Top Tens – Mythology: Top 10 Mythologies (Special Mention: Divine Comedy Rankings)

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An Italian joker card – public domain image Wikipedia “Joker (playing card)”

 

 

 

Life is the laughter of the gods – but sometimes they have a black sense of humor.

Ranking mythologies by their comedy and tricksters, from the laughter of the gods to serious business…

 

S-TIER (GOD-TIER – OR IS THAT JOKER-TIER?)

 

(1) CLASSICAL

 

As for the equal rites of its goddesses or female figures, classical mythology has to rank highly for the laughter of the gods – in the prolific number and enduring iconic nature of myths with comedic elements or trickster figures.

The Odyssey is arguably one long trickster’s tale. Indeed, the origin of dramatic comedy is in Greek theater or drama, which tended to revolve around the tales, themes or tropes of classical mythology.

 

(2) NORSE

 

For a mythology of icy warrior gods holding the line against chaos before being swallowed up by it (literally in the case of Odin), Norse mythology is surprisingly comedic when it comes to the laughter of the gods.

Part of that comes from the prevalence of tricksters, including the head of its pantheon Odin – who always reminds me of a compulsive gambler trying to string out one trick after another to stop the house from winning.

 

(3) CELTIC (ARTHURIAN)

 

Arthurian legend might seem very earnest, but it has quite the comedic streak to it. I mean, the Questing Beast is a gag, right?

Not to mention quite a few trickster figures – I’m counting Merlin.

 

A-TIER (TOP TIER)

 

(4) EGYPTIAN

 

There would seem to be little room for the laughter of the gods in a mythology between the desert and the deep blue sea, but surprisingly Egyptian mythology does come to the party with some divine comedy, albeit some of it seemingly unintentional and more comedic to modern readers – as well as working blue.

There’s the creation myth, admittedly one of many, of the supreme god, again one of many, literally mast*rbating the cosmos into existence – or of the sacred scarab or dung beetle rolling the sun like dung. And the less said about Horus’s special sauce in his salad dressing the better, although I presume that must have been intended as a dirty joke.

 

(5) HINDU

 

A mythology that proposes reality as maya or illusion, and as lila or divine play, is clearly one for laughter of the gods, divine comedy and tricksters.

 

B-TIER (HIGH TIER)

 

(6) NATIVE AMERICAN (LAKOTA)

 

More broadly, Native American mythologies have quite the divine comedy of recurring trickster figures – foremost among them the animal trickster gods Coyote and Raven. I like to draw a direct line of mythic descent from the former to Wile E Coyote as modern trickster.

 

(7) AFRO-AMERICAN (VOODOO)

 

The loa seem to enjoy humor, often of a crude nature.

 

(8) MIDDLE EASTERN (BABYLO-SUMERIAN)

 

There’s some laughter of the gods here and there. Gilgamesh has a few gags.

 

(9) MESO-AMERICAN (AZTEC)

 

A priest sacrificing you and dancing around in your flayed skin isn’t that funny.

Okay, it’s a little funny but perhaps more as horror comedy along the lines of the Evil Dead franchise – or splatterpunk.

 

X-TIER (WILD TIER)

 

(10) BIBLICAL

 

The Bible seems to be very serious business.

Or is it?

You’d be surprised by the Bible when it comes how much divine comedy or how many trickster figures you can squeeze out of it. Some of that is seemingly intentional but even more is unintentional – typically absurdist or black comedy.

What is neither black nor unintentional is the argument that the Gospels are ultimately comedic in nature, essentially along the lines of its eucatastrophe or happy ending in triumph over tragedy.

Taking that a bit further to less serious interpretations, I’ve always been struck by the similarity in style between parables and jokes. And you can’t deny that Jesus had a gift for a snappy one-liner, particularly to hecklers – even when those hecklers include the Devil.

Top Tens – Film: Top 10 Vampire Horror Films

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Screenshot of Christopher Lee as Dracula in the 1958 film (public domain image from Internet Archive)

 

If zombies are the flesh of horror films, vampires are the blood – and these are my Top 10 Vampire Horror Films in one of my shallow dips or top tens on the spot.

 

S-TIER (GOD TIER – OR IS THAT DRACULA-TIER?)

 

1 – LET ME IN (2010)

 

epiction of vampires as alien predatory entities to humanity to invoke horror on the screen for me – the shark-like predators of 30 Days of Night, or the Lovecraftian parasites in the TV series The Strain.

