Mega-City Law: Judge Dredd Case Files 20 – Book of the Dead

 

JUDGE DREDD CASE FILES 20:

BOOK OF THE DEAD (progs 859-866)

 

Judge Dredd vs the Mummy!

That’s right – we’re in the highlight of Case Files 20 and arguably the entire Dark Age of Dredd from Case Files 17-23, the eight episode story arc of Book of the Dead.

I mean – it’s just good pulp horror fun. Judge Dredd vs the Mummy – what’s not to love?

It’s also our introduction to Egypt’s mega-city, Luxor – and what an introduction! The Luxor Judges may rank as yet another mega-city of villains but you have to love their uniforms – absolutely top tier, with their pharaonic chic.

Yes – it’s the usual stereotypical depiction of foreign mega-cities and doesn’t particularly make much sense as to why post-apocalyptic 22nd century Egypt and its Judges have reverted to imitating ancient pharaonic Egypt in implausible ways. Which just so happens to include an actual supernatural Mummy. But when it looks this good – who cares?

It helps that it is illustrated throughout by artist Dermot Power, with some of his best art – or indeed, some of the best art featured in the Judge Dredd comic.

Don’t worry too much about the paper-thin plot and its tenuous premise of Dredd’s diplomatic exchange with Luxor. Like any good horror film, it’s all just part of the ride to get to what we all came to see in the first place – the showdown between Judge Dredd and the Mummy. Indeed, as we learn in something of the twist – spoiler alert – Dredd’s whole diplomatic exchange was set up at its Luxor end for that very purpose. Of course, that just raises further questions but just go with it, okay?

So strap in for eight episodes of glorious art and your ride, courtesy of Morrison and Millar, to yet another showdown between Dredd and the undead. We’ve seen him take on zombies in Judgement Day, various forms of vampires (although technically none of them so far have been of the supernatural undead variety), and the Dark Judges who are arguably a form of lich. Now it’s time for Dredd to meet his Mummy.

 

 

JUDGE DREDD CASE FILES 20:

BOOK OF THE DEAD 1 (progs 859)

 

“I am Rameses, scourge of criminals and nemesis of the lawless.”

Here’s the introduction to Egypt’s mega-city Luxor – or more precisely its Judges. Luxor itself will have to wait until a little later in the episode.

As I said, you have to love those Luxor Judge uniforms – absolutely top tier with their pharaonic chic. In fact, I’m calling it now – I’m ranking them just below the Sovs in my mega-city Judge uniform rankings.

Dermot Powers’ art is on full display in this opening episode – so much so that I’m going to slow down and go almost panel by panel, firstly because of that gorgeous art and secondly because of the key story details in this episode. We’ll pick up the pace after this episode to the more usual panel per episode (or thereabouts) in the balance of the story arc.

As for that introduction, Dredd is literally dropped off in Luxor – “Judge Dredd, on board a Mega-City One Justice Department shuttle, has just landed at the north African city of Luxor, part of a cultural exchange program instigated by Chief Judge McGruder.”

Well, firstly, technically he hasn’t landed at Luxor but presumably their airport or spaceport facility some way from the city proper, as it is announced later. Secondly, McGruder seems to be coming up with all sorts of crazy plans lately – the Mechanismo project, that business initiative which gave us Roadkill in the preceding storyline, and now this cultural exchange. Of course, there’s method to her madness here – after their clash over the Mechanismo debacle, McGruder is keen to keep Dredd out of the city. Despite a reputation that seems to be worldwide, Dredd is not the best pick for cultural exchange or diplomacy.

And he gets quite the curt introduction to Rameses, apparently Luxor’s best Judge who is being exchanged with Dredd in Mega-City One for the week – and chose to take it personally. As we see at the conclusion of the story arc, he takes it quite a bit more than that. Judge Kamun is much friendlier – “I welcome you to Egypt with a joyful heart”.

Despite that friendly face, let’s just say that I don’t know how Kamun’s heart would fare against a feather on those divine scales of justice in Egyptian mythology…

 

 

 

JUDGE DREDD CASE FILES 20:

BOOK OF THE DEAD 1 (prog 859)

 

“Halt, sinner!

Be thankful I only took an arm, thief! Next time, I will not be so merciful!”

 

As I said, this first episode has one awesome art panel by Dermot Power after another – and they also set up so much of the later story or atmosphere of Luxor – that one almost has to go panel by panel. And yes – I know these are technically two panels!

And this sets up the Luxor Judges as another mega-city of villains comparable to Ciudad Baranquilla in corruption and casual brutality. Sigh – their uniforms might rank as top tier but their quality of life rankings is going down to fail-tier on a par with Ciudad Baranquilla.

I mean, Mega-City One Judges are trigger-happy but at least they don’t amputate arms. Although I suppose that puts the Luxor Judges up there with the limb-lopping lightsaber-happy Jedi.

And…is Judge Kamun just going to leave the criminal walk away to wander the streets without any sort of administration of justice or even patching him up? Does he at least get to pick up his arm? Is the penalty for petty theft – it was an apple from a street stall – really amputation? I’d prefer the cubes in Mega-City One.

As usual Dredd can’t resist a dry quip – “spare the rod?” – although I wouldn’t have picked him as one for Biblical or really any literary allusion, as in “spare the rod and spoil the child”.

 

 

 

 

JUDGE DREDD CASE FILES 20:

BOOK OF THE DEAD 1 (prog 859)

 

Well, I guess there goes that sarcastic pun about denial is not a river in Egypt, since the Nile is no longer a river in Egypt either.

Some nice Judge Dredd casual worldbuilding here in Book of the Dead, courtesy of a tight script and Dermott Powers’ art of the Luxor aircraft – nicely resembling ancient Egyptian art of a solar barque of the gods in design – as it overflies the canyon that “used to be the Nile”.

Used to be, that is, until the Atomic Wars “dried up its source”. Luxor “now pumps its water from hidden wells deep beneath the ground”.

Whoa – does that accord with the actual geology of Egypt? A cursory Google search suggests there might be something to it, but I suspect nothing close to the Nile itself.

And come on – who nuked the Nile? Can you nuke a river at source? I know the Atomic Wars were all out – but it still seems a frivolous use of nuclear warheads to little purpose. Who had it out for Egypt like that? Of course, it could be the sweeping environmental effects of global nuclear war – although that begs the question of whatever causing it was big enough to dry up the Nile…but leave the urban centers and population of Egypt unaffected enough to form a mega-city.

 

 

 

JUDGE DREDD CASE FILES 20:

BOOK OF THE DEAD 1 (prog 859)

 

 

“One of the four wonders of the modern world…the city of Luxor.”

 

Dredd is unimpressed by the sights of the canyon formerly known as the Nile, sneering from the corner of his mouth – “I’m not here to see the sights, Judge Kamun.”

You’d better get used to Dredd curling up the corner of this mouth to sneer in this storyline.

Judge Kamun tells Dredd he’s just warming up to the main attraction – “But up ahead is the greatest sight of all, my friend”.

Enter the glorious art panel of the city of Luxor, with Kamun’s line about it being one of the four wonders of the modern world.

But what are the other three?! Inquiring minds want to know! No, seriously – as far as I know, they have never elaborated on those other three wonders in the comic. I’d like to think Mega-City One has at least one of them.

And yes – the whole city appears to be under some sort of pyramid, whether of glass or the futuristic plastics they have in the twenty-second century (boing or plasteen among others), or perhaps some energy force shield. They never elaborate on it either.

The episode wraps up with another Luxor Judge on street patrol, Judge Khafre, being ambushed by a shadowy ghoulish figure – although we see enough of its bandaged arms to assume it’s that classic Egyptian undead stereotype, the Mummy. Conveniently, while the Mummy is chowing down on one of Khafre’s arms – which it appears to have torn off – it’s within eyesight of Dredd arriving into Luxor with Kamun. And strangely, it not only seems to know who Dredd is, but is also enthused to sibilance upon seeing him – “Yesss, Dredd…yessss”.

It’s nice to know that Dredd is so famous he’s known among the undead of Luxor.

 

 

 

 

JUDGE DREDD CASE FILES 20:

BOOK OF THE DEAD 2 (prog 860)

 

Whatever else you think of Luxor, you have to admit they have the most pimped out Chief Judge. The tiger really ties the room together.

Although to be honest, they might have gone a little too far with the whole pharaoh thing they’ve got going. I also would have thought that tigers were extinct in Dredd’s post-apocalyptic 22nd century.

Anyway, you’d also be forgiven for not thinking very much of Luxor, at least in terms of the quality of life for its citizens, placing it down there with Ciudad Baranquilla, the most dystopian of mega-cities in the twenty-second century.

They’re doing much better in terms of the preservation of Egypt’s ancient monuments, as we see the Great Pyramid and Sphinx at Giza – even if the latter is used as Luxor’s prison. Or more precisely, the maze beneath the Sphinx is used as the prison, although they execute the prisoners anyway after serving their terms.

Wait – there’s a maze under the Sphinx?! Looking it up, I found out that there was a legendary Hall of Records or library purported to exist somewhere underground near the Sphinx – and by legendary, I mean a modern legend apparently originating with American “clairvoyant”, Edgar Cayce. I guess Luxor decided to build it.

While looking that up, I also found out the Sphinx was built for Pharaoh Khafre – the namesake of the Luxor Judge killed by the Mummy at the end of the first episode. I’d note that Judge Kamun, Dredd’s Luxor escort, has a similar hame to Khamun – as the suffix of Tutenkhamun, which I understand to be derived from the god Amun.

Speaking of Kamun, he tells Dredd as they walk through the citizens of Luxor – seemingly left out of Luxor’s twenty-second century technology as they look much the same as contemporary Egyptians – “Look at the fear in the eyes of our citizens. The respect they show us. They know that even the wrong kind of look will mean a public flogging”.

So there you go – even looking at a Judge in Luxor wrong gets you a flogging.

Judge Kamun continues in the same vein as they enter what appears to be Luxor’s Grand Hall of Justice, resembling a palace or temple in ancient Egypt with the apt inscription He Who Weighs the Heart of Men – “There is no conflict in Luxor. There is only blind obedience.”

Kamun escorts Dredd to Luxor’s Chief Judge Giza (sigh) – although the lazy name is more than made up for by that art panel of the pimped out Chief Judge. Pimped out like a pharaoh, that is, down to a male and female servant whose only role appears to be sitting at the pharaoh’s feet to show how, ah, pharaohly the pharaoh is. The same goes for the tiger but it is a tiger after all – pretty cool.

Chief Judge Giza tells Dredd that something is rotten in the state of Luxor. We know this having seen the Mummy chowing down on a Luxor Judge, but the Chief Judge tells us that this is only one of many Judges killed by this undead thing. Indeed, thirteen as Chief Judge Giza tells Dredd.

Ah, better make that fifteen as the episode wraps up. Two Luxor Judges find what appears to be a pile of rags – but you guessed it, that pile of rags is the Mummy, although it’s not clear whether he was taking a nap or setting a trap.

And of course he chows down on them too. Or is that two? Or, for that matter, slurps them down – “Juicezzz! I need your juicezzz! Need to drink themm…and mmake me ssstronnng!”

Although that “juices” thing may be some unfortunate phrasing…

 

 

 

JUDGE DREDD CASE FILES 20:

BOOK OF THE DEAD 3 (prog 861)

 

Judge Dredd vs the Mummy: Round 1

I’m going to call this round a draw.

This episode opens with Judge Dredd and Luxor Judge finding the corpses – sucked dry – of the two Luxor Judges killed in the last episode. That description of sucked dry was used by Chief Judge Giza for the other thirteen Judges killed by the Mummy – which was somewhat surprising as when we saw it killing Luxor Judge Khafre, it appeared to actually eat one of his limbs.

Anyway, the Mummy has a bigger target in mind – indeed, the biggest. No, not Dredd – at least not yet, as foreshadowed by the Mummy apparently recognizing Dredd on seeing him – but Chief Judge Giza.

Either from a sense of opportunity, or dare I say it, toilet humor, the Mummy targets Chief Judge Giza in the most undignified position possible – on his throne. No, not his royal throne – that other throne of toilet slang. Nice gag though of Chief Judge Giza thinking the Mummy’s bandages were toilet paper being passed under the door at his request.

Needless to say, the Mummy makes quick work of Giza – and the two Anubis-like Judges standing guard outside the stall beforehand, although you only see their slain corpses in passing.

Fortunately, Dredd and Kamun are in the vicinity – although it’s not clear why, other than plot convenience – and overhear Giza’s screams coming from the Chief Judge’s quarters. They arrive at the scene in time for the first round between Dredd and the Mummy, as Dredd takes an incendiary shot at the Mummy as it runs away.

The Mummy turns back and gets a blow in as Dredd’s about to up the ante with a high-ex shot, throwing Dredd out the window for that cinematic cliché of Dredd’s fall being broken by successive canopies.

Dredd calls out (from the ground floor stall where he landed in a pallet of fruit or vegetables) for Kamun to pursue the Mummy – but Kamun replies “It’s too late, Judge Dredd. The beast has escaped!”

Hmm – something seems to be not quite right going on here…

 

 

JUDGE DREDD CASE FILES 20:

BOOK OF THE DEAD 4 (prog 862)

 

In Luxor, they even pimp out their resyk in pharaonic style.

I love how they threw a camel in there.

I can’t imagine there’d be many camels in Luxor but there’s one on the Luxor resyk conveyor for you.

And shame on you, Dredd, for that stereotypical crack – “Always figured the Egyptians would wrap their stiffs in bandages. As Kamun corrects him, “only the rich are allowed to be mummified…the rich and senior judges”.

In Luxor, resyk is for the plebs and proles – “the ordinary citizens” as Kamun calls them. Although you have to love the Luxor resyk motto, that they recycle “everything but the scream”.

 

 

 

JUDGE DREDD CASE FILES 20:

BOOK OF THE DEAD 4 (prog 862)

 

Luxor sending out its Chief Judge in sarcophagus style.

As Judge Kamun tells Dredd, “Our Chief Judge will be sent to the afterlife with all the ceremony his rank demands”.

Although I’ve nicknamed this story as essentially Dredd vs the Mummy, I suppose technically Dredd does see more than one mummy in it. Chief Judge Giza’s mummy is a lot less lively than the main Mummy though.

It is somewhat jarring that the 22nd century Egyptian megalopolis has reverted to much to its ancient predecessor – including mummification of its rich citizens and senior Judges, even more so that this is presided over by its “Tek”-Judges. (Tek being the more simplified phonetic spelling adopted in the 22nd century for tech, itself abbreviated from technology – not unlike resyk for recycling).

There have been some advances – as Kamun tells Dredd, “In ancient times, the mummification process took seventy days” but “now the whole ceremony is over in a matter of minutes”.

Why, though, since the story painstakingly shows the steps of the process that seems essentially the same as in ancient times? It seems a missed opportunity to have shown robots doing it.

Luxor even has revived the sacrificial interment of servants with the mummy of Chief Judge Giza – as an “honor guard” of “the Tek Judges of Anubis”. As Judge Kamun intones, “the Chief Judge will need servants when he awakens in the afterlife’ – which just strikes me even more that this whole mummy business should be done with robots.

Dredd is unimpressed as he accompanies Kamun for the funerary ceremony – “You don’t believe all this superstitious stuff, do you?”

What impresses me is that Chief Judge Giza is being interred in a pyramid – and indeed, one of the old pyramids, not a new one that Luxor has built for its Chief Judges. That seems to beg the question of how much room is there in those old pyramids for new mummies and their sacrificial guards? Do they just toss the old mummies out?

Dredd tells Kamun that he “feels kinda out of place here, Kamun” as they attend the funerary chamber. Kamun reassures him while standing behind him with a distinctly unnerving grin “Please, do not feel uncomfortable here, Judge Dredd. You are our guest of honor!”

Well, that’s unsettling. That choice of phrase – and Kamun’s slasher smile – bode nothing but trouble for Dredd. And sure enough – trouble is only two panels away…

 

 

 

 

JUDGE DREDD CASE FILES 20:

BOOK OF THE DEAD 4 (prog 862)

 

Things go pyramid-shaped as Dredd is betrayed and laid out as meat for the Mummy.

No, seriously.

“I wanted you here as meat! Sustenance for my master! A feast for he who will never die!”

That’s said by Judge Kamun after he’s zapped Dredd in the back with his Luxor lawgiver rod – phrasing! – but it may as well have been said by the writers Millar and Morrison themselves.

As I said in my introduction to this story at the outset, its paper-thin plot and tenuous premise is all contrived for the showdown between Judge Dredd and the Mummy. And here we learn the big twist – Dredd’s whole diplomatic exchange was set up by Judge Kamun at its Luxor end for that very purpose.

Yes – it has been foreshadowed through Kamun’s shady conduct throughout, most of all the Mummy’s convenient “escape” after its first round with Dredd, but also his constant smile that bordered on predatory grin. We got a good example of that smile at its most predatory as Kamun reassured Dredd about the latter being their guest of honor.

It was also foreshadowed in the very first episode as the Mummy spied on Kamun escorting Dredd into Luxor – when the Mummy not only seemed to know who Dredd was, but was also enthused to see him, as if the Mummy had been expecting him.

However, as I also said in my introduction, it all raises further questions. We’ll get to more of them in the next expository episode but for now Judge Kamun monologues to Dredd – while the latter is unconscious because Kamun just can’t help himself gloating – that he had “brought” Dredd here.

Here – as in the pyramid, for Chief Judge Giza’s funerary ceremony? Or to Luxor itself? Given what we learn next episode, Kamun is in league with the Mummy, essentially playing the role of Renfield to its Dracula, one would assume the latter – and that the Mummy killing Chief Judge Giza was setting it up.

Although that would imply that Kamun was in a position to pull strings to orchestrate a diplomatic exchange of Judges between Luxor and Mega-City One – that or a senior Luxor Judge or Judges in positions of power also in conspiracy with the Mummy – and also for himself to be the Judge assigned to Dredd in Luxor. However, the story itself doesn’t tell us that.

Also, lucky for Luxor that they happened to get Dredd himself from Mega-City One. Of course, Dredd is Justice Department’s most iconic figure, both in Mega-City One itself and in the 22nd century world, but that makes Dredd being picked for the exchange rather than any other Judge in Mega-City One rather remote. Of course, Chief Judge McGruder has issues with Dredd at this time and prefers to assign him on missions outside the city – but did Kamun or his co-conspirators know that? Or was it just more luck?

Anyway, as usual, the art is outstanding throughout, including the final panel of the Mummy lurching towards the pyramid to dine on Dredd. To quote the poet Keats, who are these coming to the sacrifice?

 

 

 

JUDGE DREDD CASE FILES 20:

BOOK OF THE DEAD 5 (prog 863)

 

“Drokk!”

Says it all really – like sands sealing the pyramid, so are the days of Dredd’s life…

Things aren’t looking too good for Dredd in this final panel, about to be buried alive by the sand sealing the pyramid to entomb the Chief Judge. It’s also the same fate as that for the Tek Judges as sacrificial attendants for Chief Judge Giza in the afterlife.

They at least have taken poison for a painless death before being swallowed up by sand, but it does lead to a nice exchange with Dredd as he looks for a way out of the pyramid chamber only to be told there is none – “What? Are you people crazy?”

In short, yes – for this insane level of verisimilitude in imitating ancient Egypt but that’s about to get worse.

But wait a minute, I hear you say – wasn’t Dredd zapped into unconsciousness as Kamun’s captive on the menu for the Mummy? How did he escape?

Well, this is the final panel of the episode, which indeed open with Dredd in chains as Kamun’s captive for the Mummy. As to how he escaped, Dredd did it like he always does – with an apparently superhuman feat of strength to break his chains, killing Kamun and an unnamed co-conspirator Luxor Judge.

But not before Kamun gives Dredd an exposition dump on the Mummy. Kamun tells Dredd that while most of the city follow the one god Yud – presumably like Grud for God, 2000 AD’s publication-friendly way of referring to Allah – he is part of a cabal following the “old gods…those ancient beast-faced gods”. Within this cabal, there were legends of “the return of a dreadful redeemer…Ankhhor, the dead-in-life, who found a method whereby his physical body could survive beyond death”.

You guessed it – that’s the Mummy. And luckily, Luxor dug him up. Yes, literally – when drilling for Luxor’s subterranean water. “I made sure I was part of the team of Judges sent down to investigate”.

And to fully restore himself, Ankhhor needs to suck Dredd’s ka. No, get your minds out of the gutter – his ka, “the genetic essence of men”, which sounds a lot different (and awfully advanced) for what I understood to be the ancient Egyptian concept of ka as the soul (or one of them anyway).

Which begs a lot of questions of why Dredd is contrived as the missing piece of the puzzle for an ancient undead entity to revive itself, even if he is one of Justice Department’s finest clones – but just go with it, okay?

Anyway, back to the final panel, time is running out – or rather the sand is running in – for Dredd…

 

 

 

 

JUDGE DREDD CASE FILES 20:

BOOK OF THE DEAD 6 (prog 864)

 

Dredd vs the Mummy – Round 2!

Nice of Ankhhor to save Dredd from being smothered by sand in the burial chamber first.

Of course, if you had just waited a little longer, Ankhhor, Dredd probably would have been smothered into unconsciousness and not put up a fight.

I suspect Ankhhor couldn’t risk Dredd dying as he has to suck Dredd’s ka au naturel as it were. No, not that – phrasing! – ka means soul or one of them anyway, as ancient Egyptian mythology had numerous soul components

It doesn’t matter since Book of the Dead adapts ka as genetic essence – which seems remarkably well informed for an ancient undead entity. It’s also why Ankkhor wants to suck Dredd’s sweet cloned genetic Judda juice. Hey – phrasing!

Anyway, Dredd literally headbutts Ankhhor and escapes through the passage from which Ankhhor burst into the burial chamber, before escaping the pyramid entirely with an Indiana Jones roll under the stone door sealing off the pyramid (until the next Chief Judge burial, I guess).

There’s a nice double take as Dredd thinks to himself that the stone door will stop Ankhhor for some time at least, but Ankkhor just bursts through it anyway – “I have waited three thousand years to be reborn as the lord of all the earth. Give me your fleshh!”

Eww.

Also – three thousand? It’s 2115 – so that would mean Ankhhor mummified himself in…885 BC or so. Well after the peak of ancient Egypt and well into its decline, shortly before being conquered by the Assyrians, Babylonians and Persians.

Dredd hits Ankhhor with a blast from Kamun’s rod – phrasing! At least, I’m presuming it’s Kamun’s rod but it would have to be a spare one as Kamun and his rod are back in the pyramid, after Dredd choked him out – hey, phrasing! It could be one that Luxor lent Dredd but the storyline made a point of Dredd using his own Lawgiver and its ammunition.

Dredd then flies away on one of those Luxor Lawmaster sky-chariot things that was outside the pyramid. I’m also presuming that it’s Kamun’s sky-chariot Dredd takes. Luxor definitely lent him one of those as we see him flying it side by side with Kamun to the pyramid for the burial, but the storyline seems to have forgotten that as we only see one sky-chariot outside the pyramid. If there were still two of them, Anhkhor could also have simply flown the other one after Dredd instead of leaping on the one flown by Dredd.

Fortunately for Ankhhor, he obviously was the long jump champion of ancient Egypt and makes the leap. Unfortunately for both of them, he and Dredd are thrown clear and fall from the chariot as they struggle over the Luxor skyline.

 

 

JUDGE DREDD CASE FILES 20:

BOOK OF THE DEAD 7 (prog 865)

 

“Grud! Guess I oughtta be grateful for the soft landing” Dredd’s got guts as he ends up in one of the worst parts of Luxor’s resyk.

Well, that was lucky – as was not being too high up that the intestinal soft-landing doesn’t injure or kill him.

That luck doesn’t last as Ankhhor plunges into the guts after him…

 

 

 

JUDGE DREDD CASE FILES 20:

BOOK OF THE DEAD 7 (prog 865)

 

“In defiance of death and all the ancient godsss of judgement, I will live again and rule! YOU ARE SSSIMPLY FOOD!”

Ankhhor explaining the rules in Round 3 of Dredd vs the Mummy – or the continuation of Round 2. It’s a little hard to tell – he’s worse than the Terminator and absolutely will not stop ever until he’s devoured Dredd’s ka.

Note to self – I really should do a list of antagonists Dredd has faced which see him as only food. There’s probably enough for a top ten – Ankhhor for one, but I can think of Satanus, the Black Plague spiders, and Nosferatu off the top of my head…

Anyway, back to Round 3 of Dredd vs the Mummy, it doesn’t start off too well for Dredd. The chain we see Ankhhor pulling here is connected to the gangway Dredd is on, breaking the gangway – and Dredd’s arm as he falls to the resyk conveyor belt.

Which prompts to mind the saying about costing an arm and a leg – as Ankhhor soon adds a broken leg to Dredd’s broken arm as Round 3 continues.

The episode closes out with things not looking too good for Dredd – with Ankhhor crouched over Dredd and poised to suck Dredd’s ka or life-force. Of course, being a comic, Ankkor can’t resist monologuing about sucking Dredd’s ka – and showing his surprising knowledge of genetics for a three thousand year old undead entity who has spent almost all of that time in a sarcophagus.

“I can almost tasste the honeydew of chromosomes, genes, the rich wine of your being”.

Which begs the question of why Ankhhor is almost tasting it as opposed to, you know, just tasting it rather than talking about it.

 

 

JUDGE DREDD CASE FILES 20:

BOOK OF THE DEAD 8 (prog 866)

 

“See, I figure there’s only one way to stop someone who can’t die. The Resyk way”

Would it work, though? An automated assembly line breaking down a body into its organic or even chemical components would seem hard to beat for killing an undead entity like the Mummy – or your average lich or vampire for that matter.

But what if the Mummy can regenerate from that? Luckily again for Dredd, it seems the Mummy can’t – but things might have been different if, say, it could regenerate from a single cell, like Junji Ito’s Tomie. Now there’s a match-up I’d like to see!

Wait, I see you say, what happened? We closed out the last episode with Ankkhor poised in victory over Dredd, the latter with a broken arm and leg.

Well, Dredd uses his good arm to pull out Ankkhor’s tongue in a scene I was sorely tempted to feature here – and then his good leg to kick Ankkhor into the automated resyk mechanism that dissects bodies into their components, hence my feature line and image.

And Dredd wins Round 3 – and the match – against the Mummy by resyk knockout.

Of course, it would have been more satisfying if Dredd’s victory had been less by chance than design – the happenstance that he and Ankhhor fell into Luxor’s resyk plant, rather than, say, Dredd deliberately luring Ankhhor to it. If they had fallen anywhere else, then Dredd would have been toast with his broken arm and leg. Having already quipped about Ankkhor as the Terminator, I suppose it’s not unlike the happenstance showdown of the automated assembly line at the end of the first film (or the smelting plant of the second film).

 

 

JUDGE DREDD CASE FILES 20:

BOOK OF THE DEAD 8 (prog 866)

 

“Shut it down! In the name of Grud, shut it down!”

These anonymous Luxor resyk workers don’t get enough credit as the true heroes of the story saving Dredd.

Dredd may have won his match against the Mummy – but it’s out of the frying pan and into the fire as Dredd is dragged into the same resyk automated mechanism that dissected the Mummy to its destruction.

Fortunately, the Luxor resyk workers overhear his cries for help and shut down the mechanism – which is particularly impressive as they don’t speak English and apparently ‘wake-up’ cases occur enough that the workers usually ignore them. Amusingly though, the note to the panel has “translated from the Egyptian” when it should be Arabic.

That wraps up Book of the Dead (except for a few panels effectively by way of epilogue). I also can’t help but think that Dredd’s quote reflected the reaction of fans to this story – as well as Morrison and Millar writing Dredd in general – at the time.

I can see where they’re coming from but I like Book of the Dead – as well as odd moments of Morrison and Millar writing Dredd – if only for Dredd vs the Mummy and Dermot Power’s sumptuous art of Luxor’s 22nd century retrofuturistic version of ancient Egypt.

 

 

JUDGE DREDD CASE FILES 20:

BOOK OF THE DEAD 8 (prog 866)

 

“What’s the matter, Rameses? Cut yourself shaving?”

And Dredd sees out the epilogue to Book of the Dead with his usual one-liners.

I suppose arguably that would make Rameses the third “mummy” Dredd encountered in this storyline, at least in appearance – the actual Mummy Ankhhor, the mummified corpse of Chief Judge Giza (killed by Ankhhor), and now the heavily bandaged Rameses.

Rameses was of course the Luxor Judge trading places with Dredd for this cultural exchange – I guess the streets of Mega-City One are tougher than Luxor. What puzzles me is how Dredd got speed-healing and Rameses didn’t – Dredd broke an arm and a leg during his fight with Ankhhor.

Also – I’m digging Hershey’s appearance here. Dredd of course has another characteristic one-liner to her asking him what happened with Luxor trying to feed him to one of their gods – “I didn’t agree with him. Now how about pointing me in the direction of some real action?”

And that’s a wrap on Dredd vs the Mummy in Book of the Dead.

 

 

Mega-City Law – Judge Dredd Case Files 20

 

 

JUDGE DREDD CASE FILES 20

Mega-City One 2115-2116

(1993-1994: progs 856-887 / Megazine 2.44-2.56)

 

We’re still in the darkest part of the Dark Age of Dredd (as written by Morrison and Millar) but there is one bright shining light in Case Files 20 – perhaps the brightest shining light in the entire Dark Age or Case Files 17-23.

I am of course talking about The Book of the Dead, the standout story arc in this volume or any other in the Dark Age.

It’s Judge Dredd vs the Mummy! What’s not to love?

It’s also our introduction to Egypt’s mega-city, Luxor – and what an introduction! The Luxor Judges may rank as yet another mega-city of villains but you have to love their uniforms – absolutely top tier, with their pharaonic chic.

It helps that it is illustrated throughout by artist Dermot Power, with some of his best art – or indeed, some of the best art featured in the Judge Dredd comic, up there with Brian Bolland. Hmm…note to self – compile my Top 10 Judge Dredd Artists.

Sadly, the same can’t be said of The Sugar Beat, the other exotic story arc introducing Dredd to another foreign mega-city – the Pan-Andes Conurb.

The Pan-Andes Conurb and its Judges had much potential – even if the latter were essentially just glorified security guards for the criminal sugar cartels – but instead that potential is squandered by what is arguably the laziest and most blatant stereotyping in the Judge Dredd comic. And we’re talking about that period of time in the comic’s history when stereotyping was most on the nose – after all, they had a Sov Judge named Traktorfaktori.

We’re talking literal flies buzzing about the Pan-Andes Conurb Judges – which is more the pity as they actually have one of the better uniform designs of foreign mega-city Judges, with condors instead of the eagles used in Mega-City One uniforms.

Now we get it – the Pan-Andes Conurb Judges are meant to be in the same casually brutal and corrupt category as the Judges of the only other surviving South American mega-city, Ciudad Baranquilla, the latter otherwise mimicking Mega-City One in their use of eagles in design. However, at least the Ciudad Baranquilla Judges have a genuine edge of menace and cunning to them, not to mention get some sly digs in at Mega-City One’s expense whenever there are dealings between the two mega-cities. The Pan-Andes Conurb Judges are just pathetic – literally fat and lazy in the case of their Chief Judge, seemingly in perpetual siesta but for when they are roused by corruption.

One wonders how these bozos survived Judgement Day when Ciudad Baranquilla just barely scraped by – and the two other South American mega-cities, Brazilia and South-Am City, went under and got nuked.

There are some other middling arcs and episodes, with points of interest but nothing to write home about – although enough to do brief recaps or reviews.

For arcs or stories of more than one episode, there’s the opening arc in Roadkill – but I’ll also briefly stop in on Frankenstein Division, The Manchu Candidate and Scales of Justice.

For episodes, we’ll have stopovers at Crime Prevention and Top Gun. However, as in Case Files 19, the Megazine stepped in with the standout episode – It’s a Dreddful Life.

 

 

JUDGE DREDD CASE FILES 20:

ROADKILL (prog 856-858)

 

Judge Dredd does a combination of Christine and, um, Robocar?

Yes – that’s a play on Robocop. I stand by my opinion – and I understand not only my opinion – that Robocop was inspired by Judge Dredd. However, in this particular story arc of three episodes, instead of putting a dead police officer’s brain (and what’s left of his body) into the titular cyborg, it’s putting a dead criminal’s brain into a car’s automated guidance system.

As you might guess, it does not work out too well.

The set-up for the plot involves elderly citizen Merv Whitstable due for his statutory eye test to retain his driving licence. Dredd pulls him over for a traffic violation (and gives him sixty days in an iso-cube). Dredd also advises him to use his nest egg savings to “invest in a new pair of eyes”.

Dredd would know of course – he’s had his own bionic eyes since losing his original organic eyes from gruesome injury all the way back in City of The Damned in Case Files 8 (nine years earlier in both episode publication time and in-universe time).

Although it is a little puzzling that 22nd century medicine has not extended people’s health more – as his licence indicates when Dredd pulls him over, Merv is 73, which you’d think would perhaps be comparable to someone a decade younger in our time. For comparison, Dredd is 54 at the time of this episode – and he’s in robust health. (It’s a little complicated – Dredd was “born” in 2066, but by virtue of acceleration during “gestation” in the cloning process was physically and mentally five years of age at “birth”).

There is a nice gag that Dredd could tell Merv’s eyesight was bad because Merv drove into a Justice Department vehicle park.

Unfortunately, his eyesight has deteriorated to the point he can’t pass the eyesight test for a driving licence. Instead of bionic eyes, his car dealer – who also strangely conducted the eyesight test and renews his licence – sells him and his wife the robo-car, or “living brain guidance system”.

And you guessed it – because they had limited money to spend, the dealer fobbed them off a “living brain guidance system” using a dead criminal’s brain. He’s nice enough to introduce himself to them – and for some reason is able to replicate his former face on their monitor – as Lenny-Lee Lucas, who we later learn was known as the Karaoke Killer, “part-time runner for the White Lotus Triad”.

“An’ boy-oh-boy…does ol’ Lenny have some scores to settle!”

For someone who finds himself posthumously as a car automatic guidance system, Lenny adapts quickly to his situation – with his first stop almost literally a pitstop at a local mechanical body shop to pimp out Merv’s modest vehicle (by holding one of their mechanics as hostage at, ah, bonnet-point against a wall, threatening to crush him). All this while holding Merv and his wife captive in their own car.

And by pimp out, I mean equip with wings and weapons, including missiles – which I’m not sure would have been part of the inventory of the average body shop, but then it is Mega-City One. As the Judge investigating the strange hold-up tells Dredd, the vehicle “demanded a full systems conversion and armaments fit-up” – which makes the latter sound relatively routine.

The investigating Judge also fills Dredd on the background as to how Lenny-Lee’s brain ended up in the car – “Vehicle is equipped with a Quantrak auto-pilot. Uses brains from repeat offenders. Med-Division supplies ’em straight from the slabs”.

As Dredd dryly asks, “whose bright idea was that?”

Apparently, it was Chief Judge McGruder’s as part of her business initiative for closer cooperation with private enterprise. In fairness, “the brains are wiped and reprogrammed from scratch. We got a 100% success rate. Well, we did have, up till today”.

It’s always that one glitch that ruins it. Anyway, Lenny-Lee is out for revenge on the Triad that left him out to dry – and die – on a botched organ bank job. You know how it goes – he essentially goes all Christine on them. Yes – that’s a reference to Stephen King’s demonic car of that name. Except Lenny-Lee likes to sing twentieth century songs as he kills people – hence his karaoke killer moniker.

Dredd apprehends Lenny the hard way – entangled by an anti-personnel net on the vehicle windscreen, he manages to extricate himself and cling long enough to the airborne vehicle in order to literally pull Lenny’s organic brain out the guidance system. Or as Dredd says, “time I got my hands dirty”.

So Dredd effectively kills Lenny for the second time but was injured by Lenny’s attempts to shake him – although not too badly by the standards of Dredd’s misadventures. It’s enough to wonder how he does maintain his robust health at his age.

