Cover complete digital edition of The Ten Seconders published 1 March 2016

(3) ROB WILLIAMS –

THE TEN-SECONDERS (2005-2013)

“If you meet a ‘God’ you expect to just last ten seconds, correct? I only counted to eight.”

Beware the Superman!

I have a soft spot for stories that are wary of superheroes (and tend to feature the trope of Cape Busters as their hope spot) – there’s Grant Morrison’s Zenith in its entry in my top ten comics and it also bubbles beneath the surface of Adam Warren’s Empowered in its entry as well. And of course – Garth Ennis’ The Boys.

And oh boy do you have to beware the superman in Rob Williams’ The Ten Seconders. Set in an post-apocalyptic world in which the apocalypse has been brought about by superpowered beings called “Gods” resembling archetypal superheroes in comics – out of boredom no less (and a sense of innate superiority), although they initially presented themselves as benevolent. The few surviving humans who opposed the “Gods” are dubbed “Ten-Seconders” because that is how long they are expected to last against their other-worldly enemies. They’re also fond of quoting Nietzsche (“God is dead”) but a little more pointed than Nietzsche’s original metaphor.

RATING:

A-TIER (TOP TIER)

Cover of Calvin and Hobbes, the first collection of comic strips published by Andrews McMeel Publishing in 1987 (fair use)

(3) BILL WATTERSON –

CALVIN & HOBBES (1985-1995)

Goddamn I love that tiger!

“One of the most (maybe the most) beloved newspaper comics of all time, that influenced, changed and thrilled an entire generation, all drawn and written by one man — Bill Watterson…Watterson reminded us that newspaper comics don’t have to be bland, crude drawings, funny animals can have deeper personalities and insights in life, and that it was still possible for a strip to successfully explore philosophical themes without feeling tacked on. And yes, comics about children can still be great”.

Also (as noted by TV Tropes) – unpredictable panel layouts, surreal nature, childhood fantasy elements, lush art, adventure, vivid characterization, satire, classic cartoon slapstick and a gently comedic look at the hard truths of life.

Calvin is a precocious 6-year-old, who lives in rich world of imagination – personified (or is that tiger-ified) by Hobbes, his (imaginary – or is he?) best friend, a “walking, talking tiger” to Calvin and an inanimate plush toy to everyone else (and intriguingly of different appearance from his animate appearance to Calvin).

Amusingly, Calvin and Hobbes were named for the sixteenth century theologian John Calvin and sixteenth century philosopher Thomas Hobbes respectively – pointing to the philosophical themes of the comic.

Arguably Calvin embodies the child in every adult, while Hobbes represents the adult in every child – particularly with the latter tending to act as the voice of reason and conscience to Calvin. Hobbes also has a thing for “babes”.

The fantasy – or reality – of Hobbes’ dual nature is one of the most appealing parts of the strip, as is the fantasy or reality of the titular duo’s many adventures and misadventures, but perhaps also (ironically) of least consequence – “Watterson has described the matter as being a non-question: This is not a strip about a young reality warper going on magical adventures with a stuffed animal that comes to life when no one else is looking, nor is it as simple as a boy with a stuffed tiger and an overactive imagination. This is a strip about the world seen through Calvin’s eyes. To Calvin, Hobbes is a real tiger, a cardboard box is a cloning device, a wagon driven off a ramp can fly to Mars, and mutant snowmen can stage a rebellion against their creator. And that is all that matters”.

I’m prompted to think of the play Harvey and its film adaptation as a spiritual predecessor, with its protagonist’s six-foot rabbit ‘imaginary friend’ Harvey playing the role of Hobbes:

“I’ve wrestled with reality for 35 years, Doctor, and I’m happy to state I finally won out over it. I always have a wonderful time, wherever I am, whoever I’m with”.

RATING: 5 STARS*****

S-TIER (GOD-TIER)

Cover of the 1961 edition in English of Asterix the Gaul, the first volume in the series.

(2) RENE GOSCINNY & ALBERT UDERZO –

ASTERIX (1959-1979 – I’m only counting the ones written by both Goscinny and Uderzo up to Asterix in Belgium, the twenty-fourth volume in the series)

“The year is 50 B.C. Gaul is entirely occupied by the Romans. Well, not entirely… One small village of indomitable Gauls still holds out against the invaders. And life is not easy for the Roman legionaries who garrison the fortified camps of Totorum, Aquarium, Laudanum and Compendium…”

These Romans are crazy!

Asterix is the original source of my enduring love of comics – and my enduring fascination with the Roman Empire in classical or ancient history. It wouldn’t quite be true to say everything I know about the Roman world I learned from Asterix comics – as those comics inspired me to read more historical books on the Roman Empire and ancient history – but you could genuinely learn a lot about the Roman Empire from them.

The basic premise is stated in the above introduction to each comic, accompanied by the famous map with a magnifying glass held up to show the titular protagonist’s village. (Asterix is also where I learned about the battle of Alesia, in which Julius Caesar defeated the Gallic chieftain Vercingetorix and conquered Gaul – a detail that recurs in a number of comics). This small but plucky village has withstood the vast numerical and military superiority of the Roman Empire by virtue of a magic potion that bestows superhuman strength brewed by its resident druid.

