Category Archives: Top Tens

Top Tens – History: Top 10 Empires

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“The Rhodes Colossus”, a cartoon by Edward Linley Sambourne published in Punch magazine in 1892

 

Given my interest in military history, it’s not surprising that I’ve also always found empires a fascinating subject of history, again from the fortunate perspective of being well removed from the sharp end of them. Empires are typically creatures of military conquest or power, and rise and fall by war.

Indeed, the two books that define my historical (and political) worldview are Sun Tzu’s The Art of War and Edward Gibbon’s Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire (yes – I know I’ve shortened the title for the latter) – so it’s not surprising that their subject matter, war and empires, also define my primary interests in history.

Not all empires are equal, however. Not even the same empire, as like the proverbial river of Heraclitus, you cannot step into the same empire twice.

Of course, that is perhaps implicit in their rise and fall, particularly when the fall of one empire is at the hands of the rise of another – such as when you have a tale of two empires, in a strikingly memorable phrase (for the 1945 Soviet offensive against Japan in Manchuria), one “at the absolute top of its game” and the other “dying and insane”.

So these are my Top 10 Empires of History. These are not ranked by how large, populous, rich, powerful or influential they are, but by my historical interest in them – although this tends to overlap with the former criteria. For example, of the ten largest historical empires by area at their greatest extent, all but two of them pop up in my Top 10 (with the other two in my special mentions).

Just some further notes, as with my Top 10 Wars, I have some ratings within each entry:

 

DECLINE & FALL

I have to admit that my particular interest in empires is not so much in their robust rise, but in their decline and fall. But again, not all empires are equal in their decline and fall. Some empires seem to collapse almost overnight, but others hold the line over incredible areas or incredible periods of time (or both), even rebounding or bouncing back. My interest is in the latter, so just how impressive or tenacious was each empire’s decline and fall?

 

THE EMPIRE NEVER FELL

On the other hand, rating the empires by their temporal span, particularly for that arguably never fell, or still haunt the world as ghosts or shadows.

 

THE SUN NEVER SETS

Rating the wars by their geographic scale as world empire. It was famously said of one empire as descriptive of its extent that the sun never set on it. Actually it was said of at least one other empire before that, with precursors even before that, but never mind that now.

 

EVIL EMPIRE

Yes, yes – they’re all evil. But just how evil?

But seriously, no empire rises to or maintains its power by being nice. They do it by crushing their opponents or rebellious subjects – “they make a desolation and call it peace”. Hence rating how brutally or ruthlessly they did so – just how evil was each empire?

But also seriously, history usually does not repay moral judgements, particularly contemporary moral judgements. Almost every empire proclaims itself to be spreading civilisation or bringing some benefit to its subjects – and all but the most destructive have at least some merit in those claims. Empires were often the only means for any political unity above the tribal level, or indeed peace from inter-tribal warfare, although of course both were typically achieved by an imperial “tribe” or nation subjugating others, usually with great death or destruction, even if it subsequently absorbed or adopted the latter as citizens or soldiers of empire.

Also, prior to modern concepts of ethnic national self-determination, I tend to regard all polities as imperial in nature, at least in so far as they comprised any more than one ethnic group, and generally even in the case of more homogenous or tribal polities over their own members, in the absence of any concept of participatory representation.

 

So these are my top ten empires in history. And yes – this is another of my deep dive top tens, counting down from tenth to first place and looking at individual entries in some depth or detail of themselves.

But wait – there’s more! The subject is prolific enough for my usual twenty special mentions per top ten and for honorable mentions beyond that.

 

Top Tens – History: Top 10 Wars

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One of the most iconic photographs of war – Raising the Flag on Iwo Jima by Joe Rosenthal of the Associated Press

 

I’ve always found wars a fascinating subject of history, from the comfortable armchair of hindsight and the fortunate perspective of being well removed from any firsthand experience of them. History, particularly military history, has always been something of a hobby of mine. So of course I have ranked my Top 10 Wars of history.

Just some notes – these are not ranked by scale of destruction or historical impact, although I’d like to think that most or all of these entries would rank highly by those criteria. They are also not ranked by moral justifiability or in terms of being ‘good’ wars, to the extent that such a term can be used for wars, if at all. Rather, they are ranked in terms of historical interest to me – and I tend to be interested in the broader themes of history, so I have preferred a broader classification of the wars in each entry, although I do nominate individual wars (or conquests or invasions) within each entry.

 

Just some further notes – I have some ratings within each entry:

 

ART OF WAR

Rating the wars by the art of war shown in them, typically by the victors of course, albeit based on my more idiosyncratic application of Sun Tzu’s Art of War.

 

WORLD WAR

Rating the wars by their scale – some wars might well be considered world wars (or at least part of world wars) beyond the two twentieth century wars formally designated as such, from World War Zero to World War X.

 

STILL FIGHTING THE WAR

Rating the wars by their span, particularly for those wars we are arguably still fighting.

 

GOOD GUYS VS BAD GUYS

Rating the wars by taking a shot at choosing moral sides or nominating the good guys and bad guys – or not, since history usually does not repay moral judgements.

 

So these are my top ten wars in history. You know the rules – this is one of my deep dive top tens, counting down from tenth to first place and looking at individual entries in some depth or detail of themselves.

But wait – there’s more! The subject is prolific enough for my usual twenty special mentions per top ten and for honorable mentions beyond that.

Top Tens – History: Top 10 Books

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Marble bust of Herodotus, the “Father of HIstory” – public domain image donated to Wikimedia Commons as part of a project by the Metropolitan Museum of Art

 

History repeats itself – the first time as tragedy, the second time as farce.

History does not repeat but sometimes it rhymes.

History is just one damned thing after another.

Ah yes, history – and three of my favorite quotes about it.

The first is paraphrasing an actual quote by Karl Marx – often overlooked by people, even Marxists, as someone who could be quite the capable prose stylist when not bogged down in denser prose or theory.

The second is often attributed to Mark Twain – someone who is widely acknowledged as a capable prose stylist, except that he doesn’t seem to have actually said it.

The third quip is often quoted from historian Toynbee – correctly but somewhat misleadingly because firstly, it was adapted from a preceding popular saying about life, and secondly, he was using it to criticize historians who simply sought to chronicle history rather than analyze it.

Toynbee definitely fell in the latter category – a historian whose central theme was identifying, well, the themes of history, its cycles and patterns, its plot and rhythm (or history rhyming if you will).

History has been a subject that has fascinated me since childhood, when I read it avidly – and still does as I read it now, hence my Top 10 History Books.

The subject of history in its broadest sense is perhaps straightforward enough – “the systematic study and documentation” of the human past or past events, usually demarcated from prehistory as the past or events subsequent to the invention of writing systems (or written history in other words, although it might be corroborated by other sources such as archaeology).

Beyond that, it gets a little tricky with all the permutations of the various subjects of history or even the concept of history itself – so many permutations that it could be the subject of its own top ten and certainly has been the subject of debate among historians.

“History is an academic discipline which uses a narrative to describe, examine, question, and analyze past events, and investigate their patterns of cause and effect. Historians debate which narrative best explains an event, as well as the significance of different causes and effect. Historians debate the nature of history as an end in itself, and its usefulness in giving perspective on the problems of the present.”

I’m not here to seek to resolve any of these debates, if such a thing is even possible – I’m just here to read books on history and, you know, live in it. To adapt my own quote of living in a mythic world, I live in a historic world. We all do.

That said, what I will do is clarify my tastes in history books. I definitely lean more towards Toynbee’s concept of history as themes or patterns, preferring history books that are more analysis than chronicle. All my top ten might be said to be analytical or thematic history, albeit some more than others.

I also tend to prefer my thematic history on a grand scale – the scale of comparative or global history. Not always of course, but often – it is a preference after all, characterizing at least six of my top ten books.

I also tend to have a preference for military history – put bluntly, the history of wars and empires, or indeed of war and empire in the general thematic sense. The latter characterizes two of my top ten books as general histories of war and warfare.

Following on from the history of wars and empires, it might be cliched but foremost among my subjects of preference are the Roman Empire and the Second World War (although Alexander the Great and the Cold War are close – and somewhat overlapping – runners-up for each respectively). Two of my top ten books have their subject as a focus on the Roman Empire, while another two are with respect to the Second World War.

I also can’t invoke capable prose style in my introduction without noting my preference for a good or even literary prose style in my books of history – some historians or historical writers are definitely better than others.

So here are my top ten books of history. You know the rules – this is one of my deep dive top tens, counting down from tenth to first place and looking at individual entries in some depth or detail of themselves. Tenth place is my wildcard entry for the best entry from the previous year (2023).

But wait – there’s more! The subject is prolific enough for my usual twenty special mentions per top ten and for honorable mentions beyond that.

Top Tens – Film: Top 10 Films (Complete Top 10)

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Exactly what it says on the tin – my top ten films.

 

Well, perhaps not quite exactly as these are my top ten non-‘genre’ films – that is, excluding ‘genre’ films such as fantasy or SF films, animated films, films adapted from comics, and horror films, all of which have their own top tens. I also rank comedy films in their own top ten.

 

That said, quite a few of my non-genre films have fantasy or SF elements, just not predominantly so to rank them within the genre – but I will have a special section in each entry to note fantasy or SF elements. Also, almost every film has comedic elements or at least the odd gag – after all, one could classify almost every narrative work by the comedy-tragedy dichotomy of classical Greek drama – so I will also have a special section for comedy in each entry.

 

And yes – I know animation is more a medium than its own genre, although animated films are predominantly fantasy or SF genre. The same goes for films adapted from comics, although that depends on the genre of comic.

 

And no – despite my feature image being the poster for Citizen Kane, “frequently cited as the greatest film ever made”, it is not in my top ten, although I suppose that fortuitously avoids spoiling any entry. While I have seen it, found it engaging enough, and acknowledge its innovative technical brilliance…sadly I tend towards the view of the film expressed by Peter Griffin in The Family Guy, albeit I wouldn’t go quite so far as he did. (In one of its signature cutaway gags, Peter has been banned from the video stores for taping over their movies. In the case of Citizen Kane, he tapes over it to say “It was his sled from when he was a kid. There, I just saved you two long, boobless hours”).