A refreshingly revamped horror film – revamped also from its origin in the Swedish novel and film Let The Right One In. For one thing, there is just something inherently unsettling about child vampires – in this case, the vampire girl played by Chloe Grace Moritz. For another, the horror was not so much from any scares in it, but again more conceptual or existential – particularly in the relationship between the vampire girl and an alienated and bullied boy.

 

A-TIER (TOP TIER)

 

2 – FRIGHT NIGHT (1985-2013)

 

Probably my favorite vampire film to watch – classic pulp fun! What do you do when a vampire becomes your next door neighbor? Call on the celebrity film vampire hunter turned late night horror TV host, of course.

Also a media franchise with a sequel and remake (and remake sequel).

 

3 – FROM DUSK TILL DAWN (1996-2016)

 

A vampire horror film by Robert Rodriguez (and Tarantino) so iconic that it has spawned a whole franchise extending over two decades – mostly lacklustre film sequels but I liked the TV series adaptation.

Gangster criminals on the run in Mexico vs stripper vampires? What more could you want? Well, apart from Salma Hayek’s Santanico Pandemonium, whose snake dance will be hot-branded in my psyche forever.

 

4 – 30 DAYS OF NIGHT (2007-2010)

 

Technically this should be in my comic book films as it is based on a comic series of the same name but it’s one of my favorite vampire horror films to watch so I’m ranking it here instead.

The title says the plot and premise – vampire congregate on the Alaskan town of Barrow for an all you can eat buffet opportunity of the titular thirty days of night in the depths of winter.

Also spawned a media franchise.

 

B-TIER (HIGH TIER)

 

5 – THE KEEP (1983)

 

Vampires and Nazis – what more do you want? How about Gandalf vs Dracula? (Well, before Gandalf facing off with Dracula actor Christopher Lee as Saruman in the Jackson Lord of the Ring films).

Okay – technically it’s not a vampire (or Dracula) but something posing as one, adapted from the novel by F. Scott Wilson. Still, I’m counting it as another of the more ‘artsy’ vampire horror films out there, albeit somewhat lacking in coherence for anything but cult following. Some big names among its actors – including Ian McKellan obviously for my Gandalf vs Dracula joke.

 

6 – LAIR OF THE WHITE WORM (1988)

 

Stoker strikes again! A film adapted from his 1911 novel – I suspect very loosely, borrowing from his more famous novel to feature snake-vampires in a pagan cult to a snake-god. Snakes for the snake-god! Slither in!

Directed by Ken Russell in his characteristic controversial flamboyant or psychedelic style – not to mention kinky, hence coiling itself deep in my psyche.

 

7 – SHADOW OF THE VAMPIRE (2000)

 

Nosferatu got a lot more real than you’d think. Willem Dafoe shines as usual, as does John Malkovich.

 

8 – BLOOD RED SKY (2021)

 

Putting the red into red-eye flight when hijackers take a plane with a surprise among the passengers.

 

9 – ABIGAIL (2024)

 

Apparently loosely based – very loosely based – on the 1936 film Dracula’s Daughter.

Part of the fun was the ensemble cast. Giancarlo Esposito, who seems to be the go-to guy to add smooth badass vocal charm to film or animated series. Dan Stevens – who is always fun in horror film roles and should be in more of them. Melissa Barrera further establishing herself as horror film scream queen (although she’ll never eclipse the high queen Jenna Ortega).

 

X-TIER (WILD TIER)

 

10 – SINNERS (2025)

 

A vampire horror film that essentially pulls a From Dusk till Dawn switcheroo halfway through the film, but in a 1930s Mississippi blues speakeasy rather than a 1990s Mexico strip club. Quite frankly, the vampires seem to be doing almost everyone involved in the former a favor, given life in this Mississippi Delta sharecropping town – and given that the speakeasy, run by the Smokestack gangster duo, was doomed in three different ways before the vampires showed up. The vampires just got there first – and not by much.

The film has its highlights, foremost among them its Irish vampire antagonist Remmick but also its music, which essentially becomes its own character in the film.

 

 

SPECIAL MENTION

 

(1) DRACULA (CARMILLA & ELIZABETH BATHORY) – BRAM STOKER’S DRACULA (1992)

 

Special mention has to go to Dracula films within vampire films – and Bram Stoker’s Dracula is still my favorite cinematic adaptation of Dracula, albeit playing somewhat loose with the novel at times.

Apocalypse Now in Transylvania!

(Amusingly, Kim Newman did a short story doing just that inspired by the film).