Each comic then introduced the major dramatis personae from the village – foremost among them our small but plucky titular protagonist Asterix, but also his generously proportioned fellow protagonist Obelix (who always has superhuman strength because he fell in a cauldron of magic potion as a baby), the aforementioned druid Getafix, village chieftain Vitalstatistix and ill-tuned bard Cacofonix. Oh – and Obelix’s cute dog Dogmatix. As you can tell, the names of Gauls in the comic had humorous puns or plays on the suffix “-ix” – the Romans similarly with “us” and so on with other groups within the Empire. That was indicative of the general wordplay and puns in dialogue as well as visual gags that made each comic a delight – “part of the appeal of the series is probably the variety of humor, which includes slapstick fight scenes, plenty of wordplay, thinly-veiled social commentary, and Iron Age and Roman antiquity versions of just about every European (and beyond) stereotype you can imagine.

I must admit to having a soft spot for the Romans, even though they were generally the antagonists – although perhaps not quite to the point of rooting for the Empire, as our protagonist and his village were just too damn charming. Generally the Romans weren’t cast as evil villains – indeed the hapless legionaries in the camps surrounding the village strove to serve out their time by quietly trying to avoid any contact with the Gauls – although they could also be effective antagonists in their schemes to conquer or undermine the village. And it helped that the Romans were also typically lovable idiots – indeed like almost everyone else in the comic, including the protagonist villagers themselves, except of course for Asterix, Getafix and flashes of brilliance among other characters (Gauls or otherwise). Interestingly, one character not played as an idiot – indeed, played as a worthy adversary – was Caesar himself.

I also have to admit to a soft spot – widely shared by other fans – for the cameo appearances by the recurring band of small but persistently unlucky pirates, a parody of another comic series Barbe-Rouge (Redbeard) – unlucky, that is, in persistently encountering our protagonist duo, the point that they would desperately try to avoid “the Gauls”, even sinking their own ship.

The series was also distinguished by some of the best translations in comics ever – from the original French (of course) by writer Rene Goscinny – as well as some of the best caricaturist art from artist Albert Uderzo. Goscinny sadly died in 1977 and Uderzo took over the writing as well, although not quite with the same superb quality of writing in the eyes of fans such as myself – until he too sadly passed away only in March 2020.

RATING: 5 STARS*****

S-TIER (GOD-TIER – OR IS THAT BY TOUTATIS TIER!)

2000 AD poster art of the titular delinquent duo

(2) ALAN MOORE – D.R. & QUINCH (1983 – 1987)

“Even had I suspected then the truly horrifying suffering and amazing loss of life that would be caused by our well-meaning enterprise… I’d have done it anyway. Only more so.”

One of my hot takes in comics is that I find Alan Moore’s work overrated. I’m not saying I don’t like it. But for me, his finest work was his series D.R. & Quinch, when he started as a writer for 2000 AD and before taking himself too seriously. After all, how seriously can you take yourself when you pronounce the Roman snake god Glycon as your deity? (In Moore’s case, very).

You see, Alan Moore used to be fun – and never more so in this semi-regular but sadly brief series about the eponymous alien adolescent delinquent duo. It started with a one-off comic “D.R. & Quinch Have Fun on Earth” as part of the recurring Future Shock and Time Twister stories, in which the duo steal a time machine to wreak havoc on an insignificant planet in the cosmic boondocks no one cares about (i.e. Earth) as a prank on their college dean. However, they proved so popular they got five longer stories – “D.R. and Quinch Go Straight”, “D.R. and Quinch Go Girl Crazy”, “D.R. and Quinch Get Drafted”, “D.R. and Quinch Go to Hollywood” and “D.R. and Quinch Go Back to Nature”.

You know you’re in for a wild ride when your protagonist’s initials stand for diminished responsibility.

TV Tropes sums it up best:

In what can best be described as “Rule of Funny meets For the Evulz,” D.R. & Quinch tells the totally amazing story of one Waldo “D.R.” Dobbs (the “D.R.” stands for “Diminished Responsibility”), a skinny, lanky, teenage delinquent who boasts a genius IQ, enjoys acts of extreme violence and destruction, and looks like a cross between a gremlin and a skrull with a pompadour, and Dobbs’ best friend Ernest Erroll Quinch, a large, purple-skinned brute who is much, much quieter than Dobbs as he prefers writing to talking. Together, these two deeply sociopathic, evilly affable, omnicidal maniacs do as they please, and what pleases them usually involves death and destruction on a tremendous scale; it helps that, in their part of the Milky Way, nuclear warheads are as easily obtainable as a handgun in the Deep South.

“S’right”

RATING:

A-TIER (TOP TIER)

The literal face of Mad Magazine – Alfred E. Neumann – on the October 1982 magazine cover parodying Time Magazine’s Man of the Year

(1) MAD (1952 – PRESENT)

What, me worry?