 

It could be worse. It could be Peter Griffin’s opinion of The Godfather – he didn’t care for it, as “it insists upon itself”.

 

Anyway, here are my Top 10 Films, compiled in one post (and page) from their previous individual entries. 

 

 

Theatrical release poster art

 

(10) DAVID LEITCH –

THE FALL GUY (2024)

 

My wildcard tenth place entry for best non-genre film for 2024 goes to The Fall Guy, the most fun I’ve had in a cinema this year so far. And what’s not to love about a movie filmed and set in Australia? (Sydney in case you were wondering).

 

Just like Bullet Train did before it in 2022 as another film directed by David Leitch – and I wouldn’t be surprised if Leitch manages to keep doing it. Bullet Train was probably quirkier fun that The Fall Guy but the latter has a broader and more easy-going charm.

 

Leitch just makes fun popcorn-munching films with standout action set pieces, not surprisingly from his background as a stunt performer – including as stunt double for Brad Pitt (who starred as the protagonist in Bullet Train).

 

His (uncredited) directorial debut was a little film in 2014 called John Wick. He followed that up with Atomic Blonde and its gritty action scenes revolving around Charlize Theron as protagonist – which with Bullet Train and The Fall Guy would comprise my holy trinity of Leitch films to date.

 

Yes – I love John Wick but it’s not pure Leitch as he was co-director with the credited director Chad Stehelski. He also directed Deadpool 2 and Hobbs & Shaw but they’re not quite in the same league as the trinity.

 

As for The Fall Guy, what more do you need to know than it broke a Guiness World Record for the most cannon rolls in a car?

 

Okay, okay – perhaps a little more but it’s clearly Leitch directing “a love letter to stunts” in tribute to his former career, using practical stunts in highly choreographed action sequences and a nice nod to just what goes into bringing an action sequence to the screen. For the record – and I’m sure it’s part of the film’s joke – the film within the film looks as if it would be terrible and cheesily over the top.

 

Beyond that it’s an action-comedy film like its predecessor Bullet Train, but in its case loosely based on the 1980s TV series about stunt performers (so keep an eye out for those cameos from the series). Ryan Gosling is his usual charismatic self as the stuntman protagonist “working on his ex-girlfriend’s (Emily Blunt) directorial debut action film, only to find caught up in a conspiracy involving the film’s lead actor” – played by Bullet Train alumni (and future James Bond) Aaron Taylor-Johnson.

 

And it’s hoot, even if (or perhaps especially as) the plot veers into the usual absurdity of action films.

 

 

FANTASY & SF

 

I suppose you could count the film within the film – an SF film of alien war or invasion. However – few fantasy or SF elements in the film itself unless you count drug hallucinations or the suspension of disbelief from just how absurd the plot gets.

 

COMEDY

 

Definitely comedic elements – so much so that you could probably rank it as a comedy, but I feel the action looms larger, particularly in those exquisitely choreographed and crafted stunts.

 

 

RATING: 4 STARS****
X-TIER (WILD TIER)

 

Theatrical release poster

 

(9) ROBERT EGGERS –

THE NORTHMAN (2022)

 

“I will avenge you, father. I will save you, mother. I will kill you, Fjolnir”.

 

Well, two out of three ain’t bad.

 

A retelling of the legend of Amleth – the source for Shakespeare’s Hamlet.

 

If there’s one thing director Robert Eggers is known for, it’s for making mythic worlds – films that utterly and viscerally immerse their audience into the world of their stories, characteristically with “their central elements of mythology and folklore”, down to the finest detail.

 

He did it with The Witch and he did it here – with Anya Taylor-Joy as a common denominator between them and I have a thing for those fey eyes of hers. He does it better in The Northman – for one thing he has more mythic elements to play with from Norse mythology (and European magic) and for another he improves upon the more ponderous pacing of The Witch, arguably a side effect of his world-immersion but one keeps much tighter here.

 

His work is pretty impressive as he only has three films under his belt – with a fourth film upcoming in 2024, his passion projecy Nosferatu. (I skipped The Lighthouse, his second film between The Witch and The Northman).

 

I can’t mention Anya Taylor-Joy without mentioning Alexander Skarsgard as the titular Northman, an actor born to play a berserker if ever there was one – and that continuous tracking shot of him through an attack on a village is a thing to behold. (Heh – berserking is in the eye of the beholder).

 

And if we’re to mention standout scenes – there’s my personal standout scene(s) of the Valkyrie and her otherworldly ferocity, even if people mistook her filed teeth for braces.

 

I can’t resist wrapping up with this quote by reviewer David Ehrlich for Indiewire, calling the film “primal, sinewy, gnarly-as-f*ck” and “grab-you-by-the-throat intense”.

 

 

FANTASY & SF

 

And how! The mythic elements – reflecting the worldview of its characters – loom so large the film borders on fantasy, including that final volcanic surreal showdown.

 

COMEDY

 

Eggers…isn’t big on comedic elements. So, no – or few and far between.

 

 

RATING: 4 STARS****

B-TIER (HIGH TIER)

 

From the films’ theatrical release poster

 

 

(8) GARETH EVANS –

THE RAID (2011)

100 minutes of awesomeness in a frenetic, claustrophobic martial arts action masterpiece – the martial arts being the Indonesian pencak silat that is showcased by the film’s fight choreography and the claustrophobic being the film’s premise.

That premise being an Indonesian police squad deployed to raid a drug lord’s apartment block in the sums of Jakarta – actually a fortress-like safe house for the city’s worst criminals – only to find themselves forced to fight their way through the complex to carry out their mission or just to survive long enough to escape.

“Good morning, everyone. You may have noticed we have some guests trawling the halls today. Now, I certainly did not invite them and they most certainly are not welcome. So, in the interests of public health, should you rid this building of its recent infestation, well, then, you can consider yourself a permanent resident of this building. Free of charge. You’ll find these f*cking cockroaches on the sixth floor. Now, go to work. And please, please enjoy yourself.”

And yes – it was the same premise that was (independently) used to similarly great effect in the 2012 Dredd film.

And ever since, I’ve enjoyed whenever The Raid pops up in one form or another – most obviously in its 2014 sequel, which maintained the frenetic action of the first. You know you’re in for glorious action when the climax of the film is preceded by a character telling its action hero that the only way to solve his problems is to kill all of the parties responsible. My personal highlight of the sequel was the assassin duo dubbed Hammer Girl and Baseball Bat Man.

I also get excited whenever I see what I call the Raid guys – primarily Iko Suwais and ‘Mad Dog’ Yahan Ruhian – in a film. Even when they were disappointingly wasted in The Force Awakens. Fortunately, John Wick Chapter 3 made up for that.

I’m also counting it as The Raid popping up for any film by the same director Gareth Evans – which admittedly has only been one film after the two Raid films so far, albeit the decent folk horror flick Apostle.

 

FANTASY & SF

No, except to the extent that the intense fighting skill and survival of characters borders on supernatural.

 

COMEDY

Again, not really any comedic elements, except occasionally of the blacker kind

 

RATING: 4 STARS****

B-TIER (HIGH TIER)

 

One of the best movie poster images (for John Wick 2)

 

(7) JOHN WICK (2014 – PRESENT)

 

 “Yeah, I’m thinking I’m back”

 

You sure are, John Wick, you sure are. You too, Keanu.

 

The best action franchise of the twenty-first century. There – I said it. Also one of the best roaring rampages of revenge and one-man armies on screen. Also some of the best poster designs.

 

I also dig the whole assassin mystique and mythos it’s got going, with its intricate rituals and rules, implausible as it all is – the implausibility just makes it more mythic! The Continental, the High Table, and so on. Although I suspect real hitmen are a lot less glamorous and a lot more seedy.

 

“Neo-noir action thriller franchise…set in a shadowy world of assassins and criminals”. I can’t resist quoting TV Tropes that “the films can be best described as what happens when Neo is reimagined in the real world as the deadliest assassin alive”.

 

It has been hailed as reviving the flagging action genre, not least due to its “choreographed sequences and practical effects that were filmed in long takes” – none of that quick cut shaky-cam crap. Also lots of gunplay and headshots – not that John needs a gun to kill anyone. A book, a pencil, a horse – anything will do.

 

This entry represents the franchise as whole – four films deep and spinoffs as at 2024 – but if I have to choose one, it would have to be the 2014 original film for the franchise at its freshest, albeit Chapter Four comes close in the sequels.

 

FANTASY & SF

 

That assassin mystique and mythos borders on fantasy, while John Wick’s skill and survivability borders on supernatural ability (as do the action sequences in general).

 

COMEDY

 

Surprisingly for a film set in the underworld of assassins, it hits some black and dry comedic beats.

 

 

RATING: 4 STARS****

A-TIER (TOP TIER)

 

The iconic James Bond gun barrel opening sequence

 

(6) JAMES BOND (1962 – PRESENT)

 

“Bond, James Bond”

A spy action film franchise that needs little more than its iconic protagonist’s own signature introduction.

Well, perhaps a little more introduction – James Bond codenamed 007 as British special agent of the 00 section of MI-6 (the 00 signifying licence to kill), created by Ian Fleming as protagonist of the books (and stories) that were the origin of the franchise.

There’s enough in the franchise not only for a top ten Bond films and special mentions (or alternatively a top ten worst Bond films) – twenty-seven films and counting as at 2024 – but also easily for a top ten elements or motifs of Bond mythos.

The Bond girls. The Bond villains – and their infamous flaws of monologuing (to Bond) or just not shooting Bond as opposed to convoluted death traps or schemes. (To borrow a quote from Family Guy – “Sure, you could kill me with your gun but are you willing to try something much more elaborate and unnecessary?”)

The Bond gadgets. The Bond cars. The Bond one-liners. The Bond action prologue – introduced with the Bond gun barrel sequence and concluding with the Bond title sequence (and song). The exotic Bond globetrotting. Shaken not stirred – Bond’s drinking habits and games of chance or skill. (I seem to recall that Fleming was also fond of sumptuous descriptions of Bond’s dining or food although that hasn’t been adapted as much into film).

