Top Tens – Film: Top 10 Horror Films (Special Mention) (New Entry) (17) Ready or Not

Film poster art (fair use)

 

 

(17) READY OR NOT (2019)

 

“In-laws.”

 

Horror comedy film starring Australian actress Samara Weaving as the film’s protagonist, it earns special mention with a sequel to come (as at 2025) in 2026.

Technically, I might have included this in my special mention entry for religious horror but that’s (mostly) just the backdrop for the horror in this film – being hunted to death by your in-laws.

I know the feeling.

On the night of her wedding, Weaving’s protagonist – perhaps ironically named Grace – is asked to participate in her newlywed husband’s eccentric and rich family tradition of playing a board game. Unfortunately for Grace, she draws the wrong card for Hide and Seek. Even then, she doesn’t quite realize the twist to what appears an innocent childhood game – Hide and Seek is euphemism for Hunt and Shoot. Shoot to kill that is, because the hider needs to be dead by dawn if the seekers are to win, as part of a deal with the devil for the family’s wealth.

 

RATING:

B-TIER (HIGH TIER)

Top Tens – Fantasy & SF: Top 10 Fantasy Books (Special Mention: Cult & Pulp) (13) Sean Stewart – Resurrection Man

Cover 1995 Ace Books paperback edition – the edition I own

 

 

(13) SEAN STEWART –

RESURRECTION MAN TRILOGY (1995-2000)

 

Stephen King meets Ibsen. Trust me.” – Neal Stephenson.

Contemporary fantasy or magical realism in which magic comes bubbling back into our world as a wild and uncontrollable elemental force, coalescing as beings from the force of Jungian collective unconscious.

And it is very much Jungian collective unconscious, pointed out in exposition by way of a stand-up comedy routine (a device of exposition I have not encountered elsewhere) – as opposed to Freudian, although I would like to have seen a fantasy based on the elemental forces of magic bubbling out of our Freudian unconscious.

Admittedly, I found the world-building more intriguing than the actual story in Resurrection Man, which doles out that world-building in fragments and hints – a world “profoundly altered by WWII and the increasingly monstrous magic it unleashed’, first as golems from the camps and then as minotaurs from the American ghettoes. A world in which China is superpower – not through economics as in our world, but through geomancy or feng shui.

That world formed the setting for two other books by Stewart with more intriguing stories, Night Watch and the World Fantasy Award winning Galveston. In the latter, the Texan city has been isolated and divided by the flood of magic, literally into a normal ‘non-magical’ half, scraping and scavenging its living from the increasingly derelict remnants of science or technology, and Carnival, an endless magical Mardis Gras celebration.

His novel Mockingbird had a similar theme, but on a family rather than world scale.

Sadly, after this creative flurry of novels in the nineties and noughties, Stewart moved from writing novels to writing interactive fiction or games.

RATING:
B-TIER (HIGH TIER)

Top Tens – Mythology: Top 10 Books (Special Mention) (New Entry) (10) James MacKillop – Myths & Legends of the Celts

Cover art of 2006 Penguin Books edition – the edition I own

 

 

(10) JAMES MACKILLOP –

MYTHS & LEGENDS OF THE CELTS (2006)

*

For mine is the grail quest –

round table & siege perilous

fisher king & waste land

bleeding lance & dolorous stroke

adventurous bed & questing beast

 

I find all Celtic mythology fascinating.

The Celtic mythology that survived most in literary form (mostly as recorded by Christian monks) was in Brittany or coastal France, in Britain and above all in Ireland with its various mythological cycles. The Tuatha de Danann or the gods of Ireland. The Ulster Cycle and its great hero Cu Chulainn. The Fenian Cycle as well as its great hero Fionn Mac Cumhaill (sometimes awesomely translated as Finn McCool) and his Fianna warrior band. And the Cycle of Kings of historical legend.

“Myths and Legends of the Celts is a fascinating and wide-ranging introduction to the mythology of the peoples who inhabited the northwestern fringes of Europe—from Britain and the Isle of Man to Gaul and Brittany.”

This book is essentially divided into three parts. The first part looks at the broader themes of Celtic mythology in general reflected in the chapter names – with chapters for the Celtic deities, the remnants of Celtic religion, sacred kingship (in Ireland), the female figures of Celtic mythology (goddesses, warrior queens and saints), calendar feasts, and otherworlds.

The second part looks at the Irish mythological cycles – the Ulster Cycle, the Fenian Cycle, and the Cycle of Kings.

The third part looks at Welsh and oral myths.