Ah – Alfred E. Neuman with his iconic gap tooth grin and catchphrase as Mad Magazine’s fictional mascot and cover boy. According to Wikipedia, he actually preceded Mad as a visual image in advertisements and a presidential campaign postcard for Roosevelt, although the magazine named him and converted his original appearance as an idiotic figure to a more mischievous devil-may-care trickster – “someone who can maintain a sense of humor while the world is collapsing around him”. Amusingly – given his origins from a presidential campaign postcard – Mad Magazine has proffered him periodically as a joke presidential candidate from 1956 onwards with the slogan “You could do a lot worse…and always have!”

I was raised on Mad. Indeed, it was hereditary – I inherited it from my mother, who had classic collections of Mad from when she was a teenager and passed them on to me when I was a teenager. (I’m not too sure her parents – my grandparents – were impressed by this subversive publication – they were pretty straightlaced). And it has been a huge influence on my sense of humor and worldview ever since, mirroring its wider influence on parody and satire in popular culture. If you want to understand me, know that Mad Magazine is etched deep within my psyche (paired with Catch-22 and as part of an eclectic kaleidoscope with The Devil’s Dictionary and TV Tropes):

The film and television parodies – particularly as drawn by Mort Drucker, possibly the finest caricaturist ever (sadly passed away on 9 April 2020).

Spy vs Spy! Featuring the titular literal black and white Cold War-eque spies (drawn as, ah, bird-like people things?) outwitting each other with traps within traps

Don Martin – Mad’s Maddest Artist! And his recurring Fonebone character!

Dan Berg and his “The Lighter Side of” slice of life cartoons!

Sergio Aragones – with his “A Mad Look At’ recurring features and his marginal doodles (or “Drawn Out Dramas”)!

The classic Mad Fold-Ins!

And so on. Nothing was sacred for Mad’s subversive satire and sense of humor – sacred cows make the best hamburger – “Mad’s satiric net was cast wide. The magazine often featured parodies of ongoing American culture, including advertising campaigns, the nuclear family, the media, big business, education and publishing. In the 1960s and beyond, it satirized such burgeoning topics as the sexual revolution, hippies, the generation gap, psychoanalysis, gun politics, pollution, the Vietnam War and recreational drug use”.

Robert Boyd from the Los Angeles Times summed up Mad Magazine for me as well as himself and other fans, with the apt line “All I really need to know I learned from Mad magazine” – “Plenty of it went right over my head, of course, but that’s part of what made it attractive and valuable. Things that go over your head can make you raise your head a little higher. The magazine instilled in me a habit of mind, a way of thinking about a world rife with false fronts, small print, deceptive ads, booby traps, treacherous language, double standards, half truths, subliminal pitches and product placements; it warned me that I was often merely the target of people who claimed to be my friend; it prompted me to mistrust authority, to read between the lines, to take nothing at face value, to see patterns in the often shoddy construction of movies and TV shows; and it got me to think critically in a way that few actual humans charged with my care ever bothered to.”

And it forever tainted the way I view films and television – much as it did critic Roger Ebert:

“I learned to be a movie critic by reading Mad magazine … Mad’s parodies made me aware of the machine inside the skin—of the way a movie might look original on the outside, while inside it was just recycling the same old dumb formulas. I did not read the magazine, I plundered it for clues to the universe”.

RATING: 5 STARS*****

S-TIER (GOD-TIER)

Peak Slaine – The Horned God with glorious cover art by Simon Bisley or the Biz!

(1) PAT MILLS – SLAINE (1983 – PRESENT: Yes, I’m counting the publication of the definitive collected edition)

“He didn’t think it too many”

Slaine’s catchphrase by reference to his body count. Also “kiss my axe” to much the same effect.

Slaine is essentially a prehistoric Irish Conan. although that is in itself turning full circle as the name Conan is of Celtic origin and Robert E. Howard identified Conan’s native Cimmerian people as prehistoric Celtic or Gaelic Irish and Scots. Or more accurately, a cross between Conan and Cuchulainn, the mythological Irish hero from the Ulster cycle – although there are other sources (and figures with whom Slaine interacts) from mythology, particularly Celtic or Irish mythology.

Slaine was introduced as a wandering exile from his tribe, banished for sleeping with the king’s intended consort Niamh – a figure adapted from Celtic mythology – and who remains something of a star-crossed lover for Slaine.

Getting into trouble with women is a recurring theme in Slaine’s early adventures, best personified by recurring antagonist and sorceress Medb, another figure adapted from Celtic mythology. Medb is something of a death cultist and Slaine earns her enmity when he rescued her from being sacrificed in a Wicker Man (in which he and Ukko were also imprisoned for execution) – unfortunately, she was a devotee of the dark god Crom Cruach and had eagerly embraced being a sacrificial bride of Crom.

