Mega-City Law – Judge Dredd Case Files 19

 

JUDGE DREDD CASE FILES 19

Mega-City One 2115

(1993: progs 830-855 / Megazine 2.27-2.43)

 

Our next stop is Case Files 19 but just make sure to remain near the Mega-City Law bus – we won’t be staying here long.

 

That’s right – we’re perhaps at the darkest part of the Dark Age of Dredd, when Garth Ennis passed the torch as main writer to Grant Morrison and Mark Millar. As I said previously for the Dark Age of Dredd, this was often seen as a low point for Judge Dredd and the 2000 AD comic in general.

 

Don’t get me wrong – I like Morrison and Millar as writers, indeed as two of my favorite writers of comics…just not for Judge Dredd here. For whatever reason, they just weren’t the best fit for the character or 2000 AD comic at this time (although both had written some of their best work for 2000 AD), particularly as a writing team duo.

 

Although don’t get me wrong about that either – I do like some of their Judge Dredd episodes or storylines even at this time. There’s just slim pickings from those collected in this Case Files volume.

 

The standout for me was easily the episode War Games – not least for its introduction of the Sino-Cit Judges – although sadly subsequent episodes did nothing with its premise, either the pending crisis predicted by Psi-Division (in eighteen months, maybe less) or the “aggro-drug” they experiment on with Dredd to prepare for that crisis.

 

Ironically, the Megazine episodes collected in this volume offer up the runner-up for standout episode with Revenge of the Egghead – ironically, that is, because for me the (monthly) Judge Dredd Megazine is generally secondary to the (weekly) regular 2000 AD issues, but because we’re dealing with the Dark Age of Dredd here, the Megazine episodes often stepped up to take their place.

 

Anyway, there were some other episodes or arcs of interest collected in this volume – the Muzak Killer returns, as does another recurring antagonists penned by Garth Ennis, Johnni Kiss.

 

The episodes in Case Files 19 did feature an epic storyline – epic that is, in length as it consisted of 12 episodes, albeit towards the shorter end of Judge Dredd epics. Not so epic in terms of story quality – I am of course talking about Inferno, which I’ll mostly be passing over with a couple of panels or so. Among other things, it set in place something of a trend for the space penal colony of Titan, reserved for Judges who break the law, to become almost as bad a revolving-door prison for escapees as Arkham Asylum in Batman. Well, perhaps not quite that bad but still annoying – and at least a recurring problem in general for Mega-City One.

 

There was also the return of the Mechanismo robot judge storyline in the Megazine. Heh – more like Meh-chanismo, amirite?

 

 

 

JUDGE DREDD CASE FILES 19:

ENTER JONNI KISS (prog 830)

 

Judge Dredd vs John Wick. Well not really (and not quite yet) but similar in the whole legendary assassin thing.

Okay, okay – I have to admit Case Files 19 opens with a bang and badass assassin Jonni Kiss looks cool when introduced, although everyone looks cool when they’re in art by Greg Staples.

And okay – he proves to be more dangerous than other antagonists for Judge Dredd. That is, when we return to him after his introduction here – two years later or so in the Goodnight Kiss arc compiled in Case Files 23.

But we’ve been here before – the badass or cool hitman or assassin pitted against Judge Dredd, often doing surprisingly well or even seeming to take Dredd out but then doing the Bond villain thing of gloating over him rather than just shooting him already.

Drokk – we’ve even done the exact same foreshadowing in an introductory episode a few years before returning in a longer story arc to kick Dredd’s ass but drop the ball just before touchdown. Remember Wu Wang – or as I like to call her, Lady Deathfist, out to avenge martial artist Stan Lee? Yeah – they did the same thing for her.

Let’s face it – Dredd has faced and will continue to face a long line of badass or skilled assassins, agents, bounty hunters, hitmen or just someone with a grudge against him, all with a bullet (or something) with his name on it, arguably going all the way back to his own clone-brother Rico. Grud – there’s probably enough for their own top ten – Top 10 People Out to Get Dredd or even just Top 10 Judge Dredd Assassins & Hitmen. As Dredd himself says when he hears someone is out to get him or has a grudge, they’ll just have to get in line to take their shot.

Indeed, the Megazine episodes compiled in this same volume include a parody of that same character type of the badass cool assassin out to get Dredd – Slick Dickens, amusingly written as a character of that type written by a Mega-City One citizen, which of course sees him repeatedly jailed by Dredd (although you suspect Dredd’s secretly a fan),

In fairness, Jonni Kiss does better and is better at it than most, as evidenced by his trophy wall of Judge badges.

And he is introduced with a literal bang – assassinating no less than East Meg Two’s Supreme Judge Traktorfaktori. Sigh – I liked him and he seemed a decent sort when introduced into the Glasnost storyline. And yes – Judge Dredd continues its 90s trend of names for foreign Judges seemingly straight out of Asterix. It gets worse in this episode – as we hear of two rival contenders for succession, Riboflavin and Markimarkov, although at least it gives us the great line from Dredd “one Sov’s as bad as another.”

Of course, it helped that Trakforfaktori seemed to be well past it and that Kiss had a little help from some Gila-Munja mutant offshoots, although he double-crosses them, I wouldn’t put it past the Sovs that he had a little inside help as well, given the lax security we see here – possibly one of those rival contenders or even just anyone from the Diktatorat because that’s just how they roll.

But in fairness, Kiss does seem to be the best at what he does – taking out the Supreme Judge as well as the Gila-Munja out for revenge. And those were just test runs to prove his worth for his real target – who is of course Dredd. Although weirdly Kiss seems to go in for a good old-fashioned fax for receiving his instructions, even though those instructions are literally just the one word “DREDD”, setting up his subsequent appearance…

 

 

JUDGE DREDD CASE FILES 19:

THE GREAT BRAIN ROBBERY (progs 835-836)

The Judge Who Lives Downstairs (prog 831)

The Chieftain (prog 832-834)

 

Judge Dredd’s memories are so bad they literally make your head explode!

Why? “Because they’re all bad, meathead”

No, seriously – that’s the plot twist of the two-episode storyline, The Great Brain Robbery, and I am here for it, even if it does not make sense or seems impossible in biology or physics.

I mean, this story is a hoot, both in its premise and plot twist.

Yes, the premise involves yet another new crime driven by technology – memory theft (or thought theft as it is called in the episodes), courtesy of the neuron extractor. Although I don’t recall it featured anywhere else other than these two episodes, which might reflect how flawed its premise is as a crime when you look at it too closely.

We’re introduced to it through a Mega-City ‘tap’ gang, literally mugging one of MC-1’s many down-and-out citizens of his memories. In fairness, they seem a cut above the usual street gang.

For one thing, they carry it out in broad daylight on a crowded street. Sure, they seem to be relying on that common tendency to look the other way, even in our contemporary cities, let alone the dystopian giant mega-city city of the future – particularly where the victim is someone socially invisible like a homeless beggar. That’s further explained by the narration in the second episode – which notes that half of the Judge force has been wiped out by Necropolis and Judgement Day, so “the creeps are making the most of it”.

For another, this memory-mugging gang has more resources than your average street gang. Apparently that’s because memory theft has a high-end market, with rich citizens paying big to live vicariously through the stolen memories. That’s the part that doesn’t make sense to me. The lives of the overwhelming majority of Mega-City One’s citizens – at least 90% – are defined by their dystopian quality of grinding welfare dependency and drudgery.

Why would Mega-City One’s richest citizens – who can afford to actually live top-end experiences – want to buy memories of lower-end experiences? Sure there may be some thrill of ‘slumming’ it in someone’s crappy memories. More probably, there may be the thrill of experiencing some violent crime that is the other definitive feature of life in Mega-City One, although one anticipates that the market would be more for memories of perpetrators rather than victims, as the equivalent of playing some video game like Grand Theft Auto. However, the narrative makes it clear that the neuron extractor only extracts a few memories and that it’s a matter of potluck which ones you get.

More to the point, the subject of the stolen memories actually referred to in the storyline are mostly banal – “best memory my supplier ever sold me was one of picking up this measly account’s clerk med bills”. Sheesh! That guy can buy all my crappy memories. Although I do like the drug analogy.

Anyway, at least the main antagonist of the storyline – Vito Colletta – has the right idea for a target with memories that promise to be exciting. That’s right – it’s Judge Dredd. After all, we read the comic for excitement.

The memory thieves get their opportunity from Dredd doing his usual thing – going in solo into a city sector gone wild. Chief Judge McGruder initially tells him “you’re going to need serious backup” and the withering look he gives her is priceless. (She immediately retracts her statement – “Uh–no offence, Joe…!”).

 

 

Anyway, that gives the memory thieves the chance to do a drive-by shooting with the neuron extractor. They only get a “handful” of memories but that’s apparently worth “at least 5 mil”. Although I’m a little worried – does this mean that Dredd has lost those memories? Going by that homeless victim we see in the story, it does. On the bright side, Dredd does end up apprehending the rich receivers behind the memory thieves and they have some device to play the memories, so he could have used it to restore the stolen memories.

That of course brings me to that plot twist. Vito Colletta tries on Dredd’s memories for size – after not only reneging on paying anything for them, let alone 5 million, but also having his henchman literally throw them off the building. No honor among memory thieves, I guess.

Anyway, as I said, Vito tries on Dredd’s memories for size – “Judge Dredd’s memories! The action of Necropolis–crossing the Cursed Earth in a killdozer. Soon I’ll have the memories of a hero!” – and they blow his mind. Literally – as in his head explodes. And just before Dredd raids them too, hence his line to the rest of the memory receivers, to which he adds “Guess that creep wasn’t tough enough to handle ’em!”

And yes I skipped two stories

 

  • The Judge Who Lives Downstairs (prog 831) – A fun little episode of Dredd doing the rounds in his home block, Randy Yates Block, which the episode notes is “the safest place to live in Mega-City One”. No surprise there.
  • The Chieftain (progs 832-834) – an ex-Brit Cit ranger from Cal Hab (Caledonian Habitation Zone) on a roaring rampage of revenge in Mega-City One. He even has a weaponized bagpipe droid that kills with sonic waves – the Psycho-Piper, a “tight focus sonic disruptor on a robot chassis”. Dear Grud. Still – probably sounds better than regular bagpipes.

 

 

JUDGE DREDD CASE FILES 19:

MUZAK KILLER – LIVE! (progs 837-839)

 

Video killed the radio star – the Muzak Killer’s back and this time he’s live! And again in that glorious Dermot Power art!

Yes – it’s Marty Zpok, back from when we last saw him a couple of years back in Case Files 16. I mean, there’s only been a global zombie apocalypse in the meantime but not much seems to have changed for Zpok and the 22nd century ‘muzak’ he hates.

Well, except of course, he’s doing time in the cubes from his run as the Muzak Killer, when he targeted a thinly veiled version of the 1990s English music producers Stock Aitken Waterman and their expatriate Australian artists from the long-running (and highly popular) soap opera Neighbours, foremost among them Kylie Minogue.

Apart from time in the cubes, that has also seen him as the butt of the running gag in these episodes – being called “sad”, as in pathetic or a loser. It starts slowly and subtly with the abuse of his fellow inmates – as they beat him up in the shower, leaving him with a gap-toothed grin from a missing tooth like Mad Magazine’s Alfred E. Neuman for the rest of the story – but escalating to pretty much everyone, including Dredd, calling him out as sad or pathetic.

As “sad” as he is, his luck changes as we find out the Muzak Killer has his own fans. Not many of them to be sure, but quality counts over quantity for fans that are willing and able to break him out of prison in an aerial raid, led by his biggest fan called – what else? – Indiana Saddoe, presumably yet another play on the recurring gag of Zpok being sad. The raid doesn’t exactly go without a hitch. Unluckily, Judge Dredd happens to be in the vicinity and a well-aimed hi-ex shot takes out the “stratorover”, although Zpok and Saddoe survive the crash to escape to Saddoe’s apartment.

