Top Tens – Film: Top 10 Films (4) Clint Eastwood – The Man with No Name & Dirty Harry

Perhaps the most iconic image of Clint Eastwood as Dirty Harry

 

(4) CLINT EASTWOOD –

THE MAN WITH NO NAME & DIRTY HARRY

 

Ask yourself a question: “do I feel lucky?” Well, do you, punk?

You had me at Clint Eastwood.

No, seriously – I could just stop there, with one of the foremost icons of screen masculinity.

As per TV Tropes in rating him the trope Rated M for Manly – “The 6’4, gravel-voiced, ultra-macho action star Clint Eastwood is one of the most enduring cultural icons of masculinity in the history of American cinema and beyond.”

Although my quip for his vocal delivery is one of whispered menace. The above description also omits his signature steely gaze or glare – the latter lending itself to TV Tropes coining the trope Clint squint. Not to mention a certain wiry quality to him, even grizzled, if not both.

However, it doesn’t stop there. There are his two most iconic characters, who also happen to be two of the most iconic characters in cinema – the Man with No Name from the so-called Dollars Trilogy or even The Man with No Name Trilogy, most famously the third film of the trilogy, and Dirty Harry.

Again as per TV Tropes, Eastwood is “most famous for portraying tough-as-nails gunslingers who speak very little, and make each word (and bullet) count. The two most famous roles of this kind are Dirty Harry, and the Man With No Name in Sergio Leone’s Dollar’s Trilogy.”

The Man with No Name came first – in the cinematic trilogy of Westerns directed by Sergio Leone, labelled as the subgenre of Spaghetti Westerns because they were produced by Italian film studios and Italian directors in the case of Leone. The trilogy itself consists of A Fistful of Dollars, For a Few Dollars More, and the best (as well as most famous) of them, The Good, the Bad and the Ugly.

Of course, the Man with No Name has a name in each film – Joe, Manco, and Blondie respectively – but they are nicknames given him by other characters. There is only a loose continuity, if any, between each film, such that it’s not clear that he’s even the same character. I prefer to think of each film as more within a mythology than a continuity – and the Man with No Name a different incarnation of a mythic character in each film.

And that mythic character – the lone gunman, with “his aloof nature, questionable motives, and his mysterious past”, not to mention his laconic persona.

“There are two kinds of people in this world – those with loaded guns and those who dig. You dig”.

Personally, I’d say that Eastwood played the type in almost all his Western roles – he was the Man with No Name even when his character was named, from Pale Rider through to Unforgiven. And I am here for each and every one of them.

But I am here for his Dirty Harry over and above his Man with No Name. In part, that is due to the eclipse of the Western as a film genre, although I would argue that most films are essentially Westerns in all but setting, as reflected by the Dirty Harry films themselves with its anti-hero gunslinger protagonist transferred from the Wild West to the urban landscape (which, being San Francisco is still in the geographic American West).

Or as TV Tropes labels the character type, the Cowboy Cop – “a blunt, cynical, “the buck stops here” kind of law enforcer who’s constantly at odds with his indifferent, incompetent, strictly-by-the-book superiors”.

And, I would argue, an instinct for justice as an essential character type – and one that is often at odds with (and usually played as superior to) the letter of the law.

Not to mention his most iconic character trait – well, apart from his Smith & Wesson Model 29 .44 magnum revolver (“We’re not just going to let you walk out of here.” “Who’s we, sucker?” “Smith, Wesson and me”) – his one-liners, “(like the Pre Ass Kicking One-Liner, Pre-Mortem One-Liner, or just the generic “I’m so badass”-One-Liner).” They’re so good I’m fond of adapting them to my work.

Hence TV Tropes attributes to Eastwood that “his Influence on the movie industry was such that without him (or his Dirty Harry library, to be more specific) the ‘80s would have seen about a mere fourth of the action movies it actually did see.”

Some of you may also recognize the “thematically similar'” influence of Eastwood in general and Dirty Harry in particular on someone who just happens to be my favorite comics character and protagonist of my favorite comic – Judge Dredd. Judge Dredd is essentially a futuristic Dirty Harry in a dystopian SF satire. The character was also directly modelled on Eastwood – something to which we see paid tribute in the name of Judge Dredd’s block from Eastwood’s character in the Western TV series, Rawhide – Rowdy Yates.

Which makes Dredd one of two characters from the 2000AD anthology comic modelled on Eastwood and his two iconic characters – with Strontium Dog’s Johnny Alpha as the Man with No Name to Dredd’s Dirty Harry.

So yes – if I had to choose, I would pick Dirty Harry over The Man with No Name. And if I had to choose which Dirty Harry, well the first one with that title obviously – not just for the title but also for the most compelling presentation of Dirty Harry having to break the rules to apprehend the antagonist serial killer Scorpio.

 

FANTASY & SF

Yeah – The Man with No Name and Dirty Harry are pretty solidly grounded outside fantasy or SF, although some of his Western incarnations of the type border on fantasy, particularly Pale Rider with its revenant protagonist.

 

COMEDY

Well there’s those one-liners, although I wouldn’t really describe them or the films as comedic, even if they have their dry and wry moments of black humor.

 

RATING: 4 STARS****

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Mega-City Law – Top 10 Judge Dredd Epics & Episodes: Arcs

 

Counting down my Top 10 Judge Dredd epics and episodes – essentially as a running list updated as I finish each volume of the collected Judge Dredd Complete Case Files in my ongoing Mega-City Law reviews (presently up to Case Files 18).

I distinguish between epics and episodes – with epics as longer storylines over a five or more episodes. However, that still leaves a distinction for me with respect to episodes – episodes that encapsulate their storylines within the single episode as opposed to those that have a longer story arc over 2-4 episodes (with four episodes being perhaps the most common standard for such arcs).

That is because there seems to be a distinction between the art of telling a story within a few episodes and telling it in only one – a mere six pages or so at that! I tend to admire the art involved in the latter more – but some of the stories in the Judge Dredd comic I have enjoyed the most or which had the most impact on me are those stories of potentially epic proportions yet encapsulated in only a few episodes. In short – literally (heh) – behold the arcs of Judge Dredd! These are my top ten arcs  or storylines of 2-4 episodes.

 

 

(10) INNOCENTS ABROAD

(CASE FILES 18: progs 804-807 – 4 episodes))

 

“Go to Mega-City One…bring back them O’Dilligan brother hallions”

 

That pretty much sums up the post-heist shenanigans of Innocents Abroad. That and “a couple of Emerald Isle scumbags are on the run in the Big Meg”.

 

Essentially the reverse of the Emerald Isle arc, except now Judge Dredd escorting Irish Judge Joyce around Mega-City One to retrieve two Irish perps – the Sons of Erin they ain’t.

 

It’s a good romp – a bit of a Lock, Stock & Two Smoking Barrels vibe to it before that film’s time – essentially involving three Emerald Isle elements on collision course.

 

The first of those elements is Judge Joyce, assigned the mission because of his previous involvement with Dredd back in the Emerald Isle arc in Case Files 15. Sadly, Joyce is not having the luck of the Irish – the running gag of this arc with Joyce as butt of the joke, and after all that work writer Garth Ennis put into boosting up Joyce, his own creation hailing from his homeland, into something more than a joke character in Judgement Day…only to return to Joyce as the butt of the gag here.

 

The second of the elements is Mickah O’Dilligan, Emerald Isle boyo made good in the Big Meg. If by good you mean running an Irish club as cover for his “shady little racket” – and looking down the barrel of McSod’s Syndrome, one to add to the list of diseases you do NOT want to get in MC-1. The good news – it can be completely cured. The bad news – that cure is literally gold.

 

Enter the luck of the Irish with the third element – his prodigal brothers Paddy and Francie O’Dilligan on the lam from the Emerald Isle who just happened to rob a bank of the gold their brother Mickah needs right now, if only they can avoid the heat to retrieve it from its hiding place…

 

RATING: 4 STARS****

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(9) BILL BAILEY, WON’T YOU PLEASE COME HOME

(CASE FILES 15: progs 723-726 – 4 episodes)

 

It’s a pity these guys didn’t pop up during Necropolis when they could have been genuine heroes.

One of my favorite storylines over four episodes – I guess I just have a soft spot for lost legions. In this case the lost legion is a Citi-Def unit that literally went underground during the Apocalypse War when their block, Bill Bailey presumably named for the British comedian, was destroyed – and comes out swinging against the Sovs nine years later or so. Except of course there are no Sovs, as Mega-City One won the Apocalypse War, so they’re just committing random acts of terrorism against their own city.

As I said, it’s a pity these guys didn’t pop up just a little earlier during Necropolis – when they could have been genuine resistance against the Dark Judges. They may have initially thought they were fighting the Sovs and their puppet Mega-City One Judges, but the latter was not too different from the Judges as puppets of the Dark Judges – and they would have soon adapted after realizing the situation, albeit they may have assumed the Dark Judges have simply taken over after the Sov victory.

Sadly, these guys are just too unlucky for that and the storyline does resemble a comedy of errors, with one bad luck pile-up after another to stop them realizing that Mega-City One is not Sov-occupied, or at least to avoid their last stand shootout with Mega-City One Judges, even with Judge Dredd doing his best to, well, bring Bill Bailey back home.

So a comedy of errors but also tragedy of errors, as the storyline has some surprisingly effective pathos. I dare anyone to remain unmoved as the unit defiantly sings their block anthem before going over the top – both in First World War parlance and the slang of extreme reaction – one last time to their doom.

 

RATING: 4 STARS****

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(8) BOB & CAROL & TED & RINGO

(CASE FILES 7: progs 346-349 – 4 episodes)

 

Judge Dredd does Jurassic Park: The Lost World!

Like that film, this time the dinosaurs are coming (from Sauron Valley in the Cursed Earth) to Mega-City One. They’re essentially part of a Jurassic Park-style circus, but of course the titular four carnivores escape (with the help of a strangely empathic caretaker robot) to wreak havoc in the city. And that’s the plot of this four episode mini-epic in a nutshell.

And we get it right from the opening panel, narrated as the Parade of the Century – “the day Irrawaddy Skinner led his monsters in from Sauron Valley”. Oh – how the Cursed Earth has fallen from the days of the Cursed Earth epic, where it was virtual suicide to cross it by land, let alone all the way to Sauron Valley and back again. Or to travel around it in some sort of dinosaur circus, as this episode implies Skinner does – and riding the tyrannosaur Bob, no less. Of course, that would make me feel safer, from everything else but the tyrannosaur itself. His control over it is explained by reference to a Skinner box, itself a play on controversial American psychologist B.F. Skinner and his conditioning chamber or Skinner Box. In this case, it’s some sort of electrical shock collar – which begs the question of how Skinner installed it on his dinosaurs and trained them using it. One suspects he must have got the dinosaurs as eggs or hatchlings.

The storyline then uses the plot device of Mega-City One wildlife expert, David Baloney – a play on British nature documentary television presenter David Bellamy – to explain the origin of the dinosaurs. And it’s essentially Jurassic Park (pre-dating it – where’s the check, Jurassic Park), except the dinosaur theme parks (plural!) were on the American mainland and the dinosaurs were set loose by the Atomic Wars. (One would have thought the Atomic Wars would rival the asteroid as an extinction event for them but now you know better).

The dinosaur exhibition is basically a big dinosaur zoo, with cages to match, and we’re introduced to our titular carnivorous dinosaurs through the labels on the cages – Bob the tyrannosaurus rex, Carol the tyrannosaurus rex, Ted the allosaurus and Ringo as the runt deinonychus of the litter.

Unfortunately, while the herbivorous dinosaurs are docile in captivity, the carnivorous dinosaurs just aren’t adapting themselves to captivity (which just raises even more questions about that Skinner box) and slowly killing themselves resisting it (injuring themselves against the bars and so on). Caretaker robot Granville takes pity on them for their plight, but his protests to Skinner falls on deaf ears – as Skinner callously tells Granville there’s more where they came from. Although the carnivores have adapted enough at least to sense that Granville is their friend when he tends to their self-inflicted wounds (it probably helps that he’s not made of tasty flesh), Anyway, it’s too much for Granville, who decides to help them to, well, run away FROM the circus…

Needless to say, it all goes horribly wrong.

 

RATING: 4 STARS****

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(7) PIRATES OF THE BLACK ATLANTIC

(CASE FILES 4: progs 198-201 – 4 episodes)

 

Judge Dredd does Pirates of the Caribbean! Literally, as in mutant submarine pirates (or are they?) operating out of an underwater sea fortress in the Caribbean. There’s even a version of the Kraken. Where’s the check, Disney?

Anyway, even as another ‘mini-epic’ entry, Pirates of the Black Atlantic had a significance extending beyond its four episode story arc and its mutant pirates to foreshadowing the escalation of conflict with Mega-City One’s most persistent adversaries, the Sov-Judges of East Mega-City One…

 

RATING: 4 STARS****

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(6) BLOOD OF SATANUS
(CASE FILES 3: progs 152-154 – 3 episodes)

These episodes feature a little spot of horror, a genre that recurs surprisingly often in Judge Dredd.

Satanus is back!