Dark gods – of the Lovecraftian eldritch abomination sort – and their servants are the recurring antagonists for Slaine, his people the Tuatha de Danaan (living in Tir Nan Og or the Land of the Young) and their goddess Danu. Which is just as well as the morality of the protagonists, notably Slaine himself, is somewhat murky, but overshadowed by the completely monstrous antagonists. After all, the goddess Danu can be a bit of a bitch – “Sometimes I am the sister who befriends you, sometimes I am the mother who holds you and sometimes I am the lover who sticks one in your back”. It’s all part of her dance. Slaine himself tends to revel in raw brutality and blood lust, exemplified in his warp-spasm. Even the goddess snarkily rebukes him that he’s had his share of mindless violence, which Slaine acknowledges to be true.

The high point of Slaine is The Horned God story arc, painted by Simon Bisley (or the Biz as he is known in, well, the biz) with breathtaking results.

RATING: 

S-TIER (GOD-TIER – OR IS THAT GODDESS TIER?)

The cover of Detective Comics #27 dated May 1939 by Bob Kane with the first appearance of Batman – one of the most famous and iconic comics covers, exceeded perhaps only by the Action Comics cover for the first appearance of Superman

TOP 10 COMICS

(SPECIAL MENTION)

I’ve ranked my Top 10 Comics, but comics are just too prolific to be confined to a mere top ten or even my usual list of twenty special mentions.

Instead, I have two lists for special mentions – the first for comics from 2000 AD, the British weekly SF anthology comic that is my comic of choice for regular reading, and the second for comics from everyone else.

This is the latter – for comics that I enjoyed or are an enduring influence on me from publishers other than 2000 AD’s Rebellion, including self-published webcomics.

2000 AD logo

TOP 10 COMICS

(SPECIAL MENTION: 2000 AD)

I’ve ranked my Top 10 Comics but wait – there’s more!

Indeed, there’s enough for not just one but two of my usual lists of twenty special mentions.

In fairness to myself, that’s because I can compile one of those lists entirely from the anthology comic that is comic of choice for regular reading – 2000 AD, the British weekly SF anthology comic.

As it is, three of my Top 10 Comics are comics published as part of 2000 AD. First and foremost is of course Judge Dredd, 2000 AD’s most iconic character and featured in almost every weekly issue, ongoing since 2000 AD was launched in 1977 – although ironically for 2000 AD’s longest-running and flagship character, from its second issue onwards as the opening Dredd story was not ready for the first issue.

The other two entries from 2000 AD in my Top 10 Comics (in sixth and seventh place respectively) are Grant Morrison’s Zenith and Mark Millar’s Canon Fodder.

However, there’s so much more, not surprisingly for an anthology comic – usually with five comics within each weekly issue – that’s been published every week for almost half a century as at the time of this compilation.

These are my twenty special mentions for the rest of my favorite comics from 2000 AD.

The famously iconic cover of Superman’s very first appearance in Action Comics

Exactly what it says on the tin – my Top 10 Comics, including webcomics (as three of my top ten entries, indeed three of the top five).

You don’t need me to explain what comics are, but I might need to explain some things.

First, comics are my guilty reading pleasure I have retained from childhood, much like animation in TV or film. And much like animation, whatever the comic, I’ll usually enjoy checking it or its characters out.

Second, perhaps surprisingly after the first, I don’t read that many comics, let alone actively follow them. For most comics, I don’t go beyond checking them or their characters out in brief overview or review to reading them in depth. Usually, my interest is satisfied by the idea of a comic – or ideas in a comic – rather than the comic itself.

In particular, I don’t follow or read any comics from the ruling duopoly of DC and Marvel, with the exception of the former’s, ah, former label of Vertigo, although I have an enduring interest in and familiarity with many of their characters – but more in their film or television adaptations (or in their art and cosplay) than their original comics.

Anyway, these are my Top 10 Comics.

*

(10) CHARLES SOULE & SCOTT SYNDER –

UNDISCOVERED COUNTRY (Image 2019 – PRESENT)

O say can you see, by the dawn’s early…what the hell is that?!

Okay – this is a bit of a cheat as my wildcard tenth place entry, as I typically reserve it for best of the present or previous year but it’s still ongoing so….look, I make my own rules and break them anyway, okay?

Undiscovered Country starts from what might seem to be a familiar premise but one that becomes increasingly audacious…and beautifully weird. The titular Undiscovered Country is the United States or or what has become of it after it literally walled itself off from the rest of the world for thirty years (the Sealing) – land of the free and home of the brave become literal land of the lost. And by walling, I mean not just the massive physical walls but the ‘Air Wall’ of experimental force shield technology. Of course, there’s more than a few echoes of contemporary political events – and even more so in 2020 for the premise of its plot, a global pandemic that requires a team seeking a cure to breach its borders and venture into this strange and deadly ‘undiscovered’ country.

And that’s where things go “from prescient to Beyond Thunderdome: giant land sharks, tribal lunacy, jingoistic madmen galore…Forget the Land of the Free. This was Mad Max by way of the bastard son of Roald Dahl and Hunter S. Thompson. If they let the baby smoke crack a lot”. And then there’s the fact – evidenced by those mutated land sharks and jingoistic madmen – that as an effect of that force shield, much more time has seemingly passed in the lost United States than should actually be possible…

RATING:

X-TIER (WILD TIER)

*

Cover art for The Wicked + The Divine issue 17 (December 2015)

(9) KIERON GILLEN –

THE WICKED + THE DIVINE (Image 2014 – 2019)

“You are of the Pantheon. You will be loved. You will be hated. You will be brilliant. Within two years, you will be dead.”

