Mega-City Law: Top 10 Judge Dredd Epics

 

Counting down my Top 10 Judge Dredd epics and episodes – essentially as a running list updated as I finish each volume of the collected Judge Dredd Complete Case Files in my ongoing Mega-City Law reviews (presently up to Case Files 16).

Note that I distinguish between epics and episodes – on the basis of epics as longer storylines over a number of episodes. At present, I classify epics as storylines of five or more episodes. As such, this includes what I would normally regard as ‘mini-epics’ or just longer story-arcs, with the ‘true’ epics usually exceeding 20 episodes – but these are obviously special events within the Judge Dredd comic. As of Case Files 16, there’s only been 6 ‘true’ epics of more than 20 episodes – the first two such epics in Case Files 2, the third in Case Files 4, the fourth in Case Files 5, the fifth in Case Files 11 and the sixth in Case File 14.

 

 

 

 

(10) THE DEVIL YOU KNOW & TWILIGHT’S LAST GLEAMING
(CASE FILES 16: prog 750-756 – 7 episodes)

 

“Mega-City One…eight hundred million people and everyone of them a potential criminal. The most evil, violent city on earth…but God help me, I love it” – Judge Dredd, 2100.

The centerpiece and highlight of Case Files 16 – which is also the culmination of the ongoing epic Democracy storyline, the referendum whether to retain the Judges after Necropolis, instigated and pushed by Dredd himself.

After this, the Democracy movement in Mega-City One faded away, albeit bubbling to the surface from time to time, but largely transformed into or was replaced by terror movements. Of course, there was always an overlap between democracy and terror in the Judge Dredd comic, at least in the eyes of Justice Department but from this point onwards also in the remnants of the Democracy movement itself or other political opponents of the Justice Department.

And once again it is through the Democracy movement that we see Justice Department and the Judges at their darkest, but ironically also the comic at its most morally ambiguous or complex.

From the outset, Judge Dredd and his fellow Judges were intended as a dystopian satire of the worst excesses of police and government authority fused together into a post-apocalyptic police state. And yet, also from the outset, Dredd co-creator Pat Mills, best known for his anti-authoritarian themes, wrote Dredd – the ultimate authority figure – as a heroic character. As I’ve said before, Judge Dredd is essentially Dirty Harry in a dystopian SF satire, reflecting both the heroic and anti-heroic nature of that character as his predecessor.

That’s heightened here with Judge Dredd – having recently saved the city from the Sisters of Death and the Dark Judges in Necropolis – supporting the referendum and indeed the prime mover behind there being any referendum at all, although of course he is confident that the people will vote for the Judges. (Spoiler alert – he’s right). That support seems him targeted for assassination by a conspiracy of Judges within Justice Department, led by Judge Grice. The moral ambiguity with respect to Dredd’s dedication to the city and support of the referendum is not lost on the leader of the Democracy movement, Blondel Dupree.

And if nothing else, it did lead to Judge Dredd’s poster moment with the quote in my feature image – quoted twice in these episodes, including at their conclusion, and repeated since.

Of course, one might quibble with that quote. Mega-City One’s population of 800 million was accurate enough as at 2100 – although not ironically not when Dredd was meant to have been quoted here upon his return from Luna, as there was that early episode weirdness with it being quoted at 100 million in The Day the Law Died before the writers settled on 800 million in the episodes in Case Files 3. It was halved by Block Mania and the Apocalypse War – and was referred to as 350 million (after Necropolis) shortly before these episodes. There’s also that reference to God rather than Grudd.

And comparatively, Mega-City One is better than a number of other mega-cities one could name. Of course, the Australian mega-city of the Sydney-Melbourne conurb (nicknamed Oz) is hands-down the best place to live in the twenty-second century. Of the cities we’ve seen, you could argue that Brit-Cit, Hondo City, and Murphville are better than Mega-City One – perhaps even Mega-City Two is better. But…there’s a long line of cities that appear to be worse. East-Meg One (before it was nuked) and East-Meg Two. Ciudad Banquarilla or Banana City. Even Texas City looks worse. And we’ve yet to see them but spoiler alert – Luxor, the Pan-Andean Conurb and Vatican-Cit all look worse.

Still, the quote does seem to accurately reflect the essence and heart of Judge Dredd as a character and as a comic.

 

RATING: 4 STARS****

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(9) NECROPOLIS
(CASE FILES 14: progs 662-699 – 38 episodes, including the various prelude or countdown episodes)

 

When the Dark Judges reigned supreme over Mega-City One as the titular Necropolis according to their mantra – “The crime is life. The sentence is death!”

And they racked up perhaps the second highest body count of any Mega-City One crisis after the Apocalypse War or Day of Chaos – with estimates of over 60 million (out of a population of 400 million). Yes – Judgement Day had a higher body count (2 billion!!), but that was more global (to other mega-cities) rather than Mega-City One itself. Of course, the Dark Judges might have racked up a higher body count if they didn’t insist on dispensing their “justice” personally (and usually literally) by hand like chumps, as opposed to using weapons of mass destruction like the Sovs – but then, it’s a labor of love for them and they have all the time in their world or any other for it.

Of course, Necropolis is effectively part of the ongoing Dark Judges storyline, but I prefer to consider the Necropolis epic separately (at least for now).

Necropolis falls into one of the two essential Judge Dredd epic plotlines established by the first two Judge Dredd epics, The Cursed Earth, and The Day the Law Died (as well as arguably their precursors Luna, and the Robot Wars) – Dredd confronting some threat, usually existential, to Mega-City One, and Dredd venturing to some other, usually exotic, location, (or a combination of the two, Dredd venturing to some other, usually exotic, location TO confront some threat, usually existential, to Mega-City One).

Necropolis falls into the category of Dredd confronting an existential threat of Mega-City One (although he does start the epic in the Cursed Earth) – and it doesn’t get more of an existential threat than the omnicidal Dark Judges.

It also continues that element introduced back in The Day the Law Died and demonstrated par excellence in The Apocalypse War, that Dredd becomes the focus of resistance to the existential threat to Mega-City One, leading a small ragtag underground force to defeat it. In this case, as in The Day the Law Died, literally underground – in the Undercity. It still works effectively here, although it was to become something of a recurring cliché in future epic storylines.

Like The Apocalypse War, you feel genuine and very real tension for the continued existence or survival of Mega-City One. It has a similar prelude with the countdown to Necropolis that the Apocalypse War had with Block Mania – a slow burn or creeping doom, starting small but building to a force overwhelming Mega-City One. And like The Apocalypse War, Necropolis starts as that force overwhelming the city – and from there it is a taut and tensely told story of grim, gritty desperation of the mega-city on a knife’s edge from extinction, fighting for its very survival against the overwhelming odds of a relentless invader, in this case the extra-dimensional invasion of the Dark Judges and Sisters of Death as opposed to the Soviets. Arguably there is even more tension in Necropolis – at least the Soviets wanted to preserve the population of Mega-City One for conquest, while the Dark Judges have no such concern, indeed quite the opposite.

To that Necropolis adds some genuine elements of horror – always in the background with the Dark Judges, although it is often swamped out with their black comedy or high camp. Certainly, they and the Sisters of Death are also campy in Necropolis, but there is their horror as well – as with Judge Mortis pursuing the Judge cadets through the Undercity, clamoring to them as “children”.

So why does it fall short of the Apocalypse War?

Well, firstly there is the element of personal preference or nostalgia – the Apocalypse War was my introduction to Judge Dredd (through the reprint comics lent to me by a friend) and remains the classic Judge Dredd epic for me, my once and future king epic of all time. However, my second and third reasons are more objective.

Secondly, there is the simplicity of the Block Mania and Apocalypse War epic – in that I believe a first-time reader of Judge Dredd could pick it up, read it and enjoy it without too much difficulty. Block Mania is a reasonable introduction to the character of Judge Dredd and the claustrophobic dystopian nature of Mega-City One, “a society where every single thing has become monstrously overwhelming”. And the Apocalypse War is straightforward enough from history or even contemporary geopolitics – Americans vs the Soviets or Russians. There is little in the way of necessary backstory

That is not the case in Necropolis. It is arguably one of its strengths – tying together a number of longstanding themes or threads – but that will also leave new readers at a loss for those themes or threads. Probably the most important is the background of Judge Kraken, a clone of Judge Dredd by the renegade Judda, in the Oz epic – but there’s also the Democracy storyline and the Dark Judges themselves.

This is compounded by the true prelude to the epic, The Dead Man, running as a separate story from the regular Judge Dredd comic altogether (albeit partly not to spoil its central twist). The countdown to Necropolis does do a reasonable job of recapping it, but might still leave a new reader at a loss that Dredd has been disfigured or scarred from acid burns as a result of psychic attacks from the Sisters of Death – and that their attacks are themselves a sign of the doom that has already fallen on Mega-City One.

Thirdly, on the subject of the Sisters of Death, they are my third reason for ranking Necropolis below The Apocalypse War as their powers seem both ridiculously overpowered and vaguely defined for plot contrivance, the latter leaving some substantial holes. They are the means by which the Dark Judges take over the city – through their mind control of the Mega-City One Judges, although it is unclear how two entities control thousands of Judges across the city and which begs the question of why the Dark Judges didn’t use them earlier. It also begs the question of what exactly is stopping the Sisters of Death from similar psychic infiltration of the city afterwards.

