Top Tens – History: Top 10 Types of War (Special Mention) (14) Biological Warfare

International biohazard symbol (public domain). I mean, otherwise it would be an image of a bunch of test tubes or something…

 

 

(14) BIOLOGICAL WARFARE

 

War by disease or pestilence. Germ warfare – using biological toxins or infectious agents such as bacteria, viruses, insects, and fungi.

War is so often accompanied by disease or pestilence in its wake that they join each other along with famine and death as the proverbial Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse – proverbial, that is, because the original Biblical Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse were conquest, war, famine, and death (but conquest seemed too much like doubling up with war so pestilence was substituted or proposed for the original image).

Biological warfare takes that to the next level – as war waged by pestilence or disease.

Yes, biological warfare is that “offensive use of living organisms” as weapons that I pre-empted in my previous entry for chemical warfare (and distinguishing chemical warfare’s use of the toxic properties of non-living chemical substances, albeit including those produced by living organisms such as botulinum toxin, risin, and saxitoxin).

Or in other words, disease as a weapon – the use of bacteria (sometimes distinguished as bacteriological warfare), viruses, insects (sometimes distinguished as entomological warfare), and fungi (disappointingly not distinguished as mycowarfare) “with the intent to kill, harm, or incapacitate humans, animals, or plants as an act of war”.

And yes, it evokes our visceral horror in reaction to it arguably exceeding that to chemical warfare – and depending just how pandemic it is, arguably rivalling the existential horror of nuclear war. Hence the taboo against it helping to uphold the prohibition of it by international law – that has seen the modern use of biological warfare to be more hypothetical or rarer than chemical warfare, and even nuclear warfare for deployment and testing.

Of course, it helps for the taboo against and prohibition of it that biological warfare has a similar logic of mutually assured destruction as nuclear war, hence the similar existential horror (and visceral horror more than chemical warfare). However, that might change with genetic engineering, which potentially might allow for more targeted biological warfare.

There is some rudimentary use of biological warfare in history, going all the way back to the Bronze Age – the Hittites driving plague victims into enemy territory, the Assyrians poisoning wells with ergot, the use of excrement or cadavers to cause or spread infection.

Perhaps the most famous historical examples are the Mongols catapulting the bodies of those who died from Black Plague into the Crimean city of Kaffa they were besieging, or the use of blankets to spread smallpox to native Americans – although in both cases, it is debated the extent to which this actually spread the disease as opposed to other vectors.

However, it was only with modern science, not least germ theory, that biological warfare became a matter more of design than chance – while at the same time, our greater visceral and existential horror in reaction to it.

 

RATING: A-TIER (TOP TIER)

Top Tens – Comics: Top 10 Comics (Special Mention) (5) Bill Willingham – Fables

Wraparound cover art by Adam Hughes for the Fables spinoff Fairest in 2012, showcasing the female characters from the series (fair use)

 

 

(5) BILL WILLINGHAM –

FABLES (2002-2015 & 2022-2024)

 

The series is summed up by the title of its opening issue – Legends in Exile.

All myths are true. Characters from fairy tales and folklore, the titular Fables, are real – and are living in New York! New York City, that is, for the human Fables – non-human Fables (or those who can’t magically transform themselves into humans) are still in New York but upstate not the city, in “the Farm”. Refugees from their own story worlds or Homelands, driven into our non-magical or Mundane world to escape the inexorably expanding empire of the multiverse-conquering Adversary.

A little like the TV series Once Upon a Time for those who saw that series, only with more depth. There are some intriguing aspects that only get deeper the further you go. The Fables often use or weaponize their storied attributes as superpowers – including immortality and to some extent invulnerability based on the popularity of their stories, although whether the latter is the case is debated by the Fables themselves. My favorite aspect is how some Fable characters are the same recurring archetypal character across stories – such as Jack, representing all fairy tale or nursery rhyme Jacks, who as we see in his spinoff series Jack of Fables does deals with all the different devils of fairy tales and folklore.

 

RATING:

A-TIER (TOP TIER)

Top Tens – Comics: Top 10 Comics (Special Mention) (4) Pat Mills – Requiem Vampire Knight

Poster and cover art for the series showcasing the sumptuous art by Olivier Ledroit as well as everyone’s favorite character from the comic, Claudia, so much so that she got her own spinoff series (fair use)

 

 

(6) PAT MILLS –

REQUIEM VAMPIRE KNIGHT (2000 – present?)

 

The Franco-British comic Requiem Vampire Knight – or French title Requiem Chevalier Vampire – by British writer Pat Mills and French artist Olivier Ledroit is exactly what is says on the tin – the protagonist Requiem is, ah, a vampire knight (or chevalier).

The intriguing part is that it is posthumous fantasy of the darkest kind – I am a fan of posthumous fantasy or fantasy set in the afterlife, and that’s before you throw in Mills’ characteristic blackly comic misanthropy. Life sucks and the afterlife sucks more. Literally. The protagonist, a German soldier from the Second World War, is killed on the Eastern Front only to find himself in the posthumous fantasy setting known as Resurrection – a literally hellish inversion of Earth in which land and sea are reversed (with seas of perpetual fire in the place of the terrestrial continents) and whose resurrected inhabitants age in reverse, growing younger into infancy (and beyond into non-existence) with fading memories. Worst of all, the more evil one was in life, the better they are rewarded in Resurrection as various classes of monster, with the vampires as the elite aristocracy (populated by such characters as the historical Dracula, Nero, Caligula and Attila the Hun) and former innocent victims as the lowly lemures, “outcasts at best and food or entertainment at worst”. The protagonist finds himself resurrected as the titular vampire knight – but still plagued by a conscience, particularly towards the love of his former life, the Jewish Rebecca, now a lemure (a term borrowed from Roman mythology) bent on her ticket out of Resurrection (‘expiring’ her former tormentor).