The Bond secondary cast from MI-6 – M, Q and Moneypenny. Recurring Bond characters (or actors) in general. Bond’s allies – perhaps foremost among them his CIA contact Felix Leiter. For that matter, typically a climactic Bond action sequence with special forces allied to Bond assaulting the villain’s forces or lair – even IN SPACE!

Heck – you could just squeeze out enough James Bonds for a top ten James Bonds, with six actors having official portrayed the character and a seventh signed up. Yes – I know that leaves three short but in addition to counting Sean Connery at least twice (at least once more in addition to his original run for the unofficial Never Say Never and arguably also for Diamonds are Forever as yet another separate incarnation in the role), there’s also Barry Nelson and David Niven in different adaptations of Casino Royale.

At very least you could compile a top ten of his incredibly versatile proficiencies or skills, and for that matter his character traits or types. As per TV Tropes – “the Ace, the Charmer, the Deadpan Snarker, the Renaissance Man, the Man of Wealth and Taste, the One-Man Army, the Professional Killer, the Sociopathic Hero, the Alcoholic, the Orphan, and the man who can always find women but can never find love. Which of these traits are pushed to the forefront will depend on the tone of the movie in question.”

And that’s not to mention all the inspirations for and adaptations, imitations or parodies of the character, enough for their own top ten (and more) – in turn reflecting Bond himself “having become one of the most iconic and quintessential action heroes in fiction”, founding the “tuxedo and martini subgenre” while defining “most of modern spy fiction and much of the action genre”.

Dare I describe the Bond film franchise as the Roman Empire of film franchises, with its various rises and resurgences or declines and falls?

Playing with that, the first Sean Connery films would be the classical empire of the first and second centuries – at its archetypal height but not without its excesses.

George Lazenby (and Diamonds are Forever) might be likened to Rome in crisis after its classical zenith, although this is unfair not only to Lazenby’s performance but even more so his film On His Majesty’s Secret Service – which is a fine Bond film, with some of the finest elements of any Bond film. (Its Bond girl for one thing and its banging theme tune for another).

The early Roger Moore films would be the resurgent later empire after the crisis of the third century, before devolving into the campy later Roger Moore films in the decline and fall of that half of the franchise. Timothy Dalton and the early Pierce Brosnan films might be likened to the eastern empire, a little rough around the edges to start after the fall of the Moore franchise before their own resurgence – but collapsing with the later Brosnan films on a camp scale almost to the point of the later Moore films.

The Daniel Craig films would be the eastern empire bouncing back to its medieval heights, with a blunter and tougher protagonist (Bond the Bulgar Slayer, anyone?) before crumbling in turn.

Which brings me to the question of which Bond film to choose, if I have to choose one film above all others in this entry – it was a close call with Casino Royale, but I’d have to go with Goldfinger as the archetypal or definitive Bond film. Even if, much like Indiana Jones in the Raiders of the Lost Ark film, Bond doesn’t actually do anything in it to achieve the final result.

 

FANTASY & SF

 

No fantasy in Bond – other than the obvious lifestyle or wish fulfilment fantasy of its protagonist for Fleming and countless male fans since.

However, it does verge into SF territory in its technothriller edges – perhaps most notably in the Bond space adventures of You Only Live Twice and Moonraker

 

COMEDY

 

Do I need to mention those Bond one-liners again? Although the James Bond film franchise has always walked the line between its more serious dramatic elements and tendencies to camp humor bordering on self-parody – falling over that line in the later Moore and later Brosnan films.

 

RATING: 4 STARS****

A-TIER (TOP TIER)

 

Bruce Lee in his iconic pose from Enter the Dragon

 

(5) BRUCE LEE –

ENTER THE DRAGON (1973)

 

“Don’t think. Feel.”

The iconic martial arts action film by the iconic martial arts action film star.

And yes – the film may be somewhat cheesy at points, albeit not more so than other films in the 70s and which may also owe something to how much this film has blurred together with its superb parody A Fistful of Yen in the 1977 comedy sketch film Kentucky Fried Movie deep within my psyche. (The other thing deeply embedded in my psyche from that film is the sketch Catholic High School Girls in Trouble – “never has the beauty of the sexual act been so crassly exploited”).

But it is glorious, showcasing Bruce Lee – “the quintessential martial arts film star, particularly for action films set in contemporary times, a breakthrough star for Asian actors in Hollywood and widely considered one of the most influential martial artists of the 20th century”.

So deeply has it embedded itself in my psyche that it has fostered a love of martial arts action films ever since – which I then consciously or subconsciously compare to Enter the Dragon. And for that matter a love of martial arts film stars ever since, particularly east Asian martial arts film stars. Indeed, this entry is intended to be representative of martial arts action films (and film stars) in general.

As per TV Tropes, it is the martial arts action trope codifier – “since this movie, almost every other work of martial arts tournament fiction has borrowed from Enter The Dragon, particularly its usage of the main hero seeking revenge against the Big Bad in a fighting tournament in a faraway exotic location full of colorful villains and other supporting heroes with their own personal motives for entering”.

Of course, the whole concept of the martial arts tournament doesn’t hold up too well as a vanity project by a criminal organization – given the potential for exposing and jeopardizing the organization, at least to the very infiltration that is the plot of the film.

Nor for that matter does a criminal organization relying on training masses of minions in martial arts – another visually iconic element of martial arts films, moving and shouting in unison – instead of, you know, guns.

Finally, I have to give a chef’s kiss to yet another iconic element of martial arts films codified – the climactic showdown between protagonist and antagonist, strikingly displayed here in a mirrored maze.

 

FANTASY & SF

Not really here, but there’s always been a fine line between martial arts action films and fantasy in the mystical skill (or visions) of combatants – something which things like wuxia films and animated or anime series cross over. Not to mention the space Shaolin monks of Star Wars…

 

COMEDY

It has its comedic elements, albeit not as prominent as other martial arts action films – notably those of Jackie Chan (who had a minor role in Enter the Dragon). It certainly has its comedic elements after you’ve seen A Fistful of Yen – such that you’ll never watch it in quite the same straight-faced fashion again – and it has been repeatedly parodied elsewhere.

 

RATING: 4 STARS****

A-TIER (TOP TIER)

 

Perhaps the most iconic image of Clint Eastwood as Dirty Harry

 

(4) CLINT EASTWOOD –

THE MAN WITH NO NAME & DIRTY HARRY (1961-1966 & 1971-1988)

 

Ask yourself a question: “do I feel lucky?” Well, do you, punk?

You had me at Clint Eastwood.

No, seriously – I could just stop there, with one of the foremost icons of screen masculinity.

As per TV Tropes in rating him the trope Rated M for Manly – “The 6’4, gravel-voiced, ultra-macho action star Clint Eastwood is one of the most enduring cultural icons of masculinity in the history of American cinema and beyond.”

Although my quip for his vocal delivery is one of whispered menace. The above description also omits his signature steely gaze or glare – the latter lending itself to TV Tropes coining the trope Clint squint. Not to mention a certain wiry quality to him, even grizzled, if not both.

However, it doesn’t stop there. There are his two most iconic characters, who also happen to be two of the most iconic characters in cinema – the Man with No Name from the so-called Dollars Trilogy or even The Man with No Name Trilogy, most famously the third film of the trilogy, and Dirty Harry.

Again as per TV Tropes, Eastwood is “most famous for portraying tough-as-nails gunslingers who speak very little, and make each word (and bullet) count. The two most famous roles of this kind are Dirty Harry, and the Man With No Name in Sergio Leone’s Dollar’s Trilogy.”

The Man with No Name came first – in the cinematic trilogy of Westerns directed by Sergio Leone, labelled as the subgenre of Spaghetti Westerns because they were produced by Italian film studios and Italian directors in the case of Leone. The trilogy itself consists of A Fistful of Dollars, For a Few Dollars More, and the best (as well as most famous) of them, The Good, the Bad and the Ugly.

Of course, the Man with No Name has a name in each film – Joe, Manco, and Blondie respectively – but they are nicknames given him by other characters. There is only a loose continuity, if any, between each film, such that it’s not clear that he’s even the same character. I prefer to think of each film as more within a mythology than a continuity – and the Man with No Name a different incarnation of a mythic character in each film.

And that mythic character – the lone gunman, with “his aloof nature, questionable motives, and his mysterious past”, not to mention his laconic persona.

“There are two kinds of people in this world – those with loaded guns and those who dig. You dig”.

Personally, I’d say that Eastwood played the type in almost all his Western roles – he was the Man with No Name even when his character was named, from Pale Rider through to Unforgiven. And I am here for each and every one of them.

But I am here for his Dirty Harry over and above his Man with No Name. In part, that is due to the eclipse of the Western as a film genre, although I would argue that most films are essentially Westerns in all but setting, as reflected by the Dirty Harry films themselves with its anti-hero gunslinger protagonist transferred from the Wild West to the urban landscape (which, being San Francisco is still in the geographic American West).

Or as TV Tropes labels the character type, the Cowboy Cop – “a blunt, cynical, “the buck stops here” kind of law enforcer who’s constantly at odds with his indifferent, incompetent, strictly-by-the-book superiors”.

And, I would argue, an instinct for justice as an essential character type – and one that is often at odds with (and usually played as superior to) the letter of the law.

Not to mention his most iconic character trait – well, apart from his Smith & Wesson Model 29 .44 magnum revolver (“We’re not just going to let you walk out of here.” “Who’s we, sucker?” “Smith, Wesson and me”) – his one-liners, “(like the Pre Ass Kicking One-Liner, Pre-Mortem One-Liner, or just the generic “I’m so badass”-One-Liner).” They’re so good I’m fond of adapting them to my work.

Hence TV Tropes attributes to Eastwood that “his Influence on the movie industry was such that without him (or his Dirty Harry library, to be more specific) the ‘80s would have seen about a mere fourth of the action movies it actually did see.”

Some of you may also recognize the “thematically similar'” influence of Eastwood in general and Dirty Harry in particular on someone who just happens to be my favorite comics character and protagonist of my favorite comic – Judge Dredd. Judge Dredd is essentially a futuristic Dirty Harry in a dystopian SF satire. The character was also directly modelled on Eastwood – something to which we see paid tribute in the name of Judge Dredd’s block from Eastwood’s character in the Western TV series, Rawhide – Rowdy Yates.

