Mega-City Law – Judge Dredd Case Files 1

 

JUDGE DREDD CASE FILES 1
Mega-City One 2099-2100
(1977-1978 progs 2-60)

 

In the beginning was the Law, and the Law was with Dredd, and the Law was Dredd.

This is where we go back to the beginning, the very first episodes of Judge Dredd. For these and indeed all subsequent episodes, I’ll be referring to the collected editions of Judge Dredd in the Complete Case Files. Of course, in this case, I’ll be referring to Volume 1, which collected 2000AD ‘progs’ 2-60, or the year 2099-2100 in Judge Dredd’s storyline. (Remember in Judge Dredd that each year in real time equates to a year in story time, which is something of a rarity in comics).

And while Judge Dredd was the Law from the outset, it took some time for Dredd as well as his setting (Mega-City One) and his story to find their more definitive forms subsequent fans would recognize, with some story elements – particularly the setting of Mega-City One – taking until Volume 3 to do so.

Volume 1, as the first year of publication – reflected the usual concerns for longevity of a series in an anthology comic. However, Judge Dredd proved an enduring hit with fans from the outset, such that his story-line could feature its first extended story arc or ‘mini-epic’, The Robot Wars, from its ninth episode (or ‘prog’ in 2000 AD’s lingo) and finish its inaugural year of publication with its second extended story arc or mini-epic, Luna.

However, despite its exploratory nature, a surprising number of iconic elements were introduced in and endured from the episodes in Volume 1.

For one thing, there’s those two story arcs or mini-epics, The Robot Wars and Luna, which not only had narrative elements recurring in later storylines, but also laid the foundations for the first genuine and archetypal Dredd epics in Volume 2, The Day the Law Died and The Cursed Earth.

For another – there’s major narrative elements such as the Cursed Earth (although not christened as such until the epic of that name) and its mutant population, the Statue of Justice (towering over the Statue of Liberty), the unseen face of Dredd beneath his helmet, Walter the Wobot, the yet unnamed Lawgiver guns the Judges use, the yet unnamed Lawmaster motorbikes the Judges use, Max Normal, Judge Giant, the Department of Justice (with its Hall of Justice and Academy of Law), Rico Dredd, the Undercity, the apes of Mega-City One, American lunar colonies, and the Soviet or Sov Judges.

As well as more minor ones like face-changing machines, the precursor of the invariably disastrous consumer fads that sweep Mega-City One and riot foam (one of my personal favorites).

 

 

JUDGE DREDD CASE FILES 1:
WHITEY (prog 2)

 

This is where it all began…

The very first episode of Judge Dredd – which was ironically in the second episode or so-called ‘prog’ of 2000 AD, because they couldn’t get their act together sooner.

It’s a solid introduction to Dredd and his world, not dazzling or thrilling perhaps, but solid enough to lay the groundwork for an enduring series. As a necessity for a strip of 5 pages (2000 AD is an anthology comic, typically of 5 stories or so), the plot is pared right down – to the classic storyline of Dredd rooting out criminals or perps from a building. Of course, a pared down plot works to its advantage, particularly for an introductory story. One might note that this was essentially the plot to the 2012 Dredd movie, a primary reason why it captured the essence of the comic much more effectively than the 1995 Judge Dredd movie with its convoluted storyline unsuccessfully trying to insert too many elements from the comic for its own good.

Of course, that plot is ultimately the essence of any Dredd story and indeed his character – apprehending perps. It’s his job after all. The introductory episode also has the essence of the Dredd mythos – a futuristic Dirty Harry in a dystopian satire, although the emphasis in this episode is on the former rather than the latter. Indeed, there are some missteps here – Dredd’s setting is introduced as New York 2099 AD! As corrected by the next story, New York is effectively part of Mega-City One, as it and other cities have been absorbed into the latter as it sprawled along the American eastern seaboard. In this episode, it is not yet clearly post-apocalyptic or even particularly dystopian – “huge star-scrapers soar miles high into the air”, literally overshadowing buildings like the Empire State Building, which have become part of a literal and metaphorical underworld, fallen into ruin and used as hideouts by “vicious criminals”.

The first Judge we see is not THE Judge, Dredd himself, but the short-lived Judge Alvin, in the distinctive uniform (resembling motorcycle leathers) on the equally distinctive motorcycle (not yet named Lawmasters, but recognizably so).

Anyway, the leader of the Empire State Building criminals, ‘Whitey’, kills the patrolling Judge Alvin with his “laser cannon”. Interestingly enough, the Judges themselves don’t use lasers but guns (named Lawgivers of course) and bullets, albeit more advanced guns and bullets (with the latter more as miniature missiles). Whitey scavenges the helmet from the fallen Judge’s uniform, mockingly declaring himself as Judge Whitey – although he and his gang are disappointed that it isn’t THE Judge, Judge Dredd, who is apparently already notorious as the embodiment of the Law and the “toughest of the judges”.

Whitey taunts the Judges – sending the motorcycle with Judge Alvin’s body chained to it and a note “WHO YOU GONNA SEND AGAINST ME NOW PUNKS, JUDGE WHITEY”. Well, we all know the answer to that question. The Chief Judge initially wants the “air squad” to raze the building to the ground, but Judge Dredd suggests that they should send a solitary Judge to apprehend the Empire State Building gang, to reinforce respect for the Law – as later episodes will disclose, this is a recurring thing for Dredd and he does it again and again. Of course, when that one Judge is Judge Dredd, it’s all over but the shooting – using his automated bike as a distraction, Dredd successfully surprises and outshoots the gang, with the “lightning reflexes” from his training.

And here we have our dose of future satire, as Judge Dredd sentences the captured Whitey to life imprisonment as a Judge killer – on Devil’s Island, which spooks even Whitey into begging for mercy. Devil’s Island turns out to be a traffic island at the center of a highway network, cut off by the automated trucks that drive by it non-stop at 200 miles per hour, and prisoners are ‘marooned’ on it. J.G. Ballard had a similar story of people marooned on a traffic island in his story The Concrete Island. A satirical touch, but one that doesn’t seem to be practically effective – for one thing, it seems that prisoners might escape by throwing something (weaker prisoners for example) to cause some sort of pileup or awaiting breakdown. As it turns out, it isn’t secure as Whitey subsequently escapes – and future storylines abandon it for dependable iso-cubes and penal colonies, most notoriously the space penal colony on Jupiter’s moon Titan for Judges gone bad.

And yes – my feature image is actually Brian Bolland’s cover art for the first issue of the Eagle reprint comics.

Also yes – it did not actually reprint the first issues from the original 2000 AD episodes. Fortunately, it does reprint Punks Rule, that epilogue to The Day the Law Died and the basis for the cover art – which is also not dissimilar in its plot device of Dredd’s recurring schtick to suggest for a solitary Judge, himself of course, to take out dangerous gangs to reinforce respect for the Law.

However, this cover art is such an iconic image of Dredd that I have to feature it upfront with Case Files 1.

 

 

JUDGE DREDD CASE FILES 1:
KRONG (prog 5)
The New You / The Brotherhood of Darkness (progs 3-4)

 

Funnily enough the next Brian Bolland cover art for the Eagle Comics reprint in order of the original episodes was issue 34, which flashed back to the fifth episode, featuring a robotic King Kong knockoff known as Krong in an episode of that name. The episode is…not as exciting as it sounds and sadly did not feature Dredd arresting Krong as in the cover art. Instead Krong was used as the instrument of crime (to destroy a building) by a museum curator of special effects.

And there were some iconic features of Mega-City One introduced even as early as progs 3 and 4. Face-changing machines – seemingly a common and easy form of cosmetic surgery – were introduced in episode 3, The New You. Mutants and “the wilderness from the Atomic Wars” – yet to be named the Cursed Earth – were introduced in prog 4 The Brotherhood of Darkness. They would subsequently reprise their role as antagonists to Dredd in The Cursed Earth epic in Case File 2.

 

 

JUDGE DREDD CASE FILES 1:
THE STATUE OF JUDGEMENT (prog 7)
Frankenstein 2 / Antique Car Heist (progs 6 & 8)

 

Possibly the most iconic feature of Mega-City One – this landmark feature of Mega-City One introduced in prog 7 named for it, the newly constructed Statue of Judgement – the gigantic statue of a Judge that towers over the neighboring Statue of Liberty.

Prog 6 “Frankenstein 2” sadly does not quite recreate the story of Frankenstein but involves the theft of bodies for illegal transplant surgery.

Prog 8 “Antique Car Theft” involved the not so interesting premise of 20th century petrol-fuelled cars being valuable antiques. The more interesting premise was almost a throwaway gag – the rare occasion of Dredd taking off his helmet (at gunpoint). We don’t see his face but the perps do and it’s apparently so horrifying that it shocks them enough Dredd has time to pull his Lawgiver out to shoot them. Although we have never seen Dredd’s face – ever – in the comic (well, except unrecognizably as the Dead Man), they did seem to abandon his hideousness as a plot point and it became more a matter of his mystique. And while we haven’t seen his face, we have seen that of his clone-father Fargo which didn’t have any such issue.

 

 

 

JUDGE DREDD CASE FILES 1:
ROBOT WARS (progs 9-17)

 

The Robot Wars was the first Judge Dredd ‘epic’ – or more precisely longer story arc, since 10 episodes hardly seems to count as an epic, although Dredd’s first longer story arc saw it come of age as an enduring series.

And yet…meh, it’s okay. Of course, it is at a disadvantage as I was introduced to Judge Dredd by the Apocalypse War epic (and its Block Mania prelude), still my personal favorite Dredd epic. For that matter, I still consider Dredd’s first true epics and coming of age to be the back-to-back storylines of The Cursed Earth and The Day the Law Died – which feature in (and essentially comprise) Volume 2 of the Complete Case Files.

So The Robot Wars pales in comparison. It seems a little…contrived or even heavy-handed at times. Of course I can hear you exclaim – O Stark After Dark, isn’t being heavy-handed one of the fundamental characteristics of Judge Dredd? True – but that heavy-handedness is usually leavened by or indeed part of its absurdist humor, black comedy or satire. The Robot Wars still has some of those qualities, but the balance of them just doesn’t seem (or hasn’t had time to develop to be) as effective as in subsequent epics or episodes.

The Robot Wars also covers the familiar SF territory of, well, a robot war – although perhaps not as familiar at the time of its publication prior to the Terminator and Matrix films. In this case, the robot war is led by messianic carpenter robot (oho!) Call-Me-Kenneth, although ‘he’ turns out to be closer to robo-Hitler. Indeed, he announces himself to be a fan of Adolf Hitler, which begs the question – who programmed that into him?! There are some discordant notes – the robots are likened to slaves for the Mega-City populace to live lives of ease. However, subsequent storylines show quite the opposite, that automation and robots have resulted in unemployment variously stated but at least 90% – with the overwhelming majority of the Mega-City population living lives of crime, drudgery and welfare dependency.

Of course, having previously been introduced to mutants, The Robot Wars introduces us to another of the most recurring SF tropes and equally problematic themes for Judge Dredd, Mega-City’s robot ‘population’. (Mutants, robots and aliens are the big three SF tropes – and themes – for Judge Dredd). The relationship between robots and Mega-City’s human population in general – and its human Judges in particular – will be almost as problematic as Mega-City’s relationship with the mutant population of the former United States. And just as with mutants, Mega-City should seem to adopt a more nuanced approach to its robot population. If its robots do have genuine artificial intelligence (as they often seem to do), shouldn’t they be afforded citizenship status – or at least some legal status or protection? Indeed, its robot population generally seem to be more law-abiding and more observant of others, human or robot, than its human population. Once again, Judge Dredd seems to be more sensitive to this issue than his fellow Judges, although not quite as charitably as he is towards mutants.

 

 

 

JUDGE DREDD CASE FILES 1:
ROBOT WARS (prog 9-17)

 

The Robot Wars story arc also introduced recurring character Walter the Wobot, so-called because he lisped his R’s as W’s – a loyalist robot crucial to Dredd’s victory over the robot rebellion and rewarded with full citizenship as a result (as seen in the final episode here), although he chose to become Dredd’s robot servant (and fanboy).

I also include this image as part of a running theme equivalent to a drinking game for a title drop in a film – spotting the image used for Dredd on the Case Files cover and he was certainly striking a pose here.

 

 

JUDGE DREDD CASE FILES 1:
BRAINBLOOMS (prog 18)

 

Brainblooms in prog 18 might seem a strange episode to single out for attention, but for one thing – the introduction of one of my favorite features of Mega-City One commonly used by the Judges against its unruly citizens, riot foam!

A sprayed foam that hardens like concrete almost instantaneously, encasing those rioting citizens within it. Hopefully it’s porous so people can breathe – or the Judges have damn good aim. I seem to recall that Justice Department has a solvent for it – either that or they just chip away at it the good old-fashioned way to extract those rioters.

Here they use it for the titular brainblooms, some sort of illegal alien or mutant plant that their owner uses to hypnotize Dredd. It doesn’t take – and he’s back with the riot foam to use on the plants. The brainblooms may also count as a proto-fad – a theme we’ll see a lot more of with the bizarre future fads among Mega-City citizens.

 

 

JUDGE DREDD CASE FILES 1:
THE COMIC PUSHER (prog 20)
Mugger’s Moon (prog 19)

 

Literally introducing Max Normal – “It’s Max Normal, the pinstripe freak. One of my informers…”

The “pinstripe freak” – so-called because he wears pinstripe suits and sports twentieth-century fashion or style as part of the ‘normals’ fad which he led, as opposed to the usual punk biker or skater chic of the majority of Mega-City One, including the Judges with their uniforms.

“Stomm! It make me sick just to look at you, Max. Why don’t you grow your hair and get some decent wild clothes like everyone else? Why have you young people always gotta be different?”

Not that we learn it here but in subsequent episodes we learn Max is one of the 1% – the wealthy of Mega-City One. Not mega-corporation billionaire wealthy or anything like that, but at least millionaire wealthy – through his normals fad but probably more through being a champion player of shuggy, Mega-City One’s weird variant of pool.

Also an interesting sight into Justice Department resembling the East German Stasi, with its cohort of civilian informers. In this episode, what Max informs on to Dredd is the titular illegal comic pusher – and of course the comic that is being pushed is 2000 AD, a nice little plug for the Dredd’s own comic – “2000 AD – the famous comic from the twentieth century. Brilliant!” and “Fantastic stuff! No wonder those lawbreakers were charging a fortune for it!”. Although it’s not entirely clear why the comic is illegal in-universe…

Oh – and Mugger’s Moon in the preceding prog 19 is a somewhat bland episode featuring muggers. It also features Mega-City One apparently having no air pollution (from a combination of Clean Air Acts and technology) – I can’t recall that popping up again, although I do recall radiation warnings from time to time. Also Mega-City One apparently has no Good Samaritan-type laws, so Dredd has to deal with a callous motorist who failed to render assistance to a mugging victim on a technicality. That does surprise me – later episodes would certainly feature criminal penalties for failing to inform the Judges about a crime, even as a bystander, which would seem to have applied in this episode so Dredd need not have relied on that technicality.

 

 

JUDGE DREDD CASE FILES 1:
THE ACADEMY OF LAW 1 (prog 27)
The Solar Sniper (prog 21)
Mr Buzzz (prog 22)
Smoker’s Crime (prog 23)
The Wreath Murders (prog 24)
You Bet Your Life (prog 25)
Dream Palace (prog 26)

 

Introducing the Academy of Law – where all Mega-City One Judges receive their training as cadets or rookies (from early childhood) – here we see Dredd checking out his honor roll class of 2079 (twenty years earlier than 2099, the year of this episode in-universe).

Other episodes I skipped over to get here
• The Solar Sniper (prog 21). Pretty much what it says on the tin – a hitman using a solar-powered super-rifle to take out Judges. Introducing Mega-City One’s Weather Control (which Dredd uses for clouds to beat the sniper) – in a distressingly landbound building (and called Weather Congress), not the aerial station we see in subsequent episodes
• Mr Buzzz (prog 22) – a mutant perp that uses bat-like sonar
• Smoker’s Crime (prog 23) – introduces smokatoriums as smoking is illegal on streets. Later episodes would outlaw tobacco altogether (presumably leaving a synthetic tobacco as legal)
• The Wreath Murders (prog 24) – Dredd apprehends a street murder gang that uses wreaths as their calling card
• You Bet Your Life (prog 25) – Dredd apprehends a deadly underground game show. It’s rigged of course
• Dream Palace (prog 26) – features dream machines as a popular leisure activity in Mega-City One, sadly never to be featured again. There goes my Total Recall Judge Dredd crossover…

 

 

JUDGE DREDD CASE FILES 1:
THE ACADEMY OF LAW 2 (prog 28)

 

Introducing Judge Giant – one of coolest characters in the Judge Dredd universe and one of the most popular recurring judges, other than Dredd himself.

Yes – he was introduced in the previous episode, but as a cadet rather than as a Judge (graduating from rookie in my featured image).

And although he was to be killed five years on, he effectively came back in new and improved form through his son (from an extra-Judicial liaison).

 

 

JUDGE DREDD CASE FILES 1:
THE RETURN OF RICO (Prog 30)
The Neon Knights (prog 29)

 

“He ain’t heavy – he’s my brother!”

Introducing (and concluding) Dredd’s corrupt clone-brother, Rico Dredd (prog 30). Caught by (Joe) Dredd himself and sentenced to Titan, where Mega-City One sends its worst criminals – Judges gone bad. It’s not as secure as you’d expect for a prison in space – as there’s frequent escapes, including Rico – returning for vengeance on his brother, but outgunned by the latter. However, he remains a fundamental element in the Dredd mythos thereafter – to an extent, Dredd will always carry his clone brother with him.

For one thing, as subsequent episodes reveal, Rico had a daughter, Vienna Dredd, who grows up as Dredd’s niece – and given that Rico was his clone, Vienna is virtually his own daughter. She of course symbolizes Rico’s original corruption – as, like Jedi, Judges are forbidden from sexual relationships (although this is relaxed much later in the series, while still frowned upon by the Justice Department). Dredd distances himself from her, but subsequently assumes a closer paternal role to her – as she in turn grows into one of the strong female characters of the storyline.

For another, Dredd – and his story – remains haunted by this taint in the (clone) bloodline – with Rico as his shadow, the potential corrupt version of himself, and on a larger scale, the Department of Justice. Indeed, Dredd’s best adversaries are dark shadows of himself (and the Judges in general), as symbolized by Rico – although Rico remains as more a symbol of Dredd’s own potential for inner conflict. However, Rico foreshadowed even darker inversions of Judge Dredd and the Law to come, culminating in Dredd’s ultimate adversary – Judge Death and the Dark Judges. Whereas Rico was the corrupt shadow of Dredd, Judge Death is his absolute dark inversion. Rico at least was tempered by his own humanity and corruption. Judge Death and the Dark Judges are utterly inhuman and zealous to their Law, in which the crime is life and the sentence is death.

The previous episode, The Neon Knights, in prog 29 essentially involved the titular Ku Klux Klan analogy – even referred to as one of a number of secret vigilante klans – targeting robots in the wake of the Robot Wars. There’s a twist in the tale as their leader is revealed as a secret cyborg.

 

 

 

JUDGE DREDD CASE FILES 1:
DEVIL’S ISLAND (prog 31)

 

And we return not only to Whitey, the first perp we ever saw Dredd apprehend – and show us how dangerous he really was – but also to Devil’s Island, that weird traffic island prison they phased out for proper iso-cubes.

As I said back for prog 3, nice satire a la J. G. Ballard’s The Concrete Island, but one that didn’t seem to be practically effective, as an escape simply relied on disrupting traffic. Which Whitey does here by enlisting another prisoner to jury-rig a device to hack into Mega-City One’s weather control for a snowstorm – although that just raises more questions.

Fortunately Dredd’s in the vicinity at the time and just apprehends him again, returning him to Devil’s Island. Which again raises more questions, given how Whitey just orchestrated an escape from there – within the same year he was apprehended. No wonder they phased it out for iso-cubes.

 

 

 

JUDGE DREDD CASE FILES 1:
THE TROGGIES (prog 36-37)
Komputel (prog 32)
Walter’s Secret Job (prog 33)
Mutie the Pig (progs 34-35)

 

Introducing the Under-City, a setting (and inhabitants) almost as full of weirdness as the Cursed Earth – indeed, essentially the Cursed Earth under Mega-City One – albeit not quite as we know it.

It wasn’t quite introduced in the same subterranean form it evolved into in subsequent episodes. Here it is simply referred to as the underworld, consisting of an old network of subway stations – and Dredd appears to be surprised by it (whereas in much more recent episodes we’ve seen him and Rico venture into it as cadets).

Here the inhabitants – the titular troggies – seem to copy twentieth century clothing and slang, the latter to a cloying extent. Again, this was dropped as the Under-City dwellers evolved more into weird or semi-mutated inhabitants similar to those in the Cursed Earth – although the Under-City itself often contained relics of the twentieth century cities. Like New New York in Futurama, Mega-City One often did not simply grow out of the existing cities on the eastern US seaboard but over them.

As for the other episodes, we skipped:
• Komputel (prog 32) – Judge Dredd deals with an automated hotel that has become murderous. Have they learnt nothing from the Robot Wars?! Also hotels seem somewhat anomalous to the dystopian setting MC-1 we know
• Walter’s Secret Job (prog 33) – more early instalment weirdness as Walter the Wobot moonlights (from being Dredd’s robot servant) as a taxi driver. The weirdness is Dredd referring to Walter taking the job from human drivers – where in the Mega-City One we know, automation or robots have taken virtually all jobs. Also, why don’t they just automate the cab rather than have a robot driver?
• Mutie the Pig (progs 34-35). More moonlighting, but this time a crooked Judge – a classmate of Dredd, no less, named for the artist Ian Gibson – moonlights as a perp with a mutant mask.

 

 

JUDGE DREDD CASE FILES 1:
THE APE GANG (Prog 39)
Billy Jones (prog 38)

 

City of the Apes!

My disappointment is immeasurable that the Judge Dredd comic didn’t go with that title. I would also have taken the Apes of Wrath.

Apes are a surprisingly prevalent trope in SF and the Judge Dredd comic is no exception – so much so that it is one of the thematic special mentions to my top ten Judge Dredd episodes and epics. Apes have been used to echo human nature in literature long predating SF, but SF offered a new spin – ‘uplift’ apes. That is, apes ‘uplifted’ through human technological enhancement to a higher level of intelligence, even rivaling humanity.

The world of Judge Dredd is no planet of apes – nor is Mega-City One a city of apes – but there are uplift apes, introduced here in one of the earliest episodes of Judge Dredd no less. Unfortunately, they were introduced as living in a ghetto dubbed the Jungle, which smacks of, ah, apist stereotypes. Perhaps even more unfortunately, they were also introduced through the so-called Ape Gang, an ape criminal gang that styled itself on equally stereotypical Italian-American 1930’s mobsters (headed by Don Uggie Apelino with his lieutenants Fast Eeek and Joe Bananas).

Of course, the Ape Gang did not prosper when it went head-to-head with Dredd – and for that matter the Jungle was destroyed during the Apocalypse War. However, uplift apes did survive in Mega-City One, occasionally popping up when the writers remember them – and fortunately as more engaging characters to rival their human citizen counterparts.

As for the episode we jumped over:
• Billy Jones in prog 38 featured the premise of a Mega-City trillionaire, transparently named Hugh Howards, and his criminal plot to substitute duplicate robot spies for the children of owners of rival companies…as industrial espionage? Ah – as a trillionaire, does he really need to resort to such shenanigans, and even if he did, surely there is a more legitimate and profitable way to spend his money achieving it, not to mention a more practical means of industrial espionage ? I do like the way the episode features Mega-City One using Dredd as a boogeyman to scare their kids into being good…

 

 

JUDGE DREDD CASE FILES 1:
THE MEGA-CITY 5000 (progs 40-41)

 

Judge Dredd does Death Race!

Largely unexceptional (and little odd in Mega-City One itself – more Mad Max than Judge Dredd) but for two things.

It was the first appearance of Brian Bolland’s art in the Judge Dredd comic – and it introduced “Spikes” Harvey Rotten, albeit very different in appearance than we saw him next in The Cursed Earth (although I understand that might have been due to an accidental art mix-up between him and another character in the Mega-City 5000).

 

 

JUDGE DREDD CASE FILES 1:
LUNA 1 (progs 42-58)

 

“By order of the Triumvirate, you are hereby appointed to the office of Judge-Marshall of Luna1, the United Cities of North America Colony on the Moon. You are instructed to seek immediate passage on the first available lunar shuttle”.

And so begins Luna-1, another Judge Dredd ‘mini-epic’ or longer story arc – the second after The Robot Wars and just prior to the first true (and classic) Dredd epics, The Cursed Earth and The Day the Law Died. Longer than the Robot Wars (at 17 episodes), but like The Robot Wars before it, it was formative of subsequent Dredd epics. Indeed, the two of them respectively set up the essential Judge Dredd epic plotlines – Dredd confronting some threat, usually existential, to Mega-City One, and Dredd venturing to some other, usually exotic, location (or a combination of the two). However, it is more episodic than The Robot Wars – essentially Dredd in his judicial duties on the moon. I also like it more than The Robot Wars – it has more of the feel of the subsequent epics and introduces some important elements in Dredd’s world, namely the other two American mega-cities (Mega-City 2 on the West Coast and Tex-City in Texas) as well as the jointly administered American lunar colony, the latter essentially recast as a space Western setting.

The highlight for me was the introduction of the Soviet or Sov Judges, the most persistent recurring antagonists of Mega-City One. The introduction of the Sov Judges – and their main epic The Apocalypse War – was written prior to the fall of the Soviet Union. Subsequent storylines seem to redress this as some sort of neo-Soviet revival, perhaps as part or a result of the Atomic Wars

The Sov Judges are also the most effective recurring adversaries of Mega-City One (and that’s in a universe with such omnicidal maniacs as Judge Death and the Dark Judges), as they wiped out half the city in the Apocalypse War and almost the other half in the Day of Chaos. All that comes later (much later for the Day of Chaos) – for now, we are just introduced to the Sov Judges. And what an introduction – with classic art by Brian Bolland, one of my favorite Judge Dredd artists, particularly in this classic image.

I always loved the look of the Sov Judges, with all their Soviet paraphernalia of which Stalin himself would be proud – they just look so damn cool! Indeed, there are times when I think they look cooler than their American Mega-City One counterparts.

 

 

 

JUDGE DREDD CASE FILES 1:
THE FIRST LUNA OLYMPICS / LUNA-1 WAR (progs 50-51)
Luna-1 (prog 42)
Showdown on Luna-1 (prog 43)
Red Christmas (prog 44)
22nd Century Futsie (prog 45)
Meet Mr Moonie (prog 46)
Land Race (prog 47)
The Oxygen Desert (prog 48-49)

 

I will never tire of this image – so here it is again in color as Brian Bolland’s cover art for the Eagle comics Judge Dredd reprint issue 2.

As I said, the Sov Judges were introduced in the Luna-1 mini-epic – specifically in the two episodes The First Luna Olympics and Luna-1 War in progs 50-51. It is not surprising that the Sov Judges were introduced as the antagonists of the American Judges, reflecting their contemporary Cold War antagonism at the time of the episodes in 1978. And it’s also not surprising that we were introduced to the conflict between the Sov Judges and the American Judges in the arena of the Olympic Games, again reflecting one of their arenas of Cold War rivalry. Of course, in the twenty-second century, the big difference in their Cold War rivalry – apart from there already have been the global Atomic Wars – is that the Olympics are on the moon.

