Top Tens – Tropes & Other: Top 10 Bronze Ages / Bronze Age Iceberg

Gold death-mask known as the Mask of Agamemnon from Mycenae, Greece 1550 BC, photograph by Xuan Che used as image in Wikipedia “Bronze Age” under licence https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/deed.en

 

 

TOP 10 BRONZE AGES / BRONZE AGE ICEBERG

 

After the Stone, comes the Bronze – and my Top 10 Bronze Ages!

Yes, it’s another one of my (mostly) tongue in cheek top ten lists where I look at a subject which has a fundamental continuity or unity, but which can also be broken up into distinct parts or perspectives. Alternatively, you can think of it as my Bronze Age iceberg meme.

I could have argued for distinct Bronze Ages. While the focus of the Bronze Age tends to be Europe and western Asia, it occurred in different ways even within that focus, let alone the different times or regional variations throughout the world. I could have at least argued for the usual three-part demarcation of the Bronze Age into Early, Middle and Late Bronze Ages.

But no – it’s (mostly) more fun as different levels or parts of my Bronze Age iceberg.

As such, like my other top ten lists for “ages”, this will be more one of my shallow dip top ten lists – with shorter entries – than my deep dive top ten lists on other subjects.

 

A-TIER (TOP TIER)

 

(1) BIBLICAL BRONZE AGE – CANAAN

 

The Bronze Age Dreaming – and foremost cultural artefact of the Bronze Age in Western culture.

Well, not exactly – it’s the Iron Age dreaming of the Bronze Age, the Bronze Age preceding the kingdoms of Israel and Judah which emerged in the power vacuum left by the collapsing or retreating Bronze Age great powers before being swallowed up again once more by new great powers.

God is bronze – or Bronze Age. I remember a passage in the Old Testament where his divine war-winning power was stymied by iron chariots. (Looking it up it’s in the Book of Judges 1:19, which implies that God could not drive out the Canaanites with their chariots of iron – iron chariots pop up in a few references in that book and the preceding Book of Joshua).

 

(2) CLASSICAL BRONZE AGE – MYCENAE & TROY

 

The other Bronze Age Dreaming apart from the Bible – and other foremost cultural artefact of the Bronze Age in Western culture with Homer’s Iliad and Odyssey.

Well, again not exactly – it’s the Iron Age dreaming of the Bronze Age, since Homer as well as the composition of the Iliad and Odyssey are usually dated to the Iron Age. The historicity of the Trojan War is also an open question, although often identified as part of or leading up to the Late Bronze Age Collapse.

Speaking of which…

 

(3) BRONZE AGE COLLAPSE

 

You didn’t think I was going to have a Top 10 Bronze Ages without featuring the Bronze Age Collapse or more precisely Late Bronze Age Collapse, did you?

The Bronze Age Collapse – the widespread societal collapse of Mediterranean Bronze Age civilization in the 12th century BC, argued to be worse than the collapse of the western Roman Empire or even argued to be the worst case of societal collapse in human history. A dozen ancient civilizations collapsed or declined – “Almost every significant city in the eastern Mediterranean world was destroyed, many of them never to be occupied again.”

 

(4) EGYPTIAN BRONZE AGE

 

Egypt would have to be hands down the most prominent Bronze Age civilization, thanks to its enduring monumental art or architecture and the equally enduring fascination with it in Western popular culture.

Also like my quip about God in the Biblical Bronze Age, Egypt was bronze – or more precisely, Bronze Age Egypt was peak Egypt. It didn’t too well in the Iron Age, falling to the Assyrians and succeeding great powers after them – as Egypt was increasingly not one of those great powers after the Bronze Age.

 

(5) MESOPOTAMIAN BRONZE AGE

 

The archetypal Bronze Age civilization – the various river valley city-states, states and empires of Mesopotamia.

 

(6) MINOAN BRONZE AGE

 

The Bronze Age’s model matriarchy – and topless too! Or in the parlance of social media – Minoan mommy milkers!

Or not – we just don’t know, although certainly some archaeological evidence suggests it.  The Minoan scripts have not been fully deciphered and hence we do not have the Minoans in their own words, only what we interpret of them through their art and architecture they left behind for archaeologists.