 

RATING: 4 STARS****
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(8) P.J. MAYBE
CASE FILES 11: prog 534 “Bug”
CASE FILES 12: progs 592-594 “PJ Maybe, Age 13”
CASE FILES 12: prog 599 “The Further Misadventures of PJ Maybe”
CASE FILES 13: progs 632-634 “The Confeshuns of PJ Maybe”
CASE FILES 14: progs 707-709 “Wot I Did During Necropolis”
(11 episodes)

 

One of my favorite recurring characters and storylines – the ongoing misadventures of juvenile genius and psychopathic serial killer P.J. Maybe. With his complete amorality and high intelligence, albeit combined to comic effect with an apparent exception when it comes to written English (where he continues to write like a juvenile), P. J. Maybe is a recurring antagonist to Judge Dredd and one of the few perps wily enough to consistently escape detection or custody.

Of course, as the comic universe time passes at about the same rate as in real life, at least year for year, P.J. Maybe doesn’t stay a juvenile. We’re introduced to him in “Bug” at 12 years of age – in 1987 in our world and 2109 in Mega-City One – but we continue to follow him at regular intervals as he grows into adulthood, ultimately rising under an assumed identity to Mayor of Mega-City One, ironically one of its best as he successfully compartmentalized his public office from his private life (until slipping up). And of course, Judge Dredd is his ultimate as well as ongoing nemesis, although almost thirty years after he was introduced, in 2138 at 41 years of age. Arguably, he was at his best – or at least his “cutest” – as a juvenile.

Of course, most of his story was ahead of his first teaser episode, even his background as the only child of the Maybe family, relatives through his mother of the wealthy Yess clothing manufacturers, specifically of trousers (with a lucrative contract for Justice Department uniforms), or that his initials stand for Philip Janet (with his middle name as a result of his parents wanting a girl. His parents – decent law-abiding citizens completely oblivious, as most people were, of their juvenile son’s extra-curricular activities of murder – end up inheriting the Yess fortune. Not that his background really comes into play, particularly after the Judges catch up with him, as his parents die (by suicide during Necropolis) and he routinely changes identity – face-changing machines being one of his favorite tools of choice, along with his skill in robotics and chemistry, particularly the mind-altering drugs SLD-88 and SLD-89.

 

RATING: 4 STARS****
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(7) CITY OF THE DAMNED
(CASE FILES 8: progs 393-406 – 14 episodes)

 

Vampire Hershey – and zombie Dredd! What more could you want? (Well, other than the writers not to have tired of it and finished it less abruptly)

Of course, it leans heavily on the preceding epic in The Judge Child Quest (collected back in Case Files 4). Indeed, it goes back to the very origin of that Quest – the deathbed precognitive vision of Psi Judge Feyy that Mega-City One would be overwhelmed and destroyed by some mysterious disaster in 2120:

“I saw a war more ghastly than any we have known. I saw our city destroyed – and from the destruction, foul creatures rose to prey on the survivors”.

Unless of course the Judges found the Judge-Child also seen by Judge Feyy as prophesied savior – “he is fated to rule Mega-City One in its gravest hour” – but as we know, that didn’t turn out well in The Judge Child Quest. Judge Dredd found him alright, but then simply abandoned him to his fate because the Judge Child – Owen Krysler – was evil. Ultimately the Judge Child’s fate was death, killed by the Mega-City One equivalent of an interstellar drone strike when he sought revenge on Dredd for abandoning him.

And of course, at the same time, Dredd abandoned Mega-City One to its prophesied fate, essentially shrugging it off that they’ll have to face whatever comes on their own.

However, Mega-City One and the Judges are not quite done with the Judge Child Quest or the Judge Child, particularly given that Judge Feyy’s precognitive visions were 88.8% accurate (a figure only slightly less than Mega-City One’s unemployment rate). And the Judge Child Quest was back in 2102 – now it is 2107, with 2120 only thirteen years in the future.

Of course, it’s still in the future and hence unknown – until now, with the introduction of time travel to the Judge Dredd comic, indeed in the very introduction of this comic with the first successful time machine prototype, Proteus. By the way, that seems have been a popular name for time machines at that time (heh), since I’ve also read the SF novel The Proteus Operation with its titular time travel.

Anyway, the Judge Dredd comic had already introduced dimensional travel between alternate dimensions with the Dark Judges, albeit by those antagonists rather than Justice Department – but now both dimensional and time travel will be a recurring feature in the comic, albeit still somewhat rare. In its introduction, the prototype time travel still seems somewhat risky despite short-range tests – but the importance of its destination, the prophesied disaster of 2120, overrides any risk. So Chief Judge McGruder sends the duo of Judge Dredd and Psi-Judge Anderson on a time travel mission to 2120.

As I’ve said before, there are two essential Judge Dredd epic plotlines which were set up by The Day the Law Died and The Cursed Earth respectively – Dredd confronting some threat, often existential, to Mega-City One and Dredd venturing to some other exotic location. The two tend to be combined in the latter, with Dredd venturing to some other exotic location TO confront some existential threat to Mega-City One itself – as here in City of the Damned, albeit where that exotic location is Mega-City One in the future.

And 2120 turns out to be grim indeed – also introducing vampires among the “foul creatures” preying upon the survivors. Those vampires turn out to be shockingly familiar to Dredd, as is the overwhelming psychic force that destroyed Mega-City One and the Judges. The epic also involved some drastic and enduring developments for Dredd himself.

Sadly, the epic itself did not endure for its anticipated length of at least twenty episodes, as is characteristic of Judge Dredd epics, but instead ended after only fourteen episodes – apparently because writers John Wagner and Alan Grant got bored of it (as they did not like time travel stories). However, it did include some of the late great Steve Dillon’s finest Dredd epic art.

 

RATING: 4 STARS****
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(6) THE JUDGE CHILD QUEST
(CASE FILES 4: progs 156-181 – 26 episodes)

 

As I’ve said before, there are two essential Judge Dredd epic plotlines which were set up by The Day the Law Died and The Cursed Earth respectively – Dredd confronting some threat, usually existential, to Mega-City One and Dredd venturing to some other exotic location. The two tend to be combined in the latter, with Dredd venturing to some other exotic location TO confront some existential threat to Mega-City One itself (which is why I tend to classify the former as Dredd confronting the threat to Mega-City One within the city itself, with the city typically embattled against some invading force). The Cursed Earth was an example – except that the existential threat was not to Mega-City One but its West Coast counterpart of Mega-City Two – and The Judge Child Quest is in the same vein, only even more so.

For one thing, it doesn’t get more exotic or downright weird than the Cursed Earth, except for alien space – so The Judge Child Quest ups the ante by starting in the Cursed Earth and then going into alien space (via our first distinctively different mega-city setting, Texas City). For another, this time the existential threat is to Mega-City One itself. This is one of the important elements introduced in this epic, that would loom large and cast a long shadow in Dredd’s world – the deathbed prediction of Psi Division’s foremost pre-cog, Judge Feyy, with his track record of 88.8% accuracy in predicting the future, that Mega-City One would be destroyed in 2120 (so 18 years in the future in the comic’s timeline of 2102) by a “ghastly war” from which “foul creatures” would rise up to prey on the survivors UNLESS Judge Dredd could find the Judge Child, Feyy’s fated savior of the city.

And so the epic introduced another important element that would persist along with Feyy’s prophecy, the Judge Child himself, Owen Krysler, the boy “born of this city” and bearing the Mark of the Beast – I mean Eagle of Justice on his forehead – which makes for a convenient identifying feature in order to find him (as well as his appearance like that of a Buddhist monk in training).

Unfortunately, the stage is set as Owen Krysler was taken by his parents to a Cursed Earth settlement four years previously and from there abducted by mutant slavers. And of course, since finding him in the Cursed Earth would be too easy, he is abducted twice more, with the second taking him into alien space. So Dredd has to go into space on an episodic adventure rivalling that of The Cursed Earth epic, where he encounters weirdness beyond that even of the Cursed Earth – aliens of course, but also living planets, necromancers, Oracle Spice, robot kingdoms and my personal favorite, Jigsaw Disease.

Enter two more important recurring elements of Dredd’s world that would persist long after the Quest itself. The first is the villainous and notoriously violent Angel Gang, particularly fan favorite cyborg and quintessential weird Judge Dredd villain, Mean Machine Angel. As a boy, he was good-natured and showed none of the family’s violent tendencies. Obviously, the Angel Gang patriarch, Pa Angel, decided that this would simply not do, and arranged radical…surgery to transform him into a murderous cyborg, with four ‘settings’ of rage literally dialled into his head – with his basic default setting merely as the lowest level of anger. (“I’m going up to 4 on you, Dredd!”)

The second is Judge Hershey, a female character to rival Psi-Judge Anderson – whose telepathic abilities would have come in very useful to locate the Judge Child, except that she was presently in a boing bubble containing another apocalypse within her – and one who would subsequently rise high among the ranks of Judges to the ultimate position of Chief Judge.

