Top Tens – Mythology: Top 10 Mythologies (3) Norse

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Chris Hemsworth as Thor in the 2013 Marvel film “Thor: The Dark World” – not the most accurate cinematic adaptation of Norse mythology but perhaps the most popular (via the characters in Marvel comics)

 

 

(3) NORSE

 

“We come from the land of the ice and snow
From the midnight sun where the hot springs flow
The hammer of the gods
Will drive our ships to new lands
To fight the horde, sing and cry
Valhalla, I am coming”

And now we come to a mythology that is one of the best known, even outside its European continent of origin, thanks to Thor in the Marvel Cinematic Universe and the days of the week still named in English for the Norse gods. It is also arguably one of the most hardcore mythologies, with imagery worthy of a metal album cover.

I mean, what else can you say of a mythology that features a ship made entirely of fingernails and toenails (of the dead)? Or its creation myth, in which the world was created from the corpse of a giant. No fluffy let there be light here. Or that the gods are essentially locked into a perpetual cold war (heh) against the giants – complicated by the trickster Loki in their presence, who alternates between getting them into compromising or difficult situations before getting them out of those situations (until he goes one trick too far). And like the historical cold war, the gods are planning for mutually assured destruction – famously gathering slain warriors in Valhalla – when the war turns hot at the end of the world. Or rather, when it turns ice cold at Ragnarok – or Gotterdamerung, the twilight of the gods (in the Fimbulwinter or endless winter).

Of course, Norse is something of a misnomer, as it was a Germanic mythology that extended throughout much of northern Europe, although it is most identified with Scandinavia and Iceland (and Vikings!), also the source of its surviving texts, so hence the epithet Norse.

“The source texts mention numerous gods, such as the hammer-wielding, humanity-protecting thunder-god Thor, who relentlessly fights his foes; the one-eyed, raven-flanked god Odin, who craftily pursues knowledge throughout the worlds and bestowed among humanity the runic alphabet; the beautiful, seer-working, feathered cloak-clad goddess Freyja who rides to battle to choose among the slain; the vengeful, skiing goddess Skadi, who prefers the wolf howls of the winter mountains to the seashore; the powerful god Njord, who may calm both sea and fire and grant wealth and land; the god Freyr, whose weather and farming associations bring peace and pleasure to humanity; the goddess Idunn who keeps apples that grant eternal youthfulness; the mysterious god Heimdall, who is born of nine mothers, can hear grass grow, has gold teeth, and possesses a resounding horn” and of course “Loki, who brings tragedy to the gods by engineering the death of the goddess Frigg’s beautiful son Baldur”

Norse mythology is distinctive in that its gods are not only fallible (even the wily Odin), but also all mortal. They can and do die. And die aplenty on its version of the apocalypse. No foreordained triumph of the gods here – on this day, all gods die, taking their enemies down with them. Well, not all of them, as there are some key survivors to renew the world, but that phrase just has a good ring to it.

That doesn’t stop the Norse gods from being hardcore – from plucking one’s eye out as Odin did for wisdom, or losing one’s hand as security deposit as Tyr did, putting his hand in the mouth of the Fenris Wolf. Which of course brings me to their fearsome adversaries, not just frost and fire giants, led by Loki, but also his three terrible children – the goddess Hel leading the dishonorable dead, the Fenris Wolf leading other monstrous wolves, and the World-Serpent.

Hardcore.

 

RATING: 5 STARS******
S-TIER (GOD TIER)

Top Tens – Mythology: Top 10 Books (3) Barbara Walker – Women’s Encyclopedia of Myths & Secrets

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(3) BARBARA WALKER – WOMEN’S ENCYCLOPEDIA OF MYTHS & SECRETS (1983)

 

She is the goddess and this is her body!

Also behold the monomyth! Not of Joseph Campbell’s universal hero, but of the universal goddess (although all heroes are her heroes). Or rather – the Goddess, since she is ultimately all goddesses. Virgin, mother, crone – god the mother and mother of god.

Now we get into my top trinity of my top ten books of mythology – the three B’s as I like to call them, although admittedly I have to force that a little for this entry from the first letter of the author’s first name. Interestingly, Barbara Walker has also written a number of classic references to knitting. Obviously our interest here consists of her books in neo-pagan feminism, of which this entry was first and foremost – as an encyclopedia reference to mythology and religion through the lens, or rather the dance, of the Goddess. Essentially, throughout all entries there is Walker’s monomyth of the archetypal Goddess throughout mythology and history – or rather prehistory (or perhaps herstory), as the Goddess was displaced, firstly into many goddesses, and secondly by male gods or God.