The Wicked + The Divine features the Pantheon, a shifting rotation of gods in the Recurrence – when twelve gods (and goddesses) return (or incarnate) as young people for a bright, shining two years before burning out, as they have every ninety years for millennia. Except, you know, God, because that would just be boring. We’re talking beautiful, sexy, pop-star pagan gods and goddesses here, although they change with each Recurrence – or not, since some gods or goddesses seem to recur more than others. Or something like that because the rules are not entirely clear and keep changing.

RATING:

B-TIER (HIGH TIER)

*

(8) NICK SPENCER –

MORNING GLORIES (Image Comics 2010 – ?!)

“What did you see when your eyes were opened?”

Well, for one thing, I saw Morning Glories, an ongoing series from Image Comics that had me enraptured from the first issue I read. In the tagline of its writer Nick Spencer, it’s Runaways meets Lost (without the ending of the latter, or indeed any ending at present).

In my eyes, it’s as if the Illuminati had a high school – or perhaps more aptly, since it is referenced by name, as if Grant Morrison’s Invisibles had a high school. Or if Night Vale WAS a high school, given that it has one. Indeed, Nick Spencer shows a positively Morrisonesque flair for twists and turns of storyline, at times even coming close to Morrison’s unrivalled hand at those fabulous comics one-liners or that juxtaposition of word and image.

The Morning Glories (or just Glories) is the nickname for the protagonist group of six new students, selected for the prestigious Morning Glory Academy – selected, that is, for a very particular and peculiar set of selection criteria. Which may or may not explain that they all seem to manifest mysterious abilities or future selves, and that they all seem to have dark or strange pasts (including – perhaps – the occasional homicide).

It doesn’t explain why the location of the school is kept mysterious by drugging each new student before arrival – or why their parents don’t even seem to remember their very existence when they call them from the school (with one notable exception, which necessitates the most unfortunate consequences). It certainly doesn’t explain the “mysterious and shadowy purpose of this dizzying boarding school of horrors”, which remains mysterious and shadowy except only that it seems to be the tip of a global conspiracy – or conspiracies.

Not to mention the other paranormal phenomena or time travel within and without its walls. (In one of my favorite Morrisonesque one-liners from the series, a student enquires as to the trippy design of a time machine – “Who built it?” “You did” is the reply).

Nor does it explain the sadistic faculty staff, led by the unseen headmaster behind the scenes – who don’t hesitate to resort to progressive mind control techniques, extreme physical discipline and the occasional sacrifice.

After all, it’s “for a better future” and we all have to make sacrifices. Literally.

RATING: 

B-TIER (HIGH TIER)

*

*

2000 AD cover of Canon Fodder

(7) MARK MILLAR –

CANON FODDER (2000 AD 1993)

“Let us prey!”

The Apocalypse according to Mark.

Mark Millar, that is.

It is intriguing how often Millar gets apocalyptic in his comics, literally or figuratively – and how often Millar gets apocalyptic in the literal sense of the Book of Apocalypse.

I have two favorite particular subgenres of fantasy. The first and narrowest is what might be termed apocalyptic or post-apocalyptic fantasy, particularly if based on the actual Book of Apocalypse. The second is posthumous fantasy – not in the sense of being published posthumously but set posthumously or fantasy set in the afterlife.

And I’ve been a fan of Mark Millar ever since his surreal and characteristically irreverent fantasy comic Canon Fodder in 2000 AD, one that was apocalyptic in a literal sense and one of the few fantasy works to combine both subgenres. Well, apart from the original Book of Apocalypse.

It’s the first comic written by him that I read and remains my favorite, albeit one that Millar himself may not remember so fondly as 2000 AD featured a sequel written by another writer and there was a dispute about ownership of the character for further development of the series. Even so, I still like the sequel – not equal to the first written by Millar but the substitute writer did a decent job.

But in a sense this entry bookmarks a place in my top ten for Millar, as I could readily compile my Top 10 Mark Millar Comics, with one Millar series after another. He has consistently written his own independent creator-owned comics under his unified label Millarworld, notably for Image Comics. It helps that his comics have a healthy rate of adaptation to film or television. The former include titles such as Kickass and Kingsman. The latter is particularly so after his Millarworld label was purchased by Netflix to adapt his comics for television, with my favorite so far as the animated adaptation of Supercrooks.

Anyway, my featured quote is the catchphrase of the titular Canon Fodder, presumably an alias, gun-toting cleric and last surviving member of the Priest Patrol, a bizarre four-man team conflation between the Church and the police. Now that’s religion! The other three members were Deacon Blue, Father O’Blivion and Cardinal Syn.