Merv’s wife does less well – as in dead from cardiac arrest while held captive by Lenny. Merv himself does marginally better – paralysed from the neck down. My biggest problem with the story arc is that Dredd arrests him as “accessory to about thirty major variations” because the vehicle was registered in his name. I know Justice Department in general and Judge Dredd in particular are heavy-handed in their police state, but this just doesn’t seem to sit right – given that Dredd knows exactly what happened. Normally Dredd would target the dealer who sold Merv the automatic guidance system as the accessory or for criminal negligence – possibly even Subaro Autopods that holds the exclusive contract, or the Med-Division staff who supplied them.

To be blunt, Merv and his wife out of all the people involved were innocent victims – indeed, the only innocent victims as the people Lenny actually killed were Triad mobsters. Not to mention that Dredd used Lenny to lead him to the Triad gangsters who otherwise had eluded Justice Department.

Some names dropped not so much for blocks as for apartments – Arcudi for Merv’s residence, possibly a reference to comic writer John Arcudi, best known for his work on The Mask, which this story arc seems to invoke at times. Also – sigh – Sax Rohmer, author of the Fu Manchu books, for the Triad kingpin’s residence.

 

JUDGE DREDD CASE FILES 20: BOOK OF THE DEAD (prog 859-866) has its own page.

 

 

 

 

JUDGE DREDD CASE FILES 20:

FRANKENSTEIN DIVISION (progs 868-871)

I Hate Christmas (prog 867)

 

“An unholy amalgam of the Sov Judges who died in the Apocalypse War, Project X is the ultimate Judge with one mission in life…”

There – I’ve saved you actually reading the four episodes of Frankenstein Division.

I suppose I have to mention this story because once you see it you can’t unsee it but as you can tell, I’m not a fan.

You can guess the premise from the title and my feature quote – some weird Soviet project to create a Super-Judge from the best body parts of Sov Judges killed in the Apocalypse War. Which serves as something of a metaphor for writer Mark Millar picking over the pieces of the Apocalypse War to stitch together this monstrosity. At least when Garth Ennis warmed up his leftovers of the Apocalypse War, you very much had the impression he was a fan of the epic.

Not so much here. It makes no sense, not even as a weird play on Frankenstein. The Sov Judges who oversaw the project – Yeltsin and Andropov (sigh) – explain it to Chief Judge McGruder and Dredd.

But first – Yeltsin can’t even get the Apocalypse War right when fawning over Dredd. “It’s an honour to meet you, Judge Dredd. Though our mega-cities were once at war, you are a much respected figure in East Meg Two”.

Not so – at least with respect to East Meg Two and Mega-City One being at war. That was East Meg One – which was nuked by Dredd. There was a whole plot point in the Apocalypse War about East Meg One’s sister city not being involved in the war – it was how East Meg One kept Mega-City Two and Texas City out of the war.

I suppose it’s possible that Yeltsin could have been speaking as or on behalf of the East Meg One veterans who went to East Meg Two after the war – it was another plot point how Dredd just had the Sov Judges who surrendered and were taken prisoner dropped off at the site of their former city (with at least one Sov Judge announcing his intention to head to East Meg Two). But you’d think he’d say something more along those lines.

Anyway, it’s all downhill from here – and we didn’t even start high up. I’m talking the ridiculous plot of surgically combining the body parts of Sov Judges killed in the war into a literal superhuman Judge. How does that even work? How does it make him apparently invulnerable, since his body parts literally came from Judges who were killed?

When did the Sovs even ship back the bodies of their Judges killed in the war? And to East Meg Two, since any they shipped back to East Meg One would have been destroyed? And did they just put them on ice for all the years before Project X?

Drokk – even Dredd has a better explanation than the actual story. “So what’re we dealing with, Yeltsin? Some kind of robot?” That would have made for a better story – and perhaps help tied in with the dormant Mechanismo storyline, even reviving it to deal with the new threat. Or just cloning or genetic engineering.

Anyway, it’s “synthi-brain” malfunctioned and the Soviet Frankenstein escaped, with the single-minded pursuit of vengeance against Dredd for killing the Sov Judges making up its body. What – all of them? And yes, I know the story says so but come on. Did Dredd singlehandedly kill every Sov Judge in the Apocalypse War? Or just the “best” ones they just happened to use for Frankenstein Division.

Also – how do its body parts “remember” being killed by Dredd? The story kinda says they do – “Judge Dredd. The name on the badge. The last thing the Sov Judges saw when they died in the Apocalypse War – but again, come on. Surely that would at least have to involve the brain from those Judges. And if the Sovs created a “synthi-brain” for their Franken-Judge – then unless that too used the brains of fallen Sov Judges killed by Dredd – why is it consumed with the desire for vengeance against Dredd?

And yes – it’s Dredd vs Frankenstein for the showdown in the finale. Dredd wins when the creature stops to monologue, which serves it right for being a wordy monster – perhaps somewhat at odds with the inarticulate monster of the Frankenstein films, but on point for the monster in the book, which met its fate from going around quoting Paradise Lost.

Okay, okay – I’ll admit I’m a fan of the epilogue, where Dredd executes Yeltsin and Andropov after their Franken-Judge wreaked havoc on Mega-City One, with the endorsement of the Sov Chief Judge from East Meg Two disowning them and their Frankenstein Division. Dredd echoes the notorious scene from the Lethal Weapon film. Diplomatic immunity? It’s just been revoked.

British sitcom Oh No, It’s Selwyn Froggit is name-dropped for a Mega-City One block Dredd attends at the outset of the storyline.

And I skipped over the episode of I Hate Christmas in prog 867 – another Dredd Christmas episode with Dredd being grumpy about Christmas, notable only for another Judge going futsie (and Dredd having to take him out). Oh – there is a brief interlude at Gus Grissom Spaceport, named for an American pilot and astronaut, where Dredd cold-heartedly sends a stow-away from Simba City straight back, despite the man’s pleas about fleeing famine in the African Dustbowl.

 

 

JUDGE DREDD CASE FILES 20:

CRIME PREVENTION (prog 872)

 

“Standard psycho test revealed Stubbs to be a potential perp. 87% probability. Better we cube him now…” Judge Dredd does Minority Report by psych profiling.

That pretty much sums up this episode, although the Minority Report psych profiling thing MC-1 has got going in it doesn’t pop up again. That’s not surprising, since you’d imagine they’d have to pre-emptively cube almost all their citizens. I mean, who in MC-1 isn’t a potential perp?

There’s a interesting titbit in the opening of the episode – apples or at least apple trees would seem to be extinct, as Dredd recovers an apple stolen from the “Fresh Fruit Museum”, which suggests that enough fruit is functionally extinct to have a museum. Dredd’s reference to apples not growing on trees any more suggests that apples may originate from other synthetic sources, perhaps like the munce that is the main meat product in MC-1.

Anyway, one of the juvenile onlookers to Dredd arresting the apple-stealing perps is a fan. He tried out to enrol as a cadet Judge at the usual intake age of five but failed. Now he’s applying for the second round intake at age twelve – again a feature that seems to pop up in this episode but I don’t recall elsewhere. In fairness, that second round intake doesn’t qualify as street-Judge cadets, but does qualify for off-world Judges or Judges in the lunar colonies.

“All we had to do is pass a stringent psychological profile test”.

No prizes for guessing that test is just the cover story for the one to pre-emptively profile potential perps – or one for me for that alliteration. Needless to say, Dredd’s young fan – Ricky Stubbs by name – is sorely disillusioned about his hero. “Now I think he’s a monster”.

He has a point – the whole thing seems massively unfair, which may be why it never popped up again. Dredd doesn’t pass any sentence, which he does even for the worst actual perps, so it’s unclear what term of encubement Ricky has to serve. It may even be indefinite. Also, MC-1 does distinguish between juvenile and adult offenders, so 12 year-old Ricky should be in juvenile detention.

 

 

 

 

JUDGE DREDD CASE FILES 20:

THE SUGAR BEAT (prog 873-878)

 

I’d say Case Files 20 is giving us a treat with a second foreign mega-city after Luxor…but it’s the Pan Andes Conurb.

Sigh. It’s not that bad – spoiler: okay, it’s still pretty bad – but it can be goofy fun if you look at it just right and ignore some of the worst stereotyping of a mega-city. And since stereotyping is the point of mega-cities, that’s saying something.

The Pan-Andes Conurb and its Judges had much potential – even if the latter were essentially just glorified security guards for the criminal sugar cartels – but instead that potential is squandered by what is arguably the laziest and most blatant stereotyping in the Judge Dredd comic. And we’re talking about that period of time in the comic’s history when stereotyping was most on the nose – after all, they had a Sov Judge named Traktorfaktori.

We’re talking literal flies buzzing about the Pan-Andes Conurb Judges – which is more the pity as they actually have one of the better uniform designs of foreign mega-city Judges, with condors instead of the eagles used in Mega-City One uniforms.

Now we get it – the Pan-Andes Conurb Judges are meant to be in the same casually brutal and corrupt category as the Judges of the only other surviving South American mega-city, Ciudad Baranquilla, the latter otherwise mimicking Mega-City One in their use of eagles in design. However, at least the Ciudad Baranquilla Judges have a genuine edge of menace and cunning to them, not to mention get some sly digs in at Mega-City One’s expense whenever there are dealings between the two mega-cities. The Pan-Andes Conurb Judges are just pathetic – literally fat and lazy in the case of their Chief Judge, seemingly in perpetual siesta but for when they are roused by corruption.

Grud knows how these bozos made it through Judgement Day when two other Latin American mega-cities – Brasilia and Chile’s South-Am City – did not and Ciudad Baranquilla just barely scraped by. Even Ciudad Baranquilla has a certain brutal ruthlessness – these guys are just hopeless

Oh – and the premise of this arc involves growing sugar, classed as an illegal drug in Mega-City One, as an analogy for cocaine, although you wonder why they don’t just grow cocaine. Anyway, Judge Dredd is sent there to sort out the sugar trade from the Pan-Andes Conurb to MC-1 – and given that the PAC “Judges” are all in the pocket of the sugar cartel, that means sorting both the cartel and the PAC Judges as well.

 

 

 

JUDGE DREDD CASE FILES 20:

THE SUGAR BEAT 1 (prog 873)

 

Dredd’s stopping the sweet stuff hitting the streets of MC-1 at its source – the Pan Andes Conurb. “It’s high quality refined glucose, primo stuff”.

That’s the premise of the Sugar Beat, sugar as illegal drug in MC-1 being a stand-in for cocaine. Ah – can sugar grow at that climate? Why not just grow and traffic cocaine? Of course, this is a world in which the potato – the potato, originating in the very location of the Pan Andes Conurb – has gone extinct!

It amuses me that Dredd’s introduction to this new flood of sugar on to the streets of Mega-City One is the speed with which a mugger attempts to flee him. Attempts, as in Dredd shoots the mugger with a heat-seeker bullet, killing him. However, as Dredd observes during pursuit – “he’s fit, I’ll give him that” – and after shooting him – “kid was fast, too fast” – before solving the mystery with satchels of sugar. Um, I don’t think sugar works like that. It’s not a performance-enhancing drug or anything. Although maybe this twenty-first century sugar is, perhaps with genetic engineering?

Anyway, that’s where that primo stuff line comes in – from Chief Judge McGruder of all people, albeit quoting the “tech boys”, as she assigns Dredd his mission to stop the sugar trade at its source. Of course, as Dredd queries her, she has an ulterior motive for getting Dredd out of the city, reflecting the simmering tension not only between Dredd and her, but with other senior judges as her mental faculties continue to deteriorate.

Dredd touches down – presumably on one of the Justice line of official space shuttles. And that’s where we’re introduced to the Pan Andean Conurb judges in all of their stereotyped glory, lazy and corrupt, down to the flies buzzing around them. As I said, it’s a pity because despite the offensive portrayal of the Judges themselves, I actually like their uniform design.

The shoulder condors in substitution for the American eagles are a nice touch. They’re not top tier by any stretch – they seem to be from military fatigues rather than biker leathers and have non-standard footwear – but they beat the Ciudad Baranquilla uniforms, which wouldn’t look out of place in a Mardi Gras parade.

Dredd gets only bad jokes from the Pan Andes Conurb Judges – despite the promised “full diplomatic cooperation from the Pan Andes Conurb Justice Department”. When he asks them where his official transport is, they joke about Yankee’s pony (as well as calling him gringo) – presumably a reference to the pony in the lyrics of Yankee Doodle Dandy.

They’re not off to a good start with Dredd – and it only gets worse from here…

 

 

JUDGE DREDD CASE FILES 20:

THE SUGAR BEAT 2 (prog 874)

 

I guess Dredd just had a thing for pyramids at this time – he’s only recently back from Luxor but here he is checking into Sector House 12 in Pan Andes Conurb

However, the interior of the Sector House 12 pyramid is not as impressive – just Pan Andes Conurb Judges clubbing their hapless citizens

Also Judge Guacamole? Sigh. That’s pretty much as bad as Sov Judge Traktorfaktori. It’s like Judge Dredd doing Asterix.

The Sector House reception Judge tries to stall Dredd by having him wait for the Chief Judge but Dredd isn’t having any of it and just asks for the quickest route to the docks. Although I’m not sure why – does he know the cartels literally ship their sugar? It is the twenty-second century after all – although given how antiquated the Pan-Andean Conurb is, maybe they do.

And yes – Dredd does ask the name of “the freighter that’s been illegally transporting sugar to Mega-City One”, so I suppose he does know that. The criminals at the dock also knew he was coming, as the Sector House reception Judge tipped them off immediately that Dredd was out of earshot. So no surprise that Dredd is set upon by one of the heavies at the dock – although I am surprised that the heavy rebukes Dredd for his lack of jurisdiction. And impressed – they obviously have a high quality of mob muscle in the Pan-Andes Conurb docks, such as to dispute a legal point with Dredd. What’s more, as far as I can tell, the heavy is right – Dredd indeed does not have jurisdiction and just pulls his gun on the heavy. “This is all the jurisdiction I need”. The heavy swipes away Dredd’s Lawgiver and a melee ensues.

 

 

 

 

JUDGE DREDD CASE FILES 20:

THE SUGAR BEAT 3 (prog 875)

 

“The Cuba Libra, Condor Wharf, Pan Andes Conurb…a few of the locals are helping Dredd with his enquiries”

I love that opening panel – and I always love Dredd putting the smackdown on a gang of thugs trying to put the smackdown on him, as here in a classic bar brawl at a lowlife dive bar. I mean the low life gets pretty low in MC-1 – but it’s even lower here in the PAC

To give them credit, these street thugs are better antagonists against Dredd than are the PAC Judges, although everyone else in this storyline is as well. It’s why the PAC Judges just tip off everyone else to do their dirty work for them.

One of them even does the impressive feat of picking up a piano – yes, a literal piano – as a weapon to throw at Dredd. He might have done better picking up literally anything else as a weapon against Dredd or even just punching him with that strength.

As it is, Dredd questions him further as to the name of the freighter transporting sugar to Mega-City One, using the persuasive technique of dunking his head in the water off the docks – “hundreds of years of pollution have turned the Black Pacific into a deadly chemical cesspool”.

I know that’s the case for the Black Atlantic, which is almost as iconic a geographical feature as the Cursed Earth, but I seem to recall the Pacific faring better. In the Song of the Surfer prelude to the Oz epic, the Pacific was shown to be unpolluted – with Chopper even playing with unmutated dolphins. And in Babes in Arms, Mega-City Two was shown as having a beach life with its coastline on an unpolluted ocean.

Also, hundreds of years? Well, perhaps two hundred at most, from 1900 or so.

Anyway, the Pacific does the trick, polluted or otherwise – the thug fesses up with the name of the freighter, the Crazy Hoolio Ingracias, which I’m sure is a play on Spanish singer Julio Iglecias.

 

 

 

 

JUDGE DREDD CASE FILES 20:

THE SUGAR BEAT 4 (PROG 876)

 

“Count yourself lucky, Gonzalez. Think what I could’ve done if I HAD jurisdiction”

Judge Dredd – he is the Law! Even when he doesn’t have jurisdiction.

“Acting on intelligence from a concerned citizen, I had reason to believe that the freighter Crazy Hoolio Ingracias was involved in illegal sugar peddling”.

I love Dredd’s journal entries – it’s part of the humor of this story arc how his deadpan journal entries contrast with what we see in the comic, which in short is Dredd as one-Judge army descending on the Pan Andes Conurb and its sugar cartels.

The first casualties of Dredd’s one-Judge army, apart from the injured thugs at the docks (we later hear of fifteen civilian casualties of this episode), are the crew of the Crazy Hoolio – after they make the mistake of firing upon him in answer to his request to board them. Impressively, Dredd takes them out with one armor-piercing shot.

“The Crazy Hoolio ignored a clear warning to heave-to. I was forced to insist. Regrettably, I hit the ship’s magazine and my key evidence sank with all hands in the lethal waters of the Black Pacific”.

Dredd has no choice but to return to the Sector House of Pan-Andes Conurb Chief Judge, where Duty Judge Gonzalez remonstrates with him as to the casualties of his one-Judge war against the sugar cartels – ironically as it was Duty Judge Conzales who tipped off the dock thugs to Dredd in the first place.

Dredd has to call Chief Judge McGruder to get her to pull diplomatic strings with her counterpart in Pan-Andes Conurb – counterpart in title only that is, as Chief Judge Garcia is effectively a henchman of the sugar cartels. En route to the Chief Judge Garcia’s office, Dredd inflicts another casualty – slamming a door into an eavesdropping Pan-Andes Conurb Judge spying on his call with McGruder.

McGruder’s diplomatic string-pulling works quickly, albeit effectively sabotaged by the Pan Andes Conurb – as Chief Judge Garcia finds an antiquated twentieth-century helicopter as transport for Dredd, although that does come with its pilot Juan, the best character in the whole Pan Andes Conurb storyline. That’s not the only sabotage – as Chief Judge Garica personally calls the sugar cartel to tip them off “the eagle is on the wing”.

 

 

 

 

JUDGE DREDD CASE FILES 20:

THE SUGAR BEAT 5 (prog 877)

 

Okay – I’ll admit I’m a fan of this panel where Dredd finds himself massive outgunned in his derelict chopper by the Pan Andes Conurb sugar cartel air-gunship. As in, completely outgunned, because I’m pretty sure Dredd’s chopper doesn’t even have guns.

This episode introduces us to the other best character in this storyline (apart from Dredd’s pilot Juan) – Dredd’s antagonist and sugar cartel queenpin of the Pan Andes Conurb, Senora Testarossa. She takes her henchman, Chief Judge Garcia, to task because he remonstrates her that killing a Mega-City One Judge is insane. Testarossa points out to Garcia that if he’d covered his tracks, “we’d never be in this ludicrous mess”. She has a point but I’m not entirely sure how Garcia was meant to do that.

Not surprisingly, the Testarossa airship guns down Dredd’s chopper into one of the sugar fields, but Dredd manages to bail out with Juan at the last moment.

Dredd and Juan find one of the sugar refineries, which has a bomb set to blow up the intruders – somewhat inconsistently, as Senora Testarossa was complaining to her airship crew about the damage to the sugar crop from Dredd’s helicopter crash. I’m prepared to bet the sugar refinery is much more expensive to replace than a small area of sugar cane fields.

 

 

 

 

JUDGE DREDD CASE FILES 20:

THE SUGAR BEAT 6 (prog 878)

 

Dredd does a plea bargain with Senora Testarossa, sugar cartel queenpin of the Pan Andes Conurb.

Of course, she tried to kill him first. The explosion of the sugar refinery didn’t take – Dredd and Juan survive it, although implausibly Dredd leaves his Lawgiver behind for Juan to retrieve. Instead, it blows a hole in the cartel’s own defenses, such that Dredd is able to infiltrate their command bunker.

There he faces off with Senora Testarossa’s two bodyguards, dispatching them with a little help from Juan – although when I first read it, I thought Juan was helping one of them, tossing him Dredd’s gun. To be honest, I’m still not clear about that. Sure, a Justice Department Lawgiver is palm-printed to its Judge to avoid unauthorized use…but did Juan know that?! Anyway, it has the effect of incapacitating the bodyguard, as the Lawgiver blows up in his hand as it is designed to do from unauthorized use – maiming him with the loss of his hand.

Anyway, Dredd simply has to invoke what will happen to Testarossa at the hands of her own customers when she defaults on their sugar purchases – which makes me think he deliberately blew up the Crazy Hoolio – for her to agree to a plea deal. In this case, involving incarceration for her own protection.

 

 

 

 

JUDGE DREDD CASE FILES 20:

THE SUGAR BEAT 6 (prog 878)

 

“That GIVES me jurisdiction”.

The Sugar Beat wraps up as we all knew it would – with Dredd arresting most of the Pan-Andes Conurb Judges for corruption, based on the testimony of Senor Testarossa.

Dare I say it, it all works out pretty sweet for Dredd. He gets to return to the Pan-Andes Conurb in style, flying back in the Testarossa air-gunship. He even gets back at the two PAC Judges who joked to him about a pony when he arrived, arresting them for corruption and commandeering their vehicle – “there’s always the pony, pal!”.

And returning to Sector House 12, he arrests Chief Judge Garcia and most of the other Judges there, which he quips will keep the Mega-City One penal colony on Titan busy for a year. Sadly, he also arrests Juan – “piloting an unlicensed obsolete aircraft for personal gain”, “failure to file preservation order for said aircraft” and “unauthorized handling of official Justice Department weapon”.

Really, Dredd? The only person to actually help you – well, not under your duress – in Pan Andes Conurb?

Anyway, the story concludes with Dredd implying that he will stick around as the interim system of justice for the Pan Andes Conurb as “most of your Judges are now in the cubes”, in the fine tradition of Mega-City One imperialism. Actually, we see MC-1 do a fair bit of what we might describe as imperialism in the Judge Dredd comic. However, Dredd seems to get back to Mega-City One quickly as we see him there in the very next episode. In fairness, while a year of the Judge Dredd comic corresponds to a year in real time (only, you know, 122 years ahead of us), the passage of time between individual episodes can be somewhat amorphous – not necessarily the week implied by their weekly publication.

 

 

 

 

JUDGE DREDD CASE FILES 20:

TOP GUN (prog 879)

 

“Drokk! Check the size of that gun!”

“Neat wheels, Judge Dredd!”

Tek Division designs a prototype Lawgiver and Lawmaster like that car by Homer Simpson. The Lawgiver – the standard Justice Department gun – was not as bad, but the Lawmaster – the standard Justice Department motorcycle – was clearly overblown.

Needless to say, it does not too work out too well with Dredd – and in similar terms to Homer’s costly over-designed car. It gets the Tek Judge responsible for it “doing twenty for criminal negligence” on Titan.

In contrast to Homer Simpson’s car, the new Lawmaster looked okay in the shop so to speak – even Dredd said so at first glance:

“Tek Division are just applying the finishing touches, Dredd. This model comes with ground-to-air missiles and jet-ski option. Boys reckon it’s capable of anything up to six hundred kilometres an hour.”

On second thoughts, I don’t know how any of those options are going to be useful in hyper-urban Mega-City One. Where are they going to use the jet-ski option? The Black Atlantic?! Also, note the influence of the British writers over the American setting – kilometres rather than miles and spelt the British way as well!

It’s soon put to the test – a full on iso-cube breakout, hijacking three Justice Department vehicles no less – and fails almost straight away, with the engine catching fire. Strangely, the Lawgiver gun also catches fire. Dredd calls in for a burns unit to be on standby – “I may need medical attention”.

As it turns out, Dredd takes out each of the hijacked vehicles – and their escaped perp hijackers – with the Lawmaster’s missiles or the Lawmaster itself, on kamikaze autopilot, without needing medical attention. “Forget it – wasn’t as bad as it looked.”

Although perhaps Dredd should not have dismissed that burns unit, as he lays down some major burns on Tek-Judge Stone – “Lousy. Their malfunction cost an estimated three hundred dead – extensive public and private damage.”

I’m assuming those casualties and that damage is from the over-destructive effect of the explosions from the missiles or the Lawmaster. I don’t know, Dredd, I’m not sure all of that can be blamed on Tek Division, given you fired those missiles and commanded the Lawmaster as effectively another kamikaze missile…

 

 

 

 

 

JUDGE DREDD CASE FILES 20:

THE MANCHU CANDIDATE (progs 881-883)

Under Siege (prog 880)

 

Justice Department turns on itself as the Wally Squad or undercover Judges send one of their own as an assassin to take a shot at Chief Judge McGruder, in what seems like a potential Wally Squad coup.

I’m shocked! No, seriously. I normally would have expected it to be the SJS or Special Judicial Squad – the Slytherins of Justice Department. But they’re loyal to McGruder as she used to be SJS, rising to its head position and seat on the Council of Five.

Not that there is a Council of Five anymore, since McGruder did not reinstate it when returning to office after Necropolis. That’s the actual subject of argument between McGruder and Dredd when both are officiating at an Academy of Law graduation of cadets as rookies. Dredd proves loyal enough though when foiling the assassination attempt at the graduation, although the assassin manages to escape through disguising himself as a cadet Judge. That tips Dredd off to the identity of the assassin as a Judge, while he and McGruder deduce it to be a Wally Squad Judge.

Dredd gets a lucky break as he is further tipped off by a violent incident at Laurence Harvey Block – named for the actor who played the brainwashed US soldier in The Manchurian Candidate film – and soon traces it to the one Wally Squad operative in that block, who is indeed the assassin, Landslide Otis.

The story takes a bizarre twist. When the assassin dies in a shootout with Dredd as Dredd apprehends him, he’s revealed to be a Sino-Cit plant or sleeper agent – hence the title Manchu Candidate. What’s more – he tells Dredd in Chinese “I was only a patsy”

But how? How did he infiltrate Mega-City One, let alone the Judges? And presumably as a child cadet – apparently with “massive facial reconstruction” to disguise his Chinese appearance

Also but how was a patsy? Is Sino-Cit trying to assassinate McGruder? But…it seems to be a genuine conspiracy by the Wally Squad gone rogue? We actually see the would-be assassin’s Wally Squad superior (and handler) giving him the orders

So did the Wally Squad know he was Sino-Cit or was it just coincidence? Was the Wally Squad using Sino-Cit or vice versa? What’s more, it’s a Chekhov’s Gun – or the Sino-Cit equivalent, obviously set up to foreshadow conflict between Sino-Cit MC-1…but it never went off

I think the writers were planning or working towards just that, some conflict between Sino-Cit and MC-1 as the next crisis or epic storyline – remember War Games in prog 854? – but it just fizzled out and they abandoned it.

I skipped over the episode Under Siege in prog 880, which involved a storyline we’ve previously seen in Judge Dredd – the computer running Michael Portillo Block for the super-rich (with the block apparently named for a British journalist and member of Parliament) goes berserk and starts killing its residents with its own security systems.

 

 

 

JUDGE DREDD CASE FILES 20:

SCALES OF JUSTICE (progs 884-885)

 

Judge Dredd does Mad Max: Beyond Thunderdome. No, not the cool part with the Thunderdome. The part with the lost tribe of children – or cadets in this case.

That’s pretty much it. Dredd is sent to investigate a distress signal from the Cursed Earth. It’s from a Justice Department H-wagon that went down with cadets on board, although weirdly Dredd refers to that occurring in the Apocalypse War and elsewhere the story refers to it as 18 months earlier (which makes more sense). So unless it’s a flashback story or the reference to the Apocalypse War was meant to be a reference to something else, perhaps Inferno or Judgement Day…?

Anyway, there’s two rival factions within the lost cadets – one hardline faction effectively seeking to set itself up as Judges in the Cursed Earth, blaming Justice Department for abandoning them, and the other that seems to be holding to the standards of Justice Department until rescue. They both lose, although a girl from the latter saves Dredd’s life from the former – and the mutie raiders who gatecrash the party.

 

 

 

JUDGE DREDD CASE FILES 20:

THE ENEMY BELOW (progs 886-887)

 

Few 2000 AD artists depicted abominations quite so eldritch as Clint Langley.

This particular eldritch abomination is a mutant creature that seems to have infiltrated the iso-cubes under the Grand Hall of Justice that Dredd had ordered to be flooded during Inferno. So Dredd takes it out when he goes diving in the flooded iso-cubes to manually activate or work the pumps to clear out the flooding.

 

 

 

 

 

JUDGE DREDD CASE FILES 20:

IT’S A DREDDFUL LIFE (Meg 2.44-2.45)

Bury My Knee at Wounded Heart (Meg 2.46)

You are the Mean Machine! (Meg 2.47)

Freefall! (Meg 2.48)

Do the Wrong Thing (Meg 2.49)

Giant (Meg 2.50-2.52)

Howler (Meg 2.53-2.56)

 

And we wrap up Case Files 20 with my favorite Megazine episodes in it – as the title indicates, it’s Dredd doing It’s a Wonderful Life in a two-episode storyline.

Dredd appears to be transported by the ghosts of his past to an alternative world in which he never lived, narrated by Judge Death as host. “Judge Dredd. This is not your life. Come hither, enter the lawless zone – a world where you never existed!”

(That’s not an exact quote – I edited Death’s sibilant hissing).

It’s a fun tour through the history of the Judge Dredd comic, a dark alternative timeline without Dredd but which remains eerily familiar to the one we know. Technically speaking, there is a Judge Dredd in this timeline – but it’s Rico, not the Joe we know.

In this timeline, Rico does the Cursed Earth mission to Mega-City Two – but uses the serum to extort to become Chief Judge of Mega-City Two, with a little help from his friends, which strangely includes tyrannosaur Satanus as his loyal pet. There’s a nice gag in which Spikes, seemingly Rico’s companion for the Cursed Earth mission as he was for our Dredd, is riding Satanus while dangling a bound Tweek as carrot for his “horse”.

Chief Judge Cal comes to power back in Mega-City One, as he did after our Dredd’s return from the Cursed Earth mission, but harmlessly chokes on a bone from Deputy Chief Judge Fish after ordering Fish on the menu in a tantrum towards his beloved pet.

Psi-Judge Anderson died, presumably in her encounter with Judge Death in their mutual introduction in the comic – and we also see a “victorious” Death grappling with the futility of exterminating all life as a solitary Dark Judge. Even at the rate of one cull per minute, it will take 800 years to eradicate the existing human population – setting aside the birth rate and other living creatures.

We see Judge Hershey as an honorary angel in the Angel Gang – angel in the sense of Victoria’s Secrets angel, serving them up drinks in cowgirl lingerie – with the Judge Child held captive in a jar. Back in Mega-City One, Otto Sump has some bizarre business partnership with P.J. Maybe, while Radlands of Ji ninja assassin Stan Lee is a film star (aptly enough, given the influence of Bruce Lee and Stan Lee for his name).

Judgement Day still happens, ending Chief Judge Rico’s racket in Mega-City Two – and sending him riding Satanus away from the nuclear sunset. And Judge Death’s quest to judge life as a crime become even harder when the dead come back to life.

So not surprisingly the other Judge Dredd villains aren’t too happy with Sabbat and gang up on him – in the art we see Rico, Judge Death and the Angel Gang, as well as a Klegg (presumably Cal’s Deputy Chief Judge Grampus), an East Meg One Judge, renegade Judge Grice, Black Atlantic pirate Captain Skank, and Call-Me-Kenneth. It’s something of a premonition of the Helter Skelter storyline to come.

It also turns out to be a hallucination – from an illegal hallucinogenic substance in a vendor’s pie, although I’m not sure why Dredd took a bite from it in the first place, other than plot contrivance. The vendor is outside Frank Capra Block – a nod of course to It’s a Wonderful Life.

As for the other Megazine episodes:

  • Bury my Knee at Wounded Heart (Meg 2.46). The title is of course a play on Bury my Heart at Wounded Knee. It involves a citizen with the surname Knee trying to bury his wife – died from old age – at Wounded Heart private cemetery, burials of course being a rarity with Mega-City’s Resyk
  • You are the Mean Machine (Meg 2.47) is a Choose Your Own Adventure style as Mean Machine Angel. Of course, the only correct answer involves your signature headbutt
  • Freefall! (Meg 2.48) involves the tragic thoughts of a leaper as she plummets to her doom
  • Do the Wrong Thing (Meg 2.49) is an obvious play on the Spike Lee film Do The Right Thing, featuring a heatwave at Danny Aiello Block, a nod to the actor in that film
  • Giant (Meg 2.50-2.52) sees Giant – that’s young Giant or Giant Jr – graduate from rookie to Judge, in a case involving the return of Walter the Wobot gone wogue, I mean rogue, advocating Call-Me-Kenneth’s robot revolution.
  • Howler (Meg 2.53-2.56) involves an overpowered alien trying to take over Mega-City One or at least the Sump Tower Hotel. Funny – I was today years old when I realized that Otto Sump was (or adapted to) a parody of Trump. Also, overpowered alien tries to take over Mega-City One – or at least take on Judge Dredd – is a storyline that recurs surprisingly often.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Finally, I note that I was unable to play my usual drinking game of matching the Case Files volume cover art to the interior panel art – and that’s because, after using Google Image search, I was able to match it to the cover of prog 853 as featured. That prog was actually an episode collected in Case Files Volume 19 – indeed, three episodes before the ones collected in this volume – as the final episode of the Inferno storyline (so the cover art did not relate to that episode either). Still, since I did end up matching the Case Files Volume cover art to its origin, I suppose that counts for a shot in my drinking game…?

Mega-City Law – Judge Dredd Case Files 19

 

JUDGE DREDD CASE FILES 19

Mega-City One 2115

(1993: progs 830-855 / Megazine 2.27-2.43)

 

Our next stop is Case Files 19 but just make sure to remain near the Mega-City Law bus – we won’t be staying here long.

 

That’s right – we’re perhaps at the darkest part of the Dark Age of Dredd, when Garth Ennis passed the torch as main writer to Grant Morrison and Mark Millar. As I said previously for the Dark Age of Dredd, this was often seen as a low point for Judge Dredd and the 2000 AD comic in general.

 

Don’t get me wrong – I like Morrison and Millar as writers, indeed as two of my favorite writers of comics…just not for Judge Dredd here. For whatever reason, they just weren’t the best fit for the character or 2000 AD comic at this time (although both had written some of their best work for 2000 AD), particularly as a writing team duo.

 

Although don’t get me wrong about that either – I do like some of their Judge Dredd episodes or storylines even at this time. There’s just slim pickings from those collected in this Case Files volume.

 

The standout for me was easily the episode War Games – not least for its introduction of the Sino-Cit Judges – although sadly subsequent episodes did nothing with its premise, either the pending crisis predicted by Psi-Division (in eighteen months, maybe less) or the “aggro-drug” they experiment on with Dredd to prepare for that crisis.

 

Ironically, the Megazine episodes collected in this volume offer up the runner-up for standout episode with Revenge of the Egghead – ironically, that is, because for me the (monthly) Judge Dredd Megazine is generally secondary to the (weekly) regular 2000 AD issues, but because we’re dealing with the Dark Age of Dredd here, the Megazine episodes often stepped up to take their place.

 

Anyway, there were some other episodes or arcs of interest collected in this volume – the Muzak Killer returns, as does another recurring antagonists penned by Garth Ennis, Johnni Kiss.

 

The episodes in Case Files 19 did feature an epic storyline – epic that is, in length as it consisted of 12 episodes, albeit towards the shorter end of Judge Dredd epics. Not so epic in terms of story quality – I am of course talking about Inferno, which I’ll mostly be passing over with a couple of panels or so. Among other things, it set in place something of a trend for the space penal colony of Titan, reserved for Judges who break the law, to become almost as bad a revolving-door prison for escapees as Arkham Asylum in Batman. Well, perhaps not quite that bad but still annoying – and at least a recurring problem in general for Mega-City One.

 

There was also the return of the Mechanismo robot judge storyline in the Megazine. Heh – more like Meh-chanismo, amirite?