In the words of TV Tropes, “an age-old adage was that, if you were bad in life, when you died it generally got worse. Nowhere is this idea more assaulted, mugged, curb-stomped and left for dead face-down in a rancid gutter than in the world of Résurrection, the brainchild of Pat Mills and illustrated in excruciatingly loving and gory detail by Olivier Ledroit”.

 

RATING:

A-TIER (TOP TIER)

Top Tens – History: Top 10 Wars (Special Mention: Revised) (14) Chinese Civil Wars – Taiping & Boxer Rebellions

 

US Marines fight rebellious Boxers outside Beijing Legation Quarter, 1900 – copy of painting by Sergeant John Clymer

 

(14) CHINESE CIVIL WARS – TAIPING & BOXER REBELLIONS
(1850-1864 & 1899-1901)

 

China has such a long history of wars within itself that one really could do a Top 10 list merely for Chinese civil wars or rebellions. Indeed, one could round up a Top 10 for rebellions in Qing China alone. Few things were as spectacular in modern history – or loom as large in the hindsight of a Chinese revolutionary regime succeeding it – as the decline and fall of the Qing Empire, fighting endless rebellions within itself, until it was ultimately overwhelmed by the final one.

And by spectacular, I mean on a scale of international wars for casualties, or even world wars in the case of the Taiping Rebellion. The Taiping Rebellion might well be styled China’s world war, in the same way that the Second Congo War is styled as Africa’s world war. It was effectively a world war fought within China – on a scale of casualties exceeding the First World War, or even matching the Second World War by some estimates. Although characteristically for Chinese wars, the overwhelming majority of casualties was not from actual violence in war, but from the famine and disease that invariably accompanied the disruption of the delicate balance or supply chains of Chinese peasant agriculture.

I’ve heard it said that the Qing Empire literally faced a peasant rebellion an average of every hour or so. I don’t know the truth of that assertion, which probably tallies up the hours in the numerous historical rebellions against the Qing, although I also suspect that many or most rebellions were too limited or localised to have any serious consequence.

 

Territories of the Taiping Heavenly Kingdom held at various times during the rebellion by M. Bitton for Wikipedia “Taiping Rebellion” licensed under https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0/deed.en

 

Not so the Taiping Rebellion. I’ve always been fascinated by millennialist or messianic movements – and it fascinates me that Qing China, formerly one of the most powerful imperial states in the world, if not the most imperial state, would find itself struggling and slogging it out for over a decade (or two if you count holdouts until 1871) with…a cult.

That’s right – a cult, one with a leader who proclaimed himself the younger brother of Jesus and declared his own Taiping Heavenly Kingdom. A cult which one would not anticipate to be particularly convincing or credible, but obviously tapped into popular unrest against the Qing.

It’s also amusing that this cult leader was effectively the equivalent of a university dropout, failing the examination for the imperial state bureaucracy. Declaring yourself the messianic leader of a heavenly kingdom and waging war against the state that failed you sounds totally like an admirable career goal in those circumstances. Why don’t more guidance counsellors recommend it?

The Taiping Rebellion marked the inexorable decline of Qing China, which was to prove terminal within half a century – and helped inspire the revolution that terminated it.

 

Movement of Boxers and Alliance forces during the Boxer Rebellion by SY – Wikipedia “Boxer Rebellion” licensed under https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0/

 

I also find the Boxer Rebellion almost as interesting as the Taiping Rebellion, because it fascinates me that Qing China could again find itself thrown into turmoil by…a secret society of mystical martial artists, generally known in English as the Boxers, but known in Chinese by the even more awesome name of the Society of Righteous and Harmonious Fists.

It’s like that mysterious secret organization under crime lord Han in the Bruce Lee film Enter the Dragon – which seemed to spend all its time pointlessly drilling in martial arts to take over the world, rather than, you know, training with guns or something, existed in historical real life.

Or perhaps the Jedi in Star Wars, as like the Jedi, the Boxers claimed magical force or supernatural power, particularly invulnerability to bullets (much like the Jedi deflecting lasers)

Unlike the Taiping Rebellion which pitted itself against the Qing state and was inspired by foreign influences, particularly Christian missionaries, the Boxer Rebellion declared its slogan of supporting the Qing state and exterminating foreigners, particularly Christian missionaries.

One might consider the Boxing Rebellion as essentially the Chinese version of its near contemporary by eerie coincidence, the Ghost Dance (although the Taiping Rebellion could also be argued to be a Chinese Ghost Dance).

The Qing state found itself on the horns of a dilemma, but with those Righteous and Harmonious Fists stroking its ego, sided with the Boxers – at least by the decree of the Imperial Dowager. The Chinese imperial officialdom and military were more split, some supporting the decree and others opposing it.

