Top Tens – Poetry: Top 10 Poetry (Honorable Mention): (1681) Andrew Marvell – To His Coy Mistress

Portrait of Andrew Marvell by unknown artist in 1655 – Wikipedia “Andrew Marvell”, public domain

 

 

(1681) ANDREW MARVELL – TO HIS COY MISTRESS

 

“Had we had but world enough and time

This coyness, Lady, were no crime”

 

Carpe diem as a pick-up line to get in her pants.

No, seriously, that’s the poem – and why I like it.

That and the worms that makes it a favorite among adolescent students everywhere –

 

“then Worms shall try

That long preserv’d Virginity”

 

Like John Donne, Andrew Marvell is another surprisingly raunchy 17th-century ‘metaphysical’ poet.

Ultimately, he’s something of a one-poem wonder for his most famous and celebrated poem “To His Coy Mistress” – but what a poem! In the word of TV Tropes, it “is pretty much the trope codifier for the more philosophical sort of seduction lyric and contains a bunch of phrases that are hugely quotable, forever appearing in titles and epigraphs”. That seduction lyric is the persuasion of the speaker’s prospective lover by means of a carpe diem philosophy – or YOLO in modern internet slang. Seize the day, baby.

It’s also a popular poem in schools – well, as popular as poems get in schools – where it certainly is fertile ground for lowbrow humor for perpetually adolescent minds like mine. There’s the two hundred years the poet would spend on each of his lover’s breasts, if only they did have eternity. Not to mention, the ages he would devote to every other part, which prompts thoughts of an ass age – heh

And of course there’s the worms (“Can we do the one with the worms again, Miss?” – actual quote reported by teacher).

All lowbrow locker room humor aside, there is something powerfully evocative in Marvell’s vibrant imagery and command of rhyming couplets, particularly in the last stanza where the speaker urges the woman to seize life by the, well, horns.

 

“Let us roll all our Strength, and all

Our sweetness, up into one Ball:

And tear our Pleasures with rough strife,

Thorough the Iron gates of Life.

Thus, though we cannot make our Sun

Stand still, yet we will make him run.”

Top Tens – Mythology: Top 10 Mythologies (Complete & Revamped)

Afterlife (Egyptian Mythology) – free divine gallery sample art from OldWorldGods

 

 

I don’t have a religion – I have a mythology.

Indeed, I have a top ten of them. As much as I enjoy mythology, not all mythologies are equal. Arguably not even the same mythology, as like the proverbial river of Heraclitus, you cannot step into the same mythology twice, as it is constantly evolving, with many variants, often inconsistent with each other. Some mythologies just resonate better with me than others.

Hence this is my top ten ranking of mythology – or perhaps top ten mythologies? Mythos – or mythoi? My myths and sacred mysteries? Whatever. They are not ranked by the extent to which they still form part of an active religion, their duration or number of adherents, or by their cultural impact or influence, but by my personal interest in them – although this tends to overlap with one or more of the previous criteria, particularly my top two entries, which are the standouts both to me and for Western culture in general.

Just some further notes – I have some ratings within each entry:

 

SACRED SPACES & CHTHONIC BLUES

 

Rating mythologies by their mythic worlds within and beyond our own, particularly that most common chthonic denominator – their underworlds (and afterlifes in general).

 

APOCALYPSE HOW

 

Rating mythologies by their apocalypses – that is, their eschatology to use the technical term, or their apocalyptic myths of “the end of the present age, human history, or the world itself”. No prizes for guessing the mythology in the top apocalyptic spot – that provides its own title of apocalypse to this rating. Ironically, apocalypses also tend to include positive or redemptive transformation – the millennium, whether of millennialism or millenarianism, or what Tolkien dubbed the eucatastrophe.

 

EQUAL RITES

 

Rating mythologies by their goddesses – or more precisely the importance or significance of goddesses or female figures as compared to those of gods or male figures within their pantheon. Perhaps on a sliding scale from goddesses gone wild to a divine sausage party?

 

DIVINE COMEDY

 

Rating mythologies by how much they lend themselves to divine comedy, particularly comic or trickster figures.

 

TWILIGHT OF THE GODS

 

No, not a repetition of rating mythologies by their apocalypses but more metaphorically in terms of their decline or persistence, particularly as actual or active religious belief, whether in duration or number of adherents,  but also in their enduring cultural impact or influence.

 

So that said, these are my Top 10 Mythologies. You know the rules – this is one of my deep dive top tens, counting down from tenth to first place and looking at individual entries in some depth or detail of themselves.

But wait – there’s more! The subject is prolific enough for my usual twenty special mentions per top ten and for honorable mentions beyond that.

Finally, note on the visual images used in this top ten. Given the copyright in visual images, I use visual images of one of the three following types to avoid infringing copyright – images from the public domain or free images, images licensed for use with attribution, and images as fair use for the purposes of comment, criticism, reaction or review.

 

 

A-TIER (TOP TIER)

 

 

Free ‘divine gallery’ sample art – OldWorldGods

 

 

(10) AFRO-AMERICAN – VOODOO

 

Perhaps the newest entry in my top ten, as well as a mythology that is part of an active religion – or more broadly the family of Afro-American or African diaspora religions.

While I find it fascinating, it is a mythology or mythologies of which I only have superficial knowledge – and perhaps like popular culture, I am most familiar with the Louisiana variant actually titled voodoo and the Haitian variant that is titled vodou.

For Louisiana voodoo, it is primarily the ritual or magical practices that are associated with voodoo in popular culture or ‘Hollywood voodoo’ – charms or amulets such as voodoo dolls, ‘gris gris’ bags and of course mojo. O yes – and voodoo queens, such as Marie Laveau. I also find it intriguing how early followers of voodoo as slaves disguised their traditional gods as Catholic saints in a form of subversive syncretism.

For Haitian vodou, it is the divine entities, the loa or ‘divine horsemen’ that possess their followers – particularly the distinctive trinity of Papa Legba, Erzulie, and of course Baron Samedi, not least from his cinematic incarnation in the James Bond film, Live and Let Die. Again, I find it intriguing that the loa go by many names, which represent different personalities or traits – with the two most significant being the more positive ‘Rada’ form and the darker ‘Petro’ form, the latter representing the angry dark side of the loa, usually linked to the dark side of slavery in the Afro-American historical experience.

 

SACRED SPACES & CHTHONIC BLUES

 

To be honest, I don’t know too much about the mythic worlds of Afro-American mythologies or voodoo within and beyond our own. I was not surprised to learn upon looking it up that there is a realm of ancestral spirits – but I was surprised to learn that Haitian vodou does have its holy sites of pilgrimage that overlap with Christian sites in Haiti.

 

APOCALYPSE HOW

 

I don’t know too much about any apocalyptic myths of Afro-American mythologies – apart from Rastafarianism – but they strike me as post-apocalyptic mythology, in this case the apocalypse of slavery and the slave trade. Haiti seems locked into a permanent post-apocalyptic state.

 

EQUAL RITES

 

Voodoo and Afro-American mythologies certainly have their divine female figures which seem to be in reasonable balance with its male ones – with perhaps the most prominent figure in voodoo as female, Marie Laveau.

 

DIVINE COMEDY

 

The loa seem to enjoy humor, often of a crude nature.

 

TWILIGHT OF THE GODS

 

One of the most notable mythologies in my top ten persisting in religious belief as well as in cultural influence. The African diaspora religions may well rank among the major world religions in number of adherents but it is difficult to tell since those adherents are often disguised or hidden within Christianity.

 

RATING:
A-TIER (TOP TIER)

 

 

Free ‘divine gallery’ sample art from OldWorldGods

 

(9) NATIVE AMERICAN – LAKOTA

 

“The Great Spirit has given to you a red day and a red road” – Black Elk

A mythology that is part of an active religion – or mythologies and religions, as native American mythology at its broadest can be very broad indeed. The description of native American mythology can extend to mythology throughout the pre-Columbian Americas. Even if we confine ourselves to the geographic northern continent, that still is incredibly diverse – including the more lurid central American or meso-American mythologies, of which the most famous appears in the next entry in my top ten.

This entry is intended to be representative of the native American mythologies in the area of the present United States. Of course, this remains as diverse as the people themselves in this area, but if I have to nominate any in particular, it would be those of the Great Plains in general or the Lakota (or Sioux) in particular.

This is because of my familiarity with Lakota ‘holy man’ Black Elk, through his own words as narrated in Black Elk Speaks (narrated to John Neihardt) and through the apparent focus his work gave to Huston Smith in the latter’s study of primal religions. I have a particular soft spot for Wakan Tanka, the overarching Great Mysterious that resides in everything – also the Ghost Dance.

 

SACRED SPACE & CHTHONIC BLUES

 

I don’t know much about the mythic worlds of Native American mythology other than references to their belief in an afterlife in the happy hunting ground that is attributed to them, although that probably originated in the British settlers interpreting their description – apparently the phrase first appeared “in 1823 in The Pioneers by James Fenimore Cooper”.

 

APOCALYPSE HOW

 

Lakota mythology indeed has its apocalypse and one of the most famous at that, albeit it may have been influenced by Christian millenarianism (and was strangely parallel to the contemporaneous millenarianism of the Boxer Rebellion) – the Ghost Dance. While it certainly was to be an apocalypse for the United States, it was more in the nature of a positive millenarian transformation or eucatastrophe for the Lakota.

 

EQUAL RITES

 

Lakota mythology has at least one messianic female figure – White Buffalo Calf Woman.

 

DIVINE COMEDY

 

More broadly, Native American mythologies have quite the divine comedy of recurring trickster figures – Coyote and Raven.

 

TWILIGHT OF THE GODS

 

Another mythology in my top ten that persists in religious belief among Native Americans – and in cultural impact beyond that. Indeed, enough so that Huston Smith included a chapter on the primal religions among major religions in his book The World’s Religions – and with the Lakota religion featuring prominently.

 

RATING:
A-TIER (TOP TIER)

 

Free ‘divine gallery’ sample art – OldWorldGods

 

(8) MESO-AMERICAN – AZTEC

 

I can’t resist featuring Aztec mythology through the lens of its lurid image in popular culture – that is to say, the closest mythology comes to a horror film or the Cthulhu mythos, both of itself and of its ritual practice of human sacrifice. Yes – I know that is unfair to the nuances of Aztec mythology, particularly in the context of just how horrific other mythologies can be. I mean – have you read the Bible? Some of that stuff’s straight out of slasher horror.

However, it is hard to resist seeing Aztec mythology as horror film mythology. For one thing, there’s its deities with their tongue-twisting Scrabble-winning names. The messianic plumed serpent Quetzalcoatl might be one of the few good guys and I have always have a soft spot for love goddesses like Xochiquetzal, but then you have gods like Xipe Totec, the flayed god – whose priests would flay the skin from a sacrificial victim and dance around for days wearing it. Although admittedly I’d go to church to see that.

For another thing, you have its ritual practice, infamous for human sacrifice on a grand scale – with the archetypal image of hearts being torn beating from the chests of thousands of victims on stepped pyramids slippery with blood on sacrificial days.

And finally for yet another thing, there’s that Aztec mythology is a post-apocalyptic mythology – with the present world being the fifth such world, after the apocalyptic destruction of four previous worlds. Indeed, one might even call it a zombie apocalyptic mythology – with the gods continuously, to the point of constantly dying and returning to life, giving their blood and their hearts to power the sun (fuelled in turn by the literal blood and hearts of human sacrifice), while they literally grew humans from bones smuggled out of the underworld. Or one of many underworlds, since the Aztecs had nine levels of its underworld (and thirteen heavens).

Also, I sometimes like to joke my middle initial Q stands for Quetzalcoatl.

 

SACRED SPACES & CHTHONIC BLUES

 

One of the most chthonic mythologies, since the Aztecs had those nine levels of its underworld known as Mictlan. Although it sometimes seems hard to distinguish the Aztec underworld from the Aztec world, what with those pyramids slippery with blood and hearts from human sacrifice.

 

APOCALYPSE HOW

 

And how!

As I said, Aztec mythology is a post-apocalyptic mythology – or post-post-post-post-apocalyptic mythology, with the present world being the fifth such world, after the apocalyptic destruction of four previous worlds. Or indeed, a zombie apocalyptic mythology – with the gods continuously, to the point of constantly dying and returning to life, giving their blood and their hearts to power the sun (fuelled in turn by the literal blood and hearts of human sacrifice)

 

EQUAL RITES

 

While the male deities tended to steal the sacrificial limelight, Aztec mythology had its share of goddesses – like its love goddess Xochiquetzal.

 

DIVINE COMEDY

 

Well, perhaps comedy horror along the lines of the Evil Dead franchise – or splatterpunk

 

TWILIGHT OF THE GODS

 

Yes and no – although in fairness you can’t say the Aztec gods faded away into twilight but were burnt out thrashing and screaming by the Spanish conquest.

Although I suspect that Meso-American religious belief persisted whether absorbed into Catholicism (in the style of classical or Roman paganism absorbed by the early Church), disguised or hidden within it (in the style of the Afro-American religions), or just existing parallel or juxtaposed to it – and the cultural influence or impact of Aztec mythology would seem to have persisted well beyond any religious belief.

 

RATING:
A-TIER (TOP TIER)

 

Ganesha – free ‘divine gallery’ art sample from OldWorldGods

 

 

(7) HINDU

 

Another mythology as part of an active religion – indeed, the third largest religion, although it might be more accurately described as mythologies or religions, given the diversity of Hinduism.

It is perhaps the most cheerfully and flamboyantly polytheistic of modern religions, with all its gods and their avatars, although Hinduism itself can be polytheistic, pantheistic, panentheistic, pandeistic, henotheistic, monotheistic, monistic, agnostic, atheistic or humanist – depending on how philosophical one is towards it.

The classifications vary, but modern Hinduism is often classified into four major denominations by primary deity – Vaishnavism by Vishnu (or his avatars, often Krisha or Rama), Shaivism by Shiva, Shaktism by Devi (or manifestations of the supreme goddess) or Smartism by a combination of five deities. Of which I obviously prefer Shaktism for worship of the goddess – she is the goddess and this is her body, o yes!