Although in fairness, as the title says, it’s the first lunar Olympics. What hasn’t changed is the American-Soviet rivalry and mutual protests of cheating, although it’s interesting that competitors are allowed up to 20% bionic components (but no more – hence the protests). Of course, given the low-gravity, terrestrial records are easily broken – but one could only assume they’ll be keeping separate record books from now on.

Anyway, the cheating culminates in the assassination (by an assassin in the stands) of the Soviet star sprinter (worse in the deciding event to break the medal count tie between the Americans and the Soviets). Sov Judge Kolb goes to execute the assassin and Dredd intervenes because apparently Mega-City One’s Justice Department rejects the death penalty (which would become more of a loose guideline in subsequent episodes), killing Kolb. And as the other Sov Judge – Sov-Judge Cosmovich – tells Dredd, this means war!

Except not really – or not as we know it. In their introduction here, war was somewhat more ritualized between the American and Soviet mega-cities, at least in their lunar colonies – effectively as a death-sport, somewhat like Roller-ball. Back on earth in subsequent episodes, however, the Sovs proved to be recurring adversaries of Mega-City One – and looming as a threat of actual war. Guess those were just moon rules?

Anyway, Dredd wins of course, so the Americans don’t have to give up any lunar territory – which were the “stakes”.

As for the other episodes:
• Luna-1 in prog 42 gave Dredd his marching orders – or spaceflight orders – apponting him as Judge-Marshall of Luna-1 and of course Walter stowed away in his luggage. The position of Judge-Marshall proves to be a hot seat – as Dredd is targeted by repeated assassination attempts, which brings us to…
• Showdown on Luna in prog 43, where Dredd has the classic Western showdown with a gunslinging robot, showcasing Luna-1 as a space Western setting, with the lunar frontier essentially the new Wild West for the American mega-cities
• Red Christmas in prog 44 sees Dredd celebrate Christmas 2099 on the moon – the red is yet another assassination attempt by means of holding Walter hostage
• 22nd Century Futsie in prog 45 not only sees in the titular 22nd century on New Year – but also introduced ‘futsies’, an occasional recurring feature in Mega-City One in which citizens run amok or go crazy from ‘future shock’, a term (and book title) coined by Alvin Toffler
• Meet Mr Moonie in prog 46 sees Dredd go after the source of assassination attempts on him – the reclusive billionaire (trillionaire?) owner of the moon
• Land Race in prog 47 sees the titular race for staking claims to lunar land

The Oxygen Desert in progs 48-49 sees Dredd stranded in the titular desert – i.e the lunar surface outside the pressurized atmosphere domes – but survives, only to feign resignation to lure in the outlaw stranding him there

 

 

JUDGE DREDD CASE FILES 1:
THE FACE CHANGE CRIMES (prog 52)

 

We’ve already seen face-changing machines in the earliest episodes, as well as Brian Bolland’s art in this epic (in Land Race and The First Luna Olympics / Luna-1 War), but here they come together – showcasing Bolland’s skill in portraiture.

In particular – Stan / Stanley Laurel and Ollie / Oliver Hardy, along with Charlie Chaplin. And that pretty much tells you the premise – a criminal gang uses face changes to disguise themselves for a heist (a good old-fashioned bank hold up with guns). To be honest, I admire their creativity – and the commitment to the bit, since they call each other by the names to their faces. Of course, one drawback is that those faces are distinctive, although perhaps less so in the twenty-second century – triggering Dredd’s recognition of their faces as “twentieth century comedians”. That might have been an asset – since they change their faces again to escape under the guise of hostages…except they change their faces to the Marx Brothers. (Well, three of them anyway, but the most famous of the three). However, that does allow us to see more portraiture in Bolland’s art…

 

 

JUDGE DREDD CASE FILES 1
THE FACE CHANGE CRIMES (prog 52)

 

I just couldn’t resist some more of Brian Bolland’s skilled portraiture – this time of the face-change gang as the Marx Brothers, specifically Groucho, Harpo and Chico (let’s face it, the big three – no one remembers Zeppo or Gummo).

Although, is there any reason they are quoting the title of A Night at the Opera, or “Harpo” is so committed to the bit that he’s honking a horn rather than speaking (part of the real Harpo’s signature act)- while no one is around?! Unless you count the two ambulance officers they took captive upon hijacking the ambulance for their getaway, even if they don’t look like they’re in a position to observe it? Certainly not the guy on the floor. (I hope they released them later unharmed).

But wait – there’s more! There’s quite the surprising depth to an episode which basically looks designed for the simple gimmick of a criminal gang using face change machines to impersonate twentieth century comedians for their heists, a gimmick tailor-made for Brian Bolland’s art. Dredd does the easy thing – tracking down the purchase of face change machines through the only company on Luna-1 that sold them. What’s not so easy is all he has the law enforcement technique of profiling the usual suspects – in this case, the Tooley brothers – without any further evidence. “The trouble is…proving they robbed the bank!”

I think this is the first time that we are confronted with the apparent anomaly of an authoritarian or even fascist police state abiding by the niceties of legality. I mean, isn’t Dredd a fascist? Why doesn’t he just arrest the Tooley brothers, evidence or no evidence? This may be the first time this anomaly comes up in the comic but it won’t be the last – it’s a recurring feature, which arguably goes to the very heart of the comic and character of Judge Dredd.

Setting aside that fascism can be lawless and it can be lawful, I’m not sure there’s any clear or easy answers to the question of whether Judge Dredd or Justice Department is fascist (or whether Mega-City One is a fascist state) – or perhaps questions, since while they overlap, they seem to me somewhat separate considerations.

Both Judge Dredd and Justice Department are undoubtedly authoritarian – and I think it would also be inarguable that they have fascist elements, indeed from the outset in their design. An interesting opinion piece featured this as its theme in its very title – “Fascist Spain meets British punk: The subversive genius of Judge Dredd”. That piece attributed the “design emphasis on fascist chic” to Spanish artist Carlos Ezquerra, as something of a tribute to the artist who has passed away.

Quick side bar – I particularly liked how the piece echoed Chris Sims on how Judge Dredd’s ‘costume’ is ridiculously over the top – “Dredd looks like no other comic character before or since. His design makes no practical sense. It has no symmetry or logic to it. No one at the time thought it would work. “F*cking hell,” his co-creator John Wagner said when he first saw the designs. “He looks like a Spanish pirate.” But somehow, for reasons no one can quite articulate, it is perfect”.

Back to the point, I think part of the (probably irreconcilable) tension of whether Judge Dredd is fascist or not derives from the two competing strands that I see have been combined in the core concept of Dredd – a futuristic Dirty Harry in a dystopian post-apocalyptic SF satire. On the one hand, you have the dramatic tension of a Dirty Harry obstructed in his instinct for justice by what he perceives to be the loopholes, red tape or technicalities of due process or the legal system. On the other, you have that dystopian SF satire of an authoritarian state, the whole point of which is that it has purportedly dispensed with all those obstructions for a system of instant summary law enforcement. In short, as the agent of a police state, Judge Dredd should not have the hassles of a Dirty Harry with due process – but he does because that’s part of his core concept as a character.

Here the pesky need for evidence is compounded by the gang having a defence lawyer – and being able to call off their interrogation until they see him. However, Dredd was able to use their own game against them – using the lunar Justice Central face change machine, he impersonates their lawyer and records them while they freely confess to the crime (although that presumably must have involved detaining their lawyer without charge so that Dredd could substitute for them – and I’m not sure how their confessions would hold up as evidence, at least in contemporary law, when it was recorded by subterfuge of impersonating their lawyer).

 

 

JUDGE DREDD CASE FILES 1:
THE OXYGEN BOARD (prog 57)
The Killer Car (prog 53-56)

 

“A smart man can beat the law, but, baby, only a fool bucks the oxygen board!”

That’s pretty much the twist in the tale for this episode – as the criminals of the biggest heist (and disaster) in Luna history forgot to pay their oxygen bill and get their just desserts (by suffocation)

Bonus irony as the gang essentially used the same means of oxygen delivery to the lunar colony – the pipelines from the astro-tankers pumping it in – as the means for their colony-wide heist, adding tranquilizer gas to ‘roofie’ the whole colony. Disappointingly, the writers forfeited the opportunity to call them the tranq gang, going with the tranq gas raiders instead.

It’s not exactly like the colony taking a nap either – there are thousands of casualties, the effects of vehicle and other machine accidents that result from the entire colony being unconscious at the same time. Well, not the entire colony – the Judges have their respirators. And all the robots are still running – with the Judges activating their emergency protocols for assistance. Still – the death toll is stated to be 53,000, and over half a million injured…which might mean more if I actually knew what the population of the lunar colony was. (Looking it up, the Judge Dredd role-playing game apparently had the lunar colony with a population of 25 million in the middle of the twenty-first century…which is a little hard to imagine as at 2023).

And they would have got away with it too if it wasn’t for that meddling Oxygen Board, apparently a government monopoly with an extreme form of robodebt recovery – robots cutting off the oxygen of (and indeed vacuuming it from) customers with overdue bills, suffocating them. Despite having robots and video calls for the debt recovery, there appears to be no remote means of payment (instead requiring personal attendance at an oxygen board showroom) or electronic door key lock (as the gang dropped their key in their loot and can’t find it before suffocating).

As for The Killer Car in progs 53-56, essentially it replays rogue robot Call-Me-Kenneth from the Robot Wars on the moon but with a robotic car (called Elvis).

 

 

JUDGE DREDD CASE FILES 1:
RETURN TO MEGA-CITY ONE (Prog 59)
Full Earth Crimes (prog 58)
Firebug (prog 60)

 

Classic Judge Dredd – poster boy for the Lawful Neutral alignment.

Prog 59 sees Dredd return to Mega-City One from Luna, in one of the best characteristic (and comic) illustrations of the Judge himself – just how legalistic he can be towards the Law, the perfect embodiment of the Lawful Neutral alignment. It opens beautifully with Mega-City One citizens looking on in amazement and bemusement as Dredd nonchalantly strolls past a robbery in progress, stopping only to cheerfully admonish the robbers – “Good morning, citizens. I would remind you that armed robbery is illegal in Mega-City 1”. But then, he just continues strolling – doing none of head-kicking things we’ve come to expect in his approach to law enforcement. What is going on? The robbers themselves thank their good luck and continue with the robbery, speculating that Dredd must have gone “moon crazy”. He walks past yet another crime – until a rookie Judge arrives with Dredd’s reinstatement papers, allowing him to be sworn back in as a Judge of Mega-City. He immediately takes the rookie Judge’s bike to go back to the scenes of the crimes to kick some heads for the Law – “Look out, you lawbreaking scum! Judge Dredd’s back in town!”.

Of course, the answer to his previous inactivity lies in that he wasn’t officially sworn (back) in as a Judge – “it’s illegal for an ordinary citizen to take the law into his own hands”.

Before returning to Mega-City One, we had Dredd’s final episode on the moon – Full Earth Crimes in prog 58, transferring the gimmick (and myth) of increased criminal activity and insanity with a full moon to the effect of a ‘full earth’ on Luna-1.

And after his return, we have the last regular Judge Dredd episode in Case Files 1, Firebug, in prog 60, featuring a serial arsonist of city blocks.

 

 

JUDGE DREDD CASE FILES 1
BONUS MATERIAL – UNPUBLISHED JUDGE DREDD PILOT EPISODE
Walter the Wobot (progs 50-58)

 

“I am the Law and you better believe it!”

As much as I like the final panel of this unpublished first episode, I’m glad they tided up his catchphrase!

But wait – there’s more!

Well, not much more, but still there’s some bonus material in Case Files 1 beyond the regular Judge Dredd episodes.

Walter the Wobot got his own spinoff strips, Walter the Wobot Fwiend of Dwedd. Yeah, they really leant into his robotic lisp in that title. The strips themselves were light-hearted comedy, because you can’t take Walter seriously (even though he saved Dredd multiple times in the comic – notably in the Robot Wars which introduced him, in The Day the Law Died, and in the Apocalypse War). The strips were okay, I guess – and some of them were illustrated by Brian Bolland so there’s that.

The other bonus material was the previously unseen first episode of Dredd, drawn by Carlos Ezquerra, as much an influence in the creation of Dredd as writers Pat Mills and John Wagner. I anticipate it was drawn for the first issue of 2000 AD but simply wasn’t written in time (or revised) so another episode featured as Dredd’s first episode in the second issue of 2000 AD. (You following along? You may recall that although Judge Dredd was 2000 AD’s flagship character, he didn’t actually make it into their first issue and only started in their second issue).

According to the editorial in Case Files 1, the story was printed in it to showcase the original art – distinctively featuring Dredd as judge, jury, AND executioner, which was somewhat different to how he was introduced. As we see later, Mega-City One Judges usually don’t sentence people to execution, although there are exceptions (and they often kill people who resist arrest or attempt to escape).

This unpublished pilot episode did showcase some of the different types of ammunition used by the Judges (ricochet and heat-seeking), as well as Dredd’s Lawmaster – although it also featured regular police units separate from the Judges, something that occasionally popped up elsewhere in the early episodes until it was quietly dropped. It is amusing to think of the Judges as some sort of special elite force that also announces and executes (literally) their sentences at the same time. (Keen eyes might notice the “police cam” in this panel).

 

 

 

 

 

Mega-City Law: Top 10 Reasons Why Judge Dredd is the Galaxy’s Greatest Comic

 

My first and true love in comics is not one of the ruling duopoly of DC and Marvel Comics, nor strictly speaking a superhero comic – although its main character is arguably as much of a ‘superhero’ as Batman – nor even an American comic, although it is set there, albeit drastically transformed in the twenty-second century.

It is Judge Dredd, the most iconic character from the British weekly SF anthology comic, 2000 AD, ongoing since it was launched in 1977 – although ironically from its second issue, as the opening Dredd story was not ready for the first issue. Time has passed in the Dredd strip essentially in real time ever since, so a year passes in the comic for each year in real life – the first Dredd story in 1977 was set in 2099 and the present stories in 2023 are set in 2145 (an interesting feature as distinct from the more elastic timelines of many American comic franchises).

Unfortunately, American audiences remain somewhat unfamiliar with or unresponsive to Judge Dredd, despite his American setting and despite that he is effectively a quintessential American hero in the same vein as Batman – relying on superior discipline, training, experience, equipment and resources, except as a governmental law officer rather than a vigilante billionaire. They even both effectively remain masked in their public identities, as Dredd never removes his helmet. This is despite his iconic status, particularly in Britain, and despite American audiences being familiar with many of the alumni of 2000 AD, as virtually every British writer and artist of note working in American comics started there and indeed often with the Judge Dredd storyline itself.

Even more unfortunately, the most substantial introduction of American audiences to Judge Dredd was the 1995 film, although fortunately that particular horror is fading with time. This Hollywood travesty was particularly inexcusable, because the essence of Judge Dredd is ultimately very simple – Judge Dredd is a futuristic Dirty Harry in a dystopian (and post-apocalyptic) SF satire. How hard is that, Hollywood?! On second thoughts, that was probably too much to handle – when they couldn’t even have Dredd keep his helmet on throughout the film.

The more recent 2012 film was much more effective in capturing the elements of the original comic (not least in keeping Dredd’s helmet on throughout the film), but not as effective in capturing an audience. In its own way, this is as unfortunate as the first film, particularly at a time when comic book movies were in such vogue (and dystopian or post-apocalyptic movies have always been popular) – because if ever a comic deserved its own cinematic or screen adaptation, it’s Dredd, especially when you consider the dreck that does get adaptations. Perhaps a television adaptation would have been better, as it suits the more episodic nature as well as longer arcs of the storyline. Whatever the case, here are my ten reasons why Judge Dredd is the galaxy’s greatest comic – and why it deserves its own cinematic or screen universe.

 

 

 

 

(1) APOCALYPSE WOW!

 

Judge Dredd is a futuristic Dirty Harry in a dystopian and post-apocalyptic SF satire

And I do mean post-apocalyptic – although the world of Judge Dredd is more accurately post-post-apocalyptic (and so on, with additional prefixes) because recurring apocalypses are a feature of that world. After all, it’s hard to get more apocalyptic than an event called the Apocalypse War…

However, Judge Dredd is more than just dystopian or post-apocalyptic, it is dystopian or post-apocalyptic satire – in that it plays with virtually every dystopian or post-apocalyptic trope, mostly with tongue in cheek for black comedy.

Of course, there are the standard earth-shattering tropes. The apocalyptic event that definitively shaped the world of Judge Dredd was the so-called Atomic Wars of 2070, perhaps not surprisingly for the comic’s origins in the heightened Cold War tension of the 1970s and 1980s. Interestingly, reflecting more recent times, the apocalyptic weapons of choice moved from nuclear war to biological terrorism – what the Apocalypse War started, the Chaos Bug all but finished.

However, at least at the outset, the world of Judge Dredd was curiously one of the most populous post-apocalyptic settings, due to the huge conurbations or mega-cities with populations in the tens or hundreds of millions that survived the Atomic Wars because of their missile defense systems. Of course, most of the world outside those cities was laid waste, although some hardy (and mostly mutant) inhabitants live even in these radioactive badlands. The United States essentially separated into its three surviving mega-cities, on each of its coasts around the former heartland of the country, now the Cursed Earth. Judge Dredd’s home city is Mega-City 1 on the coastline of the toxic Black Atlantic, a megalopolis seemingly based on a New York that merged with other cities and swallowed up the Atlantic seaboard from Canada to Florida. It was matched by Mega-City 2 on the West Coast and Texas City on the Gulf.

And so you have a world that is both post-apocalyptic and overcrowded, with the world’s population crammed into mega-cities that are themselves socioeconomic dystopias within the larger global and environmental dystopia. In its glory days, Mega-City One consisted of 800 million people, housed in city blocks that resemble vertical towns of 50,000 people or more. This overcrowded city would be dystopian enough in the best economic climate, but Mega-City 1 has an unemployment rate that is variously cited but is at least 90% due to automation and robots.

The overwhelming majority of the population of Mega-City 1 therefore live in welfare dependency, prone to crime and violence out of sheer boredom and breakdown – crime and violence which is further compounded by the capabilities of future technology. In short, few things are more dangerous to the citizens of Mega-City 1 than themselves.

All this has resulted in political dystopia – the authoritarian police state of the Judges, a system of government that has almost universally spread across the world (at least to the extent that we can see it). In Mega-City 1, the Department of Justice combines all branches of government, as well as the police and judiciary or in that popular phrase – judge, jury and executioner (although Mega-City justice generally does not involve the death penalty). Summary justice? Try instant justice – as they deliver their sentences at the time of arrest. The perfect symbol of this political dystopia was the Statue of Justice towering over the Statue of Liberty.

However, the most important part of all this dystopian satire is the satire or black comedy.

“What do Judge Dredd, Mad Max and Adventure Time all have in common? They’re three of the best post-apocalyptic narratives we’ve ever seen. And they’re all slightly ludicrous, ranging from outright surrealism to mad social satire. In fact, the best post-apocalyptic storytelling is usually kind of ridiculous”.

So whatever your apocalypse or dystopia, Judge Dredd has it for you – and in just the right flavor of black comedy and satire.

 

 

 

 

(2) SCI-FI FANTASY KITCHEN SINK

 

At its core, Judge Dredd may be dystopian or post-apocalyptic satire, but it is even more so a playground of science fiction tropes and everything associated with them – playing with virtually every signature trope (as well as a substantial number of works) of science fiction. If it’s a trope of science fiction, Judge Dredd either has played or can play with it, particularly given the storyline’s episodic nature and anthology of writers (and artists).

Aliens – that definitive trope (or collection of tropes) of SF ever since they invaded Earth from Mars in H.G. Well’s War of the Worlds? They are regular through routine space travel in Judge Dredd and even ghetto (or zoo) residents in Mega-City or elsewhere. Some of them are hostile and dangerous to humans, while others are more friendly to humans (even where humans are hostile and dangerous to them).

Of course, there’s also robots, the reason for 90% unemployment in Mega-City One (and quite frankly, better potential citizens than the human residents, although robots are not legally citizens).

Clones? Judge Dredd IS a clone (along with some other Judges).

Mutants? A substantial part of the world’s population (and probably the majority of its animal population) is mutated from the radioactive wastelands.

Time travel? Both to the future and past, although not too regularly for either as it has only recently been engineered and the Judges are wary of temporal effects or paradox. Interdimensional travel on the other hand is more common.

And there’s still more exotic tropes. Apes genetically engineered for greater intelligence? They’re resident in the appropriately named Apetown ghetto within Mega-City. Dinosaurs recreated through genetic engineering? They roam the Cursed Earth after the Atomic Wars let them loose from Dinosaur National Park – well before Jurassic Park!

Indeed, Judge Dredd goes well beyond SF tropes into fantasy kitchen sink territory. Although it remains predominantly science fiction and tends to rationalize its fantasy, it does venture into many fantasy and magic tropes, because why not? It’s fun and it keeps its fantasy tongue firmly in its science fiction cheek (or is that the other way round?). A major source of its fantasy tropes are its Psi-Judges, albeit with psi short for the characteristic ‘scientific’ terminology of psionics (not psychic – that’s just for New Age hippies!), but Judge Dredd has quite happily featured actual magic, demons, vampires, werewolves and zombies in outright fantasy terms or at most a bare veneer of SF. So for all those who enjoy their fantasy or SF tropes, the world of Judge Dredd has something in it for everyone…

 

 

 

 

(3) REAL WORLD SATIRE

(OR HOW I LEARNED TO STOP WORRYING AND LOVE THE SEX OLYMPICS)

 

Despite being futuristic and post-apocalyptic, the satire in Judge Dredd is firmly grounded in the trends of our present world.

Firstly, it originated (and to a large extent still continues) as a British satire of American culture and society, or in the words of Adi Shankar, a satire by “an anti-establishment British comic about post-apocalyptic America”. After all, 2000 AD has its American tongue firmly in its British cheek when it depicted the American Judges in uniforms resembling fetishist motorcycle leathers (inspired by Death Race 2000 – and uncannily similar to the post-apocalyptic fashion of Mad Max). They are also emblazoned with American iconography, notably the American flag and eagle, that is distinctly over the top – not least their eagle shoulder-pads, which while visually awesome are functionally impractical.

There’s more tongue in cheek as Mega-City Judges ride computerized and heavily armed motorcycles, naturally enough designated as Lawmasters, and dispense justice with their multiple-choice ammunition guns termed Lawgivers. (Although eerily life imitated art in 1980’s Reaganesque America, with a nuclear missile design named Peacekeepers).

However, Judge Dredd extends to far more general satire – in a society “where every single thing has become monstrously overwhelming”, not least in the bizarre fashions and fads of Mega-City citizens. Those occasionally bubble up into destructive consumer fads, for what must be the overworked consumer protection division of Justice Department.

Of course, Mega-City citizens have a lot of time on their hands with their 90% unemployment rate – which leads to bizarre job vacancies as human mannequins or ‘furniture’ for the rich elite and job riots prompted by the advertisement of those few vacancies. Although a lot of that time must be spent in grappling with the law, either in direct criminal activity (one of the few sources of gainful employment or at least occupation) or in just coping with the sheer volume of draconian laws in Mega-City. For example, sugar is prohibited as illegal addictive substances – with dealing in sugar as an obvious comics-friendly substitute for cocaine. Got some of that sweet stuff?

Obesity? In Judge Dredd, the so-called ‘Fatties’ take it to extremes of belly-wheels, competitive eating and literal tonnage. Speaking of strange competitive sports, the twenty-second Olympic Games are full of them, not least with actual sex as competitive event. Of course, that’s not just your average sex, that’s Olympic sex – highly trained and skilled performance akin to figure-skating. And frankly, I’m a proponent for sex Olympics in the present…

 

 

 

(4) FUTURISTIC DIRTY HARRY

(OR DO YOU FEEL LUCKY, PUNK?)

 

Judge Dredd is a futuristic Dirty Harry. What’s not to love about that?

Dystopian, post-apocalyptic SF satire might be the foundation of (and set much of the tone for) the storyline of Judge Dredd, but Dredd himself as futuristic Dirty Harry is the core of the story, and certainly for the action in it.

The origins of the character as Dirty Harry ‘tough cop’ are not too surprising, given that it coincided with the period of the Dirty Harry movies from 1971 to 1988 (the comic itself starting between the third and fourth movies, The Enforcer and Sudden Impact) – Dirty Harry of course being San Francisco Police Department detective Harry Callahan played by Clint Eastwood.

Dredd himself is stylistically and visually reminiscent of Clint Eastwood as Dirty Harry – the height (and the lanky frame, particularly in the original art – although other artists have added the characteristic musculature of heroes in comics), the stoic expression (with the helmet visor substituting for Eastwood’s squint), the laconic wit and the whispered menace (at least as far as one can tell from his minimalist mouth movements). Anyone who doubts the dominant influence of Dirty Harry need look no further than the name of the city block where Dredd resided (that is, slept between street patrols) as ‘block judge’. The names of the city blocks are generally derived from the twentieth century and typically have some humorous, narrative or thematic significance, subtle or otherwise – Dredd’s block is Rowdy Yates, the name of Clint Eastwood’s character in the TV western series Rawhide.

Even Dirty Harry’s catchphrase term for criminals, punk (as in “Do you feel lucky, punk? Well, do you?) is adapted by Dredd. Judge Dredd typically calls perps (or perpetrators) “creep”. For that matter, the visual style of the Mega-City population, and particularly its criminal underclass, tends towards punk – or in the term of TV Tropes, the apunkalypse. Above all, Dredd shares the predominant character theme of Dirty Harry as driven by duty and an instinct for justice. For Dirty Harry, that instinct for justice tends to come up against those pesky legal rights and technicalities (“I have a right to a lawyer!” his adversary Scorpio smarmily declares in the first movie), whereas for Dredd, it is embodied by the Law and himself as agent of the Law, hence his catchphrase identification with it. (Of course, there’s arguments against operating on an ‘instinct’ for justice, not least that while such an instinct may be readily vindicated in a fictional narrative, it is less so in real life).

However, it’s not just Judge Dredd who is a futuristic Dirty Harry, but also Justice Department itself and all the Judges. They all operate as police, judge, jury and executioner, passing sentence when arresting (“assaulting a Judge – two years”) – although the death sentence is exceptional in Mega-City and the sentence is usually a term in the cubes (isolation cubes or iso-cubes). Of course, very few of them are as competent as Dredd – and quite a few are downright incompetent or ineffectual. Even worse, some of them are corrupt (Dredd’s own clone-twin Rico for one) or operate more like the Magnum Force in the second Dirty Harry movie of that name, renegade cops outside the law.

Whatever the case, Judge Dredd has the potential not only for black comedy and satire, but also shares the same scope as Dirty Harry for action, drama and morality play.

 

 

 

 

(5) MORAL COMPLEXITY

(OR JUDGE DREDD DIED FOR YOUR SINS)

 

Okay, so it might be something of an overstatement that Judge Dredd died for your sins. For one thing, it would be your crimes, as Dredd is quite happy to leave your sins as something between you and Grud (the publishing-friendly term for God in Mega-City). For another, Dredd hasn’t died – yet. He is in his eighties or so, although with an extended lifespan from advanced rejuvenation technology, that is roughly equivalent to a present-day male in their forties. (For Judge Dredd, eighty is the new forty!). However, he is getting on, although fortunately Mega-City has at least one younger clone replacement in waiting.