Yes – that’s a quip based on the same director, Francis Ford Coppola, but captures the same cinematic visual style he brought to both. Also – it wouldn’t take too much to rewrite it as Apocalypse Now, except going upriver in Transylvania to take out Dracula.

Shout-out to films of literary vampire Carmilla and historical ‘vampire’ Elizabeth Bathory – not as prolific as Dracula but still worthy of their own special category within vampire films.

 

(2) NOSFERATU (2024)

 

“He is coming”

Yes, I know it’s Dracula with the serial numbers filed off but it’s essentially become a franchise all of its own, of remakes as well as a recurring model with Count Orlok (and the name nosferatu) for vampires. Although the original film was the 1922 German silent film – also remade by Werner Herzog as the 1979 German film Nosferatu the Vampire which is the ‘original’ version I saw – I’m giving this entry to the passion project remake by Robert Eggers as the outstanding version.

As played by Bill Skarsgard (upping the ante on his previous eldritch horror depiction of Pennywise), Orlok is still grotesque but also a towering and terrifying figure of apocalyptic plague, literal and metaphorical. And that’s not just by sight but also by sound – with his reverberating, sepulchral voice.

As usual, Eggers excels in the atmospheric and visual nature of his films – with the use of darkness so palpable here that it is virtually a character in its own right (and indeed usually is as part of Orlok). Much of the film has a dream-like quality, or rather a quality of nightmare – not coincidentally as Orlok has the power to invade the dreams or minds of his victims, being as much like a lich as he is a vampire.

The only drawback is the naked virgin on horseback – I would have liked to see much more of her, or even a whole film about her as naked virgin vampire hunter. Apparently she was played by a Czech model Katerina Bila – you’re welcome.

 

(3) SALEM’S LOT

 

A media franchise based on Stephen King’s version of Dracula in Maine.

 

 

HONORABLE MENTION

 

(1983) THE HUNGER

 

One of the more ‘artsy’ vampire horror films out there – with a cast of beautiful people (Catherine Deneuve, David Bowie and Susan Sarandon). Based (loosely) on a novel by Whitley Streiber, it features a love triangle between a doctor specialising in ageing research and a vampire couple.

 

(1987) THE LOST BOYS

 

Classic 80s vampire film, albeit trying a little too much too be cool for my taste and not as fun as Fright Night, that other classic 1980s vampire film.

 

Top Tens – Fantasy & SF: Top 10 Fantasy Books (Special Mention: Classic) (8) J.M. Barrie – Peter Pan

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Cover annotated centennial edition published by W.W. Norton & Company in 2014 (the edition I own)

 

 

(8) J.M. BARRIE –

PETER PAN (1902-1911)

 

Peter Pan, the fictional character created by Scottish novelist and playwright J.M. Barrie, needs little introduction but I’ll quote one anyway.

“A free-spirited and mischievous young boy who can fly and never grows up, he spends his never-ending childhood having adventures on the mythical island of Neverland as the leader of the Lost Boys, interacting with fairies, pirates, mermaids, Native Americans, and occasionally ordinary children from the world outside Neverland…Peter Pan has become a cultural icon symbolising youthful innocence and escapism”.

On the topic of fairies, I can’t mention Peter Pan without his fairy companion Tinkerbell.

However, there are some things I might be able to introduce about him.

The first major appearance of Peter Pan was in a play rather than the novel he is better remembered by – the 1904 stage play by Barrie, Peter Pan: or The Boy Who Wouldn’t Grow Up (although that was preceded by his appearance in another of Barrie’s works, The Little White Bird in 1902), before the play was expanded into the 1911 novel, Peter and Wendy.

“The original play is fairy Child-Friendly: Captain Hook is a blustering comic villain, the violence is usually a pratfall or similar form of slapstick, and death is treated more like a time-out. In contrast, the book version (Peter and Wendy) later written by Barrie is a sly deconstruction of the Victorian notion of the sacred innocence of children, full of parental bonus dark humor and subtle gallows humor; Barrie was a master satirist for his time, though few of his satires are remembered today.”

However, Peter Pan is an archetypal magical trickster hero – “a playful demigod, with aspects of Puck and Pan” (the latter even in his name) and “a cultural symbol of youthful exuberance and innocence”. And I just can’t resist the revival of Pan, that most pagan of classical pagan gods – indeed one that came to embody classical paganism – as a trickster hero of children’s fantasy. Not to mention giving him a thoroughly Dionysian character and – particularly for the proverbial boy who never grew up – a veritable harem of fairies, mermaids and Wendy Darling.

