Stark Ravings – 8 D & D Schools of Magic for Bling & Booty (1) Abjuration

The temptation of St Anthony is a subject recurring surprisingly often in art and literature, with one of the most famous being this painting by Salvador Dali in 1946 – not only my favorite painting on the subject (and one of my favorite paintings on any subject) but still my favorite representation of abjuration, although I don’t know how well it’s working for St Anthony here against Dali’s forces of temptation

 

 

 

(1) ABJURATION

 

This school of magic seems pretty straightforward – it…ah, abjures? Essentially, it is protective magic, and as such perhaps one of the oldest schools of magical thinking in actual history, going by the fancy name of apotropaic magic with our ancestors looking to it to protect themselves from various dire threats – and the most substantial one surviving into the present day, in all our various charms or rituals for luck. (And remember religion is just organized magic – and prayer plea-bargaining with the universe to break the rules in your favor. Yeah, I went there.)

Firstly, it protects from mundane threats – protection spells against arrows, fire and so on. In the Boxer Rebellion of 1899-1901 in China, the Boxers (or the much cooler sounding Society of Righteous and Harmonious Fists) believed their magic or supernatural power would make them invulnerable to bullets. (Spoiler alert – it didn’t).

Secondly, and perhaps more importantly, it protects from magic threats – although our ancestors often didn’t distinguish between mundane and magical threats, seeing one originate in the other – such as the various anti-magic spells in the Dungeons & Dragons game. Although frankly I think the spells in the game don’t go far enough, as they really should make magical creatures such as dragons or giants collapse of their own biological impossibility – a true anti-sorcerer should roam a fantasy world sucking in all and sundry like a magical black hole.

Now in the rules of the game, you can of course skip this school in preference for others, but in a world of monsters and magic you’d be better off walking around naked. (Frankly, if I lived in such a world, I’d have abjuration spells tattooed into my skin – or even if they worked in this world). A supreme abjurer could stroll through a pitched battle without a scratch – or sit sipping cocktails in Hell while all the demons drooled uselessly around him or her.

Of course, in a sense all magic is abjuration – abjuring or suspending the laws of time and space, which actually sounds like an interesting premise for magic in a fantasy story, casting spells by picking which laws to suspend, like gravity or thermodynamics…

 

BLING & BOOTY POTENTIAL

 

As essential as it is, the school of abjuration is not so much fantasy Fortune 500 material (unless you’re very good or lucky) as it is more the solid high-earning fantasy professional option – the sort where fantasy parents want their children to grow up to be abjurers like we do doctors, lawyers and engineers (although there’d probably also be abundance of crappy cut-rate abjurers just getting by flogging bug-ridden or pirated lucky charms). The primary market would be as security or defence contractors (although throw in some divination and you could double up as a security and insurance provider). As for booty, you’ll just have to rely on the nice suits you wear and good money you’ll make as a professional abjurer. Personally, I’d take the easy anti-sorcerer option of roaming the fantasy world, ransoming dragons of their hoards by threatening them with their own biological impossibility. (The Hobbit would have been over much quicker – just strolling up to the Lonely Mountain and going all Scrooge McDuck swimming in Smaug’s vault).

 

Stark Ravings – 8 D & D Schools of Magic for Bling & Booty (Introduction)

Sorcerer Seoni, one of the so-called iconics or iconic characters for Pathfinder, essentially the spinoff game from Dungeons & Dragons 3.5 edition, as she appears in her profile art from the Player’s Handbook – bringing the bling and booty to the schools of magic. I’m assuming she has to wear that for her magic to work.

 

 

8 D & D SCHOOLS OF MAGIC FOR BLING & BOOTY

 

No – we’re not talking about Hogwarts. We’re talking about the ‘schools’ of arcane power, classifying functional magic in fantasy by its type or effect. Now there’s probably as many such schools of magic as there are works of fantasy – black magic, blood magic, white magic, wild magic and so on – but perhaps the most comprehensive are the eight schools of magic in Dungeons & Dragons, at least in its peak 3.5 edition, which is not surprising for something that attempts to systematically codify the genre of fantasy for obsessive-compulsive rules-lawyering geeks to play as a game.

 

 

I mean, dear God, do the rules of chance need so many sides…or is that dimensions? And, dear God, what’s in the bag? WHAT”S IN THE BAG?! (Promotional image of GWHOLE brand D & D dice for sale on Amazon)

 

In the game, wizards can specialize in one of the schools of magic (at the expense of others), so it is a matter of some importance to pick the more powerful or versatile schools. However, this begs the most important question – for users of magic in the game or the genre of fantasy in general – which schools of magic are best for bling and booty (in every sense of the word)? After all, if you’re going to play with forces that put you at risk of some eldritch abomination sniffing out your scent, sucking out your soul with a straw and wearing your skin like a suit, then it better come with fabulous rewards – preferably the fantasy equivalent of the Fortune 500 and the Playboy Mansion. And just remember with the last, magic is equal opportunity – the sorceress Circe in Homer’s Odyssey essentially used her magic to have her own private island equivalent of the Playboy Mansion filled with her favorite, ah, manimals.

And so we take a stroll through the eight schools of magic, looking at which are the more powerful or versatile – including the extent to which they can effectively function as other schools of magic – and more importantly, which ones are the best for bling and booty…