And from there they plot – well, mostly Zpok plots and Saddoe just goes along with it like the saddo he is – to hijack a ‘vid’ broadcasting station and broadcast Zpok’s war on muzak live. Needless to say, it does not go well for them, although it ends in a surprisingly lucky turn of events for Zpok. Lucky lucky lucky!

 

 

 

JUDGE DREDD CASE FILES 19:

MUZAK KILLER – LIVE 1 (prog 837)

 

I’ve already covered most of the first episode in my introduction to this arc but the first episode concludes with Saddoe and Zpok holed up at Saddoe’s apartment.

Interestingly, Saddoe is such a fan that he’s even purchased a copy of Zpok’s original Muzak Killer outfit from the first story for Zpok to wear in this one. (Of course, Zpok was wearing his original outfit when apprehended by Dredd). Nothing is said – we just see Zpok wearing it as opposed to his iso-cube regulation clothing so Saddoe must have bought it for him in advance.

 

Sadly, Zpok is less impressed with Saddoe’s music collection, even though it’s “the hippest alterni-music vibes in the Meg). For Zpok, all new music is muzak – “Exactly, Indy. Lesson one – music is only cool when it’s old.”

 

Although he contradicts himself with the very next words out of his mouth – “Down to business, Indy. How’s the music scene doing? Who’s big? Must be some pretty good bands about, since I wiped out the bad ones!”

 

O well – I suppose we shouldn’t look for consistency in the mind of a deranged killer. I suppose he could be talking about covers bands…

 

Anyway, that prompts Saddoe to reply that “lots of new muzak stars popped up and took over from the dead ones”.

 

Zpok is incredulous – “Eh? They didn’t even notice me?”

 

Well yes, they did – but not in any good way. Saddoe produces all of the “press clippings” from the so-called Ramsay bop or Zpok’s first murder spree (weird to think that there’s still paper press clippings or no digital scans in the twenty-second century). And upon reading them Zpok is barraged with descriptions of how pathetically sad he is…which makes him angry.

 

To appease him, Saddoe sees if there is any news of Zpok’s escape on the vid news and sure enough there is. Even better, Zpok rebounds with a newfound sense of purpose upon seeing the latest ‘vid’ entertainment show, Word Up, featuring live muzak. Now he’s a man with a plan – “Heh heh heh…Indy, my boy? You and I are going to be vid stars”.

 

I just love the look on Indy’s face, which says it all really…uh oh. 

 

 

JUDGE DREDD CASE FILES 19:

MUZAK KILLER – LIVE 2 (prog 838)

 

“Oh my drokking Grud!”

I mean, haven’t we all wanted to take a monster chainsaw to that one annoying ponce mouthing off about us? You know the one. And this was before social media – now you could cut through whole swathes of online critics.

Joking aside, I can’t help but feel that writer Garth Ennis or artist Dermot Power are using the Muzak Killer to work through some issues here. That journalist – David O’Steven – has an awfully distinctive appearance. I suspect there’s some inner joke in his name or appearance that I just can’t get through the dust of all these years later.

Anyway, David O’Steven was the journalist whose gutter press writing about the Muzak Killer’s last appearance enraged Zpok on reading it – “Marty Zpok’s slaughter of muzak stars proves just how sad some people are. The love of a good woman might help – but he’s so sad he’s probably never had a girlfriend, the sad jerk”. So there you have it – Judge Dredd did i-n-c-e-l-s first by decades.

And as luck would have it, prompted by Zpok’s escape, he’s writing – or dictating – more of the same when Zpok decides to pay him a visit with Saddoe in toe. Well, you can guess how that goes, particularly with that chainsaw. Mind you, you’ve got to love O’Steven’s last words – “I’ll print an apologaaaagh!”. Sorry Dave, I’m afraid you can’t do that.

Meanwhile, Dredd is hot on Zpok’s trail, although it’s hard to miss. As Dredd observes – “I’m in O’Steven’s hab, Control – he’s all over the place.” Let’s say the visual image of the panel matches that.

However, as we know, Zpok has bigger plans than petty personal revenge – or perhaps rather bigger plans that overlap his petty personal revenge against the world of muzak. And those plans involve hijacking the popular vid broadcast Word Up.

A quick tangent – we see the host of Word Up interviewing “aging star Conrad Conn”. Now there’s a blast from the past – Conrad Conn featured all the way back in The Day the Law Died (as collected in Case Files 2), as Mega-City One’s most popular vid star conscripted by Chief Judge Cal to star as Cal in the Chief Judge’s video ode to himself. That’s what I love about Ennis writing Dredd – you can tell he was a real fanboy for the classic early episodes.

Anyway, that’s what Zpok and Saddoe do – hijack the vid broadcast. Saddoe takes over the control room, with a randomizer to block the Judges from jamming the broadcast (and to keep the control room robots and staff broadcasting at gunpoint). And Zpok’s our host, after throttling the actual host Gerry Hindu and shooting female co-host Kati Mukkrake.

And you know – I think he may have missed his calling as a vid broadcast host, because he’s quite entertaining. Perhaps he and Mega-City One’s muzak industry might have been happier if he’d gone that route as a host of a music vid broadcast, a metaphorical Muzak Killer as it were with snide snarky criticism of muzak stars he doesn’t like. Sadly now he’s the literal Muzak Killer – and as he announces to his live audience, he’s just getting started with the show’s guests…

 

 

JUDGE DREDD CASE FILES 19:

MUZAK KILLER – LIVE 3 (prog 839)

 

“And now…the end is near…And so I face…the final curtain”

Well it’s time to wrap up this show – and by this show, I mean the vid broadcast Word Up hijacked by Marty Zpok a.k.a. the Muzak Killer. He must have known how this would end but he planned to go out with a bang – you might say he did it his way. Indeed, he does more than say it – he sings it, which I found quite surprising since I hadn’t picked him for a Sinatra fan. I mean, I know he liked old music – it’s his moniker after all – but I thought he preferred the different genre of classic or alternative ‘rock’.

And as I said, he goes out with a bang – indeed, several of them. He killed the two broadcast hosts last episode and now he gets started on the guests. Mairaid McSlaphead – I’m pretty sure she was a parody of Sinead O’Connor. Demanda – another of the broadcast’s hosts. Clarence from the Crazy Sked Moaners – not sure of the reference, but ironically he kills himself trying to carve the word ‘real’ into his forehead with a las cutter. Not sure we can chalk that one up to Zpok’s tally, although arguably Zpok egged him on – and you have to admit Zpok quipping “that’s not how you spell real” is funny. In fairness, it wouldn’t be easy getting the letters right on your own forehead.

Zpok gets another good gag in when he asks Anni O’Boge, sister of Syreen O’Boge whom he killed in the ‘Ramsay Bop Massacre’, about her sister “two years ago”. She starts to answer him but belatedly recognizes him – “Hang on a mo’…ain’t you the bloke who…?”. “Yep” says Zpok as he shoots her.

Quick side bar – Anni would presumably be a parody of Danni Minogue, sister of Kylie Minogue parodied by Styreen. And I hadn’t noticed before now that the ‘Ramsay Bop Massacre’ would also be a reference to Ramsay Street, setting of the Australian soap opera Neighbours, beloved in England and from which Kylie and her fellow ‘muzak’ pop stars originated.

Anyway, that’s the last shot Zpok gets in – as Judge Dredd has answered the call by Justice Control to attend the studio, shot Saddoe, and had the hostage studio staff shut down the broadcast (bypassing Saddoe’s jammer).

Which brings us to Zpok singing My Way with its apt lyrics – and Dredd brings down the curtain with a gunshot to the head. “Sad, creep.”

 

 

JUDGE DREDD CASE FILES 19:

MUZAK KILLER – LIVE 3 (prog 839)

 

But wait – there’s more. I can’t resist this epilogue (“six weeks later”) of how Marty Zpok learned to stop worrying and love the muzak.

 

Of course it helps that Dredd’s headshot effectively lobotomized him.

 

Lucky, lucky, lucky.

There’s two episodes after Muzak Killer, which represented Garth Ennis handing over the reins of primary writing duties to the duo of Grant Morrison and Mark Millar:

  • Tough Justice (prog 840), penned by Mark Millar, in which juves exchange the equivalent of campfire horror stories about Judge Dredd embodying the titular tough justice to scare one of them straight (sadly too late as Dredd catches them trying to dispose of a blaster)
  • Down Among the Dead Men (prog 841) also penned by Milar – in which grave-robbing seems to make a 22nd century revival, except snatching corpses from Resyk for medical students. Except…isn’t most medicine done by robots?

 

 

JUDGE DREDD CASE FILES 19:

INFERNO (progs 842 – 853)

 

I should be excited.

Firstly, Inferno is a Judge Dredd epic, albeit of twelve episodes rather than the usual ‘full’ epic length – the first epic after Judgement Day and yet another existential threat to Mega-City One (as well as potentially to other mega-cities), made more dire by how much Justice Department was weakened by Judgement Day.

Secondly, it’s Grant Morrison’s debut as primary writer for Judge Dredd, taking over (in tandem with Mark Millar) from Garth Ennis.

I should be excited but I’m not. That’s because Inferno is distinctly underwhelming. I’m not entirely sure why – it hits all the right beats for a Dredd epic, but yet feels strangely by the numbers, like Morrison was phoning it in. As indeed it felt for his and Millar’s run as the primary writers on Judge Dredd and 2000 AD – as much as I enjoy both writers for their work elsewhere (indeed Morrison’s earlier story Zenith for 2000 AD remains my second favorite comic of all time, second only to Judge Dredd), ranking them both in my Top 10 Comics, they just didn’t seem to be the right fit here. I’m not the only one that regards their run as where the Dark Age of Dredd was at its darkest, although it still has its highlights – but Inferno isn’t one of them.

It’s essentially a jailbreak – from the penal colony of Titan back to Mega-City One. How anyone pulls this off is beyond me, but Inferno started the trend for Titan as some sort of revolving door prison IN SPACE, rivalled only by Arkham Asylum in Batman for ease of escape or riot (or both). Even worse, the jailbreak effectively happened off-panel before the epic, in the prequel Purgatory by Mark Millar featured separately in the Megazine.

By his own admission, Morrison wrote Dredd simply as “just a big bastard with a gun”, but despite some tantalizing glimpses to the contrary, Morrison also wrote the antagonist – ex-Judge Grice returned from his exile and imprisonment for his conspiracy against the referendum and Judge Dredd back in The Devil You Know / Twilight’s Last Gleaming – equally as one dimensional “bastard with a gun”. Except, you know, not just a gun but also armed with an apocalyptic virus. I’ll give him ram-raiding the Hall of Justice with a spaceship for style though.