And of course there’s his love of adventure among the Lost Boys fighting pirates, including the ‘adventure’ of his own mortality

“The story of Peter Pan has been a popular one for adaptation into other media” – film, both live-action and animated, stage plays or musicals, television, comics and so on, with perhaps the best known as the 1953 Disney animated film.

 

RATING:

A-TIER (TOP TIER)

Top Tens – Fantasy & SF: Top 10 Fantasy Books (Special Mention: Cult & Pulp) (8) Simon R. Green – Nightside

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Collage of cover art of all twelve Nightside books published by Ace (and the editions I own)

 

 

(8) SIMON R. GREEN –

NIGHTSIDE (2003-2012)

 

“The Nightside. That square mile of Hell in the middle of the city, where it’s always three AM. Where you can walk beside myths and drink with monsters. Where nothing is what it seems and everything is possible.”

Simon R. Green is the author of one of my favorite of the ‘trenchcoat brigade’ of occult detectives following in the footsteps of Hellblazer’s John Constantine – John Taylor of the Nightside. The Nightside itself is an eldritch and extra-dimensional suburb of London, except of course that it is not so much a suburb as a hidden world inside London. And in it is all manner of beings, gods and eldritch abominations. As for John Taylor, he has a magical gift or ‘inner eye’ for finding anything, or would if it generally didn’t find him trouble first – or worse, allow trouble to find him.

What I particularly enjoy about the Green’s writing in general and the Nightside series in particular is that it has the tongue-in-cheek sensibility of writing in comics – indeed, the Nightside series often feels like a prose comic, particularly in its vivid characters with matching names or titles. Protagonist John Taylor is of course somewhat nondescript in his name, but then there’s his colleagues like Shotgun Suzie, Razor Eddie, Sinner (and Pretty Poison), Madman, Dead Boy and the Oblivion brothers. Not to mention antagonists or abominations like the Harrowing, the Lamentation and Kid Cthulhu.

The highpoint of the series is the first half of it, with its longer story arc through the individual books in which John Taylor confronts the mystery of his mother – a mystery which was best left unsolved, particularly as it involves his apparent destiny in ushering in the Apocalypse (and the source of the Harrowing which pursues him), a destiny even more disturbing because he has seen it for himself in the future…

Close runner-up is his standalone novel Shadow’s Fall, although it has a similar premise (and was ultimately interconnected with) the Night Side series – “a town, where legends, human and otherwise, go out to live their lives as belief in them dies” on the brink of apocalypse (or apocalypses)…

 

RATING:
A-TIER (TOP TIER)

Top Tens – Film: Top 10 Zombie & Zombie Apocalypse Horror Films

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Public domain image from George Romero’s 1968 Night of the Living Dead

 

“Braaaiinnnns!”

Zombie horror films, tending as they do to involve the trope (or tropes) of zombie apocalypse have become so prolific as to define their own film genre, one worthy of their own top ten list many times over just for their themes, tropes and types.

These are my Top 10 Zombie & Zombie Apocalypse Horror Films, as one of my shallow dips or top tens on the spot.

 

S-TIER (GOD TIER – OR IS THAT DEAD-TIER?)

 

1 – EVIL DEAD (1981 – PRESENT)

 

Okay, okay – this is cheating a little as it’s not really zombie horror as such since the titular evil dead are killed and reanimated by demonic possession…but I can’t not mention my favorite horror film franchise here now, can I? Particularly when there is a large overlap between the two, not least the reanimated corpses.

 

A-TIER (TOP TIER)

 

2 – 28 DAYS LATER (2002 – PRESENT)

 

Yes, I’m counting the franchise through 28 Weeks Later through to 28 Years Later (as there was no 28 Months Later) but the first film remains the best, arguably the most definitive modern zombie horror film after Romero and Russo – certainly bringing new life (heh) to the fast zombie trope.

And yes, it is cheating a little, albeit in a more technical way than the Evil Dead franchise, in that its fast zombies aren’t actually dead but living humans infected with the Rage virus, reduced to mindlessness except for the titular rage. The virus is the true terror, terrifyingly contagious both in its speed and ease of infection through bodily fluids.

 

B-TIER (HIGH TIER)

 

3 – DEAD & BURIED (1981)

 

Dead & Buried rounds out my top three zombie horror films – interestingly, all my top three zombie horror films are arguably not zombie horror as such in one way or another. This is the closest of my top three films to zombie horror but still not archetypal zombie horror in the style of Romero and Russo, lacking the ‘viral’ zombies or zombie apocalypse.