The Boxer Rebellion and the Qing imperial state that supported it did as well as might be expected for combatants who placed their faith in their invulnerability to bullets. That is to say, they lost – handily defeated by the Eight Nation Alliance of Britain, France, Russia, the United States, Germany, Austria-Hungary, Italy and Japan, who found rare solidarity with each other in curb stomping the Qing Empire and the Boxers.

My friends and I had a joke that it’s ironic that China, the nation of Sun Tzu and The Art of War, should have such a consistent lack of military competence (similar to Italy, the nation of Machiavelli and The Prince, with its consistent lack of political competence).

Like most jokes, it’s an overstatement – but China did top The Book of Lists’ 10 Most Defeated Nations in Modern History, and about half of its entry was Qing China. So not surprisingly its wars against rebellions were slogging matches.

Top Tens – History: Top 10 Types of War (Special Mention) (13) Chemical Warfare

Australian infantry wearing respirators at Ypres in 1917, Australian War Memorial (public domain image)

 

 

(13) CHEMICAL WARFARE

 

“You’re poison running through my veins”

That’s right. Chemical warfare is basically just poison. Well, even more so than the song by Alice Cooper.

Nerve agents, blister agents or vesicants, blood agents or asphyxiants, and choking or pulmonary agents

Yes, chemical warfare uses different types of poison, generally categorized by their effects on the human body, by different means of delivery, but still poison nonetheless.

“Chemical warfare (CW) involves using the toxic properties of chemical substances as weapons”.

It is distinct from radiological warfare or the radioactive effects and fallout of nuclear warfare. While it can include the “use of non-living toxic products produced by living organisms (toxins such as botulinum toxin, ricin, and saxitoxin)”, the “offensive use of living organisms” as weapons is also another type of warfare (in the very next special mention entry).

The use of poisons in warfare or as weapons goes all the way back to ancient history – and indeed prehistory, if the use of poisons by contemporary hunter-gatherer tribes is any guide. (The example that always comes to mind are the poison dart frogs named for their use as a source of poison for darts or arrows by native American tribes in Central and South America).

However, it was modern industrialization that provided the basis in production and delivery for chemical warfare on a substantial rather than sporadic scale – with the use of poison gas in First World War as the archetype and apogee of chemical warfare (unless you count the H0l0caust which remains the deadliest use of poison gas), such that it is only fitting chemical warfare follows after trench and tunnel warfare.

Apogee, that is, because our visceral horror in reaction to chemical warfare is arguably exceeded only by that of the next entry, or the existential horror of nuclear war. Hence, the taboo against it (similar to the taboo against those other two forms of warfare) as well as the prohibition of it by international law, with the former helping to uphold the latter despite intermittent chemical warfare since WW1.

Top Tens – History: Top 10 Wars (Special Mention: Revised) (13) Ottoman Conquests

 

Sobieski at Vienna – painting by Stanislaw Chebowsk 1865-1876 National Museum in Krakow

 

(14) OTTOMAN CONQUESTS (1299 – 1699)

 

The rise and conquests of the empire that conquered Constantinople and besieged Vienna – twice, although the second time was their highwater mark of conquest.

One can draw parallels with the conquests of other empires, some more ironic than others. Perhaps the least ironic is the rise of the Ottoman Empire rivalling the conquests by the Arab caliphates it ultimately replaced in predominance in the Middle East – and indeed replayed much of the same history over the same territory. The Ottoman Empire may have lacked the range and speed of the Arab conquests, being slower and more methodical than the blitzkrieg pace of the latter but made up for it in the extent to which it invaded and conquered within Europe.

On that last point, one might draw some parallel with the Mongol conquests, aptly enough for the Turkic steppe nomadic origins of the Ottomans – as the most substantial invasion of Europe since and to rival the Mongols.

One might even draw a parallel with the Romans – aptly enough as the power that finally conquered (and saw itself as inheriting) the last of the Roman Empire. Firstly, in the rise of the Ottomans from one of numerous non-descript warring tribes on a peninsula, albeit the Anatolian rather than Italian peninsula (although as further irony, the Romans traced themselves from that peninsula as well, with their mythic origin from Troy). And secondly, in the methodical and almost inexorable nature of its conquests – as well as its tenacity in decline, although this entry is concerned with the former.

It is also intriguing how much of the origins of modern history might be traced to the looming presence of the Ottoman Empire in Europe and the Mediterranean – such as the discovery of the New World from seeking to find alternate trade routes to Asia and so on.

Again, one might see the parallel with the Arab conquests, with the Ottoman conquests shaping modern history similarly to the Arab conquests shaping medieval history. And like the Arabs, one of the first obstacles the Ottomans faced on their path to conquest was the eastern Roman empire, albeit much declined from its days of defending against the Arabs. Still, the Ottoman siege(s) and capture of Constantinople were an epic end to the eastern Roman empire – and springboard for further Ottoman conquests.

With its conquest of the Byzantine Empire as well as Constantinople as its newly conquered capital and its control of the Mediterranean basin, the Ottoman Empire was a transcontinental empire at the crossroads of Europe, Asia and Africa for almost half a millennium, albeit half of that again in decline.