Which makes Dredd one of two characters from the 2000AD anthology comic modelled on Eastwood and his two iconic characters – with Strontium Dog’s Johnny Alpha as the Man with No Name to Dredd’s Dirty Harry.

So yes – if I had to choose, I would pick Dirty Harry over The Man with No Name. And if I had to choose which Dirty Harry, well the first one with that title obviously – not just for the title but also for the most compelling presentation of Dirty Harry having to break the rules to apprehend the antagonist serial killer Scorpio.

 

FANTASY & SF

Yeah – The Man with No Name and Dirty Harry are pretty solidly grounded outside fantasy or SF, although some of his Western incarnations of the type border on fantasy, particularly Pale Rider with its revenant protagonist.

 

COMEDY

Well there’s those one-liners, although I wouldn’t really describe them or the films as comedic, even if they have their dry and wry moments of black humor.

 

RATING: 4 STARS****

A-TIER (TOP TIER)

 

Uma Thurman as the Bride in her most iconic appearance in Kill Bill – that yellow tracksuit (as well as motorcycle and helmet) a homage to that worn by Bruce Lee in his 1972 film Game of Death

 

(3) QUENTIN TARANTINO –

KILL BILL (2003-2004)

 

“When I woke up, I went on what the movie advertisements referred to as a roaring rampage of revenge. I roared. I rampaged. And I got bloody satisfaction. I’ve killed a hell of a lot of people to get to this point, but I have only one more. The last one. The one I’m driving to right now. The only one left. And when I arrive at my destination… I am gonna KILL BILL”.

Quentin Tarantino – “his films are characterized by elements including recurring actors, non-linear storylines, stylized violence, black comedy, witty dialogue oft laced with pop culture references, trunk shots, close-ups on feet, especially women’s bare feet (don’t ask), and a volume of homages and shout-outs to other movies only attainable with an absurdly encyclopedic knowledge of film history”.

In fairness to the foot fetish thing, who wouldn’t cast themselves to drink off Salma Hayek’s feet?

Also a director whom I have to love for his dedication to a top ten in his own films, having famously declared his intention to retire after ten films, although we’re still awaiting that tenth film as of 2024.

As for which Tarantino film to choose for this entry, it was a close call – particularly with the film that brought him widespread acclaim, Pulp Fiction – but as my featured quote indicates, I have to go with Kill Bill.

“Kill Bill is the fourth (and fifth) film written and directed by Quentin Tarantino, taking all his favorite things at that point in his career – westerns, samurai movies, martial arts, pop-culture references, actions girls, and bare feet – and combining them into one hell of a revenge drama”.

Or as the female protagonist best known simply as the Bride (or Black Mamba as a former member of the Deadly Viper Assassination Squad) – although her name Beatrix Kiddo is dropped in the second film – played by Uma Thurman puts it in my featured quote, a roaring rampage of revenge. Indeed, one of the finest roaring rampages of revenge – and certainly top of my top ten roaring rampages of revenge.

Also it has one of my all-time favorite lines of cinema (note to self – compile a top ten lines of cinema) from legendary sword-maker Hattori Hanzo, played by Sonny Chiba, referring to the blade he made for the Bride – “If on your journey you should encounter God, God will be cut”.

(And how! From what we see her do with it, I’d say he was right about that).

It consists of two films although I tend to follow Tarantino in his own classification of it as one film, given that it was conceived by him as such although the studio split it in two for length. Although if I had to choose between them, I’d have to go with the first film or Volume 1 for the sheer glorious frenzied action of the Bride’s fight with O-Ren Ishii and the Crazy 88 Gang. (Although you’d think that at some point, maybe just one of those Yakuza gangsters would, you know, pull a gun on the Bride).

And of course Gogo Yubari, etched deep in my psyche ever since with her portrayal by Japanese actress Chiaki Kuriyama – who also starred in cult classic Battle Royale, one of Tarantino’s favorite films.

 

FANTASY & SF

Interestingly, Tarantino has said that his films fall into one of two cinematic universes – “one being the more realistically grounded of them…and the other being a meta-fictional narrative which Tarantino says represents the kind of films the characters in his main cinematic universe would watch”, arguably with more fantastic or at least cinematic rule of cool elements. Kill Bill falls in the latter.

 

COMEDY

That signature Tarantino black comedy.

 

RATING: 5 STARS*****

S-TIER (GOD TIER)

 

“Yeah well, you know, that’s just like, uh, your opinion, man”

 

(2) COEN BROS –

THE BIG LEBOWSKI (1998)

 

The Dude abides.

Indeed, he abides in second place.  The Coen brothers – Joel and Ethan Coen – also abide as my favorite directors of film (albeit obviously not of my favorite film in top spot).

And yes – they have enough of a filmography for their own top ten films, but one that is impossible to categorize by genre or style apart from a blackly comedic and idiosyncratic quirky flair. “Their films span many genres and styles, which they frequently subvert or parody”.

While I enjoy all their films I’ve seen – even the weirder ones like Barton Fink and weaker ones like The Ladykillers – the holy trinity of their filmography for me would be The Big Lebowksi, O Brother Where Art Thou, and Intolerable Cruelty (although Fargo – film and television series – comes close).

And of these, the greatest is The Big Lebowksi – which despite a mixed reception and box office return at the time of its release – rose to cult classic status.

As TV Tropes describes, “it’s a bit hard to describe but let’s just call it a film noir parody”, albeit an affectionate one – particularly of Raymond Chandleresque noir detective stories set in L.A., with the title itself a nod to The Big Sleep.

Except of course for its Philip Marlowe protagonist, it’s slacker Jeff Lebowski – although he prefers to go by the Dude – played to perfection by Jeff Bridges. He’s not the titular Big Lebowksi however – and it’s the mix-up in identity between them that effectively gets the ball rolling on the plot. Well – that and also the Dude’s rug really tied the room together.

Again as per TV Tropes, “this being a Coen Brothers movie, though, the plot isn’t important. The driving force within the movie is the collection of various, bizarre, main and secondary (and tertiary!) characters, almost all of whom seem to come from completely different movies.”

Not least the film’s cowboy narrator, styled as The Stranger, played by Sam Elliott – giving us my featured quote, although the Dude himself takes a shine to it.

Oh – and of course, the Jesus.

But yeah well, you know, that’s just like, uh, your opinion, man.

 

FANTASY & SF

The filmography of the Coen brothers definitely dips into the fantasy genre with some of their more fantastic elements, although not enough that any of their films would be described as fantasy – particularly as those fantastic elements are more in the nature of dreams or trips, as in The Big Lebowksi

 

COMEDY

The kings of black comedy, dryly delivered.

The Big Lebowksi in particular could be outright classified as comedy.

 

RATING: 5 STARS*****

S-TIER (GOD TIER)

 

One of the most iconic scenes in the film – and in film

 

(1) APOCALYPSE NOW (1979)

 

“I love the smell of napalm in the morning…smells like victory.”

Yeah – this is the big one, the cinematic equivalent of Catch-22, lodged next to it deep within my psyche ever since seeing it (by happenstance at about the same time as reading Catch-22).

And not coincidentally, like Catch-22 also set in a war, except of course in the Vietnam war as opposed to the former’s Second World War, and similarly using the war as a backdrop for a story beyond the war itself – a satire of modern society in Catch-22 and an exploration of the human psyche on the edges of madness and beyond in Apocalypse Now.

While it is usually (and accurately) considered a war film, it is a psychological war film which could well have been set elsewhere – and indeed originally was, given that it is a very loose adaptation of Joseph Conrad’s novella Heart of Darkness from nineteenth century Africa to the Vietnam War. One might well quip that it was also a loose adaptation of the Vietnam War itself (to the American or human psyche).

Hence some of those who watch it expecting a more straightforward war or action film might be disappointed, particularly with its pacing – although I was entranced by it throughout when I first watched it, even in my adolescent days. Don’t get me wrong – it absolutely does have action scenes, indeed some of the most visually striking and iconic action scenes, hence my entrancement, but not quite in the pace or style of a contemporary action film blockbuster.

As per TV Tropes – “packed to the gills with now-iconic scenes and quotes, it is a common choice for not only the definitive anti-war movie but the definitive cinematic depiction of war not as battle, or even as purgatory but as an illogical fever dream”.

Illogical fever dream is overstating it – it has a coherent plot – but things definitely get wilder and trippier the further the protagonist and his squad go.

As for that protagonist and squad – again as per TV Tropes, “”special operations Captain Benjamin Willard (Martin Sheen) is sent to kill Walter E Kurtz (Marlon Brando), a Green Beret colonel who has gone mad and formed a personality cult in Cambodia”…Willard and his crew including George “Chief” Phillips (Albert Hall), Jay “Chef” Hicks (Frederic Forrest), Lance Johnson (Sam Bottoms) and Tryone “Mr Clean” Miller (a 14-year-old Laurence Fishburne) — go up a river and into the recesses of humanity.”

Directed by Francis Ford Coppola at the height of his career, it’s a miracle the film was even made, let alone be this good, given a trouble production that’s almost as legendarily epic as the film itself. On that point – and perhaps not surprisingly given that production history – the original cinematic edit is definitely the best. While the ‘redux’ director’s cut has points of interest, Coppola definitely got it right for its original cinematic release.

I’ll conclude with Roger Ebert’s thoughts when adding it to his list of great movies – ” “What’s great in the film, and what will make it live for many years and speak to many audiences, is what Coppola achieves on the levels Truffaut was discussing: the moments of agony and joy in making cinema. Some of those moments occur at the same time; remember again the helicopter assault and its unsettling juxtaposition of horror and exhilaration. Remember the weird beauty of the massed helicopters lifting above the trees in the long shot, and the insane power of Wagner’s music, played loudly during the attack, and you feel what Coppola was getting at: Those moments as common in life as art, when the whole huge grand mystery of the world, so terrible, so beautiful, seems to hang in the balance,,,Apocalypse Now is the best Vietnam film, one of the greatest of all films, because it pushes beyond the others, into the dark places of the soul. It is not about war so much as about how war reveals truths we would be happy never to discover.”