I tend to agree with the observations of the Dredd Reckoning blog about Inferno:

“Instead, there’s so much horribly clumsy writing here. Morrison asks us to believe that Grice’s small team of disgraced, hobbled ex-Judges could drive all the current Judges out of the city (off-panel); that the Grand Hall of Justice is built directly on top of iso-cubes; that Dredd would unblinkingly slaughter a building’s worth of prisoners rather than allow them to potentially be freed (although “it was only a parking offence!” strikes me as a very Morrisonian joke…that the Titan escapees would be packed on board a “pre-programmed robot ship” (cough) so Dredd could blow it up; that the Statue of Judgement is perched adjacent to the Cursed Earth, i.e. on the western border of Mega-City One (hint: it’s directly adjacent to the Statue of Liberty, which is on the eastern edge of North America); that the Judges would have an oh-well attitude to germ warfare decimating the population of MC1 (“fewer citizens means less crime”–er, that’s Judge Death’s position); that, after killing a bad guy in a career-record gruesome way, Dredd would go for a James Bond-style one-liner; that hand-to-hand combat between Dredd and Grice could settle the entire problem…”

I also tend to agree with the observation that Wagner’s Day of Chaos not only was an effective sequel to the Apocalypse War, but was “also in some ways, a vastly improved variation on a lot of the plot devices of Inferno…It involves psychic premonitions of doom, germ warfare, turncoat Judges, the Statue of Judgment and Hall of Justice attacked)”

Still, it did have some classic Ezquerra art, so I’ll essentially go from one art highlight to the next while being as economic with the epic’s storyline as possible.

 

 

JUDGE DREDD CASE FILES 19:

INFERNO 1-2 – Inferno / Titan Fall! (progs 842-843)

 

“Death from the skies!”

Sigh – Psi-Division being useless as usual without Anderson.

Okay – I have to admit that’s a badass introduction to Inferno in the final panel of the first episode.

And you have to give it to the epic that it hits the ground running – literally ram-raiding the Hall of Justice FROM SPACE!

And it’s badass introductions all round this episode – not least for Judge Dredd himself, as he takes out the Bazooka Brothers, a dubious duo using their titular weapon of choice to destroy shops or something.

But before Dredd, we’re introduced to Psi-Judge Janus – literally on her 19th birthday. Although that just shows how useless Psi-Division is that this raw Psi-Judge, presumably fresh out from graduating as a cadet, is their replacement for Psi-Judge Anderson (on mission off-world). I mean, she’s, like, likable enough – that’s a play on her Valley Girl verbal mannerisms by the way – but she’s no Judge Anderson.

Sadly, Psi-Division is even more useless than that as they also have to rely on a secondment from another mega-city – which sees the first introduction of an Indian mega-city, Delhi-Cit (sometimes written as Nu Delhi), and an Indian Judge, Psi-Judge Bhaji.

It’s his precognitive dream quoted in that panel – “death from the skies”. Bhaji is only marginally more useful than Psi-Division. I mean, at least he had some precognitive alert to the impending disaster about to strike Mega-City One – although apparently “every single Judge in Psi-Division had the same dream” but it’s not exactly helpful advice in terms of warning or preventative action, is it? It’s even less helpful timing as it’s literally just before it happens. That’s barely precognitive. It’s like Lisa Simpson tells a fortune teller in one episode – wow, you can see into the…present. That dream is barely better than looking out the window.

Or screen in this case, as Mega-City One detects fifteen incoming spaceships as the second episode opens – after the reader has been introduced to the epic’s antagonist, ex-Judge Grice and his fellow escapees from Titan, “carrying a deadly germ weapon, the meat virus”.

Which seems to have a nearly instantaneous effect in the dispersion area as they use their ships to ram raid the Hall of Justice and other buildings. We see a Judge Noonan succumb to it as she reports back from Mick Travis Block – named for a fictional film character. “Rapid…toxic…effects!”

We also see Grice swooping in with a jetpack – “This is your wake-up call, Mega-City One!”

I guess that space prison time on Titan left a little to be desired for rehabilitation.

 

 

JUDGE DREDD CASE FILES 19:

INFERNO 3-4 Descent into the Maelstrom! / Kill or Cure! (progs 844-845)

 

“No! It was only a parking offence! My Grud! It was only a parking offence…!”

Classic Morrison gag, although not up there with his best one-liners – for that, you have to go to Zenith.

Anyway, Grice and his renegade ex-Judges overwhelm Justice Department with their spaceship ram-raids – and above all the “meat virus”, apparently a weaponized virus they were developing on Titan. McGruder tells the other senior Judges in the Hall of Justice bunker that they have about an hour before showing symptoms – masks are useless as it spreads through the skin.

Still not sure how Grice’s few ex-Judges and spaceships are able to achieve the spread – of ex-Judges, ram raids or the meat virus – to overwhelm the entire Justice Department throughout Mega-City One but there you have it. There’s also Citi-Def but the writers forgot them for the other recent crises of Necropolis and Judgement Day as well.

There’s a grisly scene replaying that brutal torn apart by horses thing you see as a trope in pre-modern torture or execution. You know the one – where you have four horses pulling in opposite directions on a rope or chain to each of a person’s limbs. Except here of course they use Lawmasters – begging the question of how they bypassed the security protocols of the Lawmaster computers. You know, being ex-Judges convicted and sent to Titan.

Anyway, Grice and his renegade Judges ram-raid the Hall of Justice itself, as well as pumping the gas with the meat virus through the vents. McGruder orders a strategic evacuation – but says they can’t “afford to let Grice free the prisoners in the iso-cubes”. Um – why? As in why would he free them? And why can’t they afford to let him free the prisoners – would they really be reliable allies for Grice, or allies at all? Although it does give us that parking offence gag, as Dredd orders the cubes to be flooded. Since when did the Hall of Justice have iso-cubes? And follow-up question – why are they rigged to be flooded? Fortunately, the flooded cubes do serve a more useful – and less callous – purpose later in the epic.

We get to see Judge Hershey pull a big damn heroes moment similar to McGruder gunning down zombies in Judgement Day, but for the renegade judges threatening to gun down the evacuees, Dredd and McGruder among them. She also has a H-wagon, begging the question of where every other H-wagon in the city is and what they are doing.

As they fly away in the H-wagon – apparently part of a general and implausible retreat by all Justice Department outside the city, something which has never occurred in any crisis before or since – McGruder explains the meat virus. An alien virus (from actual dead aliens on Titan), Justice Department were developing it as a weapon. Secondary stage symptoms are sores appearing on the skin a couple of days after infection – more seriously, they all have two weeks to live as that’s when the terminal tertiary stage symptoms or complete tissue breakdown appears unless the antidote is administered before then. (And it has to be before the tertiary stage).

You’d think Justice Department might have had some antidote in Mega-City One in case something went wrong on Titan…but no. You’d be wrong. Of course, Grice and his renegade ex-Judges have the antidote. So that probably explains why McGruder heads off on a Lawmaster, presumably to make amends for her lapse of judgement – perhaps offering herself up to Grice in return for the antidote – and Dredd pursues her.

 

 

JUDGE DREDD CASE FILES 19:

INFERNO 5-6 – Long Live the Chief Judge! / Judges with Grudges (progs 846-847)

 

“Long live the new Chief Judge! Long live the Lord of Misrule!”

That’s ex-Judge Grice’s declaration of usurpation, as he usurps the position of Chief Judge in MC-1.

Of course, Dredd is having none of it – “When are you gonna get sick of the sound of your own voice, Grice? ‘Cause I’m already sick of it.”

Before we get there, episode 5 opens with the narration – “Forced out of Mega-City One by Grice and his renegades, the Judges have established a makeshift encampment in the Cursed Earth”.

By makeshift encampment, it means H-wagon parking lot – and by Cursed Earth, it means literally parking their H-wagons right outside the walls of Mega-City One.

The whole scenario is implausible, but perhaps above all that this entire epic makes it seem that the entirety of Mega-City One consists of not much more than a short stretch of the West Wall. Hence, Grice’s ridiculously small force of ex-Judges straight outta Titan in a ridiculously small flotilla of ridiculously small spaceships was able to eject all the Judges from Mega-City One – an Atlantic seaboard super-conurbation of 400 million from New Hampshire to North Carolina – and apparently to the one encampment as H-wagon parking lot outside the West Wall.

It gets worse. Dredd saves a citizen about to be randomly killed by two of Grice’s renegade Judges – and by randomly, it means because the citizen’s ‘eyes are too close together”. Really? Surely Grice’s renegade Judges have some motivation beyond terrorizing random citizens for no reason? Or at least something better to do? Like some sort of plan or orders from Grice?

After saving the citizen, Dredd directs the citizen to report to the cubes “when this is over” for doing nothing more than pleading with the renegade Judges “what do you want?” and offering them “everything I’ve got” – “I’m giving you six months for attempted bribery”. Really? They weren’t actual Judges but renegade ex-Judges and hence criminals – something Dredd is at pains to point out when the epic plays this scene again almost beat for beat a few episodes later, albeit more true to Dredd’s character dealing with the citizen he saves in that scene. Dredd wouldn’t charge a citizen being robbed by other citizens for trying to offer the robbers what they want because of their actual or threatened violence (although he might charge a citizen for flaunting wealth as enticement) – that’s essentially the nature of robbery. Of course, this is an example of how Morrison misfired with the character in this epic, essentially parodying Dredd as embodiment of the Law consistent with his catchphrase, except Dredd isn’t enforcing the Law so much as some deliberately obtuse distortion of it. And even if Dredd was obtuse enough to effectively charge victims of a crime as a party to it, it makes no sense or strategic timing for him to do so here.

Meanwhile, McGruder is being beaten up by Grice as he taunts her – “What did you think you were doing coming here, McGruder?”

Um, he has a point – what was her plan? Presumably it was offering herself up to Grice – but you’d think she planned to do so in exchange for something. You know, perhaps Grice handing over the antidote to the Judges? Or the citizens?

Anyway, Grice offers an exchange – her life for her loyalty to him, which we also saw him offer to that Judge he had dismembered by Lawmasters. Um, what was Grice’s plan here if she accepted? Which she should have – or more precisely feigned it to buy time to get the antidote or plot against Grice, hence my query what was Grice’s plan here if she accepted. Hence the query of what her plan actually was offering herself up to Grice – and what Grice’s plan was if she accepted his offer.

Fortunately for him, she neither has a plan nor accepts his offer, so instead he decides to use her for a much more dramatic and demoralizing display in the style of the Mongol conquests – which, come to think of it, his violent takeover of MC-1 resembles. Or perhaps more in the style of defenestration – except for throwing her out a high storey window, he just launches her on her Lawmaster off the Wall in full view of the aghast onlooking Judges.

Hence his declaration of usurpation. That might have been more interesting as some sort of declaration of anarchy – Lord of Misrule – or some sort of inversion in the style of a Department of Injustice, but Morrison doesn’t do much with it.

McGruder is a tough old bird – she survived injuries in the Apocalypse War, she survived her Long Walk in the Cursed Earth, and she survives this, albeit barely and with critical injuries.

And Dredd picks this moment to somehow materialize on top of the Wall for a dramatic showdown with Grice. Um – what was Dredd’s plan here, exactly? Yes, yes, it’s literally a baseball bat as we see a couple of episodes later. But what was his plan?! I’m so confused!

Anyway, it works out as well as you’d expect for him, given the showdown is only halfway through the epic. Which is to say, not too well, as Grice and his fellow renegade Judges easily best the sickened Dredd. Dredd is saved by a literal deus ex machina – well, literal ex machina anyway – in the form of Walter the Wobot, who also materializes out of nowhere, and out of a prolonged absence since his regular appearances as Dredd’s comic sidekick (which also seems misplaced here). Walter manages to get him out of the City (through some strange shafts or tunnels in or through the Wall) to the Cursed Earth – where it’s a case of out of the frying pan, into the fire as a horde of cannibal mutants attack them…

 

 

JUDGE DREDD CASE FILES 19:

INFERNO 7-8 – Death Dance! / Trial by Fire (progs 848-849)

 

“I got my plan right here!”

Okay, okay – I admit it. I can’t help but like this panel – the best of the epic – even if it doesn’t make sense.

I mean, his plan is a baseball bat?! Usually Dredd has better plans than that.

Also where did he get the bat? He literally just woke up in a makeshift hospital bed in the Justice Department encampment (where they didn’t take his helmet off).