Ironically however, for a series in which Dredd and his fellow Judges were intended as a dystopian satire of the worst excesses of police and governmental authority fused together into a post-apocalyptic police state, it is notable for its moral complexity (not unlike its thematic predecessor, the Dirty Harry film series).

TV Tropes states it best:

“By his very nature and purpose, anti-hero Dredd is firmly committed to his organization’s authoritarian, brutal, and ruthless methods of law enforcement, but it’s established that Mega City One would collapse without him and his fellow Judges, and more than once has. Though Dredd is impeccably honest and honorable, despises corruption, does not discriminate, goes out of his way to save innocents…and has been given cause to question his purpose more than once, he is an unapologetic authoritarian. In this setting, democracy within his society has been shown to be simply unworkable”.

This thread of moral complexity was present from the very outset. Compounding the irony, Dredd co-creator Pat Mills, perhaps best known for his anti-authoritarian themes, wrote Dredd – the ultimate authority figure – as an unambiguously heroic character. This thread of moral complexity has deepened over time, as these intended figures of authoritarian satire have earned their writers’ respect as potentially heroic characters. This thread was most evident in the recurring Democracy storyline, as Judge Dredd acceded to democracy activists and put the Judges to the vote of the populace in a referendum whether to retain the Judges as the government of Mega-City. Characteristically, most of the population couldn’t be bothered voting, but of those that did, the majority voted to retain the Judges.

This moral complexity is also apparent in the heroic self-sacrifice of the ideal Judges, such as Dredd, sworn to uphold the law and protect Mega-City. Dredd himself has consistently accepted the potential sacrifice of his own life to protect the citizens or even a citizen of Mega-City One (and even the residents of the Cursed Earth or anyone looking to the protection of the Law). The life of a Mega-City Judge is somewhat monastic, even deliberately Spartan. After years of training, their duty is entirely to uphold the Law, enduring constant danger of death, typically without personal relationships, certainly without personal riches or reward or even retirement – as the practice of Judges is to retire from active duty with the Long Walk, a quintessentially American Western image of leaving Mega-City and roaming the Cursed Earth, to bring law to the lawless.

Often Dredd is characterized as a fascist, with some – dare I say it? – justice (and indeed dangerous tendencies in that direction), but ultimately I would argue that he is not a fascist (and Mega-City One is not totalitarian) in the strictest sense. Dredd and his Mega-City One are undeniably authoritarian – part of a police state that is almost casually brutal and draconian in its enforcement of law – but Dredd would seem to be a little too legalistic to be a true fascist and lacking the definitive characteristics of historical fascism.

 

 

 

 

(6) The GOOD, THE BAD AND THE UGLY – AND THE WEIRD!

 

One of my favorite parts (and arguably the definitive part) of fantasy or SF is the world-building, particularly if it is our world, radically transformed. Judge Dredd’s world of the twenty-second century certainly whets one’s world-building appetite in just the right way- teasing details and visual depictions of it as the story unfolds. For the most part, the storyline of Judge Dredd is predominantly set in Mega-City One itself, which at its height was an extensive setting indeed, a megalopolis of 800 million people sprawling along the Atlantic coast from Canada to Florida – although the storyline would often extend to the former territory of the United States beyond Mega-City One, typically picaresque adventures in the badlands of the Cursed Earth. Every so often however, the Judge Dredd storyline (usually in the person of Judge Dredd himself) would visit (or be visited by) other parts of the world.

Of course, the writers would use these forays as an opportunity for visual showcases of the Judges of the other mega-cities – as all the major mega-cities seen are governed or policed by a Judge system, which resembles that of Mega-City One, even down to the design of the uniform. Unfortunately, the depiction of foreign judges has been criticized for relying too much on cliché or stereotype – and there is substance to this criticism, as the writers tended to display the characteristic cultural sensibilities of the 1970s to 1990s – but I think it is missing the point in two respects. Firstly, it ignores how much the American Mega-City judges themselves are stereotypes, down to their uniforms as virtually walking American eagles and flags. Secondly, if one is to be a stereotype, one could hardly do better than the glorious stereotypes of the judges of other mega-cities, who tend to be visually awesome and often more striking (or indeed better characters) than the American Judges.

And so here is a gallery of the world of Judge Dredd, which can be divided up into the good, the bad, the ugly and the weird.

THE GOOD

The good are those mega-cities that typically have the affinities or sympathies of the writers and hence tend to be the ‘good guys’ of the comic, or indeed, among the more livable cities of the post-apocalyptic world to our present sensibilities.

Obviously, given their position in the narrative, the American mega-cities are the primary ‘good guys’, particularly the city of our protagonist Judge Dredd, Mega-City One. And although it is an authoritarian police state under the Judges, one has to admit that in comparison to other mega-cities, it allows more freedom, security and lifestyle for its citizens and would seem one of the better cities to live in the post-apocalyptic world – but for the recurring apocalypses the writers inflict upon it (which saw it literally halved in The Apocalypse War and decimated in Chaos Day).

Mega-City Two was the West Coast counterpart of Mega-City One and otherwise indistinguishable from Mega-City One, which was probably why the writers decided it had to go – with the entire city destroyed in the Judgement Day storyline, although at least it went out with a bang in a worldwide zombie apocalypse.

Texas City on the Gulf Coast seems to be sufficiently distinguished from Mega-City One to have survived the wrath of the writers – particularly by its overblown stereotypical Wild West iconography for the city and its Judges. The uniform of Texas-City Judges resembles the uniform of Mega-City One Judges, but with substituted cowboy imagery – hats (and Sheriff stars) instead of helmets and the Lone Star instead of the American flag.

Of course, the British writers of Judge Dredd depict their own Brit-Cit amongst the good mega-cities – indeed, the closest ally and associate of Mega-City One. Brit-Cit Judges resemble the Mega-City One Judges, but with the lion and Union Jack instead of the eagle and American flag.

Interestingly, the writers also tend to depict the Japanese Judges of Hondo City favorably – which I attribute to the influence of Japanese popular culture on British comics writers and Japan’s economic predominance in the 1970s and 1980s.

And of course, the British writers can’t deny their love of Australia. Postwar Australia or Oz, dominated by the Sydney-Melbourne Conurb (bordering the central Radback) would seem to be by far and away the most free, laidback and pleasant place to live in the twenty-second century. The Oz judges have uniforms which seem to combine the Mega-City Judges uniforms with attributes of the present Australian police uniform – but with shorts for those Oz summers…

Speaking of laidback, there are also the Irish Judges, which at least has the excuse for its stereotypical nature in that it is actually one gigantic Brit-Cit corporate Irish theme park.

Interestingly, Africa seems to lack any major mega-city outside Egypt (which is ironic as Africa is increasingly set to have most of the world’s mega-cities by the actual twenty-second century), but the continent-roving Pan-African Judges are pretty impressive.

THE BAD

The Big Bad of Judge Dredd’s world are the Sovs, not surprisingly for comics originating in the last peak of the Cold War in the 1970s and 1980s. The two major Sov cities were East-Meg One and East-Meg Two – East-Meg One launched the Apocalypse War against Mega-City One (and was obliterated as a result), while East Meg-Two attempted to pursue more friendly relations with the American cities – but unfortunately renegade Sovs from East-Meg One unleashed the Chaos Bug in revenge for the Apocalypse War.

As much as one has to hate those Sov Judges, one has to admit that they make communism look cool with their uniforms.

The Chinese Sino-Cit Judges would seem to be somewhat similar to the Sov Judges, but have been somewhat elusive in the comic – although when we have seen them, they looked awesome, with dragon emblems in the place of the American eagles…

THE UGLY

And then you have the mega-cities that, although unpleasant, are too stereotypically corrupt or ineffectual to be villainous.

The Latin American mega-cities are probably the worst victims of cliché and stereotype – they and their Judges are typically cruel, corrupt and repressive, but lazy and incompetent to boot. Ciudad Banquarilla – or as it is more commonly known, Banana City – is typical in this respect and presumably resulted from the Brits not forgiving Argentina for the Falklands War. At least, the Judges look simply fabulous in their uniforms.

The Pan-Andean Conurb is arguably even worse. Although their Judges have a snazzy condor instead of the American eagle on their uniforms, the one time we saw them their reigning Chief Judge was a puppet of the illegal sugar cartels and Judge Dredd ended up arresting him and most of their judiciary.

Although the Egyptian mega-city of Luxor is equally a stereotype, seemingly a fusion of Islamic law and a revival of pharaonic Egypt, at least its Judges looked awesome, even if they were harsh. As their leading Judge retorts after blasting off the hand of a thief – “Be thankful sinner that I only took a hand!”

Interestingly, Vatican City is also a mega-city of some substance in Judge Dredd’s world, although its Judges – or Inquisitors – are distinctly unpleasant.

THE WEIRD

Finally, there is the outright weird in Dredd’s world – the mutated Weird West of the Cursed Earth, the various space colonies on the Moon as well as other planets in our solar system and the high weirdness of alien worlds in deep space…

 

 

 

 

(7) THERE ARE 800 MILLION STORIES IN THE MEGA-CITY

 

And then there is the diversity of characters, both in Mega-City One and outside it.

Of course, the comic is predominated by the title character, Judge Joseph “Joe” Dredd, but it’s striking how often he can be a background figure in his own comic and other characters feature more prominently, particularly in shorter story episodes. It is reminiscent of the tagline for the TV series The Naked City – “There are 8 million stories in the Naked City. This has been one of them”. Except of course, that there were initially 800 million stories in the Mega-City.

The focus tends to be on Dredd and his colleagues, the Judges of Mega-City One (although it might be noted that Dredd has family – his niece Vienna Dredd – with whom he has a strained but at times surprisingly touching relationship). It’s somewhat unsettling that I can remember the names of Mega-City Chief Judges better than I can for say, actual people – Fargo, Solomon, Goodman, Cal (Grud help us all), Griffin, McGruder, Silver, McGruder (again), Volt, Hershey, Francisco, Sinfeld, Hershey (again), Logan…

Mind you, the track record of Chief Judges is distinctly mixed at best.

Yet there are also memorable citizen characters – Supersurf champion Marlon Shakespeare or “Chopper”, Otto Sump (probably the largest single source of Mega-City’s most ill-advised consumer fads), Max Normal, Mrs Gunderson…

 

 

(8) A ROGUES GALLERY TO DIE FOR

 

Of course, a superhero is nothing without his supervillains – his nemeses, ideally a whole rogue’s gallery of them. Batman might be cool (because how is a billionaire vigilante who dresses up as a bat not cool?), but he wouldn’t quite be as cool without his rogue’s gallery of villains, as striking and theatrical as him.

Judge Dredd certainly fits this superhero rule, with a rogue’s gallery of villains to rival – or even surpass – that of Batman. Judge Dredd started off reasonably small (not unlike Batman), with the common criminals or ‘perps’ (for perpetrators) of Mega-City One, although his very first perp (in his debut episode in 2000 AD) ‘Whitey’ was a little more exceptional than most as a Judge-killer. To a large extent, as an (or THE) officer of law enforcement in Mega-City One, his primary antagonists continue to be common perps – and indeed Dredd has mused that it will be a lucky hit from one of these perps that will see him off.

But then in a world including aliens, mutants, robots, cyborgs and psi powers, Dredd’s antagonists can be highly dangerous or formidable – even the ‘common’ perps, with the future technology or bizarre social fashions of Mega-City, can be a handful, and terrorist organizations like Total War are downright terrifying . My favorite Dredd antagonists tend to be any alien or mutant incursion, particularly from the Cursed Earth – Satanus the Cursed Earth Tyrannosaurus Rex, the Gila Munja, the Black Plague, Father Earth…

Of course, most of Judge Dredd’s antagonists tend not to be recurring, as Dredd either kills them or sends them to the iso-cubes – unlike Batman, who just sends his antagonists to Arkham Asylum, where they stay until they feel like escaping. However, some of Dredd’s more popular (and my own favorite) villains are recurring. One is P.J. Maybe, Mega-City’s most successful psychopath and serial killer (although perhaps most of Mega-City’s population is psychopathic or sociopathic to some degree). The other is the notoriously violent Angel Gang, particularly in its surviving member of Mean Machine Angel. As a boy, he was good-natured and showed none of the family’s violent tendencies. Obviously the Angel Gang patriarch, Pa Angel, decided that this would simply not do, and arranged surgery to transform him into a murderous cyborg, with four ‘settings’ of rage literally dialled into his head – with his basic default setting merely as the lowest level of anger.

Ultimately however, the most dangerous adversaries in Judge Dredd are other Judges. The first epic adversary in Judge Dredd (and city-level threat) was Judge Cal, who succeeded to the position of Chief Judge in “The Day the Law Died”, essentially as a replay of Caligula in Mega-City One. Dredd’s most iconic recurring adversary – the Joker to his Batman (and similarly his evil counterpart) – is essentially an omnicidal figure of dark fantasy and supernatural power, Judge Death. He and his fellow Dark Judges (Mortis, Fear and Fire) – essentially Judge Dredd’s Four Horseman of the Apocalypse – come from a world in another dimension in which they killed the entire population – their reasoning being that since crime is only committed by the living, that life itself is the crime.

Although when you come right down to it, despite their supernatural power, the Dark Judges are simply not as effective villains as human Judges from our own world – the Sov Judges, who between the Apocalypse War and the Chaos Bug, almost wiped out Mega-City One. Of course, that’s what happens when, like the Dark Judges, you insist on killing everyone by hand – but then, justice is personal for the Dark Judges…

 

 

 

(9) DIVERSITY OF GENRE AND TONE

(OR HOW CHAOS DAY TORE MY HEART OUT)

 

As a sci-fi fantasy kitchen sink, Judge Dredd extends to a diverse range of genres, albeit obviously not pure or high fantasy – and admittedly not particularly hard SF either. Indeed it’s pretty soft on the Mohs scale of SF hardness, what with psi powers and outright fantasy elements – arguably it ranks near the lowest part of the scale, along with other typically comedic or comic greats such as Futurama, Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, the DC and Marvel Universes, Star Wars and Warhammer 40,000. Of course, it is not primarily science fiction or fantasy – it’s primarily a dystopian satire or black comedy in a science fiction setting.

That said, Judge Dredd does dip into a diverse range of genres, predominantly within science fiction but also within fantasy. As highlighted in this list, Judge Dredd predominantly falls within a post-apocalyptic or dystopian SF setting – but also at times has elements of cyberpunk (as well as other ‘punk’ subgenres), military science fiction, space opera (notably in its forays into deep space, such as the Judge Child Quest) and time travel or alternative history fiction amongst others. It remains too embedded in its future world setting to venture too far into fantasy, but even so at times has had elements of dark fantasy or horror (particularly in more ‘psi’ episodes and especially those involving the Dark Judges), urban fantasy (what else given its predominantly urban setting?) and Weird West (typically in the Cursed Earth). For that matter, it has shared elements of genres beyond science fiction or fantasy, albeit in the usual suspects for its central premise – crime or heist fiction, espionage or war fiction, and police drama.

True to its roots in black comedy and satire, Judge Dredd frequently plays with other works of science fiction (or fantasy), generally to the detriment of the latter as they encounter the full force of Mega-City Law. It also has had more substantial crossovers, particularly with other 2000 AD stories (although not always to the benefit of consistent continuity), but also with other publishers – sometimes played for laughs (Mars Attacks Judge Dredd?!), but others played more seriously (Judge Dredd vs Aliens works surprisingly well with the scenario of a xenomorph infestation as a terrorist attack on Mega-City). And there was Judge Dredd vs Batman – the ultimate lawman vs the ultimate vigilante. Double the awesome!

And then there is the diversity of tone. Predominantly its tone is that of tongue-in-cheek black comedy or satire. Primarily, Judge Dredd is funny or comic, in contrast to what might otherwise be an unbearably tragic post-apocalyptic setting. As noted before in this list, the best post-apocalyptic fiction is absurdist at heart. Yet even here it can vary, particularly as Mega-City, its Judges and its citizens have engaged more depth of emotional reaction – from comic to dramatic (even with a sense of suspense or horror) and indeed to tragic.

The tragic stories could be heartbreaking or heartrending – they typically involved stories of individuals crushed by life in Mega-City One, often not so much by deliberate cruelty but by the vast impersonal carelessness of the city, and some so that even Dredd was moved by their tragedy. And then the whole city was overwhelmed by tragedy in the recent Day of Chaos storyline. Previous apocalyptic crises for Mega-City had tended to be somewhat absurdist, but there was little absurdist or comic about the Day of Chaos. Even in the Apocalypse War, when half the city was destroyed, it was a little hard to take seriously, perhaps it was on such an unbelievably large scale and we don’t really see it. The Apocalypse War (and for that matter The Day the Law Died before it, equally or even more absurdist as Caligula replayed in the twenty-second century) also set the pattern of future crises, in which Judge Dredd would typically lead a small force to turn the tide and save the city. So that’s what we anticipate in the recent Day of Chaos storyline, waiting expectantly as the Judge battle to save the city from a terrorist biological weapon. Except…they fail.

The Chaos Bug spreads through the city beyond any hope of containment, infecting all it touches with fatal rabid madness. As Yeats wrote – “things fall apart, the center cannot hold”. And so the Judges enact their desperate, heartbreaking last resort – city-wide triage, evacuating a small uninfected remnant (only 50 million out of a population of 400 million) to safe blocks, poignantly symbolized by Dredd escorting his niece Vienna to a safe block as the city dies around them. Gruddamn you, 2000 AD – you tore my heart out with that story!

Perhaps most poignantly in the tragedy is the sense amongst the Judges, not least Dredd himself, that they reaped the harvest that they had sown, in their destruction of Sov city East-Meg One and the distrust of their own population. The city has bounced back, its population rising to about 180 million or so through the Chaos Bug being not quite as fatal as planned, return of expatriates, immigration, the acceptance of refugees and most ironically, the formerly second-class citizens of its mutant townships. Yet it remained a shadow of its former superpower self – depopulated and mostly in dangerous ruins, in dire economic straits and with uncertain future, embattled for its very survival…

 

 

 

(10) THE ZEN OF DREDD

(OR HOW JUDGE DREDD IS PLATO’S REPUBLIC AND HOBBES’ LEVIATHAN)

 

And for my final reason, it’s time to get philosophical. Not too philosophical of course – Judge Dredd is primarily driven by its nature (and the action of its narrative) as a futuristic Dirty Harry in a dystopian or post-apocalyptic SF satire.

However, like most (if not all) substantial works of fiction, Judge Dredd does have its philosophical underpinnings – the Zen of Dredd as it were, which not surprisingly tends towards political philosophy, Plato’s Republic and Hobbes’ Leviathan. I’m not saying that Judge Dredd is deliberately modelled or directly influenced by Plato’s Republic, but Plato and his Republic are hugely influential in Western culture and politics. Since Plato’s Republic has its central premise as the meaning of justice (and hence the just or ideal society), it is all too apt that Judge Dredd has a distinct flavor of Plato’s Republic about it. Indeed, just as Star Wars was essentially Plato’s Republic in space, with the Jedi as its philosopher-kings or guardians and the Force as the Platonic Forms of the true spiritual reality (superior to the material reality of our untrained perception or senses), then so too Mega-City One is essentially Plato’s Republic in twenty-second century America, with the Judges as its philosopher-kings or guardians and the Law as its Forms. (Or as Judge Dredd likes to proclaim – “I am the Law!”). Indeed, the Judges are strikingly similar to the guardian class of Plato’s Republic – male and female (Plato’s Republic was at least progressive on that point), trained from childhood to govern in the interests of the polity (by physical regimen and the four virtues of wisdom, justice, courage and temperance) and bound by stricter rules (such as the absence of family or relationships and personal wealth) than the rest of the populace.

It has been argued that Plato’s Republic was indeed, like Judge Dredd, a dystopian satire rather than a utopian ideal, but it is difficult not to see it intended as the latter – or worse, Plato’s distaste for his own democratic Athens (which after all, executed his beloved teacher and philosophical mouthpiece Socrates) and idealization of a philosophical version of Athens rival, Sparta. And so we are still fighting the Peloponnesian War against Plato’s totalitarian Spartanism as it has recurred throughout Western political ideology – the General Will of Rousseau, the dictatorship of the proletariat and its revolutionary vanguard in Marxism or communism, the fuhrerprinzip of fascism or Nazism.

And yet for all my general opposition to Plato’s Republic in all its forms, Judge Dredd’s Mega-City One is one of the few forms of Plato’s Republic I can believe in, or at least see a nuanced appeal. This is perhaps because it also echoes another descendant of Plato’s Republic, one that is more blunt and therefore persuasive than most – Hobbes’ Leviathan. Just as Dredd’s Mega-City One is Plato’s Republic in the twenty-second century, so too is its Department of Justice Hobbes’ Leviathan made flesh. (Judge Dredd is prominently among the entries for the trope Hobbes was Right in TV Tropes). Hobbes’ Leviathan is essentially his proposal of necessary political sovereign power, born of “social contract” to avoid the state of (human) nature, with its constant war of all against all – in which life is, as famously quoted, “poor, nasty, brutish and short”. And to be honest, that does seem to sum up life in the twenty-second century – indeed, it is potentially a lot more nasty, brutish and short in a world of aliens, mutants, robots and weapons of mass destruction.

Friday Night Funk – Top 10 Music (Mojo & Funk): (10) Doja Cat – Paint the Town Red

Clip from the official video

 

TOP 10 MUSIC (MOJO & FUNK):

(10) DOJA CAT – PAINT THE TOWN RED (2023)

 

“I let all that get to my head

I don’t care, I paint the town red (walk on by)

Mm, she the devil

She a bad lil’ b*tch, she a rebel (walk on by)”

 

What can I say – it’s all in the sample and I just can’t, well, walk on by that sample of Dionne Warwick’s 1964 song “Walk on By”.

 

Also my usual rule for my wildcard tenth place is to award it for the best entry from the current or previous year – and Amala Ratna Zandile Diamini a.k.a. Doja Cat wins my favorite funky song from 2023, albeit narrowly beating out Rita Ora’s “Praising You” and Coi Leray “Players”. (Very narrowly for the latter as it samples one of my funk favorites – Grandmaster Flash & The Furious Five “The Message”).

 

And who’s going to argue with the nation of Australia, at least as far as it came in first place in their hottest 100 for 2023 (by Triple J radio as part of Australia’s Broadcasting Corporation)? Or whatever the hell – literally – is going on in the video for the song…?

 

Apparently in the boom bap subgenre, the lead single from her fourth album “Scarlet” and her most successful song to date – it’s “backed by a bouncy production that sees Doja Cat rapping over a subtle brassy, finger snap-laden beat”.

 

RATING: 4 STARS****

X-TIER (WILD TIER)

Top Tens – Film: Top 10 Films (7) John Wick

One of the best movie poster images (for John Wick 2)

 

(7) JOHN WICK (2014 – PRESENT)

 

 

“Yeah, I’m thinking I’m back”

 

You sure are, John Wick, you sure are. You too, Keanu.

 

The best action franchise of the twenty-first century. There – I said it. Also one of the best roaring rampages of revenge and one-man armies on screen. Also some of the best poster designs.

 

I also dig the whole assassin mystique and mythos it’s got going, with its intricate rituals and rules, implausible as it all is – the implausibility just makes it more mythic! The Continental, the High Table, and so on. Although I suspect real hitmen are a lot less glamorous and a lot more seedy.

 

“Neo-noir action thriller franchise…set in a shadowy world of assassins and criminals”. I can’t resist quoting TV Tropes that “the films can be best described as what happens when Neo is reimagined in the real world as the deadliest assassin alive”.

 

It has been hailed as reviving the flagging action genre, not least due to its “choreographed sequences and practical effects that were filmed in long takes” – none of that quick cut shaky-cam crap. Also lots of gunplay and headshots – not that John needs a gun to kill anyone. A book, a pencil, a horse – anything will do.

 

This entry represents the franchise as whole – four films deep and spinoffs as at 2024 – but if I have to choose one, it would have to be the 2014 original film for the franchise at its freshest, albeit Chapter Four comes close in the sequels.

 

FANTASY & SF

 

That assassin mystique and mythos borders on fantasy, while John Wick’s skill and survivability borders on supernatural ability (as do the action sequences in general).

 

COMEDY

 

Surprisingly for a film set in the underworld of assassins, it hits some black and dry comedic beats.

 

 

RATING: 4 STARS****

A-TIER (TOP TIER)

Top Tens – Film: Top 10 Films (8) Gareth Evans – The Raid

From the films’ theatrical release poster

 

 

(8) GARETH EVANS –

THE RAID (2011)

100 minutes of awesomeness in a frenetic, claustrophobic martial arts action masterpiece – the martial arts being the Indonesian pencak silat that is showcased by the film’s fight choreography and the claustrophobic being the film’s premise.

That premise being an Indonesian police squad deployed to raid a drug lord’s apartment block in the sums of Jakarta – actually a fortress-like safe house for the city’s worst criminals – only to find themselves forced to fight their way through the complex to carry out their mission or just to survive long enough to escape.

“Good morning, everyone. You may have noticed we have some guests trawling the halls today. Now, I certainly did not invite them and they most certainly are not welcome. So, in the interests of public health, should you rid this building of its recent infestation, well, then, you can consider yourself a permanent resident of this building. Free of charge. You’ll find these f*cking cockroaches on the sixth floor. Now, go to work. And please, please enjoy yourself.”

And yes – it was the same premise that was (independently) used to similarly great effect in the 2012 Dredd film.

And ever since, I’ve enjoyed whenever The Raid pops up in one form or another – most obviously in its 2014 sequel, which maintained the frenetic action of the first. You know you’re in for glorious action when the climax of the film is preceded by a character telling its action hero that the only way to solve his problems is to kill all of the parties responsible. My personal highlight of the sequel was the assassin duo dubbed Hammer Girl and Baseball Bat Man.

I also get excited whenever I see what I call the Raid guys – primarily Iko Suwais and ‘Mad Dog’ Yahan Ruhian – in a film. Even when they were disappointingly wasted in The Force Awakens. Fortunately, John Wick Chapter 3 made up for that.

I’m also counting it as The Raid popping up for any film by the same director Gareth Evans – which admittedly has only been one film after the two Raid films so far, albeit the decent folk horror flick Apostle.

 

FANTASY & SF

No, except to the extent that the intense fighting skill and survival of characters borders on supernatural.

 

COMEDY

Again, not really any comedic elements, except occasionally of the blacker kind

 

RATING: 4 STARS****

B-TIER (HIGH TIER)

Top Tens – Top 10 Films (9) Robert Eggers – The Northman

Theatrical release poster

 

(9) ROBERT EGGERS –

THE NORTHMAN (2022)

 

“I will avenge you, father. I will save you, mother. I will kill you, Fjolnir”.

 

Well, two out of three ain’t bad.

 

A retelling of the legend of Amleth – the source for Shakespeare’s Hamlet.

 

If there’s one thing director Robert Eggers is known for, it’s for making mythic worlds – films that utterly and viscerally immerse their audience into the world of their stories, characteristically with “their central elements of mythology and folklore”, down to the finest detail.

 

He did it with The Witch and he did it here – with Anya Taylor-Joy as a common denominator between them and I have a thing for those fey eyes of hers. He does it better in The Northman – for one thing he has more mythic elements to play with from Norse mythology (and European magic) and for another he improves upon the more ponderous pacing of The Witch, arguably a side effect of his world-immersion but one keeps much tighter here.

