TOP 10 MYTHOLOGIES (HONORABLE MENTION)

 

I don’t have a religion – I have a mythology.

Indeed, I have a top ten mythologies – as well as my usual twenty special mentions.

But wait – there’s more! There’s these honorable mentions for entries beyond my top ten or special mentions, because mythology is that prolific. Unlike my top ten or special mentions, they aren’t ranked or arranged in any particular order, except I rank those entries more conventionally considered to be formal mythologies higher than my weirder or wilder entries. Also unlike my top ten or twenty special mentions, I have no numerical limit on entries for honorable mention, so I’ll include an index of entries at the outset.

Speaking of indices – just to remind you, these are my Top 10 Mythologies.

 

S-TIER (GOD-TIER – OR IS THAT GODDESS TIER?)

(1) BIBLICAL

(2) CLASSICAL

 

A-TIER (TOP TIER)

(3) NORSE

(4) CELTIC – ARTHURIAN

(5) EGYPTIAN

(6) MIDDLE EASTERN – BABYLO-SUMERIAN

(7) HINDU

(8) AZTEC

(9) NATIVE AMERICAN – LAKOTA

(10) AFRO-AMERICAN – VOODOO

 

And these are my special mentions:

 

S-TIER (GOD TIER)

 

(1) PAGANISM

(2) SHAMANISM

(3) ZEN

(4) TAROT

(5) MAGIC

(6) WITCHCRAFT

 

A-TIER (TOP TIER)

 

(7) FAIRIES

(8) DRAGONS

(9) GIANTS

(10) GHOSTS

(11) VAMPIRES

(12) LYCANTHROPES

(13) LEGENDARY CREATURES

(14) CRYPTIDS & CRYPTOZOOLOGY

(15) ATLANTIS

(16) BERMUDA TRIANGLE

(17) UFOS & UFOLOGY

(18) URBAN LEGENDS

(19) CONSPIRACY THEORIES

 

X-TIER (WILD TIER)

 

(20) TANTRA

 

My honorable mentions so far (as former entries – or topic within entries – in my special mentions).

 

DRUIDRY

DISCORDIANISM

TUNGUSKA EVENT

*

 

 

 

DRUIDRY

 

“A druid was a member of the high-ranking class in ancient Celtic culture”. And that’s pretty much as definitive as it gets.

While druids had a number of roles – “legal authorities, adjudicators, lorekeepers, medical professionals and political advisors” – the focus tends to be on their role as religious leaders. That is as priests, prophets, or most commonly, as quasi-shamanic figures, attuned to the animal or natural world with magic or moral philosophy.

Little is known about them, since they were secretive and didn’t write anything down, possibly because of religious prohibition. Most historical accounts were written by their adversaries, notably the Romans, who actively suppressed them.

The first detailed account was that of Julius Caesar in his Gallic Wars, who wrote about them as he conquered them and the rest of Gaul – most famously featuring them shoving human sacrifices into the Wicker Man, to be literally burnt in effigy.

Historians have queried the veracity of druidic human sacrifice in general and the Wicker Man in particular, usually in terms of Roman imperial propaganda against their conquered enemies – which disappoints me, as it depicts the druids at their most metal.

I mean, I came to druidry and classical depictions of it through The Wicker Man, with Lord Summerisle as my model of an evil druid.

However, this was moderated as I came to druidry through three other sources. The first originated when Caesar conquered Gaul…but not entirely, because one small village still held out against the invaders through their druid’s magic potion of superhuman strength.

I am of course talking about Asterix comics, featuring the druid Getafix as his name is usually translated into English versions. Of course, the Wicker Man was distinctively absent from its version of druidry, although that might explain the true fate of all those Roman legionaries behind the scenes…

The second source was also from comics – Slaine by Pat Mills for 2000 AD, in which human sacrifice in general and the Wicker Man in particular loomed large for its version of druidry. Not surprisingly, its druids were somewhat amoral at best, not too distinct from their evil counterparts.