However, that hasn’t stopped Minoan civilization being mythologized or held up as a model matriarchy from Arthur Evans onwards and not coincidentally, more broadly a model society – from Robert Graves through Fritz Leiber (influenced by Graves) to David Graeber.

 

B-TIER (HIGH TIER)

 

(7) HITTITE BRONZE AGE

 

It may not have the prominence of Egypt or Mesopotamia (despite some fame for the Battle of Kadesh it fought against the former) but the Hittites or Hittite Empire deserves a place in any Bronze Age top ten.

Apart from being one of the major Bronze Age civilizations, the Hittites feature prominently in both of those two foremost cultural artefacts of the Bronze Age in Western culture – the Bible and the epic poems of Homer, the Iliad and the Odyssey.

The Hittites are frequently referenced by name in the Bible, although there is substantial debate about whether or to what extent the Biblical Hittites correspond to the Bronze Age Hittites and their successors.

The Hittites are less obviously referenced by Homer. That reference is with Troy itself, which is often seen as or argued to be a city within a confederation that was effectively a Hittite satellite state.

Of course, given the Roman myths of their Trojan origin, wouldn’t that make the Roman Empire…the neo-Hittite Empire?! It’s even more ironic when you think that for a large part of its history, the eastern Roman Empire had a similar geographic area to the Hittite Empire.

 

(8) INDUS VALLEY BRONZE AGE

 

The Indus Valley Civilization features prominently in the Bronze Age of my imagination, with the mystique of its two leading cities, Harappa (for which the Indus Valley Civilization and its inhabitants are alternatively named as Harappan) and Mohenjo-daro.

That and the famous Dancing Girl statue from the latter, because you can never have too many dancing girls. She’s nude too.

 

(9) EUROPEAN BRONZE AGE

 

Usually eclipsed by the more prominent Aegean Bronze Age (of Greek and Minoan civilizations), the rest of Europe also had its Bronze Age, across a diverse array of cultures and span of time through at least the entire second millennium BC, if not usually before and after as well.

 

(10) CHINESE BRONZE AGE

 

The usage of Bronze Age has been transferred to the archaeology of China from that of western Eurasia – not always smoothly or without debate as to its demarcation, but such that it usually has included two imperial dynasties, the Shang Dynasty and the Zhou Dynasty

Friday Night Funk – Top 10 Music (Mojo & Funk): (8) Funk: Hilltop Hoods – Nosebleed Section (2003)

Hilltop Hoods logo

*

(8) FUNK: HILLTOP HOODS – NOSEBLEED SECTION (2003)

B-SIDE: Cosby Sweater (2014)

 

“Ladies come chill, come rock with me hunny

I got like half a mill in monopoly money

There’s no stopping me honey, so you can take my hand

We can lay on the beach and count grains of sand

Or take a plane to Japan, and drink sake with mafia

Fly to Libya for some Bacardi with Qaddafi a

Dinner date, followed by a funk show

We’ll rip off our tops and jump around in the front row” 

 

Another song from my life soundtrack – which is the running theme of my sixth to ninth places.

For this funk entry, we’re in the genre of hip hop. Australian hip hop, that is. After all, what would any music list be without some Australian hip hop. (What? It has its own Wikipedia entry!).

This was the Hoods’ breakthrough song, The Nosebleed Section, from their third album in 2003 (albeit effectively their first commercially available album), with its chorus and backing beat sampled from The People in the Front Row sung by Melanie Safka. The unsophisticated video reflects their underground origins and corresponding limited budget – albeit showcasing impressive riding skill (by former BMX flatland rider Simon O’Brien).

There’s just something that resonates about life turning out like nothing you had planned – with nothing but dreams or “writing rhymes on the bus” – and inverting that into the “upbeat themes of parties, concerts, good times and living the high life”, even if only for the night.

The Hilltop Hoods have continued to produce and perform songs through the next decade, including surprisingly soulful songs (and videos) at times, such as their singles Higher and Won’t Let You Down.

As for my B-side, I have to go with the unfortunately named Cosby Sweater (a title the band itself regretted after the fact) because it’s so damn catchy.