However, it is a mythology or mythologies of which I have only the most basic knowledge – primarily of their literally colorful deities with all their arms, avatars and trinities. The trinity of Brahma the creator, Vishnu the preserver and Shiva the destroyer. The supreme goddess Devi or Shakti in all her forms and trinities – most commonly Saraswati, Laskshmi and Parvati, with Kali perhaps as the most distinctive form of Parvati known outside Hinduism. And of course Ganesha, because I have a soft spot for animal-headed deities.

 

SACRED SPACE & CHTHONIC BLUES

 

Hindu mythology has its sacred spaces and mythic worlds, including a number that would be described as hells or underworlds but without widespread name recognition beyond Hinduism. For that matter, the heavens and hells of Hinduism seem somewhat abstract – and the world itself seems mythic in Hindu mythology, with the world as “maya” or illusion (personified as the goddess Durga).

 

Or “lila” – a way of describing all reality, including the cosmos, as divine play.

 

APOCALYPSE HOW

 

Hindu mythology has its apocalypse as part of its cyclical cosmology – and again one of the most famous, the Kali Yuga, “the fourth, shortest, and worst of the four yugas” or world ages, ending in cosmic cataclysm and rebirth.

 

EQUAL RITES

 

Hindu mythology ranks highly for equal rites. One of the major denominations within Hinduism is Shaktism, based around Shakti, the divine feminine as supreme principle or power and symbolized as the Mahadevi or Great Goddess.

 

DIVINE COMEDY

 

A mythology that alternatively proposes reality as maya or illusion, and lila or divine play, is clearly one that features divine comedy and trickster figures.

 

TWILIGHT OF THE GODS

 

My top ten mythology entry that is going strongest against the twilight of its gods, not just in its ongoing cultural impact and influence but its continuity as a major religion – indeed as the worlds’ third largest religion, with approximately 1.2 billion followers.

 

RATING
A-TIER (TOP TIER)

 

Ereshkigal – free ‘divine gallery’ art sample from OldWorldGods

 

 

(6) MIDDLE EASTERN – BABYLO-SUMERIAN

 

Dare I say it – the ur-mythology!

The mythology, that is, of the long-standing and predominant civilization in the ancient Middle East that shaped so much of their successors in civilization and mythology, particularly the states of Mesopotamia.

By the states of Mesopotamia, I am referring to the fluctuating city-states or states collectively best known to history as Sumer and Babylon, with the latter’s imperial franchise having at least one reboot as the neo-Babylonian empire. That also includes the other empires that bubbled up from that area such as the Akkadian empire and Assyrian empire (which also rebooted itself as neo-Assyrian empire). The political history is long and messy, although much of the mythology or religion stays the same, albeit with different names – what might be called the classical mythology of the region, which I’ll dub Babylo-Sumerian. Yes I know Sumer preceded Babylon, but Babylo-Sumerian just sounds better.

Indeed, this entry is intended to be representative of ancient Middle Eastern mythologies in general, including the various so-called Canaanite mythologies which we mostly know as the bad guys in the Bible (although the Assyrians and Babylonians also feature prominently as bad guys there, particularly the latter)

But to return to the selection of Sumerian and Babylonian mythology for this entry. Yes – it’s not quite as funky as a certain other neighboring mythology with its animal-headed gods, but it does have some interesting features – two in particular. The first is the epic of Gilgamesh and his quest for eternal life, notable as the first epic of a mythic hero in writing. The second is the slinky goddess to rival other slinky goddesses in mythology – Ishtar, Babylonian goddess of love and war (or her Sumerian counterpart Inanna) and her most famous myth, her epic strip-teasing descent into the underworld.

There are also other features of interest – various other deities (Marduk in our feature image for example), Tiamat the primordial goddess-dragon of chaos (best known to Dungeons and Dragons players as a supreme evil dragon goddess) and various stories recycled in the Bible, notably the Flood (and the Sumerian Noah, Utnapishtim, who features in the epic of Gilgamesh).

Oh – and a certain god who became the demon antagonist of The Exorcist film, which I know better than to name here (or anywhere) because that’s just tempting fate.

 

SACRED SPACE & CHTHONIC BLUES

 

When the concept and very word of paradise itself originates from the ancient Middle East – Persia in particular – then you know its mythology ranks highly for sacred spaces and mythic worlds, even more so for its enduring influence for the paradises and underworlds of other mythologies.

Speaking of underworlds, the Mesopotamian underworld was equally as influential as Persian paradise, not least for the descent of Inanna or Ishtar into it.

 

APOCALYPSE HOW

 

Middle Eastern mythology – particularly Persian mythology – had an apocalypse, the final triumph of the supreme good divine being Ahura Mazda over the evil destructive divine force Angra Mainyu, that was highly influential on the apocalypse of other mythologies, especially my top mythology.

 

EQUAL RITES

 

Middle Eastern mythology seems mostly masculine with one fundamental exception – Inanna or Ishtar, a divine female figure that influenced or inspired similar divine female figures throughout the ancient Middle East and beyond, extending to my two top entries.

 

DIVINE COMEDY

 

There’s some divine comedy or tricksters but Middle Eastern mythology seems mostly serious.

 

TWILIGHT OF THE GODS

 

Sadly, we’ve now moved to a mythology or mythologies which mostly faded away in the twilight of their gods, but for their cultural impact or influence, mostly on other mythologies.

 

RATING:
A-TIER (TOP TIER)

 

Free ‘divine gallery’ art sample – OldWorldGods

 

 

(5) EGYPTIAN

 

“I am a cowboy in the boat of Ra…
“Who was that
dog-faced man? they asked, the day I rode
from town”…
Go get my eyelids of red paint.
Hand me my shadow
I’m going into town after Set”

One of two things I lament about Christianity is the decline of the Egyptian pantheon. If only the Roman Empire could have gone the way of the ankh instead of the cross. Or if only the Egyptian gods had returned out of the desert, as opposed to Islam and swept Christianity out of Egypt!

What’s not to love about those funky animal-headed gods and those slinky goddesses? Especially the goddesses – lithe and svelte in their form-fitting dresses, with their golden skin and painted eyes, they would not look out of place as supermodels on a modern catwalk. Of course, Egypt was, quite frankly, the s€xiest ancient civilization – admittedly perhaps not for its population’s vast majority of peasants who farmed the Nile or worked on those useless tombstones known as pyramids, but certainly for its elite, who pretty much invented style. You know it’s true – just look at the figures in their art!

Or what’s not to love how the gods kept shifting and swapping out with each other as they rose and fell within the pantheon? My personal favorite trinity of Egyptian mythology (well apart from Anubis, one of my favorite dog gods of mythology) – Osiris, Isis and Horus as they square off against their adversary Set. O yes – Isis. Goddess of magic who seduced the secret name from the sun god Ra and lover of Osiris who resurrected him after he was dismembered by his evil adversary Set to conceive the divine hero Horus (who then avenges Osiris)

Or what’s not to love about its different and contradictory creation myths? Particularly the one where the god Atum (who swapped out as supreme god from time to time) created the world by, ahem, mastrbating it into existence. Now that’s creationism! Indeed, Egyptian mythology could get downright kinky. Isis essentially s€xes up all her magic, including that briefly reviving Osiris to conceive Horus. Or how Set and Horus essentially strive to, ahem, out-ejculate each other…

 

SACRED SPACE & CHTHONIC BLUES

 

Egyptian mythology may well be the most chthonic of mythologies – albeit not so much in the name recognition of its underworld (Duat) and more in terms of the afterlife in general. Indeed, ancient Egypt almost seems a necropolis, with its religion and ritual predominated by preparation for the afterlife – and its monumental statues or architecture as portals to it, such that Egypt itself appears as its own sacred space.

 

APOCALYPSE HOW

 

Somewhat surprisingly for its focus on the afterlife, Egyptian mythology is somewhat devoid of any apocalypse to popular recognition, although it did have its cosmic battles between good and evil.

However, like voodoo and meso-American mythology, I sometimes tend to see ancient Egypt itself as post-apocalyptic in mindset – a civilization huddled around the Nile with the apocalypse of the desert surrounding it on all sides. And while the Nile was reliably fertile, when it did fail it could be apocalyptic – those Biblical plagues had some basis in the historical reality of how apocalyptic it could get.

 

EQUAL RITES

 

Perhaps not quite as highly as Hindu mythology, Egyptian mythology does rank highly for equal rites in the prominence of its divine female figures (and pharaonic figures) – with Isis in particular, so much so that she came closest of any divine female figure to becoming a universal monotheistic Goddess during the Roman Empire (and was a major inspiration for the veneration of Mary within Christianity).

 

DIVINE COMEDY

 

There would seem to be little room for the laughter of the gods in a mythology between the desert and the deep blue sea, but surprisingly Egyptian mythology does come to the party with some divine comedy, albeit some of it would seem unintentional and more to modern readers – as well as working blue. There’s the creation myth, admittedly one of many, of a god literally mast*rbating the cosmos into existence – or of the sacred scarab or dung beetle rolling the sun like dung. And the less said about Horus’s special sauce in his salad dressing the better, although I presume that must have been intended as a dirty joke.

 

TWILIGHT OF THE GODS

 

Sadly, one of the mythologies where the divine figures have mostly faded away in the twilight of the gods, apart from their tiny revival within neo-paganism – although they remain far more within popular imagination (and name recognition) as compared to other ancient Middle Eastern mythologies, mainly due to the enduring fascination with their visual depiction within Egyptian art and sculpture.

 

RATING:
A-TIER (TOP-TIER)

 

Nigel Terry as King Arthur in the 1981 film “Excalibur”, directed by John Boorman – King Arthur in the 1981 film Excalibur – still the best cinematic adaptation of Arthurian legend

 

 

(4) CELTIC – ARTHURIAN

 

For mine is the grail quest –
round table & siege perilous
fisher king & waste land
bleeding lance & dolorous stroke
adventurous bed & questing beast

This entry is essentially for the whole of Celtic mythology in all its diversity, reflecting the diversity of the Celts themselves. The Celts extended through time, from at least the sixth century BCE through various survivals to the present day, and even more substantially through geographical space – from their original homeland in central Europe throughout Europe, most notably to the British isles. The Celts even extended into modern Turkey (where they were known as Galatians) and perhaps most famously as the Gauls threatening Rome in its infancy (before being conquered by Rome in turn).

And I find all Celtic mythology fascinating.

The mythology of Gaul – which I particularly know from the gods invoked in Asterix comics by Toutatis! – is mostly from surviving names and images, cited by Roman writers inclined to “transmit any bizarre and negative” information about the people they conquered.

The Wicker Man. Druids. The mysterious horned god Cernunnos and other Gallic gods or goddesses.

Of course, the Celtic mythology that survived most in literary form (mostly as recorded by Christian monks) were for those Celts who maintained their identities – in Brittany or coastal France, in Britain and above all in Ireland with its various mythological cycles. The Tuatha de Danann or the gods of Ireland. The Ulster Cycle and its great hero Cu Chulainn. The Fenian Cycle as well as its great hero Fionn Mac Cumhaill (sometimes awesomely translated as Finn McCool) and his Fianna warrior band. And the Cycle of Kings of historical legend. Much of this mythology in Ireland, Britain and elsewhere was recycled into the fairy folklore of Europe.

However, if I’m to pick the one strand of Celtic mythology that is foremost in familiarity and fascination for me, it’s that strand that moved through to folklore and above all to historical legend – the legend of King Arthur, as part of the so-called Matter of Britain or legendary history of the Kings of Britain.

Arthur Pendragon himself, the once and future king. His father Uther. The wizard Merlin. The Lady in the Lake. The sword in the stone or Excalibur. His queen Guinevere. The enchantress Morgan Le Fay (often conflated with another character, Morgause, as the mother of usurper Mordred). The knights of the Round Table – most famously Lancelot but also Gawain, Galahad, Perceval and Bedivere. The Holy Grail. Avalon – and so on.

And of course its ongoing adaptations – which essentially started from its very inception with medieval literature – including its cinematic adaptations, of which two films remain my favorite, Excalibur, and Monty Python and The Holy Grail (which funnily enough still remains one of the most faithful adaptations to Arthurian legend).

 

SACRED SPACE & CHTHONIC BLUES

 

Now we’re getting to the big guns of mythology, particularly when it comes to sacred space or mythic worlds. The Celtic Otherworld is perhaps one of the best known and most definitive concepts of the otherworld in mythology – that realm of the deities or the dead, often overlapping, although the Celtic Otherworld “is more usually described as paradisal fairyland than a frightening place”, more fey than infernal.

The Otherworld looms large in Arthurian legend in various guises – a recurring numinous presence depicted well in the film Excalibur. One guise is as Fairyland but perhaps even more so as that mystical place with some of the highest name recognition among mythic worlds – Avalon, which overlaps with the underworld as King Arthur’s final resting place.

Celtic mythology in general and Arthurian legend in particular also has their distinctive mythic geography in our world, particularly in Britain with its historical sites as identified with locations in myth or legend.

 

APOCALYPSE HOW

 

Arthurian legend has its apocalyptic battle between good and evil, indeed one of the better known ones at that – the Battle of Camlann, the legendary final battle between Arthur and his son Mordred as usurper. Like another apocalypse of a mythology in a higher place to come in this top ten, it ends not so much in triumph but mutually assured destruction, after which the old world fades away with the birth of a new – although one of more popular legend in Arthurian legend is that Arthur remains as sleeper under the hill with his knights, awaiting England’s greatest hour of need to rise again and do battle against its enemies.

 

EQUAL RITES

 

While Celtic mythology may rival even Hindu mythology for the equal rites of its goddesses, particularly in more matriarchal interpretations of it, Arthurian legend seems less so for the equal rites of its maidens as against its knights and above all its king as central figure.

That said, it has some of the most distinctive female figures in Western culture – foremost among them Morgan Le Fay and Guinevere but also Elaine (or more precisely a number of figures named Elaine), Igraine as Arthur’s mother, Morgause (often conflated with Morgan Le Fay), Iseult, the Lady of the Lake, Nimue, and the Nine Sorceresses. So much so that there’s arguably something of a cottage industry in revisions of Arthurian legend focusing on them, with the foremost example as The Mists of Avalon by Marion Zimmer Bradley.

 

DIVINE COMEDY

 

While Arthurian legend might seem very earnest, it has quite the comedic streak to it, often linked to the Otherworld or Fairyland.