 

 

 

JUDGE DREDD CASE FILES 19:

ENTER JONNI KISS (prog 830)

 

Judge Dredd vs John Wick. Well not really (and not quite yet) but similar in the whole legendary assassin thing.

Okay, okay – I have to admit Case Files 19 opens with a bang and badass assassin Jonni Kiss looks cool when introduced, although everyone looks cool when they’re in art by Greg Staples.

And okay – he proves to be more dangerous than other antagonists for Judge Dredd. That is, when we return to him after his introduction here – two years later or so in the Goodnight Kiss arc compiled in Case Files 23.

But we’ve been here before – the badass or cool hitman or assassin pitted against Judge Dredd, often doing surprisingly well or even seeming to take Dredd out but then doing the Bond villain thing of gloating over him rather than just shooting him already.

Drokk – we’ve even done the exact same foreshadowing in an introductory episode a few years before returning in a longer story arc to kick Dredd’s ass but drop the ball just before touchdown. Remember Wu Wang – or as I like to call her, Lady Deathfist, out to avenge martial artist Stan Lee? Yeah – they did the same thing for her.

Let’s face it – Dredd has faced and will continue to face a long line of badass or skilled assassins, agents, bounty hunters, hitmen or just someone with a grudge against him, all with a bullet (or something) with his name on it, arguably going all the way back to his own clone-brother Rico. Grud – there’s probably enough for their own top ten – Top 10 People Out to Get Dredd or even just Top 10 Judge Dredd Assassins & Hitmen. As Dredd himself says when he hears someone is out to get him or has a grudge, they’ll just have to get in line to take their shot.

Indeed, the Megazine episodes compiled in this same volume include a parody of that same character type of the badass cool assassin out to get Dredd – Slick Dickens, amusingly written as a character of that type written by a Mega-City One citizen, which of course sees him repeatedly jailed by Dredd (although you suspect Dredd’s secretly a fan),

In fairness, Jonni Kiss does better and is better at it than most, as evidenced by his trophy wall of Judge badges.

And he is introduced with a literal bang – assassinating no less than East Meg Two’s Supreme Judge Traktorfaktori. Sigh – I liked him and he seemed a decent sort when introduced into the Glasnost storyline. And yes – Judge Dredd continues its 90s trend of names for foreign Judges seemingly straight out of Asterix. It gets worse in this episode – as we hear of two rival contenders for succession, Riboflavin and Markimarkov, although at least it gives us the great line from Dredd “one Sov’s as bad as another.”

Of course, it helped that Trakforfaktori seemed to be well past it and that Kiss had a little help from some Gila-Munja mutant offshoots, although he double-crosses them, I wouldn’t put it past the Sovs that he had a little inside help as well, given the lax security we see here – possibly one of those rival contenders or even just anyone from the Diktatorat because that’s just how they roll.

But in fairness, Kiss does seem to be the best at what he does – taking out the Supreme Judge as well as the Gila-Munja out for revenge. And those were just test runs to prove his worth for his real target – who is of course Dredd. Although weirdly Kiss seems to go in for a good old-fashioned fax for receiving his instructions, even though those instructions are literally just the one word “DREDD”, setting up his subsequent appearance…

 

 

JUDGE DREDD CASE FILES 19:

THE GREAT BRAIN ROBBERY (progs 835-836)

The Judge Who Lives Downstairs (prog 831)

The Chieftain (prog 832-834)

 

Judge Dredd’s memories are so bad they literally make your head explode!

Why? “Because they’re all bad, meathead”

No, seriously – that’s the plot twist of the two-episode storyline, The Great Brain Robbery, and I am here for it, even if it does not make sense or seems impossible in biology or physics.

I mean, this story is a hoot, both in its premise and plot twist.

Yes, the premise involves yet another new crime driven by technology – memory theft (or thought theft as it is called in the episodes), courtesy of the neuron extractor. Although I don’t recall it featured anywhere else other than these two episodes, which might reflect how flawed its premise is as a crime when you look at it too closely.

We’re introduced to it through a Mega-City ‘tap’ gang, literally mugging one of MC-1’s many down-and-out citizens of his memories. In fairness, they seem a cut above the usual street gang.

For one thing, they carry it out in broad daylight on a crowded street. Sure, they seem to be relying on that common tendency to look the other way, even in our contemporary cities, let alone the dystopian giant mega-city city of the future – particularly where the victim is someone socially invisible like a homeless beggar. That’s further explained by the narration in the second episode – which notes that half of the Judge force has been wiped out by Necropolis and Judgement Day, so “the creeps are making the most of it”.

For another, this memory-mugging gang has more resources than your average street gang. Apparently that’s because memory theft has a high-end market, with rich citizens paying big to live vicariously through the stolen memories. That’s the part that doesn’t make sense to me. The lives of the overwhelming majority of Mega-City One’s citizens – at least 90% – are defined by their dystopian quality of grinding welfare dependency and drudgery.

Why would Mega-City One’s richest citizens – who can afford to actually live top-end experiences – want to buy memories of lower-end experiences? Sure there may be some thrill of ‘slumming’ it in someone’s crappy memories. More probably, there may be the thrill of experiencing some violent crime that is the other definitive feature of life in Mega-City One, although one anticipates that the market would be more for memories of perpetrators rather than victims, as the equivalent of playing some video game like Grand Theft Auto. However, the narrative makes it clear that the neuron extractor only extracts a few memories and that it’s a matter of potluck which ones you get.

More to the point, the subject of the stolen memories actually referred to in the storyline are mostly banal – “best memory my supplier ever sold me was one of picking up this measly account’s clerk med bills”. Sheesh! That guy can buy all my crappy memories. Although I do like the drug analogy.

Anyway, at least the main antagonist of the storyline – Vito Colletta – has the right idea for a target with memories that promise to be exciting. That’s right – it’s Judge Dredd. After all, we read the comic for excitement.

The memory thieves get their opportunity from Dredd doing his usual thing – going in solo into a city sector gone wild. Chief Judge McGruder initially tells him “you’re going to need serious backup” and the withering look he gives her is priceless. (She immediately retracts her statement – “Uh–no offence, Joe…!”).

 

 

Anyway, that gives the memory thieves the chance to do a drive-by shooting with the neuron extractor. They only get a “handful” of memories but that’s apparently worth “at least 5 mil”. Although I’m a little worried – does this mean that Dredd has lost those memories? Going by that homeless victim we see in the story, it does. On the bright side, Dredd does end up apprehending the rich receivers behind the memory thieves and they have some device to play the memories, so he could have used it to restore the stolen memories.

That of course brings me to that plot twist. Vito Colletta tries on Dredd’s memories for size – after not only reneging on paying anything for them, let alone 5 million, but also having his henchman literally throw them off the building. No honor among memory thieves, I guess.

Anyway, as I said, Vito tries on Dredd’s memories for size – “Judge Dredd’s memories! The action of Necropolis–crossing the Cursed Earth in a killdozer. Soon I’ll have the memories of a hero!” – and they blow his mind. Literally – as in his head explodes. And just before Dredd raids them too, hence his line to the rest of the memory receivers, to which he adds “Guess that creep wasn’t tough enough to handle ’em!”

And yes I skipped two stories

 

  • The Judge Who Lives Downstairs (prog 831) – A fun little episode of Dredd doing the rounds in his home block, Randy Yates Block, which the episode notes is “the safest place to live in Mega-City One”. No surprise there.
  • The Chieftain (progs 832-834) – an ex-Brit Cit ranger from Cal Hab (Caledonian Habitation Zone) on a roaring rampage of revenge in Mega-City One. He even has a weaponized bagpipe droid that kills with sonic waves – the Psycho-Piper, a “tight focus sonic disruptor on a robot chassis”. Dear Grud. Still – probably sounds better than regular bagpipes.

 

 

JUDGE DREDD CASE FILES 19:

MUZAK KILLER – LIVE! (progs 837-839)

 

Video killed the radio star – the Muzak Killer’s back and this time he’s live! And again in that glorious Dermot Power art!

Yes – it’s Marty Zpok, back from when we last saw him a couple of years back in Case Files 16. I mean, there’s only been a global zombie apocalypse in the meantime but not much seems to have changed for Zpok and the 22nd century ‘muzak’ he hates.

Well, except of course, he’s doing time in the cubes from his run as the Muzak Killer, when he targeted a thinly veiled version of the 1990s English music producers Stock Aitken Waterman and their expatriate Australian artists from the long-running (and highly popular) soap opera Neighbours, foremost among them Kylie Minogue.

Apart from time in the cubes, that has also seen him as the butt of the running gag in these episodes – being called “sad”, as in pathetic or a loser. It starts slowly and subtly with the abuse of his fellow inmates – as they beat him up in the shower, leaving him with a gap-toothed grin from a missing tooth like Mad Magazine’s Alfred E. Neuman for the rest of the story – but escalating to pretty much everyone, including Dredd, calling him out as sad or pathetic.

As “sad” as he is, his luck changes as we find out the Muzak Killer has his own fans. Not many of them to be sure, but quality counts over quantity for fans that are willing and able to break him out of prison in an aerial raid, led by his biggest fan called – what else? – Indiana Saddoe, presumably yet another play on the recurring gag of Zpok being sad. The raid doesn’t exactly go without a hitch. Unluckily, Judge Dredd happens to be in the vicinity and a well-aimed hi-ex shot takes out the “stratorover”, although Zpok and Saddoe survive the crash to escape to Saddoe’s apartment.

And from there they plot – well, mostly Zpok plots and Saddoe just goes along with it like the saddo he is – to hijack a ‘vid’ broadcasting station and broadcast Zpok’s war on muzak live. Needless to say, it does not go well for them, although it ends in a surprisingly lucky turn of events for Zpok. Lucky lucky lucky!

 

 

 

JUDGE DREDD CASE FILES 19:

MUZAK KILLER – LIVE 1 (prog 837)

 

I’ve already covered most of the first episode in my introduction to this arc but the first episode concludes with Saddoe and Zpok holed up at Saddoe’s apartment.

Interestingly, Saddoe is such a fan that he’s even purchased a copy of Zpok’s original Muzak Killer outfit from the first story for Zpok to wear in this one. (Of course, Zpok was wearing his original outfit when apprehended by Dredd). Nothing is said – we just see Zpok wearing it as opposed to his iso-cube regulation clothing so Saddoe must have bought it for him in advance.

 

Sadly, Zpok is less impressed with Saddoe’s music collection, even though it’s “the hippest alterni-music vibes in the Meg). For Zpok, all new music is muzak – “Exactly, Indy. Lesson one – music is only cool when it’s old.”

 

Although he contradicts himself with the very next words out of his mouth – “Down to business, Indy. How’s the music scene doing? Who’s big? Must be some pretty good bands about, since I wiped out the bad ones!”

 

O well – I suppose we shouldn’t look for consistency in the mind of a deranged killer. I suppose he could be talking about covers bands…

 

Anyway, that prompts Saddoe to reply that “lots of new muzak stars popped up and took over from the dead ones”.

 

Zpok is incredulous – “Eh? They didn’t even notice me?”

 

Well yes, they did – but not in any good way. Saddoe produces all of the “press clippings” from the so-called Ramsay bop or Zpok’s first murder spree (weird to think that there’s still paper press clippings or no digital scans in the twenty-second century). And upon reading them Zpok is barraged with descriptions of how pathetically sad he is…which makes him angry.

 

To appease him, Saddoe sees if there is any news of Zpok’s escape on the vid news and sure enough there is. Even better, Zpok rebounds with a newfound sense of purpose upon seeing the latest ‘vid’ entertainment show, Word Up, featuring live muzak. Now he’s a man with a plan – “Heh heh heh…Indy, my boy? You and I are going to be vid stars”.

 

I just love the look on Indy’s face, which says it all really…uh oh. 

 

 

JUDGE DREDD CASE FILES 19:

MUZAK KILLER – LIVE 2 (prog 838)

 

“Oh my drokking Grud!”

I mean, haven’t we all wanted to take a monster chainsaw to that one annoying ponce mouthing off about us? You know the one. And this was before social media – now you could cut through whole swathes of online critics.

Joking aside, I can’t help but feel that writer Garth Ennis or artist Dermot Power are using the Muzak Killer to work through some issues here. That journalist – David O’Steven – has an awfully distinctive appearance. I suspect there’s some inner joke in his name or appearance that I just can’t get through the dust of all these years later.

Anyway, David O’Steven was the journalist whose gutter press writing about the Muzak Killer’s last appearance enraged Zpok on reading it – “Marty Zpok’s slaughter of muzak stars proves just how sad some people are. The love of a good woman might help – but he’s so sad he’s probably never had a girlfriend, the sad jerk”. So there you have it – Judge Dredd did i-n-c-e-l-s first by decades.

And as luck would have it, prompted by Zpok’s escape, he’s writing – or dictating – more of the same when Zpok decides to pay him a visit with Saddoe in toe. Well, you can guess how that goes, particularly with that chainsaw. Mind you, you’ve got to love O’Steven’s last words – “I’ll print an apologaaaagh!”. Sorry Dave, I’m afraid you can’t do that.

Meanwhile, Dredd is hot on Zpok’s trail, although it’s hard to miss. As Dredd observes – “I’m in O’Steven’s hab, Control – he’s all over the place.” Let’s say the visual image of the panel matches that.

However, as we know, Zpok has bigger plans than petty personal revenge – or perhaps rather bigger plans that overlap his petty personal revenge against the world of muzak. And those plans involve hijacking the popular vid broadcast Word Up.

A quick tangent – we see the host of Word Up interviewing “aging star Conrad Conn”. Now there’s a blast from the past – Conrad Conn featured all the way back in The Day the Law Died (as collected in Case Files 2), as Mega-City One’s most popular vid star conscripted by Chief Judge Cal to star as Cal in the Chief Judge’s video ode to himself. That’s what I love about Ennis writing Dredd – you can tell he was a real fanboy for the classic early episodes.

Anyway, that’s what Zpok and Saddoe do – hijack the vid broadcast. Saddoe takes over the control room, with a randomizer to block the Judges from jamming the broadcast (and to keep the control room robots and staff broadcasting at gunpoint). And Zpok’s our host, after throttling the actual host Gerry Hindu and shooting female co-host Kati Mukkrake.

And you know – I think he may have missed his calling as a vid broadcast host, because he’s quite entertaining. Perhaps he and Mega-City One’s muzak industry might have been happier if he’d gone that route as a host of a music vid broadcast, a metaphorical Muzak Killer as it were with snide snarky criticism of muzak stars he doesn’t like. Sadly now he’s the literal Muzak Killer – and as he announces to his live audience, he’s just getting started with the show’s guests…

 

 

JUDGE DREDD CASE FILES 19:

MUZAK KILLER – LIVE 3 (prog 839)

 

“And now…the end is near…And so I face…the final curtain”

Well it’s time to wrap up this show – and by this show, I mean the vid broadcast Word Up hijacked by Marty Zpok a.k.a. the Muzak Killer. He must have known how this would end but he planned to go out with a bang – you might say he did it his way. Indeed, he does more than say it – he sings it, which I found quite surprising since I hadn’t picked him for a Sinatra fan. I mean, I know he liked old music – it’s his moniker after all – but I thought he preferred the different genre of classic or alternative ‘rock’.

And as I said, he goes out with a bang – indeed, several of them. He killed the two broadcast hosts last episode and now he gets started on the guests. Mairaid McSlaphead – I’m pretty sure she was a parody of Sinead O’Connor. Demanda – another of the broadcast’s hosts. Clarence from the Crazy Sked Moaners – not sure of the reference, but ironically he kills himself trying to carve the word ‘real’ into his forehead with a las cutter. Not sure we can chalk that one up to Zpok’s tally, although arguably Zpok egged him on – and you have to admit Zpok quipping “that’s not how you spell real” is funny. In fairness, it wouldn’t be easy getting the letters right on your own forehead.

Zpok gets another good gag in when he asks Anni O’Boge, sister of Syreen O’Boge whom he killed in the ‘Ramsay Bop Massacre’, about her sister “two years ago”. She starts to answer him but belatedly recognizes him – “Hang on a mo’…ain’t you the bloke who…?”. “Yep” says Zpok as he shoots her.

Quick side bar – Anni would presumably be a parody of Danni Minogue, sister of Kylie Minogue parodied by Styreen. And I hadn’t noticed before now that the ‘Ramsay Bop Massacre’ would also be a reference to Ramsay Street, setting of the Australian soap opera Neighbours, beloved in England and from which Kylie and her fellow ‘muzak’ pop stars originated.

Anyway, that’s the last shot Zpok gets in – as Judge Dredd has answered the call by Justice Control to attend the studio, shot Saddoe, and had the hostage studio staff shut down the broadcast (bypassing Saddoe’s jammer).

Which brings us to Zpok singing My Way with its apt lyrics – and Dredd brings down the curtain with a gunshot to the head. “Sad, creep.”

 

 

JUDGE DREDD CASE FILES 19:

MUZAK KILLER – LIVE 3 (prog 839)

 

But wait – there’s more. I can’t resist this epilogue (“six weeks later”) of how Marty Zpok learned to stop worrying and love the muzak.

 

Of course it helps that Dredd’s headshot effectively lobotomized him.

 

Lucky, lucky, lucky.

There’s two episodes after Muzak Killer, which represented Garth Ennis handing over the reins of primary writing duties to the duo of Grant Morrison and Mark Millar:

  • Tough Justice (prog 840), penned by Mark Millar, in which juves exchange the equivalent of campfire horror stories about Judge Dredd embodying the titular tough justice to scare one of them straight (sadly too late as Dredd catches them trying to dispose of a blaster)
  • Down Among the Dead Men (prog 841) also penned by Milar – in which grave-robbing seems to make a 22nd century revival, except snatching corpses from Resyk for medical students. Except…isn’t most medicine done by robots?

 

 

JUDGE DREDD CASE FILES 19:

INFERNO (progs 842 – 853)

 

I should be excited.

Firstly, Inferno is a Judge Dredd epic, albeit of twelve episodes rather than the usual ‘full’ epic length – the first epic after Judgement Day and yet another existential threat to Mega-City One (as well as potentially to other mega-cities), made more dire by how much Justice Department was weakened by Judgement Day.

Secondly, it’s Grant Morrison’s debut as primary writer for Judge Dredd, taking over (in tandem with Mark Millar) from Garth Ennis.

I should be excited but I’m not. That’s because Inferno is distinctly underwhelming. I’m not entirely sure why – it hits all the right beats for a Dredd epic, but yet feels strangely by the numbers, like Morrison was phoning it in. As indeed it felt for his and Millar’s run as the primary writers on Judge Dredd and 2000 AD – as much as I enjoy both writers for their work elsewhere (indeed Morrison’s earlier story Zenith for 2000 AD remains my second favorite comic of all time, second only to Judge Dredd), ranking them both in my Top 10 Comics, they just didn’t seem to be the right fit here. I’m not the only one that regards their run as where the Dark Age of Dredd was at its darkest, although it still has its highlights – but Inferno isn’t one of them.

It’s essentially a jailbreak – from the penal colony of Titan back to Mega-City One. How anyone pulls this off is beyond me, but Inferno started the trend for Titan as some sort of revolving door prison IN SPACE, rivalled only by Arkham Asylum in Batman for ease of escape or riot (or both). Even worse, the jailbreak effectively happened off-panel before the epic, in the prequel Purgatory by Mark Millar featured separately in the Megazine.

By his own admission, Morrison wrote Dredd simply as “just a big bastard with a gun”, but despite some tantalizing glimpses to the contrary, Morrison also wrote the antagonist – ex-Judge Grice returned from his exile and imprisonment for his conspiracy against the referendum and Judge Dredd back in The Devil You Know / Twilight’s Last Gleaming – equally as one dimensional “bastard with a gun”. Except, you know, not just a gun but also armed with an apocalyptic virus. I’ll give him ram-raiding the Hall of Justice with a spaceship for style though.

I tend to agree with the observations of the Dredd Reckoning blog about Inferno:

“Instead, there’s so much horribly clumsy writing here. Morrison asks us to believe that Grice’s small team of disgraced, hobbled ex-Judges could drive all the current Judges out of the city (off-panel); that the Grand Hall of Justice is built directly on top of iso-cubes; that Dredd would unblinkingly slaughter a building’s worth of prisoners rather than allow them to potentially be freed (although “it was only a parking offence!” strikes me as a very Morrisonian joke…that the Titan escapees would be packed on board a “pre-programmed robot ship” (cough) so Dredd could blow it up; that the Statue of Judgement is perched adjacent to the Cursed Earth, i.e. on the western border of Mega-City One (hint: it’s directly adjacent to the Statue of Liberty, which is on the eastern edge of North America); that the Judges would have an oh-well attitude to germ warfare decimating the population of MC1 (“fewer citizens means less crime”–er, that’s Judge Death’s position); that, after killing a bad guy in a career-record gruesome way, Dredd would go for a James Bond-style one-liner; that hand-to-hand combat between Dredd and Grice could settle the entire problem…”

I also tend to agree with the observation that Wagner’s Day of Chaos not only was an effective sequel to the Apocalypse War, but was “also in some ways, a vastly improved variation on a lot of the plot devices of Inferno…It involves psychic premonitions of doom, germ warfare, turncoat Judges, the Statue of Judgment and Hall of Justice attacked)”

Still, it did have some classic Ezquerra art, so I’ll essentially go from one art highlight to the next while being as economic with the epic’s storyline as possible.

 

 

JUDGE DREDD CASE FILES 19:

INFERNO 1-2 – Inferno / Titan Fall! (progs 842-843)

 

“Death from the skies!”

Sigh – Psi-Division being useless as usual without Anderson.

Okay – I have to admit that’s a badass introduction to Inferno in the final panel of the first episode.

And you have to give it to the epic that it hits the ground running – literally ram-raiding the Hall of Justice FROM SPACE!

And it’s badass introductions all round this episode – not least for Judge Dredd himself, as he takes out the Bazooka Brothers, a dubious duo using their titular weapon of choice to destroy shops or something.

But before Dredd, we’re introduced to Psi-Judge Janus – literally on her 19th birthday. Although that just shows how useless Psi-Division is that this raw Psi-Judge, presumably fresh out from graduating as a cadet, is their replacement for Psi-Judge Anderson (on mission off-world). I mean, she’s, like, likable enough – that’s a play on her Valley Girl verbal mannerisms by the way – but she’s no Judge Anderson.

Sadly, Psi-Division is even more useless than that as they also have to rely on a secondment from another mega-city – which sees the first introduction of an Indian mega-city, Delhi-Cit (sometimes written as Nu Delhi), and an Indian Judge, Psi-Judge Bhaji.

It’s his precognitive dream quoted in that panel – “death from the skies”. Bhaji is only marginally more useful than Psi-Division. I mean, at least he had some precognitive alert to the impending disaster about to strike Mega-City One – although apparently “every single Judge in Psi-Division had the same dream” but it’s not exactly helpful advice in terms of warning or preventative action, is it? It’s even less helpful timing as it’s literally just before it happens. That’s barely precognitive. It’s like Lisa Simpson tells a fortune teller in one episode – wow, you can see into the…present. That dream is barely better than looking out the window.

Or screen in this case, as Mega-City One detects fifteen incoming spaceships as the second episode opens – after the reader has been introduced to the epic’s antagonist, ex-Judge Grice and his fellow escapees from Titan, “carrying a deadly germ weapon, the meat virus”.

Which seems to have a nearly instantaneous effect in the dispersion area as they use their ships to ram raid the Hall of Justice and other buildings. We see a Judge Noonan succumb to it as she reports back from Mick Travis Block – named for a fictional film character. “Rapid…toxic…effects!”

We also see Grice swooping in with a jetpack – “This is your wake-up call, Mega-City One!”

I guess that space prison time on Titan left a little to be desired for rehabilitation.

 

 

JUDGE DREDD CASE FILES 19:

INFERNO 3-4 Descent into the Maelstrom! / Kill or Cure! (progs 844-845)

 

“No! It was only a parking offence! My Grud! It was only a parking offence…!”

Classic Morrison gag, although not up there with his best one-liners – for that, you have to go to Zenith.

Anyway, Grice and his renegade ex-Judges overwhelm Justice Department with their spaceship ram-raids – and above all the “meat virus”, apparently a weaponized virus they were developing on Titan. McGruder tells the other senior Judges in the Hall of Justice bunker that they have about an hour before showing symptoms – masks are useless as it spreads through the skin.

Still not sure how Grice’s few ex-Judges and spaceships are able to achieve the spread – of ex-Judges, ram raids or the meat virus – to overwhelm the entire Justice Department throughout Mega-City One but there you have it. There’s also Citi-Def but the writers forgot them for the other recent crises of Necropolis and Judgement Day as well.

There’s a grisly scene replaying that brutal torn apart by horses thing you see as a trope in pre-modern torture or execution. You know the one – where you have four horses pulling in opposite directions on a rope or chain to each of a person’s limbs. Except here of course they use Lawmasters – begging the question of how they bypassed the security protocols of the Lawmaster computers. You know, being ex-Judges convicted and sent to Titan.

Anyway, Grice and his renegade Judges ram-raid the Hall of Justice itself, as well as pumping the gas with the meat virus through the vents. McGruder orders a strategic evacuation – but says they can’t “afford to let Grice free the prisoners in the iso-cubes”. Um – why? As in why would he free them? And why can’t they afford to let him free the prisoners – would they really be reliable allies for Grice, or allies at all? Although it does give us that parking offence gag, as Dredd orders the cubes to be flooded. Since when did the Hall of Justice have iso-cubes? And follow-up question – why are they rigged to be flooded? Fortunately, the flooded cubes do serve a more useful – and less callous – purpose later in the epic.

We get to see Judge Hershey pull a big damn heroes moment similar to McGruder gunning down zombies in Judgement Day, but for the renegade judges threatening to gun down the evacuees, Dredd and McGruder among them. She also has a H-wagon, begging the question of where every other H-wagon in the city is and what they are doing.

As they fly away in the H-wagon – apparently part of a general and implausible retreat by all Justice Department outside the city, something which has never occurred in any crisis before or since – McGruder explains the meat virus. An alien virus (from actual dead aliens on Titan), Justice Department were developing it as a weapon. Secondary stage symptoms are sores appearing on the skin a couple of days after infection – more seriously, they all have two weeks to live as that’s when the terminal tertiary stage symptoms or complete tissue breakdown appears unless the antidote is administered before then. (And it has to be before the tertiary stage).

You’d think Justice Department might have had some antidote in Mega-City One in case something went wrong on Titan…but no. You’d be wrong. Of course, Grice and his renegade ex-Judges have the antidote. So that probably explains why McGruder heads off on a Lawmaster, presumably to make amends for her lapse of judgement – perhaps offering herself up to Grice in return for the antidote – and Dredd pursues her.

 

 

JUDGE DREDD CASE FILES 19:

INFERNO 5-6 – Long Live the Chief Judge! / Judges with Grudges (progs 846-847)

 

“Long live the new Chief Judge! Long live the Lord of Misrule!”

That’s ex-Judge Grice’s declaration of usurpation, as he usurps the position of Chief Judge in MC-1.

Of course, Dredd is having none of it – “When are you gonna get sick of the sound of your own voice, Grice? ‘Cause I’m already sick of it.”

Before we get there, episode 5 opens with the narration – “Forced out of Mega-City One by Grice and his renegades, the Judges have established a makeshift encampment in the Cursed Earth”.

By makeshift encampment, it means H-wagon parking lot – and by Cursed Earth, it means literally parking their H-wagons right outside the walls of Mega-City One.

The whole scenario is implausible, but perhaps above all that this entire epic makes it seem that the entirety of Mega-City One consists of not much more than a short stretch of the West Wall. Hence, Grice’s ridiculously small force of ex-Judges straight outta Titan in a ridiculously small flotilla of ridiculously small spaceships was able to eject all the Judges from Mega-City One – an Atlantic seaboard super-conurbation of 400 million from New Hampshire to North Carolina – and apparently to the one encampment as H-wagon parking lot outside the West Wall.

It gets worse. Dredd saves a citizen about to be randomly killed by two of Grice’s renegade Judges – and by randomly, it means because the citizen’s ‘eyes are too close together”. Really? Surely Grice’s renegade Judges have some motivation beyond terrorizing random citizens for no reason? Or at least something better to do? Like some sort of plan or orders from Grice?

After saving the citizen, Dredd directs the citizen to report to the cubes “when this is over” for doing nothing more than pleading with the renegade Judges “what do you want?” and offering them “everything I’ve got” – “I’m giving you six months for attempted bribery”. Really? They weren’t actual Judges but renegade ex-Judges and hence criminals – something Dredd is at pains to point out when the epic plays this scene again almost beat for beat a few episodes later, albeit more true to Dredd’s character dealing with the citizen he saves in that scene. Dredd wouldn’t charge a citizen being robbed by other citizens for trying to offer the robbers what they want because of their actual or threatened violence (although he might charge a citizen for flaunting wealth as enticement) – that’s essentially the nature of robbery. Of course, this is an example of how Morrison misfired with the character in this epic, essentially parodying Dredd as embodiment of the Law consistent with his catchphrase, except Dredd isn’t enforcing the Law so much as some deliberately obtuse distortion of it. And even if Dredd was obtuse enough to effectively charge victims of a crime as a party to it, it makes no sense or strategic timing for him to do so here.

Meanwhile, McGruder is being beaten up by Grice as he taunts her – “What did you think you were doing coming here, McGruder?”

Um, he has a point – what was her plan? Presumably it was offering herself up to Grice – but you’d think she planned to do so in exchange for something. You know, perhaps Grice handing over the antidote to the Judges? Or the citizens?

Anyway, Grice offers an exchange – her life for her loyalty to him, which we also saw him offer to that Judge he had dismembered by Lawmasters. Um, what was Grice’s plan here if she accepted? Which she should have – or more precisely feigned it to buy time to get the antidote or plot against Grice, hence my query what was Grice’s plan here if she accepted. Hence the query of what her plan actually was offering herself up to Grice – and what Grice’s plan was if she accepted his offer.

Fortunately for him, she neither has a plan nor accepts his offer, so instead he decides to use her for a much more dramatic and demoralizing display in the style of the Mongol conquests – which, come to think of it, his violent takeover of MC-1 resembles. Or perhaps more in the style of defenestration – except for throwing her out a high storey window, he just launches her on her Lawmaster off the Wall in full view of the aghast onlooking Judges.

Hence his declaration of usurpation. That might have been more interesting as some sort of declaration of anarchy – Lord of Misrule – or some sort of inversion in the style of a Department of Injustice, but Morrison doesn’t do much with it.

McGruder is a tough old bird – she survived injuries in the Apocalypse War, she survived her Long Walk in the Cursed Earth, and she survives this, albeit barely and with critical injuries.

And Dredd picks this moment to somehow materialize on top of the Wall for a dramatic showdown with Grice. Um – what was Dredd’s plan here, exactly? Yes, yes, it’s literally a baseball bat as we see a couple of episodes later. But what was his plan?! I’m so confused!

Anyway, it works out as well as you’d expect for him, given the showdown is only halfway through the epic. Which is to say, not too well, as Grice and his fellow renegade Judges easily best the sickened Dredd. Dredd is saved by a literal deus ex machina – well, literal ex machina anyway – in the form of Walter the Wobot, who also materializes out of nowhere, and out of a prolonged absence since his regular appearances as Dredd’s comic sidekick (which also seems misplaced here). Walter manages to get him out of the City (through some strange shafts or tunnels in or through the Wall) to the Cursed Earth – where it’s a case of out of the frying pan, into the fire as a horde of cannibal mutants attack them…

 

 

JUDGE DREDD CASE FILES 19:

INFERNO 7-8 – Death Dance! / Trial by Fire (progs 848-849)

 

“I got my plan right here!”

Okay, okay – I admit it. I can’t help but like this panel – the best of the epic – even if it doesn’t make sense.

I mean, his plan is a baseball bat?! Usually Dredd has better plans than that.

Also where did he get the bat? He literally just woke up in a makeshift hospital bed in the Justice Department encampment (where they didn’t take his helmet off).

I’m not done with the bat as his plan. Yes, yes – I know it’s Dredd announcing that he’s still in the fight (“who’s with me?”) but a literal fight? That is, a one on one, hand to hand – or rather bat to bat – smackdown with Grice? You know, the same plan as before, that saw him end up in the hospital bed, except with…a bat? You know you have a gun, don’t you, Dredd? Which if you had simply used last time you confronted him – shot first and spoke later – it would now be over. Instead, you did the whole  “I’m taking you in” routine which made no sense – as Grice even said and he had a point. And you only ended up in a hospital bed by grace of deus ex machina in the form of Walter – and Psi-Judge Janus tracking you before the mutants ate you.

Oh yeah – that’s how episode 7 opened. Dredd is about to be eaten by cannibal mutants after Walter helped him out of the city – but Psi-Judge Janus leads a team of Judges to find him and gun down the mutants. “Judge Janus picked up your psi-profile and led us to you”. Hence the hospital bed.

In the meantime, we do have some entertaining internal villain monologues from Grice, who in his usurped position of Chief Judge appears to have become completely deranged, combining the capricious psychopathy of Chief Judge Cal with the omnicidal mania of Judge Death. No, seriously – he muses happily to himself of the death of the entire population of Mega-City One – “Everyone has to die. No one is innocent” – before taking it on world tour. “And then Grice will stretch out his hand to touch and corrupt each of the great mega-cities in turn”.

I mean, replacing the eagle head with a skull on the Chief Judge uniform is something of a dead giveaway (heh).

Surprisingly, there’s only one sane man among his renegade ex-Judges trying to take him out before he kills everyone – “Grice has gone loco! He just wants to kill everythin’ now. Figger he reckons he’s Judge Death or sumthin'”. Unfortunately, he only has one flaky co-conspirator who betrays him to Grice, so Grice has him “executed” (along with the co-conspirator). By chainsaw.

I guess Dredd’s bat is looking better now…

 

 

JUDGE DREDD CASE FILES 19:

INFERNO 9-10 – Here Comes the Judge! / Girl Trouble! (progs 850-851)

 

You know I love a good panel of Dredd’s catchphrase – “I am the Law!”

Also roll credits as Grice replies – “Welcome to the Inferno, Dredd. Burn in hell!”

That’s at the end of these two episodes. Before we get there, we left episode 7 with Dredd heading off, a man with a plan with a bat in his hand, to beat up Grice.

In fairness, this time the epic does Dredd right as he saves a female elderly citizen from two renegade Judges. They were extorting fines from her under pain of execution, but as she pleads with them that she has not money, they switch to killing her as penalty “for flaunting poverty”. Although you’d think the renegade Judges, having the run of the city, could pick more lucrative targets. You know – banks, corporations, wealthier city blocks. But no – I guess street mugging it is.

At least this time there’s no nonsense from Dredd about charging the citizen. Instead he tells her – “On your way, citizen. Anyone you meet, tell ’em Judge Dredd is back!”.

Meanwhile, Grice has been busy setting his own charges – explosive charges on the Statue of Judgement. And yes – he detonates them, bringing the Statue down on top of a large section of the West Wall and tearing it down, conveniently right in front of the exiled Judges encamped outside the Wall. This becomes their cue, spurred on by exhortations from Psi-Judge Janus and Judge Hershey, to charge in and take back the city. Although – couldn’t they have just gone in with Dredd through the underground access he used? Or just flown in on the H-wagons which Hershey exhorts to get “rolling” into the city.

Somehow Bundy, the extremely butch chief henchperson of Grice, manages to find and get the jump on Dredd. Finally he uses his gun to just shoot her, as he should have done with Grice those few episodes back, albeit after the cavalry arrives in the form of Hershey and other Judges. RIP Bundy.

And that brings us to Dredd hunting out Grice for another showdown as the latter is getting started on burning down the Hall of Justice with a flamethrower, declaring there is no law – hence Dredd’s signature catchphrase. Although once again you could have just shot him, Dredd, rather than announce your presence. You’re even shown pointing your gun right at him (with Grice busy flamethrowing in another direction). It’s easy – you just did it with Bundy.