 

4 – BRAINDEAD / DEAD ALIVE (1990)

 

Before Peter Jackson did The Lord of the Rings, he did splatterpunk schlock like this – and it’s a hoot.

 

5 – CEMETERY MAN / DELLAMORTE DELLAMORE (1994)

 

Probably the most ”artsy” zombie horror film you’ll see (with Anna Falchi as one of the hottest female characters in a zombie film) – good luck keeping track of the plot.

 

6 – SHAUN OF THE DEAD (2004)

 

“Go to the Winchester, have a nice cold pint, and wait for all this to blow over”.

Shaun of the Dead is probably my favorite zombie horror film to watch – classic pulp fun, but incredibly layered with easter eggs and shout-outs to zombie apocalypse horror.

Billed as a RomZomCom – or romantic comedy with zombies.

 

7 – ZOMBIELAND (2009)

 

One of the better known zombie apocalypse films – and one of the most fun to watch.

 

8 – LAST TRAIN TO BUSAN (2016)

 

Zombies on a train!

East Asian film and TV – in this case Korean film – have taken to the zombie genre with a vengeance.

 

9 – CARGO (2017)

 

Australian zombie horror films are surprisingly prevalent – this is one of the more highbrow (and emotional) ones, starring Martin Freeman

 

10 – ALIVE (2020)

 

Another fun zombie apocalypse horror film from Korea, using its highrise setting to good effect.

 

HONORABLE MENTION

 

(1988) THE SERPENT & THE RAINBOW

 

Stretching the definition of zombie horror film – going back to the origins of the zombie in Haitian vodou belief.

 

(2003-2014) UNDEAD & WYRMWOOD

 

More Australian zombie horror films – if Cargo is the highbrow end of the spectrum, these are more to the lowbrow end (and filmed on shoestring budgets to match). Pulp fun!

 

(2007) PLANET TERROR

 

Robert Rodriguez and Quentin Tarantino do for zombies what they did for vampires in From Dusk Till Dawn.

 

Top Tens – Fantasy & SF: Top 10 Fantasy Books (Special Mention: Cult & Pulp) (7) Terry Pratchett – Discworld

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Cover art of The Compleat Discworld Atlas, Doubleday UK 2025 edition

 

 

(7) TERRY PRATCHETT –
DISCWORLD (1983 – 2015)

Discworld needs little introduction to fans of fantasy – a literal flat-earth (hence its name) balanced on the back of four titanic elephants in turn on the back of the cosmic turtle, Great A’Tuin. This world is the setting for a fantasy comedy series (spanning over 40 books and a similar number of years) which is a parody or satire of virtually every trope within fantasy and many outside it, as well as virtually every major work of fantasy – from Lovecraft through Conan to Tolkien and even the bard himself, Shakespeare.

Books in the series follow different story threads or characters within it – with my favorite being those that follow the cowardly ‘wizard’ Rincewind, “a wizard with no skill, no wizardly qualifications, and no interest in heroics”, ever since his role as the protagonist in the first two books (escorting the naïve tourist Twoflower and his Luggage). Sprawling in some degree through most of the books is the city of Ankh-Morpork (and its City Watch, the protagonists of their own story arc or thread of books within the series) – a city clearly influenced by Fritz Leiber’s Lankhmar, and like that city, a city which somehow survives despite itself.

RATING:
A-TIER (TOP TIER)

Top Tens – Fantasy & SF: Top 10 Fantasy Books (Special Mention: Classic) (7) L. Frank Baum – The Wonderful Wizard of Oz

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Cover art hardcover annotated centenniel edition W.W. Norton & Co 2010 (the edition I own)

 

 

(7) L. FRANK BAUM –

THE WONDERFUL WIZARD OF OZ (1900)

 

“I’ve got a feeling we’re not in Kansas anymore”

Better known these days from the 1939 cinematic adaptation – shortened to The Wizard of Oz – than from the original novel The Wonderful Wizard of Oz by L. Frank Baum, the story and its female protagonist Dorothy Gale remain iconic in modern fantasy.

Through Dorothy’s adventures with their vivid imagery and characters, not least the central trio of her companions in the original novel and cinematic adaptation – the Scarecrow, the Tinman, and the Cowardly Lion – the book and its protagonist Dorothy have remained rich sources of adaptations and allusions throughout popular culture.

Dorothy is fundamentally (mid-western) American, befitting the protagonist of what was intended as a modern American fairy tale. She’s a Kansas farm girl, although she subsequently becomes a princess of Oz and lives there, in the numerous sequels which lack the iconic status of the first book. She’s an orphan raised by her Aunt Em and Uncle Henry, with her equally iconic dog Toto. Famously, she and Toto are swept up in a tornado to the Land of Oz.