 

TWILIGHT OF THE GODS

 

Not quite the twilight of the gods but not far from it, as the figures of Arthurian legend fade away after the Battle of Camlann, although they have remained as vivid presences in Western culture ever since.

 

RATING:
A-TIER (TOP TIER)

 

Chris Hemsworth as Thor in the 2013 Marvel film “Thor: The Dark World” – not the most accurate cinematic adaptation of Norse mythology but perhaps the most popular (via the characters in Marvel comics)

 

 

(3) NORSE

 

“We come from the land of the ice and snow
From the midnight sun where the hot springs flow
The hammer of the gods
Will drive our ships to new lands
To fight the horde, sing and cry
Valhalla, I am coming”

And now we come to a mythology that is one of the best known, even outside its European continent of origin, thanks to Thor in the Marvel Cinematic Universe and the days of the week still named in English for the Norse gods. It is also arguably one of the most hardcore mythologies, with imagery worthy of a metal album cover.

I mean, what else can you say of a mythology that features a ship made entirely of fingernails and toenails (of the dead)? Or its creation myth, in which the world was created from the corpse of a giant. No fluffy let there be light here. Or that the gods are essentially locked into a perpetual cold war (heh) against the giants – complicated by the trickster Loki in their presence, who alternates between getting them into compromising or difficult situations before getting them out of those situations (until he goes one trick too far). And like the historical cold war, the gods are planning for mutually assured destruction – famously gathering slain warriors in Valhalla – when the war turns hot at the end of the world. Or rather, when it turns ice cold at Ragnarok – or Gotterdamerung, the twilight of the gods (in the Fimbulwinter or endless winter).

Of course, Norse is something of a misnomer, as it was a Germanic or Scandinavian mythology that extended throughout much of northern Europe, although it is most identified with Norway and Iceland (and Vikings!) – also the source of its surviving texts

“The source texts mention numerous gods, such as the hammer-wielding, humanity-protecting thunder-god Thor, who relentlessly fights his foes; the one-eyed, raven-flanked god Odin, who craftily pursues knowledge throughout the worlds and bestowed among humanity the runic alphabet; the beautiful, seer-working, feathered cloak-clad goddess Freyja who rides to battle to choose among the slain; the vengeful, skiing goddess Skadi, who prefers the wolf howls of the winter mountains to the seashore; the powerful god Njord, who may calm both sea and fire and grant wealth and land; the god Freyr, whose weather and farming associations bring peace and pleasure to humanity; the goddess Idunn who keeps apples that grant eternal youthfulness; the mysterious god Heimdall, who is born of nine mothers, can hear grass grow, has gold teeth, and possesses a resounding horn” and of course “Loki, who brings tragedy to the gods by engineering the death of the goddess Frigg’s beautiful son Baldur”

Nordic mythology is distinctive in that its gods are not only fallible (even the wily Odin), but also all mortal. They can and do die. And die aplenty on its version of the apocalypse. No foreordained triumph of the gods here – on this day, all gods die, taking their enemies down with them. Well, not all of them, as there are some key survivors to renew the world, but that phrase just has a good ring to it.

That doesn’t stop the Norse gods from being hardcore – from plucking one’s eye out as Odin did for wisdom, or losing one’s hand as security deposit as Tyr did, putting his hand in the mouth of the Fenris Wolf. Which of course brings me to their fearsome adversaries, not just frost and fire giants, led by Loki, but also his three terrible children – the goddess Hel leading the dishonorable dead, the Fenris Wolf leading other monstrous wolves, and the World-Serpent.

Hardcore.

 

SACRED SPACE & CHTHONIC BLUES

 

From the big guns of Celtic mythology, we move to the even bigger guns of Norse mythology, which has one of the best known of all mythic cosmologies. Celtic mythology may have its famous Otherworld – Norse mythology famously has its Nine Worlds. One of those is of course our own mortal world Midgard, which lent itself to one of the most famous fantasy worlds, Tolkien’s Middle Earth.

However, while there is reference to the Nine Worlds in the original texts of Norse mythology, it is never clearly identified what those Nine Worlds are. Instead, scholars speculate from references to various realms as they occur elsewhere – Midgard or the realm of humanity, the realm or realms of elves and dwarves, the realm of giants, and the realms of fire and ice.

The most famous mythic realm in Norse mythology is Asgard, the realm of the gods (or more precisely one of two realms of the two families or tribes of gods in Norse mythology, the Aesir and the Vanir, with Asgard as the realm of the Aesir) – with the even more famous Valhalla as afterlife abode of the heroic dead.

As for chthonic blues, Norse mythology also has one of the most famous underworlds (sometimes reckoned as one of the Nine Worlds or as part of the mythic realm of ice) – the one named for the goddess of the dead and that lent its name to (or came from the same source as) that of an even more famous underworld, Hel.

 

APOCALYPSE HOW

 

Norse mythology has one of the most famous or iconic apocalypses of mythology, exceeded by only one other entry in this top ten – Ragnarok or Gotterdamerung, heralded by Fimbulwinter. Interestingly, unlike the most famous or iconic apocalypse, it is not so much the victory of good over evil as it is the mutually assured destruction of both.

 

EQUAL RITES

 

While Norse mythology leans heavily into its warrior male ethos for its theos, it remains that it does have its strong female figures that are among the best known of mythology – Freya foremost of course but also Idun and Sif.

 

DIVINE COMEDY

 

For a mythology of icy warrior gods holding the line against chaos before being swallowed up by it (literally in the case of Odin), Norse mythology is surprisingly comedic. Part of that comes from the prevalence of tricksters within it, including the head of its pantheon Odin – who always reminds me of a compulsive gambler trying to string out one trick after another to hold off the house.

 

TWILIGHT OF THE GODS

 

The trope namer – since that is what Gotterdamerung literally translates as – but ironically not quite the definitive example of how I am using that phrase here, the persistence or decline of its deities in religious belief or cultural imagination.

Sure, it ranks highly in decline of religious beliefs, as the Norse deities have faded from active religious belief by all but the tiny slither of population that is neo-pagan or “heathen” (and even then I query how much of that is genuine religious belief). However, they continue to loom large in culture and popular imagination, second to none but one other mythology in this top ten list when it comes to European pantheons.

 

RATING:
A-TIER (TOP TIER)

 

S-TIER (GOD TIER)

 

 

Free “divine gallery” art sample – OldWorldGods

 

(2) CLASSICAL

 

“What men or gods are these? What maidens loath?
What mad pursuit? What struggle to escape?
What pipes and timbrels? What wild ecstasy!”

I believe in all the gods – especially the goddesses!

And I’m into classical mythology for the nymphs.

Or pining for them. As I said for Egyptian mythology, one of two things I lament about Christianity is the decline of the Egyptian pantheon, but the other thing – indeed the foremost thing – is the decline of classical paganism. It’s all I can do to stop myself yelling “This isn’t over! Pan isn’t dead! Julian the Apostate was right!” in churches.

“What ailed us, O gods, to desert you
For creeds that refuse and restrain?
Come down and redeem us from virtue”

If only we continued to follow the gods of classical paganism! If there is any mythology that tempts to me to actual religion within the deepest levels of my psyche, it’s classical mythology. I can see myself as a devotee of Aphrodite or Dionysus.

Classical mythology is of course the combination of Greek mythology and Roman mythology in ancient Greece as well as the Roman Republic and Roman Empire. Even as mythology rather than religion, it is one of the major survivals of ‘Greco-Roman’ culture that in turn is one of the two predominant cultural influences in what is often termed as Western civilization. Of course, many devotees prefer to refer to it simply as Greek mythology, seeing Roman mythology as Greek mythology with the serial numbers filed off. Which is somewhat ironic, as prior to the so-called Greek revival of the nineteenth century, Europeans primarily referred to names from classical mythology in their Latinized form. It is also a little unfair, as Roman mythology was not entirely derivative of Greek mythology – more a continuity reboot in the words of TV Tropes.

Anyway, you know it – or should. The gods and goddesses, primarily the twelve Olympian gods, but all the other deities as well as the demi-semi-hemi-gods that pop up because the gods can’t keep it in their pants. There are the heroes – a concept that in its very name actually comes from Greek mythology – primarily the heroes of the Trojan cycle. And there’s all the other beings, notably the various monsters that represent all the chaotic or chthonic forces in classical mythology.

And of course there’s the nymphs…

 

SACRED SPACE & CHTHONIC BLUES

 

What it lacks in the same extent of mythic cosmology as the Nine Worlds of Norse mythology, classical mythology more than makes up in the enduring iconic nature of its mythic geography.

I say geography, because the mythic geography or sacred space of classical mythology tended to be actual locations in historical geography, particularly within Greece, albeit transformed with a heroic or numinous nature. Troy is perhaps the most famous such location, although both its location and historicity remained uncertain before its modern rediscovery.

Even the realm of the gods had its portal in the historical geography of Greece with Mount Olympus.

Best of all, you have classical mythology’s recurring tendency to populate virtually every geographic feature with a hot nymph – now that’s sacred space!

As for chthonic blues, there’s the enduring iconic nature of classical mythology’s underworld – with most of its features being adapted wholesale by its successor for most prevalent imagery of the underworld in Western culture and imagination.

 

APOCALYPSE HOW

 

In contrast to its sacred space and chthonic blues second to my mythology in top spot, classical mythology is the least apocalyptic mythology in my top ten. Apocalyptic eschatology is not entirely absent from classical mythology.

There are hints that the supreme Olympian god Zeus will fall to the same sort of revolt against him as he led against his own father Cronus to rise to power (with Cronus in turn having risen to power by the same means against his father Uranus).

It’s one of the variant versions told of why Prometheus is chained to a rock with an eagle perpetually eating his liver – that he knew the secret of Zeus’ downfall, according to Prometheus Bound by Aeschylus, albeit Prometheus ultimately reconciled with Zeus by confessing the secret. (The secret being that the nymph Thetis would have a son greater than his father, which obviously posed a problem for Zeus as one of her suitors – so instead he arranged for Thetis to marry a mortal Peleus, conceiving Achilles).

There was a similar prophecy for the goddess Metis, except here the problem was that Zeus had already impregnated her – so Zeus pulled the same stunt as his own father and swallowed her, only for his daughter Athena to be born fully grown (and armed) from his head. She was famously one of classical mythology’s virgin goddesses, which I’ve always presumed was in part to avoid any fulfilment of the prophecy through her.

Apart from those hints of the future dethronement of Zeus, there were other revolts against Zeus, invoking the patricidal revolts by Zeus himself against his father Cronus and Cronus before him against Uranus – the primal cosmic battles or war in the heavens of classical mythology encapsulated as the Titanomachy. One is the war of the giants against the gods – the Gigantomachy to match the Titanomachy – and the other, more dangerously, is the attack by the monstrous Typhon on the gods, putting them to flight and even maiming Zeus himself. There’s even at least one coup attempt by other gods, including Zeus’ wife Hera – as told in the Iliad.

But for the most part, the apocalypse of the Olympian gods is more a matter of fading away in the twilight of any active religion or ritual for them. Or even dying, as was famously reported for Pan – “Pan is dead!”

Although ironically, as the argument does, Pan was the one Olympian god who did not die, being reborn with his goat-hooved and goat-halved form as the guise of the Christian Devil – better to reign in a Christian hell than to serve in an Olympian heaven I suppose. Sadly, it seems that argument is overstated but I prefer to believe it.

 

EQUAL RITES

 

Classical mythology has a prolific number of goddesses and divine (or semi-divine) female figures, such that it may seem to rival even Hindu mythology for the equal rites of its goddesses, particularly as the twelve Olympians were evenly divided between gods and goddesses – at least unless (or until) Dionysus substitutes for Hestia.

However, classical mythology seems to stop short of a supreme divine female figure (like that of Shaktism within Hindu mythology). As iconic as the divine female figures of classical mythology are, they tend to be subordinate to the divine male figures – particularly the supreme divine male figure of Zeus.

And yet there are hints or at least revisionist interpretations of the original or ultimate predominance of its goddesses or divine female figures. One of the most famous for the latter was by Robert Graves in his study of classical mythology, The Greek Myths (and popping up again in his poetic creed of the goddess, The White Goddess), although my favorite remains that of Barbara Walker in The Women’s Encyclopedia of Myths and Secrets. As for Celtic mythology and Arthurian legend, there is something of a cottage publishing industry in revisions of classical mythology focusing on its distinctive female figures.

Whatever the truth of such hints or interpretations, classical mythology has to rank highly for equal rites if only for both the prolific number of its female figures and their enduring iconic nature.

 

DIVINE COMEDY

 

As for the equal rites of its goddesses or female figures, classical mythology has to rank highly for its divine comedy – in the prolific number and enduring iconic nature of myths with comedic elements or trickster figures. Arguably the Odyssey is one long trickster’s tale. Indeed, the origins of dramatic comedy is in Greek theater or drama, which tended to revolve around the tales, themes or tropes of classical mythology.

Of course, as like to quip, life is the laughter of the gods but sometimes they have a black sense of humor.

 

TWILIGHT OF THE GODS

 

“What ailed us, gods, to desert you?”

Alas, I can’t deny the twilight of the gods of classical mythology – or that it is the one I feel most acutely.

Like Norse mythology, the gods of classical mythology have faded from religious belief and ritual by all but a tiny neo-pagan following. However, they loom even larger than those of Norse mythology in being adapted by their successor or within culture and popular imagination.

 

RATING: 5 STARS*****
S-TIER (GOD-TIER)

 

The Creation of Adam – Sistine Chapel by Michelangelo. Probably the most famous painting of Biblical imagery – “reproduced in countless imitations and parodies”and “one of the most replicated religious paintings of all time” (as well as in the public domain)

 

(1) BIBLICAL

 

Or as I like to call it – Babylon and the Beast.

This is it. This is the big one – genesis and apocalypse, alpha and omega, allelujah and amen!

Of course, Biblical mythology is helped into top spot in that for many people it is not just mythology but religion, in contrast to classical mythology or other ‘pagan’ mythologies it largely replaced.

However, I read the Bible as mythology rather than religion – or as poetry rather than history. That is, as literature for its literary quality. Or in other words, like virtually everyone reads classical mythology or any other mythology shorn of religious belief. And as mythology, it has an enduring resonance – of symbolic narratives that ring true at an emotional level or with the power of story, characters that resonate with us as flawed human protagonists (and that’s including God, who is all too human in his characterization) and language that in its best passages has an enduring lyrical or poetic quality.