Egypt was of course the jewel in the crown of their African empire – but it extended westwards from Libya to Morocco (and briefly into the Atlantic with the Canary Islands), becoming the basis of the fabled Barbary corsairs or pirates which even fought the United States, although these were only nominally under Ottoman control. The Ottomans also extended southwards to the Horn of Africa – and into naval wars in the Indian Ocean.

In Asia, they inherited the caliphate and its predominance in the Middle East, extending south through the Arabian peninsula, although held at bay by a resurgent Persia under their own Turkic Safavid dynasty.

However, it was in Europe that they had their conquests that define this entry – they conquered the Balkans, extending to Crimea with the Crimean Khanate or Tatars, successors to the Mongol Golden Horde, as their vassal state, and also reached to the heart of Europe to besiege Vienna. Although apart from its defeats when besieging Vienna, it encountered significant holdouts or resistance elsewhere – Croatia, Dracula or Vlad the Impaler, Venice and the naval Battle of Lepanto.

If I were to pick one war from among these conquests to encapsulate them, it would be the war that saw their second siege of Vienna, particularly famed for the charging Polish cavalry or winged hussars that broke the Ottoman siege – the Great Turkish War or Wars of the Holy League from 1683 to 1699.

The Great Turkish War was fought between the Ottoman Empire on one side and the Holy League on the other – the Holy Roman Empire, the Poland-Lithuanian Commonwealth, Russia, Hungary and Venice.

And following from that defeat in the Battle of Vienna, the Great Turkish War ended with Turkish defeat – and defeat that was to prove the highwater mark of their conquests in Europe, losing substantial territory in Hungary and elsewhere.

Thereafter the Ottomans steadily lost their conquests in the Balkans even as it was propped up by Britain against Russia, resulting in it being styled as the “sick man of Europe” in the nineteenth century – somewhat overconfidently, as the Allies were to find out in WW1, although ultimately it collapsed in that war.

Top Tens – History: Top 10 Types of War (Special Mention) (12) Industrial Warfare & Total War

Boeing B-29 Superfortress bombers under construction on an assembly line (public domain image – Wikipedia “Industrial Warfare”)

 

 

(12) INDUSTRIAL WARFARE & TOTAL WAR

 

“Say hello to Ford, and General F…g Motors…You have horses! What were you thinking?”

War in mass – mass conscription, mass mobilization, mass production. Home front and total war.

Economic warfare segues nicely into industrial warfare, the type of warfare that can only be fought by industrialized economies “capable of creating and equipping large armies, navies, and air forces”.

Industrial warfare includes the technology of rapid transport and communication, mechanization and motorization, small arms and machine guns capable of rapid rates of fire, high velocity artillery, mechanized naval warfare, armored warfare, and aerial warfare.

Industrial warfare is virtually synonymous with the concepts of total war and the home front – “where a society’s entire economy, population, and infrastructure are considered part of the war effort…blurring the line between military and civilian”.

Apparently, “the term was coined during World War I by Erich Ludendorff” and it became coupled with “waging warfare with absolute ruthlessness”, including “the reintroduction of civilians and civilian infrastructure as targets in destroying the enemy’s ability to engage in war”. Not coincidentally, it also became coupled with unrestricted warfare – “”unrestricted in terms of the weapons used, the territory or combatants involved, or the objectives pursued, especially one in which the laws of war are disregarded”.

 

Top Tens – History: Top 10 Wars (Special Mention: Revised) (12) Timurid Conquests & Invasions

Timur defeats the Sultan of Delhi in the winter of 1397-1398, painting dated 1595-1600 (public domain image – Wikipedia “Timurid Conquests and Invasions”)

 

 

(12) TIMURID CONQUESTS & INVASIONS (1370-1405)

 

The wars of the Turco-Mongol conqueror Timur or Tamurlane were the last of the great horse blitzkriegs – “the last of the major nomadic conquerors of the Eurasian Steppe” mauling other states of such formidable reputation as the Golden Horde, Mamluk Sultanate, the Ottomans, and Delhi Sultanate. He was even eyeing off Ming China before his death.

If I were to pick which of the four major successor states to the Mongol Empire were to rival its reputation in conquest, I would have picked any of the other three – the Golden Horde, the Yuan Dynasty in China, or the Ilkhanate in Persia – before the runt of the litter, the Chagatai Khanate in Central Asia. Of course, by the time of Timur, the Ilkhanate had disintegrated into fragmentation, and the Yuan had fallen to the new Ming Dynasty, but even then I would have gone with the Golden Horde.

I certainly wouldn’t have picked the Chagatai Khanate to defeat the Golden Horde – nor to defeat the Mamluks who had defeated the OG Mongol Empire or the Ottomans who had just started to steamroller their way up the Balkans, but then I hadn’t reckoned on the Timurnator (heh)

“The Timurid conquests and invasions started in the late 14th century with Timur’s control over the Chagatai Khanate and ended at the start of the 15th century with the death of Timur. Due to the sheer scale of Timur’s wars, and due to the fact that he was generally undefeated in battle, he has been regarded as one of the most successful military commanders of all time. These wars resulted in Timur’s supremacy over Central Asia, Persia, the Caucasus, the Levant, and parts of South Asia and eastern Europe, and they also resulted in the formation of the short-lived Timurid Empire”.