Well, not quite – just his blood. Remember Satanus, the tyrannosaur from the Cursed Earth when Judge Dredd did Jurassic Park? Quick recap – the Judge Dredd storyline did genetically recreated dinosaurs before Jurassic Park and they still roam the Cursed Earth. The biggest and baddest of them all was Satanus, the black tyrannosaur – who survived his encounter with Judge Dredd (after Judge Dredd survived his encounter with Satanus).

Satanus himself doesn’t return – he went on to haunt humanity’s galactic empire in the far future through time travel and alien warlocks in Nemesis – but his blood returns to haunt Judge Dredd in Mega-City One. Of course, his blood doesn’t have a mind of its own or cross the Cursed Earth to Mega-City One – a genetic research laboratory in Mega-City One has some of the original “plasma based secretion” taken from Satanus when he was still in Dinosaur National Park, from which potentially “a new tyrannosaur can be grown”. Fortunately, “the Judges have banned such experiments as being too dangerous”. Unfortunately, disgruntled laboratory assistant Cyril Ratfinkle sees the potential for his own dangerous experiment, posing the question what would happen if someone drank the tyrannosaur blood?

If you think probably nothing (other than perhaps some food poisoning or similar reaction), then clearly you are not familiar with science in comics. Of course, Satanus’ blood has mutagenic properties, capable of transforming people into tyrannosaur-like creatures, because Satanus just oozes evil tyrannosaur-ness. It’s the tyrannosaur version of the elixir in Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.

And so Ratfinkle does David in Prometheus before Prometheus, stealing the plasma so he can slip it into someone’s drink like David did with the black goo. He drills a hole in his floor to the apartment below him, which fortuitously lines up perfectly with the exact position and opportunity to drip plasma into the wine glass behind the back of his unfortunate neighbor Rex. (Get it – tyrannosaurus…Rex?)

The next day, Rex expresses his concern to his wife Lynsey about the new black scales on his stomach. Unfortunately, “some days later”, Rex also expresses his concern about his worsening rash when he bumps into Ratfinkle, who exploits the opportunity to lie that his laboratory is working on a cure for this new virus and offers Rex free medicine. No prizes for guessing what that medicine is…

Yes – it’s more of the blood. After several doses of the “medicine”, Rex is thickly scaled and develops a taste for raw meat, “red and dripping”, much to the alarm of his wife – and much to the delight of Ratfinkle observing through the spyhole above, that “on day twelve of the experiment…the metamorphosis of man into tyrannosaur is imminent”. Enough of his humanity remains for Rex to exhort Lynsey to leave the apartment – “Get out before it’s too late!” – when she discovers him building a nest of their furniture and chowing down on another neighbor’s pet.

Lynsey contacts Judge Dredd but unfortunately he’s busy dealing with a “crazy punk”. However, Dredd remains troubled by Lynsey’s message, but unfortunately she did not leave any address. Even more unfortunately, she has returned to her address, where the tyrannosaur-thing that was her husband waits hungrily – and strangely, still wearing shorts, like the Hulk, with the same artistic concern for modesty.

And so Rex spontaneously divorces Lynsey by devouring her, due to their irreconcilable differences that he is now homo tyrannosaurus – as Ratfinkle gloats through his spyhole at the success of his experiment, although he soon receives his poetic justice as just dessert for Rex as the latter sniffs him out.

Well, it wasn’t a total loss as Ratfinkle left the “tapes” of his experimental notes behind – allowing Dredd to identify that Mega-City One has a man-beast on the loose. Meanwhile, Rex has reverted to his human state, but Dredd apprehends him just as his attempted suicide causes him to transform into the tyrannosaur again – because the beast within won’t let him kill himself. The tyrannosaurus Rex (heh) attacks Dredd and things look grim as the beast is poised to devour Dredd (while choking him with its strangely prehensile tail). Fortunately of course, Dredd has been in a similar spot with the original Satanus, so escaping this beast’s grasp is easy in comparison. (He cuts the tail with his trusty boot knife). Dredd pursues the beast into the slum area of ‘Old New York’, where it reverts to Rex again – but Dredd lures out the beast once more by the scent of his own blood (by cutting his hand) and shoots it. As it dies, the beast reverts into Rex once more, thanking Dredd for restoring his humanity – “You may have taken my life – but you have saved my soul!”

And Dredd’s dry reply – “Just routine, citizen”.

RATING: 4 STARS****
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(5) NOSFERATU
(CASE FILES 9: progs 430-433 – 4 episodes)

The Judge Dredd comic introduced vampires into its world in the City of the Damned Epic in Volume 8, but that might readily have seen them become a one-off feature. After all, the vampires in that epic were the Judges from the future 2120 timeline transformed into vampires by the uniquely powerful psi ability of the mutated Owen Krysler or Judge Child.

However, Volume 9 reintroduced vampires as a recurring and surprisingly regular feature in the mini-epic Nosferatu – continuing the vein of the nominally post-apocalyptic or dystopian SF Judge Dredd as a regular fantasy kitchen sink, where any genre trope from SF, fantasy or horror was up for grabs. Of course, the title was a dead giveaway, a word popularized by Bram Stoker purportedly as a Romanian name for vampire, but in fairness the vampire here had an SF rather than supernatural twist – an alien spider-vampire, albeit a shape-changing one.

RATING: 4 STARS****
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(4) SHANTY TOWN
(CASE FILES 6: progs 300-303 – 4 episodes)

Ah – Shanty Town! Or Judge Dredd does Helm’s Deep (or the film Zulu)

Shanty Town looms large for me among Judge Dredd episodes. For one thing, it’s a storyline very much told in the shadow of the Apocalypse War, as the titular Shanty Town is some weird refugee residue from that war just beyond the outskirts of Mega-City One (although it’s a little unclear how it came into being and persisted outside the attention of Mega-City One’s Judges).

For another – and more fundamentally – it has always been a classic Judge Dredd story for me. Judge Dredd – and the Mega-City One Judges (including Hershey) who accompany him to enforce the Law in Shanty Town – are at their most classic characterization. Damn they make those Mega-City One Judges tough.

It is also a classic Judge Dredd action plot – in this case similar to those heavily outnumbered heroic last stands we see in war films, although of course here Dredd and his fellow Judges (although not all of them) prevail by force of sheer guts and toughness as well as their superior firepower, experience and training.

Shanty Town is introduced in the first few pages as a lawless – indeed literally beyond the Law – makeshift but vast “conglomeration containing the flotsam and jetsam of the Apocalypse War”. Well, not literally flotsam or jetsam, since that refers to debris in water, and Shanty Town is very much on land beyond the west wall of Mega-City One, but you get the idea. It also consists of more than a million refugees – presumably originating from the millions we saw flee the city during the Apocalypse War – lorded over by crime gangs. How exactly the refugees subsist is not clear – since most shanty towns eke out their economic survival from the cities of which they are part or attached – but it is clear how the crime gangs subsist, off the backs of the refugees. Literally in some cases, as they harvest them for organ smuggling, to which has recently been added smuggling live merchandise or babies. Which is how Shanty Town provokes the attention of Judge Dredd, as he comes across a baby being smuggled into Mega-City One.

And so Dredd gets authority from Chief Judge McGruder to “clean up Shanty Town” – to which end she orders him “choose a squad and take whatever action you deem necessary”. Finally, the Law comes to Shanty Town – as Dredd and his squad (on Lawmaster bikes) ride into it and nail their notices up:

“Justice Department be warned. This habitation now comes under the jurisdiction of the law of Mega-City One. All lawbreakers will be punished accordingly. By order – Dredd”

Of course, Shanty Town has its own way of biting back hard – hence the epic battle that is the climax of the storyline.

RATING: 4 STARS****
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(3) THE BLACK PLAGUE

(CASE FILES 3: progs 140-143 – 4 episodes)

 

Judge Dredd gets spider-iffic in The Black Plague – and there’s a spider invasion of Mega-City One!

 

Actually, Dredd gets spider-iffic surprisingly often, although usually not on this scale – typically in the form of some sort of mutant or mutants, courtesy of the Cursed Earth, that endless source of mutant weirdness. In this case, it’s a mega-swarm of billions of Cursed Earth spiders – which would be bad enough in itself, but you know if anything comes from the Cursed Earth, it’s usually highly toxic as well, and these spiders are no exception.

 

This storyline of four episodes also sees one of my favorite minor characters (although unfortunately we never see him again after it) – the carnivorous talking mutant horse jokingly named Henry Ford. Carnivorous, intelligent (with quite the wise-cracking personality) and the ability to talk – that’s one hell of a mutation, but who cares? He’s just too much damn fun.

 

RATING: 4 STARS****

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(2) FATHER EARTH

(CASE FILES 3: progs 122-125 – 4 episodes)

 

The Father Earth storyline was the first of the recurring incursions into Mega-City One from the Cursed Earth, that post-apocalyptic mutated wasteland that was the United States.

Setting aside a previous minor incursion in the nature of a raid by the mutant Brotherhood of Darkness, this is the first incursion on a major scale – particularly as earlier mutant raiders preceded the city wall built by Chief Judge Cal.

This particular incursion is led by the messianic mutant Father Earth, apocalyptic eco-terrorist and walking embodiment of flower power (as plants literally bloom from him). Father Earth is accompanied by his groupies, who seem surprisingly attractive for inhabitants of the Cursed Earth (much like Immortan Joe’s supermodel “wives” in Mad Max: Fury Road).

More ominously, he has his mutant army 10,000 strong or so, with his revolutionary vanguard of the Doomsday Dogs – and doomsday is what Father Earth preaches for Mega-City One. Father Earth has a dream – and that dream is the total destruction of Mega-City One, returning it to nature (such as it is in the Cursed Earth).

 

RATING: 4 STARS****

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(1) MONKEY BUSINESS AT THE CHARLES DARWIN BLOCK

(CASE FILES 4: progs 184-185 – 2 episodes)

 

This two-episode story features one of my classic Dredd favorites, in which Dredd arrests the origin of the species. Literally.

Set in one of the most aptly and conveniently named blocks in Mega-City One history – “Mega-City One had seen some strange disasters, but none so bizarre as the day evolution ran wild – and a whole city block became…the naked jungle”.

Well not so much evolution but devolution. It starts with Professor E. Northcote Fribb, who has just “isolated an enzyme which can reverse the process of evolution” – because, uh, science! However, for someone who is intelligent enough to succeed in such an unprecedented discovery, he is remarkably stupid in taking no basic precautions – or indeed, outright sniffing his test tube (which smells rather like spaghetti sauce). The scent immediately starts to devolve him. Worse, he drops the enzyme on the floor and ventilation spreads it throughout the block, devolving the rest of its population into hominids or ape-like primates, even Judges sent in without respirators.

Dredd of course figures out it’s an airborne contaminant and heads into the block to root out the source of contamination – quickly identified to be the block’s notoriously mad professor on the 66th floor. Dredd slowly makes his way through the apes of wrath to the 66th floor, impeded somewhat as the apes set fire to the building in an inversion of that black monolith from 2001: A Space Odyssey. As he nears that floor, the devolution has, ah, regressed further from ape-like primates to “lower animal stages”, from recognizably mammalian to unrecognizably reptilian on the 66th floor itself…

Behold the origin of the species – as in the professor’s unit 66C itself, the professor has kept devolving right back past any vertebrate ancestry to its starting point. As Dredd exclaims (after the usual “Drokk!” of course), it’s “some kind of giant amoeba”.

Eww! And why does it still have eyes?! Kill it with fire! Not the amoeba, but the de-evolutionary enzyme – as Dredd instructs the fire-fighting crews to eliminate any trace of it. As for the now protoplasmic perpetrator, Dredd arrests him or it of course, presumably to do a few billion years in an iso-cube to evolve back to humanity.

 

RATING: 5 STARS*****

S-TIER (GOD TIER – OR IS THAT DARWIN-TIER?)

 

 

 

MEGA-CITY LAW:

TOP 10 JUDGE DREDD EPICS & EPISODES – ARCS (TIER LIST)

 

S-TIER (GOD TIER)

(1) MONKEY BUSINESS AT CHARLES DARWIN BLOCK

 

A-TIER (TOP TIER)

(2) FATHER EARTH

(3) THE BLACK PLAGUE

(4) SHANTY TOWN

(5) NOSFERATU

 

B-TIER (HIGH TIER)

(6) THE BLOOD OF SATANUS

(7) PIRATES OF THE BLACK ATLANTIC

(8) BOB & CAROL & TED & RINGO

(9) BILL BAILEY, WON’T YOU PLEASE COME HOME?

 

X-TIER (WILD TIER)

(10) MUZAK KILLER

Top Tens – Film: Top 10 Films (5) Bruce Lee – Enter the Dragon

Bruce Lee in his iconic pose from Enter the Dragon

 

(5) BRUCE LEE –

ENTER THE DRAGON (1973)

 

“Don’t think. Feel.”

The iconic martial arts action film by the iconic martial arts action film star.

And yes – the film may be somewhat cheesy at points, albeit not more so than other films in the 70s and which may also owe something to how much this film has blurred together with its superb parody A Fistful of Yen in the 1977 comedy sketch film Kentucky Fried Movie deep within my psyche. (The other thing deeply embedded in my psyche from that film is the sketch Catholic High School Girls in Trouble – “never has the beauty of the sexual act been so crassly exploited”).