I’m not done with the bat as his plan. Yes, yes – I know it’s Dredd announcing that he’s still in the fight (“who’s with me?”) but a literal fight? That is, a one on one, hand to hand – or rather bat to bat – smackdown with Grice? You know, the same plan as before, that saw him end up in the hospital bed, except with…a bat? You know you have a gun, don’t you, Dredd? Which if you had simply used last time you confronted him – shot first and spoke later – it would now be over. Instead, you did the whole  “I’m taking you in” routine which made no sense – as Grice even said and he had a point. And you only ended up in a hospital bed by grace of deus ex machina in the form of Walter – and Psi-Judge Janus tracking you before the mutants ate you.

Oh yeah – that’s how episode 7 opened. Dredd is about to be eaten by cannibal mutants after Walter helped him out of the city – but Psi-Judge Janus leads a team of Judges to find him and gun down the mutants. “Judge Janus picked up your psi-profile and led us to you”. Hence the hospital bed.

In the meantime, we do have some entertaining internal villain monologues from Grice, who in his usurped position of Chief Judge appears to have become completely deranged, combining the capricious psychopathy of Chief Judge Cal with the omnicidal mania of Judge Death. No, seriously – he muses happily to himself of the death of the entire population of Mega-City One – “Everyone has to die. No one is innocent” – before taking it on world tour. “And then Grice will stretch out his hand to touch and corrupt each of the great mega-cities in turn”.

I mean, replacing the eagle head with a skull on the Chief Judge uniform is something of a dead giveaway (heh).

Surprisingly, there’s only one sane man among his renegade ex-Judges trying to take him out before he kills everyone – “Grice has gone loco! He just wants to kill everythin’ now. Figger he reckons he’s Judge Death or sumthin'”. Unfortunately, he only has one flaky co-conspirator who betrays him to Grice, so Grice has him “executed” (along with the co-conspirator). By chainsaw.

I guess Dredd’s bat is looking better now…

 

 

JUDGE DREDD CASE FILES 19:

INFERNO 9-10 – Here Comes the Judge! / Girl Trouble! (progs 850-851)

 

You know I love a good panel of Dredd’s catchphrase – “I am the Law!”

Also roll credits as Grice replies – “Welcome to the Inferno, Dredd. Burn in hell!”

That’s at the end of these two episodes. Before we get there, we left episode 7 with Dredd heading off, a man with a plan with a bat in his hand, to beat up Grice.

In fairness, this time the epic does Dredd right as he saves a female elderly citizen from two renegade Judges. They were extorting fines from her under pain of execution, but as she pleads with them that she has not money, they switch to killing her as penalty “for flaunting poverty”. Although you’d think the renegade Judges, having the run of the city, could pick more lucrative targets. You know – banks, corporations, wealthier city blocks. But no – I guess street mugging it is.

At least this time there’s no nonsense from Dredd about charging the citizen. Instead he tells her – “On your way, citizen. Anyone you meet, tell ’em Judge Dredd is back!”.

Meanwhile, Grice has been busy setting his own charges – explosive charges on the Statue of Judgement. And yes – he detonates them, bringing the Statue down on top of a large section of the West Wall and tearing it down, conveniently right in front of the exiled Judges encamped outside the Wall. This becomes their cue, spurred on by exhortations from Psi-Judge Janus and Judge Hershey, to charge in and take back the city. Although – couldn’t they have just gone in with Dredd through the underground access he used? Or just flown in on the H-wagons which Hershey exhorts to get “rolling” into the city.

Somehow Bundy, the extremely butch chief henchperson of Grice, manages to find and get the jump on Dredd. Finally he uses his gun to just shoot her, as he should have done with Grice those few episodes back, albeit after the cavalry arrives in the form of Hershey and other Judges. RIP Bundy.

And that brings us to Dredd hunting out Grice for another showdown as the latter is getting started on burning down the Hall of Justice with a flamethrower, declaring there is no law – hence Dredd’s signature catchphrase. Although once again you could have just shot him, Dredd, rather than announce your presence. You’re even shown pointing your gun right at him (with Grice busy flamethrowing in another direction). It’s easy – you just did it with Bundy.

Anyway, there goes the element of surprise again as Grice turns his flamethrower on Dredd.

 

 

 

JUDGE DREDD CASE FILES 19:

INFERNO 11 – White Heat! (prog 852)

 

I’ve come to that time in my Mega-City Law recap when I play my Dredd drinking game – matching up the Case Files volume cover art with the comic panel art.

And what glorious art! By Brian Bolland of course – you can see his signature peeping out from under the 2000 AD title logo, meaning that it wasn’t the comic panel art but the comic issue cover art, Bolland’s specialty by that time.

Unfortunately – and unforgivably! – Case Files 19 does not include this cover, seemingly breaking the rule for Case Files volume covers including art from the episodes compiled in them, and usually compiling the Dredd cover art (where issues featured it as opposed to cover art for other storylines as 2000 AD is an anthology comic), typically at the end of the volume.

Worse, it was the cover for the wrong episode, symbolising what a mess this epic was. As you can see from the cover (if you zoom in), it was the cover of prog 848 – which was the seventh episode of the Inferno epic (titled Death Dance).

 

 

The cover art would actually appear to correspond to prog 852 or the epic’s 11th (and second last) episode – particularly this scene evoking the titular inferno as Dredd confronts Grice (again) while the latter is burning down the Hall of Justice with a flamethrower.

My assumption is that Bolland was given the description or draft art for this episode by inadvertence or mistake for the cover art of the earlier episode which featured nothing like this scene.

This scene also shows us how Dredd gets out of this one. He shoots the floor – for which Grice mocks him in this panel – into the flooded iso-cube cell hallway conveniently right below him, allow him to escape by swimming (and extinguishing the fire while he’s at it).

Dredd retrieves his Lawmaster and has another showdown with Grice outside the Hall of Justice. He finally just shoots at Grice, but then seems reluctant to get another shot in to finish Grice off, allowing Grice to go hand to hand with Dredd – seemingly poised to strike the final blow to Dredd…

 

 

JUDGE DREDD CASE FILES 19:

INFERNO 12 – Mortal Kombat! (prog 853)

 

Grice comes to a grisly end at the wheels of Dredd’s Lawmaster – and so too does Inferno with that Bond one-liner “What’s the matter, Grice? Feeling run down?”

If there’s a running theme (heh) to Inferno, it’s that protagonist Dredd and antagonist Grice spend too much time monologuing at each other rather than just finishing the other off or just shooting him. At least Dredd breaks the habit enough here to have his Lawmaster finish Grice off first before shooting off his one-liner.

And that pretty much wraps up Inferno, but for the usual epilogue bits. As the episode itself narrates, “Grice’s coup is collapsing” – and the coup finishes collapsing with the Judges led by Hershey regaining the city and either killing or capturing Grice’s renegade ex-Judges from Titan. And I suppose also whatever Judges defected to him in the city itself, presumably for the antidote – Grice mentions them but we never see any. What we do see is the last of them – Grice’s renegades – loaded onto a robot-crewed spaceship to be shipped right back to Titan.

Oh – and Hershey casually mentions that they won’t be able to produce enough of the antidote for all the citizens, so there’s going to be a death toll. How many? Who knows, other than Hershey quipping resyk will be working overtime and Dredd quipping back fewer citizens means less crime. It’s lazy writing. Just like we never see when or how the Judges captured the antidote from the renegade Judges – it would have been nice to feature a panel to show this, perhaps even some surrendering renegades offering it up for amnesty.

Speaking of amnesty, you didn’t think they were really shipping the renegade Judges back to Titan, did you? Where presumably they’d just escape all over again, maybe next week? Not on Dredd’s watch! Yeah…Dredd’s not doing that Batman putting the Joker back in Arkham Asylum and the whole revolving door prison thing. Instead he pushes the button and pulls a gotcha on the Titan escapees.

 

 

Nice if somewhat predictable twist but did he really have to waste the ship and robots for it, not to mention the elaborate ploy? And so Inferno ends with a bang – although really epic itself was a story not with a bang but a whimper.

 

 

JUDGE DREDD CASE FILES 19:

WAR GAMES (prog 854)

 

“Judge Dredd! For crimes against justice — you are sentenced to death!”

Finally – a bright shining light in the darkness that is Case Files 19 with my favorite episode, at least among the regular 2000 AD episodes and apart from the Megazine.

Unfortunately, it does have its problems and I’ll get to those, but they do not so much arise from the episode itself as the failure to do anything with it subsequently (and its timing as the very next episode after Inferno).

But what’s not to love about that very first panel, with our very first look at the Chinese or Sino-Cit Judges, rendered in superb art by Paul Marshall? Of course, that would be Sino-Cit 2 as Sino-Cit 1 was overrun by zombies in Judgement Day and nuked.

I mean, just look at them! Those uniforms come very close to knocking off those of the Sov Judges and Mega-City One Judges from their pedestal as my favorite. But for the fact that we don’t see them again for many episodes (as I have difficulty recalling their reappearance in the regular episodes) and then only after changing their uniforms, they might well be my favorite Judge uniforms.

I believe that they toned down the uniforms – which is frankly outrageous. If anything, they should have toned them up! But they’re perfect as they are. I note that there appears to be two regular Judge uniforms and one in a more senior or commanding position, although both uniform designs are in the red and yellow designs of the present Chinese flag.

As for the regular Judges, there’s the helmets styled in the traditional conical Asian design. The dragons as shoulder pad similar to the eagle for Mega-City One Judges. The Chinese characters which I presume to be their name, similar to the badges for Mega-City One Judges. The only issue I have is the shuriken belt buckles – which are a bit too much and also a potential source of injury.

The senior or commanding Judge has a similar coloring and design – but with some big boss shoulder pads going on and a dragon helmet. He also has skulls on his collar and badge, suggestive of perhaps a similar role to the SJS in Mega-City One, as well as a giant Chinese character on his chest.

And we’re still just in the very first panel – but I haven’t finished admiring it. You just have to love that grin on the Sino-Cit Judge on the right.

Of course, it’s the Sino-Cit Judges that are in trouble here. It’s that old adage – Dredd’s not locked in there with them, they’re locked in there with him…

 

 

“Not just Sino-Cit Judges, imperialist pig!”

Sino-Cit Judges and Sov Judges and stomm – oh my!

Yes, yes – just bask in that glory of Paul Marshall’s art in these panels from this episode, particularly as we have so few episodes like it in Case Files 19.

Despite being strapped into what appears to be an electric chair for his execution by the Sino-Cit Judges, with a leap Dredd is free! And suddenly armed with two Lawgivers to take them out instead, allowing us to get a look at the back of those Sino-Cit Judge uniforms and see they’re even cooler with the yin-yang symbols on the back.

But no sooner has Dredd escaped from the Sino-Cit Judges, calling for backup from Control (“We’ve got a nest of Sino-Cit Judges right here in Mega-City!”) then he is ambushed by a nest of Sov Judges, prompting an expletive of “stomm” from Dredd.

Or dare I say it, the stomm-bomb! So little used compared to the much more popular f-word substitute drokk. I believe stomm is the s-word equivalent. You often get a good drokk in Judge Dredd but you rarely get a good stomm. Mind you, we also get a good drokk coming up…

 

 

“You failed, Dredd! Welcome to hell!”

Sino-Cit Judges and Sov Judges and drokking hell – oh my!

Out of the frying pan, into the hellfire. The Grand Hall of Justice in flames and Dredd overwhelmed by SJS zombies.

 Just what the hell is going on?!

 

 

And it was all a dream!

Well, by dream I mean experimental psychotropic drug hallucination.