Timur gained control of the western Chagatai Khanate (in Transoxiana) but because he was not descended from Genghis Khan, he ruled under the title of Amir through a puppet Khan, although he was to marry a descendant of Genghis (the widow of his defeated opponent) and style himself as the son-in-law of Genghis Khan. He also styled himself as the Sword of Islam, although ironically his major opponents were the other major Islamic states of Eurasia.

As the Sword of Islam and in the Mongol family tradition, he unleashed all hell across Eurasia, with casualties estimated in the millions. Timur gained control of the western Chagatai Khanate in 1370 and for the next thirty five years he conquered the remnants of the Ilkhanate in Persia and “led a series of military campaigns defeating the Khans of the Golden Horde, the Mamluk Sultanate in Egypt and Syria, the emerging Ottoman Empire, as well as the Delhi Sultanate in the Indian subcontinent…these conquests led to the creation of the Timurid Empire, which fragmented shortly after his death.”

Shortly before his death, Timur “had even attempted to restore the Yuan dynasty” in China.

The Golden Horde never recovered from Timur, disintegrating into smaller khanates that were ultimately swallowed up by the Russian state. While the Ottomans were defeated by him – giving the Byzantine Empire some small respite before its death – they bounced back to bigger and better things.

As for the Delhi Sultanate, “Delhi’s conquest was one of the greatest victories of Timur, arguably surpassing Cyrus the Great, Darius the Great, Alexander the Great, and Genghis Khan, because of the harsh conditions of the journey and the achievement of taking down the richest city of the world at the time. Delhi suffered a great loss due to this and took a century to recover.”

Even after that century, Timur still conquered India from beyond the grave – or more precisely through one of his descendants, his great-great-grandson Babur, who conquered India to forge arguably the most powerful imperial state in the subcontinent prior to the British, the Mughal Empire, which survived even in decline to the nineteenth century.

Top Tens – Top 10 Girls of History (Special Mention)

The scene from the 1989 film Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure, which I quote for the reference to historical babes (fair use)

 

 

TOP 10 GIRLS OF HISTORY (SPECIAL MENTION)

 

But Bill, there are even more more historical babes!

Yes, I’ve counted down my Top 10 Girls of History, but given that we’ve got all of human history, there’s more than enough historical babes for my usual twenty special mention entries per top ten.

Of course, this continues in the same vein of personal novelty list as my Top 10 Girls of History, as the entries don’t tend to have the same art or cosplay as my usual Fantasy Girls in popular culture – but you may continue to be surprised at the extent to which girls of history do feature in popular culture, albeit not always with historical accuracy.

 

A-TIER (TOP TIER)

 

 

Promotional image of Raquel Welch for the film One Million Years BC. You know this is an authentic photo of a prehistoric woman as it’s black and white. Prehistoric women are also a surprisingly prolific subject of equally authentic films, as well as comics and other media as per my special mention entry for Jungle Girls and Cavewomen in my Girls of Comics (fair use)

 

 

(1) PREHISTORIC GIRLS

 

Hold up, Stark After Dark, I hear you say – this isn’t just another entry for the Jungle Girl and Cavewoman, those archetypal characters of comics and fantasy, is it?

Why yes, it is, but it isn’t just that – it’s an entry for the actual girls of prehistory, to the extent that they have come down to us in art, whether prehistoric art (usually sculpture) or modern reconstructions of their appearance by art or models.

For the former, the most famous prehistoric female figure is the Venus of Willendorf – although as figures go, she’s a little thick for my taste, and I suspect far thicker than the actual average Paleolithic hunter and gatherer girl. Her thick figure may well be a stylistic representation (or spiritual invocation) of abundance or fertility. Alternatively, I’ve heard a theory that the Venus of Willendorf and similar figures are self-portraits by female artists and hence represent the distorted perspective looking down at their bodies (consistent with their lack of facial features).

Anyway, there’s a naming convention of Venus for prehistoric female figurines, not all of whom are as thick as that of Willendorf.

And yes, prehistoric girls may not have names in historical records like the girls of history, but they do often have names given to them by convention, usually from their location (where their art or graves were located) – such as Willendorf herself, or the Egtved Girl. There’re also enough prehistoric girls – at least in terms of types or archetype – for their own top ten.

 

Film poster for the 1961 Italian film Nefertiti Queen of the Nile – note it replicates her famous bust in the lower right corner (fair use)

 

 

(2) GIRLS OF ANCIENT EGYPT – NEFERTITI

 

Well, no surprise here, given that ancient Egypt is up there in my nominations for the s€xiest civilizations of history. What’s not to love about those slinky girls in Egyptian art? Lithe and svelte in their form-fitting dresses, with their golden skin and painted eyes, they would not look out of place as supermodels on a modern catwalk.

There are enough named girls of ancient Egypt for their own top ten, albeit only one other than Cleopatra (the top spot of my Top 10 Girls of History) has widespread name recognition – Nefertiti, perhaps the most famous bust from ancient history.

No, not like that! I’m talking bust as sculpture of the subject’s head – with Nefertiti’s bust as arguably the most recognizable artefact of Egyptian history, even more so than any artwork of Cleopatra.

Well, perhaps a little like that, with Nefertiti as the titular queen in the 1961 Italian film Queen of the Nile.