The dead are resurrected to join the living in an apparently overcrowded post-Judgement Day (and partly post-apocalyptic) Earth but one in which God has conspicuously failed to return. That sets the plot in motion – as Sherlock Holmes and Moriarty kill themselves in a suicide pact to seek vengeance against God in Heaven, while Watson engages Fodder and a Hannibal Lecter-like Mycroft Holmes to stop them. But there are much bigger things afoot in heaven and earth…

RATING:

A-TIER (TOP TIER)

One of my favorite scenes from this or any other comic. Also captures how I often feel at work – or in life

(6) GRANT MORRISON –

ZENITH (2000 AD 1987-1992)

“I ravaged…I destroyed this world. Three billion people dead. Boo hoo. Made a desert of the world. Thank you. Silence then. At last. And ssssolitude. Then the lloigor came. They offered me a place in their ranks. A test of faith was required. Rrrrrr. So I tore, that is to say, I rrrripped ripped out my own eyes. My own eyes. And for the first time, I saw. Thank you. Now. Do you really believe I will let you stop me?”

Best villainous monologue ever.

Opinion is mixed about Morrison. In the words of TV Tropes, some people love him, while others “believe he’s just some wacky guy…whose constant forays into This is Your Premise on Drugs ends up dominating his books”. Although come on, be honest – even the latter sounds more awesome than many other things you read. Granted, Morrison can be self-indulgent and wildly esoteric, but then what else would you expect from a practicing chaos magician? (Seriously). What he never fails to be, even when his stories don’t quite work – or work all too well as sheer mind screws – is interesting and intriguing.

Like the other writers of the British invasion of American comics, Morrison won his reputation revamping comics characters (starting with DC Comics’ obscure Animal Man for its Vertigo imprint), but perhaps distinguished himself even more so than the other writers – to the point he has been styled as the ‘revamp guy’ and to the point he can make any comics character AWESOME.

However, my favorite Morrison work remains his first substantial work for 2000 AD, which brought him to the attention of DC Comics and other American publishers – Zenith. Perhaps that’s because of the perfect combination of his writing with the art of Steve Yeowell – or perhaps because his more flamboyant and mind screwy elements remain subdued in its elegant story and classic deconstruction of superheroes.

The starting premise of Zenith is similar to that of Captain America – the Second World War and a serum that creates superhuman powers. Unfortunately, it’s the Nazis that have the serum to create their Nazi superman, Masterman. Even worse, the Nazis obtained the serum from the lloigor, who are nothing other than the extradimensional beings of the Cthulhu Mythos, down to their very names – although Morrison adapted Yog Soggoth to Iok Sotot and made him even more terrifying. The serum is simply their means to create superhuman bodies capable of being occupied by the lloigor as they come into this world. True to their Lovecraftian roots, the lloigor are beings beyond time and space, beings of infinite power and infinite cruelty – well, either that or the most dangerous lava lamp in history…?

Fortunately, German defectors help the British to replicate the serum for the British superhero, Maximan. That’s effectively where the comic starts – and it illustrates Morrison’s ability to juxtapose words and visual images perfectly, as well as to cut from one scene to another. The opening scene is in the style of a kitsch British wartime newsreel, proudly displaying the feats of Maximan defeating German forces and declaring “it could all be over by Christmas”.

Cut to Berlin, 21 December 1944 – the Nazi Masterman stands gloating over the broken and fallen Maximan. “Does it hurt? I hope so. Even if I let you live, you’ll never use your legs again, you know that?” All Maximan can do in reply is murmur his hopeless prayer – Psalm 23 – and Masterman gloats further. “Save your breath. No one is listening. There’s no one up there”

Except…there is, although not quite in the sense that either of them had in mind, as we cut to an American plane, about to drop “the big one” – the atomic bomb – except in this history on Berlin. And we cut back to Masterman and Maximan as they are enveloped in light.

The story continues with a new generation of British superheroes created by the serum – but which have apparently lost their powers, been killed or disappeared, except for Zenith, a second generation superhero born of two superhuman parents, both killed by the American ‘Shadowmen’ agents. However, the Cult of the Black Sun – the secret society behind the Nazis – have other plans for Zenith, as they revive the Masterman twin for a new and more powerful lloigor. From this relatively straightforward contest, the story becomes increasingly complex and dark – more superhumans are introduced due to secret illegal testing of the serum and still more to a cosmic battle across parallel worlds as the lloigor seek the ‘alignment’ that will deliver the multiverse to them, concluding with the truly apocalyptic climax as the lloigor are finally unveiled for what they truly were, are and will be.

It would be amiss of me to conclude without reference to my favorite characteristic of Morrison – his ability to write perfect comic one-liners and dialogue. An example is when the organization secretly testing superhumans sent a killer robot after Zenith – Zenith destroys it, but not before it sends its footage back to the organization. One of them muses about Zenith – “He has his mother’s eyes”. The other replies “Really? I thought we had his mother’s eyes”. And indeed they do – the actual eyes in a jar behind them in their laboratory.

And we’ve all mocked villain monologues – but Morrison shows how it is done, to chilling effect (with verbal tics of insanity).