Anyway, there goes the element of surprise again as Grice turns his flamethrower on Dredd.

 

 

 

JUDGE DREDD CASE FILES 19:

INFERNO 11 – White Heat! (prog 852)

 

I’ve come to that time in my Mega-City Law recap when I play my Dredd drinking game – matching up the Case Files volume cover art with the comic panel art.

And what glorious art! By Brian Bolland of course – you can see his signature peeping out from under the 2000 AD title logo, meaning that it wasn’t the comic panel art but the comic issue cover art, Bolland’s specialty by that time.

Unfortunately – and unforgivably! – Case Files 19 does not include this cover, seemingly breaking the rule for Case Files volume covers including art from the episodes compiled in them, and usually compiling the Dredd cover art (where issues featured it as opposed to cover art for other storylines as 2000 AD is an anthology comic), typically at the end of the volume.

Worse, it was the cover for the wrong episode, symbolising what a mess this epic was. As you can see from the cover (if you zoom in), it was the cover of prog 848 – which was the seventh episode of the Inferno epic (titled Death Dance).

 

 

The cover art would actually appear to correspond to prog 852 or the epic’s 11th (and second last) episode – particularly this scene evoking the titular inferno as Dredd confronts Grice (again) while the latter is burning down the Hall of Justice with a flamethrower.

My assumption is that Bolland was given the description or draft art for this episode by inadvertence or mistake for the cover art of the earlier episode which featured nothing like this scene.

This scene also shows us how Dredd gets out of this one. He shoots the floor – for which Grice mocks him in this panel – into the flooded iso-cube cell hallway conveniently right below him, allow him to escape by swimming (and extinguishing the fire while he’s at it).

Dredd retrieves his Lawmaster and has another showdown with Grice outside the Hall of Justice. He finally just shoots at Grice, but then seems reluctant to get another shot in to finish Grice off, allowing Grice to go hand to hand with Dredd – seemingly poised to strike the final blow to Dredd…

 

 

JUDGE DREDD CASE FILES 19:

INFERNO 12 – Mortal Kombat! (prog 853)

 

Grice comes to a grisly end at the wheels of Dredd’s Lawmaster – and so too does Inferno with that Bond one-liner “What’s the matter, Grice? Feeling run down?”

If there’s a running theme (heh) to Inferno, it’s that protagonist Dredd and antagonist Grice spend too much time monologuing at each other rather than just finishing the other off or just shooting him. At least Dredd breaks the habit enough here to have his Lawmaster finish Grice off first before shooting off his one-liner.

And that pretty much wraps up Inferno, but for the usual epilogue bits. As the episode itself narrates, “Grice’s coup is collapsing” – and the coup finishes collapsing with the Judges led by Hershey regaining the city and either killing or capturing Grice’s renegade ex-Judges from Titan. And I suppose also whatever Judges defected to him in the city itself, presumably for the antidote – Grice mentions them but we never see any. What we do see is the last of them – Grice’s renegades – loaded onto a robot-crewed spaceship to be shipped right back to Titan.

Oh – and Hershey casually mentions that they won’t be able to produce enough of the antidote for all the citizens, so there’s going to be a death toll. How many? Who knows, other than Hershey quipping resyk will be working overtime and Dredd quipping back fewer citizens means less crime. It’s lazy writing. Just like we never see when or how the Judges captured the antidote from the renegade Judges – it would have been nice to feature a panel to show this, perhaps even some surrendering renegades offering it up for amnesty.

Speaking of amnesty, you didn’t think they were really shipping the renegade Judges back to Titan, did you? Where presumably they’d just escape all over again, maybe next week? Not on Dredd’s watch! Yeah…Dredd’s not doing that Batman putting the Joker back in Arkham Asylum and the whole revolving door prison thing. Instead he pushes the button and pulls a gotcha on the Titan escapees.

 

 

Nice if somewhat predictable twist but did he really have to waste the ship and robots for it, not to mention the elaborate ploy? And so Inferno ends with a bang – although really epic itself was a story not with a bang but a whimper.

 

 

JUDGE DREDD CASE FILES 19:

WAR GAMES (prog 854)

 

“Judge Dredd! For crimes against justice — you are sentenced to death!”

Finally – a bright shining light in the darkness that is Case Files 19 with my favorite episode, at least among the regular 2000 AD episodes and apart from the Megazine.

Unfortunately, it does have its problems and I’ll get to those, but they do not so much arise from the episode itself as the failure to do anything with it subsequently (and its timing as the very next episode after Inferno).

But what’s not to love about that very first panel, with our very first look at the Chinese or Sino-Cit Judges, rendered in superb art by Paul Marshall? Of course, that would be Sino-Cit 2 as Sino-Cit 1 was overrun by zombies in Judgement Day and nuked.

I mean, just look at them! Those uniforms come very close to knocking off those of the Sov Judges and Mega-City One Judges from their pedestal as my favorite. But for the fact that we don’t see them again for many episodes (as I have difficulty recalling their reappearance in the regular episodes) and then only after changing their uniforms, they might well be my favorite Judge uniforms.

I believe that they toned down the uniforms – which is frankly outrageous. If anything, they should have toned them up! But they’re perfect as they are. I note that there appears to be two regular Judge uniforms and one in a more senior or commanding position, although both uniform designs are in the red and yellow designs of the present Chinese flag.

As for the regular Judges, there’s the helmets styled in the traditional conical Asian design. The dragons as shoulder pad similar to the eagle for Mega-City One Judges. The Chinese characters which I presume to be their name, similar to the badges for Mega-City One Judges. The only issue I have is the shuriken belt buckles – which are a bit too much and also a potential source of injury.

The senior or commanding Judge has a similar coloring and design – but with some big boss shoulder pads going on and a dragon helmet. He also has skulls on his collar and badge, suggestive of perhaps a similar role to the SJS in Mega-City One, as well as a giant Chinese character on his chest.

And we’re still just in the very first panel – but I haven’t finished admiring it. You just have to love that grin on the Sino-Cit Judge on the right.

Of course, it’s the Sino-Cit Judges that are in trouble here. It’s that old adage – Dredd’s not locked in there with them, they’re locked in there with him…

 

 

“Not just Sino-Cit Judges, imperialist pig!”

Sino-Cit Judges and Sov Judges and stomm – oh my!

Yes, yes – just bask in that glory of Paul Marshall’s art in these panels from this episode, particularly as we have so few episodes like it in Case Files 19.

Despite being strapped into what appears to be an electric chair for his execution by the Sino-Cit Judges, with a leap Dredd is free! And suddenly armed with two Lawgivers to take them out instead, allowing us to get a look at the back of those Sino-Cit Judge uniforms and see they’re even cooler with the yin-yang symbols on the back.

But no sooner has Dredd escaped from the Sino-Cit Judges, calling for backup from Control (“We’ve got a nest of Sino-Cit Judges right here in Mega-City!”) then he is ambushed by a nest of Sov Judges, prompting an expletive of “stomm” from Dredd.

Or dare I say it, the stomm-bomb! So little used compared to the much more popular f-word substitute drokk. I believe stomm is the s-word equivalent. You often get a good drokk in Judge Dredd but you rarely get a good stomm. Mind you, we also get a good drokk coming up…

 

 

“You failed, Dredd! Welcome to hell!”

Sino-Cit Judges and Sov Judges and drokking hell – oh my!

Out of the frying pan, into the hellfire. The Grand Hall of Justice in flames and Dredd overwhelmed by SJS zombies.

 Just what the hell is going on?!

 

 

And it was all a dream!

Well, by dream I mean experimental psychotropic drug hallucination.

If anything, that’s even darker in some ways than the literal hellscape we saw in Dredd’s drug-fuelled nightmare vision – and as much as I love this episode, that’s where my problems with it start.

Not so much with the darkness of it – that Justice Department is prepared to resort to some extremely callous calculus from grim desperation. The callousness is obvious with the pile of poor chumps that Dredd has brutally killed in his literal drug psychosis and whom McGruder even calls “guinea pigs” – “Perps…we picked them up this afternoon — most of them minor offences but we needed some guinea pigs”.

Good Grud! Picked them up this afternoon? Minor offences?! You may have needed guinea pigs but you need them that badly and that quickly? You couldn’t have, say, used more serious offenders? You know, death row inmates – or the equivalent, as Mega-City One doesn’t have the death penalty…mostly.

Also…did they arm these chumps with, ah, spatulas or fly swatters? And I’m sure one of them just had a skateboard?  Against Dredd with a daystick and Lawgiver?!

Of course, they probably didn’t want anyone – or anything – more dangerous against Dredd, as they doped him to the eyeballs with their experimental “new aggro drug”. That’s the other part of their callous calculus here – the risk to their own Judge, let alone a Judge of the stature of Dredd, from an untested drug affecting their sensory awareness and perception, let alone doing so in some sort of extreme combat simulation to the death. What if it had incapacitated him, of itself or in combat? Not to mention they went all MK-Ultra with it – doing it without his consent or even knowledge.

It prompts to mind the official use of methylamphetamine in World War Two, originally for its perceived performance enhancement but ultimately banned for its negative effects – presumably including a deterioration of that performance (and one anticipates quite a bit of friendly fire).

But my problem is bigger than that. There’s the timing of it – literally the next episode after Inferno. What about Dredd recovering from his injuries, let alone McGruder?

However, the biggest problem is that they do exactly nothing with it – neither with its premise nor with the drug, both of which are never seen again. The premise is essentially one of grim desperation – “according to Psi-Division, there’s a crisis coming on. At our current depleted strength, we’re not strong enough to deal with it”. That crisis is further stated – or rather predicted – to be 18 months away or less, originating in the eastern blocks. “Somethin’ bad is headed this way”.

Spoiler alert – it isn’t and didn’t. While it is on brand for Psi Division to be useless as usual, that’s probably on the writers. No doubt the writing team – including Mark Millar who wrote the episode – intended and planned for something big and bad to hit Mega-City One, but they must have quietly dropped that story idea, whatever it was.

As for that drug tested on Dredd, no doubt it would have come in useful for Mega-City One’s Judges once they ironed out the kinks, not least in one of the crises that did come to Mega-City One, but again they must have quietly dropped it as story idea.

 

 

JUDGE DREDD CASE FILES 19:

JUDGE TYRANNOSAUR (prog 855)

 

“Stomping citizens is illegal, meat-mouth! You’re toast!”

You may be cool but will you ever be Judge Dredd taking out a T-rex with a flamethrower cool?

And that’s pretty much the point of this episode (which wraps up the regular 2000 AD episodes in this volume) but I’m always a fun of Jurassic Dredd – whenever dinosaurs pop up in the comic. Although by dinosaurs, let’s face it – it’s almost always tyrannosaurs. Or is that T-rexes?

There is another point of the episode – yet another episode showing Mega-City One’s citizens to be lovable idiots, although the lovable part may be an acquired taste. They’re certainly idiots – which is where the Judge Tyrannosaur of the episode title comes into play.

You guessed it – by contrived but fortuitous happenstance, a tyrannosaur that has wandered a long way from its Cursed Earth home to Mega-City One just happens to eat the right person, a perp holding Mega-City One’s “favorite granny” or oldest citizen hostage for ransom. This happens at the West Wall – the art suggests at one of the gaps still in the wall, so it may have been even more fortuitous that the tyrannosaur slipped through the gap at just the right time.

Although mind you, I’d have expected the oldest citizen to be older than 130 years in twenty-second century Mega-City One. I seem to recall body transplants in one episode.

Anyway, naturally Mega-City One’s lovable idiot citizens in the crowd hail the tyrannosaur as hero – with one oddball “Jurassic expert”, transparently named Dr Michael Crichton, lobbying for it to be made a Judge. How and why the tyrannosaur was taken inside (or further inside) the city, let alone restrained in chains, is not clear. Nor is why the Judges at the hostage situation either did it or let the citizens do it.

However, Judge Dredd is not having anything to do with this mother-drokking dinosaur in his mother-drokking city – “This nonsense has gone far enough!”

And just as well too, since that fortuitously coincides with the tyrannosaur escaping from its bounds just as the citizens were about to give it a giant Judge’s badge. It doesn’t seem to eat anyone but does stomp on the unfortunate Dr Crichton, despite him keeping still – as he tells the panicked citizens, the tyrannosaur responds to sudden movement (another nod to Jurassic Park). Hence the rebuke by Dredd to the dinosaur, before he fries it and finishes it off with a high explosive round.

As he tells the citizens, they don’t need heroes, dinosaurs or otherwise – “You citizens don’t need heroes – you already got us! Appreciate it!”

 

 

JUDGE DREDD CASE FILES 19:

THE HOTTIE HOUSE SIEGE (Meg 2.31)

The Jigsaw Murders (Meg 2.27 – 2.29)

Ladonna Fever (Meg 2.30)

 

“They practice progressive lobotomy…They have bits of their brains systematically burnt out to bring them closer to Grud. Ignorance is bliss, as they say.”

Normally I feature just one notable or standout story from the Megazine episodes in a Case Files volume, but there’s a four from this volume – one as my favorite episode in the volume, even above War Games in the regular 2000 AD episodes, and three for storylines that were to continue or recur in later regular episodes.

Of course, that might say something for the Dark Age of Dredd in the regular episodes at this time – allowing for the episodes in the Megazine, which I think were written by Judge Dredd’s best writer, John Wagner, to shine.

Although not so much in the first two storylines in the Meg – the Jigsaw Murders in the three Megazine episodes 2.27-2.29 and Ladonna Fever in Megazine 2.30.

The former is a ho-hum story about a deranged serial killer targeting a replacement arm for surgery to replaced his own amputated one but I’ll admit the latter is fun – an obvious parody of Madonna and her performances at the time. Naturally they breach Mega-City One’s public decency laws but Dredd hadn’t anticipated the city-wide riots in response to her arrest. They pull a fast one releasing her before serving her thirty year sentence – by releasing her after serving it, via some sort of “time stretcher”. Now she’d unappealingly old to the Mega-City crowds. Even better, her management contracts expired after three years – so her contracts no longer protects her records and assets are confiscated by the city. Hmm – I’m not sure it would work that way, as only Ladonna went through the time-stretcher. Interestingly, she apparently was a model citizen before her transformation into a pop star (essentially through total body plastic surgery). American actress and Madonna associate Sarah Bernhard is name-dropped for the block citi-def in which Ladonna served with exemplary record – during Necropolis or the Big Nec, which is somewhat surprising as Citi-Def resistance was omitted from the epic itself.

The Hottie House siege – an obvious satire of the Branch Davidian cult and its leader David Koresh, famously besieged by federal law enforcement at Waco in Texas – proved such a popular storyline that it was to recur in subsequent episodes. Mega-City One’s Branch Moronians – led here by David Wacovitz – were just the black comedy gift that kept on giving. A nice comic touch is the one or two members who lag behind other cult members in lobotomy and are therefore smarter. Not much smarter, of course, but enough to constantly trigger their leader David Wacovitz – although he implicitly relies on them for his plan of taking the hot dog outlet or Hottie House hostage to have any coherence or indeed purpose. Although even with those members lifting up the bell curve, the whole thing is doomed and Dredd takes out the cult single-handed.

 

 

JUDGE DREDD CASE FILES 19:

SLICK DICKENS: DRESSED TO KILL (Meg 2.34-2.35)

The Al Capone Story (Meg 2.32)

Bagging the Bagwan (Meg 2.33)

 

Judge Dredd does literary criticism!

“Thought you killed me in your last one, Kaput?…I’m giving you another five years for this pile of garbage!”

The most amusing thing about this all is that Dredd obviously read the book to pick plot points, pixie dust and all .

That book being the latest Slick Dickens book – Slick Dickens: Dressed to Kill – by Truman Kaput, an obvious play on Truman Capote. We last saw Kaput and his literary creation, sartorial hitman extraordinaire Slick Dickens, all the way back in episode 505 in Case Files Volume 10 – when Kaput found himself doing cube time for practising the crimes in his Slick Dickens book for realism. Dredd obviously read that book too (as he sentenced Kaput for practising other crimes in the book) – he’s a fan!

When he was introduced, Kaput had his literary creation kill Dredd – hence Dredd’s dry observation “Thought you killed me in your last one, Kaput?”

In these two Megazine episode, Kaput’s written a sequel – in his characteristic overblown style – in which Slick is back to finish the job, which has his fictional Dredd spooked. Well, his more fictional Dredd – as opposed to our fictional Dredd, who is less than impressed. Hence the five years Dredd adds to Kaput’s sentence – personally, I think Dredd just wants him to write another sequel and gave him the time to do it.

The preceding two Megazine episodes were also interesting but do not reflect a recurring character like Slick Dickens.

The first episode, The Al Capone Story (Megazine 2.32) features its titular protagonist growing up as a disappointment to his thuggish family – placid, good-natured and intelligence. That’s in marked contrast to Herman Schwartz, born on the same day to the next door neighbors of the Capones, and a constant terror in his delinquent behaviour, although the two boys become best friends. Capone’s father pre-empts the twist in the tale, bemoaning whether there was a mix-up at the block hospital – although Al Capone ultimately lives up to his name, imprisoned for tax fraud (albeit doing better than Schwartz, killed in a shootout with Judge Dredd on his way to arresting Capone).

People name-dropped for blocks include the mob bodyguard and successor to Capone, Frank Nitti (for the birthplace block of the two boys), gangster Joe Bananas (from Joseph Bonanno – for the block the families move to), and white collar criminal financier Michael Milken (for the block in which Capone settles down). I don’t know – it seems unlikely Justice Department would approve naming blocks for notorious twentieth century criminal figures.

The second episode, Bagging the Bagwan (Megazine 2.33) features Dredd having to protect a Dalai Lama-like figure – except less a figure of resistance and more a figure of annoying pacifist obsequiousness (his religion is named kowtowism) – from assassins hoping to claim the fifty million credit put on the Bagwan’s head by the Organization of Extremist City States. Sadly, as far as I know that organization is never featured again and we are not told anything about which cities are members of it – although they’re probably the usual suspects of villainous mega-cities in Judge Dredd.

 

 

JUDGE DREDD CASE FILES 19:

REVENGE OF THE EGGHEAD (Meg 2.36)

 

“Of course, why didn’t I think of it before! I’ll tranquillise the whole block!”

And believe me – this block needs tranquillising.

Ironically named after Kenneth Clark (albeit with misspelt surname Clarke), British art historian and TV presenter of Civilization, there’s not much civilization in this block, populated with the dregs of Mega-City One. As one of its own residents proudly proclaims, “this is a low IQ block”.

Which makes it all the more strange that Egward Shelduk, university nerd with a penchant for chemistry, lives there – but the answer is quickly revealed that it’s a Department of Housing mistake. Although to say he lives in the block is an overstatement – survives might be more accurate. And barely at that – even then it looks like he won’t last much longer.

By the way, this is it – my favorite single episode in Case Files 19. Yes – even more than War Games, because unlike War Games it actually goes somewhere, in self-contained fashion to boot. Also yes – I’m just as surprised as you are that it was not one of the regular 2000 AD episodes, usually the source of my favorite episodes, but one of the Megazine episodes. But perhaps not too surprised – this was the Dark Age of Dredd in the regular episodes after all.

My favorite Judge Dredd episodes often resemble the finest Greek tragedies. Yes – I stand by that comparison, with the common element being that the best Judge Dredd black comedy and the best Greek tragedy boil down to their tragic hero falling through no flaw or fault of their own but from being screwed over by fate. Indeed, often the tragic hero fights against their fate, only to bring it about or make it worse – the tougher they fight, the harder they fall.

Which is exactly what we see with Egward here – he tries to do everything right to peacefully avoid the relentless and violent bullying by his neighbors, only for none of it to work. We see the conga humiliation line pile-up in messages – his girlfriend leaves him a Dear John letter by video message as she can no longer see someone living in “that block” and his house loan application is turned down because his block is classified as “high risk”.

Worst of all, the Department of Housing pulls a good news bad news joke on him. The good news is that they have identified their mistake – he apparently was meant to be housed at Swingle Singers Swinging Singles – and are “rectifying their mistake immediately”. The bad news is that by immediately – or their “urgent priority” list – they mean the year after next.

The worse news is that Egward isn’t going to make it to the day after next the way he’s going, let alone the year after next. So again he does the right thing – he calls in Justice Department on his assailants. Of course, Justice Department shows up in the form of Dredd. Egward pleads with Dredd – “I don’t want any trouble – if you could just have a word with them.” Unfortunately for Egward, Dredd doesn’t do just having words with perps. Dredd arrests the family of bullies and now the whole block is out for Egward – “No judge to protect ya now, egghead!”

And that’s when Egward gets his bright idea – to tranquillise the whole block. “It’s so simple! I can make it up myself from common chemicals you’d find in any highly advanced laboratory!”. Sadly, nothing in Mega-City One is ever simple…

 

 

“Control! Med-wagons to Kenneth Clarke! We have a mass gassing!”

You sure do, Judge Dredd, you sure do. And how!

But also – and how? Well, we know the how. Block egghead Egward Selduk tranquillised the whole block. You know, to avoid being killed by the other occupants, which seems reasonable to me.

Not so much to Justice Department, who are alerted to the block being tranquillised when the crime in and around Kenneth Clarke drops to zero – “Normally we’d expect a crime every three minutes!”

Judge Dredd is called in to investigate and with the protection of his helmet respirator uncovers that everyone in Kenneth Clarke is out cold. Well, except Egward who protected himself with nose filters.

But that’s getting ahead of our story. Dredd disables the tranquilliser gas feed and the block residents awaken, in an even more violent mood than usual and ready to rumble. Or riot in this case – such that Dredd has to call in reinforcements who deploy my favorite Justice Department feature, riot foam.

And right then with the riot quelled Dredd’s off to deal with the perpetrator…

 

 

“You put the whole block to sleep, creep!”

“But that’s impossible! The – the tranquilliser wasn’t strong enough!”

“Not on its own, maybe — but combined with the tranquilliser WE pump into the block system –”

Ah yes – Mega-City One Justice Department tranquillizing its own citizens again. And yet again another citizen who discovers it – by mishap in this case – paying the price. Which for poor Egward Selduk is twenty years in the cubes.

And I for one will not stand for this – justice for Egward!

For one thing, it sounds like Justice Department should have been upping the dose. As Judge Dredd tells Egward, Justice Department’s tranquillizer was “just enough to keep them under control”. I’m not so sure about that, given that whole “crime every three minutes” thing.

For another, Egward had little choice to avoid being killed by other block residents – having tried everything else, including calling in Judge Dredd, none of which worked. He then chose a non-violent means of protecting himself – which would have worked but for Justice Department doing it first, outside his knowledge and obviously not as effectively.

And one last thing – Egward is exactly the sort of person Justice Department should be looking to enlist as a civilian auxiliary. Drokk – Justice Department in general and Judge Dredd in particularly cut deals to conscript peepers to use their spying for the city. Why not the same here? On his own and without any of the experience or resources of Justice Department, Egward tranquillised a whole block, peacefully putting it to sleep to protect himself and dropping its crime rate down to zero. Sure, the block rioted when they woke up, but you could argue that’s on Dredd for disabling the tranquillizer gas without calling in any Tek Division support or other Judges to deal with the citizens as they roused beforehand. So why not cut Egward a deal to conscript him as an auxiliary for Tek Division rather than encubement?

Although you do have to love Dredd’s wry observation at how he was able to identify Egward as the perpetrator – “No one else in the block is smart enough!”

 

 

JUDGE DREDD CASE FILES 19:

MECHANISMO – BODY COUNT (Meg 2.37 – Meg 2.43)

 

And we wrap up Case Files 19 with the ongoing Mechanismo storyline in the Megazine episodes. For me, it was more like Meh-chanismo (heh) but it had too big an impact for me to ignore in my Mega-City Law – and one that would continue for many more episodes yet. It makes quite the Megazine episode tally for Case Files 19. Normally I just feature the best Megazine episode, Revenge of the Egghead in this case (heh), but Case Files 19 had three recurring storylines which had to be featured – Slick Dickens: Dressed to Kill, Hottie House Siege, but the most important of all was Mechanismo: Body Count.

I’ll be quick about it, however, because none of the Mechanismo storyline really grabbed me – except for the climactic and fateful decision by Dredd here.

Judge Stitch – the Tek-Division Judge who masterminded the Mechanismo robot Judge project – is continuing with his insane pet project searching the sewers for his little lost robot which malfunctioned with lethal consequences, Mechanismo Number Five, having escaped psychiatric treatment to do so.

Meanwhile, Chief Judge McGruder is continuing with her pet project to fill the city’s depleted Judge ranks with robot Judges, rolling out the Mark Two models a year after the failure of the original Mark One models, not least Number Five – while Dredd continues to oppose robot Judges.

And Number Five is still out there continuing its pet project of law enforcement with ever more extreme prejudice. It’s pretty much executions all round for Number Five

McGruder conceives the perfect operational trial for the Mark Two models – search and destroy for the rogue Number Five. Dredd opposes this as well but realizes that he has only one option to prevent the Mark Two models becoming fully operational – find Number Five first.

And he does just that, tracking it through the illegal salvage crew that found and reactivated it, but unfortunately it manages to evade him into the sewers – where he, one of the Mark Two units, and Judge Stitch all converge on it. Dredd has already disabled it with a well-aimed shot and disables it further with another, but the Mark Two that destroys it despite Dredd’s order to “hold your fire!”

And that’s when Dredd does the darker side of his catchphrase by taking the law into his own hands – shooting and destroying the Mark Two unit. Dredd compounds this by exploiting the extremely impressionable state of the onlooking Judge Stitch (in his psychiatric breakdown) to effectively implant that the two robot Judges had destroyed each other.

As Dredd muses to himself – “A deception, but necessary under the circumstances. Enough to make McGruder pull back from commissioning the Mark 2s — for a while at least. Long enough to figure out how to deal with McGruder…”

And yes – you know that Dredd is just kicking the can down the road but it’s going to have some big consequences when it catches up to him, or he to it. I forget how that metaphor works. Sometimes you catch the can and sometimes the can catches you, but it’s going to have some big consequences in either case.

Mega-City Law – Judge Dredd Cities Uniform Rankings

 

 

 

JUDGE DREDD CITIES JUDGE UNIFORM RANKING

 

I’ve ranked mega-cities and their Judges by their status as heroes or villains in the comic, and even by the more important criterion of quality of life for the average citizen, but now for the most important question of all – which city and their Judges have the best-looking uniforms?

They may or may not be tough on their mega-city’s streets – but which Judges would win on the catwalk?

So here are my rankings for mega-city by Judge uniform design, from best to worst (up to Case Files 19).

 

S-TIER (GOD-TIER)

 

 

(1) MEGA-CITY ONE

 

It was a tough choice among top tier rankings but in the end, I could only rank one as truly god-tier – the original and the best, the Mega-City One Judge uniform.

If for nothing else, then there’s at least the fact that it was the template for the design of the Judge uniforms for every other mega-city, certainly at a meta-narrative level for artists of the comic – and possibly even in-universe. After all other mega-cities seem to have almost universally adopted Mega-City One’s Judge system – why not also copy their Judge uniforms to boot?

Speaking of boots, what truly elevates the Mega-City One Judge uniform is that it fuses dystopian fascist jackboot chic with post-apocalyptic biker leather punk, adorned with enough Americana to make the Fourth of July blush.

No, seriously – as the headline of Guardian feature by Ian Dunt proclaimed, it’s “Fascist Spain meets British punk”, a creation of subversive genius. “It’s a mark of honour for the British comic book industry that its most instantly recognisable icon is also its most subversive”.

The fascist Spain part of course came from Carlos Ezquerra, the Spanish artist who played an instrumental role in creating the visual appearance of Judge Dredd

“The eagle motif and helmet were drawn from fascism, the permanently drawn truncheon from police on the picket line, the zips, chains and knee pads from punk” – as Ezquerra told an interviewer, “I was living in Franco’s Spain but also I was living in Mrs Thatcher’s England.”

The result? The Mega-City One Judge uniform is a thing of beauty, with every single detail deliriously over the top – like everything else about Judge Dredd’s Mega-City One in the twenty-second century. It’s why it had to be toned down for anything resembling a practical design in live action adaptation in the 2012 film – because it had been turned all the way up for the comic. Overblown? It’s meant to be!

As Ian Dunt wrote in that article – “Dredd looks like no other comic character before or since. His design makes no practical sense. It has no symmetry or logic to it. No one at the time thought it would work.”

Also – “F**king hell,” his co-creator John Wagner said when he first saw the designs. “He looks like a Spanish pirate.” But somehow, for reasons no one can quite articulate, it is perfect.

Chris Sims in his Comics Alliance blog also waxed lyrical about the sheer batsh*t exuberance of Judge Dredd’s uniform, ranking it in his top 5 comics costume designs of all time:

“The best costumes in comics tend to be simple and well-defined, getting across a lot of information with a very streamlined look. Generally speaking, the more unnecessary gimmicks you add to a suit, the more distracting it gets, and the less it says about the character, and I think that holds true across the board when it comes to superheroes. But then you get to Judge Dredd, and all those rules go flying straight into the Iso-Cubes, where they’re locked up and never, ever let out.”

“Seriously, look at that suit. It’s nothing but unnecessary gimmicks. There’s nothing streamlined about it at all — it’s bulky, and covered with details that you can’t really skip over because, again, the entire costume is all about those details. And yet, it’s top five costumes in comics history, easily. Seriously. I love Judge Dredd’s costume so much, and when you get right down to it, what it really comes down to is context.”

That context is of course the world in which Judge Dredd is set, particularly Judge Dredd’s home city of Mega-City One, in a future that is both over the top dystopian and post-apocalyptic – “a society where every single thing has become monstrously overwhelming.”

“The one thing you can get just by looking at that dude? He has a lot going on. The costume is blindingly ornate, almost overwhelming in just how much there is to it — you can’t really take it in all at once, and when you throw in the fact that he’s riding on a motorcycle with five headlights, four exhaust pipes, two machine guns and a Crash Bomber stuck to it, it’s ridiculous. There’s just too much. Which is, at a single glance, the perfect representation of Dredd and his world”.

As Sims observes, instead of an eagle patch on their shoulders, Dredd and other Mega-City Judges have a literal statue of an eagle on their shoulder – something the artists would adapt with similar animal motifs for Judge uniforms of other mega-cities. And because the shoulder eagle takes up so much room, the flag shoulder patch in contemporary American police or military uniforms has to migrate down to their belt buckle, which is of course in the form of another gigantic American eagle. And there’s a third eagle on the badge which blares the Judge’s name (and as iconography, “Dredd’s badge is right up there with the Bat-Signal and the Superman shield”).

USA! USA! USA!

And it keeps going. The belt so overstuffed with equipment that they don’t even have room for a gun – which they keep in their boots, along with their bootknife.

There’s the other enormous shoulder pad to rival the eagle, along with elbow and knee pads. The gloves – with built-in knuckle-dusters and pouches. The chain from the zipper to the badge. And the equally iconic helmet – also equipped with gadgets such as respirator – which famously Dredd never takes off (except when the artist substitutes something else, even just cutting away from the lower part of the face).

And it all rocks – every single part!

Don’t worry – aptly enough for my place entry Mega-City One uniform, this is my most overblown and over the top entry in these rankings. The other entries will be shorter, particularly as other Judge uniform entries are adapted from Dredd’s baseline.

“The other great thing about Dredd’s uniform is that, even with as complicated as it is, it’s the baseline. It’s the standard model, and Dredd’s world is full of modifications on that basic theme, whether it’s the Judges of other cities or just different specialists from his own Department of Justice. And those only work because they’re playing off of Dredd’s. It has, strangely enough, proven to be one of the most adaptable costumes in comics, even if the adaptation is just dropping an even more gigantic golden eagle on it for the Chief Judge”.

 

A-TIER (TOP TIER)

 

 

(2) EAST MEG ONE / EAST MEG TWO

 

It’s the cape.

And all those hammers and sickles.

Gruddamn I love the Sov Judges uniform. If it wasn’t for the Mega-City One Judge uniform setting the template and hence earning its god-tier first place, that’s where I would have ranked the Sov Judge uniform.

Dystopian communist jackboot chic with post-apocalyptic biker leather punk, adorned with enough Soviet paraphernalia to make a May Day parade blush.

 

Modelled here by Dredd in disguise as a Sov Judge (but wearing the Mega-City One boots and black leather jumpsuit)

 

Indeed, the Sovs go better with hammers and sickles than their American counterparts with eagles – with (at least) one on their helmet, one on their belt buckle and one on each kneepad. They also have a communist star on each glove.

 

 

 

 

(3) SINO-CIT TWO

 

A close runner-up to their American and Soviet counterparts, the Chinese Judges would have ranked higher if, you know, I’d seen their uniform in its full glory in more than one episode.

And also I believe they toned down the uniforms – which is frankly outrageous. If anything, they should have toned them up! This is Judge Dredd after all. But they’re perfect as they are. I note that there appears to be two regular Judge uniforms and one in a more senior or commanding position, although both uniform designs are in the red and yellow designs of the present Chinese flag.

As for the regular Judges, there’s the helmets styled in the traditional conical Asian design. The dragons as shoulder pad similar to the eagle for Mega-City One Judges. The Chinese characters which I presume to be their name, similar to the badges for Mega-City One Judges. The only issue I have is the shuriken belt buckles – which are a bit too much and also a potential source of injury.

The senior or commanding Judge has a similar coloring and design – but with some big boss shoulder pads going on and a dragon helmet. He also has skulls on his collar and badge, suggestive of perhaps a similar role to the SJS in Mega-City One, as well as a giant Chinese character on his chest.

They also have the yin-yang symbol on the back of their uniforms.

 

 

(4) HONDO CITY

 

Judge Dredd meets anime samurai chic in Japan’s Hondo City!

Hondo City’s Judge-Inspectors have a uniform to invoke the appearance of samurai. Also “unlike foreign Judges, they wear no badge with their name on; their names are printed on the rising sun symbol on their uniforms, viewable only through the visor on another judge’s helmet, with the intent that the citizens see justice as one entity rather than a group of individuals.”

 

B-TIER (HIGH TIER)

 

 

(5) BRIT-CIT

 

I mean, come on – they’re essentially Mega-City One Judges with lions instead of eagles (on shoulder pad and helmet), blue instead of green (pads, boots and gloves), and Union Jacks. That’s high-tier right there!

 

 

(6) TEXAS CITY

 

Again, come on – they’re essentially cowboy-themed Mega-City One Judges, with Stetsons and five stars. Hence – high-tier!

 

 

(7) EMERALD ISLE

 

They might be glorified security guards…but I like the “green machine” uniforms, green with white and orange trimmings based on the Irish flag. And I’m a fan of the trench coat – which stands out from the usual biker leather uniforms of Judges.

 

C-TIER (MID TIER)

 

 

 

(8) CIUDAD BARANQUILLA / BANANA CITY

 

Yeah – Latin America’s leading mega-city just doesn’t do too well in my rankings. This is probably their best of my rankings for them, but their Judge uniforms look too much like they’ve wandered in as bikers from a Pride parade.

 

D-TIER (LOW TIER)

 

 

(9) SYDNEY-MELBOURNE CONURB / OZ

 

Ah, Oz – you know I love you among my mega-cities as heroes in Judge Dredd and in my quality of life ranking as hands down the best place to live in his twenty-second century, but your uniforms are just low-tier. You’re the only Judges with shorts.

And yes – I know no one’s making it through the post-apocalyptic Australian summer in full biker leather. Well, apart from Mad Max of course, but even then you have Wes in The Road Warrior wearing assless chaps to keep cool.

 

F-TIER (FAIL TIER)

 

 

(10) VEGAS CITY & DELHI-CIT

 

These guys aren’t even trying.