 

FANTASY & SF

It’s trippier moments border on some dark fantasy but no – it remains grounded in the mundane reality of our world. Or at least as mundane as the Vietnam War got.

Although it is tempting to conflate, as Kim Newman did in a short story, Coppola’s Apocalypse Now and Coppola’s Dracula film – with Harker as Willard and his crew of vampire hunters on a gunboat upriver into Transylvania…

 

COMEDY

It has its comedic elements – some of the blackest and driest in film perhaps but they are there, at least according to my sense of humor. Definitely not a comedy though.

 

RATING: 5 STARS*****

S-TIER (GOD TIER)

 

 

FILM: TOP 10 (TIER LIST)

 

S-TIER (GOD-TIER)

 

(1) APOCALYPSE NOW (1979)

(2) COEN BROS – THE BIG LEBOWSKI (1998)

(3) QUENTIN TARANTINO – KILL BILL (2003-2004)

Like Tarantino, I regard the two volumes as one film but if I have to choose – Vol1.

 

If Apocalypse Now is my Old Testament of film, The Big Lebowski and Kill Bill is my New Testament.

 

A-TIER (TOP TIER)

 

(4) CLINT EASTWOOD – THE MAN WITH NO NAME & DIRTY HARRY (1961-1966 & 1971-1988)

His two iconic roles – if I have to choose between them, I’ll go with Dirty Harry (and the first film). After all, he’s the model for Judge Dredd.

(5) BRUCE LEE – ENTER THE DRAGON (1973)

(6) JAMES BOND (1962-PRESENT)

As for which film – Goldfinger as the film that defines the franchise.

(7) JOHN WICK (2014-present)

Yes – all four films (and counting). As for which is the best among them, the fourth film comes close but the first film remains the definitive film for me.

 

B-TIER (HIGH TIER)

 

(8) GARETH EVANS – THE RAID (2011-2014)

Obviously the first film is the best but I like both.

(9) ROBERT EGGERS – THE NORTHMAN (2022)

 

X-TIER (WILD TIER) – AS BEST NON-GENRE FILM OF 2024

 

(10) THE FALL GUY (2024)

 

Top Tens – Film: Top 10 Films (1) Francis Ford Coppola – Apocalypse Now

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One of the most iconic scenes in the film – and in film

 

(1) FRANCIS FORD COPPOLA –

APOCALYPSE NOW (1979)

 

“I love the smell of napalm in the morning…smells like victory.”

Yeah – this is the big one, the cinematic equivalent of Catch-22, lodged next to it deep within my psyche ever since seeing it (by happenstance at about the same time as reading Catch-22).

And not coincidentally, like Catch-22 also set in a war, except of course in the Vietnam war as opposed to the former’s Second World War, and similarly using the war as a backdrop for a story beyond the war itself – a satire of modern society in Catch-22 and an exploration of the human psyche on the edges of madness and beyond in Apocalypse Now.

While it is usually (and accurately) considered a war film, it is a psychological war film which could well have been set elsewhere – and indeed originally was, given that it is a very loose adaptation of Joseph Conrad’s novella Heart of Darkness from nineteenth century Africa to the Vietnam War. One might well quip that it was also a loose adaptation of the Vietnam War itself (to the American or human psyche).

Hence some of those who watch it expecting a more straightforward war or action film might be disappointed, particularly with its pacing – although I was entranced by it throughout when I first watched it, even in my adolescent days. Don’t get me wrong – it absolutely does have action scenes, indeed some of the most visually striking and iconic action scenes, hence my entrancement, but not quite in the pace or style of a contemporary action film blockbuster.

As per TV Tropes – “packed to the gills with now-iconic scenes and quotes, it is a common choice for not only the definitive anti-war movie but the definitive cinematic depiction of war not as battle, or even as purgatory but as an illogical fever dream”.

Illogical fever dream is overstating it – it has a coherent plot – but things definitely get wilder and trippier the further the protagonist and his squad go.

As for that protagonist and squad – again as per TV Tropes, “”special operations Captain Benjamin Willard (Martin Sheen) is sent to kill Walter E Kurtz (Marlon Brando), a Green Beret colonel who has gone mad and formed a personality cult in Cambodia”…Willard and his crew including George “Chief” Phillips (Albert Hall), Jay “Chef” Hicks (Frederic Forrest), Lance Johnson (Sam Bottoms) and Tryone “Mr Clean” Miller (a 14-year-old Laurence Fishburne) — go up a river and into the recesses of humanity.”

Directed by Francis Ford Coppola at the height of his career, it’s a miracle the film was even made, let alone be this good, given a trouble production that’s almost as legendarily epic as the film itself. On that point – and perhaps not surprisingly given that production history – the original cinematic edit is definitely the best. While the ‘redux’ director’s cut has points of interest, Coppola definitely got it right for its original cinematic release.

I’ll conclude with Roger Ebert’s thoughts when adding it to his list of great movies – ” “What’s great in the film, and what will make it live for many years and speak to many audiences, is what Coppola achieves on the levels Truffaut was discussing: the moments of agony and joy in making cinema. Some of those moments occur at the same time; remember again the helicopter assault and its unsettling juxtaposition of horror and exhilaration. Remember the weird beauty of the massed helicopters lifting above the trees in the long shot, and the insane power of Wagner’s music, played loudly during the attack, and you feel what Coppola was getting at: Those moments as common in life as art, when the whole huge grand mystery of the world, so terrible, so beautiful, seems to hang in the balance,,,Apocalypse Now is the best Vietnam film, one of the greatest of all films, because it pushes beyond the others, into the dark places of the soul. It is not about war so much as about how war reveals truths we would be happy never to discover.”

 

FANTASY & SF

It’s trippier moments border on some dark fantasy but no – it remains grounded in the mundane reality of our world. Or at least as mundane as the Vietnam War got.

Although it is tempting to conflate, as Kim Newman did in a short story, Coppola’s Apocalypse Now and Coppola’s Dracula film – with Harker as Willard and his crew of vampire hunters on a gunboat upriver into Transylvania…

 

COMEDY

It has its comedic elements – some of the blackest and driest in film perhaps but they are there, at least according to my sense of humor. Definitely not a comedy though.

 

RATING: 5 STARS*****

S-TIER (GOD TIER)

 

Top Tens – Film: Top 10 Films (2) Coen Brothers – The Big Lebowski

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“Yeah well, you know, that’s just like, uh, your opinion, man”

 

(2) COEN BROS –

THE BIG LEBOWSKI (1998)

 

The Dude abides.

Indeed, he abides in second place.  The Coen brothers – Joel and Ethan Coen – also abide as my favorite directors of film (albeit obviously not of my favorite film in top spot).

And yes – they have enough of a filmography for their own top ten films, but one that is impossible to categorize by genre or style apart from a blackly comedic and idiosyncratic quirky flair. “Their films span many genres and styles, which they frequently subvert or parody”.

While I enjoy all their films I’ve seen – even the weirder ones like Barton Fink and weaker ones like The Ladykillers – the holy trinity of their filmography for me would be The Big Lebowksi, O Brother Where Art Thou, and Intolerable Cruelty (although Fargo – film and television series – comes close).

And of these, the greatest is The Big Lebowksi – which despite a mixed reception and box office return at the time of its release – rose to cult classic status.

As TV Tropes describes, “it’s a bit hard to describe but let’s just call it a film noir parody”, albeit an affectionate one – particularly of Raymond Chandleresque noir detective stories set in L.A., with the title itself a nod to The Big Sleep.

Except of course for its Philip Marlowe protagonist, it’s slacker Jeff Lebowski – although he prefers to go by the Dude – played to perfection by Jeff Bridges. He’s not the titular Big Lebowksi however – and it’s the mix-up in identity between them that effectively gets the ball rolling on the plot. Well – that and also the Dude’s rug really tied the room together.

Again as per TV Tropes, “this being a Coen Brothers movie, though, the plot isn’t important. The driving force within the movie is the collection of various, bizarre, main and secondary (and tertiary!) characters, almost all of whom seem to come from completely different movies.”

Not least the film’s cowboy narrator, styled as The Stranger, played by Sam Elliott – giving us my featured quote, although the Dude himself takes a shine to it.

Oh – and of course, the Jesus.

But yeah well, you know, that’s just like, uh, your opinion, man.

 

FANTASY & SF

The filmography of the Coen brothers definitely dips into the fantasy genre with some of their more fantastic elements, although not enough that any of their films would be described as fantasy – particularly as those fantastic elements are more in the nature of dreams or trips, as in The Big Lebowksi

 

COMEDY

The kings of black comedy, dryly delivered.

The Big Lebowksi in particular could be outright classified as comedy.

 

RATING: 5 STARS*****

S-TIER (GOD TIER)

Top Tens – Film: Top 10 Films (3) Quentin Tarantino – Kill Bill

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Uma Thurman as the Bride in her most iconic appearance in Kill Bill – that yellow tracksuit (as well as motorcycle and helmet) a homage to that worn by Bruce Lee in his 1972 film Game of Death

 

(3) QUENTIN TARANTINO –

KILL BILL (2003-2004)

 

“When I woke up, I went on what the movie advertisements referred to as a roaring rampage of revenge. I roared. I rampaged. And I got bloody satisfaction. I’ve killed a hell of a lot of people to get to this point, but I have only one more. The last one. The one I’m driving to right now. The only one left. And when I arrive at my destination… I am gonna KILL BILL”.

Quentin Tarantino – “his films are characterized by elements including recurring actors, non-linear storylines, stylized violence, black comedy, witty dialogue oft laced with pop culture references, trunk shots, close-ups on feet, especially women’s bare feet (don’t ask), and a volume of homages and shout-outs to other movies only attainable with an absurdly encyclopedic knowledge of film history”.

In fairness to the foot fetish thing, who wouldn’t cast themselves to drink off Salma Hayek’s feet?

Also a director whom I have to love for his dedication to a top ten in his own films, having famously declared his intention to retire after ten films, although we’re still awaiting that tenth film as of 2024.