However, like neo-paganism or the goddess movement in general, Walker’s monomyth is not so much a matter of historical accuracy (as many of her historical sources and interpretations don’t hold up under scrutiny) as it is historical reconstruction – the goddess as sacred poetry rather than sacred history. Or as sacred dance – the ghost dance of the Goddess as it were.

Walker herself is an atheist, so she doesn’t believe in the Goddess as a supernatural entity but as a symbol – and one she proposes as healthier for our society.

As she quotes Eugene O’Neill in one of her entries:

“We should have imagined life as created in the birth-pain of God the Mother. Then we would understand why we, Her children, have inherited pain, for we would know that life’s rhythm beats from Her great heart, torn with the agony of love and birth, and we would feel that death meant reunion with Her, a passing back into Her substance, blood of Her blood again, peace of Her peace.” – Eugene O’Neill, “Strange Interlude”

Of course, Walker’s not just talking your New Age Goddess here, all sweetness and light or maiden and mother – baptized between her breasts. She’s also talking your Old Testament bitch-goddess, apocalyptic wh*re or classic White Goddess of Graves – crucified between her thighs.

But meh – that’s no different from my life anyway:

“Sometimes I am the sister who befriends you, sometimes I am the mother who holds you, and sometimes I am the lover who sticks one in your back.”

 

RATING: 5 STARS*****
S-TIER (GOD TIER)

Top Tens – Miscellany: Top 10 Youtube (4) Honest Trailers

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Youtube channel banner as at 31 March 2024

 

 

(4) HONEST TRAILERS – SCREEN JUNKIES (USA 2008)

 

 

“Enjoy our warped take on film & TV with a steady stream of pop-culture parody, original series, thoughtful commentary, and whatever we can think of next…Trailers that tell you the TRUTH about your favorite movies and TV shows: Honest Trailers. These are the hilarious trailers the producers don’t want you to see”

 

Similar to the fictional pitch meetings in my previous entry, the framing device for the video content here consists of fictional trailers – if they were honest about the plot holes and other issues in their films, although often still positive about the film itself (in the style of what TV Tropes – with which they seem to overlap at times – dubs affectionate parody).

 

Highlights include the starring credit puns – and of course the narration by Epic Voice Guy, whose voice is so epic fans write in asking him to narrate things at the end of each video.

 

 

RATING: 5 STARS*****

S-TIER (GOD TIER)

Top Tens – Mythology: Top 10 Mancy (4) Astromancy

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Free ‘divine gallery’ art sample – OldWorldGods

 

 

(4) ASTROMANCY

 

The fault in our stars.

Yes – I’m talking astrology, except it should be called astromancy rather than coopting a suffix that should rightly be applied to an actual science, instead of forcing that science to go by astronomy instead.

Astromancy – divinatory astrology – needs little introduction, as it sadly persists even today, although we often overlook distinctions between different traditions of astrology. The predominant tradition is that of Western astrology, which can be traced back to Mesopotamia, although Eastern or Chinese astrology is also popular. Year of the Dragon and all that.

And as opposed to other forms of divination or magic, often seen as grubby, particularly by Christianity, astrology has always seemed to command a respectable status, even an elevated one, perhaps consistent with the heavenly bodies of its subject, typically seen as divine or gods of themselves, or at least reflecting the design of gods or God.

Again, it is likely to be one of the first methods of divination, certainly as demonstrated by its pedigree in recorded history or archaeology, but probably in prehistory.

The sensory power of the night sky and stars may be somewhat diminished to the average inhabitant of modern cities with artificial illumination (and corresponding light pollution), but its raw elemental vision loomed large to our ancestors – such that historian Geoffrey Blainey in his History of the World devoted a chapter to the impact of the night sky in history.

The night sky and stars are literally heavenly and hence archetypally divine – a compelling Rorschach test upon which humanity has avidly projected meaning.

While its root Greek word would strictly only apply to divination by the stars or their movements, astromancy or astrology (sigh) typically extends to other heavenly bodies (such as the planets). As such, it includes things that are occasionally styled as more specialized – such as heliomancy or lunamancy for sun and moon, or cometomancy for comet or their tails, and so on.

