Dovahhatty – Unbiased History of Rome XVII: Imperial Wrath
(9) WORST: CONSTANTINE II –
CONSTANTINIAN DYNASTY
(337 – 340: 2 YEARS 7 MONTHS)
A whiny little toad, who couldn’t even get usurping his gay younger brother right and got pawned instead.
Letting his father’s name down, Constantine II spent his time whining that he didn’t get more than the western third of empire he got in 337 AD as one of three brothers because he was the eldest.
He was of course fine with his brother Constantius – the one who actually got things done – doing the dirty work of whittling down their father’s male relatives in what is known as the massacre of the princes so the three brothers could inherit their father’s empire. He just thought he was entitled to more of it. Constans got the central third, including Italy, while Constantius got the eastern third – you know, the third fighting the Persian Sassanids.
And so Constantine bullied his younger brother and ward Constans as an easy target – Constans also being targeted for ‘indulging’ “in great vices” and ‘scandalous behaviour’ with “handsome barbarian hostages” or his select bodyguard. The Romans were not exactly progressive about these things, particularly when it suited them for political accusations.
And yes – I said ward, because Constantius had designated Constantine II the guardian of Constans until Constans came of age.
So Constantine II bullied Constans into giving him part of Africa but squabbled over Constans retaining Carthage, refused to relinquish his guardianship when Constans turned eighteen, and just tried to usurp Constans instead, marching into Italy with his troops in 340 AD.
Only to be ambushed and killed by the forces of Constans – not even by Constans or his main forces, but by a detachment of troops Constans sent ahead of himself and his main forces while taking care of imperial business in Dacia, fighting actual enemies of Rome.
Congratulations, Constantine II – you played yourself.
Constans then got his brother’s third of the empire, consisting of Hispania, Gaul and Britain.
RATING: 1 STAR*
D-TIER (BAD TIER)
MAXIMUS:
Yeah, right.
DEIFICATION
One hopes not. I haven’t seen any reference to his deification.
EMPIRE DEBASER
I’ve gone with empire debaser for him – it can’t be said that he broke or debauched the empire, but I think it can be said he debased it. His father had fought to unify the empire and eliminate usurpers – only for Constantine II and his brothers to divide it, compounded by him trying to usurp his brother’s realm – preempting the successful usurpation of Constans by Magnentius a decade later.
SPECTRUM RANKING COMPARISON:
Spectrum ranks him even lower, the fourth worst Roman emperor before 395 AD (although that may drop down two places to sixth worst if we included the rankings from the western Roman empire, two of which definitely rank lower).
Dovahhatty ranks him as a virgin, as in my feature image.