If anything, I’d rank Delhi lower because at least Vegas City Judges have the excuse that they’re really just Mafia thugs doing the bare minimum to maintain the fiction of being Judges. That and the dollar sign as their uniform insignia is a good visual gag. The Delhi-Cit Judges just have a knock-off Mega-City One biker leather jumpsuit without any of the trimmings, except for orange shoulder pads with the Ashoka Chakra symbol to evoke the Indian flag

 

X-TIER (WILD TIER)

 

 

SPECIAL MENTION: DARK JUDGES

 

In fairness, the Dark Judge uniform design is arguably the best adaptation from the Mega-City One Judge uniform template – and individualized between them to boot.

Of course, you have to be, ah, undead to pull off the look

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Mega-City Law – Judge Dredd Cities Quality of Life Rankings

 

 

And now for the even more important question than how one ranks cities in Judge Dredd as heroes or villains – how one would rank them by where one would actually want or at least prefer to live, as an average citizen. In other words, ranking cities in Judge Dredd by the quality of life they provide for their citizens.

Yes, yes – this may seem surprising for a comic that is, after all, a dystopian SF satire. It’s a crapsack world – they all suck, don’t they?

Well, yes and no. You see, some places are more dystopian than others. And what’s even more surprising – the central dystopian setting we all know and love but are happy we aren’t living in, Dredd’s own Mega-City One, is far from the most dystopian. Mega-City One actually ranks midway through my rankings.

So here are my rankings of Judge Dredd cities by quality of life, from best to worst. Only cities still in existence get a main ranking – but some dead cities get special mention.

 

S-TIER (GOD TIER)

 

 

 

(1) OZ – SYDNEY-MELBOURNE CONURB

 

Hands down the best place to live in Dredd’s twenty-second century world – and it’s not even close for the next best. The Oz Judges are laidback as are its citizens. Like the former United States, Australia outside the coastal cities is a wasteland – known as the Radback – but that’s not too different from Australia at present, with its concentration of population in urban cities. (Although one presumes the Oz economy is driven by robot mining in the Radback). It looks like life for the average citizen could compare reasonably well to our present world.

 

A-TIER (TOP TIER)

 

 

(2) HONDO CITY

 

Look – it’s a close call between my entries from second to fourth place, but I’m going with Japan’s Hondo City in second place, with its high quality of life for its citizens a result of it being the most technologically advanced mega-city in the twenty-second century. Its Judges also appear to be among the most benevolent to its citizens, who in turn are among the most law-abiding. Sure, there’s exceptions to both – corruption among Judges and crime by the Yakuza – but that’s no different from any other mega-city and arguably better than most.

 

 

B-TIER (HIGH TIER)

 

(3) EMERALD ISLE

 

Yes – it may have been introduced as a biting satire of Irish stereotypes and essentially a glorified theme park under Brit Cit control…but ironically for all the satire, it looked like a pleasant place for the average citizen to live. A rural landscape of rustic villages as opposed to the urban hellholes of other mega-cities – or for that matter, the radioactive wastelands that had largely replaced natural or rural landscapes elsewhere. Not to mention citizens – and Judges for that matter – who just liked to take it easy and have a pint, suffering virtual culture shock when confronted with the casual brutality of Mega-City One’s Judges or criminals.

 

 

(4) BRIT CIT

 

Mega-City One lite.

No, seriously – a smaller mega-city with many of the same problems as Mega-City One but not as far advanced along the same dystopian path and therefore a somewhat more pleasant place to live, even if it is British.

 

C-TIER (MID-TIER)

 

 

(5) MEGA-CITY ONE

 

Yes – I am as surprised as you are. Mega-City One may rank behind four other mega-cities for quality of life but it ranks above the others. As dystopian as it is, it’s just not that bad and life for many of its citizens is decent.

 

 

(6) TEXAS CITY

 

Pretty much like Mega-City One only, you know, if Mega-City One was in Texas…so a little worse. No, seriously – the British writers liked to play up the Texan or Southern stereotypes so of course it’s depicted as a little worse than Mega-City One. The Judges are literal cowboy cops.

 

D-TIER (LOW TIER)

 

 

(7) EAST MEG TWO

 

I mean, come on – they’re the Sovs, albeit the better of the two East-Meg cities and not just because it hasn’t been nuked. From what little we see of life there, it does indeed appear to be more authoritarian and brutal than the American mega-cities, not to mention poorer and with less quality of life.

Yes, yes – there was something of a parallel drawn between the East-Meg One Diktatorat and Judge Dredd in their mutual indifference about informing their citizens of the outbreak of the Apocalypse War. No offense but as I said when looking at the Apocalypse War, that parallel just sounded like some drokking Sov-loving commie gobbledygook to me…

USA! USA! USA!

 

 

(8) SINO CIT TWO

 

The details of life in Sino Cit Two are vague but by all indications they would appear to be similar to the Sov mega-cities, only worse. It appears to be richer than its Sov counterparts but more efficient in its authoritarianism.

 

F-TIER (FAIL TIER)

 

 

(9) CIUDAD BARANQUILLA

 

And there you have it – hands down the worst place to live in Dredd’s twenty-second century. Unless you’re a Judge or one of its rich citizens – but even then things can go wrong. Essentially a corrupt racket or criminal gang disguised as a mega-city, alternating between brutalizing its citizens – inmates tend not to survive its prisons, at least in one piece – and extorting them.

 

X-TIER (WEIRD / WILD  TIER)

 

 

SPECIAL MENTION (1) LUNA-1 (SPACE COLONIES)

 

Essentially the Wild West frontier of Mega-City One (as well as other mega-cities), with all the pros and cons of the frontier. Mega-city citizens go to the moon to seek a better life – and the same goes for other space colonies, only more so for those on Earth-like planets in “alien space” where you don’t have to answer to the Oxygen Board for your air.

So if anything I’d probably rank Luna-1 and other space colonies in general as somewhat above Mega-City One in quality of life.

 

 

SPECIAL MENTION (2) CURSED EARTH

 

Where Mega-City One is dystopian, the Cursed Earth is post-apocalyptic.

Yes, yes – the Cursed Earth isn’t a mega-city (and for that matter has wide variations within it)…but it is an important setting in Judge Dredd, second in frequency only to Mega-City One itself. And people – not just mutants – do live there. Indeed, it is surprisingly populated for a radioactive wasteland. So how does it compare for quality of life?

Well not good, obviously – it is the Cursed Earth, after all. There’s a reason that muties are constantly seeking to get into Mega-City One – and not just as an allegory for illegal immigration in our world. So if I were to rank it against actual mega-cities, I’d have to rank it below Mega-City One…but probably above Ciudad Baranquilla.

And surprisingly, it’s not all that bad either. Parts of it appear quite decent – otherwise you wouldn’t have that many human settlements in it. For that matter, Mega-City One has its own colonies or settlements in it, that often seem better than Mega-City One itself. Heck – just like the muties desperately trying to get into Mega-City One, there are often Mega-City One residents who seem equally as desperate to get out of Mega-City One to the Cursed Earth, whether to Mega-City One’s colonies or otherwise. That was the premise of the Helltrekkers story. Mind you, the whole point of that story was the hell part of the trek – but then there wouldn’t have been a story if it was uneventful.

And similarly to Mega-City One itself compared to other cities, the Cursed Earth ranks about midway when compared to the world’s other radioactive wastelands. The Radback would appear better – just as Australia has the best mega-city, it also has the best wasteland – but it would definitely rank above the Radlands of Ji.

 

 

SPECIAL MENTION (3) MEGA-CITY TWO

 

RIP Mega-City Two

It’s a pity, as I’d actually have ranked Mega-City Two above Mega-City One for quality of life, perhaps aptly enough for the latter’s West Coast counterpart. It had nicer beachfront – the relatively unpolluted Pacific compared to the Black Atlantic – and its Judges were more easy-going. Perhaps too easy-going, given that it’s not around any more.

 

 

SPECIAL MENTION (4) EAST MEG ONE

 

RIP East Meg One

Stronger than East Meg Two, but it loses marks for the authoritarian brutality and casual callousness towards casualties, even its own, in going to war against Mega-City One while East Meg Two preferred a more glasnost approach. And of course for not existing anymore, a not unrelated fact. While it was around, I probably would have ranked it just below East Meg Two.

 

You get the idea…

 

SPECIAL MENTION (5) SINO CIT ONE

 

RIP Sino Cit One

Essentially the same compared to Sino Cit Two as East Meg One compared to East Meg Two

 

 

 

SPECIAL MENTION (6) VEGAS CITY

 

RIP Vegas City

But not in the same feel-good way as Mega-City Two, where you had something generally to mourn. Vegas City was a literal mafia state which existed solely on gambling. While it was around, I’d have ranked it marginally above Ciudad Baranquilla, because at least it looked like it could be fun if you were lucky or could keep your winning run going. And I had a soft spot for the Lady Luck character who popped up in the Missionary Man story – it sure helps to be a psi to stay lucky in Vegas.

 

 

SPECIAL MENTION (7) DEADWORLD

 

Trick mention – there is no quality of life in Deadworld because everyone’s dead, except of course the Dark Judges who are undead. Quality of life? Ha! Life is a crime and the sentence is death.

Mind you, even before the Dark Judges took over, Deadworld would have ranked below Ciudad Baranquilla in corruption and callous brutality. How else do you think the Dark Judges were able to take over?

Although, it would have been interesting to see Ciudad Baranquilla square off with the Dark Judges. Or other mega-cities for that matter – why do the Dark Judges always target Mega-City One?

 

Mega-City Law: Top 10 Judge Dredd Heroes & Villains (Special Mention – Cities & Judges)

 

Yes – I have my top ten Judge Dredd heroes and villains but as usual I also have my special mentions.

However, there’s a twist. As the world of Judge Dredd is one of distinctive mega-cities and their Judges, I’ve compiled special mentions exclusively in those categories – cities and Judges – as ‘heroes’ or ‘villains’.

Unlike my top ten Judge Dredd heroes and villains, these special mentions aren’t a countdown from tenth to first place. Instead, apart from the first entry for villains, they are simply counted out in chronological order as they were introduced in the comic.

There are some similarities to the top ten list. First and foremost, it’s also a running list – updated to each Judge Dredd Case Files volume as I review them in Mega-City Law, presently up to Case Files 19.

As for their rankings as ‘heroes’ and ‘villains’, that tends to be from the protagonist perspective of Judge Dredd and Mega-City One – which after all tends also to be shared by the writers and readers, at least this reader.

No prizes then for guessing the first special mention as ‘heroes’ goes to the Big Meg and its Judges. Sometimes I rank myself as a citizen of Mega-City One over my actual country. Grud – I love that fictional city!

On the other hand, I had to make an exception to chronological order for the first special mention as ‘villains’ because that entry was simply too distinctive to rank third as it would otherwise by chronological order.

However, even from that protagonist perspective of Dredd or MC-1, the rankings as ‘heroes’ are somewhat tenuous. It’s not just that, as in my top ten, the heroes might be described as anti-heroes at best (a description that also applies to Dredd himself as well as the Judges of Mega-City One). That does apply here as well but it’s also that while Mega-City One does have other cities and their Judges as ‘allies’, those alliances tend to be tenuous. Even the other two American mega-cities, while generally well-meaning towards Mega-City One as formal allies, are (or were in the case of one of them) pretty useless when it came to helping MC-1 out of a crisis.

Back to that reference to writers, there was a tendency for the other cities and their Judges to reflect the positive or negative pop culture stereotypes held by the writers at the time, which in turn is reflected by their ranking as ‘heroes’ and ‘villains” – that is, as ‘good’ cities or Judges allied with MC-1 or otherwise sympathetic,  or as ‘bad’ cities as adversaries of MC-1 or otherwise unsympathetic.

So these are my special mentions for the cities and Judges of Dredd’s world as heroes or villains.

 

 

(1) HEROES: MEGA-CITY ONE 

(CASE FILES 1 – JUDGE WHITEY: prog 2)

 

As I said in my introduction, no prizes for guessing the first special mention for cities and their Judges as ‘heroes’ goes to the Big Meg and its Judges. Sometimes I rank myself as a citizen of Mega-City One over my actual country. Grud – I love that fictional city!

 

It’s also my first special mention consistent with me counting them out in chronological order (with the exception of my first villainous special mention). No surprise there either – after all, we’re introduced to Mega-City One and its Judges from the very first episode of Judge Dredd, although that was the second episode of the 2000 AD anthology comic which published Judge Dredd (as it was not ready for the first episode).

 

Okay, okay – technically Mega-City One was introduced in the first Judge Dredd episode as New York City but that was soon retconned into Mega-City One. The Judges were introduced itself as such, although in these early episodes they were an elite force operating separately from the regular police – again, that was soon retconned into the Judges as the only substantive police and the Justice Department as only substantive government of Mega-City One.

 

Mega-City One needs little introduction other than to note it as one of three coastal American mega-cities that survived the Atomic Wars through their laser missile defense systems and effectively assumed the mantle of government of the former United States – separately from each other in their own respective territories.

 

As for that territory, Mega-City One was the super-urban agglomeration of the cities of the east coast or Atlantic seaboard, sprawling from Canada to Florida. To its west (from the Great Lakes on) was the Cursed Earth, the radioactive (and mutated) badlands to which the American heartland had been reduced by the Atomic Wars. To its east, the Black Atlantic – to which that ocean had been transformed by the Atomic Wars and other pollution. Its population was originally identified as 100 million (in The Day the Law Died) but that was retconned immediately after that epic to 800 million to match its simultaneously post-apocalyptic but dystopian nature as an overcrowded wretched hive of scum and villainy.

 

However, that has proved somewhat fluid in the comic to suit the writer’s tastes – most dramatically when the city was effectively halved by the Apocalypse War both in population (to 400 million) and in area from New Hampshire to North Carolina.

 

As for its Judges, particularly Dredd as its leading Judge, they need little introduction as well, except perhaps to note that he is the Law!

 

Judge Dredd, the Judges and Mega-City One are effectively our protagonists in the comic, so it’s not surprising that they’re my first and foremost hero entry – and it’s essentially from their perspective we see other cities and Judges as ‘heroes’ or ‘villains’.

 

 

(1) VILLAINS: DEADWORLD – DARK JUDGES

(CASE FILES 5 – JUDGE DEATH LIVES: prog 224)

 

The crime is life! The sentence is death!

Yes, yes – the Dark Judges are my top Judge Dredd villain, foremost among them of course Judge Death, but I also have to feature them as my first special mention for cities and Judges, albeit their ‘city’ is a world in a parallel dimension, Deadworld. As a complete inversion of Justice Department, encapsulated in their judicial condemnation of life itself as a crime, they are infinitely more villainous than even the most villainous mega-city or Judges on Earth. Much like Sabbat’s zombie apocalypse, all mega-cities are essentially allies against against death itself in the form of the Dark Judges – indeed, you root for the Sovs in Deadworld’s version of the Apocalypse War against the nascent Dark Judges.

You know who they are. The Dark Judges – Judges Death, Fire, Fear and Mortis – are essentially the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse in the Judge Dredd comic (except of course for the actual Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse that featured in End of Days).

 

 

(2) HEROES: MEGA-CITY TWO

(JUDGE DREDD CASE FILES 2 – THE CURSED EARTH: prog 61)

(R.I.P. JUDGE DREDD CASE FILES 17 – JUDGEMENT DAY Meg 2.04)

 

Alas Mega-City Two – we hardly knew ye!

 

Although probably for good reason – it was essentially a carbon copy of Mega-City One, just on the West Coast or Pacific seaboard, California’s mega-city (albeit it extended up the Pacific coastline north of California as well).

 

So obviously the writers decided it had to go – the Judge Dredd comic wasn’t big enough for two Mega-Cities that were basically indistinguishable.

 

Sure – Mega-City Two seemed a somewhat nicer place to live from what little we saw of it, if only because the Pacific is not as poisonously polluted as the Black Atlantic, so that Mega-City Two had open beachfront.

 

And sure – the Mega-City Two Judges appear somewhat laxer with enforcing their authoritarian police state, which usually translated to Mega-City One Judges seeing them as characteristically useless. No wonder Mega-City Two didn’t survive the zombie apocalypse of Judgement Day – and was nuked accordingly!

 

There’s not much more to say. I seem to recall Mega-City Two may have been mentioned even as early as the episodes compiled in Case File 1 – my recollection is there’s a reference to them as one of the triumvirate of American mega-cities for the colonies on the moon in Luna-1 – but the definitive introduction to it for me will always be The Cursed Earth, the storyline in which it had the most plot relevance. Even there they were pretty useless – to give more stakes to Dredd’s Cursed Earth mission to deliver a vaccine to them, without which they would have gone under even back then.

 

Mostly however, readers and writers of Judge Dredd tended to forget there even was a Mega-City Two on the West Coast, with only the occasional reminder popping up that they were there being useless, such as when they were being useless to help Mega-City One in the Apocalypse War. Indeed, so occasional that you could probably count the occasions on the fingers of two hands.

 

 

 

(2) VILLAINS: EAST MEG ONE & EAST MEG TWO – SOV JUDGES 

(SOV JUDGES: CASE FILES 1 – THE FIRST LUNA OLYMPICS: prog 50)

 

 

Gruddamn I love the Sov Judges! The best Dredd antagonists, barring my first special mention of course – collectively and individually, with enough of the latter for their own top ten.

 

And yes – I said the same thing when I featured them as my second top Judge Dredd villains, but like the Dark Judges and Deadworld, I have to feature them in my special mentions for cities and Judges. 

 

The Sov Judges were introduced early in the comic – indeed in the Luna arc compiled in Case Files 1 – as the most persistent recurring antagonists of Mega-City One, perhaps the obvious choice as such given their introduction and their main epic The Apocalypse War were written prior to the fall of the Soviet Union. Subsequent storylines seem to redress this as some sort of neo-Soviet revival, perhaps as part or a result of the Atomic Wars.

 

The Sov Judges are also the most effective recurring adversaries of Mega-City One, wiping out half the city in the Apocalypse War (albeit their own city East Meg One was wiped out, leaving East Meg Two) and almost the other half in the Day of Chaos.

 

I always loved the look of the Sov Judges, with all their Soviet paraphernalia of which Stalin himself would be proud – they just look so damn cool! Indeed, there are times when I think they look cooler than their American Mega-City One counterparts.

 

 

 

 

(3) HEROES: TEXAS CITY

(JUDGE DREDD CASE FILES 4 – THE JUDGE CHILD QUEST: prog 160)

 

The third of the triumvirate of coastal mega-cites as successors to the former United States – and the other surviving American mega-city after Mega-City Two was destroyed in Judgement Day.

 

Yes, yes – Texas City was mentioned as early as the Luna-1 story arc in Case Files 1 but we don’t really get a good look at it until The Judge Child Quest.

 

The oldest ally of Mega-City One – although that accolade doesn’t seem to count for much, with Texas City doing very little to help Mega-City One in any of the latter’s crises and doing quite a bit to hurt after Chaos Day, attempting a coup in the latter. It didn’t take and Mega-City One was able to coup them right back, substituting its Psi-Judge Lewis as Chief Judge of Texas City (by perpetually mind-blanking those who encounter her to think she’s the Chief Judge).

 

 

Its Judges have uniforms that are essentially the same as those of Mega-City One but with the Wild West or cowboy iconography to match Texas City itself – Stetson hats instead of helmets and Lone Star belt buckles.

 

 

 

(3) VILLAINS: CIUDAD BARANQUILLA / BANANA CITY

(JUDGE DREDD CASE FILES 13 – BANANA CITY: prog 623)

 

Notoriously the most corrupt and casually brutal mega-city in Judge Dredd’s world – hence its derogatory nickname of Banana City and their delight “whenever they get one over on El Norte” or Mega-City One, albeit the latter usually consists of taking in a ex-Judge or citizen, credits in hand of course.

Despite an actual city of that name in Colombia, perhaps reflecting the original intention for its location, it’s in Argentina corresponding to a conurbation from Buenos Aires, perhaps reflecting the revenge of Judge Dredd’s British writers for the Falklands War.

Its Judges are the face of the city’s corruption and casual brutality, barely maintaining the presence of law enforcement as they effectively auction off ‘justice’ for bribes or payments. Interestingly, like Mega-City One they use the eagle for visual icon – which their Judge Supremo Bastista took to extremes with his gold or gold-plated eagle suit.

Somehow they survived the zombie apocalypse of Judgement Day, surviving when two other South American mega-cities went under – perhaps a tribute to a streak of ruthlessness amidst their corruption and casual brutality.

 Arguably the most flamboyant uniforms of any Judges, more akin to something for Carnivale or Mardi Gras.

 

 

 

(4) HEROES: BRIT CIT

(JUDGE DREDD CASE FILES 10 – ATLANTIS: prog 485)

 

Yes of course the British writers (and artists) of the Judge Dredd comic were always going to have a British mega-city and its Judges – I mean, the name Brit-Cit just writes itself.

 

And of course they were always going to feature Brit-Cit and its Judges among the good guys as one of Mega-City One’s best and oldest allies – indeed, perhaps the only one to actually do anything to help during one of Mega-City One’s recurring crises. Well, as good as the good guys get in Judge Dredd, even if only by criteria of Mega-City One ally – as that alliance has been very tenuous at times.

 

The Brit-Cit Judges are similar to those of Mega-City One in design, except with the British lion on their helmets instead of the American eagle on their shoulders.

 

 

(4) VILLAINS: SINO-CIT

(JUDGE DREDD CASE FILES 19 – WAR GAMES: prog 854)

 

Although Sino-Cit 1 and Sino-Cit 2 had previously been referenced, we had to wait for their first appearance – or at least I remember it as their first appearance, because it was so striking. I mean, really – what’s not to love about it, in the few panels we saw the Chinese or Sino-Cit Judges, with uniforms rendered in superb art by Paul Marshall. Of course, by then it was Sino-Cit 2 (the southern Chinese mega-city) as Sino-Cit 1 (the northern Chinese mega-city) had been overrun by zombies in Judgement Day and nuked.

I mean, just look at them! Those uniforms come very close to knocking off those of the Sov Judges and Mega-City One Judges from their pedestal as my favorite. But for the fact that we don’t see them again for many episodes (as I have difficulty recalling their reappearance in the regular episodes) and then only after changing their uniforms, they might well be my favorite Judge uniforms.

I believe that they toned down the uniforms – which is frankly outrageous. If anything, they should have toned them up! But they’re perfect as they are. I note that there appears to be two regular Judge uniforms and one in a more senior or commanding position, although both uniform designs are in the red and yellow designs of the present Chinese flag.

As for the regular Judges, there’s the helmets styled in the traditional conical Asian design. The dragons as shoulder pad similar to the eagle for Mega-City One Judges. The Chinese characters which I presume to be their name, similar to the badges for Mega-City One Judges. The only issue I have is the shuriken belt buckles – which are a bit too much and also a potential source of injury.

The senior or commanding Judge has a similar coloring and design – but with some big boss shoulder pads going on and a dragon helmet. He also has skulls on his collar and badge, suggestive of perhaps a similar role to the SJS in Mega-City One, as well as a giant Chinese character on his chest.

They also have the yin-yang symbol on the back of their uniforms.

As for their role as villains or antagonists within Judge Dredd, that matched the real world publication dates of the comic – with their first appearance to suggest that they might overtake the Sov Judges as Mega-City One’s antagonists in the 1990s, they gradually evolved into more subtle antagonists to rival the Sovs, matching the real world rivalry of the United States and China.

 

 

 

 

(5) HEROES: OZ – SYDNEY-MELBOURNE CONURB

(JUDGE DREDD CASE FILES 11 – OZ: prog 545)

 

Hands down the best place to live in the twenty-second century, even more so than the twenty-first century.

 

No, seriously.

 

As usual, how other mega-cities were portrayed in Judge Dredd reflected the sensibilities of the British writers, particularly in pop culture – and British comics writers in general were enamored of 1980s and 1990s Australiana. It showed in Tank Girl. It showed in 2000 AD in general – Grant Morrison has Zenith quip about not wanting to miss Neighbours. And it showed here with how Oz is depicted in Judge Dredd, although it has the unfortunate side effect that twenty-second century Australia seems culturally frozen in the 1980s and 1990s.

 

 

The primary mega-city of Oz is the Sydney-Melbourne Conurb, not surprisingly given Australia’s present urban concentration between those two cities – although the map of Oz shows other cities among some strange geographical features. My personal favorite is the Radback, the Oz counterpart of the Cursed Earth.

 

 

As for the Oz Judges, they’re bloody legends! While casual and relaxed, they’re also competent and tough when the chips are down – without being over the top about it like the Mega-City One Judges. They are also the most reliable of Mega-City One’s allies.

 

 

In uniform design, they’re a cross between present Australian police uniforms – with caps instead of helmets – and biker leathers. So…not unlike Mad Max and his colleagues in the first film, but with shorts – aptly enough for Australia’s weather.

 

 

(6) HEROES: HONDO CITY

(JUDGE DREDD CASE FILES 12 – OUR MAN IN HONDO: prog 608)

 

The 22nd century Japanese mega-city was perhaps almost as inevitable as Oz, Brit Cit, or even Mega-City One itself – given that it was written at the height of Japan’s economic and technological rise, when Japan looked to observers to potentially eclipse even the United States itself. It also coincided with Japan’s booming pop cultural influence, not least one suspects on the British writers of Judge Dredd, hence its positive depiction.

 As for Hondo City’s Judge-Inspectors, they have a uniform – as well as mindset and culture – to invoke the appearance of samurai.

 “Unlike foreign Judges, they wear no badge with their name on; their names are printed on the rising sun symbol on their uniforms, viewable only through the visor on another judge’s helmet, with the intent that the citizens see justice as one entity rather than a group of individuals.”

 

 

(7) HEROES: EMERALD ISLE – MURPHYVILLE

(JUDGE DREDD CASE FILES 15 – EMERALD ISLE: prog 727)

 

Top o’ the morning to you!

Garth Ennis may have written 22nd century Ireland and its Judges such as Judge-Sergeant Charlie Joyce as literally the butt of an Irish joke – but I like them. They were subsequently written more seriously – well as serious as Judge Dredd gets for dystopian SF satire – with Charlies’ son Fintan Joyce emerging as a heroic character aiding Mega-City One and Dredd after Chaos Day.

As for their uniforms – they “are highly distinctive, with the top being a “trenchcoat” rather than the biker leathers of most forces. The green and white colouring (with orange bits) is based around the Irish flag”.

 

 

HONORABLE MENTION

 

My honorable mention roll call of mega-cities or their Judges that have been mentioned or referenced in the Judge Dredd comic (in chronological order) but without much more than that bare mention or reference – or at least without being featured in the same depth as my special mention entries.

 

 

(1) LAS VEGAS

(JUDGE DREDD CASE FILES 2: THE CURSED EARTH – prog 79)

 

I came close to ranking this among my special mentions for villainous cities and judges, but it really doesn’t have much presence apart from its appearance in The Cursed Earth epic. The house always wins, except against Judge Dredd. And what presence it did have…it doesn’t have any more as it was subsequently nuked by Judge Death. The house doesn’t win against Judge Death either.

When introduced there, post-apocalyptic Las Vegas has metastasized into a city entirely based on gambling ruled by the Mafia. So…pretty much the same as PRE-apocalyptic Las Vegas, amirite? (Although I’m not sure how it works in the absence of any national or international tourism).

As for the Vegas Judges, they had uniforms of the same appearance as Mega-City Judges, but with dollar signs emblazoned on their chests, and with stereotypical Italian accents. When Dredd demands to see the Chief Judge – and his request is corrected by Vegas Judges to refer to the God-Judge. Sigh.

 

(2) PUERTO NOVA

(JUDGE DREDD CASE FILES 8: JUVE’S EYES – prog 414)

 

The twenty-second century version of Puerto Rico – mentioned as the origin of immigrants to Mega-City One, although presumably that’s internal migration as I’d assume MC-1 still administers it as the successor to the United States (in the Atlantic at least).

 

(3) RUHR CONURB & EURO-CITY

(JUDGE DREDD CASE FILES 9: MIDNIGHT SURFER – prog 425)

 

Apparently the former Germany is the site of four twenty-second century city states, with the Ruhr Conurb first mentioned as the city of origin for skysurfer Klaus Reich in Supersurf 7 held illegally in Mega-City One. The other three city states are Frankfurt, Munich and Berlin Conurb – the last (and possibly all other German city states) being subsequently retconned as part of Euro-City, a mega-city incorporating a number of city states from former West European nations (apparently including Paris and other cities in France as well as Belgium, Italy and Spain). We get a glimpse of Euro-City as where international hitman Jonni Kiss is hanging out in prog 830 compiled in Case Files 19.

 

(4) CAL HAB

(JUDGE DREDD CASE FILES 10: THE ART OF KENNY WHO – prog 477)

 

A.k.a the Caledonian Habitation Zone or 22nd century Scotland, administered by Brit-Cit but sufficiently distinct to earn its own entry here – I first it recall it as the origin of artist Kenny Who, would-be migrant to Mega-City One.

 

 

(5) INDIA – CALCUTTA, DELHI, INDO-CITY & BHOPAL

(JUDGE DREDD CASE FILES 11: OZ – prog 554)

 

Apparently the former India is the site of four twenty-second century city states, with Calcutta first mentioned as the city of origin for skysurfer Ghostman Patel in Supersurf 10 held in Sydney-Melbourne Conurb in the Oz epic. Bhopal is subsequently mentioned in the Song of the Surfer. We actually see a Judge from Delhi or Nu-Delhi – Psi-Judge Bhaji – on secondment to Mega-City One in the Inferno epic. The uniform is similar to the Mega-City One uniform, but with a shoulder pad design based on the Indian flag. Indo-City pops up subsequently.

 

 

(6) MEX CIT

(JUDGE DREDD CASE FILES 13: IN THE BATH – prog 626)

 

Mex-Cit or at least its Judges may have been depicted as early as the Luna-1 story arc back in Case Files 1, where Judges Che and Chico were depicted in similar uniforms to Texas City Judges but with somberos. However, it wasn’t exactly clear until Mex-Cit was first mentioned in prog 626 – as the city of origin for migrants to Mega-City One who had the misfortune to pick Dredd’s apartment for a crime – and shown in prog 649 as a venue for medical tourism from Mega-City One – for a human brain transplant into a Rottweiller body.

 

(7) PAN-AFRICAN JUDGES

(JUDGE DREDD CASE FILES 17: JUDGEMENT DAY)

 

The first glimpse we get of the various Pan-African polities is Swift Unuru, the Pan-African skysurfer in Supersurf 10, but the Pan-African Judges were introduced in the Judgement Day epic compiled in Case Files 17 – they attended the mega-city conference held in Hondo City but without anything to say who they were in comic’s narration. Which is fortunate as the comic retconned their uniforms subsequently.

 

(8) ANTARCTIC CITY

(JUDGE DREDD CASE FILES 17: JUDGEMENT DAY)

 

Like the Pan-African Judges, they attended the Hondo City conference in Judgement Day – anonymously as far as the comic’s text was concerned. Again, their uniforms were subsequently retconned.

They and their city are dodgy as hell – Antarctic bank accounts are famed as the twenty-second equivalent of Swiss bank accounts for international criminals – but that only pops up later.

 

(9) BRASILIA, SOUTH-AM CITY & DJAKARTA

(JUDGE DREDD CASE FILES 17: JUDGEMENT DAY)

 

RIP Brasilia, South-Am City & Djakarta – we barely knew you!

 No, seriously – we didn’t know them at all until they were mentioned as three of the five cities (along with Sino-City 1 and Mega-City 2) that were overrun by zombies in Judgement Day and nuked.

 South-Am City was apparently in Chile. How they were overrun and those bozos in the Pan-Andean Conurb survived is beyond me.

 

 

(10) BANGKOK & CASABLANCA

(JUDGE DREDD CASE FILES 17: JUDGEMENT DAY)

 

Again barely mentioned in Judgement Day sending what seemed to be final broadcasts before all cities were overrun by zombies but Dredd saved the Day. “This is Bangkok – Sawah dee Kap” and “Casablanca – guess this is the end of a beautiful friendship!”

Sigh for the latter – yes, they were paraphrasing the film Casablanca, which I’m sure was foremost in the minds of its twenty-second century government.

 

Mega-City Law – Top 10 Judge Dredd Heroes & Villains

Iconic 2000 AD poster art of Dredd vs Death by Greg Staples

 

As I do for comics in general, I have my top ten Judge Dredd heroes and villains – only more so, given my active fandom of Judge Dredd as the only comic I read each and every one of its weekly episodes (except for two weekly webcomics I also read), going right back to its very first episode (in 1977!) if you count reading earlier episodes as compiled in the Complete Case Files collections.

However, there are some key distinctions. First and foremost, it’s a running list – updated to each Judge Dredd Case Files volume as I review them in Mega-City Law.

As for my Top 10 Judge Dredd heroes, there’s no prizes for guessing the top spot – of course it has to go to Joe himself. And given the extent to which he overshadows other characters as main character – it is his comic with his name in the title after all – it was somewhat tricky to squeeze out a top ten heroes and my usual twenty special mentions that accompany each top ten. To be honest, for special mentions I often resorted to entries that might more accurately be described as protagonists or notable characters rather than heroes as such – although aptly enough as there’s not too many genuine heroes in Mega-City One or the wider crapsack world of Dredd.

Which perhaps prompts another distinction – that many or most of my heroes might be described more as anti-heroes at best, including Dredd himself. I obviously tended to have a focus on Judges – exclusively so for the top ten itself – but that description of anti-heroes at best applies even more so to Mega-City One’s Judges and Justice Department in general, if not the description of outright villains.

Indeed, the worst villains in the Judge Dredd comic tend to be other Judges – albeit usually rogue Mega-City One Judges and Judges from other mega-cities (or dimensions). However, even the majority of Mega-City One Judges that haven’t gone rogue are responsible for the enforcement of an authoritarian police state, so certainly would match the description as villains elsewhere, not least in our own world and even on occasion in their own. However, this is the world of Judge Dredd, which has always maintained a fundamental moral complexity for the Judges and Dredd as protagonist, so I’ll go with anti-heroes here – but my top ten heroes of Dredd might for the most part be more accurately my top ten anti-heroes.

Another distinction that where I look at my top ten heroes in comics in general (and occasionally elsewhere as in mythology or fantasy) in terms of superpower scale from Batman to Superman, I don’t do that for my heroes of Judge Dredd. That’s for the fundamental reason that the Judges in Judge Dredd are not superpowered – with the exception of those with psi powers – in the sense that they are not superhuman. In other words, to the extent that they are superheroes, they’re all Batman – that is, by dint of superior human ability achieved through training, experience, resources and technology, more so than Batman in many cases and certainly for Dredd himself who would out-Batman Batman. Although given the use of advanced cloning and medical technology for Dredd and some other Judges, you could argue that at least he and those particular Judges are effectively superhuman.

I will however retain my playful punching out Cthulhu and party rock rankings – the former if only for that iconic Judge Dredd panel where he punches out Judge Fear. “Gaze into the fist of Dredd!” indeed – you rarely get such a perfect visual representation of punching out Cthulhu.

On the other hand, the villains of Judge Dredd are more straightforward along the lines of villains in comics in general – once you are a cut above your average perp of the week of course, as the top ten and special mentions tend to be. By their nature, they tend to be particularly heinous as villains, such that a brutal police state comes off looking as the better option.

Interestingly, where genuine superpowers tend to pop up in Judge Dredd, it’s for the villains – such that my eldritch abomination and dark lord rankings still come in useful. Although perhaps more interestingly, the most effective villains have tended not to be superpowered – because weapons of mass destruction tend to trump superpowers in Judge Dredd.

 

 

(10) HERO: JUDGE-SERGEANT CHARLIE JOYCE (1991)

(CASE FILES 15: prog 727)

 

Top of the morning to ya, Dredd!

The lrish Judge introduced in the Emerald Isle story arc in Case Files 15, where he teams up with Dredd as the latter’s liaison in Emerald Isle and of course the laidback one in that odd couple. Pairing up Dredd with a laidback or unconventional counterpart is par for the course in Judge Dredd storylines.