As a method of divination, astromancy is undoubtedly popular, reflecting the emotional power of the sight of heavenly bodies, but it would also seem to have the problem of its sheer scale – that is, how cosmic movements or positions can relate to individual events or people.

As a school of magic, it varies on interpretation. If limited to invoking the quality of the stars themselves, as visually impressive as they are, they don’t do much else other than shine, at least as we experience or see them, and then only at night (mostly). Although even conjuring starlight in darkness can be potent, as Frodo and Sam found in Shelob’s Lair.

Of course, astromancy become more potent if it extends to conjuring or invoking stars in all their stellar or astral symbolism or metaphor – often dreamlike, fey or ethereal in nature.

Once you throw in the moon and even more so the sun, astromancy starts playing with power. That’s particularly so if it extends to lunar symbolism or metaphor – lunacy, tides and so on. Or literal or figurative solar power – light, heat, growth, fertility (or aridity).

Ironically, if one combines the cosmic conjuration of astromancy with the actual science of stars of astronomy or astrophysics, astromancy potentially becomes ridiculously overpowered on godlike levels.

For example, conjuring cosmic forces of nuclear fusion, radiation, the speed of light and electromagnetic spectrum, gravity, time, entropy, the vacuum of space, absolute zero, supernovae, black holes and singularities. Not to mention either end of the Big Bang or heat death of the universe – and all the various theories of cosmology.

 

RATING: 5 STARS*****
S-TIER (GOD-TIER – OR SHOULD THAT BE STAR-TIER?)

Top Tens – Mythology: Top 10 Mythologies (4) Celtic (Arthurian)

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Nigel Terry as King Arthur in the 1981 film “Excalibur”, directed by John Boorman – King Arthur in the 1981 film Excalibur – still the best cinematic adaptation of Arthurian legend

 

(4) CELTIC – ARTHURIAN

 

For mine is the grail quest –
round table & siege perilous
fisher king & waste land
bleeding lance & dolorous stroke
adventurous bed & questing beast

This entry is essentially for the whole of Celtic mythology in all its diversity, reflecting the diversity of the Celts themselves. The Celts extended through time, from at least the sixth century BCE through various survivals to the present day, and even more substantially through geographical space – from their original homeland in central Europe throughout Europe, most notably to the British isles. The Celts even extended into modern Turkey (where they were known as Galatians) and perhaps most famously as the Gauls threatening Rome in its infancy (before being conquered by Rome in turn).

And I find all Celtic mythology fascinating. The mythology of Gaul – which I particularly know from the gods invoked in Asterix comics by Toutatis! – is mostly from surviving names and images, cited by Roman writers inclined to “transmit any bizarre and negative” information about the people they conquered.

The Wicker Man. Druids. The mysterious horned god Cernunnos and other Gallic gods or goddesses.

Of course, the Celtic mythology that survived most in literary form (mostly as recorded by Christian monks) were for those Celts who maintained their identities – in Brittany or coastal France, in Britain and above all in Ireland with its various mythological cycles. The Tuatha de Danann or the gods of Ireland. The Ulster Cycle and its great hero Cu Chulainn. The Fenian Cycle as well as its great hero Fionn Mac Cumhaill (sometimes awesomely translated as Finn McCool) and his Fianna warrior band. And the Cycle of Kings of historical legend. Much of this mythology in Ireland, Britain and elsewhere was recycled into the fairy folklore of Europe.

However, if I’m to pick the one strand of Celtic mythology that is foremost in familiarity and fascination for me, it’s that strand that moved through to folklore and above all to historical legend – the legend of King Arthur, as part of the so-called Matter of Britain or legendary history of the Kings of Britain.

Arthur Pendragon himself, the once and future king. His father Uther. The wizard Merlin. The Lady in the Lake. The sword in the stone or Excalibur. His queen Guinevere. The enchantress Morgan Le Fay (often conflated with another character, Morgause, as the mother of usurper Mordred). The knights of the Round Table – most famously Lancelot but also Gawain, Galahad, Perceval and Bedivere. The Holy Grail. Avalon – and so on.

And of course its ongoing adaptations – which essentially started from its very inception with medieval literature – including its cinematic adaptations, of which two films remain my favorite, Excalibur, and Monty Python and The Holy Grail (which funnily enough still remains one of the most faithful adaptations to Arthurian legend)

 

RATING: 4 STARS****
A-TIER (TOP TIER)

Top Tens – Mythology: Top 10 Books (4) Katharine Briggs – A Dictionary of Fairies

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(4) KATHARINE BRIGGS –
A DICTIONARY OF FAIRIES (1976)

 

What it says on the tin, the definitive guide to that classic subject of British folklore – fairies.