As for which Tarantino film to choose for this entry, it was a close call – particularly with the film that brought him widespread acclaim, Pulp Fiction – but as my featured quote indicates, I have to go with Kill Bill.

“Kill Bill is the fourth (and fifth) film written and directed by Quentin Tarantino, taking all his favorite things at that point in his career – westerns, samurai movies, martial arts, pop-culture references, actions girls, and bare feet – and combining them into one hell of a revenge drama”.

Or as the female protagonist best known simply as the Bride (or Black Mamba as a former member of the Deadly Viper Assassination Squad) – although her name Beatrix Kiddo is dropped in the second film – played by Uma Thurman puts it in my featured quote, a roaring rampage of revenge. Indeed, one of the finest roaring rampages of revenge – and certainly top of my top ten roaring rampages of revenge.

Also it has one of my all-time favorite lines of cinema (note to self – compile a top ten lines of cinema) from legendary sword-maker Hattori Hanzo, played by Sonny Chiba, referring to the blade he made for the Bride – “If on your journey you should encounter God, God will be cut”.

(And how! From what we see her do with it, I’d say he was right about that).

It consists of two films although I tend to follow Tarantino in his own classification of it as one film, given that it was conceived by him as such although the studio split it in two for length. Although if I had to choose between them, I’d have to go with the first film or Volume 1 for the sheer glorious frenzied action of the Bride’s fight with O-Ren Ishii and the Crazy 88 Gang. (Although you’d think that at some point, maybe just one of those Yakuza gangsters would, you know, pull a gun on the Bride).

And of course Gogo Yubari, etched deep in my psyche ever since with her portrayal by Japanese actress Chiaki Kuriyama – who also starred in cult classic Battle Royale, one of Tarantino’s favorite films.

 

FANTASY & SF

Interestingly, Tarantino has said that his films fall into one of two cinematic universes – “one being the more realistically grounded of them…and the other being a meta-fictional narrative which Tarantino says represents the kind of films the characters in his main cinematic universe would watch”, arguably with more fantastic or at least cinematic rule of cool elements. Kill Bill falls in the latter.

 

COMEDY

That signature Tarantino black comedy.

 

RATING: 5 STARS*****

S-TIER (GOD TIER)

Top Tens – Film: Top 10 Films (4) Clint Eastwood – The Man with No Name & Dirty Harry

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Perhaps the most iconic image of Clint Eastwood as Dirty Harry

 

(4) CLINT EASTWOOD –

THE MAN WITH NO NAME & DIRTY HARRY

 

Ask yourself a question: “do I feel lucky?” Well, do you, punk?

You had me at Clint Eastwood.

No, seriously – I could just stop there, with one of the foremost icons of screen masculinity.

As per TV Tropes in rating him the trope Rated M for Manly – “The 6’4, gravel-voiced, ultra-macho action star Clint Eastwood is one of the most enduring cultural icons of masculinity in the history of American cinema and beyond.”

Although my quip for his vocal delivery is one of whispered menace. The above description also omits his signature steely gaze or glare – the latter lending itself to TV Tropes coining the trope Clint squint. Not to mention a certain wiry quality to him, even grizzled, if not both.

However, it doesn’t stop there. There are his two most iconic characters, who also happen to be two of the most iconic characters in cinema – the Man with No Name from the so-called Dollars Trilogy or even The Man with No Name Trilogy, most famously the third film of the trilogy, and Dirty Harry.

Again as per TV Tropes, Eastwood is “most famous for portraying tough-as-nails gunslingers who speak very little, and make each word (and bullet) count. The two most famous roles of this kind are Dirty Harry, and the Man With No Name in Sergio Leone’s Dollar’s Trilogy.”

The Man with No Name came first – in the cinematic trilogy of Westerns directed by Sergio Leone, labelled as the subgenre of Spaghetti Westerns because they were produced by Italian film studios and Italian directors in the case of Leone. The trilogy itself consists of A Fistful of Dollars, For a Few Dollars More, and the best (as well as most famous) of them, The Good, the Bad and the Ugly.

Of course, the Man with No Name has a name in each film – Joe, Manco, and Blondie respectively – but they are nicknames given him by other characters. There is only a loose continuity, if any, between each film, such that it’s not clear that he’s even the same character. I prefer to think of each film as more within a mythology than a continuity – and the Man with No Name a different incarnation of a mythic character in each film.

And that mythic character – the lone gunman, with “his aloof nature, questionable motives, and his mysterious past”, not to mention his laconic persona.

“There are two kinds of people in this world – those with loaded guns and those who dig. You dig”.

Personally, I’d say that Eastwood played the type in almost all his Western roles – he was the Man with No Name even when his character was named, from Pale Rider through to Unforgiven. And I am here for each and every one of them.

But I am here for his Dirty Harry over and above his Man with No Name. In part, that is due to the eclipse of the Western as a film genre, although I would argue that most films are essentially Westerns in all but setting, as reflected by the Dirty Harry films themselves with its anti-hero gunslinger protagonist transferred from the Wild West to the urban landscape (which, being San Francisco is still in the geographic American West).

Or as TV Tropes labels the character type, the Cowboy Cop – “a blunt, cynical, “the buck stops here” kind of law enforcer who’s constantly at odds with his indifferent, incompetent, strictly-by-the-book superiors”.

And, I would argue, an instinct for justice as an essential character type – and one that is often at odds with (and usually played as superior to) the letter of the law.

Not to mention his most iconic character trait – well, apart from his Smith & Wesson Model 29 .44 magnum revolver (“We’re not just going to let you walk out of here.” “Who’s we, sucker?” “Smith, Wesson and me”) – his one-liners, “(like the Pre Ass Kicking One-Liner, Pre-Mortem One-Liner, or just the generic “I’m so badass”-One-Liner).” They’re so good I’m fond of adapting them to my work.

Hence TV Tropes attributes to Eastwood that “his Influence on the movie industry was such that without him (or his Dirty Harry library, to be more specific) the ‘80s would have seen about a mere fourth of the action movies it actually did see.”

Some of you may also recognize the “thematically similar'” influence of Eastwood in general and Dirty Harry in particular on someone who just happens to be my favorite comics character and protagonist of my favorite comic – Judge Dredd. Judge Dredd is essentially a futuristic Dirty Harry in a dystopian SF satire. The character was also directly modelled on Eastwood – something to which we see paid tribute in the name of Judge Dredd’s block from Eastwood’s character in the Western TV series, Rawhide – Rowdy Yates.

Which makes Dredd one of two characters from the 2000AD anthology comic modelled on Eastwood and his two iconic characters – with Strontium Dog’s Johnny Alpha as the Man with No Name to Dredd’s Dirty Harry.

So yes – if I had to choose, I would pick Dirty Harry over The Man with No Name. And if I had to choose which Dirty Harry, well the first one with that title obviously – not just for the title but also for the most compelling presentation of Dirty Harry having to break the rules to apprehend the antagonist serial killer Scorpio.

 

FANTASY & SF

Yeah – The Man with No Name and Dirty Harry are pretty solidly grounded outside fantasy or SF, although some of his Western incarnations of the type border on fantasy, particularly Pale Rider with its revenant protagonist.

 

COMEDY

Well there’s those one-liners, although I wouldn’t really describe them or the films as comedic, even if they have their dry and wry moments of black humor.

 

RATING: 4 STARS****

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Mega-City Law – Top 10 Judge Dredd Epics & Episodes: Arcs

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Counting down my Top 10 Judge Dredd epics and episodes – essentially as a running list updated as I finish each volume of the collected Judge Dredd Complete Case Files in my ongoing Mega-City Law reviews (presently up to Case Files 18).

I distinguish between epics and episodes – with epics as longer storylines over a five or more episodes. However, that still leaves a distinction for me with respect to episodes – episodes that encapsulate their storylines within the single episode as opposed to those that have a longer story arc over 2-4 episodes (with four episodes being perhaps the most common standard for such arcs).

That is because there seems to be a distinction between the art of telling a story within a few episodes and telling it in only one – a mere six pages or so at that! I tend to admire the art involved in the latter more – but some of the stories in the Judge Dredd comic I have enjoyed the most or which had the most impact on me are those stories of potentially epic proportions yet encapsulated in only a few episodes. In short – literally (heh) – behold the arcs of Judge Dredd! These are my top ten arcs  or storylines of 2-4 episodes.

 

 

(10) INNOCENTS ABROAD

(CASE FILES 18: progs 804-807 – 4 episodes))

 

“Go to Mega-City One…bring back them O’Dilligan brother hallions”

 

That pretty much sums up the post-heist shenanigans of Innocents Abroad. That and “a couple of Emerald Isle scumbags are on the run in the Big Meg”.

 

Essentially the reverse of the Emerald Isle arc, except now Judge Dredd escorting Irish Judge Joyce around Mega-City One to retrieve two Irish perps – the Sons of Erin they ain’t.

 

It’s a good romp – a bit of a Lock, Stock & Two Smoking Barrels vibe to it before that film’s time – essentially involving three Emerald Isle elements on collision course.

 

The first of those elements is Judge Joyce, assigned the mission because of his previous involvement with Dredd back in the Emerald Isle arc in Case Files 15. Sadly, Joyce is not having the luck of the Irish – the running gag of this arc with Joyce as butt of the joke, and after all that work writer Garth Ennis put into boosting up Joyce, his own creation hailing from his homeland, into something more than a joke character in Judgement Day…only to return to Joyce as the butt of the gag here.

 

The second of the elements is Mickah O’Dilligan, Emerald Isle boyo made good in the Big Meg. If by good you mean running an Irish club as cover for his “shady little racket” – and looking down the barrel of McSod’s Syndrome, one to add to the list of diseases you do NOT want to get in MC-1. The good news – it can be completely cured. The bad news – that cure is literally gold.

 

Enter the luck of the Irish with the third element – his prodigal brothers Paddy and Francie O’Dilligan on the lam from the Emerald Isle who just happened to rob a bank of the gold their brother Mickah needs right now, if only they can avoid the heat to retrieve it from its hiding place…

 

RATING: 4 STARS****

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(9) BILL BAILEY, WON’T YOU PLEASE COME HOME

(CASE FILES 15: progs 723-726 – 4 episodes)

 

It’s a pity these guys didn’t pop up during Necropolis when they could have been genuine heroes.