And when you look at the mythology under the religious hood, that’s when things become much more interesting with layers of subtext, sex and violence as well as hints or insinuations of competing mythologies

Born again in Babylon and torn apart in Jerusalem…

 

SACRED SPACE & CHTHONIC BLUES

 

Biblical mythology outranks other mythologies with the enduring iconic nature of its mythic geography.

Again, I say geography because, like classical mythology, the mythic geography or sacred space of Biblical mythology tended to be actual locations in historical geography, particularly within the ancient Middle East, albeit transformed as numinous locations – with perhaps the most prominent being the opposing “poles” (for good and evil respectively) of Jerusalem and Babylon.

Some locations are more mythic than others – with again perhaps the most prominent representing opposing “poles”, this time at the beginning and end of the world, Eden and Armageddon, albeit the latter is often conflated with the apocalypse in which it appears.

As for chthonic blues, there’s the enduring iconic nature of Biblical mythology’s underworld, Hell (as well as Limbo and Purgatory) – or indeed its afterlife in general when you add Heaven.

 

APOCALYPSE HOW

 

The most definitive and iconic apocalypse in mythology, again outranking other mythologies, not surprisingly since it is the source of the very name for apocalypse.

 

EQUAL RITES

 

You’d think it wouldn’t rank too high given its masculine monotheism, even with the Trinity (unless you throw in Mary as well), but you’d be surprised.

Firstly, it has a prolific number of female figures, also among the most famous or iconic female figures in mythology.

Secondly, there are hints or at least revisionist interpretations of divine female figures – goddesses even or at least the divine feminine nature of God – to be found in the Bible and its female characters.

 

DIVINE COMEDY

 

Again you’d be surprised by the Bible when it comes to its divine comedy and trickster figures.

What’s more, much of that is intentional, although arguably even more of its comedy is black comedy or unintentional by its writers.

What is neither black nor unintentional is the argument that the Gospels are ultimately comedic in nature, essentially along the lines of its eucatastrophe or happy ending in triumph over tragedy.

Taking that a bit further to less serious interpretations, I’ve always been struck by the similarity in style between parables and jokes. And you can’t deny that Jesus had a gift for a snappy one-liner, particularly to hecklers – even when those hecklers include the Devil himself.

 

TWILIGHT OF THE GODS

 

What can I say? For sheer persistence as well as scale for endurance not only of cultural influence but active religious belief, Biblical mythology outranks all others in my top ten – indeed, probably all of them combined in terms of scale.

 

RATING: 5 STARS*****
S-TIER (GOD-TIER – WHAT ELSE?)

 

 

 

MYTHOLOGY – TOP 10 MYTHOLOGIES (TIER LIST)

 

S-TIER (GOD TIER)

(1) BIBLICAL

(2) CLASSICAL

 

If Biblical mythology is my Old Testament of mythologies, then classical mythology is my New Testament. Yes, yes – I know that in a literal sense Biblical mythology is both Old Testament and New Testament but this is my schtick I do for god tier.

 

A-TIER (TOP TIER)

(3) NORSE

(4) CELTIC – ARTHURIAN

(5) EGYPTIAN

(6) MIDDLE EASTERN – BABYLO-SUMERIAN

(7) HINDU

(8) AZTEC

(9) NATIVE AMERICAN – LAKOTA

(10) AFRO-AMERICAN – VOODOO

 

You can return to or find more top tens in my indexed page for top tens of mythology.

 

 

 

Top Tens – Poetry & Literature: Top 10 Poetry (Honorable Mention) John Donne – To His Mistress Going to Bed

Yeah, that’s the look of a man I’d imagine to use metaphysical pick-up lines – Bust of John Donne photographed by Matthew Black, Wikipedia “John Donne”, license https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0/deed.en

 

 

(1654) JOHN DONNE – TO HIS MISTRESS GOING TO BED

 

One of the metaphysical poets. I don’t recall what makes a poet metaphysical but this poem would suggest that it’s being pretty raunchy.

 

“Licence my roving hands, and let them go,

Before, behind, between, above, below.

O my America! my new-found-land,

My kingdom, safeliest when with one man mann’d”

Now that’s metaphysics!

I don’t know how it would go down standing over your mistress and declaring her to be your America as saucy foreplay these days. It’s time to manifest your destiny, baby!

I do like how the poem finishes off (heh) with its version of that cheesy pick-up line – “You know what would look good on you? Me!”

 

To teach thee, I am naked first; why then

What needst thou have more covering than a man.

 

Top Tens – Poetry & Literature: Top 10 Poetry (Honorable Mention) Introduction

A question even better than “To be or not to be”, although I think the better question would be how zombie Shakespeare ended up in a Springfield school locker – one of the finest moments in a Simpsons Halloween episode in Dial Z for Zombies, the third story in Treehouse of Horror III, Episode 5, Season 4, The Simpsons

 

 

TOP 10 POETRY (HONORABLE MENTION)

 

I live in a poetic world – and I have my Top 10 Poetry, by poem and poet, as well as twenty special mentions

But wait – there’s even more!

There’s enough poems and poets out there that I like exceeding my Top 10 Poetry and my twenty special mentions, so it’s time for honorable mentions. I rank them by chronological order (as I’d otherwise rank them all in B-tier or high tier) – by the year of publication for their standout poem, for which I like and include them in my honorable mentions.

Top Tens – Tropes & Other: Top 10 Ice Ages

Ice Age Earth, artist’s impression of the Earth at Pleistocene glacial maximum by Ittiz – Wikipedia “Ice Age” licensed https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/deed.en

 

 

TOP 10 ICE AGES

 

Ice, ice, baby – and a shallow dip top ten on the spot for my Top 10 Ice Ages!

As I said in my entry for Ice Age in my Top 10 Ages, there have been a number of ice ages in the history of the planet such that I could compile a top ten of them, albeit I have to stretch it to get to ten since there are five or six major ice ages. (Not so much for special mentions, where I can get weirder and wilder with the subject, in what, aptly enough might be called my Ice Age iceberg).

So here they are (with all of them ranking as B-tier or high tier, with the exception of the top entry as A-tier or top tier)

 

 

A-TIER (TOP TIER)

 

(1) LATE CENOZOIC – QUARTERNARY (PLEISTOCENE)

 

No surprise here – the Ice Age, or the ice age everyone thinks of when they think of an ice age.

The most recent one – indeed, the one we’re stil in, albeit an intergalacial period of it. Hence in popular culture and usage the term Ice Age usually refers to the most recent glacial period within the larger ice age – the Pleistocene.

The one that began about 2.58 million years ago – the one with mammalian megafauna such as mammoths. And us – indeed, the Ice Age largely coincides with the (Upper) Stone Age (or Paleolithic), all the way back to our earliest hominin ancestors. We hunted the mammoth and all that.

 

B-TIER (HIGH TIER)

 

(2) LATE PALEOZOIC – KAROO

 

The next most recent Ice Age before our own – only 360 to 255 million years ago, preceding the dinosaurs (which first appeared about 243 million years ago). Also the most silly sounding name for an ice age with Karoo.

 

(3) EARLY PALEOZOIC – ANDEAN-SAHARAN

 

460 to 420 million years ago – life on land was just getting started.

 

(4) NEOPROTEROZOIC – STURTIAN, MARINOAN, GASKIERS & BAYKONURIAN

 

An ice age or series of ice ages from 720 to 635 million years ago (with encores 580 and 547 million years ago). Arguably this ice or these ice ages should outrank all others for a reason you’ll see in another entry on this top ten, but there wasn’t much life around to see it as it was just multicellular life getting started in the seas

 

(5) PALEOPROTEROZOIC – HURONIAN

 

Ice age – or at least three ice ages – approximately 2.5 to 2.2 billion years ago. Not much around to see it though with just cellular life

 

(6) MESOARCHEAN – PONGOLA

 

Oldest known ice age 2.9 to 2.78 billion years or so. Even less around to see it with microbian life.

 

(7) SNOWBALL EARTH

 

Okay, this is something of a cheat as Snowball Earth is a hypothesis that during one or more of Earth’s glacial periods, the Earth’s surface was “nearly entire frozen with no liquid oceanic or surface water exposed to the atmosphere”. I just like the name so couldn’t resist it for its own entry in my Top 10 Ice Ages.

There’s a less frozen version proposed as Slushball Earth “with a thin equatorial band of open (or seasonally open) water”.

Usually proposed for the Sturtian or Marinoan glacial periods in the Neoproterozoic Era, aptly enough within the period in that era called Cryogenian.

 

(8) LATE ANTIQUE LITTLE ICE AGE

 

A cooling period in the fifth and sixth centuries AD, hypothesized as a “volcanic winter” (more about that in special mentions) coinciding with three large volcanic eruptions and contributing to the decline of the Roman Empire – contrasting with the Roman Warm Period. So the decline and fall of the Roman Empire…was due to global cooling?

 

(9) LITTLE ICE AGE

 

A period of regional cooling, particulary in the North Atlantic, variously proposed from the 16th century (but also as early as 1300) to the 19th century (about 1850) with several causes proposed for it – contrasting with the Medieval Warm Period.

 

(10) NEXT GLACIAL PERIOD

 

We’re still in the Ice Age (the Quarternary Ice Age), just an intergalacial period – and some estimates are that we’re overdue for another glacial period, with human impact “now seen as possibly extending what would already be an unusually long warm period.”

 

Top Tens – Tropes & Other: Top 10 Dark Ages (Special Mention)

After the destruction comes the desolation – The Course of Empire: Desolation (1836) – fifth of a series of five paintings by Thomas Cole (in public domain)

 

 

TOP 10 DARK AGES (SPECIAL MENTION)

 

Hello darkness my old friend – there’s even more Dark Age darkness, with the usual twenty special mentions for my Top 10 Dark Ages.

As usual, it’s more of a Dark Age iceberg as I look beyond the historiographical usage of the term to various aspects or connotations of the Dark Age or Dark Ages – getting weirder and wilder the deeper and darker I go…

 

B-TIER (HIGH TIER)

 

 

(1) SOCIETAL COLLAPSE

 

The defining characteristic that most people would associate with the Dark Age, or indeed anything that might be described as a dark age – particularly in combination with the loss or scarcity of historical records that societal collapse typically involves. I suppose the only distinction people might draw between the term of dark age and the concept of societal collapse is that the former arguably involves a society of some historical prominence, geographic range, and chronological duration prior to its collapse.

‘Nuff said, really, except that the concept or phenomenon of societal collapse probably deserves its own top ten list (or lists) and not simply as an offshoot of my Top 10 Dark Ages.

 

(2) POST-APOCALYPTIC

 

Well now, most people would see post-apocalyptic as synonymous for the society or whatever’s left of it after the societal collapse. After all, apocalypse or apocalyptic have become synonymous with societal collapse – at best that is, since at worst they are synonymous with extinction events or destruction on a planetary scale. So post-apocalyptic is essentially synonymous with a dark age – and the Dark Age itself can readily be described as post-apocalyptic, I would presume by reference to the Apocalypse by some living in it.

Of course, probably thanks to both science and science fiction, we tend to use the term post-apocalyptic by reference to some contemporary or future apocalypse rather than a historical one. In which case, regression to a new dark age would seem the best case given the apocalyptic scenarios we face – certainly Einstein saw the outcome of World War Three as regression to a new stone age.

 

(3) FEUDAL

 

Usually seen as the defining characteristic of the European Dark Age – the feudal economy and society – and often by extension to dark ages projected into other parts of the past or the future.

 

(4) PRIMAL – STATE OF NATURE

 

Alternatively, the defining characteristic of the Dark Age or at least a dark age is often seen as a reversion to the primal state of (human) nature conjectured by Hobbes – the war of all against all, in which the life of man is nasty, poor, brutish, and short:

“In such condition there is no place for industry, because the fruit thereof is uncertain, and consequently no culture of the earth, no navigation nor the use of commodities that may be imported by sea, no commodious building, no instruments of moving and removing such things as require much force, no knowledge of the face of the earth, no account of time, no arts, no letters, no society, and which is worst of all, continual fear and danger of violent death, and the life of man, solitary, poor, nasty, brutish, and short.”

For that matter, the term dark age might well apply to the primal state of humanity in its prehistory. The Stone Age is the Dark Age – the Bronze Age too, for that matter. Of course, the Stone Age doesn’t so much reflect societal collapse as precede the formation of society itself to collapse, although the two resemble each other – and it doesn’t get much more lacking in historical record than prehistory, another point to invoke the Stone Age as Dark Age.

 

(5) PRE-INDUSTRIAL – MALTHUSIAN

 

Ultimately, I think that there is a strong argument to consider everything prior to industrialization and modern technology as a dark age, given the vast improvements in almost every metric for our standard of living and quality of life since – indeed, what might be called a Malthusian dark age, given the Malthusian trap humanity found itself in beforehand, such that most, if not all, improvements in material conditions or quality of life were swallowed up by the resulting population growth.

During this pre-industrial or Malthusian dark age, it seems at at best humanity mostly was treading water with its head barely above the surface, so to speak – and at worst, treading water below the surface.

 

(6) BARBARIANS AT THE GATES

 

Up there with societal collapse as the defining characteristic that most people would associate with dark ages, as most people associate barbarians at the gates – being overrun by barbarian, external or internal – as at least a symptom of societal collapse, when not actually the cause of it.

It certainly is associated by most people with the Dark Age, that is the European Dark Age and the fall of the Roman Empire. Interestingly, however, that is a matter of some debate between historians. Some historians argue that it was more peaceful transition rather than violent fall. Even when it is accepted to be a fall, there remains the perennial debate whether it was from external forces – the proverbial barbarians at the gates – or from its own internal decline.

It also tends to be associated with contemporary or future post-apocalyptic dark age scenarios, as in the Mad Max film franchise.

Interestingly, only some of my Top 10 Dark Ages involved barbarians at the gates – the European Dark Age (and sub-Roman Britain), the Bronze Age Collapse (and Greek Dark Ages), and the Byzantine Dark Age.

 

(7) VESTIGIAL EMPIRE

 

Up there with barbarians at the gates as the defining characteristic of the Dark Age or European Dark Age – the vestigial empire being the Roman Empire.