 

 

Image of Eva Green as Artemisia in a promotional image with Themistocles in the film 300: Rise of an Empire. She has a steamier scene with him elsewhere (fair use)

 

 

(3) GIRLS OF ANCIENT GREECE – ARTEMISIA

 

Perhaps somewhat surprisingly given how women were effectively second-class citizens of ancient Greece, although it roughly varied between Athens at one end and Sparta at the other (where ironically women had a better position to some extent), there’s more than enough girls of classical Greek and Hellenic history for their own top ten. Yes – including those topless Minoan ones.

There’s also many with wider name recognition beyond specialist history, but I’ve gone with Artemisia…because Eva Green. 300: Rise of an Empire was a desultory prequel, but I liked Eva as Artemisia – as I’ve liked her for pretty much anything. It was a close call with Angelina Jolie’s Olympias, even if that film was also desultory.

 

Sophia Loren as Honoria in the 1954 Italian film Attila, which helped establish her internationally -and helped showcase the two main reasons for the decline and fall of the Roman Empire (fair use)

 

 

(4) GIRLS OF CLASSICAL ROME – HONORIA

 

O yes – there’s more than enough women in the historical record of classical Rome for their own top ten, some very salacious indeed.

I’ve gone with Honoria, despite wider name recognition for other girls of classical Rome, because…Sophia Loren (in the 1954 film Attila). Also, she’s a femme fatale who perhaps more than any other female figure literally embodies the fall of Rome.

Cleopatra, Boadicea, and Zenobia might all arguably count as women of classical Rome but I feel that’s stretching it for imperial subjects turned rebels against or enemies of Rome, even if as rulers of client states.

 

 

Poster for 1954 film Theodora Slave Empress (fair use)

 

 

(5) GIRLS OF EASTERN ROMAN EMPIRE – THEODORA

 

“Such passion! Such a woman!…Theodora, slave empress!”

I mean, I’m not going to see a film poster like this and then not include it in special mentions for my girls of history! Although I liked Theodora, wife of emperor Justinian, beforehand and would have included her as poster girl for this entry even without an actual poster.

There’s also the historical themed art of Gambargin in social media, who has a particular soft spot for the women of the eastern Roman Empire – with my favorite being the gag art for the Byzantine Discussion and Study Meetings.

But seriously, the eastern Roman empire took the historical record of the women of classical Rome and doubled down on it – literally in terms of further span (give or take, depending on how you reckon it) but also in terms of better status, in comparison not only to classical Rome (including actual empresses as opposed to the classical Roman empire) but contemporary Western Europe and Islamic states.

And yes – that means there are enough girls of the eastern Roman empire for their own top ten.

 

Priestess of Delphi (1891) by John Collier, showing the Pythia sitting on a tripod with vapor rising from a crack in the earth beneath her (public domain image)

 

 

(6) PRIESTESSES & ORACLES – PYTHIA & VESTAL VIRGINS

 

Probably the first leading role played by women in history – or indeed in prehistory, given some of the prehistoric female figures in my special mention entry for the women of prehistory – albeit not their oldest profession as the saying goes (and which is the subject of its own special mention entry here), although that role and profession are said to have overlapped in some cases.

That last of course doesn’t apply for one of the two religious female figures of history that I’ve chosen because of their fame for this entry – the Vestal Virgins of classical Rome, a religious office held by multiple women over centuries, some of whom are named in the historical record. The Pythia – occasionally referred to as the Pythoness – is the other of the two famed female figures of history and similarly was an office as the leading classical Greek oracle, the Oracle of Delphi, held by multiple women over centuries.

There’re enough religious female figures in history for their own top ten.

 

DVD cover for “Grace Kelly: American Princess” (fair use)

 

 

(7) ROYALTY – QUEENS & PRINCESSES

 

After priestesses and other religious female figures, probably the next leading role played by women in history.

Some have already featured in my Top 10 Girls of History, those rebel queens against Rome – Cleopatra, Boadicea, Zenobia – as well as Marie Antoinette.

Some have already featured in these special mentions – Nefertiti for example.

But that’s just the tip of the iceberg for the female royalty of history, which could have their own top ten many times other – including the princess I chose as representative of this special mention, Grace Kelly as Princess Grace of Monaco.

 

 

Honey Bunny, nose art on a Lockheed P-38 Lightning, at the Planes of Fame Museum in Chino, California, photograph by Spartan7W – Wikipedia “Nose art” under license https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/deed.en

 

(8) GIRLS OF WAR

 

Women have not played as leading a role in war throughout history as they have in religion or royalty – but there are enough girls of war for special mention and their own top ten, indeed arguably there’s even enough girls of war for individual wars such as First or Second World War. The latter could be extended to pin-up nose art, but readily includes famed Soviet female snipers or pilots such as Lyudmila Pavlichenko, Roza Shanina, and the Night Witches,

Some girls of war have already featured in my Top 10 Girls of History or special mentions so far – Joan of Arc, Boadicea, Tomoe Gozen, and Artemisia.

 

B-TIER (HIGH TIER)

 

“Death of Sappho”, 1881 painting by Miguel Selva (public domain)

 

 

(9) SAPPHO & HYPATIA (630-570 BC & 350/370 – 415 AD)

 

The classical girls of poetry and philosophy, of enduring historical fame.