 

His work is pretty impressive as he only has three films under his belt – with a fourth film upcoming in 2024, his passion projecy Nosferatu. (I skipped The Lighthouse, his second film between The Witch and The Northman).

 

I can’t mention Anya Taylor-Joy without mentioning Alexander Skarsgard as the titular Northman, an actor born to play a berserker if ever there was one – and that continuous tracking shot of him through an attack on a village is a thing to behold. (Heh – berserking is in the eye of the beholder).

 

And if we’re to mention standout scenes – there’s my personal standout scene(s) of the Valkyrie and her otherworldly ferocity, even if people mistook her filed teeth for braces.

 

I can’t resist wrapping up with this quote by reviewer David Ehrlich for Indiewire, calling the film “primal, sinewy, gnarly-as-f*ck” and “grab-you-by-the-throat intense”.

 

FANTASY & SF

 

And how! The mythic elements – reflecting the worldview of its characters – loom so large the film borders on fantasy, including that final volcanic surreal showdown.

 

COMEDY

 

Eggers…isn’t big on comedic elements. So, no – or few and far between.

 

RATING: 4 STARS****

B-TIER (HIGH TIER)

Top Tens – Mythology: Top 10 Mancy (Special Mention – Complete)

Free “divine gallery” art sample from OldWorldGods

 

 

But wait – there’s more mancy!

Of course, you knew that already.

There is a plethora of methods of divination (or types of magic) connoted by the suffix -mancy, indeed so many that I could have done my usual twenty special mentions several times over. Just look at the Wikipedia entry for methods of divination – or the TV Tropes entry for whatevermancy.

As I said in my introduction to the top ten, there is an almost overwhelming number of variants of divination (or magic) with that suffix -mancy, and their sheer abundance has always fascinated me. In part that reflects the ease by which one can coin such a word, usually by combining a Latin or Greek root word with -mancy. However, it predominantly reflects connoting forms of divination actually used by people as observed or recorded in history or anthropology – as people have used almost anything and everything as the magical means of divination.

Of course, some or even many are incredibly particular, esoteric or obscure as a result – to use just one example to illustrate, belomancy (or bolomancy) is the art of divination by use of arrows.

Accordingly, I have continued to prefer the broader brush strokes I used in my top ten for the special mentions as well, although as usual I splash out with some wilder entries in my special mentions.

And once again, it goes without saying that the top ten or special mentions does or do not reflect any personal beliefs in methods of divination or forms of magic, just my interest in them.

So here are my Top 10 Mancy special mentions, all in the one post compiled from their previous individual entries (and also in their own page).

 

Free “divine gallery” art sample from OldWorldGods

 

(1) GYNOMANCY

 

“Frenzied women from whose lips the god speaks”

Yes – there is no entry for gynomancy in the Wikipedia list of methods of divination and I made it up for special mention from the suffix gyno-, but it does have some basis in history or mythology and even more potential in fantasy, both enough for goddess-tier ranking.

But first, gynomancy might be defined in one of two ways – divination of women, or divination by women.

The first is essentially divination by observations of women or a woman – for example, perhaps along the lines of somatomancy or divination by the female body or its feminine aspects, which would make for a novel twist on those FBI female body inspector shirts. “Please undress – trust me, I’m a gynomancer!”

The second is of course divination or magic by women – one of few areas extending back in history and mythology prior to the modern period where women match or even exceed men in otherwise patriarchal societies.

Sure, the Bible is mostly a patriarchal prophet boys’ club, with prophets such as Jeremiah famously ranting about Israel as an unfaithful wife (and sleeping around with other gods), but even it does have female prophets, albeit usually without books to their name (with arguable exceptions such as Esther).

Elsewhere, however, divination had more equal opportunities. Walter Burkert observed that the “frenzied women from whose lips the god speaks” were recorded as far back as the Near East in the second millennium BC or Assyria in the first millennium BC, and there were similar female figures (heh) in Egypt. Often these female figures were associated with snakes, which puts a different spin on Eve and the Serpent in Genesis.

However, the most famous female figures of divination were from classical history. Foremost among them was the Pythoness or Pythia of the Delphic Oracle (there’s that snake association again), albeit as the mouthpiece of Apollo as god of prophecy. For Rome, there was the Sibyl and her Sibylline Books.

Yet female divination or gynomancy goes even further than this with the female figures that recur throughout European mythology and folklore as forces of fate or fortune, typically as a trinity, from the Fates of classical mythology to the weird sisters of Macbeth – at least speaking to human fate or fortune, if not actively making or shaping it, and enduring even as witches or fairies (or fairy godmothers) in fairy tales.

This female trinity varies, but one of the most popular conceptions of it is as the trinity of Maiden, Mother and Crone, occasionally styled as the phases of the moon (waxing, full and waning) or the trope of the Hecate Sisters – and there’s an argument for each of the trinity as definitively embodying the female aspect for divination or magic.

Perhaps the obvious female aspect is female sexuality, typically represented by the Maiden – although perhaps with characteristic irony (or duality), divination or magic may be associated with virginity, with one theme being the loss of such powers with the loss of virginity. Think Vestal Virgins but with divination or magic to go along with their sacred position – or Solitaire in the James Bond film Live and Let Die.

Of course, divination or magic may also be associated with active female sexuality (which raises a number of interesting possibilities for gynomancy in fantasy) – which may also take us from the Maiden to that figure with the most powerful ultimate expression of female sexuality, the Mother (which again raises a number of interesting possibilities for gynomancy in fantasy being based on pregnancy, or giving birth, or nursing, and so on). And of course mothers are generally known for prophetic pronouncements, particularly to their children.

“Two things, my lord, must thee know of the wise woman. First, she is…a woman. And second, she is…”
“Wise?”
“You do know her, then?”
“No, just a wild stab in the dark, which is, incidentally, what you’ll be getting if you don’t start being more helpful”

The Crone tends to involve female aspects other than active sexuality – but there’s a long history of weird sisters, wise women and witches that speak for her as a figure of divination and magic.

Speaking of the Hecate Sisters, there is Hecate herself as the literal goddess of magic in classical mythology, reflecting the recurring role of divine female figures for magic in mythology – Isis and Freya come to mind – although in fairness divine magic is distributed among both gods and goddesses as part of their nature. Odysseus is particularly reliant on the kindness of divine female strangers and their magic in the Odyssey, prompting speculation of female authorship for that epic.

Anyway, gynomancy has a lot of potential, particularly in fantasy, as either or both of a method of divination or school of magic. Bonus points if divination or magic is exclusively gynomancy – that is, only women can use divination or magic (or some similar variation, such as they are more attuned to or powerful in its use), which opens up considerable potential for equalizing sexes or powerful female characters in fantasy. Indeed, there’s a whole trope for it – Magic is Feminine.

 

RATING: 5 STARS*****
S-TIER (GODDESS TIER)

 

Jane Seymour as Solitaire in the 1973 James Bond film “Live and Let Die” – my favorite depiction of the Tarot in film, for which they designed their own pack, the Tarot of the Witches. Also – Jane Seymour!

 

 

(2) CHARTOMANCY – CARTOMANCY (TAROMANCY)

 

“I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died” – Steve Wright

Special mention to the first of what I call my casino trinity of mancy – cartomancy or divination by cards, with the foremost of those being divination by Tarot cards, occasionally styled as taromancy.

That casino quip is not casual – I suspect there is a substantial overlap between methods of divination and gambling in games of chance or fortune, evolving to or from the other. However, it is not an area in which I have read (if such references exist), although Encyclopedia Britannica at least seems to endorse that gambling evolved from divination.

I have read that something of the reverse happened with Tarot cards. Tarot cards appear to have originated as the very subject of Wright’s joke – a more mundane medium for playing card games – but subsequently acquired their mystique as a means for divination, often in popular culture with dire portents Wright played on for his joke.

Less dramatically, cartomancy tends to use standard playing cards, which were introduced into Europe (from foreign origins, apparently ultimately from China) at about the same time as Tarot, albeit not necessarily in their contemporary form. I understand that the history (and historical forms) of playing cards is less than clear, as is the Tarot and any relationship between them – contrary to my former beliefs (from superficial reading) that playing cards evolved from the Tarot.

Cartomancy is itself a form of chartomancy, which is divination by…paper?! Well, not just any paper, but paper with things on it – which could potentially be as simple as paper with different colors on it (for example, drawn randomly by a querent) but more usually paper with words or visual symbols written or printed on it, hence cartomancy.

I suspect chartomancy is more a label of convenience for similar methods of divination using written or printed words or symbols on paper rather than a meaningful denomination for divination from paper of itself. Although apparently there was papyromancy for divination by folding paper – reading the creases from crumpled paper not unlike the lines in a hand in palmistry.

Writing (including writing visual symbols) probably did have an appearance of magic or at least some mystique to it with the advent of literacy which was passed on to its mediums including paper – arguably reflected in the enduring image of magic in books or scrolls.

Another example of chartomancy would be fortune cookies – used more now for casual entertainment, but apparently (or at least arguably) with a serious historical pedigree dating back to Mesopotamia and Greece, occasionally termed as aleuromancy or divination by the use of flour.

Yet another example would be stichomancy (occasionally styled as rhapsodomancy), divination by lines of verse (or poetry), or what I might call small-b bibliomancy, literally divination by books – of which the most famous is big-b Bibliomancy, or divination by the Bible, typically by lines or passages “taken at hazard” or at random.

Obviously other books can and have been used, although usually of equal significance – Homer’s Iliad and Oydssey (sometimes styled as stoichomancy or stoicheomancy), the works of Virgil and the mysterious Sybilline Books in Rome, the Koran (or Quran) and so on. I’d like to see dictiomancy – divination by words at random from the dictionary.

As a method of divination, the various forms of chartomancy have a power corresponding to what is used – standard playing cards might seem mundane but Tarot cards have the emotional resonance of their vivid, and violent, visual imagery.

And as a type of magic, there’s that enduring image of books and scrolls as the means for magic, including in Dungeons and Dragons. It would be intriguing to extend that to cards, perhaps adapted in different styles or schools of magic from card games such as poker or blackjack. Or perhaps conjuration using Tarot cards – although Dungeons and Dragons has done something of the sort with its Deck of Many Things.

Although knowing my luck, I’d mostly draw Swords, perhaps echoing Indiana Jones and snakes. “Swords – why did it have to be Swords?”.

 

RATING: 4 STARS****
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The various different sided dice designed and used for Dungeons & Dragons – particularly including the iconic and definitive d20

 

(3) CLEROMANCY – ASTRAGALOMANCY

 

God does play dice with the universe!

Or in other words a crapshoot…

The second of my casino trinity of mancy for special mention

Strictly speaking, cleromancy is divination by casting lots, as the prefix clero- derives from the Greek root for lot – a method of divination or random selection used frequently in ancient history, not least in the Bible where it even appears to be positively endorsed as a means to divine God’s will.

However, it is used more generally as a label of convenience for divination by other means of random selection – interestingly, for which casting also tends to be used as a verb, most definitively casting a die or dice, often styled as astragalomancy (for “dice” from bones).

It can extend to similar things such as the I Ching in China. One might also extend it to numismatomancy or divination by coins, although typically one flips or tosses a coin rather than casting it in modern parlance.

As a means of divination, it has the powerful simplicity of its random mechanic, arguably the most random of any method of divination, although it still boils down to how the diviner assigns the possible outcomes.

And as a school of magic – well, perhaps it’s not so random that the other thing for which the word cast or casting is frequently used is magic, as in casting a spell or spellcasting. Or that dice are famously used as the mechanics of gameplay for magic in games such as Dungeons and Dragons.

I also like the idea of magic as inherently random in nature – what I’d like to style as entropomancy, or the archetypal tropes of chaos magic or wild magic. Powerful perhaps but potentially dangerous or tricky, prone to turning in the hand, or wand as it were – with a will of its own that is more coaxed than controlled, and with unintended consequences even at the best of times when you can shape it to your purpose.

I mean – that’s kind of the point of magic, to indeed play dice outside or with the usual rules of the universe, albeit ideally to load those same dice in your favor. Funnily enough, it seems to me that human life (and biological life in general) is the reverse – brief moments snatched from the basic entropy of the universe.

 

RATING: 4 STARS****
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X Wheel of Fortune – Rider Waite Tarot (artist Pamela Colman Smith)

 

(4) CYCLOMANCY (GYROMANCY)

 

Wheel of Fortune!

No, seriously – as illustrated by the medieval concept of fate or fortune subsequently used in Tarot cards, although perhaps better known for the modern game show concept

Cyclomancy – or divination by wheels – is the third of my casino trinity of mancy for special mention, obviously invoking roulette.

Of course, it didn’t so much involve the wheel itself, but things inscribed on the wheel, and spinning the wheel as a means of randomizing selection of outcome – not unlike the game show concept.

“Bust a deal, face the wheel” – Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome might be my least favorite of the franchise but it did have some interesting (and memorable) concepts, one of which was its cyclomantic system of justice or law enforcement. Yet again, however, it illustrates that such things usually boil down to how the diviner assigns the possible outcomes – with Aunty Entity stacking the wheel heavily in her favor with a large part of it designated as Aunty’s Choice.

I don’t know how prevalent cyclomancy was as a means of divination in classical Greece – I suspect not very as against more dramatic or emotive methods of divination – but I’d like to imagine the Delphic Oracle as a game-show style of Wheel of Fortune, spun by a delectable Pythoness. Although probably the better game show model would be something like Family Feud, down to the actual feuding families – “we surveyed a hundred divine beings and if your answer is not up on the board…”

Cyclomancy is part of that stereotypical childhood or adolescent game of spin the bottle – as for that matter is gyromancy or divination by dizziness, except for games where you’re the thing being spun. Sometimes you spin the bottle and sometimes the bottle spins you.

As a method of divination, it shares the powerful simplicity of its random mechanic with cleromancy, albeit one readily cheated by not only stacking the wheel in your favor, but also with various carnival means of interfering with the spinning of it.

As a school of magic, it does not seem so readily applicable – although I like the image of wizards using spell wheels in the manner of prayer wheels or similar objects (or, for the Dungeons and Dragons class of cleric, using prayer wheels).

However, it has a thematic applicability similar to the random nature (or entropomancy) of cleromancy, except also the reverse – in that it is not so much random but cyclical, ultimately moved by a larger pattern or even cosmic balance. What goes up must come down – and part of the art of cyclomancy is riding the wave of the cycle in your favor.

Cyclomancy can even overlap with sacrificial hieromancy – in that you can spin the wheel of fortune in your favor but you have to pay a price, at least when the wheel spins back, or perhaps even to take a spin in the first place.

 

RATING: 4 STARS****
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Tetragrammaton in Palaeo-Hebrew, ancient Aramaic and modern Hebrew scripts created by Zappaz and Bryan Derksen for Wikipedia and licensed under Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 3.0 Unported license https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/

 

(5) NOMANCY / ONOMANCY

 

“The name is the thing, and the true name is the true thing.”

Yes – we’re talking the divination or magic of names. Although typically it involves not just any names, particularly the names we so casually toss about for ourselves in our daily lives, but true names or names of power, even if they have to be discovered through nomancy or onomancy itself, sometimes to those who have forgotten or don’t know their own true name or nature.

“A person’s true name might be self-determined, or bestowed on them by someone else — possibly in a religious or magical ritual, or it could be stolen, or given away”. It also tends to be something a person or being jealously guards or keeps secret – although that often applies to names in general, as with Odysseus with his name to Polyphemus.

A true name perfectly describes something’s essential nature – one might well say its soul or spirit – and knowing a true name gives one power over the owner of the name.

It is a concept with a long pedigree in mythology and folklore which I suspect originates in prehistory with human language itself and our ability to vocalise or for verbal thought, which often seem magical of themselves.

Some of the most striking illustrations of it are in the Bible, particularly in the creation myths of Genesis – from God essentially naming or speaking creation into existence to Adam naming the animals. True names might be said to reflect the divine language of heaven or the primal language of creation.

Interestingly, that goes for the name of God as well and there’s a whole running theme in or from the Bible about the power of God’s true name or names – from the Tetragrammaton (or four letters YHWH representing God) to the multiple or secret names of God giving power over creation, hence the various taboos revolving around the name (or names) of God (including one of the Ten Commandments).

I would argue that it also underlies the concept of Plato’s Forms – indeed, it might be argued that one’s true name essentially corresponds to one’s Form. It also perhaps underlies magic words or incantations in general.

There is even a myth, whether it has any historical truth or otherwise, that the city of Rome had a true name, safeguarded and kept secret lest her enemies learn of it to curse her or gain power over her.

All that is very well but it doesn’t seem to make for much by way of a method of divination – except of course to divine a true name as part of magic. Well, perhaps for things like those childhood or adolescent games in which one “calculates” the compatibility of a crush or love interest, although they tend to involve alphanumeric keys based on letters.

As a system or school of magic, it comes close even to oneiromancy as arguably the original source of all divination, as well as magic and religion in general – the ability to shape reality to our conceptual and verbal thought, perhaps even to define things into existence.

Not coincidentally, it is a concept that often underlies or is at least invoked by game mechanics for magic in Dungeons and Dragons – although not as a core mechanic given its potential power. Hence the class of truenamer, which on paper was a decent concept, but its actual mechanics in game play were so bad that it was widely acknowledged to be so hopelessly broken as the worst class of the game.

 

RATING: 4 STARS****
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Yes – it’s one of my favorite memes, the math lady / confused lady featuring Brazilian actress Renata Sorrah playing Nazare Tedesco in a scene from Senhora do Destino

 

(6) ARITHMANCY

 

Lucky numbers and sacred geometry!

Also Pythagoras – whom I used to think of as a grounded philosopher and mathematician from his theorem at school, because schools don’t teach how much of a mystical kook he was as well. Mind you, the same goes for Greek philosophers in general, as E.R. Dodds propounded in The Greeks and the Irrational.

And yes – apparently numerology was known as arithmancy prior to the 20th century, and frankly still should be rather than coopting a name more appropriate to a science to itself, similarly to astrology. Also – numeromancy was sitting right there!

In fairness, similarly to astrology contributing to astronomy, numerology may have contributed to science, albeit more numerology in the broader sense of numeric patterns – as per British mathematician I. J. Good, “there have been a few examples of numerology that have led to theories that transformed society…It would be fair enough to say that numerology was the origin of the theories of electromagnetism, quantum mechanics, gravitation….”

Arithmancy or divinatory numerology essentially involves “a belief in an occult, divine or mystical relationship between a number and one or more coinciding events” – or that certain numbers have certain mystical or symbolic properties. Or in short – lucky (and unlucky) numbers. The same concept can also be applied to the mathematical properties of geometry – hence sacred geometry.

As for the numbers themselves, they may come from some process of random selection (not unlike modern lotteries) or from assigning numeric values to other things, such as an alphanumeric system for letters in words or names (overlapping with my previous special mention for nomancy or onomancy).

That last is also known as gematria, a practice dating back to ancient history and (in)famously appearing in the Bible as 666 or the Number of the Beast in the Book of Apocalypse – or as I like to quip, that sixy beast – for which the scholarly consensus is that it is an alphanumeric key to the Roman Emperor Nero. (It’s a little more messy than that – I understand it wasn’t the actual Nero, but some sort of projected supercharged revenant Nero back from the dead, and could also be rendered alternatively as 616, as it was in some versions).

The strength of arithmancy or numerology as both method of divination and school of magic lies in the elegance and explanatory power of mathematics to explain the fundamental properties of our reality – something which is ever more so in modern science, where whole swathes of reality only seem explicable entirely as increasingly arcane mathematical formulae.

To the point that our physical reality often seems a coalescence or crystallization of mathematics or numbers – it is not so much that everything has a true name but a true number.

I can’t resist closing with two of my favorite incarnations of arithmancy in science fiction.

The first is the basic arithmantic principles underlying the Laundry series by Charles Stross – where the magic is essentially arithmancy or mathematics (and where the growing computing power of humanity and its machines will reach a threshold drawing the attention of hostile Lovecraftian entities).

The second is my favorite version of arithmancy in a charming (and characteristically horny) short story by Fritz Leiber – in which the number seven assumes a sexy female personification. Hot damn – that would have made maths classes more interesting at school!

 

RATING: 4 STARS****
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Lotus flower – public domain image

 

(7) BOTANOMANCY

 

“The force that through the green fuse drives the flower”

Sadly, botanomancy or divination by plants seems to get short shrift compared to theriomancy or divination by animals, even though both probably originate in prehistory – with prehistoric humans depending as much on observations of plant life as they did animal life.

Even the term botanomancy itself is read more narrowly, at least in the Wikipedia entry for it, as divination by burning particular plants (similarly to burning laurel wreaths or daphomancy), but this seems more in the nature of pyromancy.

There are also references to anthomancy or divination by flowers (as well as phyllorhodomancy or divination by rose petals), dendromancy or divination by trees, and phyllomancy or divination by leaves (as well as sycomacy or divination by fig leaves).

However, none of these references elaborate anything by way of divinatory practice in history, although the specificity of some of those references – rose petals or fig leaves – suggest some specific practice. One can imagine divination by scattering rose petals in much the same way as dirt in geomancy and it would make for a more romantic date, if nothing else.

At very least, there’s that romantic divinatory game of plucking petals from a flower – s/he loves me, s/he loves me not…

One can also imagine divination by spots in leaves or fruit and so on, or perhaps patterns of where they fall. There’s also that Celtic tree alphabet (or ogham), which was the weird focus in Robert Graves’ The White Goddess – although it’s hard to tell with that book – in a manner suggestive of divination or magic. In fairness, the Wikipedia reference to dendromancy does note particular trees – “especially oaks, yews, or mistletoe” – and druids seemed to go nuts for that last one.

Ironically, the (vaguely) botanomantic reference which is elaborated in most detail is tasseomancy or divination by patterns in tea leaves or coffee grounds – which however is both a relatively recent method of divination and also more akin to hydromancy by brewing.

As a method of divination, botanomancy just seems a little low tier in comparison even only to theriomancy – perhaps plant life operates on too long (or slow) a time scale for practical divination, or perhaps we just have more of an emotional attachment to animals. Unless you’re communing with the Green in the style of Swamp Thing or Poison Ivy.

As a school of magic, however, I rank it as top tier – again essentially combining the Dungeons and Dragons classes of wizard and druid. It’s arguably up there with the elemental schools of magic – indeed the Chinese had five classical elements, one of which was wood. That’s especially so if you can control or grow plants, again in the style of Swamp Thing or Poison Ivy.

Alternatively, with a little fantasy or imagination it’s up there with theriomancy, but as a literal way of plant powers – with one of many applications replicating the effects of plant-based toxins or drugs.

 

RATING: 4 STARS****
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Hopefully not that ominous – Ten of Swords, Rider-Waite Tarot illustrated by Pamela Colman Smith

 

(8) CRYPTOMANCY

 

It’s an omen!

According to Wikipedia’s list of methods of divination, cryptomancy is divination by omens, although the prefix crypto- designates hidden or secret, as in hidden or secret signs. Which begs one of the biggest questions for this method of divination – what is an omen?

And there’s the rub. The problem with this as a distinct method of divination is that most, if not all, methods of divination ultimately relied on what might be described as divining or interpreting omens from whatever it was they looked at for their subject matter.

Augury, for example, often used as a synonym for omen, originates in interpreting omens from the behaviour or flight of birds – or ornithomancy, as we saw in theriomancy. And so on.

Accordingly, omens can be somewhat mundane, but I prefer my omens to be portentous – as in portent, also often used as a synonym for omen. I also prefer my omens to be ominous – a word I understand to be derived from omen, and to convey foreboding.

In other words, I prefer my omens to be big and bad – and ideally weird. Comets and eclipses. Animals born with two heads or no eyes. Spontaneous animal or human combustion. Raving and gibbering hooded figures. And so on.

So as a method of divination, it’s not distinct from any other method of divination, except to the extent its omens might be bigger, badder or weirder.

It doesn’t exactly leap out as a school of magic either, but perhaps with a little imagination might be adapted to a school of magic powered by charms, curses, and hexes. I can imagine a luck-fuelled school of magic in urban fantasy, perhaps styled as tychomancy, based on superstitions, lucky symbols or signs of bad luck – perhaps even powered by channelling signs of bad luck (broken mirrors and so on) into good magic, like some sort of mojo judo.

 

RATING: 4 STARS****
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Yes – it’s that freaky oracle scene from the 2006 film 300, directed by Zac Snyder – oracles evoking the random or at least cryptic utterances that pop up in one form of cledonomancy

 

 

(9) CLEDONOMANCY (CLAMANCY & CHRESMOMANCY)

 

Serendipity and synchronicity.

Or crowd-sourcing your divination.

Cledonomancy is divination by chance events or overheard words, using the prefix cledon- from the Greek root for rumor.

“A kind of divination based on chance events or encounters, such as words occasionally uttered…rumor, a report, omen, fame, name.”

In some ways cledonomancy seems the inverse of cryptomancy or divination by omens, at least omens as big, bad or weird events. Instead cledonomancy involves mundane events of chance significance or synchronicity.

Apparently one example of cledonomancy was for the querent to whisper a question into the god’s ear at a shrine (presumably of a statue or something similar) and then listen for the god’s answer among chance words of pedestrians outside the shrine.

This is also styled as clamancy, divination by random shouts or cries heard in crowds, at night or so on – although I also have a soft spot for chresmomancy or divination by the ravings of lunatics, or its contemporary equivalent of Twitter.

As a method of divination, it has a certain appeal and force to it – serendipity in common parlance or what Jung styled as synchronicity. It also seems immensely practical – easy to do at home (especially through ‘surfing’ radio, television, or internet), at work, or generally out and about.

As a school of magic, it would seem to be in the same territory of entropomancy, chaos magic, or wild magic as cleromancy.

 

RATING: 4 STARS****
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Illustration of the Dutch explorer Joris van Spilbergen meeting King Vimaladharmasuriya I of Kandy (in modern Sri Lanka) from a 1602 book – used for the Stranger King article in Wikipedia

 

 

(10) XENOMANCY

 

“A prophet is never accepted in his home town”

The divination and magic of strangers, stranger kings, stranger things…and aliens?

Unlike gynomancy, Wikipedia’s list of methods of divination includes xenomancy or divination by strangers, but there is nothing beyond its mere inclusion in the list.

Similarly to gynomancy, however, it might be defined in one of two ways – as divination of strangers, or as divination by strangers. In other words, the stranger as omen or oracle, portent or prophet – the stranger as divinatory object or the stranger as divinatory (or magic) figure.

In the first, the querent divines their answer from the appearance or characteristics of strangers. And to be honest, it doesn’t seem to offer much as a method of divination, much less a school of magic, except as something akin to that game of anticipating the color of the next car one sees driving past.

Of course, strangers arriving at one’s home have more of an import, but it would probably be a safe bet for a diviner to foresee trouble, particularly if the strangers are armed.

The latter – where the stranger is the diviner or magical figure – has far more potential. The wandering stranger was basically Odin’s schtick – and he was hardly alone among gods, angels or kings in that. Even Jesus pulled this trick, accompanying two of his followers unrecognized after his resurrection, only to vanish when they recognised him.

My featured quote was also by Jesus, who turned out to be the biggest stranger prophet of all for the Roman Empire, among various cults of mysterious strangers from the east, and of course beyond that to the world.