RATING: 

A-TIER (TOP TIER)

Cover of Empowered volume 1 by creator – artist and writer – Adam Warren

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(5) ADAM WARREN –

EMPOWERED (Dark Horse 2007 – present)

“A sexy superhero comedy (except when it isn’t)”

The titular heroine and her series, originated from commissioned ‘bondage’ sketches of a comics superheroine ‘damsel-in-distress’, which then became the basis for the episodic shorts for the commencement of the series, illustrated in Warren’s characteristic ‘manga’ influenced style. The series started (and still continues to some extent) as a playful deconstruction of superhero comics tropes, particularly those involving female superheroes, along with (in the words of TV Tropes) “healthy doses of bondage, fanservice and comedy”.

Indeed, it’s a fantasy kitchen sink of comics tropes and more – alien doomsday technology, clans of ninjas in New Jersey, grandiloquent interdimensional hell-beings (trapped in coffee table ornaments), deals with the devil, psi powers, undead superheroes (or the ‘superdead’) and catgirls (nyaan!)

Empowered herself is a “plucky D-list superheroine”, who is precariously dependent and constantly betrayed by the fragile, fickle source of her superpowers – her skin-tight ‘hypermembrane’ suit. As a consequence, Empowered spends most of her time with her suit in tatters or various states of undress, bound and gagged by supervillains or even common criminals, a joke to her superhero peers and supervillains alike (albeit something of status symbol as arm candy to the latter).

As the series has progressed however, it has developed deeper, darker and longer story arcs – and Empowered has emerged as an increasingly formidable superheroine, relying on her wits and strength of character to overcome the flaws of her suit. On the other hand, her superhero colleagues or ‘Capes’ have become increasingly darker – beware the Superman! Remember San Antonio!

RATING:

A-TIER (TOP TIER)

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Halfling ranger Belkar Bitterleaf in perhaps his most iconic scene (and one of my favorite scenes) from episode 439 Seeing Orange

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(4) RICH BURLEW –

ORDER OF THE STICK (WEBCOMIC 2003 – present)

“Roy Greenhilt: The rogue is ambitious and greedy, the ranger is a complete psychopath, the wizard is trigger-happy and never stops talking, and the bard is as dumb as a box of moldy carrots!

Durkon Thundershield: As I recall, ye called me “surly and unpleasant” shortly after ye met me. […] Maybe all these folks need is a good strong leader like ye ta whip ’em inta shape.”

And that pretty much sums up The Order of the Stick webcomic and the titular protagonist adventuring group.

A stick figure fantasy webcomic – although ‘stick figure’ belies the versatility of the art style, particularly in later comics – primarily based on Dungeons and Dragons, specifically the so-called 3.5 edition of the game (which has moved on to other editions since). Its origin as a gag-a-day strip, parodying the idiosyncrasies of the game and its rules in a classic dungeon crawl, belied its depth as it has evolved into a sweeping fantasy epic, retaining its humor but with cosmic stakes as well as plot twists and turns that make The Lord of the Rings look like, well, The Hobbit. Speaking of hobbits, or more precisely the game’s namesake halflings, much of the comic’s humor originates in its halfling character, who is indeed a chaotic stab-happy psychopath.

Beyond its humor and epic fantasy, it extends well beyond a parody of Dungeons and Dragons to deconstructing the fantasy genre itself and its narrative tropes. The characters, not unlike actual players in Dungeons and Dragons, are well aware that they are characters in a fantasy game universe, but also in a webcomic, and are extremely genre savvy to show for it – not just about the D&D rules and gameplay mechanics by which their world operates, but general storytelling tropes as well.

RATING: 

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(3) TOM PARKINSON-MORGAN –

KILL SIX BILLION DEMONS (webcomic / Image 2013 – present)

“The king of creation fell out of heaven, usurped by a seven headed beast. But the old king shall choose a new, and he will ignite the third conquest. He will be flanked by a white and a black flame, his coming will be followed by 108 burning stars. He will bear the terrible heat of the voice in his brow, the mark of his lordliness. He will face the beast – and he will annihilate it. He will wield the terrible blade of want, and the pillars of heaven will quake with his coming. And his name – his name will be – Kill Six Billion Demons.”

Kill Six Billion Demons by Tom Parkinson-Morgan (or Orbital Dropkick as he presently styles himself on social media) is a ‘New Weird’ fantasy webcomic, “stuffed with sumptuous insanity”. Or as I prefer to call it – psychedelic cosmic fantasy. Funnily enough, I see parallels between it and Garth Nix’s The Keys to the Kingdom, although it is a lot more, well, psychedelic and cosmic than the latter’s young adult fantasy.

God is dead and so are the gods, leaving only war in heaven as the most powerful beings vie to inherit the multiverse, although for now there is an uneasy truce between the seven beings – the Seven – that have emerged victorious to rule it between them in Throne, the heart of the multiverse. But before them was the legendary Conquering King, first to rule over Throne, but who abandoned it and disappeared with the Key of Kings, which holds the power to overthrow the Seven and conquer the multiverse itself. Which he returns from death itself (no big consequence to such beings) to give to Allison Ruth, a simple barrista from Earth, who finds herself plucked to the very heart of multiverse as its new champion and with a quest evoked by her new name – Kill Six Billion Demons.