“And it explores in detail the rich variety of Celtic myths: from early legends of King Arthur to the stories of the Welsh Mabinogi, and from tales of heroes including Cúchulainn, Fionn mac Cumhaill, and the warrior queen Medb, to tales of shadowy otherworlds—the homes of spirits and fairies.”

 

RATING:

A-TIER (TOP TIER)

Top Tens – Fantasy & SF: Top 10 Fantasy Books (Cult & Pulp) (12) Stephen R. Donaldson – The Chronicles of Thomas Covenant

Cover art of the First Chronicles of Thomas Covenant – I think from the 1996 Harper Voyager paperback editions but certainly the editions I own

 

 

(12) STEPHEN DONALDSON –

THE CHRONICLES OF THOMAS COVENANT (1977-2013)

 

The Chronicles of Thomas Covenant might seem a lot like The Lord of the Rings and indeed it is to a point. It has a similar fantasy secondary world – the Land instead of Middle Earth – menaced by a similar Dark Lord, Lord Foul the Despiser, who if anything is even darker than Sauron, as his name indicates. It even has a Ringbearer in its titular protagonist, albeit that ring is a mundane object in our own world – Covenant’s white gold wedding ring – but the ultimate ring of power in the Land.

At a certain point, however, the reader becomes aware that the Chronicles of Thomas Covenant is a profound deconstruction of The Lord of the Rings. Typically, that point is a plot point soon into the first book of the first trilogy, Lord Foul’s Bane, where Covenant is overwhelmed by the sensory overload of the Land and commits a crime that has consequences through the first trilogy. If not that point, it is typically a point in the second book of that first trilogy, The Illearth War, where the leader of the military forces against Lord Foul fails despite his best efforts and must resort to a self-sacrificial Pyrrhic victory.

Or that point may be the overarching nature of its titular protagonist – where The Lord of the Rings had three Christ-like heroic figures (Frodo, Gandalf, and Aragon), Thomas Covenant is the Land’s literal leper-messiah. Worse, because of his leprosy in our world, he has spent a lifetime of managing the disease to the effect of rigorous mental discipline that he cannot believe in the false hope of any magical cure or else he will succumb to the disease – his survival depends on such things as his habitual VSE or visual surveillance of extremities. Hence, when he finds himself transported to a world in which there is a magical cure, it goes against a lifetime of literally life-saving mental discipline and so he cannot believe in that world, becoming Thomas Covenant the Unbeliever.

And yet after the deconstruction comes reconstruction, as the series ultimately returns to something like The Lord of the Rings after all – with the heroic resistance of the Land against Lord Foul and Covenant finding some balance between unbelief and doing the right thing, even in a dream, because as he himself says, Lord Foul laughs at lepers.

And between the deconstruction and the reconstruction falls the resonance – a resonance of phrase and fable that lodges in the psyche long after reading it and refuses to go away. Phrases such as Thomas Covenant the Unbeliever, Lord Foul the Despiser, and my personal favorite – the Ritual of Desecration, the original sin that almost destroyed the Land in the distant past.

 

RATING:

B-TIER (HIGH TIER)

Top Tens – Fantasy & SF: Top 10 Fantasy Books (Special Mention: Cult & Pulp) (11) James Blish – Black Easter / The Day After Judgment

Promotional art for the Amazon Kindle edition

 

 

(11) JAMES BLISH –

BLACK EASTER / THE DAY AFTER JUDGEMENT (1968 / 1970)

 

Black Easter essentially reads like a joke – an arms dealer, a black magician and a priest walk into a bar…

Well, not quite a bar but the arms dealer does a deal with the black magician to release all the demons from Hell on Earth for a single night. The reason – partly for the lulz but mostly to drum up business for arms. The priest comes in due to a pact between white magicians (from the Vatican!) and black magicians to monitor each other – incredibly, the priest does not attempt to interfere with the deal but is simply there to ensure the black magician sticks to the rules of the pact.

It’s a slow burn – dare I say it, something of a shaggy dog joke, or is that shaggy God joke? – a short story premise expanded to novel or novella and mostly focused on the details of the black magic involved, but like any good joke it’s all set up for the punchline.

And that punchline is (spoiler alert) that they have unleashed the apocalypse on the world, except that God is dead and there is no power to return the demons to Hell. (One wonders why the demons didn’t break out on their own before if that was the case.)

The sequel novel doesn’t quite have the same wham effect for its punchline. The characters from the first novel as well as everyone else in general deal with hell let loose on Earth in – where else? – California and Las Vegas.