Imperial or political state collapse, whether that state is left shrunken or in remnants, tends to accompany societal collapse and hence tends to be a recurring characteristic of dark ages in general, when not actually definitive of them.

 

(8) CHURCH MILITANT

 

Something of a dead horse historical trope, there is or at least was a recurring association with the Dark Age or European Dark Age with an ascendant Church effectively exercising a monopoly over the human mind or imagination – and actively suppressing cultural or scientific learning or advancement. Sometimes that association is to the extent that the Church effectively caused or prolonged the Dark Age.

Fortunately, history has marched on but it remains something of an enduring force in popular culture or imagination, such that an ascendant Church or something like it often tends to feature in the post-apocalyptic dark ages of fantasy or SF.

 

(9) PLAGUE

 

Plague tends to recur as symptom or cause of the societal collapse that is a defining characteristic of dark ages – even the Dark Age, where the triple whammy of the Antonine Plague, the Cyprian Plague, and the Plague of Justinian played their part in the collapse of the Roman Empire, possibly even the decisive part.

If the plague is big and bad enough, it can readily overwhelm society to the point of societal collapse or close to it. While I would hesitate to call the period of the Black Plague in Europe as dark age, I would not hesitate to call it as coming close in the scale of collapse or destruction, particularly in the areas worst affected.

 

(10) VIKING ERA

 

Do you want Vikings? Because that’s how you get Vikings.

Now we come to a specific aspect of the Dark Age – in this case of the proverbial barbarians at the gates, albeit not involved in the fall of the western Roman Empire but after it.

However, more than any other group that might be labelled as barbarians after that fall, the Vikings and their era have effectively become synonymous with the European Dark Age – not least due to their pervasive geographical extent throughout Europe (and beyond) as well as their time span. I understand the very term Viking originated not from their ethnicity as such but their occupation as raiders – the same raiding that was symptomatic of the Dark Age’s societal collapse and lack of political states with the resources to effectively oppose them.

The Vikings had their parallel in at least one of my Top 10 Dark Ages other than the European Dark Age – the Sea Peoples of my second place entry, the Bronze Age Collapse. Beyond that, they often have their parallel in the mobile raiders, whether by land or sea, in the post-apocalyptic dark age scenarios of fantasy or SF. I tend to quip about Rohan as horse Vikings in The Lord of the Rings, although whether one would label Tolkien’s Third Age or some part of it as a fantasy dark age is another matter.

 

(11) MONGOL CONQUESTS

 

We come now to historical events or periods that are not labelled dark ages as such but might well be or at least be considered analogous to dark ages – perhaps foremost among them the Mongol Conquests, with their scale of destruction in some estimates rivalling the world wars in absolute numbers and substantially higher relative to the world population. When you’re dealing with destruction on a scale that it is estimated to have caused climate change, you know you’re in the big league.

That said, I don’t think it could be described as a European dark age for Europe, at least outside Russia. While the Mongol Conquests reached Europe, they remained on the fringes – it was more a matter of the long shadow they case into Europe, with, the Mongol bark being worse than their bite as it were.

However, for destruction elsewhere in Eurasia – China, central Asia, the Middle East, even Russia – it might well be considered a dark age, albeit obviously a golden age for the Mongols themselves (which begs the historical question of how many golden ages for some might be dark ages for others).

 

(12) COLUMBIAN EXCHANGE

 

Although arguably a golden age for Europe – for whom the so-called Columbian Exchange with the Americas was on the profit side of the balance sheet – that same Exchange as well as the Spanish Conquest might well be considered a dark age for the original inhabitants of the Americas, or indeed as extinction events, predominantly through disease.

Of course, the Columbian Exchange wasn’t entirely one-sided, but the more beneficial exchanges by Europe to the Americas tended to be reaped by the European colonialists rather than the Americans. One exception that might have seen native Americans, particularly in the north American plains or tribes like the Comanche, pull off something akin to their own Mongol Conquests – the horse – mostly came too little and too late to have that effect against the odds of increasingly industrial and technological opponents.

 

(13) MODERN DARK AGE

 

One would have thought the world, particularly Europe, to be immune from dark ages after the Industrial Revolution – but no, some have compared twentieth century totalitarianism, fascism and communism, or the world wars to a new dark age, with some justice to such claims.

Indeed, no less than Winston Churchill used that exact phrase of a new dark age for German victory in the Second World War – and in his most famous wartime speech at that, his “finest hour” speech (and just before the finest hour bit).

Almost if not as famously, British Foreign Secretary presciently spoke of Europe darkening at the advent of the First World War – “The lamps are going out all over Europe, we shall not see them lit again in our life-time”.

 

X-TIER (WEIRD / WILD TIER)

 

(14) COSMOLOGICAL DARK AGE

 

Now we move from historical dark ages to broader use of the term – in this case theoretical scientific cosmology, which proposes a Cosmological Dark Age after the Big Bang until the formation of the first stars. As such, it is a literal dark age in terms of the absence of visible light from stars, albeit I understand there were two limited sources of photons or light from elsewhere even if those sources get a little too science-y for my brain to wrap its big bang around.

 

(15) CULTURAL – AUDIENCE ALIENATING ERA

 

It occasionally pops up for periods in or aspects of culture, popular or otherwise, to be labelled as dark ages because of their perceived lack of aesthetic value or because people just don’t like them – a la the trope of audience alienating era in TV Tropes.

Indeed, my very next special mention entry features two commonly used dark ages in popular culture, albeit not necessarily for their lack of quality but also as part of a more general usage labelling “ages” within popular culture.

 

(16) DARK AGE OF COMICS & DARK AGE OF ANIMATION

 

Yes, there’s a Dark Age of Comics, used as a label for the period for comics published from the 1980s to 1990s, albeit more for a shift to mature or “darker and grittier” content in comics than a judgement of lack of quality – although this period certainly saw its notorious excesses from the former that overlapped into the latter.

It follows on from the labels for ‘ages’ in the publication of comics following on from the Golden Age of comics or dawn of superhero comics with Superman and Batman, although I’ve always thought the Bronze Age of Comics to be somewhat nebulous in defining characteristics between the Golden or Silver Age of Comics and the Dark Age of Comics.

On the other hand, the Dark Age of Animation from the 1950s to the 1980s is proposed as a term for the decline of quality from the preceding Golden Age of Animation

 

(17) FANTASY & SF DARK AGES

 

No, I’m not referring to a Dark Age OF Fantasy or SF as a term for a period in the publishing or production of fantasy or SF in literary or other media, although it may well have popped up in such usage by someone at some time or another.

Rather, I’m referring to a Dark Age IN Fantasy or SF – that is, for the usage of a dark age or even the Dark Age (as in the European Dark Age) within a fantasy or SF setting. There are certainly fantasies set in the Dark Age – indeed any fantasy setting involving King Arthur, as I discussed the latter for my entry on the British Dark Age or sub-Roman Britain entry in my Top 10 Dark Ages.

I would argue that the Third Age as setting for The Lord of the Rings in Tolkien’s legendarium is a fantasy dark age – at least in large parts if not the whole. However, the archetypal example of a dark age setting is in SF, involving as it does a dark age directly adapted from the Dark Age with the decline of a Galactic Empire directly adapted from the Roman Empire – and that is Isaac Asimov’s Foundation series.

 

(18) DUNG AGES

 

The Dung Ages trope in TV Tropes, the Dark Age (and usually the Middle Ages as well) as a trope for the depiction of medieval Europe as a crapsack world, often characterized by the omnipresence of literal crap – or at least dirt, filth, or mud. The archetypal example of the trope (indeed the trope codifier acknowledged as such by TV Tropes) is the Monty Python and the Holy Grail film, in which one filthy peasant observes to another about King Arthur – “He must be a king. He hasn’t got sh!t all over him”.

 

(19) PERSONAL – DARK NIGHT OF THE SOUL

 

“Some are born to sweet delight

And some are born to endless night”

 

Yeah, I got the latter option, damn it.

That’s right – it’s everyone’s own personal dark age or decline and fall.

We all inevitably face one with either old age or mortality, although I think describing one’s old age as your dark age or decline and fall sounds much more glamorous.

Of course that doesn’t stop personal dark ages from occurring earlier in life – from archetypal mid-life crises (I like to quip that I’ve had a mid-life crisis all my life – or an all-life crisis) to other periods of pain and sorrow, breakdown, or depression. Although again I think that describing such periods as your own personal dark age or decline and fall sounds more glamorous, perhaps even transformative for coping or healing.

Strictly speaking, the dark night of the soul is a descriptive term for part of a mystical or religious experience, but “in modern times, the phrase dark night of the soul has become a popular phrase to describe a crisis of faith or a difficult, painful period in one’s life”.

And that seems a natural segue to my final special mention entry.

 

(20) S€XUAL DARK AGE

 

My usual rule is to reserve my final (twentieth) special mention for a kinky (or kinkier) entry, where the subject matter permits – and I wouldn’t have thought that the subject of dark ages would permit it but here we are. Once again, you’ll be surprised what kink I can squeeze out of a given subject.

A s€xual dark age could refer to one’s personal such age – the proverbial “dry patch” or “involuntary celibacy” in the parlance of our times.

The latter suggests a more contemporary and widespread sxual dark age, one of societal s€xual collapse – of widespread celibacy, involuntary or otherwise, among the population, decline in testosterone, ambiguity or ambivalence about conventional sexual identities, or decline in fertility or procreation

Top Tens – Poetry & Literature: Top 10 Poetry (Special Mention: Complete)

The New Colossus by Emma Lazarus – possibly the most famous sonnet and certainly one of the most prominent with its bronze plaque inside the Statue of Liberty, featured here in its public domain image

 

 

I live in a poetic world.

And I have my Top 10 Poetry, by poem and poet.

But wait – there’s more! Not surprisingly given how many poems and poets there are out there, there’s enough further entries for my usual twenty special mentions I prefer for each top ten.

And I still prefer the playful definition of poetry by TV Tropes as I did for my Top Ten Poetry – pretty words.

No, really. That’s what poetry is. Sometimes it rhymes, sometimes there are more line breaks than usual. All you really need to make a poem, though, is to put it together so it sounds good, or at least sounds the way you want it to sound.

 

S-TIER (GOD TIER)

 

Title page of the First Folio – containing 36 of Shakespeare’s plays and one of the most influential books ever published – from 1623 with copper engraving of Shakespeare by Martin Droeshout (public domain image)

 

 

(1) WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE (1564-1616)

 

The Bard of Avon – or simply, the Bard.

“He is widely regarded as the greatest writer in the English language and the world’s pre-eminent dramatist…His extant works, including collaborations, consist of some 39 plays, 154 sonnets, three long narrative poems and a few other verses, some of uncertain authorship. His plays have been translated into every major living language and are performed more often than those of any other playwright. Shakespeare remains arguably the most influential writer in the English language, and his works continue to be studied and reinterpreted.”

What else is there to say than this introduction to the Wikipedia article on Shakespeare? Shakespeare is so definitive and so influential as a writer – indeed, as THE writer, “the only playwright most people can name” as per TV Tropes on Shakespeare – that his very name evokes all you need to say.

Well, except perhaps why I rank him as (only) special mention, albeit as my top special mention in god tier, in my Top 10 Poetry instead of Top 10 Literature?

The latter is perhaps easier to address. For me, Shakespeare primarily wrote poetry – obviously in his sonnets but also even in his plays. Yes – he did write some prose in his plays but mostly he wrote them in blank verse. I’m reminded of Don Marquis writing in jest as Shakespeare’s publishers remonstrating with him to stop doing so much of that poetry stuff and do more of the ghosts or gore the audience liked.

As for the query why only special mention, as influential as he is – including for me potentially as a subject worthy of several top ten lists – he just lacks the same influence for me as those entries in my Top 10 Poetry or Top 10 Literature lists. There’s also the sheer volume of writing, which makes it difficult to pick any single play, let alone sonnet, as the best or most influential above all others.

Although if push came to shove and I had to nominate one play for this special mention entry, it would be Macbeth – not coincidentally, the major Shakespeare play I studied at school and which remains a major influence on me, particularly when it comes to Shakespeare.

 

Life’s but a walking shadow, a poor player

That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,

And then is heard no more. It is a tale

Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,

Signifying nothing.

 

Runners-up would be those other plays I studied, Julius Caesar and Henry V, although I also have a soft spot for Romeo and Juliet from the Baz Luhrman film adaptation.

And speaking of adaptations, the depth of his influence on drama, literature and culture remains long, ongoing and profound – back to Wikipedia on his legacy, “Shakespeare’s work has made a significant and lasting impression on later theatre and literature…he expanded the dramatic potential of characterization, plot, language, and genre.” His plays have been almost endlessly adapted, imitated, parodied, deconstructed and reconstructed – not just in drama or theater, but in novels and literature in general as well as films and television.

His influence extends even to music – “scholars have identified 20,000 pieces of music linked to Shakespeare’s works” – and art, to the study of psychology and the English language itself. “His use of language helped to shape modern English…expressions such as ‘with bated breath’ (Merchant of Venice) and ‘a foregone conclusion’ (Othello) have found their way into everyday English speech.”

And far beyond England or English for that matter – “this master, this titan, this genius, so profoundly British and so effortlessly universal, each different culture – German, Italian, Russian – was obliged to respond to the Shakespearean example; for the most part, they embraced it, and him, with joyous abandon, as the possibilities of language and character in action that he celebrated liberated writers across the continent. Some of the most deeply affecting productions of Shakespeare have been non-English, and non-European. He is that unique writer: he has something for everyone.”

Although perhaps nothing will ever top his finest stage direction – “Exit, pursued by a bear” (from A Winter’s Tale).

 

RATING: 5 STARS*****

S-TIER (GOD TIER)

 

Norton Anthology of Poetry – 6th edition 2018 cover

 

 

(2) NORTON ANTHOLOGY OF POETRY

 

This may seem as a bit of a cheat, particularly ranked as my top special mention and in god tier to boot, given that it is an anthology – that is, a collection of poetry from different poets in contrast to the individual poets of my Top 10 Poetry (and most of the balance of special mentions).

Indeed, it is the most comprehensive collection of poetry, both in poems and in poets, from the very earliest poems in English to the present day, that I know – my favorite single volume anthology or collection of poetry.