In the Bible, Jonah played a similar role on a smaller scale as stranger prophet to the Assyrian Empire – everyone remembers him being swallowed by a “fish” but forgets why he was swallowed in the first place, because he was trying to shirk his role as a stranger prophet.

And then there’s the theory of stranger kings, a theory developed by anthropologist Marshall Sahlins, essentially as to ‘native’ peoples accepting foreign rulers (particularly in the context of European colonialism) – a theory which may well overlap with stranger prophets or strangers as magical figures.

Xenomancy has intriguing fantasy narrative potential as underlying either divination or magic – that people can practice divination or use magic but only as strangers away from their homeland, but the most common trope involves them being in another world altogether, from portal fantasy in literature to isekai in Japanese manga or anime. Two examples spring readily to mind – Narnia (although there they are more stranger kings or heroes) and the Thomas Covenant Chronicles.

It even has intriguing SF narrative potential, particularly when one uses xeno- for its most common contemporary application to aliens – aliens as divinatory or magic figures to humans (or perhaps vice versa). One could even conjure up a contemporary form of xenomancy of divination (or magic) using alien or UFO sightings or lore.

Of course, fantasy often does much the same, but for particular fantasy races with respect to humans – elves effectively being a magical or semi-divine race to the more mundane humans or hobbits in The Lord of the Rings. For that matter, divinatory or magical aliens in SF often tend to be effectively space elves.

 

RATING: 4 STARS****
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A dust storm blankets Texas houses, 1935 in a photograph by George Everett Marsh Jr – public domain image used in Wikipedia article “Dust”

 

(11) ABACOMANCY

 

“I will show you fear in a handful of dust”

“Ah what a dusty answer gets the soul
When hot for certainties in this our life”

I could do these dusty quotes all day, although apparently dusty answer has become a term used for unsatisfactory reply, which does not bode well for abacomancy or divination by dust. However, I just couldn’t resist special mention for it and not just because it was literally the first entry in alphabetical order in Wikipedia’s list of methods of divination.

Disappointingly, it didn’t involve oracles in temples full of dust and cobwebs, but apparently something akin to geomancy – divining patterns in dust, dirt, sand, silt or ashes after being thrown or dropped on a flat surface. Also, Jackson Pollack was into it, doing a series of paintings for it.

Of course, I prefer to cite abacomancy as my go-to excuse for not cleaning my home.

As a method of divination or school of magic, abacomancy seems a little, well, dusty. Although I’d like to imagine abacomancy as a school of magic in a post-apocalyptic fantasy setting – magic powered by dust and detritus, flotsam and jetsam, rust and ruins. Essentially, necromancy but for objects instead of living things (although the two could overlap), a Magic of Broken Things along the lines of the God of the Lost in Stephen King’s The Girl of Who Loved Tom Gordon (although again those could overlap).

Come to think of it, a Magic of the Wasteland – both in terms of the form and style of T.S. Eliot’s poem of that name, the source of my handful of dust quote.

 

RATING: 4 STARS****
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A moonlight shadow of User:W.carter on a jetty at Holma Boat Club by Gullmarn fjord, Lysekil Municipality, Sweden – public domain image Wikipedia article “Shadow”

 

(12) SCIOMANCY

 

“And I will show you something different from either
Your shadow at morning striding behind you
Or your shadow at evening rising to meet you”

Literally a divination from or of shadows, although Wikipedia’s list of methods of divination also includes it as divination by spirits, presumably along the lines of the usage of shades for spirits or ghosts in the underworld, a meaning in use even today although it originates from usage in classical Greece and Rome.

Unfortunately, Wikipedia doesn’t elaborate on either in terms of method of divination, linking sciomancy to an article on theurgy. I’d like to imagine it involving oracles as some form of literal shadow play or shadows cast on a wall, perhaps even originating from the shadows cast from the flickering fires of prehistory.

One might even argue that Plato saw all but philosophers like himself as metaphorical sciomancers, as the reality of our perception effectively consists of shadows cast from the true metaphysical reality of ideal Forms.

Or in other words, the world of our perception is smoke and mirrors – although that seems an awesome combination with sciomancy as a method of divination or school of magic of shadows, smoke and mirrors, which would obviously lean heavily into illusion and perception. Throw in echoes as well and now we’re cooking.

Or for that matter combining sciomancy with the abacomancy of the previous entry – or with the necromancy of the more metaphorical use of shades or shadows. Or of darkness in general. Or all of the above.

Interestingly, Dungeons and Dragons has effectively featured sciomancy as part of its prestige or specialist classes of character, albeit typically as an arcane or magic enhancement of its rogue class.

 

RATING: 4 STARS****
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Chemical structure of LSD – public domain image Wikipedia article “LSD”

 

(13) NARCOMANCY

 

“And all should cry, Beware! Beware!
His flashing eyes, his floating hair!
Weave a circle round him thrice,
And close your eyes with holy dread
For he on honey-dew hath fed,
And drunk the milk of Paradise”

And now we come to my wild-tier, more playful entries I (mostly) made up for special mention. And yes – that opening quote is from Kubla Khan, or Samuel Taylor Coleridge playing poetic narcomancer on opium.

Narcomancy is what I’ve coined for divination by drugs or more precisely divination by intoxication or the effect of drugs. I’m joking and serious – the serious part being is that this is how I tend to believe historical divination actually worked, because they’d slip in some drugs somewhere for visions or apparently profound insights.

While narcomancy would effectively work as a sort of drugged oneiromancy for divination, it would only be a mechanic for a school of magic, with the effective source of magic as another -mancy, but you can only tap into it while adversely affected, with fun fantasy potential for different drugs accessing different sources or types of magic.

 

RATING: 4 STARS****
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Mango margarita made and photographed by yours truly!

 

 

(14) DIPSOMANCY (MARGARITOMANCY)

 

Sometimes you drink the bottle and sometimes the bottle drinks you.

Essentially a narrower subset of narcomancy, dipsomancy is what I’ve coined for divination by alcohol or drunkeness – from the same Greek root (dipso- for thirst) that gives us dipsomania, a fancy word for alcoholism.

Again there’s some fun fantasy potential for dipsomancy as a magical way of the Drunken Master, in the style of the Jackie Chan film featuring a drunken martial arts style, but for divination or magic.

Bonus points for margaritomancy – finally a method of divination or school of magic for which I’ve spent my whole drinking life in training! Sadly, the actual definition of margaritomancy does not, in fact, involve the cocktail of my signature drink, but pearls – from the Greek root word for pearl. That won’t stop me continue to train as a cocktail margaritomancer

 

 

RATING: 4 STARS****
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The iconic disco scene of John Travolta dancing to the Bee Gees “You Should Be Dancing” in the 1977 film “Saturday Night Fever” by Paramount Pictures. By the way, the woman in the green dress behind him (whom he abandons for his dance solo) was Fran Drescher

 

(15) DISCOMANCY

 

Yes, I made this one up, for latter day dervishes as it were, prompted by my other invention dipsomancy – with which one suspects discomancy would commonly overlap.

Yes, it’s a playful reference to the visual or sensory ambience of participants in contemporary dance music having something of the same dramatic or ritual resonance of divination or magic.

Also shufflemancy – a contemporary neologism actually used by some people today essentially as a type of cledonomancy (or clamancy) from the random selection of music playlists.

But as usual with these playful entries, I’m joking and I’m serious – the serious part being the long history of ecstatic dance or music in magic or religion, probably going back into prehistory and often to the point of metaphysical significance of cosmos or life itself as a dance. After all, are we not all dancers to the beat of our own hearts?

Famously, there’s the depiction of Shiva as Nataraja or Lord of the Dance – and manic dancing was also the ecstatic schtick of Dionysus and the Maenads.

It’s even in the Bible – perhaps most famously with Salome and her Dance of the Seven Veils, albeit not so much in the text itself (which omits even her name), and which may or may not have its origin in myths of the goddess Ishtar.

There’s also King David dancing “before the Lord with all his might”, much to the disapproval of his wife as his dancing left little to the imagination of female viewers. That’s right – it’s the Old Testament meets Magic Mike.

In some ways, it would be a type of somatomancy, using the (dancing) human body and its movements as a source of divination or magic (by either participants or spectators). It could potentially be even a type of theriomancy, particularly for ‘dances’ that imitated or invoked animal movements, or one of the elemental forms of divination or magic for dance imitating the movements of air, fire or water. It’s not much of a conceptual leap from the martial arts style of movements for the bending in Avatar to dance.

In a nutshell, similarly to other entries, it would seem more a mechanism for invoking divination or magic from other sources – again with fun fantasy potential for different dances or dance styles accessing different sources or types of magic.

After all, there’s the whole Dungeons and Dragons class of bard for evoking magic (and other things) using music, which is pretty silly when you think about it. As Elan the bard said of his class in the webcomic The Order of the Stick – “You walk into dungeons and SING at people. Who could take that seriously?”

And I for one am all here for taking to that to the next level with dungeon dance-offs. (Although I’m pretty sure there’s prestige classes or rules for adapting bards to dance as it is in the game – even memes of orc bard dancers).

 

RATING: 4 STARS****
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Fritz Leiber “Our Lady of Darkness” – cover of edition published by Orb Books in 2010

 

(16) MEGAPOLISOMANCY

 

Are you a lucky little lady in the city of light?

I didn’t make this one up – fantasy and SF writer Fritz Leiber did, the plot concept behind his literal urban fantasy novel Our Lady of Darkness.

Essentially it’s a type of divination or magic formed from large cities (Leiber’s city of residence San Francisco), that essentially coalesced from the psychic energy (in the Jungian sense) of masses of people.

It’s proved a particularly resonant concept, both for me personally and for the fantasy genre since. Neil Gaiman did something of a spin on it with his magical underground London Below in Neverwhere – I particularly like how each city has its mystical Beast at its heart.

And I understand N.K. Jemisin is doing something similar with human avatars of cities in her Great Cities series.

 

RATING: 4 STARS****
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16th century German half-hour sand glass, Metropolitan Museum of Art (New York City) – public domain image Wikipedia article “Hourglass”

 

(17) CHRONOMANCY

 

“Mastery is achieved when telling time becomes telling time what to do”

Funnily enough, Wikipedia does feature chronomancy among its methods of divination in terms similar to geomancy but with respect to time rather than space – the divination of the best or most propitious time to do something, or the determination of lucky and unlucky days.

Although arguably all divination is ultimately a form of chronomancy – in so far as it looks through time to the past or future.

However, the more popular usage of chronomancy is with respect to magic for moving through or manipulating time – potentially the most ridiculously overpowered form of magic if given full force.

And with a little imagination, it can adapt or replicate the usual schools of magic in Dungeons and Dragons in some form or other. Divination is straightforward, but also conjuration of anything from any time, such as dinosaurs.

And so on through time transmutation even to some sort of weird time necromancy with enough imagination or lateral thinking – time ghosts or time zombies, anyone?

 

RATING: 4 STARS****
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Shadowrun tabletop game 1st edition cover – fantasy cyberpunk game which coined the term technomancer

 

(18) TECHNOMANCY

 

“Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic”

Technomancy is an odd chimera of a beast, given that technology sort of goes against the whole point of magic – technology is functional magic that actually works.

As such, technomancy tends not to be used as divination but a form of magic or other ability that pops up in certain works of fantasy, usually contemporary or urban fantasy in settings with technology, or occasional SF.

Sometimes it is styled as technopathy (or to a lesser extent machine empathy) – “someone who can control machines and bend them to the user’s will, either through a physical or mental interface link. In some cases, this power also allows them to ‘hear’ what a machine is ‘thinking’ and establish a direct line of communication with the machine”.

It could also be used for magic from technology in SF– where technology is used to replicate magic, occasionally in ways unknown to or forgotten by the people using it – or potentially for where magic is used to power what otherwise appears as technology in certain fantasy settings.

Still, there is fun fantasy potential in combining technology with magic. I’d like to imagine it as a form of magic in a post-apocalyptic fantasy setting using relics from a technological past – or flipping it on its head with an anti-technopath, for someone (or something) that is magically destructive to technology.

 

RATING: 4 STARS****
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Neuromancer by William Gibson – cover art by Josan Gonzalez (Deathburger) for the Brazilian edition in 2016 (and French edition in 2020)

 

(19) NEUROMANCY

 

“What’s your name? Your Turing code. What is it?”
“Neuromancer…Neuro from the nerves, the silver paths. Romancer. Necromancer”.

I didn’t make this one up – the godfather of cyberpunk, William Gibson, did.

Well, technically, he only made up Neuromancer for the title (and titular character) of his landmark 1984 book, but I can’t compile a top ten and special mentions for -mancy without featuring it.

Neuromancer is an AI, in the SF superintelligence sense but neuromancy might well be regarded as the cyberspace hacking that drives the plot and is the forte of the protagonist console cowboy.

Or think the Matrix, since the film franchise borrowed much from Neuromancer, including the term matrix. Of course, it’s not actual magic but technology and skill – in Neuromancer at least, not so sure about the Matrix.

As a method of divination or type of magic, it is essentially cybermancy, which in turn is effectively a subset of technomancy narrowed to computers and computing.

Oh – and Neuromancer wasn’t kidding about the necromancer part, metaphorically at least, since it can create sentient copies or simulations of people’s consciousness in cyberspace, potentially persisting beyond the original.

 

RATING: 4 STARS****
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Theatrical release poster art by Boris Vallejo for National Lampoon’s Vacation (Warner Bros 1983) spoofing the trope of the Conan pose or leg cling and evoking the spirit of nymphomancy – certainly Chevy Chase seems to be something of a nymphomancer for Christie Brinkley in the film

 

 

(20) NYMPHOMANCY

 

Bow Chicka Wow Wow

Yes – I am a nymphomancer. No – I refuse to elaborate. I’ve already said too much.

For mine is the adventurous bed and questing beast, deus sex machina and hieros gamos.

And yes – it is part of my rule in my top tens to throw in a kinky entry amidst my wilder special mentions, usually as my final (twentieth) special mention, at least where the subject matter permits.

Although seriously, there is quite a bit of justification for sex in divination or magic – and even more potential for it in fantasy. I mean, I’m pretty sure I could adapt most of Dungeons and Dragons to nymphomancy.

 

RATING: 4 STARS****
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Free “divine gallery” art sample – OldWorldGods

 

TOP TENS – MYTHOLOGY:
TOP 10 MANCY
(SPECIAL MENTION)

And here are all twenty special mentions in one list

S-TIER (GODDESS TIER)

(1) GYNOMANCY

“Frenzied women from whose lips the god speaks” – divination or magic of or by women

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My casino trinity of mancy:

(2) CHARTOMANCY – CARTOMANCY (TAROMANCY)

Divination or magic by paper – foremost cartomancy or divination or magic by cards (particularly taromancy – divination or magic by Tarot cards)

(3) CLEROMANCY – ASTRAGALOMANCY

Divination or magic by casting (lots) – foremost astragalomancy or divination or magic by casting dice

(4) CYCLOMANCY (GYROMANCY)

Wheel of Fortune!

Cyclomancy is where you spin the wheel (and gyromancy is where the wheel spins you)

Other top-tier special mention

(5) NOMANCY / ONOMANCY

“The name is the thing and the true name is the true thing” – the divination or magic of (true) names

(6) ARITHMANCY

Lucky numbers and sacred geometry – the divination or magic of numbers

(7) BOTANOMANCY

“The force that through the green fuse drives the flower” – divination or magic by plants

( 8 ) CRYPTOMANCY

Omens and portents

(9) CLEDONOMANCY (CLAMANCY & CHRESMOMANCY)

Serendipity and synchronicity – cledonomancy is divination by chance events or overheard words, foremost clamancy or divination by random shouts or cries heard in crowds (although I also have a soft spot for chresmomancy or divination by the ravings of lunatics, or its contemporary equivalent of X).

(10) XENOMANCY

“A prophet is never accepted in his home town”

The divination and magic of strangers, stranger kings, stranger things…and aliens?

B-TIER (HIGH TIER)

(11) ABACOMANCY

“I will show you fear in a handful of dust” – divination or magic by dust…or my excuse for not cleaning my home

(12) SCIOMANCY

“And I will show you something different from either
Your shadow at morning striding behind you
Or your shadow at evening rising to meet you”

Literally a divination or magic from or of shadows

X-TIER (WILD TIER)

And now we come to my wild-tier, more playful entries I (mostly) made up for special mention

(13) NARCOMANCY

“And all should cry, Beware! Beware!
His flashing eyes, his floating hair!
Weave a circle round him thrice,
And close your eyes with holy dread
For he on honey-dew hath fed,
And drunk the milk of Paradise”

Divination or magic by drugs or more precisely divination by intoxication or the effect of drugs

(14) DIPSOMANCY (MARGARITOMANCY)

Sometimes you drink the bottle and sometimes the bottle drinks you.

Essentially a narrower subset of narcomancy, dipsomancy is what I’ve coined for divination by alcohol or drunkeness

Bonus points for margaritomancy – finally a method of divination or school of magic for which I’ve spent my whole drinking life in training…sadly, the actual definition of margaritomancy does not, in fact, involve the cocktail of my signature drink, but pearls

(15) DISCOMANCY

Yes, I made this one up, for latter day dervishes as it were, prompted by my other invention dipsomancy – with which one suspects discomancy would commonly overlap. Divination or magic by dance

(16) MEGAPOLISOMANCY

Are you a lucky little lady in the city of light?

I didn’t make this one up – fantasy and SF writer Fritz Leiber did, the plot concept behind his literal urban fantasy novel Our Lady of Darkness for divination or magic formed from large cities.

(17) CHRONOMANCY

“Mastery is achieved when telling time becomes telling time what to do”

Divination or magic using time itself

(18) TECHNOMANCY

“Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic” – or in this case, divination or magic using technology (or technopathy)

(19) NEUROMANCY (CYBERMANCY)

I didn’t make this one up – the godfather of cyberpunk, William Gibson, did.

(20) NYMPHOMANCY

Bow Chicka Wow Wow

Yes – I am a nymphomancer. No – I refuse to elaborate. I’ve already said too much.

Top Tens – Mythology: Top 10 Mancy (Complete Top 10)

Free ‘divine gallery’ sample art from OldWorldGods

 

It’s my top 10 mancy list. I’m talking the suffix -mancy, ultimately originating from the Greek manteia (of itself or through the Latin mantia), for divination.

I could have called it top ten methods of divination, but where’s the fun in that? A top ten mancy list is just more fun and I do indeed have my criteria that each entry must have the suffix. Also, while the suffix -mancy technically only connotes divination, it has been used more widely for systems or types of magic in general.

This conflation of the suffix -mancy to connote both divination in particular and magic in general is not entirely misplaced. After all, divination tends to operate by or be a type of magic.

Indeed, it is arguably the primary purpose for which people have sought to use magic, rivalled only by protective magic – apotropaic magic as it is more technically known, or abjuration as it is called as a “school” of magic in Dungeons and Dragons.

It is also not a stretch to regard all magic as ultimately originating in divination, divining the secret knowledge and cosmic power underlying magic itself. So much so in editions of Dungeons and Dragons, while one could pick and choose between schools of magic, the one compulsory school was divination.

But I digress – for the purposes of my top ten mancy list, I look at each -mancy in terms of ranking it both as a method of divination in particular and as a ‘school’ of magic in general.

And now to the suffix itself, there is an almost overwhelming number of variants of divination (or magic) with that suffix -mancy, and their sheer abundance has always fascinated me. In part that reflects the ease by which one can coin such a word, usually by combining a Latin or Greek root word with -mancy. However, it predominantly reflects connoting forms of divination actually used by people as observed or recorded in history or anthropology – as people have used almost anything and everything as the magical means of divination.

Of course, some or even many are incredibly esoteric or obscure as a result – to use just one example to illustrate, belomancy (or bolomancy) is the art of divination by use of arrows. I have preferred broader brush strokes for my top ten or special mention, although entries might include more specialized methods of divination within their general theme.

Finally, it goes without saying that the top ten or special mentions does not reflect any personal beliefs in methods of divination or forms of magic, just my interest in them. It’s one of my dreams to walk in on an appointment with a psychic, smack them in the head, and exclaim “didn’t see that one coming?” – or just for all purported psychics to be prosecuted for fraud.

So here is my Top 10 Mancy list, all in the one post compiled from their previous individual entries (and also in their own page).

 

Photo – Wikipedia “Palmistry” (Creative Commons licensing – www.psychic2tarot.com)

 

(10) SOMATOMANCY – CHIROMANCY

 

“Man is the measure of all things”

It’s perhaps not surprising that one of the first basic tools likely to have been used by humans for divination (or magic) is the human body itself – which is what somatomancy is, divination by the human form or body.

Of course, it tends to be more specialized to parts of the body. My top pick is chiromancy, divination using the palms of hands, or as it is better known, palmistry – which apparently had such a high profile that it was classified as one of the seven “forbidden arts” in the Renaissance and was actively suppressed by the Church.

As for the balance of a top ten within my top ten – a top ten for somatomancy – my nominations are…

2 Amniomancy – divination by the placenta (or caul)
3 Cephalonomancy – divination by the skull. (Historically it tended to use animal skulls but I’m adapting it to phrenology)
4 Maculomancy – divination by spots on the skin
5 Oculomancy or opthalmancy – divination by the eyes
6 Omphalomancy – divination by the navel (or the ultimate navel-gazing)
7 Onychyomancy – divination by fingernails and toenails
8 Podomomancy – divination by the soles of the feet
9 Trichomancy – divination by hair. Okay – I’ve just coined that using the Greek word for hair
10 Phallomancy – divination by the phallus (or swing of the phallus). Disappointingly, while Wikipedia includes phallomancy in its list of methods of divination, there is no further entry or details for it – but it is kind of how I divine everything in life…

Sadly, the various forms of somatomancy rank in the tail end of my top ten for a reason – and then by virtue of the prevalence of chiromancy or palmistry, even today.

As a method of divination, most forms of somatomancy seem somewhat limited to a one-off basis, given the fixed nature of the bodily attributes they use, and only to divine the future or qualities for the individuals to whom the parts of the body belong.

Similarly, somatomancy seems limited as a school of magic. After all, the whole point of magic is to transcend or at least extend human limitations (or those of nature), particularly those of the human body.

Although with a little imagination or fantasy, it has substantial potential. At very least, one can adapt somatomancy to a system of magic that uses bodily attributes, gestures or movements as the components of magic, whether for the wider schools of magic in Dungeons and Dragons, or something like the ‘bending’ of elements in Avatar incorporating martial art style movements.

Indeed, higher levels of magic could require higher levels of athleticism or physical ability, disposing of that “squishy wizard” trope in Dungeons and Dragons or similar fantasy. No more stats-maxxing intelligence at the expense of strength or dexterity. Building on that, with the almost infinite variety of physical attributes (or sports) from which to draw, one can propose that different physical attributes could underlie different types or schools of magic. Athleticism on land could underlie very different magic from that of skill in swimming or diving and so on. Similarly strength or endurance could involve very different magic from speed, agility or dexterity and so on, more so if one extends it to other qualities such as physical beauty.

Similarly, one might propose different schools of magic that are specialized by aspects or parts of the body – it doesn’t take too much to adapt the magic school of illusion (or divination for that matter) in Dungeons and Dragons to one of eyes and ears (or more widely the senses), or the magic school of enchantment to one of mouth and voice, and so on.

Even if we stick to somatomancy as a school of magic in a more literal sense, one might propose it effectively as a form of conjuration of (or transmutation to) any peak human ability or attribute. That is, to conjure up for oneself the peak ability of any Olympic athlete, the peak immunity or resistance to disease, and so on, at any time or in any combination.

Even more so if we extend somatomancy as a form of fantasy transhumanism – to extend, project or perfect bodily attributes or abilities beyond existing peaks, as indeed is often attributed to Asian mystical arts. For example, to achieve longevity or even immortality, “diamond body” and so on…

 

RATING: 4 STARS****
A-TIER (TOP TIER)

 

 

Photo Canadian geese flying in V-formation (“Bird” – Wikipedia) by John Benson on Flickr -Creative Commons Attribution Generic 2.0 Licence https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/deed.en

 

 

 

(9) THERIOMANCY – ORNITHOMANCY

 

The way of animal powers

Similarly to my previous entry for somatomancy, theriomancy, or divination by animals, is likely one of the first methods of divination in human history – or prehistory.

After all, prehistoric humans depended on closely observing animal behavior, including in effect to divine patterns from that behavior, so it was not much of a conceptual leap to divine patterns beyond animal behaviour altogether to other things or forces in the natural or supernatural worlds.

And of course there is the contemporary ritual theriomancy of Groundhog Day.

Again similarly to my previous entry for somatomancy, theriomancy tends to be more specialized to particular animals or types of animal.

My top pick has to go to ornithomancy & alectryomancy – the former is divination by birds (or the flight of birds), with the most famous being the Roman practice of augury (from Latin for looking at birds) and the latter is literally divination using a rooster or roosters, but also more broadly chickens or other fowl.

This is because of its historical documentation or prevalence, particularly in classical Greek or Roman history, in turn perhaps reflecting how birds have always seemed to earthbound humans as liminal beings between heaven and earth.

One form of alectryomancy involved divination using a bird or number of birds, ideally a rooster or cockerel, pecking at grains which are scattered on letters and interpreting meaning from the letters or words spelt out. Something of that may survive in the apocryphal story of the western Roman emperor Honorius and his favorite chicken.

Close runner-up is apantomancy, or divination by chance or random encounters with animals.

As for the balance of another top ten within my top ten – a top ten for theriomancy – I’m going to stick to alphabetical order as their individual details are somewhat scant

3 Ailuromancy – cats
4 Arachnomancy & entomomancy (myrmomancy) – the former is divination by spiders and the latter is divination by insects (with myrmomancy being divination by ants). The former is something I’d imagine as being used by the arachnophile Drow in Dungeons & Dragons – and as an arachnophobe, I see it as the most evil method of divination, even more so than my top ten entry famed for being evil
5 Batrachomancy – frogs
6 Canomancy & ololygamancy – divination by dogs, with the latter as divination by the howls or howlng of dogs
7 Hippomancy – horses
8 Ichthyomancy – fish
9 Myomancy – rodents, particularly mice or rats. Much like modern science and its lab testing, amirite?
10 Ophidiomancy – divination by snakes

What adders came to shed their coats?
What coiled obscene
Small serpents with soft stretching throats
Caressed Faustine?

Although I’d like to imagine it extends to delirious visions from snakebite, a la snake-handling.

Shout-out to dracomancy – included in Wikipedia’s list of methods of divination as divination (or magic) by dragons, obviously limited outside of fantasy or mythology (arguably an example of the latter is Sigurd or Sigfried gaining divinatory powers from the heart of the dragon Fafnir).

Also honorable mention to conchomancy or divination by shells.

As a method of divination, theriomancy seems to be of much wider versality than somatomancy and the same seems to go for it as a school of magic, which would seem to combine the Dungeons and Dragons class of wizard with that of druid (or perhaps medieval witches with their animal familiars).

And with a little fantasy or imagination, it has even wider potential – even if we confine ourselves to theriomancy as being a literal way of animal powers, as being able to replicate the abilities (or form) of any animal, particularly if we extend that throughout the animal kingdom including extinct animals or even microscopic fauna. There’s a reason the Dungeons and Dragons spells of polymorph or shape change are considered broken by being ridiculously overpowered. Of course, one could restrict this by proposing different schools of magic for different taxonomic divisions (or for different habitats or biomes).