The third source is perhaps the most popular – Dungeons and Dragons, influencing their depiction in other role playing games and popular culture as divine nature-themed magic users, complete with shapechanging (“wild shape”) and animal companions.

All of which are not unlike the modern reconstruction (or reconstructions) of druidry, often styled as neo-druidry in the same manner as neo-paganism or neo-shamanism, originating with Romantic pagan and Celtic revivals as early as the eighteenth century.

 

 

 

DISCORDIANISM

 

Life is the laughter of the gods!

Or the goddess in this case.

Discordianism is the combination of two strands within contemporary mythology (or religion) that appeal to me.

Firstly, the strand of neo-paganism – not so much a mythology of itself, but an eclectic combination, reconstruction or syncretism of earlier mythologies, particularly those of historical pagan or pre-Christian Europe. The most distinctive – and perhaps the most numerous – neo-pagan religion is Wicca, which reconstructs historical witchcraft as a pagan survival or resurgence, typically combining historical mythic female figures within one overarching or universal Goddess, often identified as the Triple Goddess or Great Goddess, either as a monotheistic figure on her own, or with a similar male figure, often identified as the Horned God, as her consort in a duotheistic couple. Or not, since neo-paganism in general and Wicca in particular are extremely eclectic and difficult to pin down.

Of course, Discordianism isn’t the most serious example of neo-paganism – to the extent that it is even accepted as such, something which is often disputed. Which brings me to the second strand – the strand of parody religion, or more broadly, religious comedy, humor and satire. Parody religion or religious comedy is perhaps distinctively modern with many different strands, some notably sourced from popular culture, but also arguably has long roots extending back at least to classical philosophy or literature, even within traditional religions. Some even ascend to distinctly postmodern religions – which appear to have a number of relatively serious followers who embrace the perceived absurdity of these religions as spiritually significant and it is hard to tell whether even these “serious” followers are not just taking part in an even bigger joke.

Sometimes I feel that the world would be a better place if all religions originated in comedy or was told in the form of jokes.

And so Discordianism appeals to me because of its complete playfulness and lack of seriousness in matters of belief, all with a neo-pagan tint. After all, if you’re going to have a universal goddess, metaphorical or otherwise, then who better than the playful goddess of chaos, invoking Eris from Greek mythology or her counterpart Discordia from Roman mythology? Essentially, Discordianism originated as a parody religion, and as far as I’m aware, one of the first parody religions – although is it a joke disguised as a religion, or a religion disguised as a joke? Only Eris knows!

 

 

 

 

TUNGUSKA EVENT

 

And then there’s the third of my holy trinity of so-called Earth mysteries – the Tunguska Event. Although I feel a little trepidation ranking the Tunguska Event with the Bermuda Triangle and Atlantis – because unlike those latter two, the Tunguska Event is more grounded, less earthly or mysterious, albeit without the same thematic depth as those entries (hence their retention as entries within my special mentions).

It’s also a less enduring phenomenon – an explosion in Siberia usually reckoned at 10-15 megatons on 30 June 1908. As to what caused the explosion – there’s the mystery, but again it’s usually reckoned to be a meteorite. The only catch is that an impact crater or meteorite has never been found, so the leading hypothesis is that it exploded as an air burst rather than from direct impact.

If so, it was a lucky day for St Petersberg at the same latitude, as a few hours difference might have made it the site rather than a remote and sparsely populated region of Siberia.

However, that doesn’t stop wilder hypotheses, ranging from the still relatively mundane such as a comet or exploding leak of subterranean natural gas, to the bizarre – “a deuterium-rich meteorite causing an all-natural thermonuclear explosion; a chunk of antimatter; a miniature black hole passing through the Earth; an alien spacecraft crashing or discharging some kind of superweapon; psychic experiments or magic rituals gone wrong”.

 

You can return to or find more top tens in my indexed page for top tens of mythology.