The punchline arises from the apparent premise that God may not be so dead after all as something seems to be restraining the force of Hell. The punchline, delivered with Miltonian effect by the Devil himself, is that something turns out to be Satan, who now has to assume the role of God – something he now realizes he never really wanted and so is undone by his own Pyrrhic victory.

It might seem a fantasy duology based on one or two theological punchlines (depending on whether you like the second as much as the first) but it has continued to endure as an influence on my imagination and psyche.

 

RATING:

B-TIER (HIGH TIER)

Top Tens – Fantasy & SF: Top 10 Fantasy Books (Special Mention: Classic) (12) Arabian Nights

Cover leatherbound Arabian Nights edition published in 2011 by Canterbury Classics

 

 

(12) ARABIAN NIGHTS

 

Also known as One Thousand and One Nights, the Arabian Nights are essentially Middle Eastern fairy tales or folk tales compiled from Arabic. The Arabian part of Arabian Nights is a bit of a misnomer – as the stories originate from the Middle East, central Asia, South Asia, and North Africa (as well as some with origins back to Persian or even Mesopotamian stories). Heck – Aladdin is even ostensibly set in China!

And there’s another heck right there. The three most well known tales of the Arabian Nights – Aladdin, Ali Baba, and Sinbad – were not part of the original Arabian Nights but were added to it by European translators and I understand Sinbad even traces its influences back to Homer’s Odyssey.

What is part of all variations of the Arabian Nights is the framing device of Scheherazade, one of the most tongue-twisting names (and most mind-boggling to spell), at least for those from Anglophone nations, which is why I prefer the Persian variant of Shahrazad. You may know her as simply the most famous and significant female character of the Arabian Nights, indeed without whom they wouldn’t exist according to their own narrative – the plucky heroine and narrator in the frame story, who told all one thousand tales in the titular one thousand and one nights.

As the story goes, the monarch Shahryar discovered his first wife was unfaithful to him and resolved upon the monstrously misogynistic plan to marry a new virgin every day and behead her the following day to avoid betrayal or dishonour. Betrayal or dishonour by her to him, that is – I’m not too sure that executing your wife the next day is quite in the spirit of marriage and certainly had the bride gagging in her wedding vows for death to do them part.

Anyway, the vizier ran out of virgins of noble blood and so Shahrazad, the vizier’s own daughter, volunteered to be the next bride, against her father’s wishes. Fortunately, Shahrazad had a plan – which was to tell the monarch a story on that first night, but leaving it on a cliffhanger at dawn, so the monarch postponed her execution until the next day for her to finish that story – which she did the next night, but started an even more exciting story, leaving that one too on a cliffhanger. And so on for a thousand nights or about three years, until she finally ran out of stories but the monarch had genuinely fallen in love with her, decreeing her to be his wife for life rather than execution the next day – although it might be noted that she had borne him three sons as well in this time. And so they lived happily ever after.

Or not, because I have difficulty imagining that Shahrazad did not have post-traumatic stress disorder after that – or why the monarch Shahryar deserved to live happily ever after executing so many innocent women. Indeed, one woman each day for three years, or approximately 1,100 women – at least according to British adventurer Sir Richard Burton in his translation, which makes Shahrazad’s heroism a little less impressive, given she sat on her plan for that time. Also the similarity of her name with that of the monarch suggests it was an honorific, either named as such after she was married to him – or named for him by her father, the monarch’s vizier.

But I prefer to overlook these things, as what’s not to love about her? Beautiful, intelligent, heroic and she tells a good story – indeed, a thousand of them.

 

RATING:

A-TIER (TOP TIER)

Top Tens – Fantasy & SF: Top 10 Fantasy Books (Special Mention: Classic) (11) Aesop’s Fables

Cover of hardcover Aesop’s Fables Classic Edition illustrated by Charles Santore (New York Times bestselling illustrator) published by Applesauce Press in 2018. Aesop’s most famous fable character, the tortoise (from The Tortoise and the Hare) is front and center winning the race!

 

 

(11) AESOP’S FABLES

 

The most famous anthology of fables – notably beast fables – in European culture, attributed to Aesop, a Greek slave and later freedman, “living somewhere in Asia Minor in the sixth century BC”, if indeed he existed at all. There was a tendency for subsequent European fables to be attributed to him as well – or at least added to collections of his fables.

And the most famous of Aesop’s fables would have to be The Tortoise and the Hare – slow and steady wins the race, illustrating the moral of the story as characteristic of fables, usually but not always explicitly pointed out at the end. Indeed, TV Tropes has dubbed the use of the moral of the story an “aesop”.