Sappho is famed for her love poetry – and also for the subject of her poetry, such that her name has lent itself to the term Sapphic that connotes, well, the same thing that the name of her native island of Lesbos has also been used to connote.

Hypatia hasn’t quite the fame of Sappho’s name (or the island of Lesbos) but has become a feminist icon for her fame as a pagan Neoplatonist philosopher, astronomer, and mathematician – as well as being transformed into a “martyr for philosophy” at the hands of a Christian mob.

 

 

Mulan as she appeared in the classic Disney animated film (fair use)

 

 

(10) HUA MULAN (4TH-6TH CENTURY AD)

 

“Let’s get down to business, to defeat the Huns”.

Yes, yes – she’s more legendary than historical but I’m counting her here.

You all know her from the Disney film of her name – the good animated one, that is. A Chinese woman who disguised herself as a man to fight with the army against the “Huns” – the nomadic Xiongnu who may or may not have been the same as the Huns in Western history.

 

Lagertha as portrayed by Katherine Winnick in the Vikings TV series

 

(11) LAGERTHA (9TH CENTURY AD)

 

“Lagertha, according to legend was a Viking ruler and shield-maiden from what is now Norway and the onetime wife of the famous Viking Ragnar Lodbrok. Her tale was recorded by the chronicler Saxo in the 12th century. According to the historian Judith Jesch, Saxo’s tales about warrior women are largely fictional”

Yes, she may be more legend than history (like Ragnar himself) but I couldn’t go past Katheryn Winnick’s depiction of her in the Vikings TV series

 

Yes – it’s my standard stand-in for Meso-American women, Chel in her iconic shot from the film The Road to El Dorado (fair use)

 

(12) LA MALINCHE (1500 – 1529)

 

Alternatively Malintzin or Marina – interestingly, when searching online her description comes up as “Mexican interpreter”. Well, that’s underselling her. She was a Nahua woman from the Mexican Gulf Coast with a gift for languages – speaking Nahuatl and Maya, but most substantially for her role in history, Spanish.

There’s the old (and somewhat s€xist) saying that behind every great man is a woman. In this case, the woman was La Malinche and the man was Hernan Cortes – La Malinche was a slave-woman “gifted” to the Spanish with her own gift for languages, who became Cortes’ interpreter, diplomatic adviser and mistress.

She might also be described as his co-conquistador. She was an instrumental part in the true reason for the Spanish victory other than disease – that the Spanish force didn’t win it as such, but rather led the much larger winning force consisting predominantly of their native American allies against the Aztecs.

And yes, I’m using Chel as my usual Meso-American pin-up stand-in but the consort of Cortes has spawned all those Meso-American girl memes ever since. Also Chel is not a bad stand-in for La Malinche, given her shrewd intelligence adapting to the Spanish interlopers in her Meso-American world (and Cortes himself makes an appearance).

 

Pocahontas as she appeared in her titular animated Disney film (fair use)

 

 

(13) POCAHONTAS (1596 – 1617)

 

Thanks to the Disney film, probably the most famous female figure of native American history.

Although I’m going with the Disney film depiction as it featured her as a Disney princess, rather than the child of 10-11 years that she was when the English colonists arrived in 1607. At least she was a historical figure – the daughter of chief Powhatan, “the paramount leader of over thirty tribes” – but was elevated in folklore or legend from her actual history of captivity and exploitation in the Anglo-Powhatan War. In that history, she was captured by the English, coerced into conversion to Christianity, baptized as Rebecca (which seems a downgrade from Pocahontas), married to tobacco planter John Rolfe and taken to England where she died from illness at only 20-21 years.

 

Watercolour portrait of Ada King, Countess of Lovelace, c. 1840, possibly by Alfred Edward Chalon (public domain)

 

(14) ADA LOVELACE (1815 – 1852)

 

If being the daughter of Lord Byron (and his only child within his marriage) wasn’t enough to feature as one of my girls of history, there’s also that she is often dubbed the first computer programmer for her work on Charles Babbage’s “analytical engine”.

 

 

Laura Fraser as Florence Nightingale in the promotional image of the 2008 movie of that name

 

 

(15) FLORENCE NIGHTINGALE (1820 – 1910)

 

The Lady with the Lamp!

The most famous nurse in history – in large part because she founded modern nursing – and an icon of Victorian culture.

She also saved more lives than any other entry in my top ten or these special mentions, perhaps more than all of them combined – significantly reducing death rates by improved hygiene and living standards, both during her nursing (as well as managing and training nurses) for wounded soldiers in the Crimean War and subsequently through her institution of modern nursing as well as social reforms.

 

 

Jane Fonda as the titular Cat Ballou in promotional images for the 1965 film of that name

 

 

(16) CALAMITY JANE & ANNIE OAKLEY (1852-1903 & 1860-1926)

 

I considered an entry for the girls of the Wild West but while there were certainly other female figures of the Wild West, it’s really these two that have the widespread name recognition.

They tend to be made more glamorous in appearance when represented in popular culture so I’ve chosen to represent them by Jane Fonda’s Cat Ballou from the publicity photos for the film. Sadly, the actual girls of the Wild West weren’t quite as glamorous as they are depicted in popular culture, even if I have a soft spot for the latter.