Sadly, both those elements were mashed into the 1995 Judge Dredd film in its usual mangled manner – nothing was too sacred in Judge Dredd’s lore for that film not to desecrate in the pursuit of fan favorites. And so, we saw a version of Mean Machine Angel in the Cursed Earth, as well as Judge Hershey – played well enough by Diane Lane, but as Dredd’s love interest?! Whom he kisses, after having taken off his helmet for most of the movie. Oh the humanity!

 

RATING: 4 STARS****
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(5) THE DAY THE LAW DIED
(CASE FILES 2: progs 86-108 – 23 episodes, including the 3 episode prelude where Dredd is framed)

 

The Day The Law Died will always rank highly among Judge Dredd epics. It was the second true Judge Dredd epic, running straight on back-to-back from the first epic The Cursed Earth, when Judge Dredd returned to Mega-City One from Mega-City Two. More fundamentally, the duo of The Cursed Earth and The Day the Law Died saw the Judge Dredd comic come of age. This duo is the origin of the classic Dredd I know, although Mega-City One wouldn’t quite find its shape until just afterwards – not least in population, jumping from 100 million as referenced in The Day The Law Died to 800 million. Each of the epics (and their precursors in Luna and the Robot Wars) respectively set up the quintessential Judge Dredd epic plotlines – Dredd venturing to some other, usually exotic location, or confronting some threat, usually existential, to Mega-City One.

We saw the former in the Cursed Earth, now we see the latter in The Day The Law Died. In this case, the existential threat to Mega-City One came from the Justice Department itself, in the form of the insane Judge Cal’s rise to the position of Chief Judge, essentially by way of coup. As such, The Day The Law Died effectively introduced a recurring theme in Judge Dredd – the dangers of corruption, and especially the corruption of power, within the Justice Department, albeit rarely at the level of existential threat to the city as it is in this epic. Ironically, the source of that corruption in this epic is Judge Cal’s position as head of the SJS or Special Judicial Squad, the Justice Department’s equivalent of Internal Affairs or the body of Judges who judge other Judges. Nominally, the Special Judicial Squad is meant to guard against corruption within the Justice Department, but in practice in this and subsequent storylines they tend to have a somewhat antagonistic role to the rest of the Department (and Dredd in particular) at best and be a source of power unto themselves at worst – the House Slytherin in Justice Department.

In fairness to Judge Cal, most of the existential threats posed to Mega-City One come from Judges, just not usually Judges of Mega-City One. The extra-dimensional Dark Judges, led by Judge Death, are perhaps the most recurring danger to the city and became an existential threat to it in the Necropolis epic, with their warped philosophy that all crime is committed by the living so the elimination of crime involves the elimination of all life – “The crime is life. The sentence is death!” However, when it comes to the most effective existential threat to Mega-City One, the Dark Judges are amateurs compared to the Soviet or Sov Judges, mainly because the Dark Judges typically insist on meting out their dark justice by hand, whereas the Sov Judges typically employed weapons of mass destruction – in the Apocalypse War and subsequently in the Day of Chaos.

As for the storyline, like The Cursed Earth, it is simple and straightforward – all the better to let the SF future satire and absurdist black comedy play out. Indeed, just as The Cursed Earth essentially just, ahem, borrowed its storyline wholesale from Roger Zelazny’s Damnation Alley, The Day The Law Died also borrowed its storyline, but from a more classical source – the ill-fated reign of Roman Emperor Caligula, straight from the pages of Suetonius’ The Twelve Caesars, or more so as it was closer in time to this epic, the BBC TV adaptation of Robert Graves’ I Claudius. Indeed, Judge Cal was named for Caligula (with his appearance modelled on John Hurt’s portrayal in the BBC TV series), and he is even named AS Judge Caligula when the series was introduced (and subsequently collected under that title). Of course, if that was his actual name, it would seem to have been begging for trouble. I mean, what next? Judge Hitler?

Anyway, his insanity mirrors that of Caligula, albeit (somewhat disappointingly) without the depravity – not surprisingly in the more ascetic Justice Department of Mega-City One, or even more so, in the publishing restrictions for 2000 AD. And so, just as Caligula appointed his horse as a senator of Rome, Judge Cal appoints a goldfish as Deputy Chief Judge Fish, ironically remembered fondly by the Mega-City One citizenry for a death that saved the city. Speaking of which, the insanity of Judge Cal was such that he sentenced the entire city to death – twice. Which again evokes the historical Caligula, who according to Suetonius, wished that all the city of Rome had but one neck.

However, Judge Cal is made more dangerous in his insanity – and hence earns his place among the top tier of Judge Dredd’s villains – in that, unlike his historical predecessor, he at least has the cunning and presence of mind for a technique of mind control to ensure the loyalty of his equivalent of the imperial Praetorian Guard. And as a failsafe, when Mega-City Judges proved too unreliable, to import a new Praetorian Guard – in the form of alien Klegg mercenaries. The Kleggs and their Klegg Empire – aliens resembling giant bipedal crocodiles with appetites to match – would prove to be an occasionally recurring element in Judge Dredd (and Dredd’s recurring hatred), although the reach of their Empire is obviously limited by their temperament and lack of intelligence.

The Day The Law Died also introduced an element that would prove to be something of a recurring cliché in subsequent Dredd epics (until it was dramatically subverted in the Day of Chaos storyline) – that Judge Dredd becomes the focus of resistance to the existential threat to Mega-City One, leading a small ragtag underground force to defeat it. In this case, literally underground – in the Undercity, which became more fleshed out in this epic from its previous introduction, and contributed a critical ally to Dredd’s resistance, in the form of the dim-witted but hulking brute Fergee. Of course, Dredd didn’t have much choice in this, as he was an important target of Cal’s plans to assume the position of Chief Justice and control of Mega-City One – and he had not been subject to Cal’s mind control technique due to his absence from the city on his mission in the Cursed Earth. Cal’s initial plan is to frame Dredd – and when that fails, to assassinate him along with the incumbent Chief Judge. Sadly, these elements have something of a bad aftertaste as they were adapted into the abominable Stallone Judge Dredd film – including where the character of Fergee was transformed beyond recognition in all but name to comic relief played by Rob Schneider. Sigh.

 

RATING: 4 STARS****
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(4) THE CURSED EARTH
(CASE FILES 2: progs 61-85 – 25 episodes)

 

And here we are in Judge Dredd’s first true epic The Cursed Earth – for which some of my favorite images come not from the original episodes in 2000 AD, but the Eagle Comics reprints with their cover art by Brian Bolland.

The location of the Cursed Earth featured all the way back in progs 3-4, although it had yet to be christened the Cursed Earth and was simply described as the “wilderness from the Atomic Wars” – if by wilderness, of course, you mean most of the former United States (outside the mega-cities on East and West Coasts and in Texas), now dangerous and mutated badlands (with a running theme of dark, mutated versions of the United States). The Cursed Earth is downright drokking dangerous – mutants, aliens, ratnadoes, the last President of the United States, Las Vegas, war droids…and freaking dinosaurs!

The Cursed Earth combines the essential Judge Dredd epic plotlines – Dredd confronting some threat, usually existential, to Mega-City One, and Dredd venturing to some other, usally exotic, location, or a combination of the two, Dredd venturing to some other, usually exotic, location TO confront some threat, usually existential, to Mega-City One. The Cursed Earth epic is just that – except the existential threat is not to Mega-City One, but its West Coast counterpart of Mega-City Two. In this case, it is a deadly virus that turns people into murderous, cannibalistic psychopaths (not unlike Rage virus in the 28 Days Later film(s).

And it doesn’t get more exotic, or downright weird, than the Cursed Earth – except perhaps for alien space.

As for the storyline, it is simple and straightforward, much like that in Mad Max Fury Road (which come to think of it, would make for an excellent Cursed Earth storyline – Judge Dredd and Mad Max are even owned by the same studios, hint hint) – all the better to let the SF future satire and absurdist black comedy play it out. Dredd must drive through the Cursed Earth to take a vaccine to Mega-City Two. Of course they, ahem, borrowed the storyline from Roger Zelazny’s Damnation Alley. I know it, you know it and the writers know it. Who cares? It was an SF classic – a former Hell’s Angel must drive a vaccine from the West Coast to the East Coast in a post-apocalyptic United States after a nuclear war. Judge Dredd just goes in the opposite direction. He even takes his own former Hell’s Angel-style biker with him (by the name of Spikes Rotten). In Damnation Alley, flight was simply not possible due to the freakish atmospheric conditions because of the nuclear war. In the world of Dredd, with its regular aircraft (and space flights!), this excuse doesn’t really seem to wash, although there is a passing reference to the Death Belt of floating (and radioactive) atmospheric debris – which doesn’t seem to recur much after this epic. Hell – Mega-City One supersurfer Chopper later crosses the Cursed Earth on a hoverboard! The Cursed Earth storyline offers the flimsy excuse that the plague infectees have taken over the Mega-City Two airport(s?). Surely Mega-City One aircraft could simply land as near the city as possible? Or Mega-City One could use drones or similar craft to land anywhere else within the city other than the airports? But again, who cares? Who wants to see Judge Dredd fly over the Cursed Earth? Of course, we want to see Dredd ride across it (in his special Killdozer vehicle) and fight dinosaurs. So strap yourself in for the ride.