If anything, that’s even darker in some ways than the literal hellscape we saw in Dredd’s drug-fuelled nightmare vision – and as much as I love this episode, that’s where my problems with it start.

Not so much with the darkness of it – that Justice Department is prepared to resort to some extremely callous calculus from grim desperation. The callousness is obvious with the pile of poor chumps that Dredd has brutally killed in his literal drug psychosis and whom McGruder even calls “guinea pigs” – “Perps…we picked them up this afternoon — most of them minor offences but we needed some guinea pigs”.

Good Grud! Picked them up this afternoon? Minor offences?! You may have needed guinea pigs but you need them that badly and that quickly? You couldn’t have, say, used more serious offenders? You know, death row inmates – or the equivalent, as Mega-City One doesn’t have the death penalty…mostly.

Also…did they arm these chumps with, ah, spatulas or fly swatters? And I’m sure one of them just had a skateboard?  Against Dredd with a daystick and Lawgiver?!

Of course, they probably didn’t want anyone – or anything – more dangerous against Dredd, as they doped him to the eyeballs with their experimental “new aggro drug”. That’s the other part of their callous calculus here – the risk to their own Judge, let alone a Judge of the stature of Dredd, from an untested drug affecting their sensory awareness and perception, let alone doing so in some sort of extreme combat simulation to the death. What if it had incapacitated him, of itself or in combat? Not to mention they went all MK-Ultra with it – doing it without his consent or even knowledge.

It prompts to mind the official use of methylamphetamine in World War Two, originally for its perceived performance enhancement but ultimately banned for its negative effects – presumably including a deterioration of that performance (and one anticipates quite a bit of friendly fire).

But my problem is bigger than that. There’s the timing of it – literally the next episode after Inferno. What about Dredd recovering from his injuries, let alone McGruder?

However, the biggest problem is that they do exactly nothing with it – neither with its premise nor with the drug, both of which are never seen again. The premise is essentially one of grim desperation – “according to Psi-Division, there’s a crisis coming on. At our current depleted strength, we’re not strong enough to deal with it”. That crisis is further stated – or rather predicted – to be 18 months away or less, originating in the eastern blocks. “Somethin’ bad is headed this way”.

Spoiler alert – it isn’t and didn’t. While it is on brand for Psi Division to be useless as usual, that’s probably on the writers. No doubt the writing team – including Mark Millar who wrote the episode – intended and planned for something big and bad to hit Mega-City One, but they must have quietly dropped that story idea, whatever it was.

As for that drug tested on Dredd, no doubt it would have come in useful for Mega-City One’s Judges once they ironed out the kinks, not least in one of the crises that did come to Mega-City One, but again they must have quietly dropped it as story idea.

 

 

JUDGE DREDD CASE FILES 19:

JUDGE TYRANNOSAUR (prog 855)

 

“Stomping citizens is illegal, meat-mouth! You’re toast!”

You may be cool but will you ever be Judge Dredd taking out a T-rex with a flamethrower cool?

And that’s pretty much the point of this episode (which wraps up the regular 2000 AD episodes in this volume) but I’m always a fun of Jurassic Dredd – whenever dinosaurs pop up in the comic. Although by dinosaurs, let’s face it – it’s almost always tyrannosaurs. Or is that T-rexes?

There is another point of the episode – yet another episode showing Mega-City One’s citizens to be lovable idiots, although the lovable part may be an acquired taste. They’re certainly idiots – which is where the Judge Tyrannosaur of the episode title comes into play.

You guessed it – by contrived but fortuitous happenstance, a tyrannosaur that has wandered a long way from its Cursed Earth home to Mega-City One just happens to eat the right person, a perp holding Mega-City One’s “favorite granny” or oldest citizen hostage for ransom. This happens at the West Wall – the art suggests at one of the gaps still in the wall, so it may have been even more fortuitous that the tyrannosaur slipped through the gap at just the right time.

Although mind you, I’d have expected the oldest citizen to be older than 130 years in twenty-second century Mega-City One. I seem to recall body transplants in one episode.

Anyway, naturally Mega-City One’s lovable idiot citizens in the crowd hail the tyrannosaur as hero – with one oddball “Jurassic expert”, transparently named Dr Michael Crichton, lobbying for it to be made a Judge. How and why the tyrannosaur was taken inside (or further inside) the city, let alone restrained in chains, is not clear. Nor is why the Judges at the hostage situation either did it or let the citizens do it.

However, Judge Dredd is not having anything to do with this mother-drokking dinosaur in his mother-drokking city – “This nonsense has gone far enough!”

And just as well too, since that fortuitously coincides with the tyrannosaur escaping from its bounds just as the citizens were about to give it a giant Judge’s badge. It doesn’t seem to eat anyone but does stomp on the unfortunate Dr Crichton, despite him keeping still – as he tells the panicked citizens, the tyrannosaur responds to sudden movement (another nod to Jurassic Park). Hence the rebuke by Dredd to the dinosaur, before he fries it and finishes it off with a high explosive round.

As he tells the citizens, they don’t need heroes, dinosaurs or otherwise – “You citizens don’t need heroes – you already got us! Appreciate it!”

 

 

JUDGE DREDD CASE FILES 19:

THE HOTTIE HOUSE SIEGE (Meg 2.31)

The Jigsaw Murders (Meg 2.27 – 2.29)

Ladonna Fever (Meg 2.30)

 

“They practice progressive lobotomy…They have bits of their brains systematically burnt out to bring them closer to Grud. Ignorance is bliss, as they say.”

Normally I feature just one notable or standout story from the Megazine episodes in a Case Files volume, but there’s a four from this volume – one as my favorite episode in the volume, even above War Games in the regular 2000 AD episodes, and three for storylines that were to continue or recur in later regular episodes.

Of course, that might say something for the Dark Age of Dredd in the regular episodes at this time – allowing for the episodes in the Megazine, which I think were written by Judge Dredd’s best writer, John Wagner, to shine.

Although not so much in the first two storylines in the Meg – the Jigsaw Murders in the three Megazine episodes 2.27-2.29 and Ladonna Fever in Megazine 2.30.

The former is a ho-hum story about a deranged serial killer targeting a replacement arm for surgery to replaced his own amputated one but I’ll admit the latter is fun – an obvious parody of Madonna and her performances at the time. Naturally they breach Mega-City One’s public decency laws but Dredd hadn’t anticipated the city-wide riots in response to her arrest. They pull a fast one releasing her before serving her thirty year sentence – by releasing her after serving it, via some sort of “time stretcher”. Now she’d unappealingly old to the Mega-City crowds. Even better, her management contracts expired after three years – so her contracts no longer protects her records and assets are confiscated by the city. Hmm – I’m not sure it would work that way, as only Ladonna went through the time-stretcher. Interestingly, she apparently was a model citizen before her transformation into a pop star (essentially through total body plastic surgery). American actress and Madonna associate Sarah Bernhard is name-dropped for the block citi-def in which Ladonna served with exemplary record – during Necropolis or the Big Nec, which is somewhat surprising as Citi-Def resistance was omitted from the epic itself.

The Hottie House siege – an obvious satire of the Branch Davidian cult and its leader David Koresh, famously besieged by federal law enforcement at Waco in Texas – proved such a popular storyline that it was to recur in subsequent episodes. Mega-City One’s Branch Moronians – led here by David Wacovitz – were just the black comedy gift that kept on giving. A nice comic touch is the one or two members who lag behind other cult members in lobotomy and are therefore smarter. Not much smarter, of course, but enough to constantly trigger their leader David Wacovitz – although he implicitly relies on them for his plan of taking the hot dog outlet or Hottie House hostage to have any coherence or indeed purpose. Although even with those members lifting up the bell curve, the whole thing is doomed and Dredd takes out the cult single-handed.

 

 

JUDGE DREDD CASE FILES 19:

SLICK DICKENS: DRESSED TO KILL (Meg 2.34-2.35)

The Al Capone Story (Meg 2.32)

Bagging the Bagwan (Meg 2.33)

 

Judge Dredd does literary criticism!

“Thought you killed me in your last one, Kaput?…I’m giving you another five years for this pile of garbage!”

The most amusing thing about this all is that Dredd obviously read the book to pick plot points, pixie dust and all .

That book being the latest Slick Dickens book – Slick Dickens: Dressed to Kill – by Truman Kaput, an obvious play on Truman Capote. We last saw Kaput and his literary creation, sartorial hitman extraordinaire Slick Dickens, all the way back in episode 505 in Case Files Volume 10 – when Kaput found himself doing cube time for practising the crimes in his Slick Dickens book for realism. Dredd obviously read that book too (as he sentenced Kaput for practising other crimes in the book) – he’s a fan!

When he was introduced, Kaput had his literary creation kill Dredd – hence Dredd’s dry observation “Thought you killed me in your last one, Kaput?”

In these two Megazine episode, Kaput’s written a sequel – in his characteristic overblown style – in which Slick is back to finish the job, which has his fictional Dredd spooked. Well, his more fictional Dredd – as opposed to our fictional Dredd, who is less than impressed. Hence the five years Dredd adds to Kaput’s sentence – personally, I think Dredd just wants him to write another sequel and gave him the time to do it.

The preceding two Megazine episodes were also interesting but do not reflect a recurring character like Slick Dickens.

The first episode, The Al Capone Story (Megazine 2.32) features its titular protagonist growing up as a disappointment to his thuggish family – placid, good-natured and intelligence. That’s in marked contrast to Herman Schwartz, born on the same day to the next door neighbors of the Capones, and a constant terror in his delinquent behaviour, although the two boys become best friends. Capone’s father pre-empts the twist in the tale, bemoaning whether there was a mix-up at the block hospital – although Al Capone ultimately lives up to his name, imprisoned for tax fraud (albeit doing better than Schwartz, killed in a shootout with Judge Dredd on his way to arresting Capone).

People name-dropped for blocks include the mob bodyguard and successor to Capone, Frank Nitti (for the birthplace block of the two boys), gangster Joe Bananas (from Joseph Bonanno – for the block the families move to), and white collar criminal financier Michael Milken (for the block in which Capone settles down). I don’t know – it seems unlikely Justice Department would approve naming blocks for notorious twentieth century criminal figures.

The second episode, Bagging the Bagwan (Megazine 2.33) features Dredd having to protect a Dalai Lama-like figure – except less a figure of resistance and more a figure of annoying pacifist obsequiousness (his religion is named kowtowism) – from assassins hoping to claim the fifty million credit put on the Bagwan’s head by the Organization of Extremist City States. Sadly, as far as I know that organization is never featured again and we are not told anything about which cities are members of it – although they’re probably the usual suspects of villainous mega-cities in Judge Dredd.

 

 

JUDGE DREDD CASE FILES 19:

REVENGE OF THE EGGHEAD (Meg 2.36)

 

“Of course, why didn’t I think of it before! I’ll tranquillise the whole block!”

And believe me – this block needs tranquillising.

Ironically named after Kenneth Clark (albeit with misspelt surname Clarke), British art historian and TV presenter of Civilization, there’s not much civilization in this block, populated with the dregs of Mega-City One. As one of its own residents proudly proclaims, “this is a low IQ block”.

Which makes it all the more strange that Egward Shelduk, university nerd with a penchant for chemistry, lives there – but the answer is quickly revealed that it’s a Department of Housing mistake. Although to say he lives in the block is an overstatement – survives might be more accurate. And barely at that – even then it looks like he won’t last much longer.

By the way, this is it – my favorite single episode in Case Files 19. Yes – even more than War Games, because unlike War Games it actually goes somewhere, in self-contained fashion to boot. Also yes – I’m just as surprised as you are that it was not one of the regular 2000 AD episodes, usually the source of my favorite episodes, but one of the Megazine episodes. But perhaps not too surprised – this was the Dark Age of Dredd in the regular episodes after all.