 

 

RATING: 

B-TIER (HIGH-TIER)

Top Tens – Fantasy & SF: Top 10 Fantasy Books (Special Mention: Cult & Pulp) (20) Fantasy Art

Classic cover art by Boris Vallejo for Tarnsman of Gor – questionable book content but quintessential fantasy art!

 

 

(20) FANTASY ART

 

On the face of it, this may not appear to be my usual kinky entry I throw in among my wilder special mentions as my final or twentieth special mention – but it is, o yes, it is.

Fantasy art – the art illustrating subjects from cinematic or literary fantasy, whether as art of itself or book covers and film posters or promotional art.

You know the ones – the ones from about the 1970s onwards, particularly in the pulpier book covers. Conan books as well as comics, particularly in the archetypal Conan pose with leg cling – the leg cling of course being the scantily clad damsel clinging to the warrior’s leg.

And that reference to the Conan pose alone shows where the kink comes in – that fantasy art tends to default to pinup art, for both male and female subjects.

Not that there’s anything wrong with that – we’re talking Frank Frazetta, Boris Vallejo and Luis Royo among others.

Perhaps the pinnacle of fantasy pin-up cover art is for Gor – the book covers for the Gor series, the best of which was by Boris Vallejo. The books may be pure pulp in content – I’ve never read them, but I know the basic premise – but that content, which I understand to be increasingly of female bondage and submission as the series goes on, is perfect for for pinup fantasy art.

 

RATING:

X-TIER (WILD TIER)

Top Tens – Fantasy & SF: Top 10 Fantasy Books (Special Mention: Classic) (19) Kenneth Grahame – The Wind in the Willows

Cover art of the 1989 paperback edition (featuring the original artwork by Ernest Shephard, best known for his illustrations in this book and the Winnie the Pooh books)

 

 

(19) KENNETH GRAHAME –

THE WIND IN THE WILLOWS (1908)

 

“Beloved 1908 children’s novel by British author Kenneth Grahame, set in an idealized England of the late Victorian to early Edwardian Era. It details the adventures and misadventures of four variably anthropomorphic animals living around the banks of The River.”

‘Nuff said, except to note that those four animals are Mole, Ratty, Mr. Toad, and Mr. Badger.

And that it is based on bedtime stories by Grahame for his son, as well as that “has been adapted numerous times for both stage and screen”.

The highlight for me is of course the glorious paganism of the god Pan in the chapter “The Piper at the Gates of Dawn”. Such is Pan’s power that he has no connection to the main plot yet muscles himself into a chapter that is effectively a side-quest – hence is often left out of adaptations. Blasphemy! Io Pan! Io Pan Pan!

 

RATING:

B-TIER (HIGH TIER)

Monday Night Mojo – Top 10 Music (Mojo & Funk): (9) Mojo: Gnarls Barkley – Going On

Screenshot from the official music video

 

 

(9) MOJO: GNARLS BARKLEY – GOING ON (2008)

B-SIDE: RUN (I’M A NATURAL DISASTER) (2008)

 

“But I’m going on

And I’m prepared to go it alone

I’m going on

May my love lift you up to the place you belong

I’m going on

And I promise I’ll be waiting for you”

 

A song from my life soundtrack – or the soundtrack of the film in my mind.

Psychedelic soul duo Gnarls Barkley (or Danger Mouse and Cee-Lo Green) are better known for their first album St Elsewhere and its hit single “Crazy”, but I prefer this song from their second album The Odd Couple in 2008.

As is clear from the lyrics, the song is about leaving something (and clearly someone) behind and, well, going on – to answer a powerful call, whether a call to freedom, the mythic hero’s call to adventure or even a mystical call to something beyond this world altogether. Hence it’s another song from my life soundtrack as it coincided with a time in my life when I was going on (and had to go on) from someone and something.

Indeed, for me, this song has echoes of Hendrix’s otherworldly Voodoo Child, not so much in its instrumentality (as Hendrix’s guitar is, after all, unmatched), but in how it similarly casts “an even more powerful spell by delivering the lyric in the voice (or chorus) of a voodoo priest” – something that is even clearer in the music video for the song.

As for my B-side, I have to go with Run (I’m a Natural Disaster), a single from the same album – perhaps best known as a song from a film soundtrack, the X-Men: First Class film.