 

 

RATING: 4 STARS****
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(3) THE GRAVEYARD SHIFT
(CASE FILES 7: progs 335-341 – 7 episodes)

 

Here we have it – the miniature but boutique epic of seven episodes, The Graveyard Shift, that remains for me the single best ‘snapshot’ introduction to Judge Dredd and Mega-City One as a futuristic Dirty Harry in an absurdist dystopian post-apocalyptic SF satire.

Its strength is its premise – unlike the longer epics that usually involve some awareness of backstory or mythos, this shorter storyline is just another normal night of Judge Dredd and his fellow Judges policing Mega-City One, the titular graveyard shift from 9 pm to 5 am.

Well, normal night might be an understatement, as the events of this storyline do seem to exceed the usual nocturnal criminal activity of Mega-City One, even if only by a question of degree or level of intensity. I mean – it seems to involve all the usual things we see on a night in Mega-City One, just somewhat worse for some of them. And let’s face it, the criminal activity of Mega-City One is insanely intense or deliciously over the top to start with – it’s why they have the Judges in the first place.

The Graveyard Shift has it all. All the usual crimes and features of Mega-City One life – suicide ‘leapers’, Judges killed on duty, gang violence, mutant incursions from the Cursed Earth as illegal immigrants, illegal underground sporting competitions (in this case bite fighting matches) and the random searches of citizens’ apartments known as crime blitzes or crime swoops.

There’s also a block war – block wars are of course also a regular feature of Mega-City One, but this one’s a doozy, even by Mega-City One standards short of the city-wide Block Mania. Serial killers are also a recurring feature of Mega-City One, albeit perhaps not on a nightly basis – but the one we see here is out to break a record. Literally.

And we get random flashes of events unusual even by Mega-City One graveyard shift standards, including one of my favorite images for the storyline – an escaped alien devouring citizens. The story concedes that “even by graveyard shift standards, it is a busy night” – particularly at the business end of it all, the city’s body recycling plant or resyk, where a dozen Justice Department autopsy units are set up to keep those recycling conveyor belts moving.

We also get to see the more heroic self-sacrificial side to Judge Dredd along with his usual straight-shooting wisecracking police officer in the style of Dirty Harry – as he risks his life to save an infant trapped in a collapsing building. As he admonishes his fellow Judge who declare him too valuable to risk – “When a Judge gets too valuable to risk, he’s no longer a Judge!”

And Judges Hershey and Psi-Judge Anderson make appearances as well.

And of course there’s the classic scene in my feature image – classic Dredd in the style Dirty Harry. “What’s the body count, Dredd?” – “I’ll let you know.”

 

RATING: 5 STARS*****
S-TIER (GOD TIER)

 

 

(2) THE DARK JUDGES
CASE FILES 3: progs 149-151 “Judge Death”
CASE FILES 5: progs 224-228 “Judge Death Lives”
(8 episodes)

 

Judge Death. The Dark Judges.

Need I say more?

Well, yes. The first Judge Death story arc, while not epic in length, proved epic in enduring impact – introducing not just one but two of Judge Dredd’s (and for that matter its anthology publication 2000 AD’s) most iconic and enduring characters, eclipsed only by Dredd himself.

Firstly, the titular villain – who is THE most iconic and enduring antagonist for Dredd, the Chaos to Dredd’s Law or the Joker to Dredd’s Batman.

Secondly, Psi-Judge (Cassandra) Anderson – the primary female character in both Judge Dredd and 2000 AD, in both senses of the first major female character (well, apart from Dredd’s niece Vienna, but she effectively vanishes for two decades or so before resurfacing as an adult in the Dredd storyline) and the most substantial major female character.

Clearly the writers of Judge Dredd identified a problem in that Dredd lacked antagonists of substance, but particularly recurring antagonists of substance. After all, Dredd’s antagonists were typically criminals or perps, who by their nature tended to be less formidable than Dredd himself, and in any event tended to be incarcerated or killed by Dredd in their storylines. Ironically, Dredd’s most substantial antagonists have been other Judges, generally as an inversion or dark version of Dredd himself.

And the greatest of these is the extra-dimensional Judge Death – although he was human in origin, he is a supernatural adversary, effectively an undead corpse in a dark fantasy inversion of a Mega-City One Judge’s uniform. Indeed, Judge Death is a dark fantasy insertion into what is predominantly science fiction, although the Judge Dredd comic is something of a fantasy kitchen sink, throwing in everything from science fiction through fantasy to horror. For me, however, Judge Death seems somewhat less jarring than other fantasy elements in the comic, perhaps because he seems to straddle fantasy and science fiction as an extradimensional being (or an “alien super fiend” as he is sometime styled), not unlike the Cthulhu Mythos – indeed, in some ways Judge Death is akin to Cthulhu in a uniform. And because he’s just too damn cool. Anyway, his supernatural or extradimensional nature means that he is much more hardy than Dredd’s human antagonists – as he himself says, “you cannot kill what does not live”. His ‘body’ can be destroyed with enough firepower, but he then ‘ghosts’ out to jump to another suitable corpse or possess suitable minds while in transit between bodies. (He also typically kills his victims by ‘ghosting’ or phasing his hand into their body to grip their heart).

And while he is second to none in villainous scope – quite simply, he is an omnicidal maniac, with his goal as the destruction of all life, due to the insane troll logic that all crime is committed by the living so that life itself is a crime. Hence his catchphrase – “The crime is life. The sentence is death”. Although that would seem to be directed more at all human life, he carried out that sentence on his world of origin and it does seem to be devoid of all life. Of course, setting aside the insanity of the logic, that premise would still seem to be flawed, as his ‘unlife’ seems equally capable of committing crimes. (He also does make exceptions, usually for temporary expediency towards his ultimate goal, but has identified at least one notable exception to his otherwise universal death sentence, the elderly Mrs Gunderson). Consistent with the insane troll logic of his catchphrase, Judge Death tends to be played for black comedy, but always has a touch of horror about him and quite often is played for genuine horror effect. Part of his appeal (and effect) as Dredd’s most iconic adversary was that he is the ultimate dark inversion of Dredd (and the Law).

This story arc also introduced Justice Department’s ‘psychic’ judges against such supernatural threats, although they use the characteristically science fiction nomenclature of ‘psi’ (or psi powers) for the Psi-Division or Psi-Judges. Psi Division was introduced in the person of Psi-Judge Anderson, Psi Division’s leading telepath, originally modelled on blonde 1980s singer Debbie Harry (and enduring as Judge Dredd’s or 2000 AD’s recurring pin-up girl). She was also introduced as something of a foil to Dredd, albeit not in the same villainous way as Judge Death – as opposed to Dredd’s laconic and taciturn expression, she has a cheery disposition which lends itself to cracking jokes, often at Dredd’s expense. Then again, this is part of her nature as a Psi-Judge, as they all tend towards eccentric personalities by Justice Department standards (and tolerated as part of their useful abilities). In Anderson’s case, her ability and reliability has earned her the enduring trust of Dredd – and she remains one of the few people who regularly calls him by his first name Joe.

The second story arc expanded the mythos to include the other Dark Judges, effectively rounding out an apocalyptic foursome to match the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse – Death himself, Fire, Fear and Mortis. Although isn’t Judge Mortis – he’s the one with the cattle skull head (and badge) – doubling up on death judges? Mind you, the original Horsemen of the Apocalypse did much the same thing with Conquest and War as the first two Horsemen (followed by Famine and Death).

It also introduced their origin in the dimension now known as Deadworld. “Now they were assembled…Fear – Death – Mortis – Fire…the four Dark Judges. They had found their world guilty and destroyed it. Now they brought their law of death to Mega-City One”.

Well, I suppose Judge Fire is an easy guess from his appearance, given he appears as a skeleton engulfed in flame (and a flaming badge to boot). Judge Fear is a little trickier, with his full portcullis bat-winged helmet. Judge Fear of course gave Dredd the opportunity for the immortal Judge Dredd quote – “Gaze into the fist of Dredd!”

Did…did you just punch out Cthulhu, Dredd (as the trope goes)? Why yes – yes he did.

 

 

RATING: 5 STARS*****
S-TIER (GOD TIER)

 

 

(1) BLOCK MANIA & APOCALYPSE WAR
(CASE FILES 5: progs 236-270 – 35 episodes)

 

This is it – this is the big one! The Apocalypse War – and its prelude of Block Mania – remains my favorite Judge Dredd epic of all time, partly because it was my introduction to Judge Dredd (in the subsequent reprint comics).