But it is glorious, showcasing Bruce Lee – “the quintessential martial arts film star, particularly for action films set in contemporary times, a breakthrough star for Asian actors in Hollywood and widely considered one of the most influential martial artists of the 20th century”.

So deeply has it embedded itself in my psyche that it has fostered a love of martial arts action films ever since – which I then consciously or subconsciously compare to Enter the Dragon. And for that matter a love of martial arts film stars ever since, particularly east Asian martial arts film stars. Indeed, this entry is intended to be representative of martial arts action films (and film stars) in general.

As per TV Tropes, it is the martial arts action trope codifier – “since this movie, almost every other work of martial arts tournament fiction has borrowed from Enter The Dragon, particularly its usage of the main hero seeking revenge against the Big Bad in a fighting tournament in a faraway exotic location full of colorful villains and other supporting heroes with their own personal motives for entering”.

Of course, the whole concept of the martial arts tournament doesn’t hold up too well as a vanity project by a criminal organization – given the potential for exposing and jeopardizing the organization, at least to the very infiltration that is the plot of the film.

Nor for that matter does a criminal organization relying on training masses of minions in martial arts – another visually iconic element of martial arts films, moving and shouting in unison – instead of, you know, guns.

Finally, I have to give a chef’s kiss to yet another iconic element of martial arts films codified – the climactic showdown between protagonist and antagonist, strikingly displayed here in a mirrored maze.

 

FANTASY & SF

Not really here, but there’s always been a fine line between martial arts action films and fantasy in the mystical skill (or visions) of combatants – something which things like wuxia films and animated or anime series cross over. Not to mention the space Shaolin monks of Star Wars…

 

COMEDY

It has its comedic elements, albeit not as prominent as other martial arts action films – notably those of Jackie Chan (who had a minor role in Enter the Dragon). It certainly has its comedic elements after you’ve seen A Fistful of Yen – such that you’ll never watch it in quite the same straight-faced fashion again – and it has been repeatedly parodied elsewhere.

 

RATING: 4 STARS****

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Top Tens – Film: Top 10 Films (6) James Bond

The iconic James Bond gun barrel opening sequence

 

(6) JAMES BOND (1962 – PRESENT)

 

“Bond, James Bond”

A spy action film franchise that needs little more than its iconic protagonist’s own signature introduction.

Well, perhaps a little more introduction – James Bond codenamed 007 as British special agent of the 00 section of MI-6 (the 00 signifying licence to kill), created by Ian Fleming as protagonist of the books (and stories) that were the origin of the franchise.

There’s enough in the franchise not only for a top ten Bond films and special mentions (or alternatively a top ten worst Bond films) – twenty-seven films and counting as at 2024 – but also easily for a top ten elements or motifs of Bond mythos.

The Bond girls. The Bond villains – and their infamous flaws of monologuing (to Bond) or just not shooting Bond as opposed to convoluted death traps or schemes. (To borrow a quote from Family Guy – “Sure, you could kill me with your gun but are you willing to try something much more elaborate and unnecessary?”)

The Bond gadgets. The Bond cars. The Bond one-liners. The Bond action prologue – introduced with the Bond gun barrel sequence and concluding with the Bond title sequence (and song). The exotic Bond globetrotting. Shaken not stirred – Bond’s drinking habits and games of chance or skill. (I seem to recall that Fleming was also fond of sumptuous descriptions of Bond’s dining or food although that hasn’t been adapted as much into film).

The Bond secondary cast from MI-6 – M, Q and Moneypenny. Recurring Bond characters (or actors) in general. Bond’s allies – perhaps foremost among them his CIA contact Felix Leiter. For that matter, typically a climactic Bond action sequence with special forces allied to Bond assaulting the villain’s forces or lair – even IN SPACE!

Heck – you could just squeeze out enough James Bonds for a top ten James Bonds, with six actors having official portrayed the character and a seventh signed up. Yes – I know that leaves three short but in addition to counting Sean Connery at least twice (at least once more in addition to his original run for the unofficial Never Say Never and arguably also for Diamonds are Forever as yet another separate incarnation in the role), there’s also Barry Nelson and David Niven in different adaptations of Casino Royale.

At very least you could compile a top ten of his incredibly versatile proficiencies or skills, and for that matter his character traits or types. As per TV Tropes – “the Ace, the Charmer, the Deadpan Snarker, the Renaissance Man, the Man of Wealth and Taste, the One-Man Army, the Professional Killer, the Sociopathic Hero, the Alcoholic, the Orphan, and the man who can always find women but can never find love. Which of these traits are pushed to the forefront will depend on the tone of the movie in question.”

And that’s not to mention all the inspirations for and adaptations, imitations or parodies of the character, enough for their own top ten (and more) – in turn reflecting Bond himself “having become one of the most iconic and quintessential action heroes in fiction”, founding the “tuxedo and martini subgenre” while defining “most of modern spy fiction and much of the action genre”.

Dare I describe the Bond film franchise as the Roman Empire of film franchises, with its various rises and resurgences or declines and falls?

Playing with that, the first Sean Connery films would be the classical empire of the first and second centuries – at its archetypal height but not without its excesses.

George Lazenby (and Diamonds are Forever) might be likened to Rome in crisis after its classical zenith, although this is unfair not only to Lazenby’s performance but even more so his film On His Majesty’s Secret Service – which is a fine Bond film, with some of the finest elements of any Bond film. (Its Bond girl for one thing and its banging theme tune for another).

The early Roger Moore films would be the resurgent later empire after the crisis of the third century, before devolving into the campy later Roger Moore films in the decline and fall of that half of the franchise. Timothy Dalton and the early Pierce Brosnan films might be likened to the eastern empire, a little rough around the edges to start after the fall of the Moore franchise before their own resurgence – but collapsing with the later Brosnan films on a camp scale almost to the point of the later Moore films.

The Daniel Craig films would be the eastern empire bouncing back to its medieval heights, with a blunter and tougher protagonist (Bond the Bulgar Slayer, anyone?) before crumbling in turn.

Which brings me to the question of which Bond film to choose, if I have to choose one film above all others in this entry – it was a close call with Casino Royale, but I’d have to go with Goldfinger as the archetypal or definitive Bond film. Even if, much like Indiana Jones in the Raiders of the Lost Ark film, Bond doesn’t actually do anything in it to achieve the final result.

 

FANTASY & SF

 

No fantasy in Bond – other than the obvious lifestyle or wish fulfilment fantasy of its protagonist for Fleming and countless male fans since.

However, it does verge into SF territory in its technothriller edges – perhaps most notably in the Bond space adventures of You Only Live Twice and Moonraker

 

COMEDY

 

Do I need to mention those Bond one-liners again? Although the James Bond film franchise has always walked the line between its more serious dramatic elements and tendencies to camp humor bordering on self-parody – falling over that line in the later Moore and later Brosnan films.

 

RATING: 4 STARS****

A-TIER (TOP TIER)

Top Tens – TV: Top 10 Animated Series

 

Iconic image of two of the most iconic animated characters – Wile E Coyote and Roadrunner

 

I’ll be blunt – my favorite TV series are always animated TV series. It was that way when I was a child, watching animated series for children, and now it is that way as an adult, watching animated series for adults.

Hence, my top animated TV series would also tend to be my top TV series in general – as well as ones that I can (and do) watch repeatedly. I look forward to new series or seasons of my favorite series. And whatever the animated series, whether for children or adults, I’ll usually enjoy checking it out, for an episode or so – or at least a trailer or review.

That said, like my Top 10 TV lists in general, my Top 10 Animated TV list is more fluid than most. The top one or two entries may be set in stone, at least for the next few years, but there tends to be a high turnover of entries below them as I tend to turn older entries into special mentions and replace them with new entries at a high rate.

Note also that while I dabble in anime on occasion, it’s nowhere near the extent to which I watch ‘western’ animation on TV – and I keep it to its own separate top ten.

 

 

 

Promotional poster art

 

 

(10) BLUE EYE SAMURAI
(2023 – PRESENT: SEASON 1)

 

Who doesn’t like a roaring rampage of revenge?

I liked it as film with Kill Bill. I liked it as (live action) TV series with My Name. And I like it here as animated TV series with Blue Eye Samurai.

So now I have a holy trinity of roaring rampages of revenge. Well, those and John Wick, but John Wick is more my Hail Mary (or Ave Maria) of roaring rampages of revenge. (And yes – that’s a somewhat lapsed Catholic joke about squeezing in a fourth person when you already have three people in a trinity, particularly when that fourth person has their own complicated mythos going on).

Kill Bill even used the phrase – its protagonist Bride stating that she “went on what the movie advertisements refer to as a roaring rampage of revenge” (which Tarantino characteristically borrowed from the tagline to a 1972 film Bury Me an Angel).

Interestingly, all my holy trinity are either east Asian (My Name is Korean) or a fusion of east Asian and Western popular culture. Japanese and Korean film or TV are growing influences in Western popular culture – and they certainly do roaring rampages of revenge well.

This animated series is set in the seventeenth century Japanese shogunate that had isolated itself from the world, in what is called the Edo period, albeit a somewhat alternate historical version given some of the plot details or events.

That makes life even more difficult for our protagonist, the titular blue eye samurai – whose blue eyes immediately mark mixed-race ancestry. That’s on top of another problem for the protagonist in sixteenth century Japanese society, which is something of a spoiler, albeit one easy to guess by the voice (and voice actor) and soon revealed in any event.

Which makes for yet another interesting characteristic of my holy trinity of roaring rampages of revenge – the sex of their protagonist. It’s also interesting to compare the different sources for the roaring rampage of revenge in each case – the Bride is seeking to avenge herself on her ex-lover, the protagonist in My Name is seeking to avenge her father, and the Blue Eye Samurai is seeking to avenge herself on her father.

Its standout feature – consistently noted by reviewers – is “its breathtaking animation quality” and never more so than for its exquisitely crafted fight scenes. Our Blue Eye Samurai is almost supernaturally skilled with a blade (consistent with just a hint of fantasy to the series) but does take a beating from time to time. It’s not just the fight scenes – it’s the visual attention to detail with character and background design.

It’s also not just the visual quality, as important as that is to animation. It has a compelling storyline, with twists and turns, as well as immersion into its setting. And it’s not just the Blue Eye Samurai whose story is engaging – almost every other character, major and minor, including the adversaries or antagonists, are also engaging or intriguing, boosted by the stellar voice cast.

 

RATING: X-TIER
(WILD TIER)

 

Promotional poster art

 

 

 

(9) ARCANE
(2021 – PRESENT: SEASON 1)

 

Well – this was a revelation!

Firstly, I had known going in that this was set in the League of Legends universe, so I had those old video game adaptation blues – those (low) expectations that media adapted from video games are generally…disappointing at best. Even more so as I don’t play the game and had little knowledge of it apart from (ahem) looking up its female characters from their art and cosplay. But this series appealed, even to a casual viewer such as myself with little knowledge of the game.

Secondly, this is how you do diversity – not as a substitution for story or to deflect criticism (always something of a warning sign when something promotes itself for its diversity instead of, you know, a story) but as an organic part of the story (and which makes sense on that basis). Take note, Rings of Power – if you had wanted to do diversity right, perhaps you should have chosen a setting like this one, a multicultural urban fantasy setting.

But then my general rule of thumb is that animated series consistently outshine live action series in quality, particularly when it comes to fantasy or SF.

As for the premise – “Amidst the escalating unrest between the rich, utopian city of Piltover and its seedy, oppressed underbelly of Zaun, sisters Vi and Jinx find themselves on opposing sides of a brewing conflict over clashing convictions and arcane technologies”.

Its first season “was released to critical acclaim, with praise directed at its animation, story, worldbuilding, action sequences, characters, emotional weight, music, and voice acting”. ‘Nuff said, but the highlights for me, characteristically for an animated series, were the animation and action sequences.

A second season is on the way – which is just as well as the first season ended on a cliffhanger…

 

RATING: 4 STARS****
B-TIER (HIGH TIER)

 

Yes – it’s that girl from The Witness, one of the episodes from the first season.

 

 

(8) LOVE DEATH + ROBOTS
(2019 – PRESENT: SEASONS 1-3)

 

“Heavy Metal for millennials”

Love, Death, and Robots is an adult – very adult (or perhaps adolescent) – experimental animated SF and fantasy anthology series on Netflix produced by Tim Miller and David Fincher.

And it is very much an anthology series – consisting of stand-alone or self-contained episodes, usually 10-20 minutes (with the occasional shorter episodes) and produced by different casts and crews in different styles. It’s genre-bending (and blending) between science fiction, fantasy and horror, although leaning towards science fiction (particularly cyberpunk) – hence the robots of the title. Episodes tend toward the themes of – well – love, death and robots, albeit the former two are very broad (and often leaning more towards sex and violence). Most of them are adaptions of short stories from notable SF (or fantasy) writers – including Peter F. Hamilton, John Scalzi, Alastair Reynolds and Joe Lansdale.

And the tagline comes from its – ah – heavy influence or inspiration from the comic / magazine Heavy Metal, which highlighted original science fiction stories and art, mixed in with erotica, and the “raunchy, absurd 1981 film of the same name which took viewers a step beyond science fiction.”