However, Dorothy is more iconic in popular culture through the 1939 cinematic adaptation (portrayed by Judy Garland) than her original novels. Her appearance was never set out in the books, so that her cinematic appearance has become iconic – although it did retain the literary description of her clothing as her trademark blue and white gingham dress. Otherwise, the film condensed the novel – but most significantly altered the ending, that it was all just a dream – unlike the original novel, where it was all definitely real.

 

RATING:

A-TIER (TOP TIER)

Top Tens – Fantasy: Top 10 Fantasy Books (Special Mention: Cult & Pulp) (6) Stephen King – Salem’s Lot

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Cover art 2013 Vintage edition

 

 

(6) STEPHEN KING –

SALEM’S LOT (1975)

 

Hail to the King! Stephen King, that is. One of the most iconic and prolific writers of our time. Lines and scenes from his work reverberate throughout popular culture, albeit particularly driven by cinematic or screen adaptations. His prose is vivid and visceral – indeed, the only books that have given me bad dreams, something which generally only occurs from the direct visualization of movies. In short, I am that Constant Reader to which King addresses his Author’s Notes.

As for which book to select for this entry, I considered It, a book that not only has its own individual mythos and is an important part of King’s overarching mythos, but also encapsulates and symbolizes King’s mythology. It traces its shapeshifting eldritch entity of evil in its favorite shape of Pennywise the Clown, as well as its lair and hunting ground, the town of Derry in Maine, and its opponents, the Losers’ Club through multiple and overlapping layers. However, I just can’t give it the spot for this entry because of its narrative missteps –and yes, I’m talking about THAT scene, which I prefer to mentally omit from the novel. There’s also The Talisman, written with Peter Straub – the closest King came to an epic fantasy in the style of The Lord of the Rings, across the United States as it overlaps with a multiverse.

Funnily enough, I went back to one of his first novels. I was tempted to choose his first novel, Carrie, but ultimately I went with King’s version of Dracula in Maine – Salem’s Lot.

 

RATING:
A-TIER (TOP TIER)

Top Tens – Film: Top 10 SF Horror Films

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Poster art for the 1979 Alien film with one of the most iconic SF horror film taglines – “In space no one can hear you scream.”

 

TOP 10 SF HORROR FILMS

 

As I said in my special mention entry for SF horror (including body horror and cosmic horror – if you were wondering where Alien or The Thing were in my Top 10 Horror Films, here they are!

My preferred horror films tend to be supernatural or SF horror, but I tend to rank the latter as SF rather than horror. The dividing line is partly my idiosyncratic opinion that the science fiction elements predominate in SF, such as where the sources of horror are aliens or time-travelling killer robots, but is also partly to preserve the SF entries in my Top 10 Fantasy and SF Films.

Alien, The Terminator, and The Thing are my holy trinity of SF horror but I rank all of them as entries in my Top 10 Fantasy & SF Films (indeed with Alien and The Terminator as my top two entries and The Thing in fourth place) – except here, where I also rank them as the top three entries in my Top 10 SF Horror Films.

So here they all are – my Top 10 SF Horror Films, in one of my shallow dips or top tens on the spot, although I’ll also note each entry as body horror or cosmic horror where applicable.

 

S-TIER (GOD TIER)

 

(1) ALIEN (1979): BODY HORROR & COSMIC HORROR

 

Alien was essentially haunted house horror IN SPACE, with a spaceship for a haunted house (neatly solving the so-called haunted house problem of why the protagonists simply don’t leave the house) and the titular xenomorph for the ghost. In a sense the whole franchise is this in one way or another, but the first is the most definitive as horror film.

Alien also illustrates the subgenres of body horror and cosmic horror that recur with SF horror, where the titular xenomorph is not just an alien invasion of our space but also an alien infection of our bodies.

 

(2) THE TERMINATOR (1984)

 

The Terminator was essentially robot slasher horror – okay, technically cyborg slasher horror.

 

A-TIER (TOP TIER)

 

(3) JOHN CARPENTER – THE THING (1982): BODY HORROR & COSMIC HORROR

 

The Thing is also another alien haunted house horror story, except with an Antarctic base as haunted house – with the haunted house problem posed by the onset of winter as well as by seeking to avoid the Thing infecting the outside world. It also takes the body horror and cosmic horror of Alien – and turns it all the way up to eleven, making the Xenomorph infection like a minor bug by comparison.