One of my favorite storylines over four episodes – I guess I just have a soft spot for lost legions. In this case the lost legion is a Citi-Def unit that literally went underground during the Apocalypse War when their block, Bill Bailey presumably named for the British comedian, was destroyed – and comes out swinging against the Sovs nine years later or so. Except of course there are no Sovs, as Mega-City One won the Apocalypse War, so they’re just committing random acts of terrorism against their own city.

As I said, it’s a pity these guys didn’t pop up just a little earlier during Necropolis – when they could have been genuine resistance against the Dark Judges. They may have initially thought they were fighting the Sovs and their puppet Mega-City One Judges, but the latter was not too different from the Judges as puppets of the Dark Judges – and they would have soon adapted after realizing the situation, albeit they may have assumed the Dark Judges have simply taken over after the Sov victory.

Sadly, these guys are just too unlucky for that and the storyline does resemble a comedy of errors, with one bad luck pile-up after another to stop them realizing that Mega-City One is not Sov-occupied, or at least to avoid their last stand shootout with Mega-City One Judges, even with Judge Dredd doing his best to, well, bring Bill Bailey back home.

So a comedy of errors but also tragedy of errors, as the storyline has some surprisingly effective pathos. I dare anyone to remain unmoved as the unit defiantly sings their block anthem before going over the top – both in First World War parlance and the slang of extreme reaction – one last time to their doom.

 

RATING: 4 STARS****

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(8) BOB & CAROL & TED & RINGO

(CASE FILES 7: progs 346-349 – 4 episodes)

 

Judge Dredd does Jurassic Park: The Lost World!

Like that film, this time the dinosaurs are coming (from Sauron Valley in the Cursed Earth) to Mega-City One. They’re essentially part of a Jurassic Park-style circus, but of course the titular four carnivores escape (with the help of a strangely empathic caretaker robot) to wreak havoc in the city. And that’s the plot of this four episode mini-epic in a nutshell.

And we get it right from the opening panel, narrated as the Parade of the Century – “the day Irrawaddy Skinner led his monsters in from Sauron Valley”. Oh – how the Cursed Earth has fallen from the days of the Cursed Earth epic, where it was virtual suicide to cross it by land, let alone all the way to Sauron Valley and back again. Or to travel around it in some sort of dinosaur circus, as this episode implies Skinner does – and riding the tyrannosaur Bob, no less. Of course, that would make me feel safer, from everything else but the tyrannosaur itself. His control over it is explained by reference to a Skinner box, itself a play on controversial American psychologist B.F. Skinner and his conditioning chamber or Skinner Box. In this case, it’s some sort of electrical shock collar – which begs the question of how Skinner installed it on his dinosaurs and trained them using it. One suspects he must have got the dinosaurs as eggs or hatchlings.

The storyline then uses the plot device of Mega-City One wildlife expert, David Baloney – a play on British nature documentary television presenter David Bellamy – to explain the origin of the dinosaurs. And it’s essentially Jurassic Park (pre-dating it – where’s the check, Jurassic Park), except the dinosaur theme parks (plural!) were on the American mainland and the dinosaurs were set loose by the Atomic Wars. (One would have thought the Atomic Wars would rival the asteroid as an extinction event for them but now you know better).

The dinosaur exhibition is basically a big dinosaur zoo, with cages to match, and we’re introduced to our titular carnivorous dinosaurs through the labels on the cages – Bob the tyrannosaurus rex, Carol the tyrannosaurus rex, Ted the allosaurus and Ringo as the runt deinonychus of the litter.

Unfortunately, while the herbivorous dinosaurs are docile in captivity, the carnivorous dinosaurs just aren’t adapting themselves to captivity (which just raises even more questions about that Skinner box) and slowly killing themselves resisting it (injuring themselves against the bars and so on). Caretaker robot Granville takes pity on them for their plight, but his protests to Skinner falls on deaf ears – as Skinner callously tells Granville there’s more where they came from. Although the carnivores have adapted enough at least to sense that Granville is their friend when he tends to their self-inflicted wounds (it probably helps that he’s not made of tasty flesh), Anyway, it’s too much for Granville, who decides to help them to, well, run away FROM the circus…

Needless to say, it all goes horribly wrong.

 

RATING: 4 STARS****

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(7) PIRATES OF THE BLACK ATLANTIC

(CASE FILES 4: progs 198-201 – 4 episodes)

 

Judge Dredd does Pirates of the Caribbean! Literally, as in mutant submarine pirates (or are they?) operating out of an underwater sea fortress in the Caribbean. There’s even a version of the Kraken. Where’s the check, Disney?

Anyway, even as another ‘mini-epic’ entry, Pirates of the Black Atlantic had a significance extending beyond its four episode story arc and its mutant pirates to foreshadowing the escalation of conflict with Mega-City One’s most persistent adversaries, the Sov-Judges of East Mega-City One…

 

RATING: 4 STARS****

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(6) BLOOD OF SATANUS
(CASE FILES 3: progs 152-154 – 3 episodes)

These episodes feature a little spot of horror, a genre that recurs surprisingly often in Judge Dredd.

Satanus is back!

Well, not quite – just his blood. Remember Satanus, the tyrannosaur from the Cursed Earth when Judge Dredd did Jurassic Park? Quick recap – the Judge Dredd storyline did genetically recreated dinosaurs before Jurassic Park and they still roam the Cursed Earth. The biggest and baddest of them all was Satanus, the black tyrannosaur – who survived his encounter with Judge Dredd (after Judge Dredd survived his encounter with Satanus).

Satanus himself doesn’t return – he went on to haunt humanity’s galactic empire in the far future through time travel and alien warlocks in Nemesis – but his blood returns to haunt Judge Dredd in Mega-City One. Of course, his blood doesn’t have a mind of its own or cross the Cursed Earth to Mega-City One – a genetic research laboratory in Mega-City One has some of the original “plasma based secretion” taken from Satanus when he was still in Dinosaur National Park, from which potentially “a new tyrannosaur can be grown”. Fortunately, “the Judges have banned such experiments as being too dangerous”. Unfortunately, disgruntled laboratory assistant Cyril Ratfinkle sees the potential for his own dangerous experiment, posing the question what would happen if someone drank the tyrannosaur blood?

If you think probably nothing (other than perhaps some food poisoning or similar reaction), then clearly you are not familiar with science in comics. Of course, Satanus’ blood has mutagenic properties, capable of transforming people into tyrannosaur-like creatures, because Satanus just oozes evil tyrannosaur-ness. It’s the tyrannosaur version of the elixir in Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.

And so Ratfinkle does David in Prometheus before Prometheus, stealing the plasma so he can slip it into someone’s drink like David did with the black goo. He drills a hole in his floor to the apartment below him, which fortuitously lines up perfectly with the exact position and opportunity to drip plasma into the wine glass behind the back of his unfortunate neighbor Rex. (Get it – tyrannosaurus…Rex?)

The next day, Rex expresses his concern to his wife Lynsey about the new black scales on his stomach. Unfortunately, “some days later”, Rex also expresses his concern about his worsening rash when he bumps into Ratfinkle, who exploits the opportunity to lie that his laboratory is working on a cure for this new virus and offers Rex free medicine. No prizes for guessing what that medicine is…

Yes – it’s more of the blood. After several doses of the “medicine”, Rex is thickly scaled and develops a taste for raw meat, “red and dripping”, much to the alarm of his wife – and much to the delight of Ratfinkle observing through the spyhole above, that “on day twelve of the experiment…the metamorphosis of man into tyrannosaur is imminent”. Enough of his humanity remains for Rex to exhort Lynsey to leave the apartment – “Get out before it’s too late!” – when she discovers him building a nest of their furniture and chowing down on another neighbor’s pet.

Lynsey contacts Judge Dredd but unfortunately he’s busy dealing with a “crazy punk”. However, Dredd remains troubled by Lynsey’s message, but unfortunately she did not leave any address. Even more unfortunately, she has returned to her address, where the tyrannosaur-thing that was her husband waits hungrily – and strangely, still wearing shorts, like the Hulk, with the same artistic concern for modesty.

And so Rex spontaneously divorces Lynsey by devouring her, due to their irreconcilable differences that he is now homo tyrannosaurus – as Ratfinkle gloats through his spyhole at the success of his experiment, although he soon receives his poetic justice as just dessert for Rex as the latter sniffs him out.

Well, it wasn’t a total loss as Ratfinkle left the “tapes” of his experimental notes behind – allowing Dredd to identify that Mega-City One has a man-beast on the loose. Meanwhile, Rex has reverted to his human state, but Dredd apprehends him just as his attempted suicide causes him to transform into the tyrannosaur again – because the beast within won’t let him kill himself. The tyrannosaurus Rex (heh) attacks Dredd and things look grim as the beast is poised to devour Dredd (while choking him with its strangely prehensile tail). Fortunately of course, Dredd has been in a similar spot with the original Satanus, so escaping this beast’s grasp is easy in comparison. (He cuts the tail with his trusty boot knife). Dredd pursues the beast into the slum area of ‘Old New York’, where it reverts to Rex again – but Dredd lures out the beast once more by the scent of his own blood (by cutting his hand) and shoots it. As it dies, the beast reverts into Rex once more, thanking Dredd for restoring his humanity – “You may have taken my life – but you have saved my soul!”

And Dredd’s dry reply – “Just routine, citizen”.

RATING: 4 STARS****
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(5) NOSFERATU
(CASE FILES 9: progs 430-433 – 4 episodes)

The Judge Dredd comic introduced vampires into its world in the City of the Damned Epic in Volume 8, but that might readily have seen them become a one-off feature. After all, the vampires in that epic were the Judges from the future 2120 timeline transformed into vampires by the uniquely powerful psi ability of the mutated Owen Krysler or Judge Child.

However, Volume 9 reintroduced vampires as a recurring and surprisingly regular feature in the mini-epic Nosferatu – continuing the vein of the nominally post-apocalyptic or dystopian SF Judge Dredd as a regular fantasy kitchen sink, where any genre trope from SF, fantasy or horror was up for grabs. Of course, the title was a dead giveaway, a word popularized by Bram Stoker purportedly as a Romanian name for vampire, but in fairness the vampire here had an SF rather than supernatural twist – an alien spider-vampire, albeit a shape-changing one.