As an anthology, it’s something of a mixed bag, but there’s bound to be something you like by way of “a striking or exciting style of animation” or “a genuinely shocking twist”.

 

RATING: 4 STARS****
B-TIER (HIGH TIER)

 

Season 1 promotional poster art

 

(7) PRIMAL
(2019 – PRESENT: SEASONS 1-2)

Spear and Fang – a Neanderthal and his tyrannosaur. Or is that a tyrannosaur and her Neanderthal?

Those names – Spear and Fang – are never given in the episodes themselves, which are a marvel of mute mood, only in the titles or credits. Mute in that Spear, our Neanderthal protagonist, does not speak any language as such – although he can be very vocal in grunts or bellows and is otherwise extremely expressive in face and body language. Fang, the tyrannosaur is no slouch in expression either. Primal’s creator, Genndy Tartakovksy, is famous for being light on dialog in his work, but in Primal he has achieved an animated masterpiece with no dialog.

The unlikely but powerful bond between Spear and Fang is the beating heart of the series – unlikely in that it arises in very particular circumstances and endures beyond them, but of course in the context of our world where they are tens of million years apart. It soon becomes apparent that, while the creatures of Primal seem drawn (heh) from models in our own, that this is not our world as we knew it – as the waning age of dinosaurs seemingly overlaps much more with the rising age of mammals. And oh boy – how they are drawn, with lush beautiful animation particularly for its creatures and their landscapes, as well as evocative music or sound.

The world of Primal diverges even more from our own as it becomes an increasingly fantastic setting, dramatically so from episode 4 Terror Under the Blood Red Moon or episode 5 Rage of the Ape Men (with its heartbreaking cliffhanger climax).

In my opinion, this leads to the three episodes that are my personal highlights of the first season – with Spear and Fang facing off against, and typically having little choice but to flee from, their most dangerous and fantastic opponents in sequences of genuine horror or terror. A plague zombie dinosaur in episode 7 Plague of Madness, dark magic in episode 8 Coven of the Damned, and a mysterious invisible creature that seemingly kills for sport in episode 9 The Night Feeder.

However, the most dramatic change of all occurs in its final episode of the first season, when the world of Primal changes radically again to something very different from all preceding episodes – as we see in the second season.

RATING: 4 STARS****
B-TIER (HIGH TIER)

 

Scene from Season 1

 

 

(6) THE DRAGON PRINCE
(2018 – PRESENT: SEASONS 1-5)

 

If this series seems similar to Avatar: The Last Airbender, that’s because it was created for Netflix by Aaron Eshaz, head writer and director of that series (with Giancarlo Volpe as executive producer, who also worked with Eshaz on Avatar).

The series is similarly set in a fantasy world, albeit more medieval than Avatar’s steampunk (and whatever punk Korra was), with similar elemental magic – not Avatar’s four classical elements (air, earth, fire and water) but the ‘primal’ elements of Sun, Moon, Stars, Earth, Sky and Ocean (with cool names such as the Moonshadow Elves, Sunfire Elves and Startouch Elves as the elves for some of those elements).

Humans…don’t fare quite so well with magic – having been driven by the elves and dragons to the other end of the continent of Xadia for the use of the only magic available to humans, life-draining dark magic. Humanity established the five human kingdoms on the other side of so-called Breach between the magical races and non-magical humans – a border formerly guarded by the dragon king. However, war looms after humans killed the dragon king – and apparently his egg, or the titular dragon prince. Elven assassins attack one of the human kingdoms, but one of the assassins allies herself with the human princes when the egg is revealed to have been stolen rather than destroyed – and similarly to Avatar, she and the human princes are the focus of a quest to restore the dragon prince to the dragons for peace rather than war.

The animation was a little uneven in the first season, but the showrunners improved it in the second season – and the narrative beats became more compelling in the latter (although that slows down somewhat in subsequent seasons). The Dragon Prince is influenced by Avatar in all the best ways – and you just might find it scratching the itch left by the finale of Avatar.

Also – take note, Rings of Power once again, this is how you do diversity in a fantasy setting, African elves and all.

 

RATING: 4 STARS****
B-TIER (HIGH-TIER)

 

Season 1 promotional art

 

 

(5) THE LEGEND OF VOX MACHINA
(2022 – PRESENT: SEASONS 1-2)

 

“We’re Vox Machina – we f**k sh*t up!”

Yes – it’s Dungeons & Dragons, the animated adaptation of the first campaign of Critical Role, a weekly web video of voice actors playing the game. And it would seem surprisingly effective condensing the story out of what is presumably much messier game play. Let’s just say the alignments tend towards chaotic

So yes – it features its ensemble cast as a classic D & D adventuring party: ax-crazy goliath barbarian Grog, insecure half-elf druid Keyleth, aristocratic human gunslinger Percy, brash gnome cleric Pike, snarky half-elf twins ranger Vex and rogue Vax, and of course everyone’s favorite lecherous comic relief, gnome bard Scanlon.

Because everyone loves bards! Does anyone not play bards as lovable sex maniacs? I’m pretty sure it’s a class feature

The first season also featured a superb antagonist necromancer-vampire duo in Sylas and Delilah Blackwood, the latter voiced by Grey DeLisle, who always does good villainess voice.

And again – Rings of Power take note this is how you do it…

 

RATING: 4 STARS****
A-TIER (TOP TIER)

 

Season 1 promotional art

 

 

(4) INVINCIBLE
(2021 – PRESENT: SEASONS 1-2)

 

“Look what they need to mimic a fraction of our power!”

Beware the Superman!

It often seems that the deconstruction of superheroes – particularly along the lines of the trope beware the superman – is more popular these days than the more straightforward narratives of them as heroic figures.

Certainly that seems to be the case for two of the most popular series on Amazon Prime – live-action series The Boys, and this animated series, each adapted from a comic of the same name. In the case of Invincible, it was adapted from a comic series that ran from 2003 to 2018, by none other than Robert Kirkman of The Walking Dead fame – although I prefer Invincible, both for the comic and its adaptation. For that matter, I tend to prefer Invincible to The Boys for the breadth and depth of its superhero universe, which features a more DC or Marvel style universe with aliens, parallel dimensions and supernatural beings – although usually with a twist in the tropes.

We are introduced to the titular superhero as Mark Grayson, pretty much your typical high school student, except that he is the son of Omni-Man, the most powerful superhero on the planet – and just maturing into his own superhero powers, inherited from his father.

And that’s where things start to get complicated, as he quickly learns there is much more to this world than meets the eye – with some jaw-dropping twists and turns along the way, particularly concerning his own father – including a season finale montage which indicates things are just starting to heat up for Invincible.

The animated adaptation has an all-star voice cast, most notably with J.K. Simmons as its Superman character, Omni-Man (or Nolan Grayson as he is in his everyday suburban life).

 

RATING: 4 STARS****
A-TIER (TOP TIER)

 

Scene from first episode Season 1

 

 

(3) HARLEY QUINN
(2019-PRESENT: SEASONS 1-4)

 

“No way! It’s got comedy, action, incredibly gratuitous violence, and unlike that Deadpool cartoon, it’s actually coming out!”

Now this is how you do Harley Quinn! (Well that and The Suicide Squad film – the one by James Gunn in 2021, not the other one).

Harley Quinn has split off from the Joker and aspires to become the criminal queenpin of Gotham with best friend Poison Ivy and a motley crew of henchmen – Doctor Psycho, Clayface and King Shark. Of course, setting out to become queenpin isn’t going to be easy – but it does make for a fun f-bomb-dropping adult animated series that is by turns “crude, raunchy, violent and completely shameless about all of it”, not to mention a blackly comic parody of the DC comics and cinematic universes.

Add in a stellar voice cast (led by Kaley Cuoco, who voices Harley Quinn to perfection matched only by Margot Robbie in hot pants) and you’ve got a winning formula, particularly in its “grasp of what makes its titular antiheroine so beloved”. As per Caroline Framke of Variety – “Most importantly, Harley gets to be an entire person all her own, as heartbreakingly naive as she is wickedly strange and funny”. It also demonstrates that she’s more than just eye candy – although she plays that to her advantage – but also surprisingly effective in combat and crime with her gymnastic ability, as well as smart and indeed insightful into her own state of mind (when she chooses to be).

 

RATING: 4 STARS****
A-TIER (TOP-TIER)

 

Season 2 promotional art

 

 

(2) RICK AND MORTY
(2013 – PRESENT: SEASONS 1-7)

 

“SHUT UP AND LISTEN TO ME!! It’s fine! Everything is fine! There’s an infinite number of realities, Morty! And a few dozen of those, I got lucky and turned everything back to normal! I just had to find one of those realities in which we also happen to both die around this time. Now we can just slip into the place of our dead selves in this reality, and everything’ll be fine. We’re not skipping a beat, Morty. Now help me with these bodies”.

As its second place entry indicates, Rick & Morty is the best animated series bar one, ever since its premiere in 2013 – “If you haven’t watched Rick and Morty, a cartoon about the adventures of a mad scientist and his hapless grandson, teleport to the nearest screen and shove every episode into your eyes as soon as possible.”

Rick and Morty was inspired by Back to the Future, if Doc Brown was a caustic alcoholic sociopath and Marty his ever more progressively traumatized grandson – and instead of travelling through time, they hop dimensions throughout the multiverse. It plays with, parodies, satirizes, subverts and deconstructs tropes across the range of popular science fiction and fantasy.

The focus is of course on the titular characters (both of whom voiced by co-creator Justin Roiland) and their bizarre misadventures – as mad scientist (and maternal grandfather) Rick Sanchez constantly pulls Morty Smith, a hapless high school student (whom Roiland voices with the perfect distressed wail), and increasingly, Morty’s older sister Summer, out of their normal lives to go on abstract trips across the multiverse for purposes that are never usually expressed. However, the rest of the Smith family is also comedy gold – particularly Morty’s harried and insecure father Jerry (perfectly voiced by Chris Parnell), who is also increasingly (and often unwillingly) dragged into the duo’s adventures. As such, the general formula consists of the juxtaposition of two conflicting scenarios – the intergalactic or interdimensional adventures of the eponymous duo, intercut with family drama. (Co-creator Dan Harmon has referred to it as a cross between The Simpsons and Futurama, balancing family life with heavy science fiction). At the center of it all is Rick, who drinks and behaves like a jerk most of the time – although he has saved the Earth at least once by getting schwifty.

 

RATING: 5 STARS*****
S-TIER (GOD-TIER)

 

Promotional art referencing perhaps the titular protagonist’s most iconic phrase (ahem – phrasing!)

 

 

(1) ARCHER
(2009 – 2023: SEASONS 1-14)

 

“Every single noun and verb in that sentence totally arouses me!”

Indeed, as does every episode of my favorite animated TV series Archer, still running strong from its debut in 2009. Although perhaps a more descriptive tagline might be that used by TV Tropes from this exchange between the titular character, Sterling Mallory Archer (codenamed Duchess) and his mother:

“Most secret agents don’t tell every harlot from here to Hanoi that they are a secret agent!”

“Then why be one?”

Aptly described as James Bond meets Arrested Development, the series is about the title protagonist, a dysfunctional spy, working for a dysfunctional spy agency headed by his mother, in which virtually everyone and everything is dysfunctional. Even the time setting of the series is dysfunctional – it is “comically anachronistic, deliberately mixing technology, clothing styles and historical backdrops of different decades”, not to mention the Soviet Union. (“How are you a superpower?”):

“What year is this?”
“I know, right?”

Archer has a reputation, certainly in his own mind, as the world’s most dangerous spy – and he might well be, but for his negligence or incompetence fuelled by one of his many vices and his tendency to remain oblivious to everything but himself. “His primary interest in the job is the opportunity to enjoy a jet-setting lifestyle full of sex, alcohol, thrills, lacrosse, fast cars, designer clothing, and spy gadgets” – hence, my adoption of him as my spirit animal. (After all, who doesn’t want to go on a cobra whiskey bender in Thailand?)

However, he is proficient in field work or stereotypical spy skills – weapons (including an uncanny ability to keep track of every shot fired), combat and driving – although in large part this is driven by the complete lack of any sense of his own mortality or ability to take situations seriously (accompanied by a childlike or adolescent delight in them).

Archer is one of the few (or perhaps only) animated series I recommend to people who are not otherwise a fan of animated series, because in style (including its realistic art style) resembles a live action series – indeed, with a few cosmetic changes, it could be a live-action series. (Well, if only H. Jon Benjamin resembled the appearance of Archer as well as providing his voice – man, I love his voice!). It certainly is a series that improves with watching it (in sequence) over time – as TV Tropes notes, the series’ humor “relies heavily on call backs and running gags alongside a large ensemble cast”, many of whom are recurring and as much a source of character humor as Archer himself.

 

RATING: 5 STARS*****
S-TIER (GOD-TIER)

 

 

 

 

TV – ANIMATION: TOP 10 (TIER LIST)

 

S-TIER (GOD-TIER)

(1) ARCHER (2009-2023: SEASONS 1-14)
(2) RICK & MORTY (2013-PRESENT: SEASONS 1-7)

If Archer is my Old Testament of TV animation, Rick and Morty is my New Testament.