I’m also taking the opportunity to nominate director John Carpenter as one of my two leading SF horror directors

Which brings me to my next entry…

 

(4) DAVID CRONENBERG – THE FLY (1986): BODY HORROR

 

Yes, it’s a remake – but what an entry! Also representative of David Cronenberg, the other of my two leading SF horror directors – and whose work embodies (heh) body horror, so much so that Rick and Morty referenced it (as Cronenberging their world when they turn Earth into a population of body horror monstrosities).

 

B-TIER (HIGH TIER)

 

(5) INVASION OF THE BODY SNATCHERS (1978): BODY HORROR & COSMIC HORROR

 

Yes – the original was in 1956 (based on the 1954 novel by Jack Finney and symbolic of Cold War paranoia) but this is my favorite of the “franchise” – that is, the recurring adaptations or remakes – particularly for its downer ending (with that shriek).

A subtler example of body horror and cosmic horror than The Thing, but a similar embodiment of paranoia.

 

(6) TREMORS (1990)

 

Probably more people think of this film (and its franchise) as comedic SF action but there’s enough of a horror element for me to count it. I just can’t say no to giant deathworms!

 

(7)  THE FACULTY (1998): BODY & COSMIC HORROR

 

Fun spin on The Thing in a high school – including a fun spin on that blood sample test for the Thing. Much lighter on the body horror but still cosmic horror (and alien invasion!)

 

(8) SLITHER (2006): BODY & COSMIC HORROR

 

James Gunn does an SF horror alien invasion – with doses of body and cosmic horror (as well as shades of The Thing).

 

(9) CLOVERFIELD / 10 CLOVERFIELD LANE (2008-2016): BODY HORROR & COSMIC HORROR

 

I’m counting these as the same franchise for production rather than plot – the first is updated alien kaiju horror, the second is survival horror with one hell of a twist at the end. Touches of cosmic horror in both and body horror in the first (from the kaiju’s parasites)

 

(10) A QUIET PLACE (2018-2024): COSMIC HORROR

 

Shhh – essentially alien slasher horror stalking by sound. Also cosmic horror.

 

SPECIAL MENTION:

 

Yes – that’s right, it’s special mentions within a top ten that is itself something of a special mention in my Top 10 Horror Films!

But it fits for those entries from my Top 10 Fantasy & SF Films (or special mentions), which while they are not quite horror, are adjacent to (or could be adapted to horror)

 

(1) MAD MAX

 

Yes – the whole franchise.

And yes – the Mad Max franchise is not horror but it’s not too far removed from post-apocalyptic slasher horror either, sort of like The Hills Have Eyes franchise, with the same sort of mutant body horror thrown in.

 

(2) THE MATRIX

 

Again – not horror but not too far removed from the robot slasher horror of the Terminator, or touches of body horror (and existential horror, if not quite cosmic horror) of its premise of humanity being farmed.

 

HONORABLE MENTION:

 

And rounding up honorable mention for those SF horror films that didn’t make the top ten, ranked in chronological order of year of release.

 

(2017) LIFE

 

Ah, Calvin – you rubbery rascal. Essentially another alien haunted house horror story IN SPACE – somewhat derivative but it gets stuck in your mind, a little like Calvin himself…

Top Tens – Mythology: Top 10 Mythologies (Special Mention: Equal Rites Rankings)

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Afterlife (Egyptian Mythology) – free divine gallery sample art from OldWorldGods (cropped to its goddess figure)

 

 

She is the goddess and this is her mythology.

I have my Top 10 Mythologies but how do they rank against each other in equal rites? That is, ranked by their goddesses – or more precisely the prominence or significance of goddesses or female figures in their pantheon as compared to those of gods or male figures.

Perhaps on a sliding scale from goddesses gone wild to divine sausage party…

And yes – not surprisingly, their equal rites rankings have some big changes from their general top ten mythology rankings, not least in a big drop in the top spot.

 

 

S-TIER (GODDESS TIER)

 

(1) HINDU – SHAKTI

 

In equal rites rankings, Hindu mythology is its own goddess tier within goddess tier, because one of its major denominations goes beyond mere goddess equality to goddess supremacy – and that is Shaktism.

Most people might think of the male trinity of Brahma, Vishnu and Shiva when it comes to Hinduism, but Shaktism is all about Shakti – the eternal feminine as the supreme cosmic power or principle.

Or even everything that is – “Shaktism is a major Hindu denomination in which the metaphysical reality or the deity is considered metaphorically to be a woman…the divine feminine energy, Shakti, is revered as the supreme power and is symbolized as the Mahadevi (Great Goddess), who manifests in numerous forms, with each form having distinct functions and unique attributes.”