 

 

RATING: 

B-TIER (HIGH-TIER)

Top Tens – Fantasy & SF: Top 10 Fantasy Books (Special Mention: Classic) (18) Dodie Smith – 101 Dalmatians

The rare and elusive first edition cover – most versions these days use art from the Disney films

 

 

(18) DODIE SMITH –

101 DALMATIANS (1956)

 

I mean, you all know it – although probably from the various Disney animated or live-action adaptations rather than the original 1956 children’s novel “about the kidnapping of a family of Dalmatian puppies” (alternatively titled and serialized as The Great Dog Robbery).

Which is a pity because the novel reads as a classic fantasy quest across the English countryside, with dogs as the protagonists. You know, kind of like The Lord of the Rings – but with dogs. Note to self – write The Lord of the Rings but with dogs.

It’s also a pity because the novel had a 1967 sequel, The Starlight Barking (a title adapted from the Twilight Barking or dog telegraph of the first novel) which hasn’t been adapted (despite film sequels such as 102 Dalmatians) – I haven’t read it but it sounds like it was absolutely tripping balls, going from The Lord of the Rings with dogs to The War of the Worlds with alien dogs..

 

RATING:

B-TIER (HIGH TIER)

Friday Night Funk – Top 10 Music (Mojo & Funk): New Entry (10) Funk: Sombr – 12 to 12

It doesn’t get much funkier than parking on the dance floor! Also a good way to get the attention of that girl you like. Shot from the official music video directed by Gus Black and released 24 July 2025

 

 

(10) FUNK: SOMBR – 12 TO 12

 

“In a room full of people, I look for you”

 

Well, looks like I’ve found my standout song for 2025 and hence my new wildcard tenth place entry, according to my usual rule reserving that place for my favorite entry from the present or previous year.

Sombr is the stage name of Shane Michael Boose – essentially a play on his initials and the word somber – “an American singer, songwriter, and record producer”.

Although he released his debut single in 2021 and first EP in 2023, it was two singles (“Back to Friends” and “Undressed”) in 2025 that went viral on social media and became his breakout hits. That was followed by his debut studio album (I Barely Know Her – a title that encapsulates his recurring themes of “heartbreak, unrequited love, and emotional introspection” throughout his songs, including this one). That album included those two previous singles, as well as two follow up singles, including this entry.

“The song mixes ’80s-style synth-pop and new wave with hints of ’70s funk and blues, highlighted by Sombr’s vocals that shift between falsetto and rough growls…The track was described as walking the line between “repurposed funk with fuzzy blues licks” and hints of “bongo hits”. Sombr’s “shifting” vocals, alternating between a “lustful falsetto” and a “hungry, distorted growl” throughout the track were said to “ooze suave and mischievousness”. Sombr sings to a love interest, uncertain whether his feelings are being reciprocated.”

I don’t quite know the meaning of repurposed funk with fuzzy blues licks but it had me at funk, as the song did, with what seems to me more than hints of ’70s funk. That is reinforced by the video, which features a mirror-balled disco dance floor – where a sunglass-wearing Sombr has incongruously parked his car but damn it looks good. Social media personality and singer Addison Rae features as his love interest of the song – one that looks pretty requited in the video but the scenes of Sombr floating unconscious in a pool (with a great shot past him to the two police officers looking at him in the pool) suggests otherwise, and in my mind that the whole video might be his dream life flashing before his eyes so to speak.

 

RATING:

X-TIER (WILD TIER)

Top Tens – Fantasy & SF: Top 10 Fantasy Books (Special Mention: Cult & Pulp) (19) Neoltitude

Screencap Neoltitude account on Twitter

 

 

(19) NEOLTITUDE

 

Evocative magical realist short-form poetry or surreal fantasy micro-fiction on Twitter – wild tier special mention because I’m waiting for the book compilation.

Like haikus – but, you know, instead of the formal structure of three phrases and seventeen syllables, it’s a limit of 240 characters, as each tweet is its own embedded story.

I’ve encountered quite a bit of microfiction on Twitter but Neoltitude is the one to which I keep coming back. Of course, that’s because I follow them, so it would be more accurate to say they’re the one I stuck with or never left in the first place.