And as an exception to the rule of the highly fluid nature of my TV top tens, Archer has good prospects of enduring in top spot (and my interest) beyond its peak quality and final Season 14, particularly as it’s a series I rewatch with pleasure. And after all, Archer is my spirit animal!

 

A-TIER (TOP-TIER)

(3) HARLEY QUINN (2019 – PRESENT: SEASONS 1-4)
(4) INVINCIBLE (2021 – PRESENT: SEASONS 1-2)
(5) VOX MACHINA (2022 – PRESENT: SEASONS 1-2)

 

B-TIER (HIGH TIER)

(6) THE DRAGON PRINCE (2018 – PRESENT: SEASONS 1-5)
(7) PRIMAL (2019 – PRESENT: SEASONS 1-2)
(8) LOVE DEATH + ROBOTS (2019 – PRESENT: SEASONS 1-3)
(9) ARCANE (2021 – PRESENT: SEASON 1)

 

X-TIER (WILD TIER)

(10) BLUE EYE SAMURAI (2023 – PRESENT: SEASON 1)

 

 

 

 

 

 

Friday Night Funk – Top 10 Music (Mojo & Funk): (10) Doja Cat – Paint the Town Red

Clip from the official video

 

TOP 10 MUSIC (MOJO & FUNK):

(10) DOJA CAT – PAINT THE TOWN RED (2023)

 

“I let all that get to my head

I don’t care, I paint the town red (walk on by)

Mm, she the devil

She a bad lil’ b*tch, she a rebel (walk on by)”

 

What can I say – it’s all in the sample and I just can’t, well, walk on by that sample of Dionne Warwick’s 1964 song “Walk on By”.

 

Also my usual rule for my wildcard tenth place is to award it for the best entry from the current or previous year – and Amala Ratna Zandile Diamini a.k.a. Doja Cat wins my favorite funky song from 2023, albeit narrowly beating out Rita Ora’s “Praising You” and Coi Leray “Players”. (Very narrowly for the latter as it samples one of my funk favorites – Grandmaster Flash & The Furious Five “The Message”).

 

And who’s going to argue with the nation of Australia, at least as far as it came in first place in their hottest 100 for 2023 (by Triple J radio as part of Australia’s Broadcasting Corporation)? Or whatever the hell – literally – is going on in the video for the song…?

 

Apparently in the boom bap subgenre, the lead single from her fourth album “Scarlet” and her most successful song to date – it’s “backed by a bouncy production that sees Doja Cat rapping over a subtle brassy, finger snap-laden beat”.

 

RATING: 4 STARS****

X-TIER (WILD TIER)

Top Tens – Film: Top 10 Films (7) John Wick

One of the best movie poster images (for John Wick 2)

 

(7) JOHN WICK (2014 – PRESENT)

 

 

“Yeah, I’m thinking I’m back”

 

You sure are, John Wick, you sure are. You too, Keanu.

 

The best action franchise of the twenty-first century. There – I said it. Also one of the best roaring rampages of revenge and one-man armies on screen. Also some of the best poster designs.

 

I also dig the whole assassin mystique and mythos it’s got going, with its intricate rituals and rules, implausible as it all is – the implausibility just makes it more mythic! The Continental, the High Table, and so on. Although I suspect real hitmen are a lot less glamorous and a lot more seedy.

 

“Neo-noir action thriller franchise…set in a shadowy world of assassins and criminals”. I can’t resist quoting TV Tropes that “the films can be best described as what happens when Neo is reimagined in the real world as the deadliest assassin alive”.

 

It has been hailed as reviving the flagging action genre, not least due to its “choreographed sequences and practical effects that were filmed in long takes” – none of that quick cut shaky-cam crap. Also lots of gunplay and headshots – not that John needs a gun to kill anyone. A book, a pencil, a horse – anything will do.

 

This entry represents the franchise as whole – four films deep and spinoffs as at 2024 – but if I have to choose one, it would have to be the 2014 original film for the franchise at its freshest, albeit Chapter Four comes close in the sequels.

 

FANTASY & SF

 

That assassin mystique and mythos borders on fantasy, while John Wick’s skill and survivability borders on supernatural ability (as do the action sequences in general).

 

COMEDY

 

Surprisingly for a film set in the underworld of assassins, it hits some black and dry comedic beats.

 

 

RATING: 4 STARS****

A-TIER (TOP TIER)

Top Tens – Film: Top 10 Films (8) Gareth Evans – The Raid

From the films’ theatrical release poster

 

 

(8) GARETH EVANS –

THE RAID (2011)

100 minutes of awesomeness in a frenetic, claustrophobic martial arts action masterpiece – the martial arts being the Indonesian pencak silat that is showcased by the film’s fight choreography and the claustrophobic being the film’s premise.

That premise being an Indonesian police squad deployed to raid a drug lord’s apartment block in the sums of Jakarta – actually a fortress-like safe house for the city’s worst criminals – only to find themselves forced to fight their way through the complex to carry out their mission or just to survive long enough to escape.

“Good morning, everyone. You may have noticed we have some guests trawling the halls today. Now, I certainly did not invite them and they most certainly are not welcome. So, in the interests of public health, should you rid this building of its recent infestation, well, then, you can consider yourself a permanent resident of this building. Free of charge. You’ll find these f*cking cockroaches on the sixth floor. Now, go to work. And please, please enjoy yourself.”

And yes – it was the same premise that was (independently) used to similarly great effect in the 2012 Dredd film.

And ever since, I’ve enjoyed whenever The Raid pops up in one form or another – most obviously in its 2014 sequel, which maintained the frenetic action of the first. You know you’re in for glorious action when the climax of the film is preceded by a character telling its action hero that the only way to solve his problems is to kill all of the parties responsible. My personal highlight of the sequel was the assassin duo dubbed Hammer Girl and Baseball Bat Man.

I also get excited whenever I see what I call the Raid guys – primarily Iko Suwais and ‘Mad Dog’ Yahan Ruhian – in a film. Even when they were disappointingly wasted in The Force Awakens. Fortunately, John Wick Chapter 3 made up for that.

I’m also counting it as The Raid popping up for any film by the same director Gareth Evans – which admittedly has only been one film after the two Raid films so far, albeit the decent folk horror flick Apostle.

 

FANTASY & SF

No, except to the extent that the intense fighting skill and survival of characters borders on supernatural.

 

COMEDY

Again, not really any comedic elements, except occasionally of the blacker kind

 

RATING: 4 STARS****

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Top Tens – Top 10 Films (9) Robert Eggers – The Northman

Theatrical release poster

 

(9) ROBERT EGGERS –

THE NORTHMAN (2022)

 

“I will avenge you, father. I will save you, mother. I will kill you, Fjolnir”.

 

Well, two out of three ain’t bad.

 

A retelling of the legend of Amleth – the source for Shakespeare’s Hamlet.

 

If there’s one thing director Robert Eggers is known for, it’s for making mythic worlds – films that utterly and viscerally immerse their audience into the world of their stories, characteristically with “their central elements of mythology and folklore”, down to the finest detail.

 

He did it with The Witch and he did it here – with Anya Taylor-Joy as a common denominator between them and I have a thing for those fey eyes of hers. He does it better in The Northman – for one thing he has more mythic elements to play with from Norse mythology (and European magic) and for another he improves upon the more ponderous pacing of The Witch, arguably a side effect of his world-immersion but one keeps much tighter here.

 

His work is pretty impressive as he only has three films under his belt – with a fourth film upcoming in 2024, his passion projecy Nosferatu. (I skipped The Lighthouse, his second film between The Witch and The Northman).

 

I can’t mention Anya Taylor-Joy without mentioning Alexander Skarsgard as the titular Northman, an actor born to play a berserker if ever there was one – and that continuous tracking shot of him through an attack on a village is a thing to behold. (Heh – berserking is in the eye of the beholder).

 

And if we’re to mention standout scenes – there’s my personal standout scene(s) of the Valkyrie and her otherworldly ferocity, even if people mistook her filed teeth for braces.

 

I can’t resist wrapping up with this quote by reviewer David Ehrlich for Indiewire, calling the film “primal, sinewy, gnarly-as-f*ck” and “grab-you-by-the-throat intense”.

 

FANTASY & SF

 

And how! The mythic elements – reflecting the worldview of its characters – loom so large the film borders on fantasy, including that final volcanic surreal showdown.

 

COMEDY

 

Eggers…isn’t big on comedic elements. So, no – or few and far between.

 

RATING: 4 STARS****

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Top Tens – Mythology: Top 10 Mancy (Special Mention – Complete)

Free “divine gallery” art sample from OldWorldGods

 

 

But wait – there’s more mancy!

Of course, you knew that already.

There is a plethora of methods of divination (or types of magic) connoted by the suffix -mancy, indeed so many that I could have done my usual twenty special mentions several times over. Just look at the Wikipedia entry for methods of divination – or the TV Tropes entry for whatevermancy.

As I said in my introduction to the top ten, there is an almost overwhelming number of variants of divination (or magic) with that suffix -mancy, and their sheer abundance has always fascinated me. In part that reflects the ease by which one can coin such a word, usually by combining a Latin or Greek root word with -mancy. However, it predominantly reflects connoting forms of divination actually used by people as observed or recorded in history or anthropology – as people have used almost anything and everything as the magical means of divination.

Of course, some or even many are incredibly particular, esoteric or obscure as a result – to use just one example to illustrate, belomancy (or bolomancy) is the art of divination by use of arrows.

Accordingly, I have continued to prefer the broader brush strokes I used in my top ten for the special mentions as well, although as usual I splash out with some wilder entries in my special mentions.

And once again, it goes without saying that the top ten or special mentions does or do not reflect any personal beliefs in methods of divination or forms of magic, just my interest in them.

So here are my Top 10 Mancy special mentions, all in the one post compiled from their previous individual entries (and also in their own page).

 

Free “divine gallery” art sample from OldWorldGods

 

(1) GYNOMANCY

 

“Frenzied women from whose lips the god speaks”

Yes – there is no entry for gynomancy in the Wikipedia list of methods of divination and I made it up for special mention from the suffix gyno-, but it does have some basis in history or mythology and even more potential in fantasy, both enough for goddess-tier ranking.

But first, gynomancy might be defined in one of two ways – divination of women, or divination by women.

The first is essentially divination by observations of women or a woman – for example, perhaps along the lines of somatomancy or divination by the female body or its feminine aspects, which would make for a novel twist on those FBI female body inspector shirts. “Please undress – trust me, I’m a gynomancer!”

The second is of course divination or magic by women – one of few areas extending back in history and mythology prior to the modern period where women match or even exceed men in otherwise patriarchal societies.

Sure, the Bible is mostly a patriarchal prophet boys’ club, with prophets such as Jeremiah famously ranting about Israel as an unfaithful wife (and sleeping around with other gods), but even it does have female prophets, albeit usually without books to their name (with arguable exceptions such as Esther).

Elsewhere, however, divination had more equal opportunities. Walter Burkert observed that the “frenzied women from whose lips the god speaks” were recorded as far back as the Near East in the second millennium BC or Assyria in the first millennium BC, and there were similar female figures (heh) in Egypt. Often these female figures were associated with snakes, which puts a different spin on Eve and the Serpent in Genesis.

However, the most famous female figures of divination were from classical history. Foremost among them was the Pythoness or Pythia of the Delphic Oracle (there’s that snake association again), albeit as the mouthpiece of Apollo as god of prophecy. For Rome, there was the Sibyl and her Sibylline Books.

Yet female divination or gynomancy goes even further than this with the female figures that recur throughout European mythology and folklore as forces of fate or fortune, typically as a trinity, from the Fates of classical mythology to the weird sisters of Macbeth – at least speaking to human fate or fortune, if not actively making or shaping it, and enduring even as witches or fairies (or fairy godmothers) in fairy tales.

This female trinity varies, but one of the most popular conceptions of it is as the trinity of Maiden, Mother and Crone, occasionally styled as the phases of the moon (waxing, full and waning) or the trope of the Hecate Sisters – and there’s an argument for each of the trinity as definitively embodying the female aspect for divination or magic.

Perhaps the obvious female aspect is female sexuality, typically represented by the Maiden – although perhaps with characteristic irony (or duality), divination or magic may be associated with virginity, with one theme being the loss of such powers with the loss of virginity. Think Vestal Virgins but with divination or magic to go along with their sacred position – or Solitaire in the James Bond film Live and Let Die.

Of course, divination or magic may also be associated with active female sexuality (which raises a number of interesting possibilities for gynomancy in fantasy) – which may also take us from the Maiden to that figure with the most powerful ultimate expression of female sexuality, the Mother (which again raises a number of interesting possibilities for gynomancy in fantasy being based on pregnancy, or giving birth, or nursing, and so on). And of course mothers are generally known for prophetic pronouncements, particularly to their children.

“Two things, my lord, must thee know of the wise woman. First, she is…a woman. And second, she is…”
“Wise?”
“You do know her, then?”
“No, just a wild stab in the dark, which is, incidentally, what you’ll be getting if you don’t start being more helpful”

The Crone tends to involve female aspects other than active sexuality – but there’s a long history of weird sisters, wise women and witches that speak for her as a figure of divination and magic.