Even beyond Shaktism, there’s the abundance of goddesses and divine female figures in Hindu mythology, not least the consorts of the gods.

 

(2) CLASSICAL – APHRODITE VENUS

 

Classical mythology has a prolific number of goddesses and divine (or semi-divine) female figures, with the twelve Olympians evenly divided between gods and goddesses – at least until Dionysus substituted for Hestia.

Classical mythology seems to stop short of a supreme divine female figure, yet there are hints or at least revisionist interpretations of the original or ultimate predominance of its goddesses or divine female figures, with perhaps the most famous of the latter being that of Robert Graves.

Whatever the truth of such hints or interpretations, classical mythology has to rank in goddess-tier if only for both the prolific number of its female figures and their enduring iconic nature, foremost among them Aphrodite or Venus.

And I’m in it for the nymphs, with classical mythology’s recurring tendency to populate virtually every geographic and natural feature with a hot nymph. Now that’s equal rites!

Also…Amazons!

 

(3) EGYPTIAN – ISIS

 

Egyptian mythology not only has a prolific number of goddesses (and semi-divine pharaonic figures) but also some of the most iconic depictions of them in any mythology, thanks to the recurring fascination with ancient Egyptian art and stylistic imagery.

However, one goddess stands supreme above the rest and that is Isis – so much so that she came closest of any divine female figure to becoming a universal or even monotheistic Goddess during the Roman Empire.

 

(4) MIDDLE EASTERN (BABYLO-SUMERIAN) – ISHTAR

 

Middle Eastern mythology earns its ranking from one goddess but what a goddess – Babylonian Ishtar or Sumerian Inanna.

Queen of Heaven, goddess of love and war – who influenced or inspired recurring similar goddesses or female figures throughout the ancient Middle East and beyond to the Roman Empire.

 

A-TIER (TOP TIER)

 

(5) NORSE – FREYA

 

While Norse mythology leans heavily into its warrior male ethos for its theos, it does have its strong female figures that are among the best known of mythology – Freya foremost of course but also goddesses such as Idun and Sif.

Also…Valkyries!

 

(6) CELTIC (ARTHURIAN) – LADY OF THE LAKE & MORGAN LE FAY

 

Celtic mythology may rival even Hindu mythology for the equal rites of its goddesses, perhaps even a supreme goddess – particularly in more matriarchal interpretations of it such as the Slaine comic by Pat Mills.

Arthurian legend seems less so for the equal rites of its maidens as against its knights – or its king. That said, it has some of the most distinctive female figures in Western culture – of which I’ve picked out the two closest to divine or semi-divine female figures, the Lady of the Lake and Morgan la Fay.

There’s arguably something of a cottage industry in revisions of Arthurian legend focusing on its female figures

 

B-TIER (HIGH TIER)

 

(7) NATIVE AMERICAN (LAKOTA)

 

Lakota mythology may not have many divine female figures, but it makes up for that (and earns high-tier ranking) with a messianic female figure – White Buffalo Calf Woman.

 

(8) AFRO-AMERICAN (VOODOO)

 

Voodoo and Afro-American mythologies certainly have their divine female figures which seem to be in reasonable balance with its male ones, not least the voodoo “love goddess” (or love loa), Erzulie Freda Dahomey, but perhaps the most prominent female figure in voodoo, divine or otherwise, is the historical voodoo queen of New Orleans, Marie Laveau.

 

(9) MESO-AMERICAN (AZTEC)

 

While the male deities tended to steal the sacrificial limelight, Aztec mythology does have its goddesses – like its love goddess Xochiquetzal – although they lack the same name recognition as their male counterparts.

 

 

X-TIER (WILD TIER)

 

(10) BIBLICAL

 

“Where the apple redden,

Never pry –

Lest we lose our Edens,

Eve and I.”

 

There’s really no other equal rites ranking for Biblical mythology except in wild tier ranking.

On the one hand, you’d think it’s the incarnation of the divine sausage party I quipped about, with its masculine monotheism even with the Trinity, unless you throw in Mary as well. Even with the Biblical heroes or prophets, you’re not doing too much better – with its literal patriarchs.

And yet…

There’s Mary but there’s also a prolific number of female figures that are among the most famous or iconic female figures in mythology. Admittedly, they’re not divine female figures.

Or are they? There are hints or at least revisionist interpretations of divine female figures – even goddesses or the divine feminine nature of God – to be found in the Bible and its female characters.