Block Mania was destructive enough, engulfing Mega-City One in city-wide block wars between its 800 million citizens (with deaths at least in the thousands and possibly in the millions). It was hard to see how it could get worse, and then it did, in its final pages no less – it was all a prelude by the Soviet mega-city of East Meg One to their Operation Apocalypse, their war against and invasion of Mega-City One. Out of the dystopian frying pan into the apocalyptic fire…

The Judge Dredd comic had been teasing war with the Soviet mega-city – the Sovs or Sov-Judges – since their introduction as the most persistent recurring adversaries of Mega-City One in the Luna storyline, way back in progs 50-51 in Case Files 1. Of course, the Sov-Judges were much more topical when they were introduced in 1977-1978, as indeed was war with the Soviet Union (or its surviving mega-cities) back when The Apocalypse War was published in 1981-1982, a late peak in the Cold War which turned out to be its last gasp, albeit not without its nuclear scares. The historical Soviet Union collapsed a decade later – the Sovs remained in the Judge Dredd comic universe but episodes subsequent to that collapse hinted at a neo-Soviet revival. In their introduction, war was somewhat more ritualized between the American and Soviet mega-cities, at least in their lunar colonies – effectively as a death-sport, somewhat like Rollerball. Back on earth, however, the Sovs had been gradually looming as a threat of actual war.

And here it was – war with the Sovs – and how! As I’ve said before, there are two essential Judge Dredd epic plotlines which were set up by The Day the Law Died and The Cursed Earth respectively (with precursors in The Robot Wars and Luna respectively before that) – Dredd confronting some threat, typically existential, to Mega-City One and Dredd venturing to some other exotic location. The latter tends to include the former, with Dredd venturing to the exotic location to confront some threat to Mega-City One – which is why I tend to classify the former as Dredd confronting the threat to Mega-City One within the city itself, with the city typically embattled against some invading force. And you don’t get a more classic example of the city embattled against an invading force – or a more existential threat to Mega-City One – than the Apocalypse War.

In addition to being the most persistent recurring adversaries to Mega-City One, the Sov-Judges have also proved to be its most effective recurring adversaries, in terms of sheer destruction – and that’s in a universe with such omnicidal maniacs as Judge Death and the Dark Judges. Of course, the Dark Judges like the personal touch of doing things by supernatural hand, while the Sovs used nukes or other weapons of mass destruction. When you come down to it, the most damage done to Mega-City One is by Judges – predominantly by the Sov Judges, with the Dark Judges running a distant second.

Prior to the Sov Judges in The Apocalypse War, the most existential threat (and damage done) to Mega-City One had been from its own Judges – in the form of the insane Chief Judge Cal in The Day The Law Died. In that epic, the mega-city was somewhat smaller, with a population of 100 million. After that epic, the writers abruptly but discreetly bumped it up to a population of 800 million and an area sprawling along the entire Atlantic seaboard of the United States (and part of Canada). Ironically, having quietly ret-conned the city into such a giant, the writers then decided that it was just too big and messy, so they dramatically cut it down to size in The Apocalypse War – halving it, in both population (down to 400 million) and size (losing everything south of North Carolina).

Of course, it was hard to take the soap operatic satire of The Day The Law Died seriously, particularly as Chief Judge Cal’s ridiculous persona and antics were modelled on Roman Emperor Caligula. The Apocalypse War was different, at least being more grounded in the contemporary reality of the Cold War. Don’t get me wrong – it’s still over the top and tongue in cheek as all hell. Get ready for those nukes flying! They didn’t do things by halves in The Apocalypse War, or rather they literally did if you’re talking about Mega-City One itself, and there’ll be a billion people or so dead by the end of it. There is, however, a grim, gritty desperation of a city fighting for its very survival against the overwhelming force of a relentless invader. It was just as well the Apocalypse War was my introduction to Judge Dredd, as the epic makes you feel for Mega-City One and the palpable threat to its very existence in a way that The Day the Law Died did not. Indeed, perhaps a little too much – I mean, you know Mega-City One and Judge Dredd will win out in the end, but I’m not sure real wars turn so quickly on such an abrupt reversal of fortune from the plight in which Mega-City One finds itself.

Which leads to me to the story formula codified in The Apocalypse War, although it had been introduced in The Day The Law Died – of Mega-City One all but overwhelmed by the threat to its very existence, until that existential threat is abruptly reversed or negated at the eleventh hour by a small team or squad led by Dredd fighting back against it. It proved such a, dare I say it, winning formula, that it was recycled to the point of cliché or joke in virtually every subsequent epic of existential threat to Mega-City One – until outright subverted in the Day of Chaos epic, and you know, they didn’t, as Dredd and the other Judges failed to save the city and could only look only helplessly as it died.

Which leads me to the long echoes of The Apocalypse War in the Judge Dredd comic. Although other storylines also had enduring repercussions – notably the previous epic of The Judge Child Quest, which would haunt Mega-City One for eighteen years or so – it was The Apocalypse War that would have the most enduring and profound impact particularly between the American and Soviet mega-cities. Not so much the East Meg One of the Apocalypse War – I wouldn’t get too attached to that mega-city. Just saying…

But there was the other Soviet mega-city of East Meg Two, and more dangerously yet, the renegade emigres or ex-Judges of East Meg One, who would continue to exchange blows with Mega-City One until they finally wreaked their revenge in The Day of Chaos – decades later.

The Apocalypse War also introduced Carlos Ezquerra, the standard artist for 2000 AD’s Strontium Dog strip, as the standard artist for Judge Dredd epics in the following decades. I tended to prefer the cleaner lines of other artists, but Ezquerra’s art in Judge Dredd was admittedly iconic and he sadly passed away recently.

And finally, some more personal reflection on it. It remains my favorite Judge Dredd epic of all time for many reasons.

I particularly like the contrast between Block Mania and the Apocalypse War. Block Mania was a slow burn – or creeping doom, starting small but building to a force overwhelming Mega-City One. The Apocalypse War starts off as a force overwhelming the city. And from there it is a taut and tensely told story of grim, gritty desperation of a city fighting for its very survival against the overwhelming odds of a relentless invader – and eking out whatever victories it can just to hold an ever-retreating line (until, of course, the last victory).

And I can think of barely any actual wars during which I’ve cheered for victories in my lifetime, and very few in history – perhaps rightly so, as one should go to war with a heavy heart, let alone cheer its victories. But I did cheer Mega-City One’s victories in the Apocalypse War, not that there’s that much (or many) to cheer through the storyline – as small, limited and few as they are. Of course, that’s fictional wars for you – Star Wars, the War of the Ring, and so on. It also helps that the Apocalypse War epic makes you feel for Mega-City One and the palpable threat to its very existence, balanced on knife’s edge as it is from being completely overwhelmed and going under forever. And it also helps that I have been a patriot of Mega-City One ever since, sometimes to the extent that I identify with it as my actual country.

 

 

RATING: 5 STARS*****
S-TIER (GOD-TIER)

 

 

TOP 10 JUDGE DREDD EPICS (TIER LIST)

This is my running (tier) list up to and including Judge Dredd Case Files 16, in which I’ve defined epics to include storylines of five or more episodes, usually in continuous format but also including two recurring storylines.

 

S-TIER (GOD TIER)

(1) BLOCK MANIA / APOCALYPSE WAR

(2) JUDGE DEATH / DARK JUDGES (recurring storyline)

(3) THE GRAVEYARD SHIFT

The Apocalypse War (and its prequel Block Mania) is both my Old and New Testament of Judge Dredd (particularly my Book of Apocalypse) – still my favorite Judge Dredd epic and one that still has an ongoing impact, both as the foundation of my enduring love of the character and in the narrative of the comic itself.

Of course, Judge Death and the Dark Judges also make a fine Book of Apocalypse for Judge Dredd, what with the Dark Judges as Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse and all.

The Graveyard Shift may only be seven episodes but is still the best single storyline or ‘snapshot’ introduction to Mega-City One and Judge Dredd.

 

A-TIER (TOP TIER)

(4) THE CURSED EARTH

(5) THE DAY THE LAW DIED

(6) THE JUDGE CHILD QUEST

(7) CITY OF THE DAMNED

(8) P.J. MAYBE (recurring storyline)

(9) NECROPOLIS

 

X-TIER (WILD TIER) – for the newest entry as at Case Files 16

(10) THE DEVIL YOU KNOW / TWILIGHT’S LAST GLEAMING

 

 

 

 

 

Friday Night Funk: David Guetta – S*xy B*tch (2009)

 

MUSIC (MOJO & FUNK): TOP 10
(6) FUNK: DAVID GUETTA –
SXY BTCH (2009)
B-Side: Sweat (2011)

Hmm – I’m trying to find the words to describe this song without being disrespectful. You know, as opposed to its title, which are the words they found to describe a girl without being disrespectful?

David Guetta falls in the electronic dance funk end of the funk scale and is a prolific producer or mixer of dance music – indeed, between him and Calvin Harris, they might be said to predominate dance music in the new millennium. Guetta had a career playing clubs as a DJ in his native France from the 1980s and releasing his first album in 2002 but achieved international mainstream access with his fourth album One Love in 2009. And that album featured this undeniably funky single, still my personal favorite.

Close runner-up is 2011 single “Sweat” from his Nothing But the Beat album – his remix of Snoop Dogg’s “Wet”.

And the balance of my Top 10 David Guetta songs:
(3) When Love Takes Over (2009)
(4) Memories (2009)
(5) Little Bad Girl (2011)
(6) Play Hard (2013)
(7) Lovers on the Sun (2014)
( 8 ) Dangerous (2014)
(9) Flames (2018)
(10) I’m Good (Blue) (2022)

RATING: 4 STARS****
A-TIER (TOP TIER)

Top Tens – History (Rome): Top 10 Roman Empires (Special Mention) (20)

 

(20) UNITED STATES OF AMERICA??