Speaking of the Hecate Sisters, there is Hecate herself as the literal goddess of magic in classical mythology, reflecting the recurring role of divine female figures for magic in mythology – Isis and Freya come to mind – although in fairness divine magic is distributed among both gods and goddesses as part of their nature. Odysseus is particularly reliant on the kindness of divine female strangers and their magic in the Odyssey, prompting speculation of female authorship for that epic.

Anyway, gynomancy has a lot of potential, particularly in fantasy, as either or both of a method of divination or school of magic. Bonus points if divination or magic is exclusively gynomancy – that is, only women can use divination or magic (or some similar variation, such as they are more attuned to or powerful in its use), which opens up considerable potential for equalizing sexes or powerful female characters in fantasy. Indeed, there’s a whole trope for it – Magic is Feminine.

 

RATING: 5 STARS*****
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Jane Seymour as Solitaire in the 1973 James Bond film “Live and Let Die” – my favorite depiction of the Tarot in film, for which they designed their own pack, the Tarot of the Witches. Also – Jane Seymour!

 

 

(2) CHARTOMANCY – CARTOMANCY (TAROMANCY)

 

“I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died” – Steve Wright

Special mention to the first of what I call my casino trinity of mancy – cartomancy or divination by cards, with the foremost of those being divination by Tarot cards, occasionally styled as taromancy.

That casino quip is not casual – I suspect there is a substantial overlap between methods of divination and gambling in games of chance or fortune, evolving to or from the other. However, it is not an area in which I have read (if such references exist), although Encyclopedia Britannica at least seems to endorse that gambling evolved from divination.

I have read that something of the reverse happened with Tarot cards. Tarot cards appear to have originated as the very subject of Wright’s joke – a more mundane medium for playing card games – but subsequently acquired their mystique as a means for divination, often in popular culture with dire portents Wright played on for his joke.

Less dramatically, cartomancy tends to use standard playing cards, which were introduced into Europe (from foreign origins, apparently ultimately from China) at about the same time as Tarot, albeit not necessarily in their contemporary form. I understand that the history (and historical forms) of playing cards is less than clear, as is the Tarot and any relationship between them – contrary to my former beliefs (from superficial reading) that playing cards evolved from the Tarot.

Cartomancy is itself a form of chartomancy, which is divination by…paper?! Well, not just any paper, but paper with things on it – which could potentially be as simple as paper with different colors on it (for example, drawn randomly by a querent) but more usually paper with words or visual symbols written or printed on it, hence cartomancy.

I suspect chartomancy is more a label of convenience for similar methods of divination using written or printed words or symbols on paper rather than a meaningful denomination for divination from paper of itself. Although apparently there was papyromancy for divination by folding paper – reading the creases from crumpled paper not unlike the lines in a hand in palmistry.

Writing (including writing visual symbols) probably did have an appearance of magic or at least some mystique to it with the advent of literacy which was passed on to its mediums including paper – arguably reflected in the enduring image of magic in books or scrolls.

Another example of chartomancy would be fortune cookies – used more now for casual entertainment, but apparently (or at least arguably) with a serious historical pedigree dating back to Mesopotamia and Greece, occasionally termed as aleuromancy or divination by the use of flour.

Yet another example would be stichomancy (occasionally styled as rhapsodomancy), divination by lines of verse (or poetry), or what I might call small-b bibliomancy, literally divination by books – of which the most famous is big-b Bibliomancy, or divination by the Bible, typically by lines or passages “taken at hazard” or at random.

Obviously other books can and have been used, although usually of equal significance – Homer’s Iliad and Oydssey (sometimes styled as stoichomancy or stoicheomancy), the works of Virgil and the mysterious Sybilline Books in Rome, the Koran (or Quran) and so on. I’d like to see dictiomancy – divination by words at random from the dictionary.

As a method of divination, the various forms of chartomancy have a power corresponding to what is used – standard playing cards might seem mundane but Tarot cards have the emotional resonance of their vivid, and violent, visual imagery.

And as a type of magic, there’s that enduring image of books and scrolls as the means for magic, including in Dungeons and Dragons. It would be intriguing to extend that to cards, perhaps adapted in different styles or schools of magic from card games such as poker or blackjack. Or perhaps conjuration using Tarot cards – although Dungeons and Dragons has done something of the sort with its Deck of Many Things.

Although knowing my luck, I’d mostly draw Swords, perhaps echoing Indiana Jones and snakes. “Swords – why did it have to be Swords?”.

 

RATING: 4 STARS****
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The various different sided dice designed and used for Dungeons & Dragons – particularly including the iconic and definitive d20

 

(3) CLEROMANCY – ASTRAGALOMANCY

 

God does play dice with the universe!

Or in other words a crapshoot…

The second of my casino trinity of mancy for special mention

Strictly speaking, cleromancy is divination by casting lots, as the prefix clero- derives from the Greek root for lot – a method of divination or random selection used frequently in ancient history, not least in the Bible where it even appears to be positively endorsed as a means to divine God’s will.

However, it is used more generally as a label of convenience for divination by other means of random selection – interestingly, for which casting also tends to be used as a verb, most definitively casting a die or dice, often styled as astragalomancy (for “dice” from bones).

It can extend to similar things such as the I Ching in China. One might also extend it to numismatomancy or divination by coins, although typically one flips or tosses a coin rather than casting it in modern parlance.

As a means of divination, it has the powerful simplicity of its random mechanic, arguably the most random of any method of divination, although it still boils down to how the diviner assigns the possible outcomes.

And as a school of magic – well, perhaps it’s not so random that the other thing for which the word cast or casting is frequently used is magic, as in casting a spell or spellcasting. Or that dice are famously used as the mechanics of gameplay for magic in games such as Dungeons and Dragons.

I also like the idea of magic as inherently random in nature – what I’d like to style as entropomancy, or the archetypal tropes of chaos magic or wild magic. Powerful perhaps but potentially dangerous or tricky, prone to turning in the hand, or wand as it were – with a will of its own that is more coaxed than controlled, and with unintended consequences even at the best of times when you can shape it to your purpose.

I mean – that’s kind of the point of magic, to indeed play dice outside or with the usual rules of the universe, albeit ideally to load those same dice in your favor. Funnily enough, it seems to me that human life (and biological life in general) is the reverse – brief moments snatched from the basic entropy of the universe.

 

RATING: 4 STARS****
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X Wheel of Fortune – Rider Waite Tarot (artist Pamela Colman Smith)

 

(4) CYCLOMANCY (GYROMANCY)

 

Wheel of Fortune!

No, seriously – as illustrated by the medieval concept of fate or fortune subsequently used in Tarot cards, although perhaps better known for the modern game show concept

Cyclomancy – or divination by wheels – is the third of my casino trinity of mancy for special mention, obviously invoking roulette.

Of course, it didn’t so much involve the wheel itself, but things inscribed on the wheel, and spinning the wheel as a means of randomizing selection of outcome – not unlike the game show concept.

“Bust a deal, face the wheel” – Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome might be my least favorite of the franchise but it did have some interesting (and memorable) concepts, one of which was its cyclomantic system of justice or law enforcement. Yet again, however, it illustrates that such things usually boil down to how the diviner assigns the possible outcomes – with Aunty Entity stacking the wheel heavily in her favor with a large part of it designated as Aunty’s Choice.

I don’t know how prevalent cyclomancy was as a means of divination in classical Greece – I suspect not very as against more dramatic or emotive methods of divination – but I’d like to imagine the Delphic Oracle as a game-show style of Wheel of Fortune, spun by a delectable Pythoness. Although probably the better game show model would be something like Family Feud, down to the actual feuding families – “we surveyed a hundred divine beings and if your answer is not up on the board…”

Cyclomancy is part of that stereotypical childhood or adolescent game of spin the bottle – as for that matter is gyromancy or divination by dizziness, except for games where you’re the thing being spun. Sometimes you spin the bottle and sometimes the bottle spins you.

As a method of divination, it shares the powerful simplicity of its random mechanic with cleromancy, albeit one readily cheated by not only stacking the wheel in your favor, but also with various carnival means of interfering with the spinning of it.

As a school of magic, it does not seem so readily applicable – although I like the image of wizards using spell wheels in the manner of prayer wheels or similar objects (or, for the Dungeons and Dragons class of cleric, using prayer wheels).

However, it has a thematic applicability similar to the random nature (or entropomancy) of cleromancy, except also the reverse – in that it is not so much random but cyclical, ultimately moved by a larger pattern or even cosmic balance. What goes up must come down – and part of the art of cyclomancy is riding the wave of the cycle in your favor.

Cyclomancy can even overlap with sacrificial hieromancy – in that you can spin the wheel of fortune in your favor but you have to pay a price, at least when the wheel spins back, or perhaps even to take a spin in the first place.

 

RATING: 4 STARS****
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Tetragrammaton in Palaeo-Hebrew, ancient Aramaic and modern Hebrew scripts created by Zappaz and Bryan Derksen for Wikipedia and licensed under Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 3.0 Unported license https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/

 

(5) NOMANCY / ONOMANCY

 

“The name is the thing, and the true name is the true thing.”

Yes – we’re talking the divination or magic of names. Although typically it involves not just any names, particularly the names we so casually toss about for ourselves in our daily lives, but true names or names of power, even if they have to be discovered through nomancy or onomancy itself, sometimes to those who have forgotten or don’t know their own true name or nature.

“A person’s true name might be self-determined, or bestowed on them by someone else — possibly in a religious or magical ritual, or it could be stolen, or given away”. It also tends to be something a person or being jealously guards or keeps secret – although that often applies to names in general, as with Odysseus with his name to Polyphemus.

A true name perfectly describes something’s essential nature – one might well say its soul or spirit – and knowing a true name gives one power over the owner of the name.

It is a concept with a long pedigree in mythology and folklore which I suspect originates in prehistory with human language itself and our ability to vocalise or for verbal thought, which often seem magical of themselves.

Some of the most striking illustrations of it are in the Bible, particularly in the creation myths of Genesis – from God essentially naming or speaking creation into existence to Adam naming the animals. True names might be said to reflect the divine language of heaven or the primal language of creation.

Interestingly, that goes for the name of God as well and there’s a whole running theme in or from the Bible about the power of God’s true name or names – from the Tetragrammaton (or four letters YHWH representing God) to the multiple or secret names of God giving power over creation, hence the various taboos revolving around the name (or names) of God (including one of the Ten Commandments).

I would argue that it also underlies the concept of Plato’s Forms – indeed, it might be argued that one’s true name essentially corresponds to one’s Form. It also perhaps underlies magic words or incantations in general.

There is even a myth, whether it has any historical truth or otherwise, that the city of Rome had a true name, safeguarded and kept secret lest her enemies learn of it to curse her or gain power over her.

All that is very well but it doesn’t seem to make for much by way of a method of divination – except of course to divine a true name as part of magic. Well, perhaps for things like those childhood or adolescent games in which one “calculates” the compatibility of a crush or love interest, although they tend to involve alphanumeric keys based on letters.

As a system or school of magic, it comes close even to oneiromancy as arguably the original source of all divination, as well as magic and religion in general – the ability to shape reality to our conceptual and verbal thought, perhaps even to define things into existence.

Not coincidentally, it is a concept that often underlies or is at least invoked by game mechanics for magic in Dungeons and Dragons – although not as a core mechanic given its potential power. Hence the class of truenamer, which on paper was a decent concept, but its actual mechanics in game play were so bad that it was widely acknowledged to be so hopelessly broken as the worst class of the game.

 

RATING: 4 STARS****
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Yes – it’s one of my favorite memes, the math lady / confused lady featuring Brazilian actress Renata Sorrah playing Nazare Tedesco in a scene from Senhora do Destino

 

(6) ARITHMANCY

 

Lucky numbers and sacred geometry!

Also Pythagoras – whom I used to think of as a grounded philosopher and mathematician from his theorem at school, because schools don’t teach how much of a mystical kook he was as well. Mind you, the same goes for Greek philosophers in general, as E.R. Dodds propounded in The Greeks and the Irrational.

And yes – apparently numerology was known as arithmancy prior to the 20th century, and frankly still should be rather than coopting a name more appropriate to a science to itself, similarly to astrology. Also – numeromancy was sitting right there!

In fairness, similarly to astrology contributing to astronomy, numerology may have contributed to science, albeit more numerology in the broader sense of numeric patterns – as per British mathematician I. J. Good, “there have been a few examples of numerology that have led to theories that transformed society…It would be fair enough to say that numerology was the origin of the theories of electromagnetism, quantum mechanics, gravitation….”

Arithmancy or divinatory numerology essentially involves “a belief in an occult, divine or mystical relationship between a number and one or more coinciding events” – or that certain numbers have certain mystical or symbolic properties. Or in short – lucky (and unlucky) numbers. The same concept can also be applied to the mathematical properties of geometry – hence sacred geometry.

As for the numbers themselves, they may come from some process of random selection (not unlike modern lotteries) or from assigning numeric values to other things, such as an alphanumeric system for letters in words or names (overlapping with my previous special mention for nomancy or onomancy).

That last is also known as gematria, a practice dating back to ancient history and (in)famously appearing in the Bible as 666 or the Number of the Beast in the Book of Apocalypse – or as I like to quip, that sixy beast – for which the scholarly consensus is that it is an alphanumeric key to the Roman Emperor Nero. (It’s a little more messy than that – I understand it wasn’t the actual Nero, but some sort of projected supercharged revenant Nero back from the dead, and could also be rendered alternatively as 616, as it was in some versions).