I usually reserve the wildcard tenth place in my top tens to the most recent entry – usually an entry from the present or previous year, although for my Judge Dredd top tens that means the previous Case Files I reviewed in Mega-City Law.

However, that doesn’t always work for my Top 10 Judge Dredd Heroes & Villains, although technically I suppose Joyce was in the Innocents Abroad storyline in Case Files 18, even if my usual rule to go by the Case Files volume where he was introduced.

Even so, as a Joyce fan I consider that he needs to be elevated to the highest rank that is my top 10 Judge Dredd Heroes, at least until the next wildcard entry or I replace him with his son Fintan.

Yes – he and the Emerald Isle or Murphyville Judges in general were introduced as the butt of the joke by their Irish writer Garth Ennis having fun with the usual stereotypes, aptly enough as they were little more than glorified security officers in a theme park.

And sadly yes – Ennis once again returned him to being the butt of the joke along with the Irish renegades seeking to escape to Mega-City One in Innocents Abroad, even more so as Ennis had lifted him up to being made of tougher stuff as well as something of a Dredd fanboy in Judgement Day. It wasn’t his fault that Alpha stole his spot in the multi-city special force to take out Sabbat. He seems to hold his own on the frontlines of the zombie apocalypse well enough – and was after all handpicked by Dredd as the Emerald Isle Judge for that special force. Of course, he also happened to be at hand in the Emerald Isle delegation to Hondo City – which suggests he’s one of their best Judges. That might be a low bar but not as low as other mega-cities I could name cough Ciudad Baranquilla cough.

And I liked him even when he and his fellow Emerald Isle Judges or citizens were the butt of the joke. I mean, let’s face it – Dredd needs someone to tell him to calm the drokk down from time to time, even if another Judge from an equally laidback mega-city did it better.

And Joyce brought a more laidback and humane approach than smacking heads with a day-stick that is the signature style of Mega-City One Judges in general and Dredd in particular.

And over time the comic moved on from Ennis having the Irish Judges as the stereotypical butt of the joke to taking them more seriously – although sadly again not in time so much to redeem Judge Joyce as his son Fintan, who grew up to also be Judge Joyce and in Mega-City One to boot.

 

PUNCHING OUT CHTHULU & PARTY ROCK RANKING

 

Not many heroes in Judge Dredd (with the obvious exception) are up for punching out Cthulhu – and Joyce missed out on his chance in Judgement Day when Jonny Alpha stole his place on the mission to punch out Sabbat.

However, you just know Joyce is up there in party rock ranking – the most fun of my top ten heroes with which to share a pint or get friendly with the ladies in a Mega-City nightclub, with one possible exception.

 

RATING: 4 STARS****

X-TIER (WILD TIER)

 

 

(10) VILLAIN: SABBAT (1992)

(CASE FILES 17 – JUDGEMENT DAY: prog 786)

 

“Three billion people you’ve killed, you little drokker – three drokkin’ billion!”

As a literal necromancer behind a global zombie apocalypse and with one of the highest body counts of any Dredd villain – 3 billion and 5 mega-cities in the Judgement Day epic – you’d think I might have ranked him higher but…meh.

I mean, he’s lucky to get that wildcard tenth place which I usually reserve for the most recent entry of note – which for my Judge Dredd top ten reviews means the most recent Case Files I reviewed, or Case Files 18 at the time of this entry. Ironically that would usually exclude him as his storyline was in the Judgement Day epic in Case Files 17, although technically his severed head – still alive through magic but in vegetative state – did feature in Case Files 18. And let’s face it – Case Files had slim pickings for a villain to replace him in wildcard tenth place.

He talks the talk – if anything, he talks too much – but doesn’t really walk the walk. Oh sure – he has his magic and his zombie apocalypse, but even writer Garth Ennis lamented him as a “feeble villain” in characterization.

Don’t get me wrong – the sheer scale of his villainy and his central role in one of the biggest epics in the Judge Dredd comic will always earn him special mention even once he is eclipsed from my top ten…but he just doesn’t have the same iconic status, effect or impact of other villains in the top ten.

There are also three or four others that arguably outdo his body count. Hence I am pleased to announce that from here on I’ll be adding a section to each villain entry in this top ten – BODY COUNT BIGGER THAN JUDGEMENT DAY?

 

ELDRITCH ABOMINATION & DARK LORD RANKING

In fairness, he scores highly on my two rankings for villains.

Firstly, we find out that he is undead himself, sustained by black magic and only keeping his body around for sake of appearance – he’s effectively a lich or demi-lich. So yes – I’d say he is literally the (undead) embodiment of eldritch abomination.

Secondly, as the necromancer behind a global zombie apocalypse bent on killing the planet and conquering its corpses, with plans on galactic conquest – yeah, I’d say he ranks highly as a dark lord.

 

RATING: 4 STARS****

X-TIER (WILD-TIER)

 

 

(9) HERO: JUDGE-INSPECTOR TOTARU SADU (1988)

(CASE FILES 12 – OUR MAN IN HONDO: Prog 608)

 

“For Hondo!”

 

Unlike the Irish Judges and Judge Joyce introduced in The Emerald Isle in Case Files 15, the Japanese Judges are introduced as a force with which to be reckoned – and none more so that Judge Sadu, effectively the Judge Dredd of the Japanese mega-city Hondo City, albeit not as tough as Dredd himself.

 

That’s demonstrated in the Judgement Day epic, where Dredd manages to outfight both Sadu and Johnny Alpha tag-teaming him, which fortunately for the two of them was interrupted by the call for the mission to take out Sabbat – on which they were all going and which Dredd was commanding.

 

I prefer to forget that incident in placing Sadu in my Top 10 Judge Dredd Heroes – as it makes no sense from anyone’s perspective, including that of Sadu himself, who had been shown to be place the safety of Hondo City above all else, such as his initial antagonism towards Alpha. Not to mention that he had voted for Dredd to be in command of the mission on which he was serving.

 

Instead I prefer to invoke the service on that mission which sees him earn his entry in this top ten – above all his heroic self-sacrificial death which saved the world in the Judgement Day. But for that sacrifice, using his own evisceration by Sabbat as blood magic – or more precisely blood counter-magic – to hijack the literal lodestone of earth’s mystical energy Sabbat was using to power the zombie apocalypse, Dredd and Alpha would have remained helplessly trapped and unable to take down Sabbat. It may have only been brief, but Sadu used that moment to command the lodestone use magic to release Dredd and Alpha – having paid attention when Sabbat ran off his mouth monologuing that he used blood magic to harness the lodestone.

 

PUNCHING OUT CTHULHU AND PARTY ROCK RANKING

 

I have to rank Sadu high in my punching out Cthulhu ranking scale – he may not have punched out Sabbat himself but his literally gutsy sacrifice freed Dredd and Jonny Alpha to punch out Sabbat for him, and everyone else on the planet.

 

However, like most of the heroes in my top ten, Sadu does not even score a blip on my party rock ranking. Apart from Irish Judges and one other lot of Judges we’ll see in my next hero in eighth place, Judges are just buzzkills at parties – and Hondo City Judges more than most, perhaps even more than Mega-City One Judges.

 

RATING: 4 STARS****

B-TIER (HIGH TIER)

 

 

(9) VILLAIN: ANGEL GANG – MEAN MACHINE ANGEL (1980)

(CASE FILES 4 – JUDGE CHILD QUEST: prog 160)

 

“I’m going up to four on ya, Dredd!”

Everyone’s favorite violent cyborg – with four ‘settings’ of rage literally dialed into his head, from one as the lowest albeit still pretty ornery to four as the highest.

And the whole damn gang as well – the villainous and notoriously violent Angel Gang that is, a family of psychopaths that proved so iconic from their introduction as the antagonists in the Judge Child Quest that they had an enduring presence after that epic.

Part of their appeal was how gratuitously violent they were – and for the most part mindlessly as well, with the notable exception of the gang patriarch Pa (thankfully you never see the gang matriarch, at least as far as I’m aware), who is the brains of their operation.

Not that they have much of an operation – which is essentially akin to that of a Mafia family as warlords in the Cursed Earth badlands and relying entirely on abject terror from sheer violence to run their criminal territory. It’s Pa who has the cunning to see the Judge Child as their ticket to something bigger or at least to escape from Texas City and comes up with the plan to kidnap the Judge Child, prompting the Judge Child Quest into deep alien space in pursuit.

The other Angels include Pa’s favored son and heir Junior, Link, Fink and Mean Machine. Fink arguably rivals Pa in cunning, but was so reclusive that he effectively hid from the rest of the family as some sort of Cursed Earth desert rat – while befriending a literal Cursed Earth mutant rat which he called Ratty. It didn’t do much for his appearance – the radioactive environment changing him into the appearance of a ghoul. He was so isolated from the rest of the family that they left him behind for the events of the Judge Child epic – but retain enough Southern family loyalty that he came out of his subterranean lair all the way to Mega-City One to avenge them.

However, if I had to pick out one of the, it’s easily Mean Machine as the most enduring. Of course, it helps that he was literally resurrected from his death in the Judge Child epic by another entry in this top ten, so that he could return as a recurring villain.

Ironically and in a nice blackly comic touch, Mean Machine was originally the only member of the family that was not psychopathic.  As a boy, he was good-natured and showed none of the family’s violent tendencies, liking to pick flowers and that sort of thing. Obviously Pa Angel decided that this pansy stuff simply would not do, and arranged radical…surgery to transform the boy into a murderous cyborg, with four ‘settings’ of rage dialed into his head – with his basic default setting merely as the lowest level of anger.

The Angel Gang was so iconic that they were even shoehorned into the 1995 Judge Dredd film – badly, like most other things in that terrible film. Some might wonder why they don’t rank higher in my top ten – and it’s because as iconic as they were, they weren’t terribly effective and hence wreaked less havoc than the top ten entries. Heck – Mean Machine even oscillated between the psychopathy forced on him and genuine rehabilitation reversing its effects.

 

ELDRITCH ABOMINATION & DARK LORD RANKING

 

Three of the gang don’t rank anywhere as eldritch abominations – Link even looks like he might be more at home in a biker gay bar. Two of them on the other hand – Fink resembles a ghoul from the devastation his radioactive haunt has inflicted on him while Mean Machine has his cyborg appearance.

And they don’t quite rank as potential dark lords either – local criminal warlords perhaps.

 

BODY COUNT HIGHER THAN JUDGEMENT DAY?

 

Sure, the Angel Gang has racked up an impressive body count for what is after all, only a gang of five family members, but nowhere near even a fraction of the three billion (and five mega-cities) killed by Sabbat.

 

RATING: 4 STARS****

A-TIER (TOP TIER)

 

 

(8) HERO: JUDGE BRUCE (1987)

(CASE FILES 11 – OZ: prog 554)

 

“Aww, g’day, Dredd! welcome to Oz!”

Judge Bruce – ya bloody legend! Oz – or the Sydney-Melbourne Conurb – is hands-down the best place to live in Dredd’s twenty-second century and Bruce is the best of their Judges, both Oz and Bruce being introduced in the Oz epic. That was when Dredd went to Australia, ostensibly to recapture the fugitive sky-surfer Chopper but with the real purpose of taking out the Mega-City One renegade Morton Judd and his cloned forces.

The Australian Judges and Judge Bruce resembled the subsequent Irish Judges and Judge Joyce, only better. As usual, Dredd played the straight man in an odd couple pairing with his counterpart or liaison in the other mega-city – and Joyce, characteristically for Oz and its Judges in general, brought a more laidback and humane approach than smacking heads with a daystick that is the signature style of Mega-City One Judges in general and Dredd in particular.

I mean, let’s face it – Dredd needs someone to tell him to calm the drokk down from time to time, and Bruce was the first and best Judge from a laidback mega-city to do it.

Sadly, Judge Bruce was handpicked by Dredd for the mission against Sabbat, and like everyone else but Dredd and Alpha, was killed on it. Still, he had the best last words ever – “Tell you what, Alpha…you not…not such a bad bloke…for a…Pom”.

During Judgement Day, we also learnt his first name was Lenny – a tribute to the American comedian Lenny Bruce. Of course his surname was Bruce – which seems to be a running British gag or stereotype that Australians are usually called Bruce.

 

PUNCHING OUT CTHULHU & PARTY ROCK RANKING

 

On my punching out Cthulhu scale, Judge Bruce would have to score higher than Judge Joyce – as he actually made it to the mission to take out Sabbat – but lower than Judge Sadu, as his heroic death on that mission did not have the same pivotal impact as that of Sadu.

Of course, you could argue that just like every Australian, he routinely punches out Cthulhu just by living in Australia and dealing with its native wildlife – and that’s before we take stock of whatever deadlier form into which the Radback has mutated them.

Oz in general outranks the Emerald Isle for party rock ranking so Judge Bruce is the only Judge I would rank higher than Joyce in the top ten.

 

RATING: 4 STARS****

B-TIER (HIGH TIER)

 

 

(8) VILLAIN: SATANUS (1978)

(CASE FILES 2 – THE CURSED EARTH: prog 73)

 

“Satanus, this is your last chance to surrender!”

I will never tire of this epic Cursed Earth cover by Brian Bolland featuring the tyrannosaur Satanus, even if Dredd’s line is added for comic effect (albeit Dredd does find himself in this predicament and only narrowly escapes).

A top ten place for Satanus – over the Angel Gang and Sabbat – might seem high but he’s just too damn iconic, particularly impressive for its endurance given he featured in only four episodes in the Cursed Earth epic, all the way back in progs 73-76 in Case Files 2.

What can I say? Everything’s cooler with dinosaurs and it doesn’t get much cooler than Satanus, the Cursed Earth black tyrannosaur.

In fairness, four episodes was a substantial arc for the Judge Dredd comic, even as part of an epic. Also in fairness, he was a callback to another 2000 AD comic, the time-travelling dinosaur safari known as Flesh, although he was effectively resurrected from the past by Judge Dredd doing Jurassic Park rather than time travel, albeit the effect was much the same. He also featured in another 2000 AD comic, Nemesis the Warlock, and this time (heh) time travel was involved in taking him to Earth’s galactic future.

He also did return in the Judge Dredd comic in Case Files 3, not in the flesh but in his blood – literally in The Blood of Satanus. It turns out that Satanus is so evil that his blood transforms people into were-tyrannosaurs – a concept that was revived decades later with two further storylines.  You just can’t keep a good tyrannosaur down – and by good, I mean evil.

 

ELDRITCH ABOMINATION & DARK LORD RANKING

 

Satanus ranks surprisingly well on both my eldritch abomination and dark lord rankings, given that he is just a dinosaur. He may not be eldritch as such but he is arguably an abomination made by science in the same way Jurassic Park revived dinosaurs – made even more so by time travel and by blood that apparently has mutagenic properties. And he does rule the Cursed Earth town (and his pack) as a dark lord, even if his aspirations extend only to the town regularly serving up human sacrifices to him as dinner.

 

BODY COUNT HIGHER THAN JUDGEMENT DAY?

 

Satanus had a respectable body count too, perhaps rivalling the Angel Gang – courtesy of a taste for human flesh, indeed a preference for it and that’s not counting that he also killed for the sheer pleasure of it. However – clearly nowhere near even a fraction of the three billion (and five mega-cities) killed by Sabbat.

 

RANKING: 4 STARS****

A-TIER (TOP TIER)

 

 

(7) HERO: JUDGE PRAGER (1983)

(CASE FILES 7 – CRY OF THE WEREWOLF: prog 328)

 

“Hey, Prager – how’s things down there anyway?”

“Grim.”

Judge Prager may have appeared in only one episode in Cry of the Werewolf, but that appearance was so legendary that it alone earned him this place in the top ten.

Firstly, he’s notable for being one of those Judges electing to take the Long Walk not into the Cursed Earth but the Under-City, a place nearly as dangerous and weird. Secondly, there’s that quoted exchange. And thirdly, he saved Dredd after the latter wolfed out – or is that wolfed up? – and returned Dredd to Mega-City One to be cured, the occasion of that quoted exchange.

Indeed, he was so legendary that they couldn’t resist bringing him back decades later to help Dredd against a new threat from the villainous Mr Bones – although this time it’s Prager who wolfs out – or up. And he likes it that way.

 

PUNCHING OUT CTHULHU & PARTY ROCK RANKING

 

Well it may not be quite up there with Cthulhu but taking on Dredd in werewolf form as well as Bones’ Under-City army in his own werewolf form has to rank up there.

Few Mega-City One Judges score high on party rock ranking but Prager would score one of the lowest. Some Judges lighten up and party down on their Long Walk – not Prager. He’s grim.

 

RATING: 4 STARS****

B-TIER (HIGH TIER)

 

 

(7) VILLAIN: PRESIDENT ROBERT “BAD BOB” BOOTH (1978)

(CASE FILES 2 – THE CURSED EARTH: prog 67)

 

The ur-villain of Judge Dredd – the man who made the hot post-apocalyptic dystopian mess of Judge Dredd’s world.

 

The last President of the United States – he started the Atomic Wars in 2070 that turned all but the mega-cities with their missile shields into nuclear wastelands or black oceans.

 

The Judges had been instituted prior to Booth but it was his actions that forced Justice Department to take control of the government in the surviving mega-cities, so you can blame him for that too.

 

The only reason his impact doesn’t rank him higher is that it features mostly as backstory, after he was introduced in the Cursed Earth epic (as serving a century of suspended animation to which he had been sentenced by the Judges).

 

 ELDRITCH ABOMINATION & DARK LORD RANKING

 

No eldritch abomination ranking, which goes to show that the most destructive villains in Judge Dredd are plain old humans. Although I’d say his term in office counts for dark lord ranking. And yes – he blew up the world in only one term of office. One elected term of office that is – he was Vice-President when the President died in office. And I use elected loosely even then as he rigged the vote-counting machines.

 

BODY COUNT HIGHER THAN JUDGEMENT DAY?

 

And yes – Booth is one of three or four villains with a body count higher than Judgement Day, at least potentially thanks to the Atomic Wars he launched. I’ve never seen any reference to the casualties from the Atomic Wars, but I’m prepared to better that it would come close to, or exceed, the three billion killed by Sabbat’s zombie apocalypse.

 

RATING: 4 STARS****

A-TIER (TOP TIER)

 

 

(6) HERO: JUDGE SOUSTER (1981)

(CASE FILES 5 – APOCALYPSE WAR: prog 257)

 

“For freedom, for justice, for Mega-City One!”

The hero of the Battle of Dan Tanna Junction – Judge Souster deserves to be memorialized by a top ten place, gruddamn it!

Souster sacrificed himself to bring down Dan Tanna Junction, the last remaining southbound transport artery from the Sov-occupied northern sectors of the city – plummeting to his death but using one of those superweapon stub guns in freefall to sever the roads improbably holding up the junction like some bizarre version of Jenga.

It’s enough to bring a tear to this Mega-City One patriot’s eye (I love that fictional city!), enough to make me forget that I don’t exactly associate Mega-City One with freedom (although it’s obviously better than the Soviet East Meg One), or that Souster’s heroic sacrifice bought the Mega-City One’s resistance a day or so at most. No, seriously – as we’ll see at a later point, the Apocalypse War is a matter of mere days.

Or for that matter that there remained one route southwards that could not be severed – city bottom or ground level.

But forget that – MC-1! MC-1! MC-1!

 

PUNCHING OUT CHTHULU & PARTY ROCK RANKING

 

Well it’s not really punching out Cthulhu but I’ll still rank him highly for taking out Dan Tanna Junction. And you know with a devil-may-care attitude like that he would have been one of the few Mega-City Judges who was fun at parties.

 

RATING: 4 STARS****

B-TIER (HIGH TIER)

 

(6) VILLAIN: RICO DREDD (1977)

(CASE FILES 1 – THE RETURN OF RICO: prog 30)

 

The ur-villain of Judge Dredd – Joe’s own corrupt clone-brother Rico.

Yes, yes – I know I described President Booth as the ur-villain of Judge Dredd in my previous entry. I stand by that but arguably Rico is even more the ur-villain of Judge Dredd.

For one thing, he appears earlier – in the comic that is as opposed to story chronology, indeed as early as prog 30 reflecting his importance in the Judge Dredd mythos. That importance also saw him as the antagonist in the 1995 Judge Dredd film – gruddamnit.

Long story short – Rico was Dredd’s clone-brother, who may well have been more proficient as a Judge then Dredd himself but became corrupt. Caught by (Joe) Dredd himself and sentenced to Titan, where Mega-City One sends its worst criminals – Judges gone bad. It’s not as secure as you’d expect for a prison in space – as there’s frequent escapes, including Rico – returning for vengeance on his brother in prog 30 but outgunned by the latter, effectively seeing his story introduced and concluded in that episode.

However, Rico remains a fundamental element in the Dredd mythos thereafter – to an extent, Dredd will always carry his clone brother with him.

For one thing, as subsequent episodes reveal, Rico had a daughter, Vienna Dredd, who grows up as Dredd’s niece – and given that Rico was his clone, Vienna is virtually his own daughter. She of course symbolizes Rico’s original corruption – as, like Jedi, Judges are forbidden from sexual relationships (although this is relaxed much later in the series, while still frowned upon by the Justice Department). Dredd distances himself from her, but subsequently assumes a closer paternal role to her – as she in turn grows into one of the strong female characters of the storyline.

For another, and more fundamentally for his status as Dredd’s ur-villain, Judge Dredd and his story remains haunted by this taint in the (clone) bloodline – with Rico as his shadow, the potential corrupt version of himself, and on a larger scale, the Department of Justice. Indeed, Dredd’s best adversaries are dark shadows of himself and the Judges in general, as symbolized by Rico, although Rico remains as more a symbol of Dredd’s own potential for inner conflict.

Rico foreshadowed even darker inversions of Judge Dredd and the Law to come, culminating in Dredd’s ultimate adversary…

 

ELDRITCH ABOMINATION & DARK LORD RANKING

Surprisingly, he does notch up the abomination ranking with the usual surgery to adapt ex-Judges to Titan. He also arguable notches up a dark lord ranking as a corrupt Judge, albeit a petty dark lord. Perhaps if he had remained unchecked or risen higher in the hierarchy we could have seen his dark lord potential really let loose.

 

BODY COUNT BIGGER THAN JUDGEMENT DAY?

Unlike that other Judge Dredd ur-villain President Booth, Rico didn’t really rack up much of a body count – not more than the average Judge anyway.

 

RATING: 4 STARS****

A-TIER (TOP TIER)

 

(5) HERO: JUDGE MORPHY (1984)

(CASE FILES 8 – A QUESTION OF JUDGEMENT: prog 387)

 

Although he was only introduced in prog 387, Judge Morphy’s impact on Judge Dredd goes back well before that – indeed back to when Dredd was a cadet or rookie and Murphy was the senior Judge who supervised Dredd’s Final Assessment to become a full Judge.

 

Thereafter, Morphy continued to mentor Dredd and was effectively a father figure to him. His most memorable advice to Dredd was to requisition boots a size too small to quell doubts about their role as Judges.

 

Sadly, Morphy – or Morph as he was more affectionately known, at least by Dredd – was taken away from us and Dredd when he was killed in action in the prelude to Necropolis, leading to Dredd’s own breakdown and crisis of faith, ultimately to Dredd resigning as Judge and taking the Long Walk (before coming back to save the city in Necropolis).

 

PUNCHING OUT CTHULHU & PARTY ROCK RANKING

 

Sorry, Morph, but wearing boots a size too smaller doesn’t really count as punching out Cthulhu. I’m prepared to give you credit though for mentoring Dredd to punch out Cthulhu.

 

Morph also strikes me as one of the more mellow Judges – and one of the few ones who would be fun at parties.

 

RATING: 4 STARS****

A-TIER (TOP TIER)

 

 

(5) VILLAIN: PJ MAYBE (1987)

(CASE FILES 11: prog 534)

 

Yes – we’re getting to the big guns of Dredd villainy now.

 

Everyone’s favorite juvenile serial killer – who manages to grow up to be an adult serial killer and one of Dredd’s most formidable recurring adversaries, such that he may indeed be ranked among the big guns of Dredd villains. Being elected Mayor of Mega-City One helps, albeit under a stolen identity.

 

That’s quite the feat, particularly as he lacks the supernatural ability or mega-city state backing of the other big guns.

 

Indeed, all he has is his genius intelligence, albeit not reflected in his poor spelling – although the latter is something of a running gag, one of many that make Maybe so entertaining even as you want Dredd to apprehend him.

 

Although when you boil it down, Maybe owes his success as a villain to shuffling cards from a surprisingly small deck of tricks – apart of course from being incredibly lucky, until he isn’t from playing the odds too long or too often. It would be unfair to call him a one trick pony but he does seem to have three favorite tricks – robotics (such as the robot ‘bug’ with which he is introduced in his very first episode “Bug”), hypnotic drugs (SLD-88 and SLD-89), and face-changing machines. Four if you count his skill at lying and acting as other personas, including his own innocent juvenile persona.

 

ELDRITCH ABOMINATION & DARK LORD RANKING

 

As noted, PJ is one of Dredd’s most persistent antagonists without any supernatural ability – or other traits such as eldritch abomination. He does have a stint at dark lord as Mayor of Mega-City One, although surprisingly he was one of the best and most benevolent Mayors.

 

BODY COUNT BIGGER THAN JUDGEMENT DAY?

 

No – and by design, as PJ himself noted that one of the characteristics of a successful serial killer is a sense of self-control or restraint. In other words, not trying to kill too many people – “one at a time, that’s my motto”. Indeed, he disparages “people with body counts in the millions” – “just look wat hapens to people like that”.

 

RATING: 5 STARS*****

S-TIER (GOD-TIER – OR IS THAT DEVIL-TIER?)

 

 

(4) HERO: JUDGE MINTY (1980)

(CASE FILES 3 – JUDGE MINTY: prog 147)

 

For a Judge that appeared in only one episode, albeit one that had his name as its title, he had quite the impact – hence this place entry.

 

Part of that is he is the Judge through whom we are introduced to the Long Walk, with Minty himself taking it at the close of the episode.

 

Part of that is also his humane attitude as he has aged as an active Judge, taking a soft line towards the citizens – that it might be an idea for the Judges to treat them like people. Of course we can’t have any pansy stuff like that as a Judge, now can we? Dredd almost tells him as much – and it’s not only what got him wounded in the line of action, but what sees him retire as a Judge. And as this episode introduced, Judges don’t retire – they take the Long Walk (with some exceptions like the Academy of Law tutors).

 

Minty also had an impact on Dredd himself – such that Dredd recalls Minty when he is having his own crisis of faith in his role as Judge in the prelude to Necropolis, eleven Case File volumes later in Case Files 14, no doubt prompting him to his own decision to resign and take the Long Walk. Of course it didn’t help that he had lost his mentor Morphy – although it may well be argued that the two of them, Minty and Morphy, were twin influences guiding Dredd as Judge, given that Dredd thinks back to Minty years later with much the same doubts in the system as expressed by Minty.

 

Minty was such a fan favorite that fans even made a short film of him, featuring the episode and his subsequent Long Walk.

 

PUNCHING OUT CTHULHU & PARTY ROCK RANKING

 

Not that we see but the Long Walk is pretty much an invitation to go punching out Cthulhu, given the usual mutated high weirdness that inhabits the Cursed Earth.

 

And also given what we see of his attitude, Minty would be one of those few Mega-City One Judges who’d be fun at parties.

 

RATING: 4 STARS****

A-TIER (TOP TIER)

 

 

(4) VILLAIN: OWEN KRYSLER – JUDGE CHILD / THE MUTANT (1980)

(CASE FILES 4 – JUDGE CHILD QUEST: prog 156)

 

“I see only…evil” You sure do, Judge Dredd, you sure do. Pure evil.

That of course was – spoiler alert for the Judge Child Quest – the big reveal of the Judge Child Quest epic.

The epic opened with its premise – one of the most important elements in Dredd lore, for which few things would loom larger or cast a longer shadow. That was the deathbed prediction of Psi Division’s foremost pre-cog, Judge Feyy, with his track record of 88.8% accuracy in predicting the future, that Mega-City One would be destroyed in 2120 (so 18 years in the future in the comic’s timeline of that prediction in 2102) by a “ghastly war” from which “foul creatures” would rise up to prey on the survivors unless Judge Dredd can find the Judge Child, Feyy’s fated savior of the city.

Turned out that Feyy was wrong and the Judge Child was evil – which Dredd of course could confirm just by looking in his eyes – so Dredd abandoned him on the planet of Xanadu in deep alien space, leaving Mega-City One to deal with whatever was coming in 2120 on its own. When the Judge Child tried to get his revenge, Dredd ordered the twenty-second equivalent of a drone strike to take him out.

But then it turned out that Feyy was right after all – as the Judge Child was inextricably linked with the city’s fate in 2120. Unfortunately, his 11.2% inaccuracy was – again spoiler alert for City of the Damned – that the Judge Child was the cause, not the cure. Once again Psi Division is useless as usual apart from Anderson – even when they get things right they also get them horribly wrong.

Wait – what? Didn’t I say Dredd killed him? Yes – I did but Owen Krysler was so evil, he came back from the dead to be even more evil, as the Mutant cloned from his cells by the robot king of Xanadu. So yes – Dredd had to kill him again.

 

ELDRITCH ABOMINATION & DARK LORD RANKING

As the Judge Child – not so much. As the Mutant – you bet! As both eldritch abomination and as dark lord.

BODY COUNT BIGGER THAN JUDGEMENT DAY?

And yes – Owen Krysler is one of my top ten Judge Dredd villains with a potential body count bigger than Sabbat’s three billion in Judgement Day.

Wait – what? As Judge Child, he’s distinctly lackluster in villainous body count, arguably killing no one – as we later see, he couldn’t even get killing Pa Angel right.

Worse for a budding Dredd villain, he’s even on the negative side of the ledger, as he resurrects Mean Machine Angel, setting his body count from 0 to -1. Sure, thereafter you could probably count him as party to Mean and Fink Angel’s roaring rampage of revenge as well as the casualties to it, but distinctly unimpressive as a Dredd villain body count.

But it’s as The Mutant, his clone in 2120, that he potentially racks up those Sabbat numbers. There’s Mega-City One for starters, so about 400 million. Yes – I know there are still survivors when Dredd and Anderson drop in…but I wouldn’t bet that he stuck to Mega-City One and left the rest of the world alone.

 

RATING: 5 STARS*****

(S-TIER: GOD TIER – OR IS THAT MUTANT-TIER?)

 

 

(3) HERO: JUDGE GIANT JR (1990)

(CASE FILES 13 – YOUNG GIANT: prog 651)

 

We all knew Judge Giant was too smooth not to be a ladies’ man – hence his son, filling his father’s boots as Judge and hitting the ground running in Necropolis (as well as Judgement Day).

Dredd assesses him as rookie – and we all knew young Giant was going to make it when he arrested the perp who killed his mother, rather than just gun him down as he was sorely tempted to do.

Thereafter he’s one of Dredd’s best and most loyal colleagues in Justice Department.

 

PUNCHING OUT CTHULHU & PARTY ROCK RANKING

 

Well when hitting the ground running in Necropolis includes facing down Judge Mortis, I think we can count that as punching out Cthulhu, even if facing down basically mean leading his fellow cadets to evade pursuit by Mortis.

Probably not as much fun as his father at parties though.

 

RATING: 4 STARS****

A-TIER (TOP TIER)

 

 

(3) VILLAIN: CHIEF JUDGE CAL(1978)

(CASE FILES 2 – THE DAY THE LAW DIED: prog 86)

 

“You dare!”

The reason the Law died in The Day the Law Died – essentially Caligula as Chief Judge of MC-1.

Sentenced the whole city to death. Twice.

It’s striking that the most dangerous villains in the Judge Dredd comic…are Judges. Indeed, the top three of my Top 10 Judge Dredd Villains are all Judges. In fairness, the top two are not Judges of Mega-City One – or Judges of a very different type – but Cal was. As such, he represents perhaps the most insidious type of villain in the Judge Dredd comic – a Judge as villain, embodying the inherent brutality or corruption within Justice Department, and at its extreme the threat to Mega-City One from within Justice Department itself.

Cal earns his third place entry because it is a rare Mega-City One Judge that poses an existential threat to the city as he did. That threat came in the form of the insane Judge Cal’s rise to the position of Chief Judge, essentially by way of coup – although disturbingly he was able to rise to the position of Deputy Chief Judge first to launch that coup.

Cal wasn’t the last Mega-City One Judge as villain to rise to the position of Chief Judge or even perhaps to pose an existential threat to the city – but he was the first and arguably the most archetypal. Cal embodied a recurring theme in Judge Dredd – the dangers of corruption, and especially the corruption of power, within the Justice Department, albeit rarely at the level of existential threat to the city as it was with Cal. Ironically, the source of that corruption in Cal’s case was his position as head of the SJS or Special Judicial Squad, essentially the Justice Department’s equivalent of Internal Affairs or the body of Judges who judge other Judges. Nominally, the Special Judicial Squad is meant to guard against corruption within the Justice Department, but in practice in this and subsequent storylines they tend to have a somewhat antagonistic role to the rest of the Department (and Dredd in particular) at best and be a source of power unto themselves at worst.

Cal borrowed his storyline from a classical source – the ill-fated reign of Roman Emperor Caligula, straight from the pages of Suetonius’ The Twelve Caesars, or more so as it was closer in time to this epic, the BBC TV adaptation of Robert Graves’ I Claudius. Indeed, Judge Cal was named for Caligula (with his appearance modelled on John Hurt’s portrayal in the BBC TV series), and he is even named AS Judge Caligula when introduced (and The Day the Law Died was subsequently collected under that title). Of course, if that was his actual name, it would seem to have been begging for trouble. I mean, what next? Judge Hitler?

Anyway, his insanity mirrored that of Caligula, albeit (somewhat disappointingly) without the depravity – not surprisingly in the more ascetic Justice Department of Mega-City One, or even more so, in the publishing restrictions for 2000 AD. And so as Caligula appointed his horse as a senator of Rome, Judge Cal appoints a goldfish as Deputy Chief Judge Fish, ironically remembered fondly by the Mega-City One citizenry for a death that saved the city.  Speaking of which, the insanity of Judge Cal sentencing the entire city to death twice also evoked the historical Caligula, who according to Suetonius wished that all the city of Rome had but one neck.

However, Judge Cal is made more dangerous in his insanity – and hence earns his place among the top tier of Judge Dredd’s villains – in that, unlike his historical predecessor, he at least had the cunning and presence of mind for a technique of mind control to ensure the loyalty of his equivalent of the imperial Praetorian Guard.  And as a failsafe, when Mega-City Judges proved too unreliable, to import a new Praetorian Guard – in the form of alien Klegg mercenaries.

 

ELDRITCH ABOMINATION AND DARK LORD RANKING

Yeah, he’s just human so has one of the lowest rankings as eldritch abomination, matched only by the other humans in this top ten President Booth and PJ Maybe (as Mean Machine Angel and arguably Rico have been made into cyborgs, ranking somewhat higher as eldritch abominations). On the other hand, he scores highly as Dark Lord, albeit too mentally unstable for a long reign as Chief Judge.

 

BODY COUNT BIGGER THAN JUDGEMENT DAY?

Yeah, he talked the talk (sentencing the city to death twice) but did he walk the walk (scoring a body count to rival that of Sabbat in Judgement Day)? No.

 

RATING: 5 STARS*****

S-TIER (GOD TIER – OR IS THAT CAL-TIER?)

 

 

 

(2) HERO: JUDGE GIANT (1977)

(CASE FILES 1 – THE ACADEMY OF LAW: prog 27)

 

Dredd’s first cadet and arguably still the best, even all these years after dying in the line of duty. Yes – he was probably a little too mellow for an ideal Judge, hence Judge Giant Jr, but he saved Dredd in The Day the Law Died and was killed by Orlok at the height of Block Mania,

 

That was a heartbreaking moment for readers – arguably the only character death in the Judge Dredd comic to that time (and perhaps since) that could have the most impact short of killing off Dredd himself. Particularly with the panel of his death replicating Michelangelo’s Pieta, with Dredd cradling the dying or dead Giant – which of course also had its impact on Dredd. And damn – Dredd could have used him during the Apocalypse War…

 

His name would appear to originate from his father’s nickname – John “Giant” Clay, main character of the ‘aeroball’ sport team, Harlem Heroes (a story from the early days of the 2000 AD anthology comic, long since faded compared to 2000 AD’s flagship character Judge Dredd).