 

RATING: 4 STARS****
A-TIER (TOP TIER)

 

Free ‘divine gallery’ sample art – OldWorldGods

 

 

(8) PYROMANCY

 

Burn, baby, burn!

But seriously, we come to the first of the four classical elements, with pyromancy as divination by fire or flames.

Similarly to somatomancy and theriomancy, it is likely that pyromancy was one of the first methods of divination in human history or prehistory, reflecting the importance of fire itself in human prehistory.

Fire was the first major human tool or technology – game-changing in the power it gave humans to change or shape their environment (and indeed themselves, by the ability to cook or prepare food), such that it might be compared to the Industrial Revolution. And that’s before its use in other technologies that might be similarly compared to the Industrial Revolution, such as pottery or smelting. For that matter, the Industrial Revolution itself revolved around combustion – and much of human technology before and since might be compared, literally and figuratively, to humanity holding up its flaming torch in the clearing it has made for itself with fire or combustion.

SF writer Arthur C. Clarke famously observed that any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic. Typically, we tend to apply that to our contemporary technology or projections from it, but it has also applied to technological thresholds in our history or prehistory – the use or smelting of metal for one was often compared to magic, and even more so fire itself, portrayed as magic or even divine.

“The most basic form of pyromancy is that in which the diviner observes flames, from a sacrificial fire, a candle, or another source of flame, and interprets the shapes that he or she sees within them”. However, there are several variations on pyromancy, particularly when combined with burning or casting particular substances into fire (such as salt, in one variation of alomancy or divination by salt).

There’s probably enough variations of pyromancy for yet another top ten within my top ten, but I’ll just go with some major ones here – capnomancy or divination by smoke (or movements of smoke), causimancy (or causinomancy or causimomancy) and empyromancy or divination by burning, and lampadomancy or divination by a flame or flames.

Shoutout also to carromancy (divination by melting wax) and ceromancy (divination by dripping wax in water) – which I would like to adapt to my obsession with lava lamps (lavomancy?)

As a method of divination, pyromancy would seem to have considerable potency and versatility – particularly if one combines it with visions from burning, ahem, particular substances, or smoke inhalation.

As a school of magic, it would seem to be powerful but limited in versatility – pretty much like the school of evocation in Dungeons and Dragons. Sure, it feels reassuring to stride into a dungeon loaded up with fireball spells to shoot from your fingertips, but there’s not much else one can do with that except, well, shoot fire from your fingertips.

On the other hand, one can imagine pyromancers being at the forefront of fantasy Industrial Revolutions – as firebenders and the Fire Nation were in the animated Avatar series. Also, pyromancy becomes somewhat broader if one extends it to other forms of energy, heat and light, particularly in more metaphorical senses (such as life energy or heat of passion).

 

RATING: 4 STARS****
A-TIER (TOP TIER)

 

Free ‘divine gallery’ art sample from OldWorldGods

 

 

(7) HYDROMANCY

 

Glug glug glug…

But seriously, hydromancy or divination by water has one of the longest pedigrees of any method of divination, no doubt reflecting the importance of water for human survival or life in general, and of bodies of water to human civilization or societies.

Divination by water should be distinguished from divination for water, most famously that of dowsing – or attempting to divine the location of water, typically wells or other underground bodies of water.

Just as divination for water tends towards forms of dowsing, divination by water or hydromancy tends towards forms of scrying by looking at water or bodies of water, particularly those identified as divine or sacred.

Think Galadriel’s Mirror in The Lord of the Rings – except why couldn’t it have been Galadriel’s Jacuzzi? I’m sure I’d have had many meaningful visions, particularly with Galadriel in it.

The permutations of hydromancy are almost endless, including observations of color, ebb or flow, tides or currents, ripples from pebbles or other objects cast into water, or the movement (or flotation) of objects in water.

Again, one could probably squeeze out enough drops of hydromancy for their own top ten within my top ten, but I’ll just mention two here as worthy of distinction – cryomancy or divination by ice or snow, and hydatomancy or divination by rain or rainwater. To which I’d add my own invention of flotsamancy and jetsamancy, for divination by flotsam and jetsam.

As a method of divination, hydromancy would appear to be as or even more versatile than pyromancy, although perhaps lacking quite the same potency for visions, at least from burning particular substances.

As a school of magic, hydromancy would similar seem more versatile than pyromancy – particularly if one extends it throughout all forms of water from snow and ice to clouds or mist, not to mention the full volume of it as the surface area of our planet and within our bodies or all life (in the style of blood-bending within water-bending in the Avatar series), even more so if one extended it in more metaphorical senses of cleansing, healing and life. Or ebb and flow, rhythm and tides – in the style of the metaphorical comparison of the Tao to water.

 

RATING: 4 STARS****
A-TIER (TOP TIER)

 

Free ‘divine gallery’ sample art from OldWorldGods

 

 

(6) AEROMANCY

 

What the thunder said.

Aeromancy is not so much divination from the classical element of air, given that air is invisible and intangible of itself, but more divination from atmospheric conditions or weather.

As such, it has a long pedigree in history. Obviously, humans have always been concerned with atmospheric conditions or weather, albeit perhaps more to divine those atmospheric conditions or weather themselves rather than divining other things from them – particularly for agriculture.

Still, the sky and weather readily lend themselves to expressions or perceptions of the divine or supernatural reality – storms particularly so. Even now, for me one of the primary aspects of modernity is how we have harnessed the divine power of lightning for our own use, as our prehistoric ancestors harnessed the divine power of fire.

Yet again, there’s probably enough variations of aeromancy for their own top ten, but I’ll focus on those corresponding to different atmospheric or weather conditions.

Anemomancy or austromancy – divination by wind (depending on whether one goes by the Greek or Latin root for wind)

Ceraunomancy – divination by thunder and lightning. Of course, one can divide that further into divination by lightning or astropomancy, and divination by thunder or brontomancy.

Nephomancy – divination by clouds, no doubt replicating much of that favorite childhood game of seeing shapes in clouds, as humanity was also to do with the stars (but more on that later).

Wikipedia also lists chaomancy for divination by aerial visions, and uranomancy for divination by the sky, in its long list of methods of divination, but these would seem to largely correspond with one or another of the above.

As a method of divination, aeromancy would appear to be almost as versatile as hydromancy, particularly in combination of all its variations, although similarly lacking quite the same potency for visions as pyromancy. On the other hand, divination by thunder or lighting would seem more dramatic than hydromancy – similarly to the use of thunder or lightning as effects in stage or film.

As a school of magic, aeromancy would seem similar in versatility to hydromancy, particularly if one extends it through all atmospheric or weather conditions, although they also seem to overlap in such things as clouds, fog, mist, rain, sleet and snow.

I always thought that the airbenders in Avatar were unfairly nerfed to being essentially just windbenders – anemomancers or austromancers rather than true aeromancers in our parlance of mancy. At very least, I call shenanigans in the series giving lightning to firebenders.

Indeed, there are few things in nature with such raw elemental power as storms, up there with tsunamis (for hydromancers) or volcanic eruptions and earthquakes (for pyromancers and our next entry).

Similarly to pyromancy and hydromancy, aeromancy becomes even more potent if one extends it to sound, or more metaphorical uses of air as a medium such as breath (including the breath of life) and voice.

 

RATING: 4 STARS****
A-TIER (TOP TIER)

 

Free ‘divine gallery’ art sample – OldWorldGods

 

 

(5) GEOMANCY

 

O sweet spontaneous
earth… how
often have religions taken
thee upon their scraggy knees
squeezing and

buffeting thee that thou mightest conceive
gods…
thou answerest
them only with
spring”

Standing stones, ley lines and feng shui (although technically the latter translates as wind-water)

“Geomancy is a method of divination that interprets markings on the ground or the patterns formed by tossed handfuls of soil, rocks, or sand” – which prompts me to speculate if it had origins in prehistoric tracking.

It might also extend to lithomancy, or divination by stones – or crystals, including scrying into crystals or crystal balls. Or to spelunking for visions in caves – or climbing for them on mountains (oromancy or divination by mountains). Shoutout also to topomancy or divination by geography or geological formations.

As a method of divination, geomancy seems somewhat, well, meh – lacking the versatility, potency or intensity of the other methods of divination in our top ten so far, which begs the question of its ranking above them.

To be honest, part of its top ten ranking was to complete the set of four classical elements – although that still begs the question of why it is ranked over pyromancy, hydromancy and aeromancy. However, the major part of its ranking is more as a school of magic or mysticism – channeling or harnessing the magical or mystical energy of the earth itself.

Of course, there is something of an overlap with divination, but what might be considered a more proactive form of divination – not passively attempting to divine good fortune from physical features, but actively attempting to channel or harness their energy to make good fortune, literally grounding the expression that you make your own luck.

The archetype of this active creation of good fortune is the Chinese tradition of feng shui – “manipulating the flow and direction of energy based on aesthetics, location, and position of objects and buildings”.

At its widest, that archetype of geomancy is extended to things that are broadly dubbed “Earth mysteries” in Western popular culture – including those projected back to megalithic or monumental history or prehistory. The megaliths or standing stones of Europe, pyramids in general and particularly in Egypt, so-called ley lines, and so on.

As a school of magic harnessing the power of the earth itself, geomancy ranks high in potency, even more so if one combines it with actual geology – not to mention such things as earthquakes, volcanoes, lava or earth’s molten core, geological time, tectonic plates, earth’s electromagnetic field, and gravity. Or the metaphorical or symbolic meanings of earth and ground.

 

RATING: 4 STARS****
A-TIER (TOP TIER)

 

Free ‘divine gallery’ art sample – OldWorldGods

 

 

(4) ASTROMANCY

 

The fault in our stars.

Yes – I’m talking astrology, except it should be called astromancy rather than coopting a suffix that should rightly be applied to an actual science, instead of forcing that science to go by astronomy instead.

Astromancy – divinatory astrology – needs little introduction, as it sadly persists even today, although we often overlook distinctions between different traditions of astrology. The predominant tradition is that of Western astrology, which can be traced back to Mesopotamia, although Eastern or Chinese astrology is also popular. Year of the Dragon and all that.

And as opposed to other forms of divination or magic, often seen as grubby, particularly by Christianity, astrology has always seemed to command a respectable status, even an elevated one, perhaps consistent with the heavenly bodies of its subject, typically seen as divine or gods of themselves, or at least reflecting the design of gods or God.

Again, it is likely to be one of the first methods of divination, certainly as demonstrated by its pedigree in recorded history or archaeology, but probably in prehistory.

The sensory power of the night sky and stars may be somewhat diminished to the average inhabitant of modern cities with artificial illumination (and corresponding light pollution), but its raw elemental vision loomed large to our ancestors – such that historian Geoffrey Blainey in his History of the World devoted a chapter to the impact of the night sky in history.

The night sky and stars are literally heavenly and hence archetypally divine – a compelling Rorschach test upon which humanity has avidly projected meaning.

While its root Greek word would strictly only apply to divination by the stars or their movements, astromancy or astrology (sigh) typically extends to other heavenly bodies (such as the planets). As such, it includes things that are occasionally styled as more specialized – such as heliomancy or lunamancy for sun and moon, or cometomancy for comet or their tails, and so on.

As a method of divination, astromancy is undoubtedly popular, reflecting the emotional power of the sight of heavenly bodies, but it would also seem to have the problem of its sheer scale – that is, how cosmic movements or positions can relate to individual events or people.

As a school of magic, it varies on interpretation. If limited to invoking the quality of the stars themselves, as visually impressive as they are, they don’t do much else other than shine, at least as we experience or see them, and then only at night (mostly). Although even conjuring starlight in darkness can be potent, as Frodo and Sam found in Shelob’s Lair.

Of course, astromancy become more potent if it extends to conjuring or invoking stars in all their stellar or astral symbolism or metaphor – often dreamlike, fey or ethereal in nature.

Once you throw in the moon and even more so the sun, astromancy starts playing with power. That’s particularly so if it extends to lunar symbolism or metaphor – lunacy, tides and so on. Or literal or figurative solar power – light, heat, growth, fertility (or aridity).

Ironically, if one combines the cosmic conjuration of astromancy with the actual science of stars of astronomy or astrophysics, astromancy potentially becomes ridiculously overpowered on godlike levels.

For example, conjuring cosmic forces of nuclear fusion, radiation, the speed of light and electromagnetic spectrum, gravity, time, entropy, the vacuum of space, absolute zero, supernovae, black holes and singularities. Not to mention either end of the Big Bang or heat death of the universe – and all the various theories of cosmology.

 

RATING: 5 STARS*****
S-TIER (GOD-TIER – OR SHOULD THAT BE STAR-TIER?)

 

Free ‘divine gallery’ art sample – OldWorldGods

 

 

(3) HIEROMANCY

 

“Who are these coming to the sacrifice?”

No doubt some are wondering what could exceed the cosmic power of the previous entry, astromancy? Or the elemental power of the preceding methods of divination or schools of magic?

And yes – astromancy might top the scale for sheer raw power, even absurdly so, but it lacks the conceptual force that underlies hieromancy, which is that divination or magic COSTS. When it comes to either, there is no such thing as a free lunch – particularly when it comes to breaking the normal rules of reality as they do. No snatching the secrets from the stars just by looking at them as in astrology – that’s just cheating or cutting corners.

There’s a price to be paid, in full – and very often in blood. And we all have to make sacrifices. The world is indeed a vampire, at least when it comes to divination or magic.

That can be the case even combined with other methods of divination or schools of magic. For example, one can still channel or harness power from some cosmic, elemental or other source but it needs a hieromantic payment or sacrifice, as a trigger or ignition point, as a focus or means, or as a key to unlock it.

This concept that divination or magic requires some payment or sacrifice has a logic and therefore potency to it, to avoid being reality-breaking or story-breaking if magic is too easy. For example, it is striking just how low magic The Lord of the Rings is compared to the high magic of your average Dungeons and Dragons setting. If The Lord of the Rings was a Dungeons and Dragons campaign, it could be over in a few turns by casting some sort of divination spell on the ring and magically teleporting to Mount Doom.

Strictly speaking, hieromancy is divination by sacred or holy means or objects (from the Greek root hiero- for sacred or holy), although typically that is by sacrifice. I mean, have you read all the sacrifices at the Temple prescribed by the Bible in Leviticus and those books? The place sounds like an abattoir.

The archetypal hieromancy is divination by entrails from animal sacrifices, or as it was known from Latin, haruspicy (performed by a haruspex). One might say that hieromancy is like hydromancy, except that it involves scrying blood and guts rather than water. The liver was of particular interest – hence hepatoscopy or hepatomancy.

Of course, when the chips were down, the ultimate form of hieromancy was anthropomancy – or divination from human sacrifice, again particularly by entrails of the dead or dying sacrificial victims. Perhaps it worked best if you ate the liver with some fava beans and a nice Chianti? I’d also like to imagine that when Aztec priests dressed up and danced around in the flayed skin of their sacrificial victims, that anything they said would be taken as oracular utterances.

As a method of divination, it doesn’t seem particularly instructive, other than telling that whatever was sacrificed is dead.

As a school or even more so system of magic, it has a conceptual force to it. Much like the rest of life, you get what you pay for – by exchange, payment, or sacrifice. That would also extend to contracts or Faustian pacts with divine or infernal powers.

Perhaps the archetypal hieromantic magic is the trope of blood magic (which I suppose technically might be haematomancy or hemotomancy).

“Spilling of blood is a potent force in the working of magic. It may be a token sacrifice, but it may also be the loss of life that fuels the spell. Expect mages who practice blood magic to be portrayed as evil, or at least charcoal grey, with possible exceptions made for druid like nature cults that may be considered amoral…Some blood may be indicated to be more powerful than others. Common types are human blood, monster blood, the blood of royalty, the blood of a special line, the blood of an innocent, a child’s blood, the caster’s own blood, or virgin’s blood. Sometimes only a single person’s blood has power, and any other blood is powerless. Sometimes it also makes a difference whether the blood being used was offered willingly or taken unwillingly”.

 

RATING: 5 STARS*****
S-TIER (GOD TIER – although ironically the gods and similar beings usually get their magic for free as part of their being or nature)

 

Free “divine gallery” art sample – OldWorldGods

 

 

(2) NECROMANCY

 

Dead men do tell tales!

That’s right – it’s the mancy everyone knows, virtually synonymous with evil and death or the undead in popular culture, hence its high ranking although I refuse to give it top spot.

For example, Sauron styles himself as the Necromancer in The Hobbit, although he doesn’t seem to do much actual necromancy – he probably would have done better with armies of the undead in The Lord of The Rings. Of course, he was also a vampire AND a werewolf at various points, because the First Age was trippy.

Necromancy has a far older literary pedigree – indeed the oldest, at least for the two sources of Western literary culture, the Bible and the epics of Homer, albeit the Odyssey rather than the Iliad.

The Bible has the Witch of Endor, whom Saul consults to raise the prophet Samuel from the dead. Interestingly, it is presented as working, although both Samuel and God seem pissed about it. It could also be argued to present with the same deception or trickery as a séance.

The Odyssey has the archetypal journey into the underworld by its protagonist to consult the shade of the prophet Tiresias, with the nice necromantic component of pouring out sacrificial blood to attract the dead – also perhaps demonstrating the substantial overlap with hieromancy and blood magic from the previous entry.

Interestingly, in both cases, while the necromancy involved raising or summoning the dead person, but the actual divination or prophecy part did not originate from them being dead, but that they had been prophets in life. Although Odysseus’ dead mother also has useful information for him – and I have read (and prefer) adaptations that extend the divination to other shades.

Necromancy has a pedigree older than literature or writing, as its inclusion in the Odyssey, originally an oral epic, suggests. Indeed it has probably the oldest, likely one of the first methods of divination in history or prehistory – originating from when humans first associated death or the dead with a mystical or supernatural realm, from which one could see things not seen by the living.

Strictly speaking, necromancy is defined not as the hardcore zombie apocalypse type of necromancy we see in popular culture, but only calling on or communicating with the dead for divination – divining things beyond the knowledge of the living, whether past, present or future. After all, the dead reside in eternity as opposed to time.

As such, it was not necessarily evil in origin – indeed, quite the contrary, seeking out or summoning the spirits of ancestors or dead heroes for guidance. To the extent that it extended beyond communing with ancestors or heroes, it probably involved positive aspects of keeping balance between life and death, or with the spirit realm or souls, for purposes such as healing.

“But since that’s not nearly as interesting as zombies”, necromancy in popular imagination and culture is, as I said, virtually synonymous with evil and death, or rather, the undead – the ultimate crossing lines that were not meant to be crossed between life and death, animating or controlling the dead (or generally playing with dead things).

“The career of necromancer is an excellent choice for evil-doers who are not a ‘people person’. Though some might say there is not much point to turning the earth into one gigantic graveyard, these people are fools and will never understand anyway. Good career entry points for becoming a necromancer include occultists, dabblers in voodoo, grave diggers, morticians, possessed eight-year-old girls, and inheritors of scary books wrapped in human flesh.”
— Neil Zawacki, How to be a Villain

As TV Tropes points out, necromancy commonly overlaps with the trope of necromantic (a pun of necromancy and romance) – bringing back a loved one lost to death. Also, “it’s not unheard of for a necromancer to be one of the undead themselves, often a lich. Even if they aren’t liches or other forms of undead themselves, they are likely to have unlocked other ways of prolonging their own lives to unnatural lengths. Furthermore, they may become partially undead.”

As a means of divination, it’s up there with the original and the best, the dead perhaps being second only to the divine or infernal (and often overlapping with those) in secret knowledge. Speaking of infernal, necromancy definitely overlaps with the more rarely used necyomancy (or divination by summoning damned souls) or demonomancy (or divination by demons).

As a school of magic, it is similarly one of the most powerful, if distasteful. It was notoriously overpowered in Dungeons and Dragons, such that opting out of it was effectively nerfing your wizard – although ironically the class of cleric made for better necromancers than wizards, which certainly makes me think differently of the average priest.

 

RATING: 5 STARS*****
GOD-TIER (OR IS THAT DEVIL-TIER – OR DEATH-TIER?)

 

Art from Neil Gaiman’s The Sandman graphic novel series – one of the best depictions of what is essentially oneiromancy

 

 

(1) ONEIROMANCY

 

“Your young men will see visions and your old men will dream dreams”.

Oneiromancy, or divination by dreams, may not have the brand recognition of necromancy in second top spot, but it takes out the top spot all the same.

That’s somewhat like Neil Gaiman’s Sandman series, where Dream gets top billing as the titular protagonist. In fairness, Death remains his older and more powerful sister, but she’s also nice and not at all necromantic.

On the subject of fantasy in popular culture, one of my favorite depictions of oneiromancy as the core for a fantasy or SF series is that of Robert Silverberg’s Majipoor series, particularly in the first book Lord Valentine’s Castle.

However, its top spot here goes beyond my enjoyment of Sandman or Silverberg, and for that matter a preference for dreams over death or the undead.

It can be argued – and effectively has been by anthropologist Pascal Boyer – that oneiromancy probably was the original source of all divination, not least of necromancy, or indeed, of magic and religion in general, and for much the same reason as for necromancy. That is, that we see dead people in our dreams – prompting us to believe that they live on or have some continuity in a spirit realm or supernatural reality.

As Joseph Campbell famously opined, mythology overlaps with dream – “myths are public dreams, dreams are private myths”.

Prophetic dreams and their interpretation recur surprisingly frequently in the Bible, from Genesis to the Gospels and arguably to Apocalypse. And when they are not actual dreams, it is striking how often God or angels reveal themselves by night rather than day – in divine dream-like revelations. Unlike other methods of divination, oneiromancy seems respectable or even ordained in the Bible, to the point that God himself might be styled the god of dreams.

Biblical oneiromancy is only one of many throughout world mythology – with written or literary records including manuals of dream interpretation dating back to the beginning of recorded history in Mesopotamia.

And one might say we’re still at it – with modern psychology originating as a form of oneiromancy, not least with that landmark work The Interpretation of Dreams by that leading modern (sexual) oneiromancer, Freud.

In turn, this originates with the raw and vivid emotional power of dreams for each of us. Who among us does not secretly believe that our dreams are true or meaningful in some transcendent way? Although, I always recall a quip that dreams can mean everything and nothing – or that dreams are the bowel movements of the brain.

It does not seem an exaggeration to suggest that all divination is ultimately a form of oneiromancy, whether by way of using dreams and visions as a focus for divination, or by similar means of symbolic interpretation.

Nor does it seem an exaggeration to suggest that all magic is also ultimately a form of oneiromancy – essentially acts of lucid dreaming to shape reality to our imagination, or to impose dream-logic on reality to make it fluid like dreams.

At very least, oneiromancy would seem to be a straightforward one-on-one correspondence to the schools of enchantment and illusion in Dungeons and Dragons, but readily also adapts every other school of magic, perhaps most vividly conjuration and transmutation by dream-logic. Also abjuration – necromancy too if one counts nightmares.

Nor does it seem exaggeration to style all supernatural reality as the Dreaming, as in indigenous Australian culture, which has been widely adopted by popular culture well beyond its original context.

The versatility and power of oneiromancy was perhaps best stated in the Sandman, where the titular personification of dream confronts the powers of hell, mocking him that he has no power there. He replies simply what power would hell have if those in it could not dream of heaven? And of course one might say that heaven and hell are but themselves dreams, albeit fever dreams for the latter.

 

RATING: 5 STARS*****
S-TIER (GOD-TIER – OR IS THAT DREAM-TIER?)

 

 

 

 

TOP TENS – MYTHOLOGY:
TOP 10 MANCY (TIER LIST)

 

S-TIER (GOD-TIER)

(1) ONEIROMANCY
Divination or magic using dreams

(2) NECROMANCY
Divination or magic using the dead…and undead

(3) HIEROMANCY
“Who are these coming to the sacrifice?” – sacrificial divination or blood magic

(4) ASTROMANCY
The fault in our stars – divination or magic using stars, planets and other celestial phenomena

 

A-TIER (TOP TIER)

Divination or magic using the classical elements

(5) GEOMANCY
Earth – standing stones, ley lines and feng shui

(6) AEROMANCY
Air or atmospheric conditions / weather

(7) HYDROMANCY
Water

(8) PYROMANCY
Fire

(9) THERIOMANCY – ORNITHOMANCY
The way of animal powers – divination or magic using animals (with ornithomancy using birds or augury)

(10) SOMATOMANCY – CHIROMANCY
“Man is the measure of all things” – divination or magic using the human form or body (with chiromancy using the palms of the hands or palmistry)

Top Tens – Film: Top 10 Films (10) David Leitch – The Fall Guy (2024)

Theatrical release poster art

 

(10) DAVID LEITCH –

THE FALL GUY (2024)

 

My wildcard tenth place entry for best non-genre film for 2024 goes to The Fall Guy, the most fun I’ve had in a cinema this year so far. And what’s not to love about a movie filmed and set in Australia? (Sydney in case you were wondering).

 

Just like Bullet Train did before it in 2022 as another film directed by David Leitch – and I wouldn’t be surprised if Leitch manages to keep doing it. Bullet Train was probably quirkier fun that The Fall Guy but the latter has a broader and more easy-going charm.

 

Leitch just makes fun popcorn-munching films with standout action set pieces, not surprisingly from his background as a stunt performer – including as stunt double for Brad Pitt (who starred as the protagonist in Bullet Train).

 

His (uncredited) directorial debut was a little film in 2014 called John Wick. He followed that up with Atomic Blonde and its gritty action scenes revolving around Charlize Theron as protagonist – which with Bullet Train and The Fall Guy would comprise my holy trinity of Leitch films to date.

 

Yes – I love John Wick but it’s not pure Leitch as he was co-director with the credited director Chad Stehelski. He also directed Deadpool 2 and Hobbs & Shaw but they’re not quite in the same league as the trinity.

 

As for The Fall Guy, what more do you need to know than it broke a Guiness World Record for the most cannon rolls in a car?

 

Okay, okay – perhaps a little more but it’s clearly Leitch directing “a love letter to stunts” in tribute to his former career, using practical stunts in highly choreographed action sequences and a nice nod to just what goes into bringing an action sequence to the screen. For the record – and I’m sure it’s part of the film’s joke – the film within the film looks as if it would be terrible and cheesily over the top.

 

Beyond that it’s an action-comedy film like its predecessor Bullet Train, but in its case loosely based on the 1980s TV series about stunt performers (so keep an eye out for those cameos from the series). Ryan Gosling is his usual charismatic self as the stuntman protagonist “working on his ex-girlfriend’s (Emily Blunt) directorial debut action film, only to find caught up in a conspiracy involving the film’s lead actor” – played by Bullet Train alumni (and future James Bond) Aaron Taylor-Johnson.

 

And it’s hoot, even if (or perhaps especially as) the plot veers into the usual absurdity of action films.

 

FANTASY & SF

 

I suppose you could count the film within the film – an SF film of alien war or invasion. However – few fantasy or SF elements in the film itself unless you count drug hallucinations or the suspension of disbelief from just how absurd the plot gets.

 

COMEDY

 

Definitely comedic elements – so much so that you could probably rank it as a comedy, but I feel the action looms larger, particularly in those exquisitely choreographed and crafted stunts.