Of course, there’s a lot more fables by (or attributed to) Aesop – more than enough for a top ten Aesop’s fables many times over.

 

RATING:

A-TIER (TOP TIER)

Top Tens – Fantasy & SF: Top 10 Fantasy Books (Special Mention: Cult & Pulp) (10) James Lovegrove – Pantheon

 

*

(10) JAMES LOVEGROVE –

PANTHEON (2009 – 2019)

 

“Watch closely, everyone. I’m going to show you how to kill a god”

That’s not from James Lovegrove’s Pantheon series – it’s from the film Princess Mononoke – but it captures much of the same spirit (heh).

The premise of his Pantheon series is straightforward – each is a standalone story with a human military or paramilitary protagonist reacting to or resisting one of the titular pantheons of gods (and goddesses) literally returning to the modern world to rule it. Note that standalone as each story features only one pantheon at a time – they don’t return in combination or all at once, although that would make an interesting premise of competing pantheons. Obviously the titular pantheon in the first book The Age of Ra is the Egyptian one – the series continues through The Age of Zeus, The Age of Odin, and so on.

The premise of these series particularly resonates with me because it reflects my own unwritten – and let’s face it, only partly baked – story ideas involving the same premise, both for single pantheons and multiple pantheons returning in combination. So kudos for Lovegrove for actually baking the cake and icing it – although I suppose there’s still room for competing pantheons.

It’s a similarly dark premise to David Brin’s Thor Meets Captain America (and even more so its sequel The Life Eaters) – hence why I also like those works as well. And it’s a somewhat parallel premise to that of a higher entry on this list.

 

RATING:

X-TIER (TOP TIER)

Top Tens – Film: Top 10 King Horror Films

 

 

“Here’s Johnny!” – the iconic scene from The Shining

 

King horror – Stephen King horror, that is, for the cinematic adaptations from one of the most iconic and prolific horror writers of our time. Images, lines and scenes from his work reverberate throughout popular culture, particularly driven by their cinematic or screen adaptations.

There’s something of a trope that goes around that his work makes for bad cinematic adaptations. This trope seems wrong to me – the more correct statement would be that the cinematic adaptations are mixed. A number of films from his work are good or well regarded – hence this special mention – “while many others are not”.

Of course much depends on the director but one rule of thumb I have is that the better movies are based on his shorter or tighter works. Like most screen adaptations of literary works, the longer the book, the messier the adaptation gets. Not too short though – short stories can have too little substance to them for a feature length film.

And for the worst Stephen King cinematic adaptation ever – The Lawnmower Man – they didn’t even use what little substance they had from the titular story for a feature film, choosing instead to go off on their own weird jaunt based on a single (misplaced) line. The film became notorious for King suing it to remove his name from it.

Anyway, here’s my King horror cinematic top ten on the spot.

 

1 – THE SHINING (1980)

 

“Here’s Johnny!”

Probably THE King horror film adaptation that everyone loves – ironically as King himself is not a fan given the different direction (heh) in which Stanley Kubrick took the film from the book. I like both.

 

2 – CARRIE (1976)

 

It’s not nice to make fun of Carrie…it’s not safe either.

That’s the tagline I recall for the film. With a strong cast including Sissy Spacek in the titular role and taut direction by Brian De Palma, the film is consistently ranked a high place among King adaptations – even more so because it was the adaptation that allowed King to become a full time writer.

 

3 – CUJO (1983)

 

Who’s a good boy? Well, he was until…

 

4 – CHRISTINE (1983)

 

Probably the most famous possessed car in popular culture.

Well hello again, Mr Carpenter – although King himself wasn’t a fan of the film.

 

5 – CHILDREN OF THE CORN (1984)

 

He Who Walks Behind The Rows.

The first film was a cracker, based on the short story by King. The sequels or franchise? Not so much.

 

6 – PET SEMATARY (1989)

 

“No fair”

A monkey’s paw of a movie – in that sometimes getting what you wish for is the worst thing you can get.

They came back wrong. Classic pulp horror but that line and scene gets me each time – because evil Gage is telling the truth. Everything about his death, resurrection and, ah, re-death wasn’t fair.

 

7 – MISERY (1990)

 

“I’m your number one fan!”

Arguably the best and tightest of King’s cinematic adaptations, due to the dynamite duo performance of Kathy Bates and James Caan – Bates got an Oscar for her performance, making the film the only King adaptation to win one.