My favorite Judge Dredd episodes often resemble the finest Greek tragedies. Yes – I stand by that comparison, with the common element being that the best Judge Dredd black comedy and the best Greek tragedy boil down to their tragic hero falling through no flaw or fault of their own but from being screwed over by fate. Indeed, often the tragic hero fights against their fate, only to bring it about or make it worse – the tougher they fight, the harder they fall.

Which is exactly what we see with Egward here – he tries to do everything right to peacefully avoid the relentless and violent bullying by his neighbors, only for none of it to work. We see the conga humiliation line pile-up in messages – his girlfriend leaves him a Dear John letter by video message as she can no longer see someone living in “that block” and his house loan application is turned down because his block is classified as “high risk”.

Worst of all, the Department of Housing pulls a good news bad news joke on him. The good news is that they have identified their mistake – he apparently was meant to be housed at Swingle Singers Swinging Singles – and are “rectifying their mistake immediately”. The bad news is that by immediately – or their “urgent priority” list – they mean the year after next.

The worse news is that Egward isn’t going to make it to the day after next the way he’s going, let alone the year after next. So again he does the right thing – he calls in Justice Department on his assailants. Of course, Justice Department shows up in the form of Dredd. Egward pleads with Dredd – “I don’t want any trouble – if you could just have a word with them.” Unfortunately for Egward, Dredd doesn’t do just having words with perps. Dredd arrests the family of bullies and now the whole block is out for Egward – “No judge to protect ya now, egghead!”

And that’s when Egward gets his bright idea – to tranquillise the whole block. “It’s so simple! I can make it up myself from common chemicals you’d find in any highly advanced laboratory!”. Sadly, nothing in Mega-City One is ever simple…

 

 

“Control! Med-wagons to Kenneth Clarke! We have a mass gassing!”

You sure do, Judge Dredd, you sure do. And how!

But also – and how? Well, we know the how. Block egghead Egward Selduk tranquillised the whole block. You know, to avoid being killed by the other occupants, which seems reasonable to me.

Not so much to Justice Department, who are alerted to the block being tranquillised when the crime in and around Kenneth Clarke drops to zero – “Normally we’d expect a crime every three minutes!”

Judge Dredd is called in to investigate and with the protection of his helmet respirator uncovers that everyone in Kenneth Clarke is out cold. Well, except Egward who protected himself with nose filters.

But that’s getting ahead of our story. Dredd disables the tranquilliser gas feed and the block residents awaken, in an even more violent mood than usual and ready to rumble. Or riot in this case – such that Dredd has to call in reinforcements who deploy my favorite Justice Department feature, riot foam.

And right then with the riot quelled Dredd’s off to deal with the perpetrator…

 

 

“You put the whole block to sleep, creep!”

“But that’s impossible! The – the tranquilliser wasn’t strong enough!”

“Not on its own, maybe — but combined with the tranquilliser WE pump into the block system –”

Ah yes – Mega-City One Justice Department tranquillizing its own citizens again. And yet again another citizen who discovers it – by mishap in this case – paying the price. Which for poor Egward Selduk is twenty years in the cubes.

And I for one will not stand for this – justice for Egward!

For one thing, it sounds like Justice Department should have been upping the dose. As Judge Dredd tells Egward, Justice Department’s tranquillizer was “just enough to keep them under control”. I’m not so sure about that, given that whole “crime every three minutes” thing.

For another, Egward had little choice to avoid being killed by other block residents – having tried everything else, including calling in Judge Dredd, none of which worked. He then chose a non-violent means of protecting himself – which would have worked but for Justice Department doing it first, outside his knowledge and obviously not as effectively.

And one last thing – Egward is exactly the sort of person Justice Department should be looking to enlist as a civilian auxiliary. Drokk – Justice Department in general and Judge Dredd in particularly cut deals to conscript peepers to use their spying for the city. Why not the same here? On his own and without any of the experience or resources of Justice Department, Egward tranquillised a whole block, peacefully putting it to sleep to protect himself and dropping its crime rate down to zero. Sure, the block rioted when they woke up, but you could argue that’s on Dredd for disabling the tranquillizer gas without calling in any Tek Division support or other Judges to deal with the citizens as they roused beforehand. So why not cut Egward a deal to conscript him as an auxiliary for Tek Division rather than encubement?

Although you do have to love Dredd’s wry observation at how he was able to identify Egward as the perpetrator – “No one else in the block is smart enough!”

 

 

JUDGE DREDD CASE FILES 19:

MECHANISMO – BODY COUNT (Meg 2.37 – Meg 2.43)

 

And we wrap up Case Files 19 with the ongoing Mechanismo storyline in the Megazine episodes. For me, it was more like Meh-chanismo (heh) but it had too big an impact for me to ignore in my Mega-City Law – and one that would continue for many more episodes yet. It makes quite the Megazine episode tally for Case Files 19. Normally I just feature the best Megazine episode, Revenge of the Egghead in this case (heh), but Case Files 19 had three recurring storylines which had to be featured – Slick Dickens: Dressed to Kill, Hottie House Siege, but the most important of all was Mechanismo: Body Count.

I’ll be quick about it, however, because none of the Mechanismo storyline really grabbed me – except for the climactic and fateful decision by Dredd here.

Judge Stitch – the Tek-Division Judge who masterminded the Mechanismo robot Judge project – is continuing with his insane pet project searching the sewers for his little lost robot which malfunctioned with lethal consequences, Mechanismo Number Five, having escaped psychiatric treatment to do so.

Meanwhile, Chief Judge McGruder is continuing with her pet project to fill the city’s depleted Judge ranks with robot Judges, rolling out the Mark Two models a year after the failure of the original Mark One models, not least Number Five – while Dredd continues to oppose robot Judges.

And Number Five is still out there continuing its pet project of law enforcement with ever more extreme prejudice. It’s pretty much executions all round for Number Five

McGruder conceives the perfect operational trial for the Mark Two models – search and destroy for the rogue Number Five. Dredd opposes this as well but realizes that he has only one option to prevent the Mark Two models becoming fully operational – find Number Five first.

And he does just that, tracking it through the illegal salvage crew that found and reactivated it, but unfortunately it manages to evade him into the sewers – where he, one of the Mark Two units, and Judge Stitch all converge on it. Dredd has already disabled it with a well-aimed shot and disables it further with another, but the Mark Two that destroys it despite Dredd’s order to “hold your fire!”

And that’s when Dredd does the darker side of his catchphrase by taking the law into his own hands – shooting and destroying the Mark Two unit. Dredd compounds this by exploiting the extremely impressionable state of the onlooking Judge Stitch (in his psychiatric breakdown) to effectively implant that the two robot Judges had destroyed each other.

As Dredd muses to himself – “A deception, but necessary under the circumstances. Enough to make McGruder pull back from commissioning the Mark 2s — for a while at least. Long enough to figure out how to deal with McGruder…”

And yes – you know that Dredd is just kicking the can down the road but it’s going to have some big consequences when it catches up to him, or he to it. I forget how that metaphor works. Sometimes you catch the can and sometimes the can catches you, but it’s going to have some big consequences in either case.

Top Tens – History (WW2): Top 10 Nazi-Soviet Wars / Nazi-Soviet War Iceberg (Complete)

German advances during the opening phases of Operation Barbarossa from 22 June 1941 to 25 August 1941 – public domain image map by the History Department of the US Military Academy

 

 

TOP 10 NAZI-SOVIET WARS / NAZI-SOVIET WAR ICEBERG

 

The Nazi-Soviet war – fought from commencement of Operation Barbarossa on 22 June 1941 through to German surrender on 8 May 1945 – was the top entry in my Top 10 Second World Wars.

However, the concept behind that list – one of my tongue-in-cheek top ten lists I look at a subject which has a fundamental continuity but which also can be demarcated into distinct parts in their own right – can also be applied to the Nazi-Soviet War given its primacy and scale, as I noted in its entry.

If you prefer, you can think of this as a Nazi-Soviet war iceberg meme. To be frank, it can’t be so clearly demarcated into distinct or effectively separate parts as the Second World War, given the more far-flung scale and span of the latter. The components of the conflict which I identify as ‘wars’ within it for entries in this top ten are mostly much more overlapping and difficult to separate from the conflict as a whole.

Even so, I think looking at them as separate components of or ‘wars’ within the conflict – in the form of this top ten list or iceberg – can be instructive and potentially offer new perspectives on the conflict as a whole.

However, reflecting that most of the entries are much less distinct parts of the conflict as a whole than in my Top 10 Second World Wars, this will be more one of my shallow dip top tens – with shorter entries – than the deep dive of the latter. Essentially, almost all entries have a focus on particular combatants within the war. A few entries effectively repeat entries from my Top 10 Second World Wars so will be mostly abbreviated to links or references to that top ten.

 

S-TIER (GOD TIER)

 

(1) NAZI-SOVIET WAR

 

Well, obviously. My top entry has to be the baseline of the conflict itself as a whole, which I look at in more detail as the top entry in my Top 10 Second World Wars. It might also be considered not just as a baseline but also as the superstructure of war between two ideological regimes – Nazi Germany and the Soviet Union – in the Second World War that overlaid the similar conflict between the two imperial states of Germany and Russia in the First World War.

In many ways, they were similar conflicts or even the same conflict. As German historian Fritz Fischer proposed in the so-called Fischer thesis (or Fischer controversy), Germany had the same fundamental aim in both world wars. That aim was to forge Germany as a world power (and pre-empt the rise of Russia as one) by the German domination of Europe (Mitteleuropa) and the annexation of territory, particularly from Russia itself.

The ideological conflict between the two regimes just added another layer to this German aim in both world wars – in large part heightening the brutality of the conflict (particularly towards civilians) as well as the much higher casualties of the Second World War compared to the First.

Ironically, despite their deadly ideological opposition, the two regimes had many traits in common, as indeed they were to find in their brief rapport with each other that enabled Germany to fight its British and French opponents first – and also which in effect had each regime feed off the other in developing their own regime or power.

 

A-TIER (TOP TIER)

 

(2) RUSSO-GERMAN WAR

 

Wait – what? Didn’t I just do this in my previous entry for the Nazi-Soviet war itself?

Well, not exactly. As I emphasized, that entry reflected the ideological conflict between the two regimes in the Second World War that overlaid the more traditional contest between their two states continuing on from the First. The war between Nazi Germany and the Soviet Union was both a Nazi-Soviet war and a Russo-German war, the latter with a fundamental continuity of purpose and conflict from the First World War.

It also illustrates two important distinctions, one on each side.

Firstly, on the Axis side, Germany was not the only combatant, something which seems to be often forgotten, particularly by those counting up casualties on each side to somehow demonstrate German military “excellence” or “superiority” and usually overlooking the other Axis combatants to only tally up German casualties against all Soviet casualties.

Yes – Germany may have been the predominant combatant on the Axis side, without which the other Axis combatants, with two limited exceptions, could not have fought and did not fight the Soviet Union separately, but it remains that Germany did have other Axis allies fighting alongside it. The most substantial of these essentially comprise other entries in this top ten, although that does not include more minor combatants such as Slovakia or the approximately one million or so foreign volunteers or conscripts fighting with Germany against the Soviet Union – including from the Soviet Union itself, such as dissident ethnic groups or the Russian Liberation Army under General Vlasov.

Secondly, on the Soviet side, Russia itself was only a part, albeit the most substantial part, of all Soviet forces – which also drew, often critically, on the forces from the Soviet republics other than Russia or from the ethnic groups other than Russians within the Russian republic itself.