The strength of arithmancy or numerology as both method of divination and school of magic lies in the elegance and explanatory power of mathematics to explain the fundamental properties of our reality – something which is ever more so in modern science, where whole swathes of reality only seem explicable entirely as increasingly arcane mathematical formulae.

To the point that our physical reality often seems a coalescence or crystallization of mathematics or numbers – it is not so much that everything has a true name but a true number.

I can’t resist closing with two of my favorite incarnations of arithmancy in science fiction.

The first is the basic arithmantic principles underlying the Laundry series by Charles Stross – where the magic is essentially arithmancy or mathematics (and where the growing computing power of humanity and its machines will reach a threshold drawing the attention of hostile Lovecraftian entities).

The second is my favorite version of arithmancy in a charming (and characteristically horny) short story by Fritz Leiber – in which the number seven assumes a sexy female personification. Hot damn – that would have made maths classes more interesting at school!

 

RATING: 4 STARS****
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Lotus flower – public domain image

 

(7) BOTANOMANCY

 

“The force that through the green fuse drives the flower”

Sadly, botanomancy or divination by plants seems to get short shrift compared to theriomancy or divination by animals, even though both probably originate in prehistory – with prehistoric humans depending as much on observations of plant life as they did animal life.

Even the term botanomancy itself is read more narrowly, at least in the Wikipedia entry for it, as divination by burning particular plants (similarly to burning laurel wreaths or daphomancy), but this seems more in the nature of pyromancy.

There are also references to anthomancy or divination by flowers (as well as phyllorhodomancy or divination by rose petals), dendromancy or divination by trees, and phyllomancy or divination by leaves (as well as sycomacy or divination by fig leaves).

However, none of these references elaborate anything by way of divinatory practice in history, although the specificity of some of those references – rose petals or fig leaves – suggest some specific practice. One can imagine divination by scattering rose petals in much the same way as dirt in geomancy and it would make for a more romantic date, if nothing else.

At very least, there’s that romantic divinatory game of plucking petals from a flower – s/he loves me, s/he loves me not…

One can also imagine divination by spots in leaves or fruit and so on, or perhaps patterns of where they fall. There’s also that Celtic tree alphabet (or ogham), which was the weird focus in Robert Graves’ The White Goddess – although it’s hard to tell with that book – in a manner suggestive of divination or magic. In fairness, the Wikipedia reference to dendromancy does note particular trees – “especially oaks, yews, or mistletoe” – and druids seemed to go nuts for that last one.

Ironically, the (vaguely) botanomantic reference which is elaborated in most detail is tasseomancy or divination by patterns in tea leaves or coffee grounds – which however is both a relatively recent method of divination and also more akin to hydromancy by brewing.

As a method of divination, botanomancy just seems a little low tier in comparison even only to theriomancy – perhaps plant life operates on too long (or slow) a time scale for practical divination, or perhaps we just have more of an emotional attachment to animals. Unless you’re communing with the Green in the style of Swamp Thing or Poison Ivy.

As a school of magic, however, I rank it as top tier – again essentially combining the Dungeons and Dragons classes of wizard and druid. It’s arguably up there with the elemental schools of magic – indeed the Chinese had five classical elements, one of which was wood. That’s especially so if you can control or grow plants, again in the style of Swamp Thing or Poison Ivy.

Alternatively, with a little fantasy or imagination it’s up there with theriomancy, but as a literal way of plant powers – with one of many applications replicating the effects of plant-based toxins or drugs.

 

RATING: 4 STARS****
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Hopefully not that ominous – Ten of Swords, Rider-Waite Tarot illustrated by Pamela Colman Smith

 

(8) CRYPTOMANCY

 

It’s an omen!

According to Wikipedia’s list of methods of divination, cryptomancy is divination by omens, although the prefix crypto- designates hidden or secret, as in hidden or secret signs. Which begs one of the biggest questions for this method of divination – what is an omen?

And there’s the rub. The problem with this as a distinct method of divination is that most, if not all, methods of divination ultimately relied on what might be described as divining or interpreting omens from whatever it was they looked at for their subject matter.

Augury, for example, often used as a synonym for omen, originates in interpreting omens from the behaviour or flight of birds – or ornithomancy, as we saw in theriomancy. And so on.

Accordingly, omens can be somewhat mundane, but I prefer my omens to be portentous – as in portent, also often used as a synonym for omen. I also prefer my omens to be ominous – a word I understand to be derived from omen, and to convey foreboding.

In other words, I prefer my omens to be big and bad – and ideally weird. Comets and eclipses. Animals born with two heads or no eyes. Spontaneous animal or human combustion. Raving and gibbering hooded figures. And so on.

So as a method of divination, it’s not distinct from any other method of divination, except to the extent its omens might be bigger, badder or weirder.

It doesn’t exactly leap out as a school of magic either, but perhaps with a little imagination might be adapted to a school of magic powered by charms, curses, and hexes. I can imagine a luck-fuelled school of magic in urban fantasy, perhaps styled as tychomancy, based on superstitions, lucky symbols or signs of bad luck – perhaps even powered by channelling signs of bad luck (broken mirrors and so on) into good magic, like some sort of mojo judo.

 

RATING: 4 STARS****
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Yes – it’s that freaky oracle scene from the 2006 film 300, directed by Zac Snyder – oracles evoking the random or at least cryptic utterances that pop up in one form of cledonomancy

 

 

(9) CLEDONOMANCY (CLAMANCY & CHRESMOMANCY)

 

Serendipity and synchronicity.

Or crowd-sourcing your divination.

Cledonomancy is divination by chance events or overheard words, using the prefix cledon- from the Greek root for rumor.

“A kind of divination based on chance events or encounters, such as words occasionally uttered…rumor, a report, omen, fame, name.”

In some ways cledonomancy seems the inverse of cryptomancy or divination by omens, at least omens as big, bad or weird events. Instead cledonomancy involves mundane events of chance significance or synchronicity.

Apparently one example of cledonomancy was for the querent to whisper a question into the god’s ear at a shrine (presumably of a statue or something similar) and then listen for the god’s answer among chance words of pedestrians outside the shrine.

This is also styled as clamancy, divination by random shouts or cries heard in crowds, at night or so on – although I also have a soft spot for chresmomancy or divination by the ravings of lunatics, or its contemporary equivalent of Twitter.

As a method of divination, it has a certain appeal and force to it – serendipity in common parlance or what Jung styled as synchronicity. It also seems immensely practical – easy to do at home (especially through ‘surfing’ radio, television, or internet), at work, or generally out and about.

As a school of magic, it would seem to be in the same territory of entropomancy, chaos magic, or wild magic as cleromancy.

 

RATING: 4 STARS****
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Illustration of the Dutch explorer Joris van Spilbergen meeting King Vimaladharmasuriya I of Kandy (in modern Sri Lanka) from a 1602 book – used for the Stranger King article in Wikipedia

 

 

(10) XENOMANCY

 

“A prophet is never accepted in his home town”

The divination and magic of strangers, stranger kings, stranger things…and aliens?

Unlike gynomancy, Wikipedia’s list of methods of divination includes xenomancy or divination by strangers, but there is nothing beyond its mere inclusion in the list.

Similarly to gynomancy, however, it might be defined in one of two ways – as divination of strangers, or as divination by strangers. In other words, the stranger as omen or oracle, portent or prophet – the stranger as divinatory object or the stranger as divinatory (or magic) figure.

In the first, the querent divines their answer from the appearance or characteristics of strangers. And to be honest, it doesn’t seem to offer much as a method of divination, much less a school of magic, except as something akin to that game of anticipating the color of the next car one sees driving past.

Of course, strangers arriving at one’s home have more of an import, but it would probably be a safe bet for a diviner to foresee trouble, particularly if the strangers are armed.

The latter – where the stranger is the diviner or magical figure – has far more potential. The wandering stranger was basically Odin’s schtick – and he was hardly alone among gods, angels or kings in that. Even Jesus pulled this trick, accompanying two of his followers unrecognized after his resurrection, only to vanish when they recognised him.

My featured quote was also by Jesus, who turned out to be the biggest stranger prophet of all for the Roman Empire, among various cults of mysterious strangers from the east, and of course beyond that to the world.

In the Bible, Jonah played a similar role on a smaller scale as stranger prophet to the Assyrian Empire – everyone remembers him being swallowed by a “fish” but forgets why he was swallowed in the first place, because he was trying to shirk his role as a stranger prophet.

And then there’s the theory of stranger kings, a theory developed by anthropologist Marshall Sahlins, essentially as to ‘native’ peoples accepting foreign rulers (particularly in the context of European colonialism) – a theory which may well overlap with stranger prophets or strangers as magical figures.

Xenomancy has intriguing fantasy narrative potential as underlying either divination or magic – that people can practice divination or use magic but only as strangers away from their homeland, but the most common trope involves them being in another world altogether, from portal fantasy in literature to isekai in Japanese manga or anime. Two examples spring readily to mind – Narnia (although there they are more stranger kings or heroes) and the Thomas Covenant Chronicles.

It even has intriguing SF narrative potential, particularly when one uses xeno- for its most common contemporary application to aliens – aliens as divinatory or magic figures to humans (or perhaps vice versa). One could even conjure up a contemporary form of xenomancy of divination (or magic) using alien or UFO sightings or lore.

Of course, fantasy often does much the same, but for particular fantasy races with respect to humans – elves effectively being a magical or semi-divine race to the more mundane humans or hobbits in The Lord of the Rings. For that matter, divinatory or magical aliens in SF often tend to be effectively space elves.

 

RATING: 4 STARS****
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A dust storm blankets Texas houses, 1935 in a photograph by George Everett Marsh Jr – public domain image used in Wikipedia article “Dust”

 

(11) ABACOMANCY

 

“I will show you fear in a handful of dust”

“Ah what a dusty answer gets the soul
When hot for certainties in this our life”

I could do these dusty quotes all day, although apparently dusty answer has become a term used for unsatisfactory reply, which does not bode well for abacomancy or divination by dust. However, I just couldn’t resist special mention for it and not just because it was literally the first entry in alphabetical order in Wikipedia’s list of methods of divination.

Disappointingly, it didn’t involve oracles in temples full of dust and cobwebs, but apparently something akin to geomancy – divining patterns in dust, dirt, sand, silt or ashes after being thrown or dropped on a flat surface. Also, Jackson Pollack was into it, doing a series of paintings for it.

Of course, I prefer to cite abacomancy as my go-to excuse for not cleaning my home.

As a method of divination or school of magic, abacomancy seems a little, well, dusty. Although I’d like to imagine abacomancy as a school of magic in a post-apocalyptic fantasy setting – magic powered by dust and detritus, flotsam and jetsam, rust and ruins. Essentially, necromancy but for objects instead of living things (although the two could overlap), a Magic of Broken Things along the lines of the God of the Lost in Stephen King’s The Girl of Who Loved Tom Gordon (although again those could overlap).

Come to think of it, a Magic of the Wasteland – both in terms of the form and style of T.S. Eliot’s poem of that name, the source of my handful of dust quote.

 

RATING: 4 STARS****
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A moonlight shadow of User:W.carter on a jetty at Holma Boat Club by Gullmarn fjord, Lysekil Municipality, Sweden – public domain image Wikipedia article “Shadow”

 

(12) SCIOMANCY

 

“And I will show you something different from either
Your shadow at morning striding behind you
Or your shadow at evening rising to meet you”

Literally a divination from or of shadows, although Wikipedia’s list of methods of divination also includes it as divination by spirits, presumably along the lines of the usage of shades for spirits or ghosts in the underworld, a meaning in use even today although it originates from usage in classical Greece and Rome.

Unfortunately, Wikipedia doesn’t elaborate on either in terms of method of divination, linking sciomancy to an article on theurgy. I’d like to imagine it involving oracles as some form of literal shadow play or shadows cast on a wall, perhaps even originating from the shadows cast from the flickering fires of prehistory.

One might even argue that Plato saw all but philosophers like himself as metaphorical sciomancers, as the reality of our perception effectively consists of shadows cast from the true metaphysical reality of ideal Forms.

Or in other words, the world of our perception is smoke and mirrors – although that seems an awesome combination with sciomancy as a method of divination or school of magic of shadows, smoke and mirrors, which would obviously lean heavily into illusion and perception. Throw in echoes as well and now we’re cooking.

Or for that matter combining sciomancy with the abacomancy of the previous entry – or with the necromancy of the more metaphorical use of shades or shadows. Or of darkness in general. Or all of the above.

Interestingly, Dungeons and Dragons has effectively featured sciomancy as part of its prestige or specialist classes of character, albeit typically as an arcane or magic enhancement of its rogue class.

 

RATING: 4 STARS****
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Chemical structure of LSD – public domain image Wikipedia article “LSD”

 

(13) NARCOMANCY

 

“And all should cry, Beware! Beware!
His flashing eyes, his floating hair!
Weave a circle round him thrice,
And close your eyes with holy dread
For he on honey-dew hath fed,
And drunk the milk of Paradise”

And now we come to my wild-tier, more playful entries I (mostly) made up for special mention. And yes – that opening quote is from Kubla Khan, or Samuel Taylor Coleridge playing poetic narcomancer on opium.