And that essentially gives away the method to my madness behind it as my top special mention. In short, the Norton Anthology of Poetry is the means by which I encountered most of my favorite poems or poets, including those in my top ten or these special mentions.

It is one of a series of Norton Anthologies which tend to be favorite volumes for schools, colleges or universities. Two other Norton Anthologies come close to it in my education – the Norton Anthology of English Literature and the Norton Anthology of American Literature – and one other comes close to it in my personal reading – the Norton Anthology of Modern and Contemporary Poetry.

But no other anthology, Norton or otherwise, has ever matched the Norton Anthology of Poetry for my discovery and enjoyment of poems and poets – and I still discover or rediscover poems and poets within its pages to this day.

 

RATING: 5 STARS*****

S-TIER (GOD TIER)

 

A-TIER (TOP TIER)

 

 

Yes – I couldn’t resist this pun from Rocky & Bulwinkle for the Ruby Yacht of Omar Khayyam. And yes – the metafictional canned audience groaned too

 

 

(3) RUBAIYAT OF OMAR KHAYYAM

 

Not bad for a Persian poet getting pissed – which is what the Rubaiyat is when you boil it down.

Of course, there’s more to it than that, given the religious prohibition on alcohol in Islam – which lends itself as the springboard for existential ennui or philosophical musings on religion and life itself.

The Rubaiyat is “the title that Edward FitzGerald gave to his 1859 translation from Persian to English of a selection of quatrains (rubaiyat) attributed to Omar Khayyam (1048–1131), dubbed the Astronomer-Poet of Persia”.

Translation that is in the very loosest sense – indeed, FitzGerald himself apparently referred to it as a ‘transmogrification’.

“Many of the verses are paraphrased, and some of them cannot be confidently traced to his source material at all…To a large extent, the Rubaiyat can be considered original poetry by FitzGerald loosely based on Omar’s quatrains rather than a translation in the narrow sense.”

For that matter, “the authenticity of the poetry attributed to Omar Khayyam is highly uncertain” – he was famed as an astronomer and mathematician, with the earliest references to his poetry being substantially after his death and “the extant manuscripts containing collections attributed to Omar are dated much too late to enable a reconstruction of a body of authentic verses”. There is an implausibly large number of quatrains attributed to him – varying from 1,200 to more than 2,000 – and “sceptical scholars point out that the entire tradition may be pseudigraphic”.

Fortunately, FitzGerald didn’t ‘translate’ or write that many quatrains. His original 1859 edition was a much more modest 75 quatrains, expanded in subsequent editions to the final edition of 101 quatrains – or a mere 404 lines.

Although “commercially unsuccessful at first”, the Rubaiyat subsequently became both highly popular and influential, albeit peaking in the 1880s – “the book was extremely popular throughout the English-speaking world, to the extent that numerous Omar Khayyam clubs were formed and there was a fin de siècle cult of the Rubaiyat”.

Of course, it helps that the quatrains are so eminently quotable.

 

RATING:

A-TIER (TOP TIER)

 

 

The Great Red Dragon and The Woman Clothed in the Sun painting by Blake (and featured in Thomas Harris’ novel Red Dragon). And yes – the Great Red Dragon does squats and doesn’t skip leg day

 

 

(4) WILLIAM BLAKE (1757-1827)

 

“To see a world in a grain of sand

And a heaven in a wildflower

Hold infinity in the palm of your hand

And eternity in an hour”

 

Romantic mystic poet – “everything possible to be believ’d is an image of truth”.

Inspired The Doors through Aldous Huxley – “if the doors of perception were cleansed everything would appear to man as it is, infinite”.

Also one of the first comics or multimedia creators, since he was also a painter and printmaker who designed his visual art around his poetry and vice versa.

Poetry or mythology, that is, as Blake was one of the pioneers for creating his own literary mythos or Verse (heh) in the parlance of modern popular culture (and TV Tropes). The Blake Poetry & Visual Art Universe, as it were, in the style of the Marvel Cinematic Universe, only trippier – “I must create a system or be enslav’d by another man’s”.

 

“Tyger tyger, burning bright

In the forests of the night”

 

Blake excelled in poetic phrases and aphorisms but if I were to pick one of his whole poems for this entry it would be The Tyger, even if does have the same rhythm as Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. It was one of His Songs of Experience, in which each poem corresponded to one of his poems in his Songs of Innocence as a matched pair. The counterpart of The Tyger was The Lamb, but whereas latter invokes images of God knitting the lamb, the former is a fiery image of God literally forging the tiger.

 

RATING:

A-TIER (TOP TIER)

*

Portrait of Lord Byron by English painter Thomas Phillips 1813 (public domain image)

 

 

(5) LORD BYRON (1788-1824)

 

Mad, bad and dangerous to know (according to Lady Caroline Lamb, who had an affair with him)

If Blake was a pioneer of the modern literary mythos, Byron was a pioneer of the modern literary hero or anti-hero – also the self-insert character, modelled on himself and thereafter named as the Byronic Hero, charismatic but deeply flawed.

“I awoke one morning and found myself famous”.

The original Byronic hero was the titular character of his epic poem Childe Harold’s Pilgrimage – the same epic poem that made that fame and paid for his vices. Although as his longer narrative poems go, I prefer his Don Juan, in which he recast the infamous womanizing Spanish folk legend of Don Juan as more a male ingenue tossed between impulse and circumstance.

Perhaps the best example of a poet who truly lived (and died) their art – the Romantic poet and revolutionary who died fighting for the Greeks in the Greek War of Independence. And by died fighting I mean sadly from the medicine of the day being bled to death from fever rather than, you know, in combat or the more dashing death he might have expected, albeit he still died young.

And yes – he was an actual Lord, “who gave two memorable speeches in the House of Lords”, one for Catholic emancipation.

 

“She walks in beauty like the night”.

While he made his fame from his longer poems, his short lyric poems appeal to me more to represent him here for this entry – and what else but She Walks in Beauty?

 

RATING:

A-TIER (TOP TIER)

*

He even looked like Uncle Sam. Photograph of Walt Whitman by George C. Cox in 1887 in New York – public domain image

 

 

(6) WALT WHITMAN (1819-1892)

 

“I sound my barbaric yawp over the roofs of the world”

Who hasn’t wanted to sound a barbaric yawp at one time or another?

Also the poet everyone knows from Dead Poet’s Society, since he wrote the poem being quoted and indeed titled as “O Captain! My Captain!”

By the way, that poem was written for the death of President Lincoln in 1865. It was also not the only Whitman reference in the film or the book on which it was based – both were obviously influenced by Whitman fandom, but then so is much of American poetry and literary culture, which brings me to my next point.

With the possible exception of another special mention, Walt Whitman is the American poet. The Great American Poet as it were, in the same vein as those books touted as the Great American Novel. Although I don’t know why there’s debate on the contenders for the Great American Novel when it’s obviously Catch-22. Search your feelings – you know it to be true.

Yes – I hear your query. Wait a minute Stark After Dark – don’t you rank American poets over than Whitman in your top ten, including e.e. cummings in your top spot? Not to mention William Carlos Williams, Sylvia Plath, and Ishmael Reed in eighth, ninth, and tenth place respectively. For that matter, you can claim T.S. Eliot as American poet, since he was born and raised in the United States, only moving to England at the age of 25 (in 1914). And there’s a few more American poets in special mentions to come.

“Do I contradict myself? Very well, I contradict myself. (I am large, I contain multitudes”

And yes – while I’m tempted to argue for e.e.cummings as the American poet or the Great American Poet, I have to admit that Whitman is more lyrical, and more fundamentally, embodies the United States in so much of his verse.

What better image of the United States than a nation sounding its barbaric yawp over the roofs of the world?

As per art historian Mary Berenson – “You cannot really understand America without Walt Whitman”.

And Ezra Pound was even more blunt, calling Whitman “America’s poet… He is America.”

As for which Whitman poem to select for this entry, one is spoilt for choice. There’s the collection of poetry for which he is famed – Leaves of Grass. (To quote Homer Simpson when he finds out the grave that he thought was his mother’s was instead that of Walt Whitman – “leaves of grass, my ass!”.

There’s the most famous poem from that collection – Song of Myself, from which both that barbaric yawp and containing multitudes quotes come from – and so many others, including of course O Captain My Captain. However, I have to go with When Lilacs Last in the Dooryard Bloom’d, another elegy written for the death of Lincoln.

 

RATING:

A-TIER (TOP TIER)

 

 

Portrait of Swinburne in watercolor and chalk by Dante Gabriel Rossetti in 1861 (public domain image used as feature image in the Wikipedia article for Swinburne)

 

 

(7) ALGERNON CHARLES SWINBURNE (1837-1909)

 

“What ailed us, O gods, to desert you,

For creeds that refuse and restrain?

Come down and redeem us from virtue,

Our Lady of Pain”

 

A deliciously decadent and pagan poet, as well as one that was distinctly kinky – that Lady of Pain wasn’t just some turn of the phrase but a glimpse into the sadomasochistic dungeon in the basement of his mind.

He was best known for his debut poetry collection Poems and Ballads, which was something of his personal pagan manifesto and featured the poem Dolores that I quoted at the outset.

“The poem demonstrates most of the controversial themes for which Swinburne became notorious. It conflates the cruel yet libidinous pagan goddess figure of Dolores, the Lady of Pain with Mary, Mother of Jesus and associates the poem itself, through its parenthetical titular text (Notre-Dame des Sept Douleurs, i.e., “Our Lady of Seven Sorrows” with the Seven Dolours of the Virgin.”

Camille Paglia observed how much the poem resembles prayer, particularly in rhythm and recurring phrases – presumably amidst sacraments of flagellation and spanking. I’d go to that church!

That pretty much sums up Swinburne. As for which Swinburne poem to select for this entry, there’s so many from which to choose. I’ll go with Dolores – Our Lady of Pain – but it was a close call with the temptation of Faustine, which resembles Dolores in prayer-like quality.

 

“What coiled obscene

Small serpents with soft-stretching throats

Caressed Faustine?”

 

RATING:

A-TIER (TOP TIER)

 

 

 

There are photographs of Frost when younger but they just seem right – Robert Frost in 1949, photograph by Walter Albertin, World Telegram staff photographer, Library of Congress, New York World – Telegram & Sun Collection (public domain image)

 

 

(8) ROBERT FROST (1874-1963)

 

“Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference.”

 

When I wrote of Walt Whitman, Robert Frost was that one possible exception I proposed for Whitman as the American poet – the Great American Poet, or at least the Great New England poet in Frost’s case.

Robert Frost “was one of the most iconic and influential American poets of the 20th century. He is best known for “The Road Not Taken” and “Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening”, both of which are commonly taught to US students beginning in elementary school.”

There were two Robert Frosts – the folksy Frost that most people think of from school, “the genial homespun New England rustic”, and the folk horror Frost, who pops up from his poetry like a jump scare, “depicting with chilling starkness the loneliness of an individual in an indifferent universe” (or outright hostile one).

The latter is the dark Frost, the apocalyptic Frost of fire and ice.

 

The Frost of the poem House Fear from the short series of poems collated as The Hill Wife.

“Always—I tell you this they learned—

Always at night when they returned

To the lonely house from far away

To lamps unlighted and fire gone gray,

They learned to rattle the lock and key

To give whatever might chance to be

Warning and time to be off in flight”

 

Or the Frost of the poem Bereft:

“Where had I heard this wind before

Change like this to a deeper roar?…

Leaves got up in a coil and hissed,

Blindly struck at my knee and missed.

Something sinister in the tone

Told me my secret must be known:

Word I was in the house alone

Somehow must have gotten abroad,

Word I was in my life alone,

Word I had no one left but God.”

 

Folk horror Frost may be my tongue in cheek description of the dark(er) Frost – but not by much. I always remember being taught that the central metaphor for Frost was the title of his final collection of poem, In the Clearing – in which “Frost portrays human security as a rather tiny and quite vulnerable opening in a thickly grown forest, a pinpoint of light against which the encroaching trees cast their very real threat of darkness”.

I also always remember being taught that the central characteristic of Frost – the same characteristic that underlays (and arguably resolves) the apparent duality of the folksy Frost and the folk horror Frost – is his ambiguity which undercuts what otherwise appears to be country proverbs with profound doubt.

As for example, my opening quote from his most famous poem where the road less traveled “has made all the difference”…which may be no difference at all.

Or my quote from Bereft. To the devout Puritans who settled his beloved New England, being all alone but for God would be a source of strength or the ultimate reassurance – the God who carries you like in that Christian “Footsteps” poem. But to someone in the twentieth century filled with doubt, being alone but for God may be very alone indeed.

As for which Frost poem I would choose for this special mention, there are so many from which to choose but I’d just have to come back to his Hill Wife poems, particularly the forlorn Impulse with its rural marriage falling apart:

 

“Sudden and swift and light as that

The ties gave,

And he learned of finalities

Besides the grave.”

 

RATING:

A-TIER (TOP TIER)

 

 

 

Passport photograph of D. H. Lawrence on 22 February 2029, enclosed in a letter to Bernard Falk, Wikipedia “D.H. Lawrence” (public domain)

 

(9) D. H. LAWRENCE (1885-1930)

 

Memorably described by popular historian Paul Johnson as a “strange and intuitive Englishman”, D.H. Lawrence is perhaps best remembered for novels that were the subject of censorship trials – although he should be remembered for his best novel based on title alone, Kangaroo, because what else are you to call a novel set in Australia?

However, he was also a poet – and I prefer his poetry to his novels.

“His best-known poems are probably those dealing with nature such as those in the collection Birds, Beasts and Flowers, including the Tortoise poems, and “Snake”, one of his most frequently anthologised, displays some of his most frequent concerns: those of man’s modern distance from nature and subtle hints at religious themes.”

I was tempted to nominate his poem “The English are so Nice” – a poem that among quite a few others of his were “often wry attacks on the moral climate of England” – for this special mention entry, if for no other reason than my English ex-wife who embodied it.

 

“The English are so nice

So awfully nice

They are the nicest people in the world

And what’s more, they’re very nice about being nice

About your being nice as well!

If you’re not nice, they soon make you feel it”

 

However, I chose one of his posthumously published poems, aptly enough about death and one of his most famous – The Ship of Death.

 

“Have you built your ship of death, O have you?