 

Pax Americana. Washington DC – the Fourth Rome!

 

Friends, Romans, countrymen – we’re at the bottom of the Roman Empire iceberg here!

 

I’m joking. The United States has never claimed succession from the Roman Empire, nor has even the most tenuous basis for doing so – although “Americans have been comparing their country to Rome since its foundation” and “in shaping the new country, the Founding Fathers consciously hoped to copy the strengths of the Roman Republic and avoid its eventual downfall”.

 

Unless you accept such metaphysical fantasy claims as in the Percy Jackson series or in John Crowley’s “Little, Big” that the realm of Olympus or the Holy Roman Empire has transferred to it.

 

However, I’m joking and I’m serious. It is a claim that is so often made for it, not least by Americans themselves, that it has become something of a trope – often overlooking that the same trope was also used for the British Empire and its Pax Britannica. (Now people tend to deflect to the British or Europeans being the Greek predecessors to the American Romans).

 

In his preface to “The Fall of the West: The Death of the Roman Superpower”, Adrian Goldsworthy laments that “at certain sorts of parties” the discovery that he is an ancient historian “almost inevitably prompts someone to remark that ‘America is the new Rome'” – “more often than not this is followed by a smug, ‘Of course, they don’t see it.'”

 

As Goldsworthy opines, “any close look at the Roman Empire will soon reveal massive differences from any modern state, including the United States” – although of course there remains the point of comparison that the United States “is overwhelmingly the strongest country in the world and in this sense its position mirrors that of Rome”.

 

Bonus points for having as the most recognizable eagle standard in popular culture – and arguably that most closely resembling the Roman eagle in visual design (as opposed to species).

 

Also bonus points that it, like the latter-day Visigoths or Vandals that preceded and were driven out by it, the United States did technically meet my high-tier ranking criterion by occupying Rome from June 1944 in the Second World War.

 

And while on the subject of American connections to latter-day Italy, if nothing else the United States did give the world the Italian-American film Caligula in 1979 (produced by Bob Guccione and Penthouse) – which along with Suetonius (on which it is largely based) I take as gospel about the reign of Caligula and has influenced my perceptions of the Roman Empire in perpetuity ever since. No – this is not a subject in which I will entertain my debate. And yes – I strive where I can to reserve my final special mention for some kinky entry where the subject permits. I believe I’ve fulfilled that obligation.

 

RATING: 4 STARS****

X-TIER (WILD TIER)

Top Tens – History (Rome): Top 10 Roman Empires (Special Mention) (19)

 

(19) ITALY?

 

Well you had to see this one coming – although the Roman Empire may have shifted east, the city of Rome remained in Italy after all. I remember an internet meme to that effect, something about God punishing the Romans by turning them into Italians…

So naturally Rome became the focus of modern Italian nationalism, along with concepts of the revival of the Roman Empire or at least the revival of Rome with respect to a unified Italy – and beyond to a colonial empire and Mediterranean supremacy.

Italian nationalists such as Giuseppe Mazzini even promoted the notion of the Third Rome, although Mazzini substituted the papacy for Constantinople as the Second Rome – “After the Rome of the emperors, after the Rome of the Popes, there will come the Rome of the people.”

“After the Italian unification into the Kingdom of Italy, the state was referred to as the Third Rome by some Italian figures. After unification, Rome was chosen as capital despite its relative backwardness as it evoked the prestige of the former Empire. Mazzini spoke of the need of Italy as a Third Rome to have imperial aspirations, to be realized in the Italian Empire. Mazzini said that Italy should “invade and colonize Tunisian lands” as it was the “key to the Central Mediterranean”, and he viewed Italy as having the right to dominate the Mediterranean Sea as ancient Rome had done.”

And so the new Italy set about acquiring the crappiest of the eight modern major European colonial empires, partly because it was a latecomer from its unification in 1871 – and it was the only European power to be decisively defeated by one of its targets in Africa, Abyssinia or Ethiopia, at the Battle of Adwa in 1896.

Infamously, Mussolini also evoked the Roman Empire, referring to his regime as the Third Rome or New Roman Empire – perhaps most embarrassingly out of all my special mention revivals of the empire, not unlike an elderly relative trying to replicate some feat of their youth at a family gathering to look cool.

Or the sequel that no one wanted as per the meme of the original Roman empire as a TV series.

 

 

In fairness, he did manage to avenge the Italian defeat at the Battle of Adwa, (briefly) conquering Ethiopia, but if anything, this and other territory that he acquired such as Albania made his empire even crappier. The crown jewel of the Italian colonial empire, Libya, didn’t even have oil as they hadn’t discovered it then (and I recall reading even if they had it was beyond the contemporary drilling technology, although those two things probably overlap) – an irony that might have struck Rommel and his fuel-starved Afrika Korps had they known they were driving over some of the world’s largest oil reserves. That’s what happens when you try for a Mediterranean empire at least half a millennium or so after the world’s economic center of gravity had moved on from the Mediterranean.

Also in fairness, I should point out that Italy, even under Mussolini’s sequel no one wanted, did have Rome in it – my foremost criterion for high-tier ranking. So we might add another year for the fall of the Roman Empire – 1943, for the Italian surrender to the Allies in the Second World War. I have actually seen this proposed, although the person proposing it clearly had their tongue firmly in their cheek.

 

RATING: 4 STARS****

X-TIER (WILD TIER)

Top Tens – History (Rome): Top 10 Roman Empires (Special Mention) (18)

 

(18) GERMANY?

 

Similarly to Austria, Germany picked up the Holy Roman Empire ball and ran with it when unified under the Prussian monarchy as the German Empire in 1871, styled as the Second Reich after the Holy Roman Empire’s First Reich and with the same imperial title of kaiser derived from Caesar.

Hence the title of Third Reich, also touted to last a thousand years like the First Reich (spoiler – it lasted only twelve) – although apparently that was downplayed later as the Holy Roman association was a little too cosmopolitan and not quite, well, German enough.

In fairness, that last Reich did technically meet my high-tier ranking criterion by occupying Rome, if only for less than a year. It also had one of the most recognizable eagle standards, adapted from the Reichsadler of its imperial predecessors.

 

RATING: 4 STARS****

X-TIER (WILD-TIER)

Top Tens – History (Rome): Top 10 Roman Empires (Special Mention) (17)

 

(17) GREECE?

 

Probably not too surprising that modern Greece would claim the mantle of the eastern Roman Empire as its former heartland.

Indeed, after Greece won its independence from the Ottoman Empire, it developed the “Megali Idea” or Great Idea “of recreating the Byzantine Empire, understood as an ethnic-Greek polity with capital in Constantinople”, or the “Greece of Two Continents and Five Seas” (Europe and Asia, the Ionian, Aegean, Marmara, Black and Libyan seas, respectively)”.

Apparently, the idea popped up in political debates in 1844, although of course it had older roots. And Greece took a swing at it in the Greco-Turkish War of 1919-1922 when the opportunity seemed to present itself with the defeat of the Ottoman Empire in the First World War. That didn’t work out too well for them, as while the Ottoman Empire was gone, the new republic of Turkey was not as down and out as everyone had first thought.

 

RATING: 4 STARS****

X-TIER (WILD TIER)

Top Tens – History (Rome): Top 10 Roman Empires (Special Mention) (16)

 

(16) AUSTRIA?

 

Yeah, Austria picked up the Roman succession ball through the Holy Roman Empire, which had essentially become a title held by the Austrian Habsburg monarchy while everyone else played along with it.

That is, until Napoleon Bonaparte came along and told them to drop it in 1806 – but the Austrians still ran with it for their own empire, borrowing from the imagery and symbolism of the Holy Roman Empire, not least with the imperial eagle as symbol, even after Austria became a republic.

That’s it, though – but arguably still not the wildest or most tenuous of my wild-tier special mentions.

 

RATING: 4 STARS****

X-TIER (WILD TIER)

Top Tens – TV: Top 10 Fantasy & SF TV Series

 

Sigh. My Top 10 Fantasy & SF TV Series may be the most fluid of all my top tens.

Many, perhaps most, simply miss the mark for me at the outset. Those that do hit the mark generally fall away quickly or don’t have an enduring quality – or they endure too long, waning until they limp into their final season, and in either case fail to stick the landing. The recent archetypal example, for me as it was for so many others, was Game of Thrones, in which the failure to stick the proverbial landing – or dare I say it, King’s Landing (heh)- in the final season left a bitter taste that filtered back throughout the series or at least its later seasons.

Hence, I tend have a high turnover for shuffling or ranking entries into my special mentions, with so few entries having the consistent or enduring quality to rank in the top ten itself – or remain there.

In fairness to myself, there’s also my separate Top 10 Animated TV Series, in which my entries are somewhat more enduring – and animation by its nature tends to be fantasy or SF. Indeed, all but the top entry in my present top ten are clearly fantasy or SF, and the top entry (Archer) has so many substantial SF elements as to be borderline SF. (One season was outright SF and there’s a reasonable argument for the other seasons as alternate history given their anachronistic timeline and divergence from our own world in which they are nominally set.)