Narcomancy is what I’ve coined for divination by drugs or more precisely divination by intoxication or the effect of drugs. I’m joking and serious – the serious part being is that this is how I tend to believe historical divination actually worked, because they’d slip in some drugs somewhere for visions or apparently profound insights.

While narcomancy would effectively work as a sort of drugged oneiromancy for divination, it would only be a mechanic for a school of magic, with the effective source of magic as another -mancy, but you can only tap into it while adversely affected, with fun fantasy potential for different drugs accessing different sources or types of magic.

 

RATING: 4 STARS****
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Mango margarita made and photographed by yours truly!

 

 

(14) DIPSOMANCY (MARGARITOMANCY)

 

Sometimes you drink the bottle and sometimes the bottle drinks you.

Essentially a narrower subset of narcomancy, dipsomancy is what I’ve coined for divination by alcohol or drunkeness – from the same Greek root (dipso- for thirst) that gives us dipsomania, a fancy word for alcoholism.

Again there’s some fun fantasy potential for dipsomancy as a magical way of the Drunken Master, in the style of the Jackie Chan film featuring a drunken martial arts style, but for divination or magic.

Bonus points for margaritomancy – finally a method of divination or school of magic for which I’ve spent my whole drinking life in training! Sadly, the actual definition of margaritomancy does not, in fact, involve the cocktail of my signature drink, but pearls – from the Greek root word for pearl. That won’t stop me continue to train as a cocktail margaritomancer

 

 

RATING: 4 STARS****
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The iconic disco scene of John Travolta dancing to the Bee Gees “You Should Be Dancing” in the 1977 film “Saturday Night Fever” by Paramount Pictures. By the way, the woman in the green dress behind him (whom he abandons for his dance solo) was Fran Drescher

 

(15) DISCOMANCY

 

Yes, I made this one up, for latter day dervishes as it were, prompted by my other invention dipsomancy – with which one suspects discomancy would commonly overlap.

Yes, it’s a playful reference to the visual or sensory ambience of participants in contemporary dance music having something of the same dramatic or ritual resonance of divination or magic.

Also shufflemancy – a contemporary neologism actually used by some people today essentially as a type of cledonomancy (or clamancy) from the random selection of music playlists.

But as usual with these playful entries, I’m joking and I’m serious – the serious part being the long history of ecstatic dance or music in magic or religion, probably going back into prehistory and often to the point of metaphysical significance of cosmos or life itself as a dance. After all, are we not all dancers to the beat of our own hearts?

Famously, there’s the depiction of Shiva as Nataraja or Lord of the Dance – and manic dancing was also the ecstatic schtick of Dionysus and the Maenads.

It’s even in the Bible – perhaps most famously with Salome and her Dance of the Seven Veils, albeit not so much in the text itself (which omits even her name), and which may or may not have its origin in myths of the goddess Ishtar.

There’s also King David dancing “before the Lord with all his might”, much to the disapproval of his wife as his dancing left little to the imagination of female viewers. That’s right – it’s the Old Testament meets Magic Mike.

In some ways, it would be a type of somatomancy, using the (dancing) human body and its movements as a source of divination or magic (by either participants or spectators). It could potentially be even a type of theriomancy, particularly for ‘dances’ that imitated or invoked animal movements, or one of the elemental forms of divination or magic for dance imitating the movements of air, fire or water. It’s not much of a conceptual leap from the martial arts style of movements for the bending in Avatar to dance.

In a nutshell, similarly to other entries, it would seem more a mechanism for invoking divination or magic from other sources – again with fun fantasy potential for different dances or dance styles accessing different sources or types of magic.

After all, there’s the whole Dungeons and Dragons class of bard for evoking magic (and other things) using music, which is pretty silly when you think about it. As Elan the bard said of his class in the webcomic The Order of the Stick – “You walk into dungeons and SING at people. Who could take that seriously?”

And I for one am all here for taking to that to the next level with dungeon dance-offs. (Although I’m pretty sure there’s prestige classes or rules for adapting bards to dance as it is in the game – even memes of orc bard dancers).

 

RATING: 4 STARS****
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Fritz Leiber “Our Lady of Darkness” – cover of edition published by Orb Books in 2010

 

(16) MEGAPOLISOMANCY

 

Are you a lucky little lady in the city of light?

I didn’t make this one up – fantasy and SF writer Fritz Leiber did, the plot concept behind his literal urban fantasy novel Our Lady of Darkness.

Essentially it’s a type of divination or magic formed from large cities (Leiber’s city of residence San Francisco), that essentially coalesced from the psychic energy (in the Jungian sense) of masses of people.

It’s proved a particularly resonant concept, both for me personally and for the fantasy genre since. Neil Gaiman did something of a spin on it with his magical underground London Below in Neverwhere – I particularly like how each city has its mystical Beast at its heart.

And I understand N.K. Jemisin is doing something similar with human avatars of cities in her Great Cities series.

 

RATING: 4 STARS****
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16th century German half-hour sand glass, Metropolitan Museum of Art (New York City) – public domain image Wikipedia article “Hourglass”

 

(17) CHRONOMANCY

 

“Mastery is achieved when telling time becomes telling time what to do”

Funnily enough, Wikipedia does feature chronomancy among its methods of divination in terms similar to geomancy but with respect to time rather than space – the divination of the best or most propitious time to do something, or the determination of lucky and unlucky days.

Although arguably all divination is ultimately a form of chronomancy – in so far as it looks through time to the past or future.

However, the more popular usage of chronomancy is with respect to magic for moving through or manipulating time – potentially the most ridiculously overpowered form of magic if given full force.

And with a little imagination, it can adapt or replicate the usual schools of magic in Dungeons and Dragons in some form or other. Divination is straightforward, but also conjuration of anything from any time, such as dinosaurs.

And so on through time transmutation even to some sort of weird time necromancy with enough imagination or lateral thinking – time ghosts or time zombies, anyone?

 

RATING: 4 STARS****
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Shadowrun tabletop game 1st edition cover – fantasy cyberpunk game which coined the term technomancer

 

(18) TECHNOMANCY

 

“Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic”

Technomancy is an odd chimera of a beast, given that technology sort of goes against the whole point of magic – technology is functional magic that actually works.

As such, technomancy tends not to be used as divination but a form of magic or other ability that pops up in certain works of fantasy, usually contemporary or urban fantasy in settings with technology, or occasional SF.

Sometimes it is styled as technopathy (or to a lesser extent machine empathy) – “someone who can control machines and bend them to the user’s will, either through a physical or mental interface link. In some cases, this power also allows them to ‘hear’ what a machine is ‘thinking’ and establish a direct line of communication with the machine”.

It could also be used for magic from technology in SF– where technology is used to replicate magic, occasionally in ways unknown to or forgotten by the people using it – or potentially for where magic is used to power what otherwise appears as technology in certain fantasy settings.

Still, there is fun fantasy potential in combining technology with magic. I’d like to imagine it as a form of magic in a post-apocalyptic fantasy setting using relics from a technological past – or flipping it on its head with an anti-technopath, for someone (or something) that is magically destructive to technology.

 

RATING: 4 STARS****
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Neuromancer by William Gibson – cover art by Josan Gonzalez (Deathburger) for the Brazilian edition in 2016 (and French edition in 2020)

 

(19) NEUROMANCY

 

“What’s your name? Your Turing code. What is it?”
“Neuromancer…Neuro from the nerves, the silver paths. Romancer. Necromancer”.

I didn’t make this one up – the godfather of cyberpunk, William Gibson, did.

Well, technically, he only made up Neuromancer for the title (and titular character) of his landmark 1984 book, but I can’t compile a top ten and special mentions for -mancy without featuring it.

Neuromancer is an AI, in the SF superintelligence sense but neuromancy might well be regarded as the cyberspace hacking that drives the plot and is the forte of the protagonist console cowboy.

Or think the Matrix, since the film franchise borrowed much from Neuromancer, including the term matrix. Of course, it’s not actual magic but technology and skill – in Neuromancer at least, not so sure about the Matrix.

As a method of divination or type of magic, it is essentially cybermancy, which in turn is effectively a subset of technomancy narrowed to computers and computing.

Oh – and Neuromancer wasn’t kidding about the necromancer part, metaphorically at least, since it can create sentient copies or simulations of people’s consciousness in cyberspace, potentially persisting beyond the original.

 

RATING: 4 STARS****
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Theatrical release poster art by Boris Vallejo for National Lampoon’s Vacation (Warner Bros 1983) spoofing the trope of the Conan pose or leg cling and evoking the spirit of nymphomancy – certainly Chevy Chase seems to be something of a nymphomancer for Christie Brinkley in the film

 

 

(20) NYMPHOMANCY

 

Bow Chicka Wow Wow

Yes – I am a nymphomancer. No – I refuse to elaborate. I’ve already said too much.

For mine is the adventurous bed and questing beast, deus sex machina and hieros gamos.

And yes – it is part of my rule in my top tens to throw in a kinky entry amidst my wilder special mentions, usually as my final (twentieth) special mention, at least where the subject matter permits.

Although seriously, there is quite a bit of justification for sex in divination or magic – and even more potential for it in fantasy. I mean, I’m pretty sure I could adapt most of Dungeons and Dragons to nymphomancy.

 

RATING: 4 STARS****
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Free “divine gallery” art sample – OldWorldGods

 

TOP TENS – MYTHOLOGY:
TOP 10 MANCY
(SPECIAL MENTION)

And here are all twenty special mentions in one list

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(1) GYNOMANCY

“Frenzied women from whose lips the god speaks” – divination or magic of or by women

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My casino trinity of mancy:

(2) CHARTOMANCY – CARTOMANCY (TAROMANCY)

Divination or magic by paper – foremost cartomancy or divination or magic by cards (particularly taromancy – divination or magic by Tarot cards)

(3) CLEROMANCY – ASTRAGALOMANCY

Divination or magic by casting (lots) – foremost astragalomancy or divination or magic by casting dice

(4) CYCLOMANCY (GYROMANCY)

Wheel of Fortune!

Cyclomancy is where you spin the wheel (and gyromancy is where the wheel spins you)

Other top-tier special mention

(5) NOMANCY / ONOMANCY

“The name is the thing and the true name is the true thing” – the divination or magic of (true) names

(6) ARITHMANCY

Lucky numbers and sacred geometry – the divination or magic of numbers

(7) BOTANOMANCY

“The force that through the green fuse drives the flower” – divination or magic by plants

( 8 ) CRYPTOMANCY

Omens and portents

(9) CLEDONOMANCY (CLAMANCY & CHRESMOMANCY)

Serendipity and synchronicity – cledonomancy is divination by chance events or overheard words, foremost clamancy or divination by random shouts or cries heard in crowds (although I also have a soft spot for chresmomancy or divination by the ravings of lunatics, or its contemporary equivalent of X).

(10) XENOMANCY

“A prophet is never accepted in his home town”

The divination and magic of strangers, stranger kings, stranger things…and aliens?

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(11) ABACOMANCY

“I will show you fear in a handful of dust” – divination or magic by dust…or my excuse for not cleaning my home

(12) SCIOMANCY

“And I will show you something different from either
Your shadow at morning striding behind you
Or your shadow at evening rising to meet you”

Literally a divination or magic from or of shadows

X-TIER (WILD TIER)

And now we come to my wild-tier, more playful entries I (mostly) made up for special mention

(13) NARCOMANCY

“And all should cry, Beware! Beware!
His flashing eyes, his floating hair!
Weave a circle round him thrice,
And close your eyes with holy dread
For he on honey-dew hath fed,
And drunk the milk of Paradise”

Divination or magic by drugs or more precisely divination by intoxication or the effect of drugs

(14) DIPSOMANCY (MARGARITOMANCY)

Sometimes you drink the bottle and sometimes the bottle drinks you.

Essentially a narrower subset of narcomancy, dipsomancy is what I’ve coined for divination by alcohol or drunkeness

Bonus points for margaritomancy – finally a method of divination or school of magic for which I’ve spent my whole drinking life in training…sadly, the actual definition of margaritomancy does not, in fact, involve the cocktail of my signature drink, but pearls

(15) DISCOMANCY

Yes, I made this one up, for latter day dervishes as it were, prompted by my other invention dipsomancy – with which one suspects discomancy would commonly overlap. Divination or magic by dance

(16) MEGAPOLISOMANCY

Are you a lucky little lady in the city of light?

I didn’t make this one up – fantasy and SF writer Fritz Leiber did, the plot concept behind his literal urban fantasy novel Our Lady of Darkness for divination or magic formed from large cities.

(17) CHRONOMANCY

“Mastery is achieved when telling time becomes telling time what to do”

Divination or magic using time itself

(18) TECHNOMANCY

“Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic” – or in this case, divination or magic using technology (or technopathy)

(19) NEUROMANCY (CYBERMANCY)

I didn’t make this one up – the godfather of cyberpunk, William Gibson, did.

(20) NYMPHOMANCY

Bow Chicka Wow Wow

Yes – I am a nymphomancer. No – I refuse to elaborate. I’ve already said too much.