 

 

PUNCHING OUT CTHULHU & PARTY ROCK RANKING

 

No punching out Cthulhu moments for Giant but the highest party rock ranking of any of my top ten heroes. And let’s face it – as someone to hang out with, not to mention impressing the ladies, Giant was much cooler than Dredd.

 

 

RATING: 4 STARS****

A-TIER (TOP TIER)

 

 

(2) VILLAIN: SOV JUDGES – WAR MARSHAL “MAD DOG” KAZAN (1977 / 1981)

(SOV JUDGES: CASE FILES 1 – THE FIRST LUNA OLYMPICS: prog 50)

(WAR MARSHAL KAZAN: CASE FILES 5 – APOCALYPSE WAR: prog 250)

 

 

Gruddamn I love the Sov Judges! The best Dredd antagonists, barring my first place entry of course – collectively and individually, with enough of the latter for their own top ten.

 

I always loved the look of the Sov Judges, with all their Soviet paraphernalia of which Stalin himself would be proud – they just look so damn cool! Indeed, there are times when I think they look cooler than their American Mega-City One counterparts.

 

The Sov Judges were introduced early in the comic – indeed in the Luna arc compiled in Case Files 1 – as the most persistent recurring antagonists of Mega-City One, perhaps the obvious choice as such given their introduction and their main epic The Apocalypse War were written prior to the fall of the Soviet Union. Subsequent storylines seem to redress this as some sort of neo-Soviet revival, perhaps as part or a result of the Atomic Wars.

 

The Sov Judges are also the most effective recurring adversaries of Mega-City One, wiping out half the city in the Apocalypse War (albeit their own city East Meg One was wiped out, leaving East Meg Two) and almost the other half in the Day of Chaos.

 

So in picking a top Sov for this spot, it would have to be War Marshal Kazan, the primary Sov antagonist of the Apocalypse War.

 

 

ELDRITCH ABOMINATION & DARK LORD RANKING

 

At least the Sovs are human so no eldritch abomination ranking for them (although from time to time they do seem to have some eldritch abominations up their sleeve or at least attempt to harness them).

 

The Sovs in general and War Marshal Kazan in particular would score high in dark lord ranking, particularly as Kazan’s military command style seemed to be a combination of “we have reserves” and “you have failed me”.

 

BODY COUNT BIGGER THAN JUDGEMENT DAY?

 

Yes – I’m calling it. Kazan and the Sovs actually beat Sabbat’s three billion body count. Them Sov Blockers is throwin’ down some heavy stuff!

 

But wait a minute – the Apocalypse War only racked up about 900 million, you say? 400 million in Mega-City One – or half the city – and 500 million in East Meg One – or all of that city?

 

Ah yes – but it’s easy to forget the Apocalypse Warp, where an entire earth in a parallel dimension was nuked to oblivion, presumably at least 2 billion or so. (And yes – technically that was MC-1 nukes aimed at East Meg One but I’m blaming the Sovs).

 

Not to mention the Chaos Day sequel to the Apocalypse War by renegade Sovs decades later – which almost wiped out MC-1 with 350 million or so (albeit the body count was revised downwards). And you can’t tell me the Chaos Bug would have been confined to MC-1…

 

RATING: 5 STARS*****

S-TIER (GOD TIER – OR IS THAT SOV-TIER?)

 

 

(1) HERO: JUDGE DREDD (1977)

(CASE FILES 1 – JUDGE WHITEY: prog 2. Yes – Judge Dredd only started in the second issue of 2000 AD)

 

I mean, yeah – who else was it going to be? He is the Law! Also the title character.

 

Also a futuristic Dirty Harry in a dystopian SF satire – and very much a post-apocalyptic one. You can probably keep adding those post- prefixes to that post-apocalyptic.

 

Dystopian, post-apocalyptic SF satire might be the foundation of (and set much of the tone for) the storyline of Judge Dredd, but Dredd himself as futuristic Dirty Harry is the core of the story, and certainly for the action in it.

 

The origins of the character as Dirty Harry ‘tough cop’ are not too surprising, given that it coincided with the period of the Dirty Harry movies from 1971 to 1988 (the comic itself starting between the third and fourth movies, The Enforcer and Sudden Impact) – Dirty Harry of course being San Francisco Police Department detective Harry Callahan played by Clint Eastwood.

 

Dredd himself is stylistically and visually reminiscent of Clint Eastwood as Dirty Harry – the height (and the lanky frame, particularly in the original art – although other artists have added the characteristic musculature of heroes in comics), the stoic expression (with the helmet visor substituting for Eastwood’s squint), the laconic wit and the whispered menace (at least as far as one can tell from his minimalist mouth movements). Anyone who doubts the dominant influence of Dirty Harry need look no further than the name of the city block where Dredd resided (that is, slept between street patrols) as ‘block judge’. The names of the city blocks are generally derived from the twentieth century and typically have some humorous, narrative or thematic significance, subtle or otherwise – Dredd’s block is Rowdy Yates, the name of Clint Eastwood’s character in the TV western series Rawhide.

 

Above all, Dredd shares the predominant character theme of Dirty Harry as driven by duty and an instinct for justice. For Dirty Harry, that instinct for justice tends to come up against those pesky legal rights and technicalities (“I have a right to a lawyer!” his adversary Scorpio smarmily declares in the first movie), whereas for Dredd, it is embodied by the Law and himself as agent of the Law, hence his catchphrase identification with it. (Of course, there’s arguments against operating on an ‘instinct’ for justice, not least that while such an instinct may be readily vindicated in a fictional narrative, it is less so in real life).

 

Dredd is also effectively a quintessential American hero in the same vein as Batman – relying on superior discipline, training, experience, equipment and resources, except as a governmental law officer rather than a vigilante billionaire. They even both effectively remain masked in their public identities, as Dredd never removes his helmet.

 

 

PUNCHING OUT CTHULHU & PARTY ROCK RANKING

 

Yeah, punching out Cthulhu is a regular thing for Dredd, such as the classic panel of him literally punching out Judge Fear while quipping “gaze into the fist of Dredd” (in reply to Fear’s catchphrase “gaze into the face of Fear”). He wouldn’t be much fun at parties though.

 

RATING: 5 STARS*****

S-TIER (GOD-TIER – OR IS THAT DREDD-TIER?)

 

 

(1) VDARK JUDGES – JUDGE DEATH (1980 / 1981)

(JUDGE DEATH: CASE FILES 3 – JUDGE DEATH: prog 149)

(DARK JUDGES: CASE FILES 5 – JUDGE DEATH LIVES: prog 224)

 

The crime is life! The sentence is death!

Yeah, who else was it going to be? The Dark Judges – Judges Death, Fire, Fear and Mortis – are essentially the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse in the Judge Dredd comic (except of course for the actual Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse that featured in End of Days).

But of course if you have to choose just one of them, it has to be Judge Death – the most iconic of the Dark Judges and who was introduced well ahead of his fellow supernatural extra-dimensional fiends.

Whereas Rico was Dredd’s potential corrupt shadow of himself, Judge Death was his absolute dark inversion – and ultimate adversary. Judge Death are utterly inhuman and zealous to their Law, in which the literally crime is life and the sentence is death. Or in other words, some serious troll logic, reasoning from the basis that only the living commit crimes. True to that logic and their Law, Judge Death and the Dark Judges have been supernaturally transformed into undead beings – somewhat similar to Sabbat, the equivalent of a lich in Dungeons and Dragons.

 

ELDRITCH ABOMINATION AND DARK LORD RANKING

The most eldritch abominations in my top ten – literally. Surprisingly, they don’t rank quite so well as dark lords, despite certain similiarities in appearance and nature, mainly because they don’t so much want subjects to rule as worlds to kill.

 

BODY COUNT BIGGER THAN JUDGEMENT DAY?

Yes of course the Dark Judges outdo Sabbat.

But hang on – isn’t their body count in Mega-City One surprisingly low? I mean didn’t the Sovs do better in the Apocalypse War than the Dark Judges in Necropolis?

After all, the Sovs did 400 million in a few days while the Dark Judges ónly managed 60 million controlling MC-1 for months. Of course, it helps that the Sovs used nukes while the Dark Judges insist upon doing their “justice” all individually by hand

In fairness, the Sovs are the all-time body count champion villains of Judge Dredd. And for that matter, while Sabbat racked up three billion globally, it’s not clear how many of those were in MC-1 – but I’d be prepared to bet a lot less than the 60 million of Necropolis

However, speaking of globally, lest we forget that while the Dark Judges have been limited in our dimension, they killed everyone in their own dimension – Deathworld, essentially a parallel counterpart of Dredd’s 22nd century world, so outrank Sabbat on that basis. They also prefer their dead to stay dead.

 

RATING: 5 STARS*****

S-TIER (GOD TIER – OR IS THAT DEATH-TIER?)

 

 

TOP 10 JUDGE DREDD HEROES (TIER LIST)

*

S-TIER (GOD TIER)

(1) JUDGE DREDD

*

A-TIER (TOP TIER)

(2) JUDGE GIANT

(3) JUDGE GIANT JR.

*

B-TIER (HIGH TIER)

(4) JUDGE MINTY

(5) JUDGE MORPHY

(6) JUDGE SOUSTER

(7) JUDGE PRAGER

(8) JUDGE BRUCE (SYDNEY-MELBOURNE CONURB)

(9) JUDGE SADU (HONDO CITY)

*

X-TIER (WILD TIER)

(10) JUDGE JOYCE (MURPHYVILLE)

*

*

TOP 10 JUDGE DREDD VILLAINS (TIER LIST)

*

S-TIER (GOD TIER)

(1) DARK JUDGES – JUDGE DEATH

(2) SOV JUDGES – WAR MARSHAL KAZAN

(3) CHIEF JUDGE CAL

(4) OWEN KRYSLER – JUDGE CHILD / THE MUTANT

(5) P.J. MAYBE

*

A-TIER (TOP TIER)

(6) RICO DREDD

(7) PRESIDENT BOOTH

(8) SATANUS

(9) ANGEL GANG – MEAN MACHINE ANGEL

*

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(10) SABBAT

Mega-City Law – Top 10 Judge Dredd Girls

 

Counting down my Top 10 Girls of Judge Dredd for the episodes compiled up to Case Files 19 – it’s a running list which I will update for each volume, with some of the best entries yet to come from future episodes…

Like my Top 10 Heroes, Judges tend to predominate the entries, with six of my Top 10 Girls of Judge Dredd as female Judges – and half of those are Psi-Judges, not surprisingly given the prevalence of female Psi-Judges in the comic. Of course, it helps that Psi-Judges don’t wear helmets, but I’d be willing to bet that Psi Division might have the highest proportion of female Judges, perhaps reflecting a higher proportion of females in the psi-active population.

 

 

(10) BABES IN ARMS – TIGER HUNTER NEE MARLOWE (1992)
(CASE FILES 17 – BABES IN ARMS: prog 776)

 

For my Judge Dredd top tens, I tend to draw my wildcard tenth place entry from the most current or previous Case File volume in my Mega-City Law reviews. However at present there are slim pickings from Case Files 18 or 19 so I’ve gone with the titular Babes in Arms of the four episode roaring rampage of revenge in progs 776-779 from Case Files 17.

“They say hell hath no fury like a woman scorned…Tonight, Mega-City One and Judge Dredd will feel that fury.”

Of course, there are four of the titular Babes in Arms, four ex-wives from Mega-City Two seeking out their former husbands in Mega-City One – who, let’s be honest, have it coming. A collective entry may do for a special mention but I have to pick one for a top ten entry. Fortunately, again that’s an easy choice – the first of the babes in arms we see, who also is the best, Tiger Hunter – or Tiger Marlowe prior to her marriage . Yes, that’s her actual name – and I must confess I fell a little in love with Tiger when I first saw her, striking quite the figure (somewhat reminiscent of this episode’s artist Greg Staples’ art of Niamh in Slaine), a blue-eyed wild redhead with a calm tone of voice but fire in her eyes as she confronts her cad of a husband. The other babes in arms didn’t quite do it for me but Tiger…

Sadly, the Babes’ roaring rampage of revenge can only end one way when it comes up against Judge Dredd. Even poor Tiger looks spooked to see Dredd is involved. Fortunately, she doesn’t end up dead but in an iso-cube, although unfortunately I don’t recall any subsequent appearance.

 

RATING: 4 STARS****
X-TIER (WILD TIER)

 

 

(9) PSI-JUDGE KARYN (1991)
(CASE FILES 16 – RAPTAUR: Megazine 1.14)

 

Introduced as a Psi-Judge hotshot in the Megazine Raptaur story.

I suppose that’s ex-Psi Judge Karyn now, as her hotshot career was cut short when she became host to the vampiric Shadow King

 

RATING: 4 STARS****
B-TIER (HIGH TIER)

 

 

( 8 ) PSI-JUDGE KIT AGEE (1990):
(CASE FILES 14 – NECROPOLIS: prog 676)

 

Poor empath Psi-Judge Kit Agee – served up by Kraken Dredd to be used as a conduit for the Sisters of Death and kick-start Necropolis

Bonus points for being gal pals with Anderson and nicknaming Dredd “His Majesty”.

 

RATING: 4 STARS****
B-TIER (HIGH TIER)

 

 

(7) WU WANG (1989)
(CASE FILES 13 – ON MEETING YOUR ENEMY: prog 622)

 

Wu Wang (or so she calls herself) was introduced all the way back in Case Files 13 prior to Necropolis, as a female disciple of Stan Lee’s dojo, bent on vengeance for Dredd’s defeat of Stan Lee, a.k.a Deathfist, “the best martial artist to ever come out of the radlands of Ji” who ended up in an iso-cube courtesy of Dredd.

In that episode, she was not named – although she should have been dubbed Lady Deathfist – and despite her obvious enthusiasm for her training in destroying a robot duplicate of Dredd, bided her time for three years until we saw her again.

In fairness, Dredd did unexpectedly take the long walk and then there was the whole Necropolis thing the next year.

Anyway, she returned for a four-episode story, Art of Geomancy, in progs 762-765 compiled in Case Files 16.

Funnily enough, he just happens to be doing airport border control duty when she arrives on her flight, presumably from Sino-Cit 1 or Sino-Cit 2. She could have got her vengeance there and then but to paraphrase one of my favorite lines from American Dad – sure she could have killed him immediately with her knowledge of pressure points, but she wanted to try something much more elaborate and unnecessary. In this case, that involves literally sticking a paper with her calling card on his back, the character for Deathfist and the character for rolling thunder…or wu wang. Apparently the character can also convey surprise or the unexpected – which is ironic as she’d now lost any element of that.

She also has a curious choice of ninja stealth outfit – a swimsuit design not unlike that of the Marvel comics character Psylocke, and worse, in white, but as terrible as it is for ninja stealth, it’s what gets her this entry in the top ten, albeit as something of a placeholder until the likes of Demarco or Oola Blint come along.

Anyway, she springs the trap and captures Dredd – sure, she could just kill him but she wants him to break him first, to have him apologize, for honor or ‘face’. Ironically, Dredd uses surprise or the unexpected – his back-up Judges arriving = to get the jump on her. No iso-cube for her either – he just kills her, snapping her neck, although to be fair his options were very limited from a single opportunity. Still, it seems like a double standard compared to what happened to Stan Lee.

 

RATING: 4 STARS****
B-TIER (HIGH TIER)

 

 

(6) VIENNA DREDD (1979)
(CASE FILE 3 – VIENNA: prog 116)

 

You must have seen this one coming. Or perhaps not since she vanished as a young girl from the comic for 23 years, returning as an adult. Yes – she gets in my top ten up to Case Files 17 on a technicality, as she appeared as a child in a single episode, but I’m taking it, with an eye ahead to her reappearance as an adult in future episodes.

That’s right – it’s Dredd’s niece, daughter of his corrupt clone-brother Rico.

She was introduced all the way back in prog 116, the first episode collected in Case Files 3 – the same episode that saw Dredd send her away for 23 years. It was worth it just to see “Uncle Joe” pushing Vienna on a swing – adorable!

The plot of the episode is driven by Vienna being kidnapped by someone seeking revenge against Dredd – a recurring plot point for Vienna when we see her again as an adult.

As a final venomous sting, her kidnapper tells her that Dredd killed Rico, something Dredd had kept secret from Vienna, for obvious reasons of the therapy THAT would involve. Yet Vienna forgives him for killing her father, because “Uncle Joe” must have had a good reason.

Seriously, I wiped away a tear at that. Even more so as Dredd tells her guardian, Mrs Pasternak, that he will see even less of Vienna – and hopes that Mrs Pasternak will help Vienna forget him. As he thinks to himself as he walks out of Vienna’s life, “I’m a judge. Someday I, too, will be killed. Vienna couldn’t take that again, not a second time. She’s suffered enough because of me. Let it end here”.

And indeed we did see less of her – nothing – until those 23 years later, when she was to return into Dredd’s life on a more enduring basis. After all, she was too good a character to let lie, as a reflection of Dredd’s humanity, with all the conflict that brings with the Law

 

RATING: 4 STARS****
B-TIER (HIGH TIER). At least for now until we reach those episodes where she reappears but I’m counting her from her first appearance.

 

 

(5) JUDGE DEKKER (1984)
(CASE FILES 7 – SUPERBOWL: prog 370)

 

A promising female Judge – whom Dredd thought to be his best rookie – blazing through a few episodes before fading out of sight, until being revived as a character (by writer Garth Ennis in the 1990s) only to be killed off (by Ennis in Judgement Day). Talk about women in refrigerators…that old trope in comics of female characters being routinely killed off (named for one such character stuffed into a refrigerator).

Dekker was introduced with somewhat more fanfare than the similar Judge Perrier – a rookie Judge assigned to Dredd for her final field evaluation to qualify as full Judge, and one whom Dredd muses to be his best rookie ever. She passes with flying colors – attributing her success to Dredd’s own text on comportment. Dredd you magnificent bastard, she read your book!

In appearance and role, she resembled the more enduring Judge Hershey, although Hershey was not formally Dredd’s rookie – probably because the writers hoped to reuse that character formula.

Unfortunately, she vanished from the comic until a decade or so later, as writer Garth Ennis was fanboy of the 1980s Dredd comics and revived her character, but even more unfortunately Dekker went out with a bang during the Judgement Day epic

RIP Judge Dekker

 

RATING: 4 STARS****
B-TIER (HIGH TIER)

 

 

(4) JUDGE PERRIER (1982)
(CASE FILES 5 – APOCALYPSE WAR: prog 255)

 

Yes, last entry was something of a spoiler for her in this entry but Judge Perrier deserves to be memorialized within the Judge Dredd comic as the unsung hero of the Apocalypse War. She was introduced as a tough as nails street Judge and member of the Mega-City One resistance force in the Apocalypse War. And as has been pointed out by Judge Anon’s A Short History of Female Judges, she singlehandedly turned the tide of an entire battle (and much of the fighting within Mega-City One) by turning over a powerful new weapon – the stub guns – to Judge Dredd and his guerilla force.

Sadly, she only featured in a few panels in that epic and dropped out of sight until writer Garth Ennis took a liking to the character and used her in the 1990s. (Judge Anon opines that was because Ennis was a huge Dredd fanboy and an even huger Apocalypse War fanboy). Even more sadly, Ennis killed her off in the Judgement Day epic, albeit in quite moving fashion

RIP Judge Perrier

 

RATING: 4 STARS****
B-TIER (HIGH TIER)

 

 

 

(3) LIANA (1989)
(CASE FILES 12 – THE FURTHER ADVENTURES OF PJ MAYBE, AGE 14: prog 599)

 

Yeah – I’d kill for her too, PJ.

Briefly the girlfriend of PJ Maybe, Liana earns her place in my Girls of Judge Dredd from this pose alone in prog 633, looking fine after her morning swim – although she was first introduced as his love interest back in prog 599. Like his parents, she was completely oblivious to his “psychopathic tendencies” as a juvenile serial killer.

In fairness he did actively try to avoid killing his targets when she was his girlfriend, although that was more to avoid suspicion – but that slipped up through sheer bad luck, ending up with him apprehended by Judge Dredd and detained in a psych cube.

Sadly, we only caught a few glimpses of Liana like this in these episodes – and while PJ was to return, we didn’t see Liana again. But she’ll always have a place in my heart (and probably PJ’s) from this pose alone.

 

RATING: 4 STARS****
B-TIER (HIGH TIER)

 

 

(2) (CHIEF) JUDGE BARBARA HERSHEY (1980)
(CASE FILES 4 – JUDGE CHILD QUEST: prog 161)

 

Judge Hershey was memorably introduced, not quite as Dredd’s rookie, but as a rising new Judge picked for Dredd’s deep-space planet-hopping Judge Child Quest – shortly after her graduation from the Academy of Law in 2102 at age eighteen. She so impressed Dredd that she returned in the Apocalypse War, where she was part of Dredd’s hand-picked elite squad to take down the Soviet mega-city East Meg One. For nearly two decades thereafter, she regularly appeared as Dredd’s junior colleague, before being promoted to become his superior.

Barbara Hershey – or Judge Hershey to you, punk – is one of the two primary female judges in the Judge Dredd comic, the other of course being Psi-Judge Cassandra Anderson. Dare I call her the brunette Judge Anderson?

In appearance, Hershey shares Anderson’s preference for not wearing helmets, characteristic of a Psi-Judge for the latter but unusual in a street Judge for the former, although Hershey’s sci-fi bob was drawn to resemble a Judge’s helmet. They also share their preference for the occasional high-heeled boots. Otherwise, Hershey was drawn for a sterner, more – ah- judicial appearance than Anderson’s characteristic softer appearance (originally modelled on singer Deborah Harry), as befitting the latter’s more empathic nature as a Psi-Judge. That isn’t to say that Hershey is not of similarly striking appearance – she even has her fans within the comic’s storyline, although that often overlaps with something of a fetish for female Chief Judges. Well, female Chief Judges that weren’t McGruder. Notably Hershey’s face is apparently a highly sought after model among dominatrix s€xbots. Yes, Chief Judge!

The strongest comparison is in their narrative importance within the comic, although Hershey would rank below Anderson in character focus (and lack of her own spinoff title, until recently). And of course, each had very different destinies. As Psi-Judge, Anderson has followed the road less travelled (although the stuff of Psi-Judges makes for more interesting stories, hence the spinoff title). Hershey was the street Judge par excellence – and as noted above, rose to THE top spot as Chief Judge, rising through the ranks to the Council of Five and appointments as acting Chief Judge and Deputy Chief Judge.

And one of the best features of Chief Judge Hershey is her sass – she doesn’t take crap from anyone, least of all Dredd himself. As Chief Judge, she continues to have a good relationship with Dredd, but let’s face it, Dredd has his issues from time to time (and from writer to writer).

 

RATING: 4 STARS****
A-TIER (TOP TIER)

 

 

(1) PSI-JUDGE JUDGE CASSANDRA ANDERSON (1980)
(CASE FILES 3 – JUDGE DEATH: prog 150)

 

Judge Dredd’s – and anthology publication 2000 AD’s – most iconic and enduring female character, something which may be related to her status as the comic’s primary pinup girl. A status that may also be in the actual narrative or ‘in-universe’ in the comic as well, depending on how seriously we take the advertisements with her as model for Yess Trousers, the contractor for those judicial leather uniforms.

She was introduced in 1980, along with the comic’s most iconic and enduring supervillain, in the Judge Death story arc, as the primary female character in Judge Dredd – in both senses of the first major female character and the most substantial one, even spinning off in storylines in her own name.

She also served as the introduction to Mega-City One Justice Department’s ‘psychic’ judges against such supernatural threats as Judge Death, although they use the characteristically science fiction nomenclature of ‘psi’ for the Psi-Division or Psi-Judges. Anderson is introduced as Psi Division’s leading telepath (and precognitive), with her appearance originally modelled on contemporary singer Debbie Harry.

She was also introduced as something of a foil to Dredd, albeit not in the same villainous way as Judge Death – as opposed to Dredd’s laconic and taciturn expression, she has a cheery disposition (regarded by Dredd as flippant), which lends itself to cracking jokes, often at Dredd’s expense. Then again, this is part of her nature as a Psi-Judge, as they all tend towards eccentric personalities by Justice Department standards (and tolerated as part of their useful abilities). In Anderson’s case, her ability earned her the enduring trust of Dredd – and she remains one of the few people who regularly calls him by his first name Joe or that he trusts enough for his most important missions. It wasn’t just her ability that earned his trust, but her strength of character and courage, however hidden under her ‘flippant’ disposition – demonstrated in her introductory story arc by her heroic self-sacrifice to save the city, sealing herself and the villainous Judge Death within a protective encasement Mega-City One’s ‘miracle’ plastic boing.

Of course, both she and Judge Death were far too interesting and popular characters to remain wrapped in plastic…

 

RATING: 5 STARS*****
S-TIER (GOD-TIER)

 

 

 

 

S-TIER (GODDESS TIER)

(1) PSI-JUDGE CASSANDRA ANDERSON

 

A-TIER (TOP TIER)

(2) JUDGE BARBARA HERSHEY

 

B-TIER (HIGH TIER)

(3) LIANA

(4) JUDGE PERRIER

(5) JUDGE DEKKER

(6) VIENNA DREDD

(7) WU WANG

(8) PSI-JUDGE KIT AGEE

(9) PSI-JUDGE KARYN

 

X-TIER (WILD TIER)

(10) TIGER HUNTER NEE MARLOWE – BABES IN ARMS

 

 

 

 

 

Mega City Law – Judge Dredd Case Files 18

 

JUDGE DREDD CASE FILES 18:

Progs 804-829 / Megazine 2.12-2.26

(1992-1993 / Mega-City One 2114-2115)

 

 Case Files 18 continues the Dark Age of Dredd but without any epic stories like Judgement Day in Case Files 17.

 

On the bright side, that should make it quicker to get through, but there are some highlights despite the absence of an epic.

 

Mechanismo introduced a longer story arc which had its debut in the Megazine and continued in the episodes in subsequent volumes. It also provides the cover image for the Case Files 18 volume but doesn’t really grab me. More like Meh-chanismo, amirite?

 

It seemed too drawn out over too little, particularly from the perspective of current episodes where robot Judges are routine in MC-1, so it’s hard to see what all fuss was about for Justice Department attempting to introduce them here.

 

We see a return of Irish Judge-Sergeant Joyce as it’s his turn to visit MC-1 (as opposed to Dredd visiting Murphyville in the Emerald Isle storyline in Case Files 15). It’s an entertaining heist-type story – or rather post-heist shenanigans, as Joyce is there to retrieve some Irish perps seeking sanctuary with their gangster brother in the Big Meg. Sadly, after having boosted Joyce into a cooler character in Judgement Day, Garth Ennis brings his own creation back down to being the butt of the joke here.

 

We also see a return of the recurring epic storyline of PJ Maybe, as he resurfaces in PJ & The Mock Choc Factory. Yes – PJ does Willy Wonka, and as, ah, homicidally as you’d expect. Well, more so than the original Willy Wonka.

 

Otherwise there’s some entertaining or interesting episodes. Kinda Dead Men fleshes out – heh – the aftermath of Judgement Day. A, B or C Warrior is my favorite single episode in Case Files 18, with the usual absurdist black comedy I like and Dredd as deadpan snarker.

 

 

JUDGE DREDD CASE FILES 18:

INNOCENTS ABROAD (progs 804-807)

 

“Go to Mega-City One…bring back them O’Dilligan brother hallions”

 

That pretty much sums up the post-heist shenanigans of Innocents Abroad. That and “a couple of Emerald Isle scumbags are on the run in the Big Meg”.

 

Essentially the reverse of the Emerald Isle arc, except now it’s Judge Dredd escorting Irish Judge Joyce around Mega-City One to retrieve two Irish perps – the Sons of Erin they ain’t.

 

At least Case File 18 starts with a bang – my favorite longer arc (4 episodes) in this volume, although the competition is not particularly stiff for that accolade here. It’s a good romp – a bit of a Lock, Stock & Two Smoking Barrels vibe to it before that film’s time – essentially involving three Emerald Isle elements on collision course.

 

The first of those elements is Judge Joyce, assigned the mission because of his previous involvement with Dredd back in the Emerald Isle arc in Case Files 15. Sadly, Joyce is not having the luck of the Irish – the running gag of this arc with Joyce as butt of the joke, and after all that work writer Garth Ennis put into boosting up Joyce, his own creation hailing from his homeland, into something more than a joke character in Judgement Day…only to return to Joyce as the punchline of his own Irish joke here.

 

Anyway, as one can see from the panels here, Joyce’s bike breaks down in the Black Atlantic tunnel, which sees him literally hitch a lift to Mega-City One, arriving three hours late for Dredd waiting for him at Customs.

 

 

Meanwhile, it doesn’t get much more Irish than O’Dilligan’s Nightclub – used by Mickah O’Dilligan as cover for his “shady little racket”. Also – add McSod’s Syndrome to the list of diseases you do NOT want to get in MC-1.

 

And McSod’s Syndrome is what Mickah O’Dilligan, second of the three Emerald Isle elements on collision course in this arc, is looking right down the barrel at in the test results from his doctor “Davy”.

 

“It’s non-contagious, but it accelerates and mutates your cell growth to a drastic degree and your body undergoes certain…er…changes”.

 

I love Mickah’s incredulous response at seeing those “changes” in some sort of medical text – where the subject’s torso is transformed into a monstrous lump partly swallowing up their awkwardly protruding limbs and head:

 

“Changes? You’re telling me!”

 

As, ah, Doctor Davy tells him though, there is a cure – and one that completely nullifies the virus. The only problem is it’s gold – not easy to come by in MC-1, and worse he only has a few hours to get it before his disease manifests itself.

 

On the bright side, Mickah does at least outlive his doctor – “Davey, this is terrible bad news…so I’m shootin’ the messenger” – but as for that gold, Mickah has the luck of the Irish. Enter the third of our three elements from Emerald Isle…

 

 

“Did…did you say gold?”

 

The luck of the Irish as Paddy and Francie O’Dilligan just happened to rob a bank of the gold their brother Mickah needs right now. And I mean right now – as in the next few hours.

 

Yes – it’s the third element from Emerald Isle on collision course in this arc, Mickah’s prodigal brothers on the lam from Emerald Isle in the Big Meg.

 

Mind you, Mickah is initially not pleased to see them, having just learnt that McSod’s Syndrome is about to turn him into “a lump of boke” – yes, I looked it up and apparently boke is a Scottish word for vomit – and now his prodigal brothers turn up out seeking sanctuary. It doesn’t help that they used to beat him up “when we were wee”.

 

What does help (after a brief segue to Judge Joyce getting the hang of a Mega-City One Lawmaster – or rather not getting it) is when they tell Mickah they didn’t just rob the bank, but they robbed of it of gold, just what the late doctor Davy ordered as cure for Mickah’s McSod Syndrome. And just in time too as Mickah only has a few hours before onset. Well that’s convenient – and conveniently timed. It really is the luck of the Irish for the O’Dilligans but it’s all downhill from here…

 

Yo Ennis! Why are you doing your boy Joyce dirty like this, turning him into the recurring butt of the joke here after boosting him in Judgement Day?

Ennis makes him a complete horn-dog here, including the obligatory cracking on to Hershey that every foreign Judge seems to do. Looking at you, Sov Judge Brylkreem.

Mind you, it only makes Joyce more legendary to me, particularly as he proves to be quite the ladies’ man. Not so much for Hershey of course – “are you for real?” – but certainly in the MC-1 club scene at O’Dilligans. It’s the accent, you see – “Where’d you get an accent like that, handsome?”

Dredd and Joyce are at O’Dilligans to hunt down the O’Dilligan brothers on the run from Emerald Isle, but that’s where the club owner Mickah steps in and hides them – not for any brotherly love, but for their promises of the gold they robbed from the bank and Mickah so desperately needs to cure his McSod’s Syndrome.

It doesn’t take a lie detector for both Dredd and Joyce to see that Mickah is lying to them about not seeing his brothers – not that Dredd uses one anyway but instead is waiting to catch all three brothers, Mickah included for the criminal racket he runs from the club.

That’s when Dredd spies a trivial infringement of the law – drinking from cans rather than plastene cups – and goes to town on a group of rowdy male patrons, while Joyce gets up to his shenanigans with the ladies. Sadly, Joyce is interrupted when Dredd shots one of the patrons for pulling a gun, blasting his headless body on to the table Joyce is sharing with the ladies.

Dredd’s almost as hard on Joyce as he is on the patrons when Joyce apologizes “Ah! Sorry, mate — just meetin’ folk, y’know?” – “Around here we call it dereliction of duty, Joyce. Lucky for you, you’re not on the force.”

Sheesh – lighten up, Dredd! Around here, we call that c*ckblocking!

Anyway, that sees Dredd and Joyce return to the Justice Department sector house, which is where Joyce cracks on to Hershey and Dredd plans his sting for the O’Dilligan brothers – just as they are going to pick up the gold…

 

 

One does not simply wade through Innocents Abroad without special mention for the Oxypool. I love these snippets of 22nd century life in MC-1 – a swimming center with water so oxygenated that human lungs still work in it.

Apart from yet another future fad in Judge Dredd, it’s also where the O’Dilligan brothers hid their gold from their bank robbery – although how they smuggled the gold through the notoriously draconian Justice Department Customs into Mega-City One, let alone into the Oxypool, is not answered. Although I can’t help but agree with their answer to Mickah’s question as to why – “Why not?”. The Oxypool is cool.

And here is where it all goes down for our boys from Emerald Isle – Dredd executes his sting to snare all the O’Dilligans, while Mickah O’Dilligan shoots open the locker where they stashed the gold but for which they had forgotten the combination. “Let’s try number forty-five , shall we?”

Mickah then pulls a fast one on his brothers to shaft them of their share of the gold, even though they’d already agreed to give him 80% for helping them escape. “What’s all this we business?”

Really, Mickah? Apart from shafting your brothers, you’ve already talked them down into giving almost all the gold anyway and you don’t have time for fight over the rest as your McSod’s is about to pop…

 

 

“It’s the Law, creep!”

I just can’t resist a good panel featuring Dredd using a variant of his catchphrase, featured here as he brings the sting on the O’Dilligans to its conclusion.

Paddy and Francie take the opportunity presented by the Judges descending on the Oxypool to get away from their brother Mickah with a good kick in the groin (from Paddy) – “pick the bones outta that one, Mickah!” – prompting Mickah’s McSod’s Syndrome to explode into full grotesque deforming bloom. What did I tell you Mickah about trying to screw over your brothers? You knew you only had a few hours and you wasted time with your shenanigans. Also…after shooting your doctor, did you actually know how to use the gold to cure your McSods? I mean, presumably you can’t just rub the ingots on you or ingest them in that form. Really, Mickah may mock his brothers for their stupidity but he didn’t seem to go about any of this the smart way. It’s like they’re all one big Irish joke…

 

 

“If they won’t leave quietly, they leave in a bag! Blow ’em away!” – Judges Dredd and Joyce finally corner the O’Dilligan brothers and their gang.

And it’s time for Innocents Abroad to wrap everything up in this fourth episode. Let’s just say it doesn’t end well, at least for everyone from the Emerald Isle, although Judge Joyce gets to go back home, if somewhat worse for wear.

Mickah O’Dilligan comes out the worst. Already transformed into a monstrosity by McSod’s Syndrome running rampant in full stage – “Holy dear blessed mother of Grud” as Judge Joyce exclaims, the good Catholic lad that he is, or “Oh…my…drokking…Grud!” as a female poolgoer recoils at the sight of him – Dredd takes him out with an incendiary round. Mickah throws himself into the oxypool – but the fire “positively thrives in the highly oxygenated water”.