 

8 – THE MIST (2007)

 

One of the biggest wham endings of any horror film – which Stephen King liked so much he preferred it to his own ending.

 

9 – IT (2017-2019)

 

Ah – Pennywise!

One of the best known of King’s cinematic adaptations, due to the visually iconic depiction of the titular antagonist and all its creepy extensions of itself. I might rank it higher but Part 2 didn’t quite stick the landing from Part 1.

 

10 – IN THE TALL GRASS (2019)

 

Where’s a mower when you need one?

 

HONORABLE MENTION

 

(1994 – 1999) THE SHAWSHANK REDEMPTION & THE GREEN MILE

 

Honorable mention because neither are horror, although there’s something of a dark fantasy element in The Green Mile. The Shawshank Redemption doesn’t even have any fantasy (or SF) elements – it’s just straight up real world drama. I mention it here because it’s just such a damn good film, often listed by people as one of their favorites, presumably unaware that it was based on a Stephen King short story because of the lack of horror or dark fantasy. It also has my favorite use of the word obtuse in any film.

 

Top Tens – Fantasy & SF: Top 10 Fantasy Books (Special Mention: Classic) (10) Robert E. Howard – Conan

O yes – he’ll be showing her his savage sword! Classic Conan pose (or leg cling) in The Savage Sword of Conan cover art by Earl Norem for “The Treasure of Tranicos”, issue 47, 1 December 1979, Marvel Comics (fair use)

 

 

(10) ROBERT E. HOWARD –

CONAN (1932-1936)

 

“As Dracula is to vampires, Sherlock Holmes is to private detectives, and Superman is to superheroes, so Conan is to barbarian heroes”.

The Lord of the Rings may have defined modern literary fantasy – fantasy could well be classified as pre-Tolkien and post-Tolkien. And yet…there were of course other writers of fantasy before (and apart from) Tolkien, most notably Robert E. Howard and his Conan stories from 1932 to 1936. I understand that Tolkien read and enjoyed the Conan stories – and I can’t resist quoting George R. R. Martin, who came to The Lord of The Rings from those very different Conan stories:

“Robert E. Howard’s stories usually opened with a giant serpent slithering by or an axe cleaving someone’s head in two. Tolkien opened his with a birthday party…Conan would hack a bloody path right through the Shire, end to end, I remembered thinking…Yet I kept on reading. I almost gave up at Tom Bombadil, when people started going “Hey! Come derry do! Tom Bombadillo!”. Things got more interesting in the barrow downs, though, and even more so in Bree, where Strider strode onto the scene. By the time we got to Weathertop, Tolkien had me…A chill went through me, such as Conan and Kull have never evoked.”

On the other hand, Conan would have made quick work of the Quest, while making off with an elf girl or two…

Conan embodies heroic fantasy in his setting of the Hyborian Age – an age of our own world after “the oceans drank Atlantis” that conveniently predates all surviving historical records. Translation: a setting for which Howard didn’t have to do any of that pesky research for his quick pulp fantasy stories but which could still invoke or have historical vibes as the precursors of civilizations in recorded history.

“Know, o prince, that between the years when the oceans drank Atlantis and the gleaming cities, and the years of the rise of the sons of Aryas, there was an Age undreamed of, when shining kingdoms lay spread across the world like blue mantles beneath the stars — Nemedia, Ophir, Brythunia, Hyperborea, Zamora with its dark-haired women and towers of spider-haunted mystery, Zingara with its chivalry, Koth that bordered the pastoral lands of Shem, Stygia with its shadow-guarded tombs, Hyrkania whose riders wore steel and silk and gold. But the proudest kingdom of the world was Aquilonia, reigning supreme in the dreaming west. Hither came Conan, the Cimmerian; black-haired, sullen-eyed, sword in hand, a thief, a reaver, a slayer, with gigantic melancholies and gigantic mirth, to tread the jeweled thrones of the Earth under his sandaled feet.”

That pretty much sums up Howard’s stories of his best known hero Conan which often invoke for me Conan as a Hyborian Bond – or is that barbarian Bond? – with similar vibes as James Bond with the different Bond girls for each story, as well as the different monstrous or sorcerous antagonists.

Due to his friendship with H.P. Lovecraft, “the original Conan stories are actually a peripheral part of the Cthulhu Mythos” – and perhaps that friendship also accounts for the huge “loathsome serpents” that recur throughout the stories. They are also canon to the Marvel Universe, thanks to their adaptation to comics by Marvel.

 

RATING:

A-TIER (TOP TIER)