RATING: 4 STARS****
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(4) SHANTY TOWN
(CASE FILES 6: progs 300-303 – 4 episodes)

Ah – Shanty Town! Or Judge Dredd does Helm’s Deep (or the film Zulu)

Shanty Town looms large for me among Judge Dredd episodes. For one thing, it’s a storyline very much told in the shadow of the Apocalypse War, as the titular Shanty Town is some weird refugee residue from that war just beyond the outskirts of Mega-City One (although it’s a little unclear how it came into being and persisted outside the attention of Mega-City One’s Judges).

For another – and more fundamentally – it has always been a classic Judge Dredd story for me. Judge Dredd – and the Mega-City One Judges (including Hershey) who accompany him to enforce the Law in Shanty Town – are at their most classic characterization. Damn they make those Mega-City One Judges tough.

It is also a classic Judge Dredd action plot – in this case similar to those heavily outnumbered heroic last stands we see in war films, although of course here Dredd and his fellow Judges (although not all of them) prevail by force of sheer guts and toughness as well as their superior firepower, experience and training.

Shanty Town is introduced in the first few pages as a lawless – indeed literally beyond the Law – makeshift but vast “conglomeration containing the flotsam and jetsam of the Apocalypse War”. Well, not literally flotsam or jetsam, since that refers to debris in water, and Shanty Town is very much on land beyond the west wall of Mega-City One, but you get the idea. It also consists of more than a million refugees – presumably originating from the millions we saw flee the city during the Apocalypse War – lorded over by crime gangs. How exactly the refugees subsist is not clear – since most shanty towns eke out their economic survival from the cities of which they are part or attached – but it is clear how the crime gangs subsist, off the backs of the refugees. Literally in some cases, as they harvest them for organ smuggling, to which has recently been added smuggling live merchandise or babies. Which is how Shanty Town provokes the attention of Judge Dredd, as he comes across a baby being smuggled into Mega-City One.

And so Dredd gets authority from Chief Judge McGruder to “clean up Shanty Town” – to which end she orders him “choose a squad and take whatever action you deem necessary”. Finally, the Law comes to Shanty Town – as Dredd and his squad (on Lawmaster bikes) ride into it and nail their notices up:

“Justice Department be warned. This habitation now comes under the jurisdiction of the law of Mega-City One. All lawbreakers will be punished accordingly. By order – Dredd”

Of course, Shanty Town has its own way of biting back hard – hence the epic battle that is the climax of the storyline.

RATING: 4 STARS****
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(3) THE BLACK PLAGUE

(CASE FILES 3: progs 140-143 – 4 episodes)

 

Judge Dredd gets spider-iffic in The Black Plague – and there’s a spider invasion of Mega-City One!

 

Actually, Dredd gets spider-iffic surprisingly often, although usually not on this scale – typically in the form of some sort of mutant or mutants, courtesy of the Cursed Earth, that endless source of mutant weirdness. In this case, it’s a mega-swarm of billions of Cursed Earth spiders – which would be bad enough in itself, but you know if anything comes from the Cursed Earth, it’s usually highly toxic as well, and these spiders are no exception.

 

This storyline of four episodes also sees one of my favorite minor characters (although unfortunately we never see him again after it) – the carnivorous talking mutant horse jokingly named Henry Ford. Carnivorous, intelligent (with quite the wise-cracking personality) and the ability to talk – that’s one hell of a mutation, but who cares? He’s just too much damn fun.

 

RATING: 4 STARS****

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(2) FATHER EARTH

(CASE FILES 3: progs 122-125 – 4 episodes)

 

The Father Earth storyline was the first of the recurring incursions into Mega-City One from the Cursed Earth, that post-apocalyptic mutated wasteland that was the United States.

Setting aside a previous minor incursion in the nature of a raid by the mutant Brotherhood of Darkness, this is the first incursion on a major scale – particularly as earlier mutant raiders preceded the city wall built by Chief Judge Cal.

This particular incursion is led by the messianic mutant Father Earth, apocalyptic eco-terrorist and walking embodiment of flower power (as plants literally bloom from him). Father Earth is accompanied by his groupies, who seem surprisingly attractive for inhabitants of the Cursed Earth (much like Immortan Joe’s supermodel “wives” in Mad Max: Fury Road).

More ominously, he has his mutant army 10,000 strong or so, with his revolutionary vanguard of the Doomsday Dogs – and doomsday is what Father Earth preaches for Mega-City One. Father Earth has a dream – and that dream is the total destruction of Mega-City One, returning it to nature (such as it is in the Cursed Earth).

 

RATING: 4 STARS****

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(1) MONKEY BUSINESS AT THE CHARLES DARWIN BLOCK

(CASE FILES 4: progs 184-185 – 2 episodes)

 

This two-episode story features one of my classic Dredd favorites, in which Dredd arrests the origin of the species. Literally.

Set in one of the most aptly and conveniently named blocks in Mega-City One history – “Mega-City One had seen some strange disasters, but none so bizarre as the day evolution ran wild – and a whole city block became…the naked jungle”.

Well not so much evolution but devolution. It starts with Professor E. Northcote Fribb, who has just “isolated an enzyme which can reverse the process of evolution” – because, uh, science! However, for someone who is intelligent enough to succeed in such an unprecedented discovery, he is remarkably stupid in taking no basic precautions – or indeed, outright sniffing his test tube (which smells rather like spaghetti sauce). The scent immediately starts to devolve him. Worse, he drops the enzyme on the floor and ventilation spreads it throughout the block, devolving the rest of its population into hominids or ape-like primates, even Judges sent in without respirators.

Dredd of course figures out it’s an airborne contaminant and heads into the block to root out the source of contamination – quickly identified to be the block’s notoriously mad professor on the 66th floor. Dredd slowly makes his way through the apes of wrath to the 66th floor, impeded somewhat as the apes set fire to the building in an inversion of that black monolith from 2001: A Space Odyssey. As he nears that floor, the devolution has, ah, regressed further from ape-like primates to “lower animal stages”, from recognizably mammalian to unrecognizably reptilian on the 66th floor itself…

Behold the origin of the species – as in the professor’s unit 66C itself, the professor has kept devolving right back past any vertebrate ancestry to its starting point. As Dredd exclaims (after the usual “Drokk!” of course), it’s “some kind of giant amoeba”.

Eww! And why does it still have eyes?! Kill it with fire! Not the amoeba, but the de-evolutionary enzyme – as Dredd instructs the fire-fighting crews to eliminate any trace of it. As for the now protoplasmic perpetrator, Dredd arrests him or it of course, presumably to do a few billion years in an iso-cube to evolve back to humanity.

 

RATING: 5 STARS*****

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MEGA-CITY LAW:

TOP 10 JUDGE DREDD EPICS & EPISODES – ARCS (TIER LIST)

 

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(1) MONKEY BUSINESS AT CHARLES DARWIN BLOCK

 

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(2) FATHER EARTH

(3) THE BLACK PLAGUE

(4) SHANTY TOWN

(5) NOSFERATU

 

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(6) THE BLOOD OF SATANUS

(7) PIRATES OF THE BLACK ATLANTIC

(8) BOB & CAROL & TED & RINGO

(9) BILL BAILEY, WON’T YOU PLEASE COME HOME?

 

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(10) MUZAK KILLER

Top Tens – Film: Top 10 Films (5) Bruce Lee – Enter the Dragon

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Bruce Lee in his iconic pose from Enter the Dragon

 

(5) BRUCE LEE –

ENTER THE DRAGON (1973)

 

“Don’t think. Feel.”

The iconic martial arts action film by the iconic martial arts action film star.

And yes – the film may be somewhat cheesy at points, albeit not more so than other films in the 70s and which may also owe something to how much this film has blurred together with its superb parody A Fistful of Yen in the 1977 comedy sketch film Kentucky Fried Movie deep within my psyche. (The other thing deeply embedded in my psyche from that film is the sketch Catholic High School Girls in Trouble – “never has the beauty of the sexual act been so crassly exploited”).

But it is glorious, showcasing Bruce Lee – “the quintessential martial arts film star, particularly for action films set in contemporary times, a breakthrough star for Asian actors in Hollywood and widely considered one of the most influential martial artists of the 20th century”.

So deeply has it embedded itself in my psyche that it has fostered a love of martial arts action films ever since – which I then consciously or subconsciously compare to Enter the Dragon. And for that matter a love of martial arts film stars ever since, particularly east Asian martial arts film stars. Indeed, this entry is intended to be representative of martial arts action films (and film stars) in general.

As per TV Tropes, it is the martial arts action trope codifier – “since this movie, almost every other work of martial arts tournament fiction has borrowed from Enter The Dragon, particularly its usage of the main hero seeking revenge against the Big Bad in a fighting tournament in a faraway exotic location full of colorful villains and other supporting heroes with their own personal motives for entering”.

Of course, the whole concept of the martial arts tournament doesn’t hold up too well as a vanity project by a criminal organization – given the potential for exposing and jeopardizing the organization, at least to the very infiltration that is the plot of the film.

Nor for that matter does a criminal organization relying on training masses of minions in martial arts – another visually iconic element of martial arts films, moving and shouting in unison – instead of, you know, guns.

Finally, I have to give a chef’s kiss to yet another iconic element of martial arts films codified – the climactic showdown between protagonist and antagonist, strikingly displayed here in a mirrored maze.

 

FANTASY & SF

Not really here, but there’s always been a fine line between martial arts action films and fantasy in the mystical skill (or visions) of combatants – something which things like wuxia films and animated or anime series cross over. Not to mention the space Shaolin monks of Star Wars…

 

COMEDY

It has its comedic elements, albeit not as prominent as other martial arts action films – notably those of Jackie Chan (who had a minor role in Enter the Dragon). It certainly has its comedic elements after you’ve seen A Fistful of Yen – such that you’ll never watch it in quite the same straight-faced fashion again – and it has been repeatedly parodied elsewhere.

 

RATING: 4 STARS****

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