It’s also interesting how much supernatural or SF horror features in my Top 10 Fantasy & SF TV Series – as well as how many superhero comics adaptations. Four of the entries, including the top entry, arguably fall within the horror genre (with significant or substantial horror elements in three or four of the others) – and four entries are adaptations from superhero comics.

 

 

 

(10) WEDNESDAY (2022)

Firstly, I try to reserve tenth place for my wildcard entry – ideally an entry from the last year or so – and Wednesday fits that bill, but it also illustrates the flash in the pan quality that plagues my selection of entries for this top ten.

Even when fantasy or SF TV series start off strong – something which seems increasingly rare – all too often that quality is not enduring (and often quickly so at that) or is somewhat mixed even at the outset.

Wednesday is only one season in so far (with another season incoming) but does have that mixed flash in the pan quality – and the flash is Jenna Ortega as the titular role.

Otherwise, there’s much about this series that shouldn’t have worked and to an extent doesn’t – it’s cheesy soap opera (with some incredibly dodgy CGI) and its Harry Potter-esque premise detracts from the whole premise of the Addams family being the odd ones out – but Ortega’s charismatic deadpan performance makes it work. Well, makes it work enough for me to give it my wildcard tenth place entry for now – fantasy and SF TV can be slim pickings, with nothing since catching my enduring interest.

If nothing else, there was her iconic dance scene that went viral (and I think may have been a part of the promotional teaser material), fitting her character’s personality perfectly while also even borrowing some moves from the child character on the 1960s TV series, showing that Ms Ortega did her research in her own choreography.

RATING: 4 STARS****
X-TIER (WILD TIER)

 

 

(9) THE SANDMAN (2022)

To be honest, The Sandman is also a wildcard entry, so I’ve extended my wildcard entries from the usual tenth place to also include ninth place. Again, that’s because Sandman is also an entry from the last year or so – amidst slim pickings for fantasy and SF TV series – but also has something of a mixed flash in the pan quality for me.

And that’s ironically because I rank The Sandman comic so highly, so any screen adaptation was bound to leave me with mixed feelings. That remains the case even though the TV series is reasonably faithful to the comic – or at least as reasonably faithful as might be expected in adapting the multi-layered narrative of the comic to the screen.

Therein perhaps lies the horns of the dilemma for this series, striking the balance of faithful adaptation and, well, unfaithful adapation – where the series necessarily had to be adapted differently, particularly because of the different pacing involved or to be accessible to viewers who weren’t familiar with the comics. It was not for nothing that the series was reputed to be unfilmable (although that was probably more a matter of production rather than adaptation previously).

On the whole it did well enough, although not as well as the comic itself within my Top 10 Comics – and I’m unable to judge how well it may have succeeded in being accessible to those who had not read the comic. Actor Tom Sturridge was certainly effective as the titular character, also known as Morpheus or Dream of the Endless, and it shone in its visual effects or design towards “a shimmering, magical, moving masterpiece that defies the odds”.

RATING: 4 STARS****
X-TIER (WILD TIER)

 

(8) BRAND NEW CHERRY FLAVOR (2021)

“I want to set his life on fire”

Well this was weird and probably won’t be to everyone’s taste but sufficiently intriguing until another fantasy or SF series retains my enduring interest to replace it in my top ten. And how I could resist that title? It’s apparently based on a book – by Todd Grimson, although it reminded me of Thomas Ligotti’s My Work is Not Yet Done.

It’s also interesting to see the lead from Alita Battle Angel (Rosa Salazar) in an otherworldly role of an altogether different kind – supernatural horror. Well, she’s not so otherworldly herself, but finds herself in an increasingly otherworldly situation.

Any detailed plot synopsis would spoil too many of the twists, but the basic premise is that aspiring filmmaker Lisa Nova (played by Salazar) is screwed over by 1990s Hollywood producer Lou Burke, so strikes a deal with the friendly neighborhood witch Boro for vengeance. Of course, as events unfold – Boro is not so friendly, more creepy and horrific, as is the price paid by Burke AND Nova, although Nova is not so innocent herself, with her own skeleton in the closet (not least how she managed to film her standout scene).

“The series combines neon-soaked noir with copious doses of body horror and black comedy”. Not to mention zombies – and kittens…

RATING: 4 STARS****
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(7) LEGION (2017-2019: SEASONS 1-3)

I’ve always loved psychedelic head-trippy depictions of magic or mutant mind powers – where reality itself is slippery and not to be trusted.

Legion is something of the black sheep of the Marvel Comics adaptation family, a television series based on the little-known X-Men comics character of the same name, created by Noah Hawley – creator of Fargo, which shows in its similar quirky quality (as well as similarly hitting it out of the park with the acting of its cast, its gorgeous cinematography, its trippy visuals, its use of music and its writing). The obscurity of its titular protagonist works in its favor, as the series stands on its own despite references to outside continuity – and which also allows it to explore the underlying concepts or ramifications of mental powers, which by their very nature, are difficult to condense in cinematic adaptations.

The protagonist David Haller, is a diagnosed paranoid schizophrenic who has struggled with mental illness since his late childhood. When hospitalized, he meets fellow patient and similarly-troubled Sydney Barrett, he’s confronted with an even more disturbing possibility – that the voices he hears and visions he sees are actually real and that there’s more to his schizophrenia than what he believes. Much more – and much worse, including a psychic parasite that’s been living in his head for a long time and wants his body for itself…

The primary battlefield is David’s mind, where memories and perceptions are not to be trusted, although the psychic battles are often fought in visually spectacular fashion. Throw in the battles in physical reality between the covert government Division 3, which seeks to pre-empt any mutant threat to humanity, and Summerland, an equally covert mutant resistance, and you have a series made of pure awesomeness.

After all, I haven’t seen any other series take a cute family dog into a truly ‘oh crap’ moment like this series…

And that’s just the first season. Things become an even more wild ride in the second and final third season

RATING: 4 STARS****
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(6) BLACK MIRROR
(2011 – PRESENT: SEASONS 1-6)

Black Mirror – the cyberpunk Twilight Zone of the twenty-first century!

Okay, that cyberpunk label may be overstating it, but it certainly is a series of dark and satirical twists in the tale of the unanticipated or unintended consequences of technology and social media in modern society – or, in the words of series creator Charlie Brooker, “the way we might be living in 10 minutes’ time if we’re clumsy.”

It is an anthology series with no continuity between episodes – each episode has a different cast, a different setting or even a different reality, so you don’t have to watch them in order. Personally, I’d recommend starting with the later seasons and working your way backwards – particularly as the very first episode doesn’t extrapolate so much on technology or social media and can be a little confronting (although unforgettable – let’s just say you won’t feel about pork the same way again).

As for the premise and title of the series, it’s back to Charlie Brooker:

“If technology is a drug – and it does feel like a drug – then what, precisely, are the side effects? This area – between delight and discomfort – is where Black Mirror, my new drama series, is set. The ‘black mirror’ of the title is the one you’ll find on every wall, on every desk, in the palm of every hand: the cold, shiny screen of a TV, a monitor, a smartphone.”

RATING: 4 STARS****
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(5) THE HAUNTING OF HILL HOUSE (2018)

Yes – I include horror in my definition of fantasy (or science fiction, depending on the source of the horror) and I can’t think of another horror series on TV as genuinely scary as The Haunting of Hill House. As the title indicates, it is an adaptation based loosely on the book of the same name by Shirley Jackson.

It is psychological and supernatural horror, working effectively as both. The supernatural horror – the ghosts of the titular haunting and house itself – are certainly chilling, particularly as the director placed ghostly figures in the margins or peripheral angles of scenes (notably involving the stairs). You often didn’t see them, at least directly, but they were still there, squirming in your subconscious mind to unnerve or disturb you. The ghosts that you do see are unnerving enough, from the titular ghost in the very first episode, “Steven Sees a Ghost” – and from there on in, it’s a white-knuckled ride of suspense and creeping fear. And then there’s the psychological horror of a broken family of broken people, not to mention the occasional existential horror of life itself (such as that speech – you know the one, thank you Theo).

The plot revolves around the Crain family – Hugh and Olivia with their five children – moving into Hill House twenty-six years previously, with the parents intending to renovate it for sale, but the House – and its, ah, family – have their own hungry plans. And to paraphrase my poetic musings elsewhere – the Crain family came back from the black abyss, but they did not come all the way back (or all come back), and worse, they brought it back with them (and left part of themselves or their family behind). The story flips between the past and the present, as the family struggles with the aftermath – and that the House is still hungry for those who escaped it.

And then there’s that red room…

The only flaw for me was the ending, which was somewhat divisive for audiences in its tonal shift – although some have speculated a much darker twist in it.

And yes – I’m only counting the first season. As at the date of revising this entry, it has had a second and third season, retooled into an anthology series with the second season as an adaptation of The Turn of the Screw (and other works by Henry James) and the third season as an adaptation of the Fall of the House of Usher (and other works by Edgar Allen Poe). However, they just haven’t had the same magic for me as this first season.

RATING: 4 STARS****
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(4) THE STRAIN
(2014-2017: SEASONS 1-4)

It’s a vampire apocalypse in a box!