 

 

RATING: 4 STARS****
X-TIER (WILD TIER)

Top Tens – Mythology: Top 10 Mythologies (Special Mention – Complete)

Free “divine gallery” art sample from Old World Gods

 

I don’t have a religion – I have a mythology.

Indeed, I have a top ten of them – and I have a whole host of special mentions for mythological subjects. My usual rule is twenty special mentions for each top ten, where the subject matter is prolific enough, as it is here – which I suppose would usually make each top ten a top thirty if you want to look at it that way. My special mentions are also where I usually have some fun with the subject category and splash out with some wilder entries.

 

 

Free “divine gallery” art sample – OldWorldGods

 

(1) PAGANISM

 

I believe in all the gods –
especially the goddesses

The mythos I call home – which I playfully refer to as my pagan catholicism.

Also the ethos I call home – that classical Greek pagan ethos encapsulated by Weston La Barre, “live valiantly, gloriously and joyously in the world”.

Let’s face it – it’s my mythos, ethos, eros and hieros gamos.
For mine is the passion play, grail quest, ghost dance and mojo rising.

And yes – I know paganism is not in itself a mythology or religion, but rather a loose amorphous agglomeration of mythologies or religions, usually identified with ‘pre-Christian’ Europe, whether prior to the advent of Christianity or their conversion to it.

And not even that to start with –
“It is crucial to stress right from the start that until the 20th century, people did not call themselves pagans to describe the religion they practised. The notion of paganism, as it is generally understood today, was created by the early Christian Church. It was a label that Christians applied to others…as such, throughout history it was generally used in a derogatory sense”.

Pagan apparently originated from Latin paganus – essentially to connote rural (as opposed to the more Christianised urban population of the later Roman empire), or civilian by the Roman army and hence adopted by Christians to distinguish themselves as “soldiers of Christ” (although I seem to recall the Roman army was big on Mithras until late in the piece).

“The adoption of paganus by the Latin Christians as an all-embracing, pejorative term for polytheists represents an unforeseen and singularly long-lasting victory, within a religious group, of a word of Latin slang originally devoid of religious meaning. The evolution occurred only in the Latin west, and in connection with the Latin church”.

Apparently elsewhere and at other times, “Hellene or gentile remained the word for pagan; and paganos continued as a purely secular term, with overtones of the inferior and the commonplace”.

Which suits me as my paganism is essentially a fusion of Hellenism (alternating with Romanitas) and humanism, with Dionysianism thrown in for the fun of it.

“Owing to the history of its nomenclature, paganism traditionally encompasses the collective pre- and non-Christian cultures in and around the classical world; including those of the Greco-Roman, Celtic, Germanic, and Slavic tribes” – with those of Germanic tribes of course being best known through Norse mythology.

Although I think that overlooks the sphere of Roman Empire beyond Europe, notably in the near East – because I’m determined to get those funky animal-headed Egyptian deities and slinky goddesses in there as well.

“However, modern parlance of folklorists and contemporary pagans in particular has extended the original four millennia scope used by early Christians to include similar religious traditions stretching far into prehistory.”

And some would argue also well beyond Europe, pretty much to all mythologies or religions outside of Christianity, Judaism, Islam or variants of those – with Hinduism, Taoism, Shinto, native American and African diaspora religions looming large in such arguments.

I have a soft spot for the nomenclature of paleopaganism and neopaganism (by neo-pagan Isaac Bonewits), although they are also somewhat amorphous (even more so for his mesopaganism, which largely overlaps with the argument for extending paganism throughout non-Abrahamic mythologies or religions of the world).

Paleopaganism essentially refers to the original ‘paganism’ prior to Christianity – largely unknowable as religious practice, although we come closest with classical Greco-Roman paganism due to the surviving texts.

Neopaganism refers to the modern reconstruction of paganism, which arguably has led to its own distinctive mythology (or synthesis of mythology) – and in the opinion of Ronald Hutton, a distinctively modern religion “and the only religion England has ever given the world” (at least for Wicca or modern ‘witchcraft’, the predominant form of neo-paganism).

I also have a soft spot for polytheism, often asserted as the defining feature of paganism. Monotheism is monopoly! Let the marketplace of gods – and goddesses – decide! A polytheistic view of the world just seems more cheerful and easy-going, where gods can rub shoulders – or other parts – together.

Although paganism is more complex than a straightforward matter of polytheism versus monotheism. Paganism essentially had as many different philosophical variants as Hinduism – including monotheistic or at least henotheistic variants, as well as more outright atheistic, agnostic or humanist variants.

The more popular variants of modern paganism or neopaganism tend more towards either a duotheism of overarching female and male deities, or a goddess monotheism of an overarching sacred feminine or divine female figure. With the emphasis on figure in some cases – but I’m down with that. She is the goddess and this is her body.

I believe in L.A Woman & Mr Mojo Risin’.

 

RATING: 5 STARS*****
S-TIER (GOD-TIER – OR IS THAT GODDESS-TIER?)

 

Free “divine gallery” art sample – OldWorldGods

 

(2) SHAMANISM

 

I am a shaman in the tribe of catholicism –

a voice crying for a vision,

animal powers and spirit guides,

true names and song lines,

second sight and third eye.

 

After paganism, the second of my holy trinity of mythic worlds – the mythos that I playfully refer to as my shaman catholicism.

Also like paganism, as much my ethos as mythos – “but then the awesome mysterious world will open its mouth for you, as it will open for every one of us, and then you will realise that your sure ways were not sure at all”.

And yes – again like paganism, I know shamanism is not so much an individual mythology or religion, but rather an amorphous agglomeration of mythologies or religions, but on on an even potentially larger scale in space and time.

Strictly speaking, shamanism refers to the indigenous religions of Siberia and neighbouring parts of Asia, with the word shaman itself orginating from the language there.

But where’s the fun in speaking strictly? And so shamanism has been used in a very broad sense, arguably the broadest sense of any mythology or religion – ranging through space to tribal religions on every (populated) continent, and even more broadly in time, through so-called deep history to prehistoric or primal religion.

Peter Watson in The Great Divide hypothesizes that the pre-Columbian Americas was essentially shamanic, having remained the most so (since crossing into the Americas from Siberia) and certainly more so than Eurasia, not least because of the high concentration of psychedelic or psychotropic plants.

While Weston La Barre in The Ghost Dance hypothesizes that all religion is essentially shamanic in nature – and all religions are ghost dances at heart.

As for shamanism itself, animism is often asserted as its defining feature – and there is certainly something appealing in an animistic view of the world. Perhaps its primary definitive feature is its focus on states of altered consciousness – archetypally through psychedelic or psychotropic substances – as thresholds to the spirit world or otherworld.

And again, like paganism, I have a soft spot for the nomenclature of paleoshamanism and neoshamanism – with paleoshamanism as the original forms of shamanism, potentially very paleo indeed back to the Paleolithic, and neoshamanism as modern reconstructions.

“When a vision comes into the world…it comes into the world with terror like a thunderstorm…if the vision was true and mighty, I know it is true and mighty yet, for such things are of the spirit and it is in the darkness of their eyes that men get lost”.

 

RATING: 5 STARS*****
S-TIER (GOD-TIER – OR IS THAT GREAT SPIRIT TIER?)

 

Free ‘divine gallery’ sample art from OldWorldGods

 

(3) ZEN

 

I believe in the god of doubt –
the sound of one hand clapping,
a tree falling in a forest,
a finger pointing at the moon,
your face before you were born,
the goose in a bottle,
and three pounds of flax.

 

Along with paganism and shamanism, the third of my holy trinity of mythic worlds – the mythos that I playfully refer to as my zen catholicism.

And along with paganism and shamanism, as much my ethos as mythos – “you wake up in the morning and the world is so beautiful you can hardly stand it”

And yes, again like paganism and shamanism, I know zen is not a mythology as such. One could even argue for it as non-mythic or anti-mythic, particularly given its non-theistic nature. (I say non-theistic – it might be described as atheistic, but zen has always struck me as having an agnostic and complete lack of concern as to the existence or effect of gods in our lives).

And yes I know it is an active contemporary religion – or more precisely a ‘school’ or sect within the contemporary (and historical) religion of Buddhism.

However, I occasionally use mythology in a broader sense, even for a religion in which the focus is practice or experience and insight into the nature of things rather than belief. And for a religion that eschews mythology (or theology), it can resemble a mythology but of Zen masters rather than gods or heroes, the pursuit of enlightenment rather than quests or battles, and parables or the proverbial mind-bending Zen koans rather than epic adventures – from its legendary origin in the Buddha’s flower sermon onwards.

My horns won’t fit through the door!

 

RATING: 5 STARS*****
S-TIER (GOD-TIER)

 

21 The Universe – Crowley Thoth Tarot (artist Lady Frieda Harris)

 

 

(4) TAROT

 

“I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died” – Steve Wright

Ironically, Tarot cards appear to have originated as just that – a more mundane medium for playing card games – but subsequently acquired their mystique as a means for divination, often in popular culture with dire portents Wright played on for his joke.

Of course it helps that they were designed with or evolved such vivid and on occasions violent imagery. It is striking how many cards have death or underworld imagery, such as the generally sorrowful suit of Swords, but of course also in the Major Arcana – above all its well-known Death card. Their rich visual symbolism has been a source of tarot motifs or even themed decks in popular culture. And it has been hugely influential for me personally, comparable to my god-tier mythologies or books of mythology, such if you were to peel back the layers of my psyche you’d find a pack of Tarot cards deep within it, although I don’t believe in it (or anything else) as a source of magic divination.

And yes – I have special mention entries for the Tarot for both my Top 10 Mythology Books and my Top 10 Mythologies. The former is for the various Tarot card decks, the latter is for the mythos of the Tarot itself and its cards. Indeed, I could do (and will) Tarot top tens for both decks and cards.

Not bad for a late medieval or Renaissance version of poker, although the more correct analogy might perhaps be games of trumps such as five hundred (my personal childhood favorite – which may also account for my love of the Tarot at the same time).

And as for the mythos of the Tarot, it arises from its modern esoteric mystique (in turn reconstructed from other European mythic art or symbolism), particularly that of the Major Arcana or “trumps”, which popular culture tends to usually or even exclusively view as the Tarot. Not surprisingly, since the Minor Arcana more closely resemble modern mundane playing cards – similarly four suits of cards numbered from ones (aces) to tens with four court cards, generally with knights as well as the three modern court cards of kings, queens and jacks (or pages or princesses).

Anyway, while the mythos of the Tarot lacks a pantheon of gods as such, it does have the archetypal images or titles of the Major Arcana which substitutes for it, perhaps not unlike the nameless titled deities (or aspects of deity) in the Game of Thrones known as the Seven – the Mother, the Stranger and so on. And in its modern form, the Major Arcana even has its own mythic narrative, essentially a version of the archetypal hero’s journey, with the Fool (traditionally numbered zero) as its hero.

So here goes, by numbered cards of the Arcana (although there are some variations in numbering and titles between decks):

0 – The Fool sets out on his quest, innocence in search of experience, poised to fall or fly. But first, he is initiated by various figures:
1 – The Magician, ‘male’ archetype of magic or knowledge, “the achieve of, the mastery of the thing” (or brother figure)
2 – The High Priestess, ‘female’ archetype of magic or mystery (or sister figure)
3 – The Empress, ‘female’ archetype of power and nature (or mother figure)
4 and 5 – The Emperor and Hierophant, ‘male’ archetypes of worldly and otherworldly power (or father figures)
6 – The Lovers. The Fool encounters or falls in love and faces choices
7 – The Chariot. The Fool goes to war or wins worldly victory
8 – Justice (traditionally, although often swapped with Strength, but each works in either location). The Fool has the first of a number of visions, in this case of the ideal of justice and apex of the Fool’s worldly quest. It is now time for the Fool’s otherworldly – or underworldly – quest
9 – The Hermit. It is time for the Fool to become or encounter The Hermit in a quest for otherworldly visions and voices
10 – The Wheel of Fortune. The Fool sees a mystical vision of the world, the wheel of fortune on which all rise and fall
11 – Strength. The Fool has a vision of strength, in triumph over bestial nature – which will be sorely needed as it is time for the Fool to descend into the underworld
12 – The Hanged Man. “Who are these coming to the sacrifice?”. The Fool encounters or becomes the self-sacrificial Hanged Man
13 – Death. And now it is time for the Fool to die and go down into the underworld
14 – Temperance. With the still, small voice and vision of Temperance as guide, Virgil to the Fool’s Dante
15 – The Devil. And now the Fool comes naked to the very heart of hell itself, with its terrible choices and temptations that echo that of the Lovers
16 – The Tower Struck by Lightning. The Fool harrows hell and breaks free, toppling the Tower and rising through ever increasing light to be reborn, at first the illuminating flash of lightning in darkness
17 – The Star. The Fool rises through or the light of the hopeful Star
18 – The Moon. Not quite out of the woods yet, as the Fool rises through the light of the surreal Moon full of madness and wild dreams
19 – The Sun. The Fool finally is reborn into the full blazing light of the Sun (or with it as child of the Sun)
20 – Judgement. The Fool has a vision of cosmic or divine eons or ‘judgement’
21 – The World. And the Fool has a final vision of the World as it truly is, cosmic dance and dancer, before beginning over again as…the Fool

 

RATING: 5 STARS*****
S-TIER (GOD-TIER)

 

 

(5) DISCORDIANISM

 

Life is the laughter of the gods!

Or the goddess in this case.

Discordianism is the combination of two strands within contemporary mythology (or religion) that appeal to me.

Firstly, the strand of neo-paganism – not so much a mythology of itself, but an eclectic combination, reconstruction or syncretism of earlier mythologies, particularly those of historical pagan or pre-Christian Europe. The most distinctive – and perhaps the most numerous – neo-pagan religion is Wicca, which reconstructs historical witchcraft as a pagan survival or resurgence, typically combining historical mythic female figures within one overarching or universal Goddess, often identified as the Triple Goddess or Great Goddess, either as a monotheistic figure on her own, or with a similar male figure, often identified as the Horned God, as her consort in a duotheistic couple. Or not, since neo-paganism in general and Wicca in particular are extremely eclectic and difficult to pin down.

Of course, Discordianism isn’t the most serious example of neo-paganism – to the extent that it is even accepted as such, something which is often disputed. Which brings me to the second strand – the strand of parody religion, or more broadly, religious comedy, humor and satire. Parody religion or religious comedy is perhaps distinctively modern with many different strands, some notably sourced from popular culture, but also arguably has long roots extending back at least to classical philosophy or literature, even within traditional religions. Some even ascend to distinctly postmodern religions – which appear to have a number of relatively serious followers who embrace the perceived absurdity of these religions as spiritually significant and it is hard to tell whether even these “serious” followers are not just taking part in an even bigger joke.

Sometimes I feel that the world would be a better place if all religions originated in comedy or was told in the form of jokes.

And so Discordianism appeals to me because of its complete playfulness and lack of seriousness in matters of belief, all with a neo-pagan tint. After all, if you’re going to have a universal goddess, metaphorical or otherwise, then who better than the playful goddess of chaos, invoking Eris from Greek mythology or her counterpart Discordia from Roman mythology? Essentially, Discordianism originated as a parody religion, and as far as I’m aware, one of the first parody religions – although is it a joke disguised as a religion, or a religion disguised as a joke? Only Eris knows!

 

RATING: 5 STARS*****
S-TIER (GOD TIER – OR IS THAT GODDESS-TIER?)

 

1 The Magician from the Rider-Waite Tarot illustrated by Pamela Colman-Smith

 

(6) MAGIC

 

Abracadabra!

Where else to feature magic but in mythology? Although…magic is not so definitive of mythology as it is of, say, fantasy. Yes – you have what might be termed (supernatural) magic throughout mythology, but usually as characteristic of divine or semi-divine beings, as part of their inherent essence or nature. You tend not to have magic in the more narrowly defined sense of functional magic – that is, magic as the human “application of beliefs, rituals or actions employed in the belief that they can manipulate natural or supernatural beings and forces”. When mortal humans or heroes tend to use magic in mythology, it is as a gift from the gods – because it was given to them by the gods or other supernatural beings.

Functional magic tends to occupy that eclectic middle ground (or perhaps no-man’s land?) between mythology and more general folklore or ritual. And even more so between religion and science. I like to quip that religion is organized magic. I stand by that quip, but religion tends more to the role of magic in mythology – as something that is given by divine power rather than manipulated by humans, indeed tending to see the latter as…competition at best. (I understand that historian Keith Thomas proposed a similar thesis, albeit in a narrower historical setting, in his Religion and the Decline of Magic).

I tend to see religion more as Sir James George Frazer did – as closer to proto-science, or an effort to create a system of cause and effect, albeit without science’s rigor to exclude personal beliefs from the results of observation. Indeed, beliefs are kind of the point of magic. Frazer coined the term sympathetic magic, dividing it further into magical principles of similarity (like affects like) and contagion (things that have been in contact continue to affect each other)

However, the classifications or types of magic could very well be the subject of their own top ten. White, grey and black magic. High and low magic. Modern magic (often styled as magick) – ceremonial and chaos magic. And of course stage magic – or illusion. Apotropaic magic. Blood magic. Elemental and natural magic. Wild magic. Alchemy – elixirs and potions. Incantations. Thaumaturgy. Theurgy. Magical objects – amulets and talismans. Magical symbols – runes and sigils. Curses. Grimoires. Runes. True names.

And of course the schools of magic popularized by Dungeons and Dragons – abjuration, conjuration, divination, enchantment, illusion, necromancy and transmutation.

 

RATING: 5 STARS*****
S-TIER (GOD-TIER)

 

Poster for the 2015 film The Witch directed by Robert Eggers

 

 

(7) WITCHCRAFT

 

Wouldst thou like to live deliciously?

Just a girl and her goat. Or in the case of European witch folklore, of many girls and their great goat

Witchcraft – traditionally defined as the malevolent “use of magic or supernatural powers to harm others” – is something that seems well-nigh universal in mythologies or beliefs throughout the world. Perhaps not surprisingly, as cultures that saw the world in terms of magical or supernatural forces would then see harm or misfortune in terms of such forces malevolently used by some individuals against others.

Nor are beliefs in witchcraft confined to pre-modern history – or more precisely, early modern history, as trials for witchcraft declined in Europe in the late eighteenth century. They persist even today, and even in the form of active witch hunts, apparently with body counts far exceeding those of the European witch hunts, most notably in Africa and India.

Arguably however, witch folklore reached its highest or most definitive form (indeed, giving us the word for witch) in European witch folklore, particularly that of the early modern witch hunts and trials – and it certainly is the witch folklore that is the source of endless fascination for me.

The witchcraft attributed to witches in or by the hunts and trials evolved into a mythos with remarkable complexity and depth. There were the witches themselves, predominantly but not exclusively female (with men as the primary targets of accusations of witchcraft in some areas), with all the various features attributed to them or protections against them – magic and spells of course, the evil eye, flying ointment, necromancy (as with the Biblical Witch of Endor), animal familiars, imps, witch’s marks (to be distinguished from witch marks to ward off witches), witch’s teats, witch’s ladders, and witch balls or bottles (again to ward off witches).

And then there was the witchcraft ‘religion’ itself, usually styled as an anti-religion of service to the Devil in exchange for magic or supernatural power, with its ritual of the Witches Sabbath or Sabbat and all its various elements, not least the great goat himself, the Devil in caprine form, referenced as the Sabbath Goat (as in Goya’s famous paintings) or Baphomet – or Black Phillip to his friends. And of course all the lurid sexual details that went with it – with the osculam infame being particularly hard to dislodge from one’s mind after reading about it.

The historiography of the origins of these elements of witchcraft has evolved into almost as much a mythos as that of witchcraft itself. The standard historical explanation tends towards the various elements of witchcraft being projections from the lurid fantasies of those conducting the witch hunts or trials, which they confirmed by “confessions” extracted under torture (aided by circulation of those same lurid fantasies in popular belief).

Interestingly, the medieval Catholic Church had disdainfully dismissed belief in the existence of witches or witchcraft as pagan superstition (although heresy was another matter) – and it was the advent of Protestantism, and the religious warfare that went with it, that saw the height of the witch hunts and trials.

And then there are the more exotic historical explanations that become something of a mythology of themselves – with the foremost as the witch-cult hypothesis, that saw the elements of witchcraft as the survival of a pagan cult, distorted and persecuted by Christianity. The witch-cult hypothesis reached its sensational height with Margarat Murray in the early twentieth century – possibly influencing modern neo-pagan witchcraft or Wicca, but has since largely been discredited – although some scholars such as Carlo Ginzburg contend that “surviving elements of pre-Christian religion in European folk culture influenced early modern stereotypes of witchcraft”.

And on the topic of Ginzburg, I have a soft spot for his and others’ conjecture of witchcraft including surviving shamanic elements, most notably the use of hallucinatory or psychedelic substances to essentially conjure the Witches Sabbath out of dreams or drug hallucinations – flying ointment as getting high, or tripping witch balls.

 

RATING: 5 STARS*****
S-TIER (GOD TIER – OR IS THAT GOAT TIER?)

 

 

 

(8) TAO

 

Wu wei – or Tao and the art of doing nothing effectively.

Like Zen, Taoism can resemble a mythology but of masters of the Tao rather than gods or heroes – and that’s even before you get to how Taoism is intertwined with Chinese folk religion, alchemy, astrology, martial arts, feng shui and chi or qi, let alone pantheons of deities such as the Three Pure Ones or the Jade Emperor.

Taoism emphasizes living in balance or harmony with the Tao, which is variously interpeted but I prefer its interpretation as the Way – the natural order of the universe or cosmos that human intuition must discern in order to realize the potential for individual wisdom. Like the Matrix (which was also influenced by Taoism or at least other Asian religions), you cannot be told about the Tao, you have to see it for yourself – “this intuitive knowing of ‘life’ cannot be grasped as a concept; it is known through actual living experience of one’s everyday being”. Some of the most common metaphors for the Way essentially involve going with the flow – depicting the Tao as a fluid force like water.

Perhaps its most famous visual symbol is the taijitu, better known as the yin-yang symbol – encapsulating much of the concepts of Taoism within it – which of course I used as the feature image for this entry

Taoism advocates naturalness, spontaneity, simplicity, detachment from desire, and wu wei. The Taoist concept of wu wei is a particular favorite of mine, often translated as the art of doing nothing effectively. Finally – a religious doctrine which I’ve spent my whole life practicing to achieve, although to be honest I’m not sure if I’ve been doing it effectively

 

RATING: 4 STARS****
A-TIER (TOP TIER)

 

The Wicker Man! The form of execution that Caesar wrote the druids used for human sacrifice – illustration from the the Commentaries of Caesar translated by William Duncan published in 1753

 

 

(9) DRUIDRY

 

“A druid was a member of the high-ranking class in ancient Celtic culture”. And that’s pretty much as definitive as it gets.

While druids had a number of roles – “legal authorities, adjudicators, lorekeepers, medical professionals and political advisors” – the focus tends to be on their role as religious leaders. That is as priests, prophets, or most commonly, as quasi-shamanic figures, attuned to the animal or natural world with magic or moral philosophy.

Little is known about them, since they were secretive and didn’t write anything down, possibly because of religious prohibition. Most historical accounts were written by their adversaries, notably the Romans, who actively suppressed them.

The first detailed account was that of Julius Caesar in his Gallic Wars, who wrote about them as he conquered them and the rest of Gaul – most famously featuring them shoving human sacrifices into the Wicker Man, to be literally burnt in effigy.

Historians have queried the veracity of druidic human sacrifice in general and the Wicker Man in particular, usually in terms of Roman imperial propaganda against their conquered enemies – which disappoints me, as it depicts the druids at their most metal.

I mean, I came to druidry and classical depictions of it through The Wicker Man, with Lord Summerisle as my model of an evil druid.

However, this was moderated as I came to druidry through three other sources. The first originated when Caesar conquered Gaul…but not entirely, because one small village still held out against the invaders through their druid’s magic potion of superhuman strength.

I am of course talking about Asterix comics, featuring the druid Getafix as his name is usually translated into English versions. Of course, the Wicker Man was distinctively absent from its version of druidry, although that might explain the true fate of all those Roman legionaries behind the scenes…

The second source was also from comics – Slaine by Pat Mills for 2000 AD, in which human sacrifice in general and the Wicker Man in particular loomed large for its version of druidry. Not surprisingly, its druids were somewhat amoral at best, not too distinct from their evil counterparts.

The third source is perhaps the most popular – Dungeons and Dragons, influencing their depiction in other role playing games and popular culture as divine nature-themed magic users, complete with shapechanging (“wild shape”) and animal companions.

All of which are not unlike the modern reconstruction (or reconstructions) of druidry, often styled as neo-druidry in the same manner as neo-paganism or neo-shamanism, originating with Romantic pagan and Celtic revivals as early as the eighteenth century.

 

RATING: 4 STARS****
A-TIER (TOP TIER)

 

“Faeries” by Brian Froud & Alan Lee – 25th anniversary edition. The second best reference work on fairy folklore after Katherine Briggs’ A Dictionary of Fairies. Certainly better illustrated – reflecting its coffee table book style – with Alan Lee’s characteristically fey art

 

(10) FAIRIES

 

Fairy, faery, fay, fey, fae – the stuff of folklore, most distinctively in British and Irish folklore, but also throughout wider European folklore. And perhaps beyond, as some historians argue for their origin from the peris of Persian mythology – and there are analogous beings (or ‘godlings’) elsewhere.

Of course, the term fairies now conjures up images of cute little gossamer-winged pixies like Tinkerbell.

In folklore – particularly British and Irish folklore – fairies were much different, most aptly styled as the Fair Folk, itself a euphemism for things that would flay you and walk around in your skin, because you sure as hell didn’t want to draw their attention or conjure them up by using names more true to their nature, or worse yet, their true names. In fairness (heh), they weren’t always as extreme as to literally flay you and walk around in your skin, only on occasion and only some of them. Some of them were more neutral or even nice, although even the nice ones were usually weird or had weird alien morality. Indeed, alien is an apt description, as in a manner of speaking, the fairies of European folklore have been replaced with the aliens of modern folklore, which uncannily resemble their fairy predecessors in many ways. Hence a whole array of apotropaic magic or protective charms to ward them off.

Their origins are myriad, both those attributed to them by folklore or folk belief, and the historical origins of that same folklore or belief . “The unworthy dead, the children of Eve, a kind of demon, a species independent of humans, an older race of humans”. Demoted or semi-fallen angels. Demoted pagan deities or ancestors. Spirits of the dead. Hidden people. Elementals.

As for the classification or types of fairies themselves, that could be the subject of its own top ten – even by broader classifications, let alone all the variations of individual types. The Seelie and Unseelie Courts of Scottish folklore. The classification of trooping and solitary fairies proposed by William Butler Yeats (to which Katherine Briggs added domesticated faires). Heroic faires. Diminuitive faries. Irish Tuatha de Danaan and sidhe. Scandanavian elves. Changelings. Goblins.  Pixies (lending themselves to one of my favorite fairy expressions – pixy-led)

And then there’s all the various fairy objects. Fairy animals – fairy cats and fairy dogs (or black dogs). Fairy trees. Fairy godmothers. Fairy gold. Fairy hills and forts. Fairy paths. Fairy riding (or elfshot). Fairy time. And of course the Fairy Queen and Fairyland (or Otherworld).

 

RATING: 4 STARS****
A-TIER (TOP TIER)

 

Aww – adorable! Illustration of a winged, fire-breathing dragon by Friedrich Justin Bertuch from 1806 – public domain image used in the Wikipedia article “Dragon”

 

(11) DRAGONS

 

Here be dragons!