O build your ship of death, for you will need it.”

 

RATING:

A-TIER (TOP TIER)

*

Auden in 1939 photographed by Carl Van Vechten – Wikipedia “W.H. Auden” (public domain)

 

 

(10) W.H. AUDEN (1907-1973)

 

“A poem is never finished; it is only abandoned”

An adage that I have used ever since at work to illustrate that there comes a cut-off point – or where you have to get to the point – for attention to detail, although it was actually Auden paraphrasing the French poet Valery.

Like T.S. Eliot, a poet claimed by both Britain and the United States except in reverse – where T.S. Eliot was an American-British poet who moved from the United States to Britain, Wystan Hugh Auden was a British-American poet who moved from Britain to the United States. Although to be honest, I tend to think of both as British.

Also one of the holy trinity of modern poets along with Eliot and Yeats – although he ranges from being seen as a lesser figure (as I suppose I do since I rank the other two in my top ten and Auden in these special mentions) to ranking him above them. I would agree that Auden was the most consummate poetic stylist of the three – Auden could pretty much compose a poem to any style or technical form on tap.

“Auden’s poetry is noted for its stylistic and technical achievement, its engagement with politics, morals, love, and religion, and its variety in tone, form, and content.”

 

“Iron-hearted man-slaying Achilles

Who would not live long.”

 

As for which Auden poem to choose for this special mention, there are so many from which to choose but I’ll go with the forlorn title poem of his collection of poetry, The Shield of Achilles.

 

“The mass and majesty of this world, all

That carries weight and always weighs the same

Lay in the hands of others; they were small

And could not hope for help and no help came”

 

 

RATING:

A-TIER (TOP TIER)

 

 

Bust of A. D. Hope in “Poet’s Corner”, Garema Place, Canberra (one of a group of three, with two other poets) photographed by Doug Butler, Wikipedia “A.D. Hope” – licensed https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0/deed.en

 

 

(11) A.D. HOPE (1907-2000)

 

“Floods her monotonous tribes from Cairns to Perth.
In them at last the ultimate men arrive
Whose boast is not: “we live” but “we survive”,
A type who will inhabit the dying earth.”

 

If you were to ask the average Australian to name one poem about Australia, I suspect you’d mostly get the answer “My Country” – as in “I love a sunburnt country” – by Dorothea Mackellar.

Well, that is, if you got any answer at all, or one that wasn’t “Waltzing Matilda”, the country’s unofficial national anthem (aptly enough about a criminal swagman who prefers death to arrest and whose ghost haunts a billabong thereafter) by Banjo Paterson – the latter also probably the answer you’d get if you asked the average Australian to name one Australian poet and not without reason as Australia’s bush balladeer bard and poet laureate.

Or perhaps the official national anthem, “Advance Australian Fair”, for which everyone forgets there’s more than one verse – and only remembers the first because of its use of the word girt, because who puts girt in a national anthem?

And then there’s that other unofficial Australian anthem and greatest lyrical genius of Australia or by any Australian ever – “Aussie Aussie Aussie! Oi oi oi!”. There’s actually more lines of this but you get the point.

If I were to name one poem about Australia, however, I’d name the poem I quoted at the outset, aptly and simply titled “Australia”, by Alec Derwent Hope- who would also be the one Australian poet I would name.

Also aptly enough for a poem about Australia by an Australian, it’s taking the p!ss out of patriotic poetic platitudes, presenting Australia as a nation clinging timidly to its coasts while draining its desert continent like a “vast parasite robber-state”.

Mind you, it’s not that much more complimentary to the European civilization of which Australia is a second-hand offshoot – “the learned doubt, the chatter of cultured apes which is called civilization over there”.

That pretty much sums up the “savagely satirical” style of A.D. Hope. I was delighted to learn that his highly er0tic verse and “frequent allusions to s€xuality” caused him to be dubbed “Phallic Alec” (in a letter to Norman Lindsay, an Australian also known for his er0ticism).

His style also harked back to eighteenth century poetry, leading an American journal to quip about him as “the greatest eighteenth century poet in the twentieth century”.

“When once asked what poets could do for Australia, Hope replied “oh not much, merely justify its existence”.

 

RATING:

A-TIER (FOR AUSTRALIA TIER! OR TOP TIER)

*

Photograph of Bukowski on the cover of this 2018 anthology of his poetry published by Canondale PBS

 

 

(12) CHARLES BUKOWSKI (1920-1994)

 

Also known as Chuck Buk – a quip about his name that I read somewhere and have used ever since.

 

 

Charles Bukowski can be summed up by that meme of one of Bender’s best lines from Futurama (from the second episode at that) – I’ll write my own damn poetry, with blackjack and hookers!

Except as the line goes later in the episode – forget about the blackjack. And some might say the poetry.

Charles Bukowski shot poetry (and prose) straight from the hip, as well as the flophouse and the gutter – raw and wriggling to quote another meme (Gollum from The Lord of the Rings film trilogy).

And yet that rawness has a striking sharpness at times – with an undeniable knack for titles of anthologies too.

As for which Bukowski poem to pick for this entry, I’d go with the pack – about the dogs of hell that pursue the poet.

 

 

RATING:

A-TIER (TOP TIER)

*

Hot damn, those are some fine muttonchops! Matthew Arnold by Elliott & Fry 1883, National Portrait Gallery, London

 

 

(13) MATTHEW ARNOLD (1822-1888)

 

“But now I only hear

Its melancholy, long, withdrawing roar,

Retreating to the breath

Of the night-wind, down the vast edges drear

And naked shingles of the world.”

 

A passage I’m fond of quoting from Arnold’s finest and best known poem, Dover Beach, for desperate last stands or holding one defensive line after another – I did it for the decline and fall of the Roman Empire because of course I did. All roads lead to Rome.

Anyway, Matthew Arnold “was an English poet, essayist, and critic from the Victorian era” – “considered one of the great Victorian poets…and one of the Victorian sages”, the latter for his essays on literary criticism and other topics.

Famously melancholic and pessimistic, particularly with respect to the decline of religious faith – that recurring source of angst and despair for Victorian poets or writers. Indeed, that melancholy, long, withdrawing roar retreating in Dover Beach is the tide going out for “the sea of faith” – that “was once, too, at the full and round earth’s shore”.

Arguably the most melancholic Victorian poet – although Alfred Lord Tennyson would give him a run for his money with Tennyson’s In Memoriam. Shortly after his death, Robert Louis Stevenson quipped about his bleak melancholy – “Poor Matt. He’s gone to heaven, no doubt – but he won’t like God”.

 

“Ah, love, let us be true

To one another! for the world, which seems

To lie before us like a land of dreams,

So various, so beautiful, so new,

Hath really neither joy, nor love, nor light,

Nor certitude, nor peace, nor help for pain;

And we are here as on a darkling plain

Swept with confused alarms of struggle and flight,

Where ignorant armies clash by night.”

 

RATING:

B-TIER (HIGH TIER)

 

 

 

Gerard Manley Hopkins as photographed – public domain image

 

 

(14) GERARD MANLEY HOPKINS (1884-1889)

 

“The achieve of, the mastery of the thing!”

Hopkins would earn special mention for “the sonnets of desolation” alone – a title I think would make a good name for a music band, perhaps as Gerard Manley Hopkins and the Sonnets of Desolation.

You don’t really expect poetry, let alone sonnets of desolation, from a man who was primarily a Jesuit priest – and an English one at that – but there you have it. Mind you, he published very little of his poetry during his life – it was only through a posthumous volume of his poems published in 1918 by his friend and fellow poet Robert Bridges that he “became recognised as one of the leading Victorian poets”.

 

“That night, that year

Of now done darkness I wretch lay wrestling with (my God!) my God.”

 

Not surprisingly for a priest, a focus of his poetry is his celebration of the natural world through the lens of his religious belief –  “his praise of God through vivid use of imagery and nature”.

Not so much however his sonnets of desolation, which evoke religious doubt or as he described them to Bridges, “the thin gleanings of a long weary while” – hence why I prefer them (as I do the poems of T.S. Eliot that reflect his early doubt rather than his later faith).

According to John Bayley – “All his life Hopkins was haunted by the sense of personal bankruptcy and impotence, the straining of ‘time’s eunuch’ with no more to ‘spend’ …”

We’ve all been there.

As for which sonnet of desolation I’d choose over the others for this special mention, I’d nominate “Carrion Comfort” – the source of my quote of wrestling with (my God!) my God.

 

RATING:

B-TIER (HIGH TIER)

 

 

 

Portrait of Rudyard Kipling by Elliott & Fry in 1895, from the biography by John Palmer – Wikipedia “Rudyard Kipling” (public domain image)

 

 

(15) RUDYARD KIPLING (1865-1936)

 

“Do you like Kipling?”

“I don’t know, you naughty boy, I’ve never kippled!”

 

Apparently, the postcard with that caption by Donald McGill, English creator of notorious “saucy” cartoon postcards in Britain, holds the record for selling the most copies at over 6 million.

However, that question is more controversial these days, given that Kipling was the quintessential poet of the British Empire, the Victorian Virgil as it were – and when it comes to his poetry, it is difficult for modern readers to overlook his notorious poem “The White Man’s Burden” cheerleading imperialism, as it was even for some of his contemporaries such as Mark Twain.

Still, he did win the 1907 Nobel Prize for Literature and was considered for British Poet Laureate, reflecting his undoubted literary skill as well as “a versatile and luminous narrative gift”. He is best known for his fiction, particularly his children’s fantasy in The Jungle Book and The Second Jungle Book, but also novels such as Kim and short stories such as The Man Who Would Be King.

Whatever the politics of his poetry – and I tend to think this is far more nuanced than the typical controversy or criticism about it as imperial propaganda – it shows an undeniable craft or skill in verse as well as the patterns of sound and speech, particularly of soldiers. I think of Kipling not simply as writing war poetry but military poetry – poetry that distinctively captured the cadence and speech of the British soldiers that were his recurring subject.

T.S. Eliot wrote of Kipling verse that “of a number of poets who have written great poetry, only… a very few whom I should call great verse writers. And unless I am mistaken, Kipling’s position in this class is not only high, but unique.” Similarly, poet Alison Brackenbury wrote “Kipling is poetry’s Dickens, an outsider and journalist with an unrivalled ear for sound and speech.”

And in 2025, I was once again prompted to an appreciation of the quality of Kipling’s verse as the film 28 Years Later made highly effective use of a recital of his poem Boots, evoking the repetitive thought pattern of a soldier marching in war to which it added a note of terrifying urgency, both in the film’s trailers and the film itself.

 

“If you can keep your head when all about you

Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;

If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,

But make allowance for their doubting too”

 

However, the Kipling poem that stays in my mind most, as it does for many other people, is his poem If – something of a sermon on Victorian masculine virtues. And while those virtues seem somewhat faded these days to the point of parody – as in that Simpsons episode where Homer retorts to Grandpa Simpson quoting the poem “You’ll be a bonehead!” – I’ll be damned if hearing or reading it doesn’t make one strive to be just a little bit better as a person.

 

“If you can fill the unforgiving minute

With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,

Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,

And—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son!”

 

RATING:

B-TIER (HIGH TIER)

*

My quoted haiku and picture by Basho – Wikipedia “Haiku” (public domain image)

 

 

(16) HAIKU

 

Quietly, quietly,

Yellow mountain roses fall –

Sound of the rapids

 

You all know haiku – “a type of short form poetry that originated in Japan” consisting of three phrases composed of 17 syllables in a 5, 7, 5 pattern “that include a kireji, or “cutting word”; and a kigo, or seasonal reference” (or more broadly natural reference).

The classical Japanese poet for haiku was Matsuo Basho, albeit he would sometimes deviate from the traditional pattern.

Upon looking up haiku, I was intrigued to learn that “similar poems that do not adhere to these rules are generally classified as senryu”, that “haiku originated as an opening part of a larger Japanese genre of poetry called renga” (as opening stanzas known as hokku before they came to be written as stand-alone poems), and that “haiku was given its current name by the Japanese writer Masaoka Shiki at the end of the 19th century”.

Haiku now are written worldwide, albeit “with different styles and traditions while still incorporating aspects of the traditional haiku form” and “non-Japanese language haiku vary widely on how closely they follow traditional elements”.

Interestingly, Japanese haiku “are traditionally printed as a single line, while haiku in English often appear as three lines”

 

 

RATING:

X-TIER (WILD TIER)

 

 

 

Wilfred Owen in uniform by Allex Langie – Wikipedia “Wilfred Owen” licensed https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/deed.en

 

 

(17) WAR POETRY – WILFRED OWENS

 

“My friend, you would not tell with such high zest

To children ardent for some desperate glory,

The old Lie: Dulce et decorum est

Pro patria mori”.

 

War poetry has a long history in literature – indeed, arguably the longest, predating written literature itself, originating at least with Homer’s Iliad. I say at least because I suspect that among the earliest recitals of the origins of poetry itself – around the campfires of our Paleolithic tribal ancestors but faded and forgotten with those tribes by the Neolithic, let alone the Bronze Age – were war chants against tribal enemies.

Even if they weren’t, then I’d certainly propose that among the earliest poems of the Bronze Age were war poems celebrating the feats of kings or warriors, only those didn’t survive as the Iliad did to become the rosy-fingered dawn of Western literature. For that matter, I’d argue much of the Bible, particularly the Psalms, are war poetry – battle hymns of the kingdom, as it were.

We probably must go to the nineteenth century and the Crimean War for the next most famous war poem – Alfred Lord Tennyson’s The Charge of the Light Brigade – although I’d also argue that there’s a rich vein of American war poetry to be mined all the way back to the Revolution.

However, there’s one war that everyone thinks of for war poetry and war poems – which is of course the First World War, primarily as written by British war poets on the Western Front, even if it more evokes the trope of war poetry than prompts recollection of any individual poets, let alone poems.

There is one World War One poet I recall over all other such poets and that is Wilfred Owen, who almost made it through the war but was killed in action at 25 years of age on 4 November 1918, just a week before armistice. He wrote quite a few, dare I call them, bangers – the titles of “Anthem for Doomed Youth” and “Futility” give away the tone of his poetry – but the one stands out for me is the one I quoted, “Dulce Et Decorum Est”, the title of course coming from the Latin verse written by the Roman poet Horace, translating as “It is sweet and fitting to die for one’s country”.