A vampire horror series that portrays vampires as the blood-sucking parasitic abominations they are. (Yes – I have fantastic racism against vampires. Stake them all in the sun, I say. Except hot vampire girls, of course. And there’s none of those in this series). In this case, vampirism is spread by the worm-like parasites that crawl from their bodies, one of which was depicted burrowing into an eye in an infamous promotional poster. (It’s reminiscent of the Lovecraftian vampire parasite things in the pulpy Necroscope book series by Brian Lumley).

It’s a welcome relief from the sexy (or worse, sparkly) vampires of True Blood (or worse, Twilight) and most vampires in popular culture these days – the vampires in The Strain are distinctly unsexy vile abominations of extreme body horror. It’s hard to be sexy when your (male) genitalia have atrophied and dropped off, while your excretory organs have fused together into a cloaca. Eww!

The series is the brainchild of Guillermo de Toro (yes, THAT Guillermo de Toro) and Chuck Hogan, based on their novel trilogy of the same name (albeit one originally conceived as a story line for a television series). The series opens with CDC medical staff called to an airliner in which everyone appears to have succumbed to a mysterious viral infection or disease. Or at least, so the authorities surmise – instead, it is worse. Much worse.

Soon, New York finds itself battling for its very existence against an ancient enemy with humanity itself at stake (heh).

RATING: 4 STARS****
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(3) PEACEMAKER (2022)

“I cherish peace with all my heart. I don’t care how many men, women and children I have to kill to get it”

I mean, the opening credits sequence alone would earn a place in my top ten. And Eagly too of course.

Peacemaker was introduced – on screen at least – in James Gunn’s The Suicide Squad in 2019 (the good Suicide Squad film, not the bad one), along with his credo for “peace” quoted above.

I wouldn’t have guessed that out of all the characters in that film, Peacemaker would be the one to get his own spin-off TV series, also directed by James Gunn – but it totally works, as Gunn brings his blackly comic signature style from the film to the TV series, with added hair metal flair.

Of course, it helps that the titular anti-hero protagonist is having something of a crisis of faith, not least the whole-heartedness of his credo – notably including guilt and remorse over its casualties, one in particular. And we get to see his traumatic origin, particularly at the hands of his father – played with vile relish by Robert Patrick.

Once again, Peacemaker finds himself being used as a tool – or weapon – by Task Force X, against an invasion by mysterious entities known as Butterflies, prompting Peacemaker to compare it to Operation Starfish in The Suicide Squad.

And it’s not just Peacemaker’s show – the other characters, particularly the other members of Task Force X, bring their A-game as well. My personal favorite is the cheerfully sociopathic Vigilante, although I’m not sure how faithfully his screen incarnation is adapted from the comics

RATING: 4 STARS****
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(2) THE BOYS
(2019 – PRESENT: SEASONS 1-3)

“Diabolical”

Of course, any further quotes from anti-hero Billy Butcher would involve a very explicit language warning.

This series rocked my world with its debut in 2019 – my favorite comics adaptation on TV so far, as well as one of my favorite plays on comics and superhero tropes in general. So much so I was inspired to read the comic by Garth Ennis although the television series has increasingly diverted from the comic.

The series takes place in a world where superheroes exist, such that you prefer they didn’t. On the superhero side, you have the Seven, the world’s leading superhero team – sponsored by the powerful corporation Vought International – and mostly copies of the Justice League, led by its equivalent of Superman (with some Captain America thrown in), Homelander, who more than earns that description of diabolical and invokes the trope Beware the Superman. And on the other side, you have the titular Boys, vigilante cape-busters forced to use their smarts, skills and willingness to fight dirty against their superhero adversaries – led by Billy Butcher, perhaps the series’ most compelling character to rival his primary adversary, Homelander.

RATING: 4 STARS****
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(1) STRANGER THINGS
(2016 – PRESENT: SEASONS 1-4)

I assume this Netflix original series needs little introduction.

And what’s not to love for fantasy and SF fans?

Eleven! The Upside Down! The Demogorgon and Mind Flayer! Steve Harrington’s magnificent hair (and its secret)!

More broadly, 1980’s nostalgia and pop culture references aplenty! Psychokinetic girls (reminiscent of Charlie, not to mention her adversary, the Shop, in one of my favorite Stephen King novels, Firestarter). Extradimensional alien invasion – evoking Alien and Aliens in Seasons 1 and 2 respectively with more than a touch of Lovecraft’s Cthulhu Mythos, particularly when it evokes The Thing in Season 3. Mysterious government agencies to rival the nastier versions of men in black (with their black helicopters) – so that’s what the Department of Energy does?

And of course there’s all those Dungeons and Dragons references for this fantasy fan – “I’m our Paladin, Will’s our Cleric, Dustin’s our Bard, Lucas is our Ranger, and El’s our Mage”.

To quote Wikipedia, series creators the Duffer brothers “developed the series as a mix of investigative drama alongside supernatural elements with childlike sensibilities, establishing its time frame in the 1980s and creating a homage to pop culture of that decade. Several themes and directorial aspects were inspired and aesthetically informed by the works of Steven Spielberg, John Carpenter, and Stephen King, among others”. Set in the fictional town of Hawkins, Indiana in the 1980’s, the first season focuses on the investigation into the disappearance of a young boy amid supernatural (or rather paranormal) events centered on the nearby Hawkins National Laboratory – and the second season is even, ah, more upside downier.

On the other hand, I can suspend disbelief in the Demogorgon and Upside Down – but no one ever made it that far in the Dragon’s Lair videogame…

RATING: 4 STARS****
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TV (FANTASY & SF): TOP 10 – TIER LIST

 

A-TIER (TOP TIER)

 

(1) STRANGER THINGS (2016 – present). Arguably falling within the SF horror genre

(2) THE BOYS (2019 – present). Superhero comics adaptation

(3) PEACEMAKER (2022). Superhero comics adaptation – arguably significant or substantial SF horror elements

 

B-TIER (HIGH TIER)

(4) THE STRAIN (2014-2017). It’s a vampire apocalypse in a box! Albeit more Lovecraft (or Lumley) than Dracula. SF horror

(5) THE HAUNTING OF HILL HOUSE (2018). Yes – I’m only counting one season. Supernatural horror

(6) BLACK MIRROR (2011 – present). SF – arguably some horror elements

(7) LEGION (2017-2019). Yet another superhero comics adaptation (and one that fell somewhat from its glittering first season, although I enjoyed it through all its seasons). Also on the edge of horror, particularly with its first season

(8) BRAND NEW CHERRY FLAVOR (2021). Another horror entry – weird and probably not to everyone’s taste, but intriguing enough for a place in my top 10

 

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(9) THE SANDMAN (2022). Fantasy comics adaptation (which I’ll loosely count towards the superhero comics adaptations) – some elements of horror

(10 WEDNESDAY (2022). Fantasy – technically a comics adaptation (albeit not superheroes as such) and also horror elements played for black comedy

 

Friday Night Funk: Calvin Harris – Feel So Close (2011)

 

MUSIC (MOJO & FUNK): TOP 10

(7) FUNK: CALVIN HARRIS –
FEEL SO CLOSE (2011)
B-Side: How Deep is Your Love (2015)

“And there’s no stopping us right now
I feel so close to you right now”

Calvin Harris falls in the electronic dance funk end of the funk scale – electronic dance music or house, sometimes termed electro pop or nu disco. He’s been a prolific producer or mixer of electronic dance music since his debut album I Created Disco in 2007 – both in the sense of number of singles and also in the profile of those singles, rising to international prominence with his third album 18 Months.

Of course, it’s electronic dance music, so don’t look for lyrical depth – or much in the way of lyrics in general, as the lyrics tend to be fairly basic verse mixed through the music. However, it is irresistibly funky.

And as for the balance of my Top 10 Calvin Harris songs:
(3) You Used to Hold Me (2010)
(4) Drinking from the Bottle (2013)
(5) Thinking About You (2013)
(6) Under Control (2013)
(7) Summer (2014)
( 8 ) Outside (2014)
(9) My Way (2016)
(10) Stay With Me (2020)

RATING: 4 STARS****
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Top Tens – History (Rome): Top 10 Roman Empires (Special Mention) (15)

 

 

(15) FRANCE?

 

Well, the French monarchy did snap up the title of Emperor of Constantinople from Andreas Palaiologos in his imperial title garage sale to Charles VIII in 1494 prior to him bequeathing it to Spain, for what either was worth.

Spoiler alert – it was worth nothing, although surprisingly the French monarchy apparently used the title until Charles IX could no longer keep a straight face about it in 1566.

And there it lay, until Napoleon Bonaparte, never one to lack for audacity, claimed the mantle of the Roman Empire at his imperial coronation as Emperor of the French in 1804 – albeit through the heritage of the Frankish and Carolingian Empires, as the founders of the Holy Roman Empire.

He imitated Charlemagne’s coronation as Holy Roman Emperor by the Pope, down to having Pope Pius VII at the ceremony. Although unlike that pansy Charlemagne, Napoleon crowned himself rather than having the pope crown him (embellished in historical legend as Napoleon snatching the crown from the Pope).

In fairness, Napoleon did at least achieve what is otherwise my high-tier ranking criterion of occupying Rome itself, which places his claim somewhat above other wild tier claims.

 

RATING: 4 STARS****

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