Oh – and as the three O’Dilligan brothers are caught between two Judge units (the second headed by Hershey), not to mention each other, they fumble the gold into the Oxypool. It was probably a little late for that cure for McSod’s by then – although we never see what happens to the gold after that. One might hope the Judges retrieve it to return to the Irish bank Francie and Paddy O’Dilligan robbed it from but the odds are just as good for those Mega-City One citizen swimmers in the pool to have swiped it.

Speaking of Francie and Paddy O’Dilligan, Judge Joyce is hot on their tail as they flee the Oxypool, less one brother and all their gold – but they still have some fighting Irish spirit left as they jump him on his Lawmaster on loan from Mega-City One Justice Department. Joyce is very much a beginner on a Lawmaster and quickly loses control of it.

That sees the Tek Judges “still scraping bits of the O’Dilligans off the sked” – and while Joyce comes out of this whole Emerald Isle fiasco best, he’s still going home in plaster casts and a bad mood towards MC-1.

“As far as I’m concerned, you can stick your mega-city up your – ” and fortunately the last boarding call of the flight to Murphyville cuts him off.

“So much for friendly international relations” Dredd muses as they watch the flight depart from their Lawmasters – something of a recurring gag whenever Dredd is sent on a mission to or involved with another mega-city, which strangely enough often includes diplomatic missions given that Dredd is perhaps the last person Justice Department should choose for skill in diplomacy.

Hershey observes the obvious – “Yeah. Old Joyce didn’t exactly have the luck of the Irish”. To which Dredd characteristically replies – “Tough”. See what I mean about that diplomacy?

 

 

JUDGE DREDD CASE FILES 18:

THE KINDA DEAD MEN (prog 816)

The Magic Mellow Out (progs 808-809)

Raider (prog 810-814)

Christmas with Attitude (prog 815)

 

Surprisingly, the only episode to directly deal with the immediate aftermath of Judgement Day’s global zombie apocalypse.  Also Happy New Year 2115 -” and so, the Meg begins a year in which the dearly departed may not have actually departed…and the workers at resyk find themselves issued with pump-action shotguns”.

In this case, we see Sabbat’s head still on the lodestone where Dredd stuck it – fortuitously “not much left of his mind” at this point – but “energies will inevitably leak from the stone and cause…um…unusual phenomena on a planetary scale” – “though this should only occur infrequently”.

This begs a few questions. Well, a few more than the question posed by the obvious reference for the MC-1 Justice Department’s Chief Tek’s name, Oppenheimer.

Although that prompts one of the questions – given Oppenheimer’s role in the Manhattan Project, one wonders why there isn’t something similar here? That is, why isn’t Mega-City One trying to harness – or weaponize – this mystical energy “on a planetary scale”?  Of course, that might be what Oppenheimer’s preliminary report to Chief Judge McGruder is about here.

Also in fairness McGruder and Mega-City One are probably wary of screwing with something that caused the global zombie apocalypse that almost overwhelmed them and everyone else. Although it does beg another question of why the other mega-cities seem content to sit back and don’t want in on this, if not to monitor Mega-City One studying the stone then at least as some joint international (or rather inter-city) project to monitor the stone itself and its potentially dangerous energy, including the leaks that occur in this episode. Particularly as the lodestone is in the middle of the Radlands of Ji, essentially the Asian mystical badlands equivalent of the Cursed Earth beyond any mega-city – a neutral no-man’s land or no-city’s land.

One would have thought at least Hondo City – the nearest mega-city and the one most intimately involved in Judgement Day – would have been involved in a joint project with Mega-City One, if not also East-Meg-Two or Sino-City Two, the other major powers both wary of Mega-City One and also close to the Radlands of Ji. (There’s also teasing references to other minor cities in proximity – Kathmandu, Lhasa, Samarkand – and I think there may be some Mongolian polity).

Oppenheimer introduces his report by noting that “Sabbat is still secure”, which begs the question of why they just leave his head on the lodestone. Surely he’d be more secure elsewhere – or even better off dead without the mystical energy of the lodestone keeping his head alive – particularly as who’s to say his apparent mindlessness isn’t just some magical dormancy or trance on his part, waiting his opportunity to strike again? I mean his head shouldn’t be alive anyway but it is – I’d say you couldn’t be too careful with a galactic time-travelling necromancer turned demi-lich. It at least begs the question of how and why he is apparently mindless after what at most is a few months when he survived by magic without needing his body for years. Or at least why they don’t have some more security measures, such as a remote-activated bomb in his head like they do with the Suicide Squad.

For that matter, it begs the question of why Mega-City One hasn’t tried to flip the center of earth’s mystical power back from the lodestone to Mega-City One itself – which is where it was as few years back and where they could either study or secure it at more convenience to them. Remember that was the whole point of that Warlord storyline back in Case Files 9 (set about seven or so years previously), with the Warlord coming to Mega-City One for that reason – the center of earth’s mystical energy was in Mega-CIty One. Chief Judge McGruder at least should remember – it was why she resigned for the Long Walk in her first term of office.

Anyway, you guessed it – at least one of the effects of those energies leaking from the stone is to reanimate the dead, albeit on a more limited basis. You’d think that might have something to do with the necromancer’s head still on the stone so all the more reason to remove it. Perhaps they did, as I don’t recall it or these energy leaks in subsequent episodes.

So the storyline involves a citizen, who alternates between retaining something of his former consciousness and being a flesh-hungry mindless zombie, both as a result of those energy leaks as he should be neither, having had a fatal heart attack about two weeks back. He attends a New Year’s Eve party but fortunately Dredd is present to stop him chowing down on the guests – although Dredd is sadly too late to have stopped him chowing down on his wife and pet dog before going to the party.

Dredd solves the problem in his usual manner – with a bullet through the walking dead man’s brain, making him a fully inert dead man for resyk, hence the episode’s closing narration.

As for the episodes I skipped over:

  • The Magic Mellow Out (progs 808-809) – apparently a parody of a famous 1960s British children’s TV show The Magic Roundabout, Dredd be tripping when he has to secure the titular amusement park after its guests became violently deranged from a leak of hallucinogenic gas in much higher quantities than authorized. Eric Thompson, the creator and narrator of the TV series, is name-dropped for the block near the amusement park
  • Raider (progs 810-814) is a five-episode story arc featuring the titular ex-Judge (it’s his surname) and former Academy of Law classmate with Dredd (or more precisely the Dredds, Rico and Joe). Ex-Judge that is, as he left the force for a woman (and also as Dredd reminisces, he was “a bit of a dreamer”). Sadly, she died in his arms in the Apocalypse War. However, knowing his weakness, Dredd reintroduces undercover Judge Lola Palmtree to ensnare him. He proves a little too wary for that but by this time has become caught up in vigilante justice of his own against one of Mega-City One’s ganglords, a little like that Cadet turned rogue in The Executioner and ending in the same way, a lost gunfight with Dredd – although here Raider had previously equalled Dredd as a fellow cadet at the firing range but is outdrawn by Dredd in this gunfight. As Raider sadly says, probably expecting to be bested by Dredd with the latter’s forty years as a street Judge, “what else have I got?”
  • Christmas with Attitude (prog 815) replays Charles Dicken’s A Christmas Carol, but here the attempts of Eb Skrooj at redemption after a supernatural vision sees his goose cooked instead – or more precisely him cooked as the Christmas goose by the McKratchit family.

 

 

 

JUDGE DREDD CASE FILES 18:

SNOWSTORM (prog 819)

The Craftsman (prog 817)

Ex-Men (prog 818)

 

“Sweetex! Those spugging drokkers cut this with sweetex!”

Yeah – that’s my reaction to artificial sweeteners as well.

It’s more of a big deal in the Meg as sugar is, well, a big deal – a big criminal deal as analogy for cocaine.

I have a soft spot for these sugar as cocaine stories in Judge Dredd, although it begs the question of what happened to actual cocaine (or any other contemporary illicit drug).  Sugar even shares one of the same nicknames as cocaine – snow, hence the titular snowstorm for a big shipment in “a city desperate for the sweet taste of a snowstorm”, with the suppliers known as snowman or snowmen. Consistent with the cocaine analogy, we get a reference to the Andean Conurb as the ultimate source of the snowstorm here. There’s been a reference to the Andean Conurb before – at least as the home city of Hector and Dave, the Flying Gonzo brothers in Supersurf 10 back in the Oz epic – but here we see it tied more closely into the illicit sugar trade. We’ll see a much closer and unfortunately stereotyped look at the Andean Conurb before the Dark Age of Dredd is over in The Sugar Beat – let’s just say Grud knows how it survived Judgement Day when other mega-cities did not.

Anyway, the story writes itself. Up and coming snowman Vinnie Touretto does a deal, tasting the product, interestingly in porridge, an “old trick” as the “only way to be sure” – “that’s primo drokkin’ cane, alright”. Unfortunately, his suppliers also did the old trick of giving him a good bag among the rest of their cut product – but Touretto took another old trick as precaution of putting a tracer in their cash payment. So he prepares to hunt them down but Judge Dredd gets him first and uses the tracer to get the Andeans too – but “there’s still a hell of a lot of snow to be shovelled off the streets”.

As for the stories I skipped over

  • The Craftsman (prog 817) is a somewhat ho-hum episode about yet another serial killer in Mega-City One. Seriously, I think the Meg has a disproportionate number of these serial killers popping up among its citizens, possibly just as a hobby from the sheer boredom and brutality of their everyday life. Although in this case the killer – Nigel Bland – does have some sort of gainful career or hobby as a “vidder”, host of “Hey – Let’s Make Things” for plasteen carving, which I can’t help but feel was some sort of British TV reference at the time, same for the name reference of Steve Atkinson for the block where Bland resides.
  • Ex-Men (prog 818) features not so much a pun on X-men but are essentially hitmen as suicide bombers, usually conscripted from citizens driven to desperation with nothing to lose (as here from terminal illness and a need to provide financially for their families). We saw exploding hitmen before in the Emerald Isle epic, but there it was to stop them being captured rather than the actual means of assassination as here.

 

 

JUDGE DREDD CASE FILES 18:

PJ & THE MOCK-CHOC FACTORY (progs 820-822)

 

PJ Maybe does Willy Wonka! Or rather – PJ Maybe kills Willy Wonka. And once again runs out of luck with Judge Dredd catching up with him – and punching him in the face now that he’s turned 18.

 

Yes – everyone’s favorite juvenile genius serial killer is back in this three-episode arc. One of Dredd’s most enduring and successful antagonists – particularly in terms of going undetected by Dredd or giving him the slip – PJ Maybe owes much of that success to his genius, even if that genius tends to be a three-trick pony of robotics, face-changing machines, and the hypnotic drugs SLD 88 or 89. But as engaging as he is as a character, you have to admit that he owes a lot of his success to being one lucky SOB. (Metaphorically that is, his parents were very nice people, totally oblivious to his evil nature – and it was sad to see them go in Necropolis, even the psychopathic Maybe felt their loss).

 

Even with his luck, PJ’s problem is like that of a gambling addict – he just doesn’t know when to walk away in a winning streak but instead keeps coming back to the table expecting to keep winning against the house. And in Mega-City One, the house is Justice Department – with Dredd as its chief enforcer.

 

PJ Maybe’s luck ran out with Dredd before when he killed one person too many – rival of his parent’s billion-dollar business (that they unknowingly inherited from him killing his mother’s family members), Alger Hoss, ironically by accident rather than design as he was attempting to frame Hoss for criminal business dealings using a robot double. Dredd caught up with him – having failed to detect him due to his youth and his playing dumb – and detained him in a psych-cube.

 

PJ bounced back with another lucky streak during Necropolis – managing to escape the psych detention facility as Justice Department collapsed into chaos and the Judges were controlled by the Sisters of Death. Just when that luck seemed to run out with his parents killing themselves from their despair of the Dark Judges, he had even more luck when their billionaire family friends, the Urchinsons, took him in. Naturally, PJ killed Junior Urchinson and Mrs Urchinson (the latter with some more luck given her suspicions of him) before assuming Junior’s identity courtesy of a face-change machine and Junior’s father being increasingly unhinged by grief. So PJ once again found himself the heir of a billion dollar company and fortune, having swapped out that of his parents for the Urchinsons – even managing to go undetected by Dredd.

 

However, that luck is again about to run out in this arc, with Dredd once again catching up to Maybe – Maybe having drawn the attention of Justice Department because he couldn’t stop killing people, ironically even as his opening narration states his first rule of killing as “don’t get careless”. In fairness, while he clarifies this rule to involve not “killing any more than I needed to”, he then goes on to say that he was “needing to quite a bit recently” – and for the most petty or trivial reasons, not that he expresses it with quite that insight.

 

For that matter, it’s not even clear why he bought the Wonker candy corp, involving as it did killing MC-1’s version of Willy Wonka, transparently named Willy Wonker. It’s not like he needed to, having inherited 60 billion after finally disposing of his new “adoptive” father to assume control of Urchinson Inc. Yes – he does seem to use the mock-choc factory to dispose of bodies (mixing them into the mock-choc – eww!) but surely he had other means at his disposal. It does make for the black comedy gold in the opening of the Wonker company exec Brad Gleem discovering a human nose in a candy bar, but it’s not like that plays a part in Maybe coming undone as Urchinson, except for now having to kill and dispose of Brad as well. Justice Department was already on his trail and sent Dredd after him for the preceding four suspicious deaths or disappearances surrounding him in a short timeframe.

 

Once again it’s all downhill for Maybe from there as Dredd joins the dots, despite the brief illusion of escape on a flight to, you guessed it, the conveniently corrupt Banana City where Maybe had squirrelled away 20 billion of his fortune in an account. Man – they’ll take in anyone if there’s enough money involved.

 

And having turned 18 on that very flight, Dredd is finally able to punch Maybe in the face – a curious line that Justice Department doesn’t cross despite its routine brutality against Mega-City One’s adult citizens that seems to be something of their only right (and rite of passage) dealing with Judges. And I have to admit that as much as I like PJ as a character – it was as satisfying to see as a reader as it was for Dredd.

 

 

JUDGE DREDD CASE FILES 18:

PJ & THE MOCK CHOC FACTORY (prog 820)

 

“It’s not like I was killing anymore than I needed to…it’s just that I was needing to quite a bit recently”.

 

That’s our PJ, with a rather elastic definition of need when it comes to killing people.

 

Indeed, it’s quite obvious that by needing or needed he means for the most petty and trivial reasons – something that would increasingly come into play as his ongoing storyline unfolds over the next quarter of a century or so. That’s obvious from his opening narration and the first person he refers to killing, his girlfriend Lili – I suppose that would be ex-girlfriend now – because she laughed at a pimple he had. Hmm – I was wondering why he never looked up Liana, his first girlfriend and still a heartthrob for me (as drawn by Liam Sharp), but now I’m glad he didn’t (assuming of course that she survived epic crises like Necropolis or Judgement Day, let alone the everyday brutality of life in MC-1).

 

I mean at least he started out targeting people who were unsympathetic, albeit of course not deserving their fate at his hands – people like his mother’s family who bullied his parents or himself, with the obvious exception of his two innocent neighbors he used as a test run or the innocent bystanders killed by his uncle’s crash that he engineered.

 

That sets up that black comedy of the opening reveal of the Wonker company exec Brad Gleem discovering a human nose in a candy bar while guiding a juvenile tour through the factory. Well, technically he doesn’t discover it – one of juveniles on the tour points it out to him but he’s quick on the draw to snatch it up to pass off as nothing in front of the juveniles. Compounding the black comedy, the juveniles become suspicious that he then doesn’t eat it, if Mock-Chox are indeed the “scrummiest mock-chox around” as he said in his tour guide spiel.

 

So you can guess where that goes – he has to eat the chocolate (including the nose) in front of them to keep up the masquerade that there was nothing wrong.

 

As he then tells PJ – who is of course still impersonating Urchinson Jr and running the Wonker company after Urchinson Inc bought it – “It was horrible, Master Urchinson. I was sick for an hour.”

 

Unfortunately for Brad, that’s the least of his health problems now that his discovery and cover-up of the nose in the candy bar has unknowingly placed himself at the top of PJ’s kill list – and PJ doesn’t waste any time about it either.

 

But first, Brad continues to explain the gravity of the situation – “I mean, Wonker’s is the top candy-corp in the Meg – that’s why you bought us! We’re launching the new Krunchblok tomorrow! But if this gets out, we’re sunk!”

 

Yes – I’d tend to agree that finding human body parts in your mock-chox would be a critical marketing and public relations problem.

 

However, PJ calmly offers Brad one of the Krunchbloks. Firstly, I’m surprised that Brad is not too traumatized to eat any mock chox, at least right now. Secondly, I’m surprised that he hasn’t tasted a sample before.

 

Anyway, PJ continues to calmly clarify Brad’s statement that the nose had a pin in it. “That’ll be Mr Grizz.”

 

Brad asks incredulously – “You know him?” – to which PJ replies “I killed him”.

 

PJ then launches into what seems an extraordinary spontaneous confession – confessing that he also killed Wonker because Wonker wouldn’t sell the factory to him, he killed Grizz because Grizz criticized his spelling (which in fairness is atrocious – despite his genius, PJ can’t spell), he killed his father to inherit the Urchinson billions, and that Urchinson wasn’t really his father as he had killed Junior Urchinson before changing his face to look like Junior.

 

He even confesses that he is PJ Maybe – and it says something of Maybe’s notoriety that Brad recognizes the name. “Drokking Jeez – you were on the news years back! P.J, Maybe – the psycho juve!”

 

But then, PJ does like to brag. And as you might have guessed, Brad is already a dead man walking, killed by the Krunchblok – “The hemorrhaging agent I put in it should kick in any second”. Which begs the question – did PJ have a Krunchblok already laced with a lethal hemorrhaging agent in case of just such an emergency? And what would have happened if Brad had declined?

 

Meanwhile, Dredd is assigned by Justice Department to clear up the Judgement Day backlog – “Go to Urchinson Inc. offices. Interview CEO J. Urchinson – four missing persons among associates / employees”.

 

And with that, the bell begins to toll for PJ Maybe’s lucky streak impersonating Junior Urchinson – or as PJ himself puts it, when you’re a psycho killer in Mega-City One, you can’t afford to be careless…

 

 

JUDGE DREDD CASE FILES 18:

PJ & THE MOCK CHOC FACTORY (prog 821)

 

“Me and old Dreddy had met before, when he arrested me for murder. I was getting to like him. He’s a pussycat…Okay, he’s not”.

Of course, that was when PJ Maybe had his original name and face – not that of Junior Urchinson. And of course, PJ is not being a reliable narrator here – he corrects himself that Dredd is in fact not a “pussycat” but I’m skeptical that he was “getting to like” Dredd. What PJ seems to like is playing cat-and-mouse games with Dredd.

Which is what he does here – after warmly reminding Judge Dredd that they’d “met” (“You pulled my Dad and I out of a nuke shelter after the big Nec”), he brazenly lies that he knows nothing about the four people he’s killed in the last six months. His “father”, his girlfriend Lili Solo, Wonker the former “chok boss” (not only transparently named for Willy Wonka but appears like him too in the flashback and statue we see in this episode), and his accountant Sam Grizz. Not to mention his fifth victim Brad Gleem just before Dredd arrived but that’s too soon to be reported missing.

You might be wondering about the standard issue lie detector or “birdie” that Judges use and that we see Dredd use here, but as PJ narrates – “if you’re going to lie into a judge’s lie detector, you can either get used to a broken jaw…or you can jam that sucker”.

What I was wondering about was whatever happened to that voiceprint identification which Dredd used to identify a perp way back when they introduced face-change machines way back in the second ever Judge Dredd episode – “The New You” in prog 3. That sure would’ve come in handy right about now.

Anyway, even without voiceprint identification, Maybe’s only slightly ahead of the curve as Dredd is suspicious from his instinct that something didn’t feel right against Maybe as Urchinson checking out completely on the birdie. So he requests Control scan all Urchinson’s associates and business contacts. Sure enough, that scan turns up “the only thing unusual” – the Maybe family as associates of the Urchinson family, which immediately triggers Dredd, with a “Drokk!” thrown in for good measure. Dredd requests Control call units to arrest Junior Urchinson. “You think he’s picked up some tricks from Maybe?” queries Control. “I think he IS Maybe!” Dredd replies.

Meanwhile, PJ has gone to the mock-choc factory to dispose of Brad’s body as the special ingredient in the latest batch of mock chocolate, treating us to some entertaining musings about having some standards as a serial killer. “All these people who won’t be satisfied with a poisoning here, a decap there – these people with body-counts in the millions…Call-Me-Kenneth…Ol’ Cal…Mad Dog Kazan…Judge Death…and that lunatic Sabbat! I mean the whole world! Just look what happens to people like that! One at a time, that’s my motto.” Well, I suppose that is the definition of a serial killer.

Unfortunately for PJ, Dredd arrives at the factory to apprehend him.

 

 

JUDGE DREDD CASE FILES 18:

PJ & THE MOCK CHOC FACTORY (prog 822)

 

 

Judge Dredd punches PJ Maybe in the face mid-flight to Banana City and has a confession of his own – “Gotta admit it…I’ve been wanting to do that for years”.

 

We’ve all been wanting you to do that, Judge Dredd, we all have – and I say that as a fan of PJ Maybe.

 

Although it’s a little concerning that the only line stopping Mega-City One Judges from gratuitously punching citizens in the face (or beating them with a daystick) when arresting them is that the citizen is of the age of eighteen years or over.

 

That is of course how the episode ends – with PJ Maybe under arrest again, albeit unconscious after Dredd punched him in the face.

 

 

 

How it started was with PJ absconding from the mock choc factory, setting a giant version of his robot bug he routinely used to kill people – including his very first victims, and Wonker himself as we saw in flashback in the second episode – on to Dredd. “I thought Dredd might appreciate using the bug on him, for old time’s sake. I’d been gone for a good five minutes by then, of course. I was off to Banana City, with twenty bil’ waiting in a numbered account”.

 

Dredd did not, in fact, appreciate it, but the giant robot bug gives him a good fight before he finally manages to defeat it. That’s enough time for Maybe to escape the city – “Little creep hopped a flight to Banana City – Customs boys got the APB a little too late!”

 

Not on Dredd’s watch, however, as he directs Control – “Then get me a fast h-wagon”.

 

And sure enough, as Maybe is musing happy thoughts mid-flight – “South of the border, down mekzone way – that’s where I was off to. There was bound to be a place for a smart kid with plenty of creds – and a talent for murder.” – Dredd’s h-wagon intercepts the flight, pulling it over so to speak. “Don’t worry sir, that’s just a Justice Depart h-wagon locking on to our hull”.

 

Dredd arrests Maybe, who smugly reminds Dredd that he’s a minor – only to be corrected by Dredd that it’s past midnight and he’s just turned eighteen. And you know how the rest goes.

 

 

JUDGE DREDD CASE FILES 18:

A,B,C WARRIOR (prog 824)

Last Night Out (prog 823)

 

“Well, citizen Colon. Can you guess what happens now? Is it a) we let you go? b) you get off with a five cred fine? or c) we lock you in the psycho cubes and throw away the key?”

A, B, C Warrior is easily my favorite single episode in Case Files 18 – involving yet another citizen gone mad in Mega-City One, or ‘futsie’ as Mega-City slang goes for people suffering from ‘future shock’, who have snapped from the pressure of just living in “a society where every single thing has become monstrously overwhelming” (quoting Chris Sims summing up the essence of Judge Dredd’s world).

In this episode, the futsie is a citizen with an unfortunate surname, Mori Colon – and the even more unfortunate madness from losing his job as a pollster. Although given the nearly universal automation of jobs in Mega-City One, I’m not sure how he ever had it in the first place since it would seem a job where a robot would be first in line.

Anyway, he’s adapted his former occupation as pollster to his new preoccupation as serial killer. As one Judge observes – “It’s incredible, Dredd. He’s killed over fifty people – all so he can ask them these insane questions!”.

That is of course after Colon is apprehended by Dredd. We’re introduced to him at the opening of the episode “polling” a resident of Frank Hovis block, as usual named for a character in a British television comedy series contemporary to the date of publication rather than someone you’d expect it to be used for a block in a twenty-second century American megalopolis. And by “polling”, I mean asking some of those inane questions – as multiple choice between options a, b, and c, hence the title – before shooting his victim. As in what will the victim do when confronted with a gun – a) try to jump me b) beg for mercy or c) run for it. (The answer in this case was b).

The sound of gunfire is reported by neighbors – which is how Dredd is called to the scene. Unfortunately, he doesn’t have much to go on for clues at the scene, particularly given the insane polling that is Colon’s modus operandi, but fortunately for Dredd’s detection skills, Colon decides further “research” is needed at a local club (where Colon laments that he should have thought of “polling” a crowd further). Research such as whether on learning of their impending deaths they will a) pray to Grud…b) pray to Satan…c)start to cry. (In fairness, Colon is researching whether religious belief is declining in Mega-City One because of the reactions of previous victims).

So as nearest Judge, Dredd is called to the club when Colon’s latest disturbance is reported and catches Colon in mid-massacre. Colon even polls Dredd which ammunition he will use. (Dredd choses an option that wasn’t on the poll, shooting through a table – and Colon’s arm – with an armor-piercing round). Although I do have to give Colon mad props for his justification to Dredd – “but I’m conducting an opinion poll!”

And that leads to us to the line I quote at the outset Dredd’s deadpan snark with his facetious “poll” to Colon after he recovers from med-bay treatment. And like the readers, Colon easily guesses the answer – “at a wild guess…c?”. Which if you recall was throwing him in the psycho-cube without a key – “You got it. Take him away.”

And yes – I skipped an episode, Last Night Out in prog 823, although perhaps I shouldn’t have because it’s a pretty decent example of an episode played (mostly) straight for tragic drama rather than the more usual absurdist or black comedy. Judge Cahill – “a forty year man” (ie with forty years on the streets) has six hours to live from a rad cancer he got in turn from a zombie bite during Judgement Day. So naturally he uses it to bust perps and kick heads with Dredd (at Dredd’s suggestion). Cahill gets in one last heroic shot and then – “I’m gone, Joe”.

 

 

JUDGE DREDD CASE FILES 18:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JUDGE DREDD! (prog 829)

Blind Mate (prog 825)

Unwelcome Guests (prog 826)

Barfur (prog 827)

A Man Called Greener (prog 828)

 

That’s right – it’s the big man’s birthday as the comic premise for this episode, although it’s not quite as fun or funny as you might think. Still, I can’t let it go past without celebrating – happy birthday, Joe!

That comic premise is Dredd being his usual hardcore self despite it being his birthday – probably even more so. Then again, when you’re getting on like Dredd is, birthdays aren’t much reason to celebrate – and that was thirty-odd years ago when I write this in 2024 with Dredd still going. Thank Grud for rejuvenation treatment!

Curiously, Dredd’s birthday seems to be a matter of widespread public knowledge, perhaps even city-wide. The episode opens with kids from the elementary school at Andy Crane block – named for a British television presenter, aptly enough best known for presenting Children’s BBC shortly before the episode’s publication date – singing happy birthday to Dredd. Needless to say, he’s not impressed as they sang eight points above the legal limit. Yes – Dredd pulled a sound meter on them.

He’s even less impressed with some tap-tax bandits – citizens who essentially pull a Robin Hood as resistance against paying for water. They too have heard of his birthday, and except for one foolhardy tap-tax bandit who gets an incendiary round for his trouble, they don’t want “to mess with the big man on his birthday”.

Then it’s off to the Grand Hall of Justice where Chief Judge McGruder has called him – for a surprise birthday party. It gets a “what the drokk” from Dredd – before the episode’s last gruff punchline with Dredd telling the Judges to give the gifts to charity. Although I am intrigued what anyone – let alone other Judges – would actually buy Dredd for a gift. Something suitably judicial, I hope.

I skipped some more middling episodes:

  • Blind Mate (prog 825) features a game show, which from its imported dotty Brit-Cit host I am presuming is based on a similar contemporary game show Blind Date but could not be bothered to look it up. Anyway, a perp – a member of the Chipperdull Gang of contract killers modelled on the Chippendale male strippers, down to their shirtless appearance which would seem a little conspicuous for contract killers – on the run from Dredd ends up in the studio as a contestant. The host is so impressed with Dredd after his shootout with the killer that she invites him on as a guest – and is of course arrested for improper suggestion
  • Unwelcome Guests (prog 826) features the SJS, the House Slytherin of Justice Department, up to their usual tricks – RPA or random physical abuse assessment – which does not go down to well with a jumpy street Judge with post-traumatic stress from a zombie tearing her shoulder off in Judgement Day. She shoots the two SJS judges – Dredd gets her a suspension for a year as opposed to a sentence on Titan and gives the SJS Judge a smackdown for his trouble.
  • Barfur (prog 827) features the titular alien bear-kangaroo or grizzly broo, who gets to snack down on some animal rights activists. Dredd is called to the disturbance – one animal rights activist survives and gets twenty years in the cubes
  • A Man Called Greener (prog 828). Yes – Mega-City One has underground spitting or gobbing contests. Yes – they’re as disgusting as they sound. Also dangerous, resulting in a traffic pile-up – which is where Dredd comes in and arrests them.

 

 

JUDGE DREDD CASE FILES 18:

MECHANISMO (Megazine 2.12 – 2.17 & 2.22 -2.26)

A Christmas Carol (Megazine 2.18)

Warhog (Megazine 2.19)

Resyk Man (Megazine 2.20)

Deathmask (Megazine 2.21)

 

“Trial by machine is here!”

It’s Judge Dredd vs Robo-cop! Or rather, since Dredd essentially is Robo-cop (as one of its influences), Judge Dredd vs the ED-209 from Robo-cop.

That’s essentially the plot in a nutshell of the Mechanismo storyline. With the number of Judges stretched thin after Judgement Day, McGruder is advocating robot Judges. Unfortunately, Dredd is adamantly opposed – not being too progressive when it comes to robots either as Judges or citizens in Mega-City One. He changed his mind when a much better model of Robot Judge was permanently introduced thirty or so years later – although it does make one wonder what this fuss is about here – but Dredd is right at this time, as the Mechanismo models were flawed in a similar way to the ED-209.

While Dredd was one of the influences for Robo-cop, this storyline of course comes after the latter – and acknowledges it with Peter Weller, Robo-cop’s actor, named-dropped for a block.

The story arc is also the source of the image used for the Case Files cover – a rare image not of Dredd himself – and my standing rule for Case File reviews is that I have to feature it as my drinking game equivalent of taking a shot on the title drop in a film.

There’s actually two parts to the storyline – Mechanismo in Megazine 2.12-2.17 in which the Mechanismo robot Judges are introduced but malfunction (and Dredd has to shoot it out with one of them) and Mechanismo Returns in Megazine 2.22-2.26, which sees one of the units reactivate to cause more trouble. It’s the number five unit – a play on the Short Circuit films – and it’s still out there in the sewers as the storyline ends…for now.

Of the other Megazine episodes:

  • A Christmas Carol (Megazine 2.18) is the most interesting – a Christmas episode as an obvious play on the titular story by Charles Dickens, with Dredd getting a case of concussion and the Ghost of Christmas Past in the form of Rico
  • Warhog (Megazine 2.19) features the titular war-bike – not exactly sure which war – that uses illegal biomechanics powered by a dead man’s brain and of course he wants revenge against his ex-gang
  • Resyk Man (Megazine 2.20) features a man whose consciousness survives his apparent death and Resyk, as he too is used for biomechanics, fortuitously as he is able to save his widow and their child from a mutant gang
  • Deathmask (Megazine 2.21) – Dredd does The Dead Zone (heh – the Dredd Zone) as a citizen becomes psychic and helps Dredd track down the titular serial killer

Mega-City Law – Judge Dredd Case Files 2 (Epilogue)

 

JUDGE DREDD CASE FILES 2
Mega-City One 2100-2101
(1978-1979: progs 61-115)

Judge Dredd gets epic!

Judge Dredd: Complete Case Files Volume 2 essentially consists of the back-to-back Dredd epics, The Cursed Earth (progs 61-85) and The Day the Law Died (progs 86-108).

I consider these two epics to be Dredd’s first true epics – and more fundamentally, where the Judge Dredd comic came of age. This is classic Dredd.

Of course, the two epics had their precursors in the two longer story arcs (or mini-epics) of Volume 1 – The Cursed Earth in Luna-1 and The Day the Law Died in Robot Wars. Each of the epics (and their precursors) respectively set up the essential Judge Dredd epic plotlines – Dredd confronting some threat, usually existential, to Mega-City One (Robot Wars, The Day the Law Died), and Dredd venturing to some other, usually exotic, location (Luna-1, The Cursed Earth), or a combination of the two, Dredd venturing to some other, usually exotic, location TO confront some threat, usually existential, to Mega-City One (arguably The Cursed Earth, although it involved an existential threat to Mega-City Two, at least in the immediate sense).

Yes – there’s a few episodes at the end of Case Files 2 which serve as something of an epilogue to the epics, particularly Punks Rule as an epilogue to The Day the Law Died. It also effectively replays the very first episode with Dredd taking on the punk street gang that has arisen as a law unto themselves – with Dredd’s characteristic schtick of taking them on alone, to restore the authority of Justice Department that had lapsed in The Day the Law Died.

Otherwise, Case Files 2 is almost entirely the two epics – each of which deserve its own consideration in depth.

 

THE CURSED EARTH

 

THE DAY THE LAW DIED

 

 

JUDGE DREDD CASE FILES 2

PUNKS RULE (prog 110)

The Exo-Men (progs 111-112) / The DNA Man (progs 113-115)

 

“I’m a cheap punk!”

And here we are with those episodes at the conclusion of Case Files Volume 2 that are not part of either epic, although the first and best of these, Punks Rule, is effectively an epilogue to The Day the Law Died.

As the new Chief Judge Griffin explains in this episode, the war against Cal allowed street gangs to come back in force, with the worst of them – the Cosmic Punks, led by Gestapo Bob Harris – setting themselves up as ‘judges’ in Sector 41 and declaring it a no-go zone to the real judges. One judge proposes that they stamp it out by sending in a fifty man squad, but Dredd disagrees – “The street gangs have lost their fear of us. It’s time we gave it back to them…Let’s show them one judge is worth a hundred punks”. As I’ve said before, Dredd’s always doing this – going in as the ‘one judge’ to demonstrate the strength of the law against any number of potential antagonists. He did it in his very first episode and he’ll do it again – it’s kind of his shtick.

And so, Dredd heads into Sector 41 alone, with an automated garbage truck for prisoners. A nice symbolic touch – and sure enough, he fills it with the punks who are smart enough to surrender, gunning down those who prefer to take a shot at him. Ultimately, Dredd takes even Gestapo Bob prisoner – after making Bob declare himself a cheap punk.

It’s an episode with Brian Bolland art, always a delight to behold – and Bolland did the best Judge Dredd punks!

 

And yes – I skipped two storylines:

  • The Exo-Men (progs 111-112) featuring the titular gang that use demolition workers’ exo-skeleton powered suits for a bank robbery. However, the real fun in the story comes with two representatives of a citizen action group – the citizen’s committee for compassion to criminals (or CCCC) – who are monitoring Dredd as he pursues the exo-men. It was almost fun enough to feature in more detail, except that I think “Watchdogs” in Case Files 16 replays the same premise better.
  • The DNA Man (progs 113-115) replays Frankenstein but with the mad scientist character – literally named Frankenstein, Milton Frankenstein (with his first name perhaps a nod to Milton’s Paradise Lost featuring in the original book by Shelley) trying to recreate himself from one DNA molecule taken from his blood. It’s a little weird since the world of Judge Dredd has cloning – indeed, Dredd himself is a clone. Here, however, Frankenstein succeeds only in creating monstrous versions of himself – which he unleashes on Dredd as Dredd is on his trail for killing his lab assistant.