 

(3) NAZI-SOVIET PARTISAN WAR

 

The war between Axis forces and Soviet partisans behind Axis lines deserves to be considered in the highest tier of Nazi-Soviet warfare, even if it remained subordinate to and could not have achieved victory without the primary Soviet war effort.

Although in some cases, partisans were not subordinate to the Soviet war effort, fighting both the Axis and Soviet forces in turn.

And in others, those ethnic groups or Russians that actively allied themselves with Germany against the Soviet Union as noted in my previous entry might effectively be considered partisans on the Axis side, albeit ones that did not so much fight irregular partisan warfare as such but within conventional German military forces.

 

B-TIER (HIGH TIER)

 

(4) SOVIET-JAPANESE WAR

 

Japan is one of the two limited exceptions for Germany’s Axis allies that could and did fight the Soviet Union separately from Germany, albeit not too well.

Indeed, that was the issue for Germany, that its strongest ally Japan fought its strongest enemy, the Soviet Union, entirely separately from Germany itself – before and after Germany’s own war with the Soviet Union (with the former mostly before Germany even invaded Poland to commence the war in Europe).

Hence, Japan was conspicuous in its absence from the Nazi-Soviet war, so the impact of this entry is more one of omission than commission. Not that Germany particularly sought out Japanese involvement in its war against the Soviet Union – at least not until Germany’s initial victories began to wane to the point that Germany considered it might need Japanese involvement after all, by which point it was too little too late.

Japan had signed the Japanese-Soviet Non-Aggression Pact on 13 April 1941, a little over two months before Germany invaded the Soviet Union – reflecting how little Germany had coordinated with or even informed Japan with respect to its intentions.

In large part, that reflected the defeat of the Japanese army by the Soviets in war between them in 1939 that both combatants mostly kept secret from others – a war which also underlay the Soviet reasons to divert war with Germany away by the Nazi-Soviet Pact.

Given the weakness of the Japanese army against the Soviets, particularly in mechanized and armored forces, I am not sure whether any Japanese involvement in Germany’s war against the Soviet Union would have actually made any difference to the outcome, even in 1941 when it was most optimal for Japan or Germany.

Both the Soviet-Japanese war and the war in my next entry were also entries in my Top 10 Second World Wars.

 

(5) SOVIET-FINNISH WAR – WINTER & CONTINUATION WARS

 

Finland is the other of the two limited exceptions for Germany’s Axis allies that fought the Soviet Union separately from Germany, although it was more the Soviet Union that was allied to Germany than Finland at the time of the Winter War and it was not Finland’s choice to fight the Soviets as the latter invaded Finland.

The Winter War has quite the notoriety within Second World War history, primarily for the obvious Soviet expectations of a walkover only to be undone by the Finnish underdog against the odds, although ultimately Finland had to negotiate while they still had the means to avoid worse defeat.

That prompted Finland to participate in the German invasion of the Soviet Union in what the Finns called the Continuation War to reverse the losses of the Winter War, although it tried to do so as separately from Germany as possible. Finland held itself aloof from Germany, even to the extent of identifying as co-belligerent rather than ally and not signing the Tripartite Pact. Finland also refused to advance beyond certain points and had to demobilize part of its army from economic necessity in 1942.

Finland was also the first to see the logic of German defeat if Germany could not secure a quick victory, attempting to start peace negotiations with the Soviet Union as early as autumn 1941.

As a result, both of fighting as separately as possible and following the logic of German defeat as well as its successes in its own defence and Allied sympathy, Finland alone of Germany’s allies (and Germany itself) in the wider Nazi-Soviet war avoided occupation.

As noted in my previous entry, not only were the Soviet-Japanese war and the Soviet Finnish war both those two limited exceptions to Germany’s Axis allies fighting the Soviet Union separately, but they were both also entries in my Top 10 Second World Wars.

 

(6) ROMANIAN-SOVIET WAR

 

Now we come to the first of three active Axis combatants allied with Germany against the Soviet Union that, unlike the limited exceptions of Finland in the Winter War or Japan, were obviously subordinate to the German war effort and otherwise could not or did not fight the Soviets separately.

At first glance, it is somewhat surprising that Romania was first and foremost of these Axis combatants, given that Italy was Germany’s major ally in Europe. However, the primary theater of combat for Italy was always the Mediterranean, where Romania shared a border with the Soviet Union.

Indeed, the Romanian-Soviet border was a border across which Germany had ceded territorial concessions from Romania to the Soviet Union in the Nazi-Soviet Pact – the Romanian territory of Bessarabia, to which the Soviets also added Northern Bukovina and some islands in the Danube.

It was also a border across which Germany launched a major part of Operation Barbarossa, with Romania as allied combatant against the Soviets – both on land and in naval warfare on the Black Sea. And as combatant, Romania committed more troops to the Eastern Front than all of other Germany’s allies combined – with Romania apparently having the third largest Axis army in Europe (after Germany and Italy) and fourth largest in the world (after Japan as well).

Notably, like Italy and Japan, Romania switched sides from being on the Allied side in the First World War. Indeed, Britain had extended the same guarantee it made to Poland to Romania (and Greece) on 13 April 1939, prompted by the Italian invasion of Albania – such that Romania was effectively a potential ally to Britain until joining the Axis on 23 November 1940.

Romania’s significance in the Nazi-Soviet war and indeed to Germany in the Second World War was not just its military contribution, but also (and probably even more so) its economic contribution – primarily its oil, which saw Romania bombed by the Allies in their strategic bombing offensive against Germany.

Ultimately, as the tide of war turned against Germany, the war came to Romania itself in what has been dubbed the Battle of Romania – where the Soviets defeated German and Romanian forces before Romania surrendered and defected to the Allies, declaring war against Germany after a Romanian royal coup d’etat against the fascist government of Antonescu.

As historian H.P. Willmott observed, the German Sixth Army, reconstituted after the destruction of its predecessor at Stalingrad, eerily found itself replaying that destruction – as it was encircled and destroyed for a second time by Soviet forces when Romanian resistance crumbled (as before on its flanks at Stalingrad).

Romania then committed a substantial number of troops – which suffered substantial casualties – as combatants allied with the Soviets against Germany, not that either prevented the Soviet occupation of and installation of a subordinate communist state in Romania.

 

(7) ITALIAN-SOVIET WAR

 

Not surprisingly, as Germany’s major ally and only other Axis claimant to great power status in Europe, however inflated, Italy was also an active combatant allied with Germany against the Soviet Union.

Italy initially committed an expeditionary army corps, subsequently expanded into an army, to Germany’s campaign against the Soviet Union. Both saw action in the southern part of the Eastern Front – most notoriously in the fighting around Stalingrad, where Italian forces covering the German flank at the Don River bore the full brunt of the Soviet offensive to encircle Stalingrad.

Historian H.P. Willmott observed that the Germans considered the Italians the best of their allied combatants on the Eastern Front, although the competition for that accolade was not particularly fierce.

Almost all Italian forces were withdrawn from the Nazi-Soviet war as Italy’s primary theater of operations in the Mediterranean loomed larger with the Allied threat to Italy itself. Ultimately, that saw Italy as the first of Germany’s Axis allied combatants to surrender and defect to the Allies in 1943, although even then some residual Italian forces remained in the Eastern Front (serving on behalf of Germany’s puppet government installed in Italy).

 

(8) HUNGARIAN-SOVIET WAR

 

Hungary is the last of what I identify as the substantial Axis combatants allied to and participating in the German war against the Soviet Union – the others being Finland, Romania and Italy. Bulgaria was an Axis ally of Germany, but it was a special case as it did not declare war against the Soviet Union and remained neutral in that part of the Second World War. There were other Axis combatants that fought alongside German forces against the Soviets, but they were either small – at a divisional level or so – or consisted of volunteer forces rather than official participation, or both.

Hungary is also notable enough for its own entry, as it was also the last of Germany’s Axis allies to remain allied with Germany – albeit not so much by its own choice but because it was the subject of Germany’s last successful military occupation of the war in Operation Margerethe.

As such, Hungary itself became one of the last battlefields of the Second World War in Europe, with German and Hungarian forces fighting against the Soviets there into 1945, most notably in the Siege of Budapest. While the Ardennes Offensive or Battle of the Bulge was famously the last substantial German counter-offensive of the war, Germany did launch counter-offensives after that – with the last one that could be described as major in Hungary, the Lake Balaton Offensive in an attempt to secure Germany’s last source of oil and to prevent the Soviets from advancing towards Vienna.

 

(9) SOVIET-BULGARIAN WAR

 

And now we have the first of two wars that were effectively separate from the Nazi-Soviet war but connected to it.

Bulgaria was an Axis ally of Germany but was careful not to declare war against the Soviet Union and to remain as neutral as possible in Germany’s war with it, although Bulgaria was very much involved as a Germany ally against Greece and Yugoslavia.

I say as neutral as possible because the Bulgarian navy did participate in Axis convoys in the Black Sea as well as skirmishes with the Soviet Black Sea Fleet. Bulgaria also sent delegations of high-ranking officers, including the Chief of General of the Bulgarian Army, to German-occupied territory in the Soviet Union, as demonstration of its commitment to the alliance.

However, Bulgaria’s stance of official neutrality towards the Soviets did not save them from Soviet occupation or installation of a communist government, despite Bulgaria scrambling at the last moment to declare war against Germany. The Soviet Union declared war on Bulgaria, such that on 8 September 1944 Bulgaria “was simultaneously at war with four major belligerents of the war: Germany, Britain, the USA, and the USSR”.

Of course, of those four belligerents, only one counted – the Soviet Union, which invaded Bulgaria the following day without resistance by Bulgaria.

 

(10) HUNGARIAN-ROMANIAN WAR

 

The second of two wars effectively separate from the Nazi-Soviet war but connected to it – although the term war is overstating the hostility between them, which did not break out into actual war, at least while both were allies of Germany. Cold war might be a better term.

There was a Hungarian-Romanian war but it was in the immediate aftermath of the First World War, from 13 November 1918 to 3 August 1919. Not surprisingly, Romania won, given that Hungary was one part of the dual monarchy of the Austro-Hungarian Empire that had gone down to catastrophic defeat by the Allies.

During the First World War however, it had been Romania that had gone down to catastrophic defeat on the Allied side, although it had a reversal of fortune from the final Allied victory.

That saw Romania gain the longstanding source of hostility between it and Hungary – Transylvania, which had a majority Romanian population but which had been controlled by Hungary, either as a kingdom of itself or as part of the Austro-Hungarian Empire.

Another Hungarian-Romanian war loomed as Hungary sought to reclaim Transylvania, but Germany “arbitrated” the cession by Romania to Hungary of Northern Transylvania in August 1940 – obviously favoring Hungary as an ally as opposed to a Romania that was still nominally a British ally by Britain’s military guarantee to Romania (in much the same terms as its guarantee to Poland).

Romania became a German Axis ally under the new fascist government of Antonescu on 23 November 1940 but remained hostile to Hungary, such that Romanian troops in the Soviet Union could not be stationed alongside their Hungarian counterparts for fear of them fighting each other.

Romania under Antonescu apparently considered a war with Hungary over Transylvania an inevitability after German victory over the Soviet Union. As it was, Romania got its war with Hungary as well as Northern Transylvania back – not under Antonescu or as a German ally but on the Allied side fighting alongside the Soviets against the Germans and Hungarians from September 1944.

 

Top Tens – Tropes & Other: Top 10 Stone Ages / Stone Ace Iceberg (Complete)

Gjantija Temples in Gozo, Malta, 3600-2500 BC, by Bone A and used as the feature image for Wikipedia “Stone Age” under license https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0/deed.en

 

 

TOP 10 STONE AGES / STONE AGE ICEBERG

 

It’s my Top 10 Stone Ages!