Dragons, drakes, worms or wyrms. Serpents – feathered, horned, winged. Amphipteres, lindworms and wyverns. Basilisk, cockatrice, hydra or ouroboros – and of course the tarrasque.

Dragons or draconic creatures are nearly universal in myth and folklore

“Nearly every culture has myths about something called a ‘dragon’, despite the fact none of them can agree on exactly what dragons are. How big are they? What do they look like? How many heads do they have? Do they breathe fire? Or ice?” (Or something else altogether?)”

“Do they fly (and if so, with or without wings)? How many legs do they have? Are they dumb as planks, or superintelligent? Are they low scaly pests, or ultra-rare Uber-serpents ancient and powerful as the Earth itself? Are they benevolent? Malevolent or even outright demonic? Are they divine entities or spirits, or just really cool animals?”

As such, dragons in myth or folklore could well be the subject of their own top ten list, including their various elements, tropes and types – not to mention the elements, tropes and types of that most important human interaction with them, dragon-slaying and dragon-slayers.

Very broadly speaking, there are two predominant traditions of dragons (in Eurasia) – ‘western’ and ‘eastern’ dragons, with the former tending towards malevolence or demonic entities, and the latter towards benevolence or divine entities. It is of course more complex than that – with many other distinctions between them (and variations within them).

Even their theories for their origin and ubiquitous presence in myth and folklore are fascinating and diverse.

The most obvious source is of analogous reptilian creatures, whether extant or extinct – crocodiles and Komodo dragons being examples of the former, dinosaurs of the latter. Of course, the dinosaurs themselves can’t have influenced human myths or folklore of dragons, but their fossils could have – apparently some attribute Chinese dragon worship to the prevalence of dinosaur fossils in China. There could even be a combination of extant or extinct reptiles, with some scholars believing “huge extinct or migrating crocodiles bear the closest resemblance, especially when encountered in forested or swampy areas, and are most likely the template of modern Oriental dragon imagery”.

Of course, it’s not just reptilian features – dragons “are often a hybridization of feline, avian and reptilian features”, as noted by anthropologist David E. Jones in his book “An Instinct for Dragons” where he suggested humans, like monkeys, have inherited instinctive reactions to large cats, snakes and birds of prey.

A less obvious source is of the symbolism of natural or elemental forces, as in Robert Blust’s The Origin of Dragons – with particular attention paid to the phenomenon of the rainbow.

 

RATING: 4 STARS****
A-TIER (TOP TIER)

 

The bedsheet ghost – that common visual representation of ghosts in Western popular culture. And what better illustration for one than a Scooby Doo villain – Phantom from “Hassle in the Castle”, Season 1 episode 3 “Scooby Doo, Where Are You?”

 

 

(12) GHOSTS & GHOST LORE

 

Boo!

Ghosts – shades, shadows, apparitions, haunts, phantoms or phantasms, poltergeists, spectres, spooks and wraiths – the stuff of folklore, as belief in ancestral spirits or spirits of the dead is nearly universal in world folklore or mythology. I aways recall Pascal Boyer in his Religion Explained proposing the origin of such beliefs (and in part religion itself) to the persistence of dead people in our dreams. In which case I am haunted by the ghosts of people who are still alive – not to mention haunting the world as a ghost in turn.

Although there are many more rational explanations for ghosts and haunts, essentially most involving brain states or phenomena conducive to ghost-like hallucinations – once again including toxic and hallucinogenic plants or substances, some of which associated with necromancy and the underworld. Ah yes, hallucinogenic plants – is there nothing they can’t do?

And yes – ghost lore is the term used by Wikipedia for ghost foklore, albeit perhaps more in its modern context.
“Ghostlore is still widespread and popular… It might be expected that a rational age of science would destroy belief in the ability of the dead to return. I think it works the other way: in an age of scientific miracles anything seems possible”

Although I’ve always wondered that ghosts seem remarkably narrow-minded, apparently moping around where they died or other familiar haunts, when they are literally without any corporeal limitation, and could be anywhere or do anything. I’d at least want to haunt the space station for a bit. Not that it stops me, like most other people, being fascinated by ghosts and ghost stories.

Not all ghosts are equal. There’s nice or benign ghosts – something you might expect for your own ancestral or familial spirits. And some ghosts are just a**holes. I guess being dead can do that to you. Japanese ghosts – those stringy-haired ghost girls – are particularly nasty, attacking people for no particular reason other than being in the wrong place at the wrong time.

And then you have the weirder, otherwordly “ghosts”, that aren’t even people but things – haunted houses or locations (which are ghostly entities of themselves, apart from any individual ghosts that may be hanging around), ghost ships, ghost trains, and phantom vehicles.

I mean – how do objects have ghosts, or be ghosts? For that matter, how do ghosts have clothing or any other objects? Shouldn’t all ghosts be naked? Although that starts to get towards spectrophilia. And yes – that is an actual thing, an attraction to or arousal by ghosts. Hello, White Ladies and Ladies in Red…

 

RATING: 4 STARS****
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Santanico Pandemonium poster art Season 2, From Dusk Till Dawn TV series – one of my favorite female vampires. Yes – it’s not Salma Hayek from that scene in the film but Eiza Gonzalez is more vamped up in the poster here

 

(13) VAMPIRES &VAMPIRISM

 

And now we get to the hungrier folklore of the dead, albeit not so much in archetypal ghostly incorporeal form, but back from the dead as revenants. They came back wrong. Not much good comes out of coming back from the dead as a rule. It usually involves preying upon life to sustain one’s unnatural, undead being – treading water, but in blood, as it were.

There is a whole host of vampiric or ‘vampire adjacent’ beings or creatures in folklore and mythology, worthy of their own top ten, going all around the world and back to the dawn of history or beyond.

But when it comes to vampire folklore, despite all the vampiric predecessors and variants, we’re talking “the folklore for the entity known today as the vampire” that “originates almost exclusively from early 18th-century southeastern Europe” – and its progeny in modern fantasy or horror, mostly from the archetype of Bram Stoker’s Dracula, which arguably overshadow their precessors in folklore.

And the elements of vampires in folklore are also worthy of their own top ten. There are many variants, lacking a single definitive type, although there are a elements common to a number of European vampire folklore legends. Like witchcraft, which to some degree it overlaps and resembles, vampirism evolved into a mythos with remarkable complexity and depth – even down to a similar frenzy of vampire sightings (and stakings) in the eighteenth century.

There are the various attributes or traits of vampires, although a surprising number of those identified with vampires in modern popular culture originate not from traditional folklore but modern fantasy – as they do for the creation or origin of vampires, which tends to be more haphazard in folklore (such as by a cat jumping over a corpse) than the viral version of vampirism in modern fantasy.

There’s also the various means of preventing vampires (as in the various means of preventing a corpse from becoming a vampire, or at least causing too much trouble as one), identifying vampire, and most importantly of all, protecting against or destroying them. A personal favorite from folklore you don’t see too much (if at all) in modern fantasy is their weird obsessive-compulsion – if you left a bag or sack of grain or seeds in its path, it had to count every single grain or seed, usually detaining it all night. Except perhaps the Count in Sesame Street, which I’d like to think is an esoteric survival of this element of folklore.

And then there are the historical explanations for vampires and vampirism – anomalies in the natural process of decomposition (for elements identifying corpses as vampires), premature burial or grave robbery, various diseases (with porphyria and rabies being the most notable), and psychological or political explanations.

 

RATING: 4 STARS****
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Werewolves just chilling by a wall in “Les Lupins” by Maurice Sands, 1858

 

(14) LYCANTHROPY

 

“You hear him howling around your kitchen door.

You better not let him in.

Little old lady got mutilated late last night.

Werewolves of London again.

Ah-hoo, werewolves of London!”

 

Not just London, as werewolves are a widespread concept in European folklore.

And not just werewolves either, as I’m opening up this special mention entry to the concept of werebeasts throughout the world. Technically that would be therianthropy, as the better-known term lycanthropy is specifically for werewolves (literally from the Greek for wolf and man). Although werewolfism and werebeastliness would be more amusing to use.

You all know the basic concept – a human with the ability to shapeshift into a wolf, or some sort of wolf-human hybrid, either on purpose or involuntarily by some sort of curse or affliction (often spread by the bite or scratch of a werewolf), with such transformations typically (but not always) by the light of the full moon.

The concept has a long history. Personally, I think it has one of the longest in human history – or prehistory – originating with animal powers, totemism or transformation in shamanism.

As the use of the Greek term lycanthropy might signify, the more recognizable predecessors of the concept originated in classical history, with references to men transforming or being transformed into wolves in Greek literature or mythology. One of the most famous was the myth of Lycaon, whom Zeus – styled as Zeus Lycaeus, translated by Robert Graves as Zeus of the she-wolf – transformed into a wolf (as divine punishment).

However, while the term lycanthropy itself was used by the Greeks in classical literature, it was apparently only in later classical history, used rarely, and in a clinical sense for a particular form of insanity rather than transformation.

The term werewolf was more recognizably used for the concept. And as that term might signify, the even more recognizable predecessors of the concept originated with the role and totemism of the wolf in pre-Christian or Iron Age Germanic paganism, itself often traced further back to proto-Indo-European mythology – where lycanthropy is apparently reconstructed as an aspect of the initiation of the warrior class.

This heady mix clashed head on with Christianity, leading to the concept of the werewolf in medieval Europe – although that concept reached its definitive height in the early modern period, hopelessly intertwined with the overlapping concepts of vampires and witchcraft, so much so for the latter that there were werewolf trials among witch trials.

And like vampires, the elements of werewolves in folklore are also worthy of their own top ten, from the underlying causes of lycanthropy, the nature of their transformation, and other characteristics – including, most crucially for those European peasants up to their necks in fangs, their weaknesses or possible cures.

And as for wider therianthropy or werebeasts – “Until the 20th century, wolf attacks on humans were an occasional, but still widespread feature of life in Europe. Some scholars have suggested that it was inevitable that wolves, being the most feared predators in Europe, were projected into the folklore of evil shapeshifters. This is said to be corroborated by the fact that areas devoid of wolves typically use different kinds of predator to fill the niche; werehyenas in Africa, weretigers in India, as well as werepumas (“runa uturuncu”) and werejaguars (“yaguaraté-abá” or “tigre-capiango”) in southern South America.”

Although I think that overlooks bears in Europe. There’s also the plethora of werebeasts in the modern fantasy genre, most notably in Dungeons and Dragons, where basically were-anything goes.

 

RATING: 4 STARS****
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Frame 352 from the Patterson Gimlin Bigfoot film – public domain image Wikipedia article “Bigfoot”

 

(15) CRYPTIDS & CRYPTOZOOLOGY

 

As “the biological equivalent of UFO sightings”, cryptids and cryptozoology are the other modern mythology par excellence, albeit without the same depth or grand unification theories of UFOs and ufology.

You could say cryptids have been part of mythology from its prehistoric origins, since mythology has always featured fabulous beasts or monsters.

However, the modern mythology of cryptids and cryptozoology is somewhat different. Typically, it does look at creatures of legend, folklore or rumor – not in any magical or supernatural sense, but as biological possibilities “in the wild”, in isolation or in hiding, yet unrecognized or regarded as implausible by more mainstream biology.

“Some may be relict survivors of species believed to be extinct, or known organisms displaced into inappropriate habitats; others are unlike any known species.”

And yes – there’s enough cryptids for their own top ten. Indeed, many top tens – you could even categorise them, as Wikipedia’s list of cryptids does, by aquatic or semi-aquatic, terrestrial or winged.

There are the big stars of cryptozoology. The Yeti and Bigfoot or Sasquatch (with similar creatures elsewhere, such as the Yowie in Australia). The Loch Ness Monster – standing in for all the various monsters of lakes or lochs around the world, which again could be their own top ten, again with Wikipedia having a list of lake monsters as well as an Australian representative in the bunyip.

As for other star cryptids – the Jersey Devil and Mothman, sea serpents (and mermaids, particularly thanks to that Animal Planet ‘mockumentary’), various living dinosaurs (such as Mokele-Mbembe), living megalodon, various misplaced big cats, and my personal favorite, the chupacabra, because I love that goat-sucking beastie.

 

RATING: 4 STARS****
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Map of Bermuda Triangle (or one version of it anyway) – public domain image in Wikipedia article “Bermuda Triangle”

 

(16) EARTH MYSTERIES –
ATLANTIS, BERMUDA TRIANGLE & TUNGUSKA

 

“The time when the oceans drank Atlantis”

Atlantis – myth, allegory, Egyptian priestly gossip…

Not to mention empire of so-called Earth mysteries – that modern mythology of beliefs about geographical locations or monumental architecture and their “energy”. Ley lines, megaliths, pyramids, Stonehenge. Geomancy and feng shui.

But back to Atlantis, it is representative not only of ‘earth mysteries’ but of all mythic lost or sunken continents, lands and kingdoms, including phantom islands and even hollow earth or subterranean realms.

All of which could readily round out their own top ten – Lemuria or Mu, Hyperborea or Thule, Ys or Lyonesse, Agartha, Avalon or Tir Nan Og, Eldorado, Hy-Brasil, Shambhala or Shangri-La.

And they’re just the big names, although the biggest name of all in lost lands is course Atlantis itself, thanks to Plato. Ironically, Plato used Atlantis as a minor allegory (and counterpoint to Athens), set 9000 years or so before his time, one which concludes with “Atlantis falling out of favor with the deities and submerging into the Atlantic Ocean”, but it subsequently assumed a mythic significance after him.

“Atlantis has become a byword for any and all supposed advanced prehistoric lost civilizations and continues to inspire contemporary fiction”. To its mythic archetype of lost continent or land, one might also add its fantasy role as sunken, submerged or submarine kingdom – with the Atlanteans adapting to their new marine habitat.

Foremost in Atlantean mythology, at least as my personal favorites, are the so-called “location hypotheses” – the historical (or pseudohistorical) speculations as to the location of Atlantis, if only as possible sources of inspiration for Plato’s allegory.

Although not as wild as they used to be – with modern understanding of continental drift and plate tectonics putting paid to any actual lost continent (foremost among them Ignatius Donelly’s nineteenth century revival of the Atlantis myth) – there are still some wild theories proposed for America or even Antarctica as Atlantis.

Personally, I’d like to see more speculation for the United States as Atlantis – not as an allegory by Plato but a premonition (or both, the United States kinda fits the Atlantis allegory as well). Not to mention the Atlantean cold war against Lemuria-Mu.

Seriously, however, I lean more towards Plato creating a mostly fictional account, from more plausible sources of inspiration from the Mediterranean – my favorite being the volcanic eruption on Thera and the fall of Minoan civilization on Crete, although close runner-up is more contemporary (and personal) events to Plato in Sicily.

And then there are the more literary influences or interpretations – from utopias (or dystopias), including the definitive Utopia of Thomas More, to the lost land of Atlantis as metaphor for something no longer obtainable

Or again, personally I’d like to see more speculation for Atlantis as premonition by Plato, not to the future but as deep atavistic memory to the distant prehistoric past, when we were all happy little trilobites in Pangaea, or Gondawana, or whatever prehistoric supercontinent it was back then

“We can’t tell where we are… everything is… can’t make out anything…It looks like we are entering white water… We’re completely lost.”

The Bermuda Triangle is one of my personal favorite modern myths – hence its inclusion as earth mystery in this special mention – despite it being, you know, complete crap.

Firstly, it’s a pretty loose triangle, often more of a Bermuda Trapezoid, even extending as far as Ireland in some variations – although it usually includes the Sargasso Sea, which I find almost as fascinating.

Secondly, the idea of the area as uniquely prone to disappearances is only recent, arising in the mid-20th century, albeit with a bang with my favorite myth within the myth, the disappearance of Flight 19 quoted above. (It happened, but not as part of any larger triangular mystery).

Thirdly and most fundamentally, there’s no mystery. “The number of ships and aircraft reported missing in the area was not significantly greater, proportionately speaking, than in any other part of the ocean” – and “the number of disappearances that did occur were, for the most part, neither disproportionate, unlikely, nor mysterious”.

Also the claims of writers who contributed to the Bermuda Triangle legend, Charles Berlitz foremost among them for me, “were exaggerated, dubious or unverifiable” – including just straight out misreporting accounts of meteorological conditions or omitting the belated return to port of ships reported missing.

But who cares about all that – it’s just fun, particularly in fantasy, where the underlying reason for the mystery usually “will turn out that something really weird is involved with the area, such as aliens, paranormal activity, Eldritch Abominations, Atlantis, or something even weirder”. Perhaps Cthulhu or other dimensions. Even if human activity is involved, it’s some ancient conspiracy or cult.

Also this entry is intended to be representative of mysterious disappearances and “vile vortices” in general. There’s the similar Devil’s Sea (or Dragon’s Triangle) near Japan, as well as a few other triangles. The lost colony of Roanoke. The Mary Celeste. Ambrose Bierce. Amelia Earhart

And there’s also my personal Bermuda Triangle, because whenever I lose things, they vanish completely from the face of the earth – perhaps into Charles Fort’s Super-Sargasso Sea.

And then there’s the third of my holy trinity of Earth mysteries – the Tunguska Event. Although I feel a little trepidation ranking the Tunguska Event with the Bermuda Triangle and Atlantis – because unlike those latter two, the Tunguska Event is more grounded, less earthly or mysterious.

It’s also a less enduring phenomenon – an explosion in Siberia usually reckoned at 10-15 megatons on 30 June 1908. As to what caused the explosion – there’s the mystery, but again it’s usually reckoned to be a meteorite. The only catch is that an impact crater or meteorite has never been found, so the leading hypothesis is that it exploded as an air burst rather than from direct impact.

If so, it was a lucky day for St Petersberg at the same latitude, as a few hours difference might have made it the site rather than a remote and sparsely populated region of Siberia.

However, that doesn’t stop wilder hypotheses, ranging from the still relatively mundane such as a comet or exploding leak of subterranean natural gas, to the bizarre – “a deuterium-rich meteorite causing an all-natural thermonuclear explosion; a chunk of antimatter; a miniature black hole passing through the Earth; an alien spacecraft crashing or discharging some kind of superweapon; psychic experiments or magic rituals gone wrong”.

 

RATING: 4 STARS****
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Possibly the most iconic UFO picture of all time and certainly the mantra of UFO enthusiasts – the poster for The X-Files made by the production team for the series

 

(17) UFOS & UFOLOGY

 

Close encounters of the third kind.

The modern mythology par excellence, a mythos of extraordinary depth and complexity – one that has even absorbed former fairy folklore, angelic visitations, and divine encounters into itself, as well as forming part of new religions.

Technically, there is nothing mythic about UFOs in their purest sense – as unidentified flying objects. Observations or sightings of aerial phenomena and unidentified flying objects have been a prosaic matter of fact, both since human flight and previously throughout history.

And there is nothing mythic about any number of prosaic explanations for them, which could well be the subject of their own top ten – setting aside human error (often of known or subsequently identified objects), delusion, hoax or psychological effects, there are a number of ordinary objects or phenomena.

Aircraft or balloons. Astronomical objects. Atmospheric objects and light phenomena, including my personal favorite I yearn to see for myself, ball lightning.

Of course, what is mythic is the hypothesis that has become synonymous with UFOs – the extraterrestrial hypothesis, essentially UFOs as alien spacecraft or visitation. Although arguably that is one strand, albeit the predominant one, of various overlapping hypotheses, which propose exotic explanations other than ordinary phenomena.

Timecraft rather than spacecraft (and future humans or posthumans rather than aliens). The cryptoterrestrial hyphothesis. The interdimensional hypothesis. Space Nazis or communists.  Or some sort of government conspiracy to manipulate perception.

UFOs and ufology have a number of layered elements. There are the UFOs themselves – ranging from the foo fighters and ghost rockers of WW2 (or their predecessors as mystery airships) to more contemporary black triangles, flying saucers and green fireballs.

Then there’s the aliens, most predominantly the aliens known as the Greys, or their predecessors Little Green Men – the former being suspiciously humanoid and nude – as well as their predilections for cattle mutilation (presumably as bowsers they pump as fuel for their spacecraft), crop circles, abduction, and the omnipresent probing (or lurid sexual fantasies to rival those of witchcraft).

That last always throws in a skeptical note for me. It’s hard to imagine that aliens are so advanced as to cross light years of space or different dimensions just to give some hick an enema. I mean, I would, but I’m not particularly advanced and that’s just my sense of humor.

Also – why is it never the sexy aliens? Although there is (or was) a strand of aliens in UFO mythology as Nordic aliens.

And then there’s the deeper levels of UFO mythology revolving around human interaction – or conspiracy – with aliens. Roswell and Area 51. Men in black. Majestic 12. And my personal favorite, the endless ancient alien hypotheses, with Eric von Daniken’s Chariots of the Gods foremost among them for me – aliens built the pyramids!

 

RATING: 4 STARS****
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The Vanishing Hitchhiker – promotional art for Nintendo Switch, one of many variations or adaptations of the urban legend

 

(18) URBAN LEGENDS

 

The modern folklore par excellence – “a genre of folklore comprising stories circulated as true, especially as having happened to a ‘friend of a friend'”. And yes – worthy of their own top ten.

Apparently the term urban legend as used by folklorists has been in print since the 1960s, but is best known – particularly to me – through their most prolific popularizer, Jan Harold Brunvand, in a series of books from The Vanishing Hitchhiker: American Urban Legends & Their Meanings onwards.

“Many urban legends are framed as complete stories with plot and characters. The compelling appeal of a typical urban legend is its elements of mystery, horror, fear, or humor. Often they serve as cautionary tales. Some urban legends are morality tales that depict someone acting in a disagreeable manner, only to wind up in trouble, hurt, or dead.”

“Urban legends will often try to invoke a feeling of disgust in the reader which tends to make these stories more memorable and potent. Elements of shock value can be found in almost every form of urban legend and are partially what makes these tales so impactful. An urban legend may include elements of the supernatural or paranormal”.

 

RATING: 4 STARS****

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The Eye of Providence – on the reverse of the Great Seal of the United States and here on the US one-dollar bill

 

(19) CONSPIRACY THEORIES

 

The other modern folklore par excellence – where history meets mythology. Of course, there are conspiracies in history and some of these may be the subject of theories with some documented or factual basis.

It is however important to distinguish between regular theories about conspiracies – and conspiracy theories, that might well be capitalized as Conspiracy Theory for their mythic stature or mythos.

And particularly prone to proliferation by the internet – “conspiracy theories mutate and interbreed almost too fast for humans to track. Any of the theories and sub-theories…can be, and in all likelihood has been, combined with any or all of the others by at least one person. Don’t be surprised if the theory raises more questions than the original incident in the first place. The only thing such theories prove, if anything, is that we’re all too human”.

“Conspiracy theories resist falsification and are reinforced by circular reasoning: both evidence against the conspiracy and an absence of evidence for it are re-interpreted as evidence of its truth”

The definitive conspiracy theory is a theory that proposes that an event or situation “is not as we understand them but really the work of secret cabals of cunning conspirators acting for malicious ends, from merely getting rich to propagating an ideology up to and including world domination”.

Of course, it is when they get to the soaring heights of world domination, or some overarching grand unifying theory of conspiracies, that they are most fascinating to me – with the Illuminati as my favorite.

There are of course a plethora of conspiracy theories – it seems at least one for every significant contemporary event at this point. Enough for their own top ten – in some cases for particular events (hello 9/11 and JFK), or just a number of times over in general, as in my favorite compilation of conspiracy theories, the Greatest Conspiracies of All Time by Jonathan Vankin and John Whalen, which went from 50 in its original edition to 80 in its last edition.

One could even have a top ten classifications of conspiracy theories, by broader type – such as conspiracy theories involving aliens, disasters, disinformation, famous people, guns (and shootings), health, history (including ancient history and monuments), law or enforcement, media, new world orders or secret societies, religion, science or technology, wars, and even weather. Hell – one could even just have a top ten parodies of conspiracy theories.

Or a top ten classifications by thematic type, most evocatively those by Jesse Walker – who classifies conspiracy theories as “Enemy Outside”, “Enemy Within”, “Enemy Above”, “Enemy Below”, and “Benevolent Conspiracies”. Or Michael Barkun’s event conspiracy theories, systemic conspiracy theories, and super conspiracy theories.

Or Murray Rothbard – of all people – with his model contrasting deep conspiracy theories to shallow ones, with the latter observing an event and asking cui bono or who benefits, “jumping to the conclusion that a posited beneficiary is responsible for covertly influencing events”.

As Vankin and Whalen lament in their books, conspiracy theories have become pretty lazy these days. Previously, conspiracy theories involved the meticulous, even obsessive, compilation of facts or evidence. Now, it’s mostly along the lines of Rothbard’s shallow conspiracy theories – simply proposing a beneficiary or motive behind any event, which is pretty easy to do, and asserting that as a conspiracy.

 

RATING: 4 STARS****
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Samantabhadra (Ever-Perfect One) or (Tibetan) Kuntuzangpo, Tibet, early 20th century – part of the tantric art exhibit Honored Father-Honored Mother, Trammell & Margaret Crow Collection of Asian Art, Dallas, Texas, photographed by Joe Mabel and licensed under https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/deed.en

 

 

(20) TANTRA

 

The jewel in the lotus!

Two words – sex magic. Or sex zen as I like to call it.

Well at least in the popular perception of tantra (originating in Hinduism and Buddhism), including my own – that’s pretty much what most people see or know it as, although that perception would be more accurate to the reconstruction of it by modern western writers often styled as neo-tantra.

Authentic tantra would appear to be much deeper than that – “the creation and history of the world; the names and functions of a great variety of male and female deities and other higher beings; the types of ritual worship (especially of goddesses); magic, sorcery, and divination; esoteric “physiology” (the mapping of the subtle or psychic body); the awakening of the mysterious serpent power (kundalinî-shakti); techniques of bodily and mental purification; the nature of enlightenment; and not least, sacred sexuality.” And of course such popularized concepts as chakra, mantra and mandala.

However, this entry is intended to be representative of sex magic or sexuality in mythology and religion in general – for which I sometimes use tantra in a much broader (and wildly inaccurate) sense. It’s also intended as the kinkier entry I aim for as my twentieth (and final) special mention!

 

RATING: 4 STARS****
X-TIER (WILD TIER)

 

 

Free ‘divine gallery’ art sample – OldWorldGods

 

TOP TENS – MYTHOLOGY:

TOP 10 MYTHOLOGIES (SPECIAL MENTION)

 

S-TIER (GOD TIER)

 

(1) PAGANISM

(2) SHAMANISM

(3) ZEN

(4) TAROT

(5) DISCORDIANISM

(6) MAGIC

(7) WITCHCRAFT

 

A-TIER (TOP TIER)

 

(8) TAO

(9) DRUIDRY

(10) FAIRIES

(11) DRAGONS

(12) GHOSTS & GHOST LORE

(13) VAMPIRES & VAMPIRISM

(14) LYCANTHROPY

(15) UFOS & UFOLOGY

(16) CRYPTIDS & CRYPTOZOOLOGY

(17) EARTH MYSTERIES –

ATLANTIS, BERMUDA TRIANGLE & TUNGUSKA EVENT

(18) URBAN LEGENDS

(19) CONSPIRACY THEORIES

 

X-TIER (WILD TIER)

 

(20) TANTRA