 

RATING:

X-TIER (WILD TIER)

 

 

 

Odgen Nash at Biltmore Hotel, Los Angeles in 1949, Los Angeles Daily News, Wikipedia “Ogden Nash”, licensed https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/deed.en

 

 

(18) HUMOROUS POETRY – OGDEN NASH

 

Reflections on Ice Breaking

Candy

Is dandy

But liquor

Is quicker

 

Let there be light verse!

We all love light verse or humorous poetry – “Light poetry or light verse is…usually brief, can be on a frivolous or serious subject, and often feature word play incuding puns, adventurous rhyme, and heavy alliteration”.

“While light poetry is sometimes condemned as doggerel or thought of as poetry composed casually, humor often makes a serious point in a subtle or subversive way. Many of the most renowned “serious” poets, such as Horace, Swift, Pope, and Auden, also excelled at light verse.”

When it comes to light verse or humorous poetry, I usually think of Lewis Carroll and Edmund Lear, the latter popularizing the limerick (although he did not use that term) – but above all, I think of Ogden Nash.

“Nash was best known for surprising, pun-like rhymes, sometimes with words deliberately misspelled for comic effect” – or his “fondness for crafting his own words whenever rhyming words did not exist”.

 

RATING:

X-TIER (WILD TIER)

 

 

Originally published in 1990, this is the cover of the 2012 edition by Seagull Books (the edition I own)

 

(19) MARTIN ROWSON – THE WASTELAND

 

T.S. Eliot meets Raymond Chandler – the Wasteland as detective noir.

“In Martin Rowson’s The Waste Land, private detective Chris Marlowe is tasked with getting to the bottom of the most impenetrable of all modernist mysteries: namely T. S. Eliot’s The Wasteland.

And it’s a hoot.

Highlights include the section of the poem Death by Water as the cue for the archetypal criminal hit by cement shoes or the line “Who is the third who always walks besides you?” (which Eliot borrowed from the Gospels) as the classic ruse – met by the reaction “We’re not falling for that old trick”.

 

RATING:

X-TIER (WILD TIER)

 

 

Sappho by Spanish painter Enrique Simonet (1866-1927) – Wikipedia “Sappho” (public domain)

 

 

(20) LOVE POETRY

 

may i feel said he

(i’ll squeal said she

just once said he)

it’s fun said she

 

It is one of my rules in my top ten lists to throw in a kinky entry amidst my wilder special mentions, usually as my final (twentieth) special mention, at least where the subject matter permits.

And not surprisingly, here it does. Indeed, some might ask that isn’t all poetry er0tic – or, more broadly, love poetry? That is a popular conception of poetry – “How do I love thee, let me count the ways” and all that.

I tend to agree, at least in large part, and also speculate that the origin of poetry, again at least in large part, was by suitors to woo or court their targets – certainly that would seem to be the evo psych explanation. It therefore joins that other large part of the origin of poetry I speculated as war poetry in an earlier special mention – well, that and religious poetry.

While Homer’s Iliad and Odyssey certainly feature love and s€x as central subjects, they tend to be offscreen as it were. Ironically, love poetry in Western literature would not seem so much to originate from Homer, the usual origin of Western literature in general as well as so much in it, but from another poet whose name has become synonymous with the term sapphic – Sappho.

As per Camille Paglia – “Sappho shows that love poetry is how Western personality defines itself.”

From Sappho, it’s pretty much a scenic tour of poets through to the present day for the sheer prevalence, bordering on omnipresence, of er0tic or love poetry. Indeed, it would be an entertaining exercise to do so, perhaps as my nymphomancy of poetry, although to be honest it would be largely a repetition of Camilla Paglia’s “Love Poetry” essay I quoted, in which she does just that.

However, I will just stop in at two places on that scenic tour of love poetry here. The first is Shakespeare, whose poetry and particularly sonnets would have to rank highly on a scenic tour of love poetry.

The Shakespearean sonnets are notoriously love poetry, although of course they have other allusions or themes. I’m no Shakespearean scholar but I understand that there’s quite the volume of Shakespearean studies about whom Shakespeare was wooing or courting in his sonnets – mostly the “Fair Youth” but also the “Dark Lady” as something of a love triangle.

I also understand that Shakespeare used the word will as a multiple pun with double entendre meanings – not least for his own name but including, you know, for his little Will. On that point, Shakespeare and contemporary poets uses the word death as a double entendre for 0rgasm.

The second stopping point is the example of er0tic or love poetry I quoted at the outset – e.e. cummings, aptly enough as the top spot in my Top 10 Poetry and now as finishing point for my special mentions.

 

(cccome? said he

ummm said she)

you’re divine! said he

(you are Mine said she)

 

RATING:

X-TIER (WILD TIER)

 

 

Top Tens – Tropes & Other: Top 10 Dark Ages

 

The Course of Empire: Destruction (1836) – one of a series of five paintings by Thomas Cole (in public domain) and typically the painting used when someone wants to use a painting to depict the fall of Rome, albeit the series depicts an imaginary state or city

 

 

TOP 10 DARK AGES

 

After the fall, comes the darkness – and a shallow dip top ten on the spot for my Top 10 Dark Ages!

As I said in my entry for the Dark Age in my Top 10 Ages, while it is most commonly used for the period of (western) European history after the fall of the (western) Roman Empire, it is more broadly used for other periods of perceived decline or collapse – or those marked by a comparative scarcity of historical records.

All entries are ranked B-tier or high tier.

 

(1) EUROPEAN DARK AGE

 

Yes – top spot has to go to the Dark Age that everyone thinks of when you refer to Dark Age, a term for the early Middle Ages (500-1000 AD) or even the entire Middle Ages (500-1500 AD) in European history.

Not surprisingly, it was a term not used by the people that lived in it, and tends not to be used now for that period of European history because of its negative connotations – which perhaps misses out on its cooler connotations and for that matter its continued usage in popular culture or imagination.

 

(2) BRONZE AGE COLLAPSE

 

The original Dark Age in the Bronze Age – a period of “sudden, violent and culturally disruptive” societal collapse across the eastern Mediterranean and ancient Near East in the twelfth century BC.

It saw glittering Bronze Age civilizations such as Mycenaean Greece and the Hittite Empire – effectively the combatants of the Trojan War, given Troy has been conjectured as a Hittite satellite – collapse, while even heavy hitters like Egypt barely squeaked through it.

The Bronze Age was not exactly prolific in its historical records even at its height (being more a matter of archaeology) so the Bronze Age Collapse gets pretty dark for historical records – such that much about it is hypothesis, including the infamous Sea Peoples believed to have played a large part in it.

 

(3) GREEK DARK AGES

 

Overlapping with the previous entry for the Bronze Age Collapse, the Greek Dark Ages is – or at least was – a term used for the period from the Bronze Age Collapse to archaic classical Greece, from about 1100 BC to 750 BC.

Earlier divided into the Postpalatial Bronze Age (1180-1050 BC) and the Prehistoric or Early Iron Age of Greek history (1050-800 BC), but now being abandoned as our own conception with neither period truly as “obscure”.

This is why we can’t have dark ages.

 

(4) BYZANTINE DARK AGES

 

“Historiographical term for the period in the history of the Eastern Roman (Byzantine) Empire from around c. 630 to the 760s”

Well, it’s only fair that the eastern Roman Empire should have its own Dark Ages to match that of the western Roman Empire, albeit not coinciding with the latter since it avoided the same political collapse as its western counterpart – and even expanded its control into the former western empire.

However, its turn came with its own near collapse and radical transformation from defeat in the Muslim conquests of the 7th century, following hard on the heels of the final Byzantine-Sassanid War – although at least they could say you should see the other guy, being the Persian Sassanid Empire that collapsed completely to Muslim conquest.

“It was still recognizably the late antique world dominated by the Roman Empire, with the Mediterranean mare nostrum as its center of gravity…The final Byzantine-Sassanid War weakened this world, but the Muslim conquests of the 7th century shattered it for good. The emergent caliphate was not only far more powerful and threatening than Persia had ever been, but it also shattered the political unity of the Mediterranean world…Byzantium was left territorially crippled, reduced to the status of a peripheral power, and on a permanent defensive against invaders from all sides.”

The eastern Roman Empire was radically transformed, marking “the transition between the late antique early Byzantine period and the “medieval” middle Byzantine era” – so much so that historian Peter Heather opined that the eastern empire effectively became another Roman successor state and even historian Adrian Goldsworthy noted it was permanently transformed from classical superpower to regional power.

It also has that usual proposed feature of a dark Age or dark ages – “a paucity of primary historical sources”

 

(5) DARK AGE OF THE PAPACY – “SAECULUM OBSCURAM”

 

Saeculum obscurum, which might loosely translate to dark age – entertainingly “also known as the Rule of the Harlots or the P0rnocracy” (which sadly seems to be a metaphor rather than actual description) and which “was a period in the history of the papacy during the first two thirds of the 10th century” usually seen as the nadir of the papacy in which popes were elected from or controlled by a powerful Roman aristocratic family.

And for a period to be seen as the nadir of the papacy is up against some stiff competition in an institution that fell under the control of the Borgias during the Renaissance.

 

(6) PARTHIAN DARK AGE

 

Term used for “a period of three decades in the history of the Parthian Empire between the death (or last years) of Mithridates II in 91 BC, and the accession to the throne of Orodes II in 57 BC…due to a lack of clear information on the events of this period in the empire”

 

(7) IRISH DARK AGE

 

Term coined by Oxford historian Thomas Charles-Edwards “to refer to a period of apparent economic and cultural stagnation in late prehistoric Ireland, lasting from c. 100 BC to c. AD 300”

 

(8) BRITISH DARK AGE – SUB-ROMAN BRITAIN

 

Okay, okay – the British Dark Age is part of the wider European Dark Age, albeit somewhat preceding it by close to a century due to Roman rule in Britain ending earlier, at latest in 407-410 AD and perhaps even effectively or in large part from 383 AD (when the usurper Magnus Maximus withdrew Roman forces from northern and western Britain to launch his bid for imperial power).

However, I think it deserves its own place in my top ten for three reasons.

Firstly, Britain seems to have a prominence within the wider Dark Age.

Secondly, I just like the term sub-Roman Britain which is a large part of the British Dark Age.

Thirdly because King Arthur, that’s why.

 

(9) CAMBODIAN DARK AGES

 

A term occasionally used for the post-Khmer period or so-called Middle Period of Cambodia, from the end of the Khmer Empire in the 1431 to the start of Cambodia as French protectorate in 1863 – a period not only of imperial decline and fall but also, you guessed it, a lack of reliable historical sources.

Also a term used, aptly enough, for the apocalyptic Khmer Rouge regime under Pol Pot.

 

(10) DIGITAL DARK AGE

 

One might think this is a term in anticipation of a post-apocalyptic society if ever some event, the equivalent of a global EMP, wiped out computers and computer records – particularly if it did so permanently.

Although not entirely unrelated, it is in fact a term used for “a lack of historical information in the digital age as a direct result of outdated file formats, software, or hardware that becomes corrupt, scarce, or inaccessible as technologies evolve and data decays. Future generations may find it difficult or impossible to retrieve electronic documents and multimedia, because they have been recorded in an obsolete and obscure file format, or on an obsolete physical medium…there could be a relative lack of records in the digital age as documents are transferred to digital formats and original copies are lost.

 

Top Tens – Poetry & Literature: Top 10 Poetry (Special Mention – Revised Entry) Rudyard Kipling

Portrait of Rudyard Kipling by Elliott & Fry in 1895, from the biography by John Palmer – Wikipedia “Rudyard Kipling” (public domain image)

 

 

RUDYARD KIPLING (1865-1936) – TO BE NUMBERED WITHIN MY SPECIAL MENTIONS AS I RESHUFFLE THEM!

 

“Do you like Kipling?”

“I don’t know, you naughty boy, I’ve never kippled!”

 

Apparently, the postcard with that caption by Donald McGill, English creator of notorious “saucy” cartoon postcards in Britain, holds the record for selling the most copies at over 6 million.

However, that question is more controversial these days, given that Kipling was the quintessential poet of the British Empire, the Victorian Virgil as it were – and when it comes to his poetry, it is difficult for modern readers to overlook his notorious poem “The White Man’s Burden” cheerleading imperialism, as it was even for some of his contemporaries such as Mark Twain.

Still, he did win the 1907 Nobel Prize for Literature and was considered for British Poet Laureate, reflecting his undoubted literary skill as well as “a versatile and luminous narrative gift”. He is best known for his fiction, particularly his children’s fantasy in The Jungle Book and The Second Jungle Book, but also novels such as Kim and short stories such as The Man Who Would Be King.

Whatever the politics of his poetry – and I tend to think this is far more nuanced than the typical controversy or criticism about it as imperial propaganda – it shows an undeniable craft or skill in verse as well as the patterns of sound and speech, particularly of soldiers. I think of Kipling not simply as writing war poetry but military poetry – poetry that distinctively captured the cadence and speech of the British soldiers that were his recurring subject.

T.S. Eliot wrote of Kipling verse that “of a number of poets who have written great poetry, only… a very few whom I should call great verse writers. And unless I am mistaken, Kipling’s position in this class is not only high, but unique.” Similarly, poet Alison Brackenbury wrote “Kipling is poetry’s Dickens, an outsider and journalist with an unrivalled ear for sound and speech.”

And in 2025, I was once again prompted to an appreciation of the quality of Kipling’s verse as the film 28 Years Later made highly effective use of a recital of his poem Boots, evoking the repetitive thought pattern of a soldier marching in war to which it added a note of terrifying urgency, both in the film’s trailers and the film itself.

 

“If you can keep your head when all about you

Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;

If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,

But make allowance for their doubting too”

 

However, the Kipling poem that stays in my mind most, as it does for many other people, is his poem If – something of a sermon on Victorian masculine virtues. And while those virtues seem somewhat faded these days to the point of parody – as in that Simpsons episode where Homer retorts to Grandpa Simpson quoting the poem “You’ll be a bonehead!” – I’ll be damned if hearing or reading it doesn’t make one strive to be just a little bit better as a person.

 

“If you can fill the unforgiving minute

With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,

Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,

And—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son!”

 

RATING:

B-TIER (HIGH TIER)