Wait – what? Wasn’t there only the one Stone Age?

Well, yes and no.

Yes, as in it’s another one of my (mostly) tongue in cheek top ten lists where I look at a subject which has a fundamental continuity or unity but which can also be broken up into distinct parts or perspectives. Alternatively, you can think of it as my Stone Age iceberg meme.

And no, as in when you have an “age” that is over 99% of human history (or more precisely prehistory) extending back 3 million years (and hence well before our present human species, homo sapiens) with a complexity and versatility to match its duration, it can readily be broken up or classified into smaller parts.

And indeed, it usually is, with one of the best known demarcations breaking it up into three parts – which account for my top three entries – albeit they are hardly equal parts with the first part as the overwhelming majority of the Stone Age.

Beyond that, I could have relied on further subdivisions of the traditional three-part division but I chose to get a little more creative instead with different perspectives to round out the balance of entries. I could also have relied on geographic divisions as the Stone Age persisted longer in different parts of the world, arguably even to what is otherwise the modern period of history elsewhere.

As such, like my other top ten lists for “ages”, this will be more one of my shallow dip top tens – with shorter entries – than my deep dive top tens on other subjects.

 

S-TIER (GOD-TIER)

 

Hunting a glyptodon – painting by Heinrich Harder c1920 (public domain image)

 

 

(1) PALEOLITHIC STONE AGE

 

The Paleolithic or Old Stone Age is indisputably first among my Top 10 Stone Ages – “as almost the entire period of human prehistoric technology”, as indeed it is of human existence, prehistoric or historic.

Its defining characteristic is the use of stone tools, extending from the first use of such tools by hominins about 3 million years ago to the end of the Pleistocene Epoch or what is more colloquially known as the Ice Age in about 12,000 BC – the Stone Age largely overlaps with the Ice Age.

The Paleolithic has a tripartite division as the Lower Paleolithic (3 million years to 300,000 years ago) marked by hominins using stone tools, the Middle Paleolithic (300,000 years ago to 50,000 years ago) marked by the evolution of anatomically modern humans (and their migration out of Africa), and the Upper Paleolithic (50,000 to 12,000 years ago) marked by the emergence of behaviourally modern humans (and their migration beyond Africa and Eurasia).

I always find it striking that the terminology of Upper to Lower Paleolithic goes from more recent to less recent – with the Lower going very low indeed to over 3 million years ago. Hence, I was tempted to coin the term Deep Stone Age, but it is essentially synonymous with the Lower Paleolithic. As I noted in my introduction, I was also tempted to use each of these subdivisions – Upper, Middle, and Lower Paleolithic – as entries in this top ten but considered I should be more creative.

However, that terminology would match up with the Stone Age as iceberg meme, moving from upper to lower with the latter indeed proportionate to the 90% or so proportion of an iceberg under the surface that is the premise of the iceberg meme. Arguably a true Stone Age iceberg should do the same, in terms of going deeper into what I dubbed the Deep Stone Age, but I’ve inverted it with the Paleolithic on top to reflect its prominence rather than depth of time.

 

RATING:

S-TIER (GOD-TIER – OR IS THAT STONE-TIER?)

 

Map of the world showing approximate centres of origin of agriculture and its spread in prehistory: eastern USA (4000-3000 BP), Central Mexico (5000-4000 BP), Northern South America (5000-4000 BP), sub-Saharan Africa (5000-4000 BP, exact location unknown), the Fertile Crescent (11000 BP), the Yangtze and Yellow River basins (9000 BP) and the New Guinea Highlands (9000-6000 BP) by Joe Roe for Wikipedia “Neolithic” licensed under https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/deed.en

 

 

(2) NEOLITHIC STONE AGE

 

The New Stone Age to the Paleolithic’s Old Stone Age and equally indisputable as second among my Top 10 Stone Ages, except perhaps to dispute that its more dramatic developments – often characterized as the Neolithic Revolution – are such that it eclipses the Paleolithic. Certainly, without it the subsequent balance of human history would not have occurred as it did, and we’d all still be in our happy hunting grounds.

It varies by geographical location but generally is considered to commence in 10,000 BC or so (in the ancient Near East) and continued to the development of metallurgy, variously from 4,500 BC in the ancient Near East to 2,000 BC in China.

“This ‘Neolithic package’ included the introduction of farming, domestication of animals, and change from a hunter-gatherer lifestyle to one of settlement”.

 

(3) MESOLITHIC STONE AGE

 

Sigh – I suppose I have to count it in god-tier as part of the iconic tripartite division of the Stone Age but I don’t really believe in the Mesolithic as the amorphous period of transition between the Paleolithic and Neolithic, even if that period was generally millennia and varied by location.

I like my Stone Age as twofold division of Paleolithic and Neolithic, Old Stone Age and New Old Age. Apparently, I’m not the only one – the term was controversial for that reason upon its introduction in the nineteenth century but has subsequently been considered a useful concept.

The term Epipaleolithic is sometimes substituted, particularly for the prehistoric Near East.

 

 

 

Close-up of Stonehenge (public domain image)

 

 

(4) MEGALITHIC STONE AGE

 

Yes, I’ve coined the term Megalithic Stone Age because I love megaliths – “a megalith is a large stone that has been used to construct a prehistoric structure or monument, either alone or together with other stones”, such as a standing stone or stone circle respectively as at everyone’s favorite megalithic site, Stonehenge.

Of course, the Megalithic Stone Age is mostly synonymous with the Neolithic – corresponding to settled agricultural communities having the necessary resources for moving large stones around the place – although “earlier Mesolithic examples are known” and they continued to be erected in the Bronze Age (including as I understand it, some of the phases of construction at Stonehenge).

“There are over 35,000 structures in Europe alone, located widely from Sweden to the Mediterranean”.

 

 

(5) MICROLITHIC STONE AGE

 

From one end of the scale to the other – from megaliths to microliths, I bring you the Microlithic Stone Age!

And no – sadly, that doesn’t mean there’s a tiny Stonehenge out there. “A microlith is a small stone tool, usually made of flint or chert and typically a centimetre or so in length and half a centimetre wide…were used in spear points and arrowheads”.

Microliths point to a greater sophistication of stone tools characteristic of the Upper Paleolithic and Mesolithic or even Neolithic, although they generally declined with the introduction of agriculture (as their predominant use was for hunting weapons).

 

(6) GOLDEN STONE AGE

 

Paleo paradise!

Or Neolithic mommy utopia?

“Man was born free and everywhere he is in chains!”

It’s the Golden Stone Age – that recurring rosy-eyed view of the Stone Age or at least our primal past as Garden of Eden, from which it’s all been downhill for humanity afterwards.

No, seriously – I may be caricaturing it somewhat but there has indeed been recurring claims or theories of the Stone Age as ideal or idealized state of humanity, although they differ widely in detail and intellectual rigor (or elements of truth).

There’s probably enough for their own top ten but perhaps the most famous is the French philosopher Rousseau’s state of nature, itself preceded by the longstanding European concept of the noble savage.

Throw in notions of a peaceful prehistory, environmental harmony, Neolithic matriarchy, Marxist primitive communism, Marshall Sahlin’s Stone Age Economics or Original Affluent Society, anarcho-primitivism or so on and you’ve got yourself a heady if eclectic brew.

However, one thing such claims of the Golden Stone Age have in common, consistent with the Stone Age as Garden of Eden, is a fall – although where that fall, well, falls differs on the details where they place the Garden.

A commonly argued one is the horizon between the Paleolithic and Neolithic – with the advent of agriculture, and even more so the state as it moved into the Bronze Age. Personally, I like to see the fall argued in the other direction, with the fall of homo sapiens from Neanderthal paradise or a hominin Garden of Eden. Or to borrow from the words of Grant Morrison writing for the Animal Man comic – “We should never have come down from the trees. We’ve fallen so far and there’s still no bottom”.

 

(7) DARK STONE AGE

 

“The life of man…solitary, poor, nasty, brutish and short”.

Bellum omnium contra omnes – “the war of all against all” or Hobbesian state of nature.

It’s the Dark Stone Age, the competing contention to the Golden Stone Age – although I am inclined to believe that the real Stone Age had elements of both.

Claims or theories of the Dark Stone Age are perhaps not quite as varied as those of the Golden Stone Age, with a focus on violence. English philosopher Thomas Hobbes famously proposed that the original “state of nature” of humanity was inherently violent – the war of all against all in which “the life of man” is “solitary, poor, nasty, brutish and short”.

That proposal of violent prehistory continues – it essentially boils down to those who argue for prehistoric war and violence, potentially at even higher rates than those in recorded history (at least as supported by evidence of violent deaths), against those who argue for more peaceful prehistory. I tend towards the former, influenced by books such as Azar Gat’s War and Human Civilization.

 

B-TIER (HIGH TIER)

 

 

(8) ICE STONE AGE

 

We hunted the mammoth!

As I stated in my top entry for the Paleolithic, the Ice Age is the Stone Age – or rather, the most recent period of glaciation or Pleistocene Epoch, the Ice Age of popular imagination and culture, almost entirely overlaps with the Paleolithic Stone Age.

I have only the most superficial knowledge of human evolution, so I sometimes wonder how much the evolution of hominins depended on the impact of Pleistocene climate changes on Africa – or the evolution of our hominin species, homo sapiens, which occurred entirely within the Pleistocene, or its migration from Africa, similarly depended on that impact.

For that matter, the Stone Age of popular imagination and culture seems predominated by that of Paleolithic homo sapiens – and Neanderthals – in glacial or sub-glacial Europe, perhaps due to the striking imagery of Pleistocene megafauna and the cave art in Europe depicting it.

 

 

(9) FIRE STONE AGE

 

It’s always struck me that no matter how much stone technology was instrumental for or definitive of this period, the Stone Age is something of a misnomer because the truly impactful and game-changing technology was not stone but fire.

Claims for the control of fire by hominins extends almost as far back as that for stone tools or the Stone Age – potentially as early as 1.7 to 2 million years ago.

I’m tempted to substitute the term Cooked Stone Age as opposed to the preceding Raw Stone Age. Certainly, French anthropologist Claude Levi-Strauss might have agreed with me on that one, given his book The Raw and the Cooked.

But seriously, although the use of fire was not limited to cooking, its use in cooking dramatically changed human food habits – allowing for a much wider range of food, particularly allowing a significant increase in meat consumption, to the extent of biological changes such as smaller teeth and digestive traits.

 

 

(10) MARITIME STONE AGE

 

There’s the Aquatic Ape Hypothesis or Theory, proposing that the ancestors of modern humans diverged from the other great apes by adapting to an aquatic lifestyle.

That hypothesis or theory is highly contested, such that it is generally dismissed by anthropologists or other scholars of human evolution. The true aquatic watershed (heh) of human history might be described as the Maritime Stone Age – for the development of watercraft to allow humans or hominins to conquer the seas and other bodies of water. Indeed, that might date back before homo sapiens to homo erectus, with claims the latter used rafts or similar watercraft to cross straits between landmasses or to islands as early as a million years ago.

The Maritime Stone Age might also be characterized by the migration of humans beyond the African and Eurasian continents to the Americas and Oceania, whether following coastlines of land bridges or island-hopping. For the latter, the maritime achievements of Austronesian expansion and Polynesian navigation used functionally Stone Age technology.

For this concept of the Maritime Stone Age, I was tempted to substitute the Exolithic or Xenolithic – to describe those societies with functionally Stone Age technology, usually tribal hunter-gatherers, that persisted elsewhere as other societies developed into the Bronze Age or beyond, even into the modern period.