RATING: 5 STARS*****

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(2) TRUDY COOPER & DOUG BAYNE –

OGLAF (Webcomic 2008 – present)

A weekly webcomic every Sunday by Australian creators.

A fantasy comic and comic fantasy – the latter in that it deconstructs, parodies or subverts virtually every fantasy trope, many drawn from the creators’ obvious familiarity with Dungeons and Dragons. In the words of Comics Alliance – “Oglaf is a sex comedy webcomic set in a world created by shoving every existing fantasy world into a blender and setting it on puree. There’s no overall plot, but many recurring characters and storylines, all in service to some of the funniest smut on the web”.

Yes – it is funny. And yes – oh my goddess – it is smutty. As per its origin in its opening disclaimer – “This comic started as an attempt to make p0rnography. It degenerated into sex comedy pretty much immediately”. Definitely not-safe-for-work (NSFW). Indeed, it’s an exceptional Oglaf that isn’t smutty. Of course, a large part of the smut is also part of the comic fantasy, playing with those fantasy tropes or the sexuality, repressed or otherwise beneath their surface. So yes – it’s mostly a fantasy sex comedy, well – ah – serviced by Cooper’s art. One should note that it is extremely diverse in its sexuality and indeed its multi-racial or polysexual characters – strikingly so for fantasy, which despite its premise is all too often traditional in its mores.

It’s mostly an episodic gag a week, although there are recurring characters. There also are (or at least were) occasional longer story arcs involving them. Ironically, the title character, although technically recurring (in a couple or so episodes), is essentially a gag character for the title – a shepherd boy with a very unusual (and NSFW) magical talent which somehow annoints him as the chosen one (although not chosen for much beyond the title). The closest thing the comic had to a protagonist was Ivan, a literal sorcerer’s apprentice (of sorts) to the sadistic Mistress. Other recurring characters occasionally rise to the fore as semi-protagonists – kinky female vampire Navaan, humorless female mercenary Greir and my favorite, Kronar, an obvious parody of Conan from a tribe of male barbarians so manly they don’t contaminate themselves with women and show each other their honor (and yes – that is a euphemism).

RATING: 5 STARS*****

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(1) JUDGE DREDD (2000 AD 1977 – present)

“I am the Law!”

You knew this was coming – I’ve said it before so I’ll just say it again!

My first and true love in comics is not one of the ruling duopoly of comics, DC and Marvel Comics, nor strictly speaking a superhero comic (although its main character is arguably as much of a ‘superhero’ as Batman), nor even an American comic (although it is set there, albeit drastically transformed in the twenty-second century).

It is Judge Dredd, the most iconic character from the British weekly SF anthology comic, 2000 AD, ongoing since it was launched in 1977 – although ironically for 2000 AD’s longest-running and flagship character from its second issue, as the opening Dredd story was not ready for the first issue. Time has passed in the Dredd strip essentially the same as in real time ever since, so a year passes in the comic for each year in real life (except of course 122 years later) – the first Dredd story in 1977 was set in 2099 and the present stories in 2024 are set in 2146 (an interesting feature as distinct from many American comic franchises).

Unfortunately, American audiences remain somewhat unfamiliar with (or unresponsive to) Judge Dredd, despite his American setting (albeit futuristic) and despite that he is effectively a quintessential American hero in the same vein as Batman – relying on superior discipline, training, experience, equipment and resources, except as a governmental lawman rather than a vigilante billionaire. They even both effectively remain masked in their public identities, as Dredd never removes his helmet. This is despite his iconic status, particularly in Britain, and despite American audiences being familiar with many of the alumni of 2000 AD, as virtually every British writer (and artist) of note working in American comics started there (and indeed often in the Judge Dredd storyline itself) – Alan Moore, Grant Morrison, Neil Gaiman, Mark Millar and so on.

Even more unfortunately, the most substantial introduction of American audiences to Judge Dredd was the 1995 film, although fortunately that particular horror is fading with time. This Hollywood travesty was particularly inexcusable, because the essence of Judge Dredd is ultimately very simple – Judge Dredd is a futuristic Dirty Harry in a dystopian (and post-apocalyptic) SF satire. How hard is that, Hollywood?! On second thoughts, this simple formula is probably too much for Hollywood to handle – when they couldn’t even have Dredd keep his helmet on throughout the film.

The 2012 film was much more effective in capturing the elements of the original comic (not least in keeping Dredd’s helmet on throughout the film), but not as effective in capturing an audience. In its own way, this is as unfortunate as the first film, particularly at a time when comic book movies are in such vogue (and dystopian or post-apocalyptic movies have always been popular) – because if ever a comic deserved its own cinematic or screen adaptation, it’s Dredd, especially when you consider the dreck (or drokk – Judge Dredd slang in-joke alert) that does get adaptations. Perhaps a television adaptation would have been better, as it suits the more episodic nature as well as longer arcs of the storyline.

And then there’s my ongoing Mega-City Law features here devoted to Judge Dredd, including my ten reasons why Judge Dredd is the galaxy’s greatest comic – and why it deserves its own cinematic or screen universe:

RATING: 5 STARS*****

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