That’s because they’re good – always evocative, often haunting or beautiful images that burn themselves into your psyche. Much like the angels or gods that are their frequent subject.

And because they’re fun – leavened with wit and humor, often self-effacing. As in their Patreon –
“You can think of this like carbon offsets, only for making the world more confusing & surreal…Hi, I’m ctrl. I have written over 9000 short fiction tweets, which I estimate have cost me at LEAST several years of my life. In order to gain back some of this lost time, I am reaching out in desperation to you, kind reader. please, this is all I have”.

 

RATING:
X-TIER (WILD TIER)

Top Tens – Fantasy & SF: Top 10 Fantasy Books (Special Mention: Cult & Pulp) (18) Hookland

Screencap of Hookland account on Twitter

 

 

(18) HOOKLAND

 

Hookland is reminiscent of my top 10 entry for Night Vale, similarly an eldritch fantasy kitchen sink setting – but where Night Vale leans more to conspiracy theory and urban myth (as well as outright Lynchian surreal fantasy), Hookland leans more to English folklore, ghosts and the fair folk.

The key distinction – by which Hookland ranks as wild tier special mention rather than a top 10 entry as for Night Vale – is that where Night Vale has spread from its original podcast to books, Hookland remains in its original form as a ‘web original’ project on social media, primarily (at least for this reader) through the Hookland Guide Twitter profile (which dates back to 2014). Indeed – I yearn for books from Hookland, although it is perhaps apt that Hookland Guide is almost as elusive as Hookland itself, teased though gossamer strands and tantalizing threads on Twitter. I understand that it is a collaborative project, with its origin (and prime mover) in author David Southwell.

Another key distinction, albeit not to my fantasy rankings, is that where Night Vale is primarily narrated through the town’s community radio broadcaster, Hookland is narrated through a number of voices – dramatis personae teased out through threads across time, from witches to police detectives. Despite the consistency of narrator in Night Vale, Night Vale and Hookland – like the best fantasy or SF in general – doles out their mythos or world-building in doses, mostly hints and oblique references. For Hookland, however, these are in sore need – at least to this reader – of compilation in more formal reference, such as an encyclopedia or wiki, even as pages in Wikipedia or TV Tropes (from which it is sadly absent). The closest thing is the working map of Hookland posted

Despite Night Vale being an American desert town and Hookland an English county, both are similarly amorphous – not quite fixed in time and space, although remaining within the confines of their respective nations (albeit as quasi-independent entities), and dotted with distinctive landmarks.

As I said, Hookland leans more to English folklore, notably ghost and fair folk – but has many more elements in its fantasy kitchen sink setting, all the way to technofantasy or SF, such as the Hum, electricity pylons as latter day ley lines and mystic transcendence.

 

RATING:
X-TIER (WILD TIER)

Top Tens – Fantasy & SF: Top 10 Fantasy Books (Special Mention: Cult & Pulp) (17) Salvation War

This but we’re doing it to both of them – indeed, there’s even the pun that the Sun of Man rose up in Heaven when we nuke it. The Son casts the Rebels out of Heaven – 1885 illustration by Gustave Dore for Milton’s Paradise Lost (public domain image)

 

 

(17) SALVATION WAR

 

Yes – it’s cheesy and never evolved past its raw first draft as a playful tongue-in-cheek thread on an online forum (hence the wild-tier special mention) but I still have a soft spot for it. After all, what’s not to love about humanity taking on both sides of the apocalypse, heaven and hell? And winning!

Sadly, it remains unedited and unpublished as an actual book as it should have been – and also unresolved, as only the first two parts of a trilogy (although the war on heaven at least reached its conclusion), as the author firstly faced issues with its publication and then passed away as he was working on the third part. That author, Stuart Slade, did publish another series The Big One as self-published books – the title referring to its opening premise of the United States nuking the crap out of Nazi Germany in 1947 after Britain made peace in 1940).

The premise of The Salvation War is simple. What is humanity to do when God abandons Earth in the apocalypse, declaring it and everyone on it forfeit to the forces of Hell? Well, what else but declare war on both Heaven and Hell – and to kick ass doing it!

 

RATING:
X-TIER (WILD TIER)