 

 

Cover art by Ariela Krisantina of the first issue of the Mata Hari comics series by Dark Horse Comics published 21 February 2018 (fair use as depiction of Mata Hari in popular culture)

 

 

(17) MATA HARI (1876-1917)

 

Still the most famous female spy in history, lending her stage name to sheer mystique and embodying the femme fatale as an exotic dancer using her powers of seduction as a spy.

Unfortunately for her, the First World War was a dangerous time to be a spy and she was executed by French firing squad as a spy for Germany.

That hasn’t stopped her being frequently adapted in popular culture, including the comics series of my feature image

 

 

Amy Adams as famed aviatrix Amelia Earhart in the Night at the Museuem film (fair use as depiction of Amelia Earhart in popular culture)

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(18) AMELIA EARHART (1897 – 1937/1939?)

 

American aviator (or aviatrix) and pioneer of aviation in trans-Atlantic flights, although her fame was heightened by her mysterious disappearance in the Pacific while attempting to become the first female pilot to circumnavigate the world. (She disappeared in 1937 and was declared dead in 1939).

She has become a global cultural figure, including her portrayal by Amy Adams in the Night in the Museum film series.

 

Faye Dunaway as the titular Argentine political leader in the poster or publicity image for the 1981 TV film Evita Peron (fair use)

 

 

(19) EVA PERON (1919-1952)

 

“Don’t cry for me, Argentina”

Need I say more? Actress become First Lady of Argentina, then cult figure and icon of Andrew Lloyd Webber’s musical theater production Evita.

 

 

X-TIER (WILD TIER)

 

 

Thais of Athens with torch (I presume about to help burning down Persepolois) – 1781 painting by Joshua Reynolds (public domain)

 

 

(20) COURTESANS – PHRYNE & THAIS

 

It is dubbed the oldest profession but I was still surprised by how prolific they were in history – enough for their own top ten, not to mention my usual kinkier entry as my twentieth special mention.

Or how high profile they could be, although of course we are talking the historical elite here. To represent them for this entry, I couldn’t go past the two famous hetairai (or hetaerae) of classical Greece

Phryne became one of the richest women of ancient Greece, was the model for artists for statues of Aphrodite, and was acquitted in her trial for impiety after baring her br€asts to the jury – which frankly I’d like to see in more trials.

Thais accompanied Alexander the Great, was famed for instigating the burning of Persepolis and became the de facto queen of Egypt as lover of Ptolemy.

Top Tens – History: Top 10 Types of War (Special Mention) (11) Economic Warfare

Union soldiers destroying telegraph poles and railroads in Georgia, 1864 – art by F.O.C. Darley and engraved by Alexander Hay Ritchie, restoration by Adam Cuerden and available from the US Library of Congress’ Prints and Photographs Division (public domain image – Wikipedia “Economic Warfare”)

 

 

(11) ECONOMIC WARFARE

 

“War is a racket.”

Booty, loot, spoils, plunder, pillaging and sacking – not to mention piracy and slavery. And for when you can’t take it with you or just want to weaken your enemy, there’s laying waste, salting the earth or scorched earth, ravaging, razing, and general devastation or destruction. While vandalism has come to mean the latter, its historical origin in the name of the Vandals was more the despoilation of the former.

All warfare is economic warfare.

Well, not quite but close. Warfare consistently has had economic resources or targets as motive or means of waging war, albeit not universally.

That goes all the way back to its origins in prehistoric warfare, where the economic resources as motive for war were as rudimentary as hunting grounds or foraging territory.

From agriculture onwards, the economic motives of war became more concrete and durable for occupation, storage or transit – from grain to gold and everything in between, as well as the land from which economic resources were grown or mined. Humans themselves became economic resources through slavery of captives (although if more contemporary tribal warfare is any guide, prehistoric warfare often involved women as captives).

Logistics and supply lead naturally to the subject of economic warfare, which in pre-modern history was predominantly looting or sacking. Indeed, prior to the rapid growth of productivity in modern history, most windfalls of economic growth in history seem to be from population growth, trade in luxuries – and above all, from military conquest and warfare.

In short, whether war has been a racket, it certainly has been robbery on a grand scale throughout history – or vandalism on an equally grand scale.

Or piracy if you prefer – while pirates are usually seen on the opposing side to states in history, there are states that have effectively been pirates or deployed piracy (or privateers) as a means of war. Perhaps the most famous example of the latter is the piracy of other European states, most notably the English, on Spanish shipping from the Americas – although attacks on shipping, most notably by submarines, has been a feature of modern warfare, albeit to sink rather than sack the ships and their cargoes.

Yes, we tend to think of economic warfare as the modern use of economic means of state power as a substitute for military force – soft power rather than hard power – but economic warfare has been used in tandem with military force to weaken enemy states for thousand years, even by such basic (and classic) means as “ravaging the crops of the enemy”.

However, the same modern developments in trade and industry that have seen wars become comparatively less lucrative as a means for economic motives – as well as more costly – have also lent themselves to greater sophistication and effect for economic policies or warfare separately from military force.

“Policies and measures in economic warfare may include blockade, blacklisting, preclusive purchasing, rewards and the capturing or the control of enemy assets or supply lines. Other policies may include tariff discrimination, sanctions, the suspension of aid, the freezing of capital assets, the prohibition of investment and other capital flows, expropriation, and debasing the target’s currency by counterfeiting”.