A classic book, alternatively titled An Encyclopedia of Fairies, which now seems sadly out of print (but still available online), by a classic British folklorist – indeed THE classic British folklorist.

Of course, the term fairies now conjures up images of cute little gossamer-winged pixies like Tinkerbell.

In British folklore, fairies were much different, most aptly styled as the Fair Folk, itself a euphemism for things that would flay you and walk around in your skin – because you sure as hell didn’t want to draw their attention or conjure them up by using names more true to their nature, or worse yet, their true names. In fairness (heh), they weren’t always as extreme as to literally flay you and walk around in your skin, only on occasion and only some of them. Some of them were more neutral or even nice, although even the nice ones were usually weird or had weird alien morality. Indeed, alien is an apt description, as in many ways, the fairies of British folklore have been replaced with the aliens of modern folklore. And this book is a fascinating exploration, arranged as a dictionary in alphabetical entries (cross-referenced to other entries) of the various beings, creatures, attributes, themes and tropes of fairy folklore.

Also there’s an annual Katharine Briggs Folklore Award from 1982, named and awarded by the Folklore Society in honour of Briggs (who served as their president).

 

RATING: 4 STARS****
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Top Tens – Miscellany: Top 10 Youtube (5) Pitch Meeting

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Youtube channel banner as at 31 March 2024

 

 

(5) PITCH MEETINGS (CANADA 2022 – formerly part of Screen Rant USA 2008)

 

“Actually it’s going to be super easy, barely an inconvenience.”

 

Instead of the channel blurb, I couldn’t resist quoting its signature catchphrase – indeed so signature that the videos even originally went by the title Super Easy, Barely an Inconvenience – Screen Rant Pitch Meetings.

 

That catchphrase is routinely invoked by one of the duo of characters that appear in each video, the screenwriter played by Canadian comedian Ryan George, when pitching his film or TV series script in the titular fictional pitch meetings for popular films or series to the second of the duo, the film producer also played by Ryan George.

 

Invoked that is, by the screenwriter to dismiss the apparently irreconcilable narrative conflict or obstacle into which he has written his characters when the producer queries that very point – and seemingly accepted without any further argument by the producer.

 

Indeed, much of the exchange between them is the producer querying issues – being surprisingly “adept at spotting the problematic aspects of whatever he’s being pitched” – but fortunately for the screenwriter, is also easily distracted or deflected, usually by love of money as “a profit-obsessed doormat”.

 

One of my favorite aspects is how the screenwriter and producer seem to alternate playing the straight man to the other’s absurd thought processes or enthusiasm, only to be distracted or deflected by ulterior motives – usually profit for the producer and pride for the screenwriter, often to the detriment of the final product.

 

 

RATING: 5 STARS*****

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Top Tens – Mythology: Top 10 Mancy (5) Geomancy

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(5) GEOMANCY

 

O sweet spontaneous
earth… how
often have religions taken
thee upon their scraggy knees
squeezing and

buffeting thee that thou mightest conceive
gods…
thou answerest
them only with
spring”

Standing stones, ley lines and feng shui (although technically the latter translates as wind-water)

“Geomancy is a method of divination that interprets markings on the ground or the patterns formed by tossed handfuls of soil, rocks, or sand” – which prompts me to speculate if it had origins in prehistoric tracking.

It might also extend to lithomancy, or divination by stones – or crystals, including scrying into crystals or crystal balls. Or to spelunking for visions in caves – or climbing for them on mountains (oromancy or divination by mountains). Shoutout also to topomancy or divination by geography or geological formations.

As a method of divination, geomancy seems somewhat, well, meh – lacking the versatility, potency or intensity of the other methods of divination in our top ten so far, which begs the question of its ranking above them.

To be honest, part of its top ten ranking was to complete the set of four classical elements – although that still begs the question of why it is ranked over pyromancy, hydromancy and aeromancy. However, the major part of its ranking is more as a school of magic or mysticism – channeling or harnessing the magical or mystical energy of the earth itself.

Of course, there is something of an overlap with divination, but what might be considered a more proactive form of divination – not passively attempting to divine good fortune from physical features, but actively attempting to channel or harness their energy to make good fortune, literally grounding the expression that you make your own luck.

The archetype of this active creation of good fortune is the Chinese tradition of feng shui – “manipulating the flow and direction of energy based on aesthetics, location, and position of objects and buildings”.

At its widest, that archetype of geomancy is extended to things that are broadly dubbed “Earth mysteries” in Western popular culture – including those projected back to megalithic or monumental history or prehistory. The megaliths or standing stones of Europe, pyramids in general and particularly in Egypt, so-called ley lines, and so on.

As a school of magic harnessing the power of the earth itself, geomancy ranks high in potency, even more so if one combines it with actual geology – not to mention such things as earthquakes, volcanoes, lava or earth’s molten core, geological time, tectonic plates, earth’s electromagnetic field, and gravity. Or the metaphorical or symbolic meanings of earth and ground.

 

RATING: 4 STARS****
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Top Tens – Mythology: Top 10 Mythologies (5) Egyptian

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(5) EGYPTIAN

 

“I am a cowboy in the boat of Ra…
“Who was that
dog-faced man? they asked, the day I rode
from town”…
Go get my eyelids of red paint.
Hand me my shadow
I’m going into town after Set”

If there’s one of two things I lament about Christianity, it’s the decline of the Egyptian pantheon. If only the Roman Empire could have gone the way of the ankh instead of the cross. Or if only the Egyptian gods had returned out of the desert, as opposed to Islam and swept Christianity out of Egypt!

What’s not to love about those funky animal-headed gods and those slinky goddesses? Especially the goddesses – lithe and svelte in their form-fitting dresses, with their golden skin and painted eyes, they would not look out of place as supermodels on a modern catwalk. Of course, Egypt was, quite frankly, the sexiest ancient civilization – admittedly perhaps not for its population’s vast majority of peasants who farmed the Nile or worked on those useless tombstones known as pyramids, but certainly for its elite, who pretty much invented style. You know it’s true – just look at the figures in their art!

Or what’s not to love how the gods kept shifting and swapping out with each other as they rose and fell within the pantheon? My personal favorite trinity of Egyptian mythology (well apart from Anubis, one of my favorite dog gods of mythology) – Osiris, Isis and Horus as they square off against their adversary Set. O yes – Isis. Goddess of magic who seduced the secret name from the sun god Ra and lover of Osiris who resurrected him after he was dismembered by his evil adversary Set to conceive the divine hero Horus (who then avenges Osiris)

Or what’s not to love about its different and contradictory creation myths? Particularly the one where the god Atum (who swapped out as supreme god from time to time) created the world by, ahem, mastrbating it into existence. Now that’s creationism! Indeed, Egyptian mythology could get downright kinky. Isis essentially s€xes up all her magic, including that briefly reviving Osiris to conceive Horus. Or how Set and Horus essentially strive to, ahem, out-ejculate each other…

 

RATING: 4 STARS****
A-TIER (TOP-TIER)

 

Top Tens – Mythology: Top 10 Books (5) Peter Dickinson – The Flight of Dragons

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1st edition, Pierrot Publishing, 1979

 

 

(5) PETER DICKINSON –
THE FLIGHT OF DRAGONS (1979)

 

Here be dragons!

And how! It’s like Jurassic Park, only even more awesome – with dragons! This is a work of “speculative natural history”, which addresses that most awesome question – how dragons might have really existed?

Or more precisely, is there an evolutionary hypothesis that could explain the existence of dragons of mythology and lore?

In doing so, it addresses the question posed by the title – the flight of dragons. Clearly, something extra is needed for the mass of dragons to be lifted by their limited wing area – and if not magic, what?

The answer is the central hypothesis of the work – that dragons were essentially fantasy dirigibles, held aloft by sacs of hydrogen, produced from their own digestive hydrochloric acid. From that, we have their evolution from dinosaurs to most of the tropes of dragons in fantasy, not least their fiery breath, evolved to burn off excess hydrogen but finding use as a weapon – although it also offers explanations for their toxic (or more precisely acidic) blood, their hoards and most other dragon tropes, with an element of legendary embellishment thrown in (intelligence and speech for example).

It also offers explanation for the saddest dragon trope – their absence from reality. Obviously, they were hunted to extinction by humanity and their acidic blood dissolved any bodily remnants that remained behind (so no dragon fossils – alas!)

It’s a nice fantasy theory, even if it seems somewhat contrived or forced at times by standards of biology – but damned if I don’t half believe it, and even more damned if I don’t totally wish that somewhere here or there be dragons…

 

RATING: 4 STARS****
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